When Love Calls
by Emrys MK
Summary: When Harry finds Snape's journal, he discovers a secret that will change his life, but there are other revelations to come... more than he or anyone else could ever imagine. Re-post from 2003
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: When Love Calls (re-post from 2003, but with major edits)

**Author**: Sev1970/MK Malfoy

**Began**: February 28, 2003 **Completed**: October 24, 2003 **Edited**: March 30 – May 07, 2007 **Edited**: July - September 2009

**Summary**: When Harry finds Snape's journal, he discovers a secret that will change his life, but there are other revelations to come... more than he or anyone else could ever imagine.

**Rating**: M

**Characters**: Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Sirius Black, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger

**Word Count**: 237,000

**Genres**: Romance, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

**Warnings**: language; sexual content; rimming; frottage; mild chan (a few weeks before Harry's seventeenth birthday there might be slight allusions to sexual activities, but no penetration until he is seventeen); adult language, character deaths, some major (Not Harry or Severus); references to past rape; attempted rape; spoilers -- all books through HP4, and some of HP5; suicidal thoughts, periods of fluffiness, but there is more than enough angst to counter that, and AU - obviously this is going to be very AU now since I wrote most of the fic before OotP came out.

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters are mine; they all belong to JK Rowling. I am only borrowing them for my own fun, and do not ever expect to receive anything other than satisfaction from writing this.

**A/N**: This is a re-post, with major edits, but it is not a re-write. I wrote this my very first year in fandom, six years ago, which, to tell you the truth, is mind-boggling. I am so very proud of this fic. Certainly, I would approach certain situations differently now: I'd make Snape a heck of a lot meaner (although, he is plenty mean at times), and I would never ever attempt to write a 'third person - omniscient' again, which is why I am so glad I did it then. Okay, enough of the A/N and on with the fic!

**~*~**

**Chapter One**

_07 February 1997 —_

_I cannot allow these feelings to remain embedded in my soul without any recourse… _

Harry had already read the passage five times. Before he could read another word, he closed the journal; he was at a loss for words – his mind was numb.

Today was the day the students were to leave for summer hols and, before he left, Harry had decided to look in the forbidden forest for some plants that he would need for his Potions homework he was to do over the summer.

As he was about to leave he'd stumbled upon the charred notebook and, after checking it for charms and making sure it wasn't a Portkey, Harry'd picked it up and opened it: the pages, filled with writing, bore singe marks, but nothing seemed irreparably damaged. Harry could tell it was a journal by the dates and entries, and his curiosity got the best of him.

He'd then sat down in a small clearing to read the contents. It seemed as though someone no longer wanted or needed the information within so Harry hadn't felt as though he was prying. He'd thumbed through the notebook briefly, but then decided to begin at the beginning.

His eyes had widened when he saw the name at the top of the first page: Severus Snape.

_This doesn't seem right – Snape is so guarded. He would never discard his journal. Snape would most likely hide a possession such as this and probably even guard it with charms. Then how did it end up here? _Harry wondered, unsure what to do: read it or return it to where he'd found it. Being Harry, it was quite obvious which one of these options he would opt to do_._

His professor would never be so negligent as to leave this where someone could come across it, even if it had been found deep in the forbidden forest. Because of this, Harry doubted that its owner had wanted to get rid of it in such a manner, but his curiosity had still got the better of him and he'd decided to read what Snape had written.

After re-reading the entry once more, Harry replaced the journal where he'd retrieved it and sat in stunned silence. It was impossible; there was no possible way Snape had written those words!

Even after six years of being on the receiving end of endless taunting and a seemingly loathsome attitude from his Potions professor, Harry had gained a healthy respect for Snape; he knew about his past with Voldemort and was aware of his spying for Professor Dumbledore. Those activities surely precipitated the persona that was Severus Snape. Still... there was no way!

But those words had been written in Snape's handwriting; Harry had received enough red-inked comments on essays to know that the small, precise, almost impossible-to-read handwriting was indeed Snape's. As mad as it seemed, it had to have been Snape who wrote those words. A befuddled Harry shook his head and let out a slight laugh; no one would ever believe Snape had written such a thing. Harry didn't even believe it, but he was beginning to, and he was beginning to actually think about what those words written about him meant. Harry knew one thing: if Severus Snape had indeed written those words, he had meant them, and a small part of Harry liked the idea of that. Beggars couldn't be choosers after all. But then he shook his head to rid himself of such thoughts. It was completely mad. Harry needed something else to think about, to remove these disturbing images from his mind. Unfortunately, there were no other images coming to mind. Harry did the only thing he could do and took a deep breath. Things for him were never easy. Why was that?

So... what should he do? Snape liked him, a lot if those words had been any indication. Naturally, the thought of... with Snape... ugh! Well, it was a bit too ghastly to even imagine him and Snape... Harry was quite happy in his pursuit of witches, thank you very much. He had never even given thought to liking a wizard in that way. Nevertheless, as mental as it was, Harry thought that he should probably get to know the person who was Severus Snape. He needed to know this person who, for some strange reason, liked him in a non-friendly way. The professor he knew was not at all someone he liked, but he also knew that everyone had more than one side, so surely that went for Snape as well? Ugh... doing it with Snape. Harry scrubbed his eyballs mentally and tried desperately to think of Cho, even Ginny. Anyone other than Snape.

All ickiness aside, if his professor had seen something in him worth loving, yes, not merely liking, but loving, Harry knew that he wanted to know what that something was. In Harry's sixteen years, he hadn't known real love. Yes, his parents must have loved him before they died, and his godfather surely loved him, but he hadn't been raised in a loving environment and had always craved love and acceptance. In the wizarding world, he was accepted and admired as the boy who lived, but Harry wanted to be accepted for him.

As daunting as the prospect seemed, and as completely mad as the potential reality was, Harry was determined to get to know Snape.

**~*~**

It promised to be a pleasant summer – not too hot as of yet, and plenty quiet – it would be glorious in Severus's eyes. Now that there was nothing for him to fret over, he let down his defenses. During the school year, the Potions master was busy being the 'greasy git', and this past year, he had also been consumed with every emotion possible thanks to one Harry Potter, a fact which still perplexed him. He didn't understand. It just wasn't right that he should be having these feelings towards a student. He prided himself on very little, but he had thought he was above falling for a student... obviously, he had been mistaken. It was a grave development that he was sure he'd pay for in one way or another.

He'd already paid dearly for loving Harry Potter.

No matter his feelings, Severus had not allowed himself to ease up his harsh treatment of Harry. _Potter_ could never know how he felt, and _Potter_ had to be his most loathed enemy. The Dark Lord could never know what truths resided within his once believed faithful servant, which wasn't so difficult these days since Severus was no longer a spy for Dumbledore.

The Dark Lord had discovered that Severus was a spy for the other side and not him. Luckily, Severus had found out before the meeting; he had received an anonymous letter warning him not to go when Voldemort called unless he wanted to die a long and painful death. Dumbledore and Severus had questioned a few of their informants, but everyone had denied sending the warning, so the only plausible answer was that it must have been one of the Death Eaters, but who, and why? There were a few ideas running through Severus's mind... well, only one, really. As of yet, however, he and the Headmaster hadn't been able to prove anything.

Dumbledore had forbidden Severus to leave the grounds of Hogwarts: there was no doubt Severus was a dead man if he allowed himself to be caught by Death Eaters. Not only had he been a spy, he had been Voldemort's most trusted Death Eater – he'd known everything. Contrary to how most people would react to having their movements restricted, being confined to Hogwarts was not a major concern to Severus. He was under no illusion about how dire his situation was and, although he had never been a man overly concerned about the outcome of his life, he was not going to jeopardize other lives by being careless. The Headmaster depended on him, and that was enough to keep him at Hogwarts. He needed to be alive to help, and he had every intention of helping in any way possible.

The likelihood of ever penetrating the ranks of the bastard, a second time, were slim to none, but Severus knew he had to try, therefore he had to maintain his previous facade to the outside world. He wasn't sure what the children of the Death Eaters knew, and he wasn't even sure what the Death Eaters knew, but he knew that he needed to continue as he had before. His life was surely in constant danger, but Harry's was in more peril than ever and Severus would give the Dark Lord no ammunition to fuel the fire that already burned brightly. Therefore, these bizarre and unsettling feelings that had been growing stronger since the beginning of last term, would never be allowed to surface. As long as he had it in his power, Severus was going to protect Harry as best he could.

One thing he knew, without a doubt, however, was that he mightn't understand his changing feelings towards Harry, but he wouldn't deny their existence; he, more than anyone, knew just how much he had lost in his life. Knowing what he had been through, and what Harry had been through, it shouldn't at all surprise Severus what was happening, yet it did.

**~*~**

Harry was jolted awake the following morning by tapping on the window. As he retrieved the parchment and opened it, his jaw gaped. Dumbledore requested his presence in his office in an hour. No clues were given as to what the meeting was about – the parchment only requested Harry meet him in one hour. This was most unusual; Harry knew it must be urgent. He looked around him at the scattered clothing and items on the floor; he really was messy – Hermione was quite right about that. He hadn't even been in this room for twelve hours and it already looked eerily similar to his dorm room in Gryffindor Tower. Oh well, he guessed he'd have to wait to tidy it (as if) until later. It seemed as though he'd be leaving Hogsmeade for a few hours and returning to Hogwarts sooner than expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**~*~**

Never being one to procrastinate, Severus found himself preparing for the upcoming term, no matter that the previous one had ended only the day before. This was his routine, and he'd repeated it each year that he had taught at Hogwarts. Everything had to be properly prepared for next term before he would allow himself to relax, well, as much as he could ever do such a thing: the cauldrons had to be washed, re-polished, and ready to use; the ingredients re-stocked in their proper place, and the desks cleaned and aligned just so. He had owled in an order to Slug & Jiggers the previous day to replenish his potion supplies, and was now stocking his shelves with said potions and supplies.

As he reached up to the top shelf in order to replace the lace-wings flies, Severus grinned when he noticed a few small phials grouped together at the very back of the shelf: they were only for the most advanced of students, and unfortunately, there had been none of those in three years. Severus sighed, thinking that the art of potion-making was going the way of the magic carpet. Dumbledore had asked him to take on a few of the older students and to teach them about the volatile potions, but Severus had refused, unwilling to teach unteachable students. A small chuckle escaped. Didn't he do that each day of term? Nevertheless, if the potions weren't used within the next term, they'd have to be disposed of. Such a waste, but Severus mentally wrote himself a note not to forget the date when they needed to be removed.

**~*~**

Harry entered the entrance hall and wondered what this meeting with Dumbledore was about. Fortunately, or perhaps not, he didn't have long to wait. He saw Dumbledore motion him towards the High Table in the Great Hall, and noticed how pale and tired the older man looked. After Harry joined him and the two had seated themselves, Dumbledore looked at Harry for what seemed like an eternity – a fact that made Harry extremely nervous. Fear began to rise within him as those blue eyes continued their appraisal. It was bad news: it had to be. "Professor…er is what you have to tell me bad news?" Harry took a deep breath and prayed to whomever would listen that the Headmaster's next words were not going to be about Sirius, but he had a bad feeling – the way those usually twinkling eyes looked at him – it wasn't a happy look.

"There was an attack early this morning at your aunt and uncle's home. I am sorry, Harry, but your aunt, uncle, and cousin were murdered."

What? No. That can't have happened. Yet the proof was on Dumbledore's face. Harry was sure the blood was draining from his face, but he didn't know how he should react or feel; he had so many different emotions welling up inside of him. His aunt, uncle, and cousin had never treated him with any respect and, for the previous two summers, it had been pure hell for him at number four, Privet Drive. Harry wanted to feel bad, but he couldn't, at least not for his uncle. But still... had they deserved what'd happened to them? Harry didn't think so. Then he had a thought. "Did you know there would be an attack, Professor? Is that why you wanted me to stay in Hogsmeade?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Draco informed me that Voldemort wanted to waste no time this summer in obtaining your services for his side. We felt it necessary to keep you away from whatever might happen. Aurors were sent to Privet Drive, and they were ordered to remove your aunt, uncle, and cousin from their home. Unfortunately, Voldemort was one step ahead of us and had someone planted there. It seems that your aunt, uncle, and cousin were held hostage until this morning, and then were killed. We lost four Aurors." At this, Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "The person Voldemort sent apparently coated your relatives' home in poison. Anyone entering without having been given the antidote would die within minutes. It was an ambush, one I admit none of us saw coming. We have grown too complacent, Harry," Albus said, regret in his voice as he removed his spectacles and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Harry knew by looking in the Headmaster's eyes and listening to his voice… he knew what Dumbledore's next words were going to be.

"I am so sorry, Harry. Sirius and Professor Lupin, along with two other Aurors, died in the attack."

Harry began shaking as he turned his head away and looked toward the entrance hall. He felt like he had died – he wanted to die. Sirius had been the one bright spot in his life – the one person he trusted and looked up to like a parent. It was all gone now, and for what? Why did Sirius have to be taken away from him? Harry didn't ask for much, and he'd never complained about his destiny, well, not much, that is. All he'd ever wanted was to be happy. His godfather had given him happiness. Now, all of that was gone, a memory Harry would have to recall. No more would the two of them talk to each other for hours and no more would he be able to talk to Sirius about his problems. It was all gone. Damn Voldemort for taking everyone he had ever loved from him. Harry wiped his face with his sleeve and cleared his throat before he began to speak. This couldn't be happening. How could this be happening? Anger began to build within him, but he forced it away; there would be time for anger later. "I want to see him. I never got to say goodbye. He—" Harry wanted to say more, but couldn't, so he let the words go and shook his head. It wasn't fair. As the first tear began to fall, and as he roughly wiped it away, Dumbledore stood and looked away. Harry was thankful for the small gesture. He tried to stop the other tears from following, but it was no use.

"His and Professor Lupin's funeral will be held this evening here at the castle. They will be buried here, Harry. You will have time alone with him if you wish; the bodies will be arriving soon. For now, I think it best if you return to Hogsmeade, gather your belongings, and then return here. You will be staying at Hogwarts this summer – arrangements have already been made. As soon as you return with your things, I will show you to your room. I am sorry, Harry," added the Headmaster, his eyes sad and downcast. "Sirius will be missed, as will Lupin."

Harry nodded. He wanted to speak, but found he couldn't, so he stood and turned to leave, but he would be returning, as this was now his only home: He had no place else to go. Voldemort had now succeeded in taking away every member of his family._ And they were all taken because of me… he just wanted me. _Harry had never been so mad at anyone in his life. He wanted to kill Voldemort; he wanted to silence him once and for all.

**~*~**

His re-stocking of his stores complete, Severus was free to enjoy his holiday, and that is what he intended on doing. During the year, when Hogwarts was full of students, Severus felt trapped. For all intents and purposes, he was trapped, even if it was of his own doing. In his role as spy and everyone's most hated professor, he wasn't free to be himself; he had to play his part – he loathed that he had to do so, but he also knew that it was a small price to pay in the larger scheme of things. He knew he could easily be dead. Instead, he had been given a second chance, and he would not disappoint the one who had given that chance to him... not this time. Dumbledore was his mentor; he was the only person Severus truly didn't want to disappoint. Well, that seemed to be changing now, didn't it? Still, Dumbledore's approval meant quite a bit to Severus, and he didn't want to let the man down.

As such, he lived his days on guard, and his nights in brief respite. His co-workers rarely saw him when he wasn't on guard, and sometimes Severus wondered if he hadn't completely lost sight of that person who resided underneath the robes and starch. It wasn't easy keeping two people alive in one body. Severus chuckled at the image the thought had conjured: Quirrel had found that out in a quite dreadful way, hadn't he?

He was thinking about these things and how nice it was to be free of those dreadfully boorish students for a few weeks, when he decided to take a stroll outside by the lake_. My students really do think me to be uncaring and without feelings. Not that they are too far off, but as long as I know who I am, that is all that matters, _Severus thought as he ambled across the grounds, looking at the various places that held memories for him, both good and bad. He decided to sit underneath the Beech tree and he even considered taking a brief kip. As he looked around him, he enjoyed the fresh air and watched the giant squid as it attempted to catch some smaller prey in the lake. Eventually he drifted off to sleep.

**~*~**

It didn't take Harry long to gather his belongings. He loaded his trunk and shrank it so he could carry it easily, and he thought about Flooing back to Hogwarts, but he decided that he could use the fresh air that walking would allow him; he had so much running through his mind. Twenty-four hours ago, he had thought he was in for a difficult summer….

If he'd only known.

Harry had dreaded returning to number four, Privet Drive, more specifically, his uncle, knowing things would continue where they had left off the previous summer. Sirius was being sent out on missions more often and had told Harry he might not see him before school began in September. Then, to top off everything, Harry had found the journal entry from Snape. All of these things had combined to weigh on Harry, but now... now he would give anything and everything to have just those problems.

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Harry had lost everything.

Harry walked by the lake and spotted the Whomping Willow out of the corner of his eye. Seeing it brought back Harry's first meeting with his godfather. It seemed like ages ago, but it had been only three years. Harry and Sirius had three years worth of memories that Harry could recall when he needed. That was better than nothing, but it wasn't fair.

"IT'S NOT FAIR! DAMN IT. WHY? WHY? TAKE ME, YOU BASTARD. IT'S ME THAT YOU WANT!" Harry was furious. He shouted out to no one and to everyone. He wanted the world to know how angry he was. He screamed and beat his fists on the ground and cried to the point that he could hardly catch his breath. He soon ceased shouting and screaming, but he continued both sobbing uncontrollably and pounding his fists into the ground. He couldn't feel them any longer and didn't care. He didn't want to feel anything.

_**~*~**_

Severus, who hadn't been sleeping long, was awakened by screaming. He turned to find the source and saw someone doubled over and hitting the ground with their fists. Whomever it was had permission to be on the grounds, for the grounds of Hogwarts were warded heavily – that being the case, Severus couldn't imagine who it could be, and why it was that they were so very distraught. He quickly made his way over to whomever it was and knelt beside them and put his hand on their shoulder gently as not to startle them. He wasn't prepared for what he saw next.

Harry was on all fours with his head facing the ground. At the touch to his shoulder, he slowly turned his head so that he could see who had interrupted his moment of grief.

Severus gasped when he saw Harry's face. The boy had dirt caked on his body, and his fists were cut and bruised, already turning different colors. Severus was scared. Whatever had caused Harry to end up this way must be very bad. He knew the boy had been through more than most in his short life, but he had never seen him anywhere near this hysterical, even after Diggory's death.

"Harry, please look at me," Severus managed to say, keeping his voice calm and much softer than usual; it wouldn't do to frighten Harry further, although, he mused, ever-so-briefly: his being nice might, in itself, be rather frightening.

After making initial eye contact, Harry returned his gaze to its previous position, but he slowly lifted his head towards Snape and tried to bring himself to a sitting position, but with his hands being as they were, he could hardly move.

Severus took only a second to make his decision: He picked Harry up in one swift motion and took him to where he had been kipping minutes earlier. He gently set the trembling body down against the tree, and sat beside him, holding onto him, and trying to figure out what was going on. He didn't know what he should do or say. Seeing Harry this way disturbed him; he knew Harry was in a serious state and needed help. "Harry, what happened?"

Harry was beyond words by now, the loss he had suffered, too great for his system. He knew Snape was talking to him, and he tried answering, but nothing came out. He could feel his body getting cold and clammy and knew he was about to pass out.

Severus noticed Harry's skin beginning to pale. In an instant, he was standing and then running with Harry in his arms to the hospital wing. He had never run so fast in his life. All he could think was: Harry wasn't Harry. Something was wrong with him and he was in serious danger.

"Poppy… get in here… NOW! I found Harry outside and I don't know… something is wrong. He was crying and screaming and yelling and beating his fists… and…"

Poppy Pomfrey entered the room and hurried over to the out-of-breath professor. She tried removing Harry, but Severus wouldn't release his hold. "Severus, please put him down. I can't examine him if you won't let me see him."

Severus gently placed an unconscious Harry on the bed nearest him and then knelt down beside him and looked at Poppy as she began examining Harry. If she was shocked or surprised by his actions, she didn't let on. "I found him outside, Poppy." Severus had no idea what to do next, but he couldn't leave Harry like this.

"The Headmaster came in here earlier asking me to remain nearby for this very reason. I am surprised he didn't react this way when he was first told," was her reply as she continued to examine Harry.

"Told what, Poppy? What was Harry told that has him in such a state?"

"His god--"

"Black?" Severus could hear his heart beating; it was thrumming in his ears. He watched as Poppy nodded. "Was Black killed?" Severus had an immediate urge to smirk, but no matter how he felt about the former Marauder and thorn-in-his-side, the mutt was – had been – Harry's godfather. Oh. This was bad. This was very bad. Severus felt sorrow for Harry that he hadn't felt in years, not since... well, not since a long time ago.

Poppy sighed as she nodded her head. "He is in deep shock, Severus. We need to keep him warm. His body couldn't cope so it has shut down. Professor Dumbledore told me that Harry was upset when he left earlier. That is why I am surprised he lasted this long without having a break down. He will get better, but it will take time. Shock is something no potion will heal; it has to be allowed to recede on its own. How fast that happens depends on how quickly the patient wants to recover. He has to want to get better, Severus. In wizards, shock is extremely dangerous. Since it is a Muggle malady, usually, it reacts violently when it attaches itself to a witch or wizard's blood. He will need constant supervision and constant prodding to return to us. He could wake up in ten minutes or he could remain this way for weeks."

As Poppy was telling Severus this, the Headmaster entered with a look of sorrow on his face. "Oh Harry." He remained at the edge of the bed and could only look with sadness at the boy who had lost so much. "They just brought Sirius's and Remus's bodies. Harry wanted to spend some time with Sirius and I told him he could."

Severus forced himself to look away from Harry as he cleared his throat and looked at the Headmaster. "I'll take him. He mightn't be conscious of it, but I shall take him. I don't know… perhaps I don't know what I am saying, but if he asked to see his godfather, then I think we should allow him that. I will take full responsibility for him, Headmaster." Severus felt as if someone else were doing his talking for him; this wasn't him at all. Yet it was, and he knew exactly why he was saying and doing this. If only the same courtesy had been extended to him when... when his life had forever changed. Severus shook his head; there wasn't time to dwell on such past sadness now, not when there was enough of the present variety.

"Yes, Severus…that will be fine," the Headmaster said, his voice low and shaking, before he opened the door and left the hospital wing.

Severus hadn't seen Dumbledore this distraught ever, the nearest to it being when he himself had admitted to his mentor that he had received the Dark Mark. It had nearly killed Severus to see the older man so distraught. He had vowed that day to never give Dumbledore any other reason to be disappointed in him. "Poppy, may I take him now? I do not wish to be interrupted by anyone else who will be coming to see Lupin and Black before the funeral."

"Yes, you may take him, Severus, but please be careful, and do try to talk to him. It could help bring him back to us. I will be in my office when you return."

Severus gently picked Harry up and cradled him to his chest. The Gryffindor had grown over the years, but was still considered extremely small for his age. Severus easily carried Harry to the room where his godfather's and Remus's caskets now resided and walked over to Sirius's casket and stood there, paying his respects. He hadn't got along with Sirius, ever, but not even the mangy mutt had deserved this. Another victim. How many had died because of that bastard, and how many more would have to die? Sirius had known the risks associated with being an Auror. Many people had begged him to not resume his former profession that he had secretly entered after leaving Hogwarts, but he had willingly done so, knowing the risk would be far greater if Voldemort were to remain free.

"Black, it's me, Snape. Yes, I know we never got along, but you weren't supposed to die this way. You were to come get Harry and the two of you should have been happy. I am sorry you never got to do that. Harry wanted to see you. I found him outside. He was screaming and crying. I know he wanted to talk with you one last time, to tell you bye. I brought him to you, so he could do so. He looks so peaceful, just as you do. I think he would join you if he could, but he can't. It isn't his time yet. He has lost so much, and I know it's too much for him, but I couldn't handle it if he left. I care for him. I care for him so much that it hurts. I am sorry you had to die, and I am sorry that Harry has to go through this. Sometimes I just don't understand. Why would things such as this be allowed to happen?" And the worst part about all of this was that Severus had played his part in all of these bad things; it was a regret he would never recover from. "Harry loved you; he loves you, Black. I could always tell when you were around by the ridiculous smile on his face. You really brought Harry more joy in three years than I think he had in his previous thirteen."

Severus found a chair near the casket and sat down with Harry still wrapped in his arms. Severus brought the pale lifeless body closer to his and closed his eyes with his head resting against the back of the chair. Then he looked down at Harry and began speaking.

"Please wake up, Harry. There are so many people who want to see you, and to talk to you. I know you can hear me. If I thought it would help to wake you, I would even yell at you and take points away from Gryffindor – I would do anything, Harry." And it was true, but again, this didn't seem right. Why was he so concerned about Harry? Yes, he had known his feelings towards Harry were vastly stronger, but why did he feel as though he would die if anything happened to Harry? As unsettling as it was, and it was most disheartening, he felt himself beginning to accept that there was something within Harry that was calling to him. Severus didn't know what it was, but there was something. As Harry slept in his arms, and as Severus looked down and watched the small chest rise and fall, it was as if no time had passed. If only...

**~*~**

Harry had been fighting to climb out of the darkness that was claiming him, but he was too weak and couldn't reach the surface. He could hear someone talking to him, but he couldn't talk back. The voice sounded familiar, but strange. Slowly the voice became clearer, and it came to him – it was Snape's voice. Yes, he could definitely tell that it was Snape talking to him._ Talking to me? Why would Snape be talking to me_? Harry could hear him talking to Sirius._ Sirius died. I wanted to go see him and tell him bye_. Harry could now hear everything Snape said, and he wanted so much to wake so he could talk. He was trying with everything he could muster to force his voice to make a sound. Suddenly his eyes popped open, and a startled Snape gasped.

"Harry, can you hear me? If you can, please squeeze my hand."

Harry squeezed Snape's hand and watched as the man sighed, and, although it was hoarse from screaming earlier, Harry's voice finally made its way to being heard. "Professor– Sirius – you talking – he's gone…" Harry closed his eyes and tears started falling again.

Severus tried to ignore the tears; he knew how much he disliked it when others saw him in a moment of weakness. "Yes, I brought you to see Sirius. We didn't know if you would wake before the funeral, and the Headmaster said you wanted to see your godfather again."

Harry didn't understand why Snape of all people was with him, but at the moment he really couldn't be bothered to figure it out; there would be time for that later. "Will you take me to Sirius? I want to see him." Harry felt himself being lifted as Snape stood. Then he turned his head from the comfortable cloak he had been enveloped in and saw the face of his godfather. He felt himself being lowered so he was almost eye-level with the casket. His godfather looked as if he were merely asleep. Unfortunately, he wasn't. "I am so sorry, Sirius… so sorry. If it weren't for me, you would still be alive." Harry then took his right hand, which had been wrapped, and touched his godfather's face. He ran his hand over the cool cheek and let out a sob. "Love you, Sirius."

Severus returned to the chair and sat down as he listened to Harry trying not to cry as he muffled his sobs in the cloak that he now clung to. It was such an odd sight, one Severus felt very uncomfortable with, yet he wasn't ready to return to the hospital wing just yet. He wanted Harry to have time to cry and release his emotions because he knew once Harry was around Poppy and the Headmaster, he would return the mask that Severus knew all too well.

Severus loosened his hold on Harry, thinking perhaps the boy needed a little breathing room, but as soon as Severus did this, Harry tightened his grip.

"Please don't leave me," Harry said as he opened his eyes, ones that were filled with such sadness, much like that night all those years ago.

Severus shook his head; he didn't want to remember. He brought the trembling body closer to his and gently rocked with him as if he were a small child. "I will never leave you, Harry," and as completely mad as that statement seemed, it was the truth.

Severus eventually had to return Harry to Poppy's care. After laying him on the bed, he took Harry's hand in his and told him he was going to see the Headmaster, but that he would be back soon.

Harry didn't understand why, but he didn't want Snape to leave. He had to let him go, though._ He did say he was coming back… but they all thought that_. Harry seemed to have an endless supply of tears, and a new round found their way down his face. He continued looking at Snape as the tears continued to fall. Why was he acting this way in front of Snape?

Severus wiped away Harry's tears and did his best to stave off his own; he had never felt as needed as he did now; well, yes, he had, but then he hadn't been able to do anything about it – now he could and would. He wasn't going to leave this time.

Harry fell asleep and Severus remained by the bed, holding his hand.

_Harry was sitting in a beautiful garden surrounded by flowers of every kind. They towered over him and permeated the air with the sweetest fragrances Harry had ever smelled. He wasn't sure how he'd arrived here, but he knew he never wanted to leave – it was serene. Then he heard someone walking towards him, and then he heard a voice._

_"Hello, I didn't think anyone else knew about this place. Have you come here before?"_

_"No, I'm not sure how I got here. May I ask what your name is?"_

_"My name is William. What's your name?"_

_"Hi, William, my name is Harry."_

_"It will be nice to have someone to talk to. I was certain this place was forever mine. I'm glad you're here. Why are you here?"_

_"Last thing I remember is falling asleep, and here I am. What is this place, William? Everything seems so much larger than life. It's too beautiful to be real."_

_"Yes, it is, isn't it? It's the only place I can find comfort. When things get to be too much, I seem to end up here, although I don't know how. You and I can be friends now. I have always wanted a friend."_

_"I would like us to be friends, William, but we must promise each other that we will never leave each other. I can't lose anyone else."_

_"Neither can I."_

_The two boys walked through the meadow, sat down by a beautiful stream, and watched the current carrying logs and fish downstream. William looked at Harry and began asking questions._

_"You said you couldn't lose anyone else. Who were you referring to?"_

_"Well, my parents were killed when I was a baby, and then my godfather was murdered this morning. Who were you talking about?"_

_"My family — mom, dad, brother and two sisters -- all murdered in front of me."_

_"That's horrible. Does this place help you?"_

_"It's the only place I can find peace. When I'm here, everything is okay and I can carry on as if nothing bad ever happened. You will find that it will do the same for you. I just can't believe that in all these years, you are the only person I have seen here."_

_"How long have you been coming to this place, William?"_

_"Almost twenty years. At first, I only came here occasionally, maybe once a month, but soon it became once a week, and for a while, it was every day. Now I come when I need to. You are welcome to join me anytime, Harry."_

_"Do you have any other family, William?"_

_"I don't have any true family as in being related to one another, but I do have someone who I consider my family — I guess he is a father-figure to me. What about you?"_

_"No, all of my family is gone now; my father-figure was my godfather, and now since he's gone, well, it's just me. I think I should be going, but I'll come back and see you again soon. Bye, William."_

_"Bye, Harry."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Harry, dressed in his school uniform, as he had no other dress clothes that fit, sat in between the Headmaster and Snape, his hands tightly wound in his lap, staring unblinkingly at the caskets in front of him as some old man, someone whom he'd never seen before, spoke about how brave Aurors' Black and Lupin had been. Brave? Harry could care less how brave his godfather had been. All that mattered to him was that Sirius was dead, and he wasn't ever coming back. What good had being brave done him? Part of Harry was so angry at Sirius; how could he have been so careless?

As the old man, who looked a few hundred years older than Dumbledore, droned on about honour and obligation, a dazed Harry looked beside him and glanced at Snape, who looked bored and disinterested, exactly the way Harry thought he should. Snape probably couldn't wait to leave. Yes, he had helped Harry earlier, but he was a teacher; he'd had to help his student, hadn't he? But, odd as it was, Harry'd felt safe with Snape, and when he'd left, on Dumbledore's orders, Harry had felt the loss. Poppy had smiled at him and told him to get some sleep, but all Harry'd wanted was to feel safe again, which included having Snape stay with him. Yes, it had been completely barking mad at the time to think that way, and it was no different now, but it was what it was, and Harry accepted it: Nothing in his life had ever been normal, so why should this situation be any different?

When the pallbearers carried Sirius's casket down the aisle, the up-until-then quiet-as-a-mouse Harry couldn't help the sob that escaped. He hated showing emotion, but when Snape glanced at him, a somewhat muted glare on his face, Harry couldn't be bothered to try and hide the tear that fell. If Snape thought he was weak, then so be it. Harry didn't care. What he did care about, however, was his need to get out of this depressing atmosphere: he'd never been to a funeral before and he never wanted to attend another. He'd rather have a root canal without anesthetic, something his cousin used to tease him about when they were younger, than attend another funeral. He stood and followed, not at all certain of where he was going, but unwilling to stay where he was.

Severus rose to follow, but was gently pushed back into his seat by Albus.

"He needs to be alone, Severus," whispered Albus, his eyes looking sadly back at Harry, whose head was down as he followed the casket out of the room.

A brooding Severus remained seated until the service was over, looking as if he had lost something. Perhaps he had. His somber, black eyes stared ahead, much the same as Harry had done, and his hands shook. It was rare that anyone glimpsed this side of Severus, and everyone who saw him had to be instantly aware that something had changed within the dour man, but they had no idea what, and it was best that way. If they knew…

"Severus, would you please meet me in my office in thirty minutes? I have some things to discuss with you," Albus asked when the funeral was over. He tried his best to look chipper, but the situation being as it were, he didn't quite succeed. Still, he needed to do something to cheer Severus up… well, perhaps cheer up wasn't the correct word, but he didn't like seeing his former student so upset. Yes: teacher, adult, Head of House – none of those titles would ever replace the one of student in Albus's eyes. Severus Snape would forever be his student, for good or bad, and Albus felt responsible for him.

"Yes, Headmaster. I will be there," was Severus's reply, none of his usual gruffness present as he spoke, but every bit of that uncertainty that had plagued him for most of his life was indeed so very easy to see and hear.

After Albus's curt nod, Severus turned away and swept out of the room. He hadn't been told the events that led to Black's and Lupin's being killed; this was more than likely what the Headmaster would tell him, as well as why Harry wasn't returning to Privet Drive. That fact hadn't exactly upset Severus; in fact, it had thrilled him, but he didn't understand, and he needed to.

**~*~**

Albus made his way to the Astronomy Tower where he knew Harry had headed after the funeral. He knew that Harry wouldn't want to talk with him, and he felt great sorrow for the young man whom the wizarding world looked upon with such high expectations. He knew of Harry's unhappiness; he'd known since the beginning of fifth year. Perhaps his greatest failure had been his unwillingness to share his suspicions with Severus. So many things would have been different.

When a somewhat sickly looking Harry had returned to school following the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Albus hadn't been able to ignore the signs that something was different about Harry: He had changed in so many ways, and Albus's attempts to talk with him had been unsuccessful. Harry had only retreated further.

When things hadn't improved by the following year when Harry returned to Hogwarts, Albus had finally contacted Arabella Figg to see if perhaps she could shed some light on the situation. She insisted that as far as she knew, Harry had led a happy and normal life with the Dursleys; this was no different than any of her other reports to the Headmaster.

He had trusted Arabella, and that is what had bothered him; he'd known Harry was different, and Arabella should have been aware of the changes as well. It was then that Albus had begun to fear that Arabella had been found out as Harry's guardian, and that Voldemort was using her for his own purposes. Albus hadn't any idea how Voldemort could have gotten to her, but what he did know was that after Voldemort's failure to kill Harry as an infant, he would not act again until he was certain of the end-result – he had failed once, and wouldn't allow that to happen again. Gaining the services of Harry's guardian would certainly help him on his way to getting closer to Harry.

**~*~**

Harry lay on his back looking up at the stars. Whenever he felt confused or lonely, this was the one place he could come and find some peace, and occasionally, answers to his problems. Now he only sought out the solitude that being in the tower could offer him. There was so much for him to face and deal with. Decisions would have to be made regarding him. He was tired of being the cause of so much pain; in his mind, it all came back to him. Because of him, lives had been needlessly lost.

What he failed to think about was how many lives had been saved because of him – how many lives had been saved when he, as a baby, deflected the killing curse back to Voldemort – nevertheless, one death caused by him was too many, and nothing else mattered.

Realizing that he had been away for a rather long time, and that soon others would be looking for him, Harry reluctantly sat up and stood, then turned to descend the stairs, and met the blue eyes of the Headmaster. As he had thought, his absence had been noticed. Pity, that. "No need to worry, I'll be fine; I just needed some time to myself. No need to worry about me," he repeated, seeing how sad Dumbledore looked.

"Well, Harry, we are worried; you have suffered a great loss today. In the coming days, you and I will be meeting to discuss your new living arrangements, but for now, I want to make sure you are going to be okay. Always know that there are people here who care for you, and please remember we all want what is best for you."

About all Harry could manage was a nod. He wanted to be left alone again. "Yes, sir. I am tired, Professor, Will you show me where my room is?"

As expected, Harry wasn't going to make it easy. Albus understood, but he would need Harry to talk at some point, and it was for his own good. It was never good to keep emotions bottled up. There was someone several floors below that proved that point over and over. "Certainly, Harry. Your things have already been moved to your rooms. We decided you would be most comfortable in the dungeons. You will be near Professor Snape if you need anything."

Harry nodded and began to follow Dumbledore, who somehow made a trip that would usually take several minutes, seem like one, and before Harry could blink, it seemed he was standing at the entrance to his rooms. In anticipation of his bed, he yawned.

"The password to enter your rooms is _Carpe Diem_, Harry. You may change it if you like. Just tell the snake on the door what the password is and it will let you in. This room has been charmed so that only you, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, and I can enter after giving the password. If you change it, please let us know. If you have no further questions for me, young Harry, I believe my bed is calling me."

Harry allowed a small grin to escape. Dumbledore was trying, and it wasn't his fault that his student's world was falling apart. "The password is fine, Professor, and I have no questions. Thank you for everything." The Headmaster wished him a good night, then turned to leave, but then turned back.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that breakfast is at the usual time if you wish to join us in the Great Hall; otherwise, you may order from the kitchens. I think a certain house-elf would be more than happy to see you." With that, the Headmaster left.

Harry entered his rooms; he was exhausted and only wanted to fall into bed. He thought he probably should've asked Professor Snape for some Dreamless Sleep. If he ever needed it, this was one of those times. He was too tired to even look around. He found the bedroom, the bed, and within a minute, he was in it and ready for sleep. As he took off his glasses and went to place them on the bedside table, he found a phial of Dreamless Sleep_,_ and a note:

_Harry,_

_I thought you could use this and a good night's sleep. If you need anything, anything at all, please do not hesitate to come see me. My rooms are two doors down from yours, and my password is Little Snake. See you tomorrow._

_SS_

Harry downed the contents of the phial and the effects were almost instantaneous. He fell into a deep sleep, the kind he hadn't experienced in a good while.

**~*~**

Albus found Severus waiting for him at the gargoyle. "Harry has gone to bed. I am guessing you have made sure he will sleep soundly?"

Severus nodded. "I placed a phial by his bed," was his rather droll reply.

Did Albus know Severus well? He probably knew him better than anyone. A fleeting upturn of the lips graced Severus's face, but it was gone and replaced with another frown within a second. Still, it had been a pleasant sight to see. Albus hadn't many unfulfilled goals in his life, but one of them was to see Severus happy. It didn't seem to be in the cards for that to happen, but each smile, no matter how small, proved to Albus that there wasn't complete misery hidden behind those dark eyes. "I believe you and I have some things to discuss now." The two entered the office and Severus took his usual seat as Albus took his place behind the desk. The Headmaster then proceeded to tell the Slytherin Head of House what exactly happened when Sirius and Remus were killed.

When Albus mentioned that Harry's aunt, uncle, and cousin had also been killed, Severus was perplexed. He'd understood Harry's reactions to Black's death, but he was amazed that the Gryffindor had held up as well as he had considering everything that had just been told to him. Harry hadn't said anything about his relatives being killed. It was curious, but... there was that nagging feeling again, the one that had never left Severus for the past fifteen years. Perhaps all hadn't been as it had seemed; just maybe he had been right and everyone else had been wrong. The thought was nothing short of devastating, and Severus thought he might be sick if he found out he had in fact been right.

Before he could voice his thoughts, Albus removed his spectacles and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He looked so very tired, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He didn't, but he did have a lot of responsibility, more so now with Harry.

"Sometimes I think we do not give our young people enough credit, Severus," said Albus rather matter-of-factly as he gave a curt nod. "At times, they are far more intuitive than we are," Albus added as he replaced his glasses and gave Severus another nod. "I am very sorry to say that I have my suspicions that all was not as we thought it to be concerning Harry's upbringing with his relatives." Regret was heard in each word, and blue eyes now looked dull as Albus sighed and mouthed the words: you were right.

No. Severus began to shake. So he had been right all those years ago. A momentary surge of anger towards Albus came over him, and while he remained unchanged on the outside, he felt as his stomach fell. Oh how he had hoped to never hear those words. He had trusted Albus; he'd hoped so very much to be proved wrong. He watched Albus open his mouth to speak again, and had a moment of panic; he couldn't stand here and listen to this. How dare Albus! How could he have let this happen?

"…Certainly, you must have noticed him changing over the past two years, not only physically, but emotionally. He has slowly shut down and I have seen him distance himself from Mr Weasley and Miss Granger. I think we were all aware that he was not particularly fond of his relatives, but Harry never let on that anything more serious was going on. Harry has become almost as experienced as you, Severus, in wearing a mask."

Severus thought for a moment before responding. He tried to keep his voice calm, but knew it was a rather futile attempt "Tell me that Harry was not abused, Albus. That is impossible. What about Arabella—"

"It is only a theory, mind you," said the Headmaster as he once again removed his spectacles then replaced them so that they sat on the bridge of his overly-crooked nose, "but I think Arabella must have been rendered useless when it came to Mr Potter's safety. That is the only explanation. I think we both know who is behind whatever happened. I have no proof of this, of course, but nothing else makes sense, Severus."

There were so many other questions, but Severus knew most of them would never be answered, because. well, Albus knew exactly whom he was speaking with. "Headmaster, are you telling me that for almost sixteen years Harry has been left with those people with no real supervision on our part? I've seen the changes in him – it's impossible for me not to know those signs – but I never thought it could be happening to Harry; it never entered my mind because I knew Arabella would have alerted us to anything sinister happening. I guess I was mistaken. I knew nothing good could come of Harry being raised by Petunia," he finished, anger building within. This couldn't be true.

Severus didn't waste any time making his way to his rooms when he was dismissed a few minutes later. He was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but he had so many thoughts going through his mind: The only way he would be getting sleep tonight would be if he took Dreamless Sleep. Yes, that is what he would do; he needed to be fully rested for the upcoming day.

Looking back on the day's events, Severus longed for his previous problems. If he only had to worry about the cold demeanor that he wore for his students; if he only had to fret over Harry, and his recent new-found feelings for him, he could cope. Both of those things in themselves were intangible. Those things, Severus could deal with. This, however – dealing with a present that reminded him of his past – was as tangible as anything the Potions master had ever physically touched.

**~*~**

_"Master, you called?"_

_"Yes, Lucius, my faithful servant. I have an assignment for you and Wormtail to complete before dawn. As you know, Potter was not at his relatives' house. He has once again evaded my clutches, but not for long. Of course, he will be at Hogwarts by now, out of my reach, but I will have something that our Mr Potter will be wanting back, very soon. In the mean time, I think a visit to his little Mudblood girlfriend, the Granger girl, is in order. Potter has not lost everyone he loves, yet! I do not care what you do, but make sure she and her parents do not live to see the light of day. Now go… NOW!"_

Harry awoke, perspiration soaking his nightshirt. He sat up, wide-eyed, and let out a brief, blood-curdling scream. He prepared to repeat it but then closed his mouth and looked around him, even as it was completely dark: He didn't want to wake anyone, but he had to go tell Dumbledore what he'd seen in the vision – the vision he shouldn't have seen since he'd taken the Dreamless Sleep, but he thought he remembered Snape telling them in one of their lessons that Dreamless Sleep might not work if it were not a dream that someone was having. Or was he making things up? Regardless, he had seen the vision, and thank Merlin for that! As horrible as it had been, it might save lives.

As he was about to get out of the bed, he heard someone running through the room outside his bedroom, and before he could get to his wand, Snape was by his side, a harried look on his face. What was he doing here?

"Harry, what is it?"

Stunned for many different reasons, Harry opened his mouth, but the words wouldn't come. He tried twice before he could speak. Snape continued to look at him with that worried expression on his face, and Harry had a sudden realization: This was the person who had written those words about Harry. This was the man who had said he... well, Harry couldn't even think about what the words had meant; it was too ghastly to think about. Those thoughts aside, Harry's face morphed into another frown as a new surge of fear trickled through him. Hermione. Harry's breath sped up. He couldn't lose her. "Vision. I had a vision of Voldemort… Lucius… Wormtail… Hermione," Harry said, trembling so violently that he could barely speak. He watched in disbelief as Snape sat on the bed. This was becoming more surreal with each passing second, and Harry didn't know whether to laugh or cry: laugh because Severus Snape was calming him, or cry because he was scared to death that he was about to lose his best friend.

It was easy to ascertain that Harry wasn't far away from hyperventilating, and Severus needed to make certain that didn't happen. He knew that whatever Harry had seen was a vision of something having to do with the Dark Lord and what the bastard was either doing or planning, and he needed to get Harry to calm down so he could get more details. "Look at me, Harry. You need to tell me exactly what you heard and saw, okay? It is very important," he finished, more harshly than he had meant. Wide-eyed, green iris's looked at him with fear, and Severus cursed under his breath. He needed to work on his bedside manner.

A minute or two later Harry began to breathe regularly again, then he began to speak. "Voldemort Summoned Lucius and told him that he and Wormtail were being sent to Hermione's house to kill her and her parents. He told them to make sure they were dead," Harry said, in one breath, his voice rather flat, as if void of emotion. This couldn't happen. If anything happened to Hermione...

Severus nodded, then stood. "I need to fire-call the Headmaster. Breathe, Harry," he added as he turned to leave the room. He was gratified when Harry nodded. Once in the sitting room. There was a pop and the head of Dumbledore floated in Harry's fire. "Headmaster, Harry had a vision: Lucius and Wormtail have been sent to Miss Granger's house."

"Oh my dear Merlin. Thank you, Severus. I will send Aurors and hope they get there in time. I will meet the two of you in Harry's room when I know something. Stay with him." With that, Dumbledore's head was gone.

Severus returned to a frightened Harry. "The Headmaster is sending Aurors as we speak. He will be joining us as soon as he knows anything." Severus thought he saw a nod, but it was difficult to know for sure since Harry continued to tremble, his arms wrapped around his body as he rocked back and forth like a child. It was disconcerting for Severus to witness, and it reminded him of a little boy who had done something similar, and the look on Harry's face was all-too familiar as well. Severus needed to leave; he couldn't stand watching Harry go through this – he looked about as devastated as Severus had looked that day when he had lost his family, and again when he had lost his best friends. But there was one major difference. Severus was older and wiser, and he wasn't leaving this time, no matter what anyone said to him.

"Not Hermione, too. he can't kill her. Why can't I be the one? That is who he wants, Professor. If anything happens to her I will never forgive myself," said Harry, his voice now steady, but soft as he wiped roughly at a tear that had fallen. Two gentle fingers lifted his chin so that his eyes met those of his professor. Harry attempted to look away but decided against that when he heard an exasperated sigh from Snape.

"None of this, Harry, is your fault. That creature has taken so much away from you. You are not to blame for any of it. You must believe me. I will not allow you to berate yourself."

Harry jerked his face away. "You weren't there, Snape, you didn't hear what else Voldemort had to say. Do you know why Hermione is being targeted? Because **He Did Not Get Me**. Yes, Professor, that is what I heard him say, loud and clear! He also said he would eventually have someone I would come after, and then he'd finally get me. So, now what do you think of me?"

Severus closed his eyes and asked for guidance. He was weary and exhausted and simply didn't know what he could possibly say to Harry. Worst of all, he was irritable, and couldn't afford to let Harry see him upset. "We should wait to hear from the Headmaster, Harry. I am sure he will be here shortly." A few minutes more passed and when Harry continued to look at Severus as if he had a horn growing out of his forehead, Severus stood and walked towards the door. "I know exactly what it feels like to lose everyone you love. I had to watch as my family were murdered in front of me. I have seen it, Harry. I have been through this, and I am damned if I let you go through it alone." Then Severus berated himself for his weak moment. He hadn't meant to say that. Yes, it was all true, but he still hadn't meant to say anything about it. But this was Harry, and Harry brought out so many emotions in Severus. It was one of those unexplainable things in life that Albus spoke about often.

Harry wasn't sure how to respond to Snape, but was spared when the door opened. He looked up pensively as the Headmaster entered, but couldn't tell by his expression if it was good or bad news. "Professor Dumbledore, what happened? Are Hermione and her parents okay?"

Albus sat in a chair that was near the bed and looked at Severus, expecting him to understand, then he began speaking softly. "Hermione is alive. She was put under quite a few curses, but she will recover. Her mother and father, however, were both killed, Harry. I am so sorry."

No. It couldn't be true. Harry shook his head, then looked at Snape, as if asking him to deny what Dumbledore had said. Receiving a dour look, he looked back at Dumbledore. Well wasn't this wonderful! So now two more had died in the pursuit of _Harry Potter_. How many more would there be? Harry thought that at any moment he might lose it; he felt out of control. He was so very angry. "**Get out… both of you just get out… everyone… everyone I love ends up dying, or being injured. Please, just get out. You don't want to be around me… you may be the next ones**," Harry half-screamed. He watched as Snape tried to touch his shoulder, and jerked away. "I said go. Just go. Both of you. Please." But he knew that he'd not be left alone, and that was for the best. He didn't trust himself.

Severus looked at Albus, asking for guidance. What should he do now? Albus mouthed to him that he was to stay, no matter what. Without a word, the Headmaster then left, and all Severus could do was stare at the door, sure that he could burn a hole through it with his glare. How could Dumbledore have left him alone with Harry? What was he to do? He sat in a chair by the bed and watched Harry turn away from him, and listened as the boy began to cry again. It was disconcerting and uncomfortable, and Severus felt bad for Harry that he had to do this in front of someone else, because he knew all too well how embarrassing it was to let someone else see you at such a weak moment. But, as Albus had told him many times, showing emotion wasn't weak – it was human. Severus tried to believe that, but the opposite had been practiced in his house growing up, so it was a bit difficult to accept another explanation. Eventually the sobs quieted and Harry's breathing evened out. Severus stood, walked to the other side of the bed and studied Harry's face. It was so unfair. All of this was so very unfair.

~*~

_"Crucio." You failed, my dear Lucius. Tell me, why was Miss Granger not disposed of properly?"_

Harry started screaming, rolled up into a ball, and began rocking back and forth.

_"Master, we killed her parents and were having some fun with the girl when Aurors Apparated suddenly."_

_"Did I tell you to have fun with the girl, Lucius? I told you to kill her. You wasted time, valuable time, time which we can never have back. Crucio."_

Severus watched helplessly as Harry's screams became louder and as he continued to thrash violently. He was rolling over and lashing out with his arms. Severus sat on the bed, took both of Harry's shoulders in his hands, and shook them as he called out to him. "Harry, wake up. It's going to be okay." Severus hated saying those words; he knew it wasn't okay. Harry was being tormented and there wasn't anything Severus could do to help him. "Come on, Harry. Wake up. Please, wake up."

After what seemed like endless minutes, Harry gasped and launched into Severus's open-arms and began sobbing uncontrollably as he tried to say what happened.

Severus Summoned a phial of the counter-potion to the Cruciatus and helped Harry get the contents down his throat, then he rubbed Harry's back and made soothing noises to help calm him. The potion soon took effect and Harry visibly relaxed, but it was evident that the curse had taken its toll on him: He looked to be in quite a bit of pain as he tried to open his mouth to speak. Severus shook his head. He needed to know if Harry had seen anything, but what Harry needed was sleep. "Try to sleep, Harry; I'll be here when you wake." Severus watched as Harry closed his eyes, then he soon saw the steady rise and fall of Harry's chest and knew he was asleep. _You bastard, you better let him sleep. I will kill you if it is the last thing I do._ Those were Severus's last thoughts as sleep claimed him as well.

**~*~**

_Dear Arthur_

_No Doubt you have heard about Harry's relatives by now. Harry will be remaining at Hogwarts for the remainder of the summer. He is not reacting well to the loss of Sirius; he has suffered a great trauma and I fear it will take him a long while to heal. I would normally request that Harry's friends be allowed to come visit him, but as you are aware, Miss Granger was injured by Death Eaters and her parents were killed. I fear for the safety of anyone close to Harry. We are all doing our best to convince him these deaths are not his fault, but it is difficult for him to believe this when he knows that Voldemort wants him._

_Fudge is still acting as if everything is as it should be, so I ask for your help. The Order meets again next Thursday, and we need to discuss our plan for Voldemort. It is time to end this reign of terror and to put our plan into action. Too many innocent lives have been lost and I will not allow our young Harry to be among them. Thank you and your family for your continued support of this mission. Please give Molly my love._

_Albus Dumbledor_

Albus rolled up the parchment and sent the letter off with his owl.

Arthur Weasley was one of a handful of Ministry officials who were actively working to bring Voldemort down. The others had taken Fudge's word that Voldemort could not possibly have come back. Albus would have felt sorry for these people if he had time. As it was, almost every minute of his day found him talking to Aurors, training them, and getting briefings from his contacts, one of which was undercover in America... The Colonies… the United States… North America... to Albus, it might as well be another world, one that he dreamed of, but knew that he'd never see.

It was in this far-away place that he'd sent Hagrid to pose as his fellow staff member, Severus Snape. The plan had been an ingenious one, fraught with the potential for disaster, but a last resort as it were. Hagrid had volunteered, and after much begging, had been given this most important assignment.

Snape was no longer a spy, and Voldemort didn't trust him, at all, but the Potions master had been trying to get back in the inner-circle, as futile as the attempt seemed. The Dark Lord wanted irrefutable proof that his former Death Eater and spy was loyal to his side, which was laughable. How could he ever think that Severus could really be on his side when someone had already said he was a spy not even a year earlier? It was probable that Voldemort would never truly trust Snape again, but fortunately Severus did hold a rather huge trump card — he was the most accomplished potions maker in all of Europe, one whom Voldemort needed desperately. Desperate times and all...

When Voldemort had asked Severus to train his American Death Eaters in potion making, it had been decided that Hagrid would pose as Severus once Summer holidays began. Severus had reluctantly given Hagrid a potion that would give him his potion making abilities as well as any other knowledge that he would need to pull the operation off. He'd had grave misgivings, and had told Albus, but the Headmaster had insisted that this was their best chance to get Severus back into the fray as it were. Yes, so many things could go wrong, and more people could end up dead, but Albus had a feeling that all would end well, and one of the benefits of the current situation was that no one suspected Severus of being at Hogwarts. He still had to remain on the grounds, but he was not always looking over his shoulder. Very few people, outside of Hogwarts, knew the location of the real Severus Snape, so he was free to do as he pleased, which at the moment, seemed to be caring for Harry Potter.

Albus grinned as he donned his dressing gown a few minutes later. The more things changed, the more they remained the same.

Little did Albus or anyone else know how very true that thought would end up being.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

When Harry and Severus went down to join the Headmaster for breakfast Monday morning, Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall were the only other staff-members present. Pomfrey looked as she always did: happy and motherly; she inquired how Harry was feeling, and insisted that he get plenty of rest. McGonagall, on the other hand, seemed preoccupied, and didn't say a lot to Harry, which seemed odd, but perhaps she was merely tired.

As soon as the food appeared, Harry began eating as if he hadn't eaten in a week. The only proper food he'd had over the past two days was pumpkin juice and sandwiches that Snape had made him eat. Taking a bite of egg, he could feel eyes on him, and when he looked up to see whose they were, he wasn't surprised to see that they were Snape's.

Snape hadn't left Harry alone much at all since the events two nights earlier, and as disturbing as that thought should be, it wasn't, or at least it wasn't as much as it had been. The more time spent in Snape's company, the more Harry wanted to get to know him. He still didn't understand it, and he had asked Dumbledore about Snape the previous day, wanting to perhaps find out some insight into the man who seemed to have taken up residence in Harry's mind these past few days. He had also asked Dumbledore why his magic seemed to still be so wonky – it had been giving him problems for the past several months, and it was frustrating, especially now, with this latest magical deficit he seemed to have acquired. Why did everything have to happen to him? Dumbledore had said he'd do some research into it, and he had also said that Harry should be thankful that Severus Snape had helped him, and that he was probably the best person for the job. He had left it at that, and Harry'd been dismissed. More questions had been raised than answers, but with Dumbledore, that was nothing new.

Harry tried to look away but found he couldn't, well he could, but he didn't want to; it was that feeling again of him being pulled towards Snape. Was Harry going mad? He very well could be. Snape continued to stare at him, and it was quite discomforting. What was he thinking? Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know, but yes, he did. "What?" Harry finally asked, unable to hold in his frustration any longer.

"I'm glad to see you have an appetite this morning, Potter," was the curt reply Snape gave him before he returned his attention to his own food.

Harry's eyes widened and he felt his hands as they began to shake. He set down his fork and forced himself to turn away. Snape had called him Potter. It shouldn't matter, and Harry knew that, but it did, very much. Harry quickly tried to regain his composure: No one, save the Headmaster, of course, noticed this terse exchange. Harry once again picked up his fork and moved around the food on his plate. It had been inevitable that things would return to how they'd been before – Harry had known that – but he'd hoped that perhaps things had changed. He shouldn't have got his hopes up; that had never served him well before, so why should it be any different now?

"…your strength should begin returning. Madam Pomfrey has asked me to make you a strengthening potion to help supplement your strength until you regain all of your magic."

Not too sure he could speak to Snape, without his voice shaking, Harry took a few breaths. "Thank you," was about all he could manage. "I've had enough, may I be excused?" he asked as he turned towards Dumbledore, who was conversing with McGonagall, who still looked pensive. Harry wondered if she were ill.

"You hardly touched your food, Harry, but yes, you are free to go. You do not need permission to come or go," replied Dumbledore before he returned his attention to McGonagall.

Harry glanced over at Snape, and caught the black eyes again studying him.

The Headmaster cleared his throat. "I almost forgot, Harry. I have some business to attend to this morning, but would you meet me in my study an hour before lunch? There are a few matters we need to discuss."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, dispiritedly, before leaving for his rooms, feeling as if he were quickly spiraling out of control. He'd felt so much better as he and Snape had walked to the Great Hall: the prior forty-eight hours had been chaotic and emotional, and he hadn't been able to cope, but with Snape's help, he felt as he were improving, as slight as it was. While it would take time for him to accept his godfather's death, he knew he had to go on; that is what Sirius would have wanted. Snape had been correct when he told Harry none of this was his fault, even if it was difficult to believe. But now Harry felt as if it were his fault, and he needed Snape to tell him it wasn't. It was so very odd, and this obsession with Snape was quickly driving him mad. But, he knew that it had to do with the journal entry. If not for that, then none of these feelings would be happening. It was just Harry's luck that Severus Snape would express interest in a student through a journal, and it was just Harry's luck that he seemed to continue to be a burden to others. He had been passed around, and that seemed to be continuing now. It wasn't fair. He was old enough to care for himself; others had done enough for him.

**~*~**

"Severus, did Harry sleep well last night?"

"I think so, yes, but only after being subjected to the Cruciatus again. It seems that Lucius's punishment for his inability to kill Miss Granger the previous night continued throughout much of last night. Harry woke up screaming and thrashing about. It took me a long while to calm him, but after I gave him the potion, he relaxed somewhat and tried to tell me what happened. He eventually fell into a restful sleep that lasted until about an hour ago. When he woke, he was in a good mood, yet something in him changed from then to now. The person who just left this hall is not the one whom I entered with. I know that it will take time, but he seemed to be happy." The Headmaster gave Severus a questioning look that frustrated him. "What?" Couldn't the man ever be transparent? Severus almost laughed aloud: The day Albus Dumbledore became transparent would be the day Neville Longbottom became the hero of the wizarding world.

"Oh I have no doubt that Harry still needs help, Severus, and yes, it will take time, but I do believe he is on the mend. What you saw as a different Harry leaving a few moments ago is actually just someone who found and lost a friend, or so he thinks."

Severus frowned. "What are you going on about, Headmaster?"

"Severus, you addressed him as Potter. Now under normal circumstances that would have been fine, even the expected address, but I dare say you and he have become quite close in the past forty-eight hours, would you not agree?"

Severus slowly nodded his head and sighed as he began to understand what the Headmaster was saying.

"He trusts you, Severus; he allowed you to see him at his weakest moment. I think he was just a little hurt when he heard you addressing him as you did. He is still extremely vulnerable and it will not take much for him to doubt himself. You obviously meant nothing by what you said, but Harry took it the wrong way, I'm afraid."

Severus berated himself. He was finding that it wasn't at all easy being the one to help someone else; he had no real practice, other than on his Slytherins, but for the most part, they required little coddling: Slytherins weren't easily coddled or helped, and they liked it that way. Harry, no matter what might have been said in the past, was every bit a Gryffindor, and he needed and wanted help, and Severus knew that he couldn't afford to mess this up. Harry's mental well-being could very well be in peril, and Severus wanted to help, not hurt, Harry. "I didn't realise what I had called him; it just came out that way. I need to go see him." Severus left the Great Hall without another word and headed towards his and Harry's rooms. He wanted to go see Harry immediately, but when he reached Harry's door and prepared to knock, he decided that Harry might need some time alone, so he reluctantly continued to his rooms, entered his sitting room, and sprawled out on his sofa to rest for a few minutes. He'd slept last night and this morning, but the long hours spent calming Harry had tired him a great deal more than he'd realised. Perhaps a few minutes' rest would give him renewed energy.

**~*~**

Harry had fallen asleep on the sofa and was having a dream about Quidditch — he was flying towards the Snitch and was just about to grasp it when out of nowhere Voldemort came and snatched it out of Harry's hand while laughing and taunting the boy._ "Hello, young Harry; today, the Snitch is mine, Slytherin wins! Tomorrow, you are mine, I win!"_

Harry fell onto the cold floor, breathing rapidly. A few seconds later, he heard a knock on his door and was sure he knew who it was, or at least who it had better be. He opened the door with his wand, and hoped it would work; these days, he could never be sure. "Come in, Professor." Harry grinned, but then hesitated, wondering which Snape this was going to be: the one from the weekend, or the one who called him Potter.

"You look like you just had a fight with a hippogriff, Harry." Snape said as he sat in a chair by the fireplace.

Not Potter? That was good. Harry felt somewhat better, but not much. "I had a nightmare. I was on my way to catch the Snitch when Voldemort took it and said, 'Today the Snitch is mine, Slytherin wins, tomorrow you are mine, I win.' Next thing I knew, I was on the floor." Thinking about it wasn't much better than the actual dream, and Harry shivered.

Severus's body stiffened. But no, there was no way the Dark Lord could get to Harry; he would be safe here at Hogwarts. "For the next week or two, perhaps you should take the Dreamless Sleep potion before you go to sleep. I recently made a large cauldron of it, and will bring you a week's supply."

Another positive sign, but still, that didn't mean much. Harry was determined not to get his hopes up again. "Thank you, Professor."

Snape nodded and looked pensively at Harry. "May I ask you some questions?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I guess."

Severus tried to decide how best to approach what he had to ask. "I am guessing now that you have had some sleep and are feeling better, you are probably wondering what happened to your Potions Professor to make him act as he has been these past few days, am I correct?" Although he had asked, Severus wasn't at all sure he wanted to hear Harry's response. He could see that Harry didn't look at all amused, and he wondered if he had completely messed up things forever by calling Harry 'Potter.'

There had to be a tactful way to answer, and Harry was determined to do so. Yes, of course, he had been curious as to why Snape had been acting as he had – how could he not have wondered? He and just about everyone else had all but loathed Severus Snape for years, and he hadn't had any love loss for any of them. So yeah, this change was fairly significant. But Harry wasn't now, nor had he ever been, stupid; he had known what and who Snape was, and at least part of why he acted as he did. "Not really. I knew the person you were in class wasn't the real you; I knew it was a mask. I needed help this weekend and you provided it, which was nice of you, Professor. I'm glad I was able to witness the true Potions master." Harry managed a satisfied smirk. Yes, that had been quite tactful, and he had managed to say it in a rather disinterested sort of way. He couldn't allow Snape to know how very much his help had meant.

Ah yes, Harry's mask was now up; Severus had wondered when that would happen, but he knew it wouldn't be up for long if he had anything to say about it, and he knew he did. That knowledge gave Severus a small bit of satisfaction, but in no way did it make him feel good, only protective in a way that he had felt once before. "Ah…but you are wrong about that, Harry. The person you see in class is indeed the true Potions master: Professor Snape. The person you have seen this weekend, see today, and will see for the remainder of the summer, is Severus, just Severus. Two completely different personalities, but one person, Harry. Sometimes even when I am Severus, I slip back into that other role. I try to keep the two separate, but sometimes, I fail." And again, Severus wondered why he felt the need to justify himself to Harry… it was such an odd, disconcerting feeling, and he'd been having those a lot as of late.

Harry could see the discomfiture, and nodded, but said nothing. He understood. He was Harry... just Harry, not the Boy-Who-Lived. There was a huge difference in how the world saw him and how he really was. So it was easy to understand what Snape was saying... difficult to accept, maybe, but not impossible. "I can understand that, I think," Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. Again, he needed to be calm and act as if Snape didn't matter much to him. If Snape or anyone else knew the truth, they'd be horrified. Harry cringed thinking of Ron's response: he'd be disgusted.

"I thought you might understand, and because of that, Harry, I think you should call me Severus. As I just told you, Professor Snape is not who I want to be at the moment." He preferred people not address him as Professor during the summer, and hearing Harry do so reminded him of how wrong his feelings for his student were. So having Harry call him Severus was for the best. Really, it was.

Well, that certainly was a surprise. Harry didn't quite know how to respond. He swallowed and took a breath, then cleared his throat. "Okay," was about all he could say. And this kept getting more and more odd as the days went on. But he couldn't deny that he was pleased. Perhaps he hadn't completely lost Severus yet, but he knew that could happen. It always did with him and those he cared about.

"You should probably go, Harry. You and the Headmaster will have many things to discuss in your meeting. After he and you are finished, you and I can talk, as some of the things we need to discuss are going to be what Professor Dumbledore is going to share with you."

Harry nodded, but was curious. What had that been about? Why did Severus need to talk to him? And why did did he now look worried? What was he not telling him? Harry swallowed. He had a bad feeling. What were he and Dumbledore going to discuss?

**~*~**

Albus had been going over what he would say to Harry, but he was having a difficult time deciding what to say and what to ask; he had to be so very careful. As had been proved years earlier, helping troubled students was a tricky business.

As he glanced at the parchment on his desk, he sighed, then picked it up. It had become brittle with age, and had yellowed, but its words were as clear as they had been the day they had been originally printed. Albus looked at the headline:

_W.S. Snape family killed by Death Eaters. Youngest son escapes death…_

The door opened. Albus looked up, shock evident on his face. "Ah, come in, Harry, and have a seat. Would you care for some tea, a sherbert lemon?" Albus said, still startled to see Harry appear without warning: Severus must have given him the password. Albus set down the article and stealthily moved another parchment so that it covered the yellowing parchment.

"No thank you," Harry replied, wondering what the article was about that the Headmaster seemed to want to hide. "If I may ask, sir, why did my magic abilities weaken the other day? Have you been able to find anything about why my magic has been acting so weird these past few months? Do you think there could be a connection?" Harry sat down and waited for an answer.

Careful to not be too obvious, Albus only allowed a slight grin. This was very serious, indeed, and he should have known that Harry'd want to skip the pleasantries. "I am afraid I have yet to find anything regarding your fluctuating magic, but I have a few other tomes yet to search. As far as your magical loss the other day, it was more than likely because of the shock. When your system went into shock, Harry, every ounce of strength that you had was used to keep your body functioning. As was mentioned to you when this happened, shock is normally confined to the Muggle population. When a Muggle goes into shock, their body shuts down until it can handle the stresses placed upon it. When wizards and witches go into shock, their magic is the last thing remaining to help them cope, thus it is used to compensate for the other losses. Magic is comprised of a very strong life-force, and when it has to be used, without someone facilitating it, the results can be severe. We regulate our magic constantly, Harry; we can use as little or as much as we deem necessary. When your body needed the magic, it took all of it, not leaving you with any reserves. Without your magical strengths, you were defenseless and weak. You not only had to regain your normal strength; you also had to regain all of your magic. Having the magic is the reason we in this world usually are immune from such maladies as shock, but it is also why it is more dangerous when it does occur in us. Do you understand what I am saying, Harry?"

Was the headmaster serious? Harry had to stifle a laugh. He was trying, but he hadn't understood everything the Headmaster had said. He thought he had the general idea, however. "I think so. Our magic allows us to handle more, so it takes more for us not be able to cope? And I used up my reserves when I reached my limit." Harry hoped that sounded good. Probably he had completely missed the point with his explanation, but he did think he understood.

"That is the general idea, yes. While I am not surprised you are recovering, it is very curious how quickly your magic has returned; in the cases of shock that I am aware of, it has taken weeks and, in most cases, months for magical abilities to be restored to full strength. Somehow, you have the ability to replenish your magic in a very short period-of-time, but I do not know how. It should be impossible, but as with many other things, you have proven the impossible possible. Now if we could only discover why your magic seems to not be working in the proper way. But I feel confident that we will find the answers we seek, Harry. This morning, Madam Pomfrey performed a charm on you that informs her of your magic levels, and an hour ago it showed you to be at ninety-percent, which is simply amazing. However, although I am quite happy that you seem to be doing much better magically and physically, that does not mean you are healed emotionally. How are you feeling, and the truth, please." Albus removed his spectacles, cleaned them with his robe, then returned them to perch on his nose as he returned his focus to Harry. This was the part of the conversation he dreaded, but there would be more that he dreaded even more.

By the tone of Dumbledore's voice, Harry knew he couldn't get anything past him, so he didn't even try to lie. Obviously, Severus had been talking to Dumbledore. Harry thought about mentioning this, because he didn't much like the idea of Severus talking to Dumbledore about things that he would rather not be shared, but he decided it was best not to say anything. "I don't know, really. It's all like a dream. I know it's real, but… just when I think things are getting a little better, it all comes up again and I can't deal with it. I'm so angry, but most of all I'm just sad."

"That is highly understandable, Harry. We all react differently to death. Until this weekend, no one close to you had died. I do not include your parents because you were too young to realise what was happening when they died. Your reaction to the death of your godfather was typical. Allowing your emotions to be released is the most important aspect of dealing with death. You are fortunate that something triggered your emotions. If you hadn't broken down when you did, your emotions would have continued to build and the results could have been most unpleasant. One of the major advantages, and disadvantage, of wizards, when it comes to stress, is that we can handle greater stresses because of our magic. However, when those stresses become too great, and if they are not allowed to be released, then the situation can become very serious, and can cause irreversible damage. So, as you should now understand, you were fortunate on two fronts: first, you were able to release your emotions, and secondly, you were able to recover from your shock with amazing speed. I aim to find out how that was possible, Harry; it is a mystery indeed."

Harry frowned at this reinforcement of what he already knew: he seemed to be an enigma to everyone – he always had been – as disconcerting as it was, however, he accepted it as just another facet of his odd life. "Professor Snape helped. He's the one who wouldn't allow me to blame myself, and he's the one who refused to leave me alone when I demanded he leave. Sorry I made you leave the other night."

Albus shook his head and glanced over at Fawkes, who had awakened. "You made me do no such thing, Harry. I had served my purpose and my presence was no longer necessary. I knew you were in capable hands. Professor Snape may not be our kindest teacher, but he certainly knows how to handle difficult situations." Those kindly blue eyes glimmered as the sunlight danced on his spectacles.

Yes, and Harry knew all-too-well that he was one of those difficult situations. "Sir?" he then asked, wanting to change the topic of conversation.

"Yes?"

"What will happen to Hermione?" The thought of her having to go live somewhere else, far away, made Harry uneasy. He didn't want to lose her.

"She will be living with her aunt and uncle in London. They have three children of their own, and Miss Granger has always been close to them. I spoke with her this morning. She asked me how you were doing, and I told her she should owl you, so you should expect a letter this afternoon. She did want me to tell you not to worry about her; she says she will be fine. Mr Weasley is also aware that you are here; his parents are most concerned about you and asked me to send their love. I wish it were possible to have both Miss Granger and Mr Weasley come visit you, but for reasons I am sure you are aware of, this would not be wise. However, I am sure that the three of you will be able to meet as you usually do in Diagon Alley the week before school begins in order to get your supplies. Having said that, Harry, you will find your movements outside of Hogwarts greatly restricted from now on. Any time you leave the grounds, which should be only to go into Diagon Alley, and possibly Hogsmeade, Professor Snape will accompany you."

It was no less than Harry had expected. "What will I do, Professor? I don't have any relatives who I can live with." Thank Merlin he was at Hogwarts for at least the next year; the thought of being shipped off to an orphanage was more than he could handle. As it was, that might still happen. Harry shuddered. How old did one have to be before they were considered an adult?

Albus rested his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "You are almost seventeen, and until you turn eighteen, you must be appointed a guardian. If it were safe, it is probable that Professor Snape would be appointed as such, but that cannot happen."

"But he's no longer a spy; why would it be unsafe for me to stay with him?" Harry knew precisely why, but he couldn't imagine anyone else being appointed as his guardian. Perhaps Hagrid could do it then... but Harry knew that wouldn't happen.

"Correct, Harry, Professor Snape is not currently spying. However, I will let you in on a little secret because I know you will not allow it to leave this room. Professor Snape is in the process of reinstating himself in Voldemort's inner-circle." Albus opened a large drawer as he continued speaking, withdrew a sheaf of parchment, and handed it to Harry. "Professor Snape has been doing extensive research over the past year and has compiled everything he has found in this notebook. This is your copy. Please review its contents, and if you have any questions, ask either of us. Now, getting back to why he cannot be your guardian: If he somehow manages to work himself back into Voldemort's confidences, we know he will be tested. If you were under his guardianship, that would put him at great risk, Harry. I will not place the two of you in a position where Voldemort could use the two of you against one another. You know that Professor Snape would never hand you over, and that would be all Voldemort would need to prove that Professor Snape was indeed a spy. Voldemort has to believe you are with someone who could not be coerced into handing you over. Harry, if you will agree, I truly believe Professor McGonagall should assume your guardianship. She has already agreed, and she would be here now if not for the fact that her sister arrived this morning."

He had no choice. Had he ever had a choice? Harry stood, tired of sitting, and walked to the window, then over to where Fawkes was. He smiled and ran his hands over Fawkes's feathers; he really was beautiful. "That will be fine, sir." Harry said as he turned his attention back towards Dumbledore. He knew these arrangements would work out, and he understood the reasons, but he was still disappointed that Severus couldn't be his guardian. He looked over towards the window when he heard an owl hoot. It looked so very free as it flew away from the castle, and Harry briefly wished that he and that owl could switch places. Dumbledore cleared his throat, and Harry returned his attention to him again, and noticed how very tired the old man looked. He had quite a bit to deal with, didn't he? Harry didn't envy him in the least.

"For the remainder of the summer, Harry, you will remain in your current rooms, but you will return to Gryffindor Tower once term begins. You will spend all holidays with Professor McGonagall, and before you ask, yes, you will still be able to talk with Professor Snape. He has already helped you far more than anyone else, and I aim to keep the two of you talking. For obvious reasons, however, once term begins, you must not let on that the two of you are anything other than enemies. No one, especially the Slytherins, must ever know the two of you are friendly. You will have a permanent room in Professor McGonagall's rooms, and per her request, each evening you will meet with her after supper. If you wish to speak with Professor Snape, you may do so at this time by way of the Floo. As long as you return to Gryffindor Tower by curfew and keep out of Mr Filch's path, you may spend as much time with Professor Snape as is needed. If Mr Filch catches you, you are on your own, I'm afraid, so utilize your father's Invisibility Cloak. Oh, and do understand, Harry, Professor Snape was being quite serious when he told you that the person you see now will end when term begins. I told him yesterday that he needed to tell you that. I am guessing he has?" After a nod from Harry, he continued. "It is hard for him to switch back and forth. The staff is aware of this, therefore it is not a great shock to see his sudden personality switch. You, however, are in for a great shock, I fear. Please keep this in mind. He will be there for you, but do not ask him to be more than he is."

All Harry could do was nod. What a completely bizarre conversation this was turning in to. Perhaps he was going mental; he wasn't sure he could deal with a Severus who was mean to him again, but he would have to. "Sir, I have gone through most of my life being ignored and looked upon as a freak. Having to deal with Professor Snape's personality change shouldn't be difficult." If only that were true. He hadn't much cared what his relatives thought of him, but he cared very much about what Severus thought about him. Mental... yes, Harry knew, without a doubt, that he was losing his mind.

"I see you are having difficulties accepting all of this, Harry. I understand that it is a lot to digest and that you have discovered many new things over the past few days. If you should ever need to speak to me about any of this, my study is always open to you. Now Harry, there is one other question I have for you and it will be difficult; I need to ask it, nonetheless. You have already mentioned how your relatives treated you, emotionally, but did they ever physically abuse you?"

Harry had once again turned his attention to Fawkes, but when he heard the words physical abuse, his head jerked towards Professor Dumbledore, and the look on his face must have spoken many more words than were needed, because Dumbledore nodded as he once again removed his spectacles and sighed deeply. Harry frowned. He hadn't wanted anyone to know.

"I am so sorry, Harry, we failed you."

Yes, well, Harry had thought as much a few times before, but he knew that it wasn't at all true. It had been his intention to never let anyone know, after all, but he had hoped that someone would guess. "No, Professor, none of you had any idea. How could you have?" His uncle had been so very careful when he bagan hitting Harry a few years earlier, and he'd never left any visible proof of what he had done, and Harry had been careful as well to not let on when he was at Hogwarts. For the past few years it had worked.

"That is just it, Harry, we should have known. Arabella Figg should have told us. She was your appointed guardian from the wizarding world. She and you had a magical link that should have informed her of any changes. No one is certain what happened, but in any case, the link was severed."

_No_. _Please don't let that be true_. Harry went numb. Had he never heard that there had been a chance that none of this would or could have happened, he would have been fine, but now he was hearing that it could have all been prevented or stopped. It was a rather harsh blow, and he didn't know what to think, but what he did know was that it had happened, and there was nothing to be done for it. He just had to move on as he always had. "Why did you ask if I had been abused, Professor?"

"I had speculated for some time that you were not doing well, Harry; I needed to confirm my suspicions. I knew when you returned to school after the Triwizard Tournament that you had changed. To be honest, however, it never occurred to me until you returned for your sixth year that you exhibited signs of physical abuse, but I still wasn't certain. When you found out about your relatives being killed, I could see the conflicting emotion on your face. There was sadness, but not the type of sadness one would expect. One never forgets the look. It was then that I suspected rather strongly that you had been physically abused."

Harry arched a brow. _One never forgets? What is he talking about? _"They will never hurt me again, sir. It's over with and I don't wish to dwell on it." Harry wasn't up to discussing this now, or ever.

Albus nodded his head solemnly. "As you wish, Harry. I do believe that is all I have for now. We will meet in here tomorrow morning at ten to sign your guardianship papers."

Knowing he had no choice, Harry nodded. "Thank you, sir, for everything."

Harry left behind a contemplative Headmaster. Albus picked up the parchment that he had been reading when Harry'd entered his study, and thought about a similar discussion he'd had twenty years earlier:

_"Come in, young Severus and have a seat. As I mentioned last evening, we have come to a decision about where you shall live now. If it is agreeable with you, your new guardian will be me. You will have a room in my set of rooms if you feel the need to get away from the students. You have been through a most difficult time, and I realise you might wish to be alone."_

_"That is agreeable, sir."_

_"The Ministry has completed the sweep of your family home, Severus, and as you had stated would be, nothing of a sinister nature was found regarding Death Eater activity. One of the Aurors did, however, find some items that have greatly concerned me. A Pensieve was found in the basement. Thinking that it might contain incriminating evidence regarding Death Eater activities, it was explored. To all of our horror, all of the memories stored were of you being hit, rather violently. We--"_

_"Please don't, sir."_

_"Severus, why have you never told anyone? We would have done something."_

_"No disrespect meant, sir, but what could you have done? I had two sisters and one brother, and do you know that they were never touched? Mum and Dad were so proud of them. I was no different from them, yet I never did receive their praise. Whenever something bad happened, I was blamed. All of this would have been easier to take if I understood why. My father and I were so alike, Headmaster. Our views on everything were so similar. My dad had such a good heart, but he was too trusting. My mother was the opposite and my brother and sisters took after her. It was a constant struggle – my parents always fighting. I alone carried the burden of my family's troubles. Even my father beat me occasionally. Then I came to Hogwarts and everything seemed to begin changing. My parents began getting along better, and my father become a spy for the Ministry. Most of all, I was away from the abuse, but, as all things do, my father's past mistakes caught up with him. You know the rest."_

_"I know even with all that you have been subjected to, Severus, that you loved your family very much. Your father did a courageous thing by becoming a spy. He and I worked closely together for the last few years. He never could accept the fact that he had taken the Dark Mark; he said it was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made."_

_"Marrying my mum would be the first – she is the reason he joined."_

_"I had guessed as much. No matter how your parents got into this situation, it does not excuse their behaviour towards you. I know you do not wish to discuss this. I will not force you to, but Severus, you need to talk to someone and get your feelings out. I have watched you grow from a scared boy into an intelligent young man during the past six years, but, for whatever reason, you have chosen to spend more of your time alone. I understand that you want your space, but when you do not allow others to get close to you, then slowly, you become distant. You are a bright young man, with an inviting future, Severus, and I do not want to see you become…"_

_"Like my parents."_

_"Yes, Severus. Please remember that I am always here if you need to talk, and the other staff-members have made it known that they will help you in any way they possibly can."_

_"Thank you, sir, for being my guardian. If you have nothing further to discuss with me, may I be excused?"_

_"Yes, you are excused, Severus. I will see you at dinner."_

_"Yes, sir."_

**~*~**

Harry didn't return to his rooms; instead, he made his way to the Astronomy Tower, where he made himself comfortable before opening the sheaf of parchment the Headmaster had given him. No reason had been given why he had received a copy, only that he should review its contents. The cover only had two words -- _Effusio Rederre_. Harry began to read, and his mind quickly became a whirlpool with all of these new thoughts and possibilities running through. He hadn't been given this information only to peruse the difficult text – the Headmaster obviously had plans that would include him. He spent the next couple of hours rereading and digesting the information.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard the sound of wings flapping through the air and looked up to see an owl landing near him. He took the parchment from the owl and told her to remain while he read the letter. He could tell from the handwriting that it was from Hermione.

_Dear Harry,_

_How are you? I cried when I heard about Snuffles and Professor Lupin. I am so sorry. Little did I know what would happen next; Mum and Dad did not suffer, and for that, I am thankful. I did not see his face, but I know Malfoy's father was one of them. I will be fine; I'm here with my cousins, and they are keeping me busy. The funeral is tomorrow morning. Professor Dumbledore said it was unsafe for you to leave Hogwarts. Please be careful, Harry. I can't lose you, too. Take care. Owl me and let me know how you are doing._

_Love, Hermione_

Harry took out what he needed from his bag so he could respond to Hermione's letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I am sorry about your parents. Lucius Malfoy and the other Death Eaters will not get away with this. They will pay. I'm so relieved that you are okay. I can't lose you, either. I'm doing okay. The teachers have helped me a lot. Professor Dumbledore said you, Ron, and I could still meet in Diagon Alley the week before school begins – can't wait to see the two of you. Take Care, Hermione._

_Harry_

He attached the parchment and sent the owl on her way. He felt bad about not being able to attend Hermione's parents' funeral, but at least he was able to owl her. Even as it had only been a few days since he last saw them, he missed his friends and couldn't wait to see them again. So much had happened since school had ended. Harry was different – he'd never view life the same, and now his two best friends were all he had. Harry decided to write Ron a quick note.

_Ron -_

_Hi. Professor Dumbledore told me he talked to you. I'm doing okay, but I wish you and Hermione could be here. I owled her. Since I can't go to the funeral, I had to at least talk to her. Have you seen or talked to her? Voldemort will pay. It makes me so angry, Ron. The teachers are helping me. I'll meet you and Hermione the week before school begins to get our school things. Please tell your family I'm doing fine, and not to worry. Take care._

_Harry_

Since he had already sent off the other owl, Harry made a trip to the Owlery, tied the parchment to Hedwig, and told her to take the letter to Ron. Then he made his way to his rooms... and to Severus. He needed to find out what Severus needed to talk to him about.

**~*~**

The Latin words _Effusio Reddere_ roughly translates to an upwelling of emotions being made void - emotionless.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

As the door closed, and Albus removed the empty teacup and tin of cookies from the chair where Severus had been sitting, he briefly wondered how his two favorite students would fair; they would be fine, no doubt. Yes, both had been through more than they should have, but they were resilient and would be more than able to get through their current trials. Albus only wished he knew what was bothering Severus; he had been quite upset about Harry. Albus had an idea that there was more to this story that he had yet to learn.

He sat at his desk and looked around at the various reference tomes which he had amassed: He was researching the effects of shock on wizards, as well as magical surges, trying to find something that might explain what had been happening to Harry, but he wasn't having any luck. His eye-lids felt heavy, and he knew he needed to have a lie down, but he felt as if he were getting close to the answers he sought, and the answers were so very important, because Harry was so very vital to the future of their world. Albus didn't want to believe that to be true, but from what he knew, it was a fact: Harry, for good or bad, was their hope, and if his magic continued to perform as it had been, then that was bad. The state of things as they were, Albus felt it his responsibility to find the answer to Harry's problem, which was rather difficult without knowing the problem. He pinched the bridge of his nose and pushed up his spectacles.

Harry had begun exhibiting signs of increased powers during the past nine months, as well as an increased inability to control his magic during that same period. Perhaps this most recent episode of his recovering so quickly was a result of these new powers. Surely, there had to be precedent for what was happening to Harry.

Albus looked up when he heard an owl fly past his window, but soon returned his attention to the several books on his desk. He had already looked through at least twelve. There were two tomes which had yet to be looked at. Albus Summoned the book farthest from him, "_Ancient Mysteries and Legends of Great Wizards and Witches_," and hoped that Merlin was looking kindly upon him, and that this would be where his answers would be found. The rare, ancient tome had been found in an abandoned castle in Romania a few weeks earlier and had been owled to the Ministry. Arthur, who'd been aware of Harry's fluctuating magic, had thought it might have some helpful information within so he had owled it to Albus, who now fervently hoped that he was about to find a solution to what ailed Harry.

A half hour later, as Albus was halfway through the tome, he turned the page, about ready to call it a day, when he read what appeared before him, and allowed a slight smile: he hoped that he had finally found the answer. If so, it was much more complicated than he could have imagined, but complicated was something he and everyone could deal with. It was the unknowns in life that presented the true challenges. He reread the information to be sure that his eyes had not failed him.

_Substringo Infinitio — In the year 1170, Borzod, one of the most powerful wizards known to have ever existed, began experiencing power surges, and his ability to control his magical abilities began to decrease. No one could understand why this was happening. He and many others began meticulously researching through every piece of information they could gather to try and figure this mystery out. During this time, Borzod fell in love with a witch, who was named Elza. As their relationship progressed, the wizard's powers increased, as well as his abilities to control them. Elza was powerful in her own right, and she soon discovered her powers increasing as well. Eventually the two were bonded, and their powers increased even further._

_It is said Borzod and Elza shared one mind, making it possible for them to act on the other's behalf. Since their time, only two other cases have been documented of this happening. In both cases, the effects of the two individuals after the second stage of Substringo Infinitio had begun, were much the same: increased powers, the ability to control environments, the ability to share each other's thoughts, resistance to severe illness, the ability to recover from ailments much quicker than normal..._

_It has been concluded that Borzod and Elza were born as soul-mates and, until they eventually began a relationship, they were not complete. Each had their separate soul, but possessed only half of it, the other half being possessed by the other. When the two joined, two souls were joined together…._

Albus didn't need to read further; his answer, it seemed, had been found. Harry's symptoms fit the documented ones listed, and the Headmaster now knew his intuition had not failed him.

_This is indeed very interesting, _he thought_. _A sly grin broke out. Who would have ever guessed? Albus knew that he would need to meet with Harry and Severus to discuss what he had found out, but for now he needed to deal with some of the other issues that being Headmaster of Hogwarts entailed, and having solved, or at least found the reason, for one problem, Albus felt a renewed burst of energy.

**~*~**

"My Lord, it is so good of you to come visit us and see our progress. I do believe a few more weeks of lessons will find you a suitable potions maker for your American division," said Hagrid, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Severus…you have pleased me. Lucius was wrong about you, my faithful servant. Continue this, and soon you may find yourself where you belong, by my side. I will call on you whenever I feel the need, Severus. Be there." Voldemort Disapparated.

Hagrid was about to faint. The sudden appearance of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had surprised and frightened him, but he'd known that he needed to remain calm. He'd passed this first test, but was certain there would be others, and he also remembered what Snape had told him: 'Just because the Dark Lord says he is pleased, means nothing. He knows I was a probable spy and he will forever remember that. He is using me now as much as I am using him. The thing is that he thinks he is smarter than me. We need to let him continue to think that way.'

Professor Snape had given Hagrid the knowledge to concoct a new potion, a highly dangerous one. Snape couldn't experiment with the ingredients at Hogwarts; he would take no chances with such volatile ingredients around students. If this potion worked, then Voldemort would meet his end very soon. Before that could happen, however, Harry had to be prepared. Voldemort had requested this very potion from Snape, to use against Harry, and now Snape and Harry would be using the potion against Voldemort. It would be a fitting end to the monster known as Voldemort.

**~*~**

Harry was lost in thought as he walked in the dungeons towards his rooms. He was about to give the password to his room when he heard footsteps approaching. He quickly pulled out his wand, turned in the direction of the sound, and saw Severus coming towards him, noticeably distraught.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, then felt quite stupid. Of course Severus wasn't okay. He watched him shake his head.

"I have been walking around outside, thinking. I talked with Professor Dumbledore earlier, and now you and I need to talk."

Alarms went off in Harry's head: He had known it was bad news. He opened his door, told Severus to have a seat, then went to get them tea. He returned a few minutes later and took a deep breath as he sat on the other side of the sofa, a bit surprised that Severus hadn't sat by the fireplace. Severus looked a million miles away. Harry cleared his throat; he needed to know what this was about.

Severus looked at Harry as if deciding what to say. "Voldemort seems to be trusting me again, and is going to be including me in more Death Eater activities. Due to this, the Headmaster thinks it time you were informed of what we have been planning for Voldemort," Severus said, his voice not much more than a whisper. He didn't want to have this discussion now. When the Headmaster had told him Harry needed to learn about everything as soon as possible, Severus had become noticeably upset.

_"Why does he have to be told now? He just found out his godfather was killed. Give him some time. We tell him that he should try to lead as much of a normal life as possible, and then what happens? We go and tell him he is going to be the deciding factor in the Dark Lord's death? It is not necessary. I know he has to know, but not now, Headmaster, not now."_

_"Severus, he needs to know what he is up against, and how can you say we have time? No one knows when the time is going to present itself. It is my responsibility to see that Harry is prepared for what is coming. I am sorry, Severus, but you must inform him today, or I will. Our young Harry is resilient and this will not set him back as you seem to think it will. If anything, it will give him something else to dwell on. I am also inclined to think him hearing this today might be just as well, because he has already had to face some other unpleasant memories. Once you have told him about the plan for Voldemort, I am hoping you can find out where he is, emotionally. You have heard all that took place earlier; I trust you to help him. The plan to do away with Voldemort is important for the wizarding world as a whole, Severus, but helping Harry deal with his problems is far more important; do not think that I have forgotten that. Harry is our number one priority. That being said, however, we cannot simply forget about Voldemort. Severus, I do see an end to this, and so do you. Young Harry sees it as well. It will happen, and he will be free, as will you…."_

If Albus only knew...

There was nothing to be done but to tell Harry, so Severus began speaking, and hoped Harry would have the decency not to interrupt. It hadn't been until Albus had talked to him earlier that Severus had fully realized what the actions they were about to take would mean, and the newly-acquired knowledge scared Severus worse than anything else ever had. He had been so very certain that he'd be able to keep his secret, but now it seemed that he wasn't going to be spared that embarrassment. It was a rather harsh blow, yet Severus felt no sadness for himself, only immense regret for Harry. No one should ever have to hear what Harry would soon hear. Severus closed his eyes and asked for Merlin's guidance. At least he could put off the actual admission for a bit longer. Not that it helped, but it was something.

After telling Harry about Hagrid and the potion, and about what all would have to take place, Severus stood up and began pacing. "So you see that once again it seems to fall on your shoulders. But, Harry, do not worry, I have thought this plan out thoroughly and all you will have to do is surprise the Dark Lord; leave the rest to me."

"I wish you would stop calling him that, Severus, Call him by his name. As far as what you told me, I'll do whatever is asked of me. Defeating Voldemort is all of our responsibility; do you think I would shirk that? Why are you so upset?" Harry was unsure if Severus knew that the Headmaster had given the information to him already. He had almost interrupted Severus to tell him he need not repeat everything, but Severus had looked so distraught that Harry had kept his mouth shut.

"Damn it, Harry, I am mad as hell. You do know what you have to do, don't you?" replied an exasperated Severus as he moved some hair out of his face. His hands were shaking.

Severus Snape: concerned about Harry Potter. It still seemed abnormal, and Harry took a second to let the worried look sink in. He hated that Severus was so upset, but it did him good to know that someone seemed to care about him. There hadn't been a lot of that in his life. "Look at me, Severus. I have been to hell and back. If a few more minutes living that will give us peace, than bring it on. Madam Pomfrey said I should be immune from the effects from too much shock. I can stand any emotion that he can conjure." Oh, but perhaps Severus didn't want to face his… because… now Harry began to understand why Severus seemed so very upset.

"Yes, you should, Harry, but if not, I am personally sending you to a life of eternal hell."

"Nope – won't happen. Remember, Severus, I am the _Boy Who Lived_! Can't get rid of me that easily." Harry needed to lighten the mood. He had to get Severus to calm down.

"Are you truly prepared, Harry? He will not leave any stone unturned. Your fears will feed him and he knows how to extract what he needs. Remember it is I who invented this potion; I know exactly what its effects are."

Harry stood and walked to the fireplace and turned to face Severus. "You want to know if I am prepared? Not now, but I will be. By the time I face Voldemort, there will be nothing left for him to extract. I'm ready, Severus; I'm ready to get all of my fears out in the open. It won't be easy, but I have lived the last six years of my life with that thing over my head. If there's any chance of getting rid of him for good, then I will do it. As I remember, you will probably be standing beside me when dear old Voldi meets his end. You're not exactly getting off easily here; are you prepared, Severus?"

Harry had no idea. Severus let a mirthless laugh escape. "Not even close, but just as you will be, so will I. It will be risky, though. You and I will first have to purge ourselves of our deepest fears, Harry. Of course there is no way to release all of our fears, but we must get the major ones out in the open. This is by far the riskiest thing I can recall anyone ever trying. Only Merlin himself knows how this will turn out. Regardless of what happens, you and I are in this together." Probably they'd end up dead, but yes, at least they would be together. Some consolation that would be to Harry. Severus was damned.

Harry smiled briefly and nodded. They could do this. "So now we get down to business, I guess. Severus, Dumbledore gave me a copy of the research you compiled. I have read it and digested all of it." Severus gave Harry a look that said he was impressed. "We can do this, Severus, but you're going to have to pull this out of me; it's not going to be easy to offer my life on a platter for you to see." Harry already felt as if he were not himself. Someone else was speaking. He found that he liked this feeling, however. He would never be able to do this alone. Perhaps it was Severus who was giving him the energy to go on... er yes, as if...

About all Severus could do was nod. He found that he did that a lot around Harry. "Harry, I am never going to force you to divulge anything you do not want to. Remember, you can say no — you are volunteering for this. If it gets to be too emotional, please let me know. I refuse to hurt you." Severus maintained a firm but calming voice. He knew how difficult the coming hours would be for Harry, and he was trying to be as calm as he could.

Harry shook his head and growled. Sometimes Severus really was exasperating. "First of all, you keep saying this is my choice. Nice try, there, Severus, but this is not a choice that I have. Even Dumbledore told me how important my role in this is. So please, spare me the theatrics. I am doing this whether you want me to or not, and while we are on the subject, I think you should know that I trust you with my life." When Harry finished, he waited for the inevitable reaction. He hadn't meant to get so sentimental, but it was true and he needed Severus to know that. Harry was appreciative that Severus would be with him on this mission, and the gratitude was visible on his face. He felt more comfortable with Severus than anyone else. Fate had such a way with how it threw people together, didn't it? Harry had an idea that one day he'd be telling his grandchildren how he and Severus Snape had become friends, and no one would believe him.

Severus could hear the confidence in Harry's voice, yet he wondered if the young wizard sitting beside him knew what he was up against. "From what you have read, Harry, I would be interested in knowing your interpretation of what is to happen, from the Dar— from Voldemort's standpoint," Severus ground out. He felt uncomfortable saying the name he had come to fear above all others, but Harry was right. He shouldn't give such power to a mere name.

Harry grinned. It was a small victory, but a victory, nonetheless. "First, I am given the potion by Voldemort, or you, as he will probably want you present for my demise. I'm guessing the potion will react immediately with my body, and my emotions will begin to surface. Whatever emotions come out will be fighting with one another, and eventually I'll go crazy from all of these conflicting thoughts. This should render me useless and unable to think properly. Then Voldemort will place my head over a container and recite an incantation, which will purge all of my emotions into said container, leaving me with no emotions, a shell of my former existence. No emotions and no life force. He can then do what he wants with me, as I will be all but lifeless. He could kill me instantly, or just let me rot away somewhere. Without emotions, I will only be a body." Harry smirked as he finished. Yes, what they were talking about was serious, but he wanted to prove that he did have a brain, and that he wasn't that resident-celebrity who thought he was above doing his homework.

Severus was impressed, but chose to ignore the smirk._ Cheeky brat_. "I am pleased you could understand my complex hypothesis. You have only had the information for perhaps two hours, and you have grasped the information and condensed it perfectly, a feat which is indeed impressive, Harry. Yes, That is what he thinks will happen. What he cannot know, and will not know, however, is that what we are about to do is only a preventative measure in case our potion gets switched, which it won't," Severus said rather forcefully. "He will also not know that you will have already purged your mind of all major emotions, and you will have taken an antidote to the potion he or I will give you. It will cause your body to mimic the appearance of emotions leaving your head. This antidote stays in your system for forty-eight hours; that gives us a large window to work with. When all of your emotions should have been contained, you will look like a robot; you will exhibit no feelings, no anything. He will then try to kill you. Voldemort will have disarmed you. However, he cannot disarm what he does not know. He will not stand a chance, Harry. That, I promise you. Voldemort will be dead, then you can get your memories of the fears you have back if you want them."

A gulp. As determined as he was, Harry wasn't a fool. He knew this was dangerous. So many things could go wrong. He began to feel perspiration on his hands, and took a deep breath. Severus was looking at him, worriedly, and Harry shook his head then closed his eyes. "I'm okay. It's just a lot to digest, is all."

"That is is, Harry." Severus knew they could avoid the inevitable for only so long. He wasn't at all looking forward to this. He recalled what the Headmaster and he had discussed earlier.

_"He reminds me so much of you, Severus. The look of pleading in his eyes is so prevalent. It scares me to think what would have happened if Harry hadn't been here when Sirius was murdered. However, he is here and you can help him deal with his emotions, as well as help him prepare to bring down Voldemort. You know what you have to do, Severus. Both you and Harry will be together when you face Voldemort, and he will use the two of you against each other, do not doubt that. The only way the two of you can successfully complete your mission is to expel all of your fears to one another. You know what I mean, anything that can give Voldemort energy. Your own words are coming back to me now – any fears extracted by this potion will be doubled in intensity when they unleash themselves upon their bearer. I know you understand the implications, Severus. I cannot emphasize this enough: You and Harry must be careful with this. If anything goes wrong, I do not wish to think on what would happen if the two of you have emotions surfacing, fighting to be released; it would not be pleasant. I say this not to scare you, only to prepare you. Now, while appearing to suffer the effects of the potion, that I have no doubt will work flawlessly, you and Harry will have to remain sharp and aware of your surroundings. Nothing is a sure thing, as you know. I do trust you with Harry, Severus, there is no one else who I would want to help him through this. You will do fine…."_

_Oh, Albus, if you only knew, _Severus thought. He would never approve of these feelings. Severus was damned, but there was nothing for it, so he squared his shoulders and prepared for the inevitable. Harry looked as if he had calmed considerably, which made Severus feel somewhat better, but not much. Harry looked at him, and Severus attempted to smile, but it was a rather poor imitation. Harry smiled back, however, and it was not at all fake. Finally, a small grin made its way to Severus's face, and he shook his head. Harry would be the death of him one way or another.

Harry felt confident and knew this would work. He only wished this next part of the process didn't have to be performed today. Why was it so important to do it now? Couldn't they do it tomorrow? He'd hoped to put it off for a few days, to give Severus more time, but then again, would more time be what was needed? Harry wasn't sure that time would help in this situation. Harry was worried; he knew that after today things would be different. Severus would have to admit his feelings for Harry, and that scared Harry, more than anything. He didn't want Severus to have to do that, but it was inevitable that it would have to happen. Severus would never do anything to put Harry in danger, and if that meant purging himself of his feelings and getting them out in the open, then Harry knew he would do so.

The journal had made it clear that Severus didn't think himself worthy of his feelings being returned, so by revealing his feelings, Harry knew that Severus would think he'd be putting Harry in an awkward situation. But Harry also knew that Severus would think that if he retained the knowledge and said nothing, then Voldemort could use that against Harry, thus putting his life in jeopardy. It was so very obvious what Severus would do. Harry looked at Severus, who seemed to be a million miles away.

"Severus?"

"Sorry, Harry. I guess I got caught up in my own thoughts."

"Care to share? We better get used to this anyway, I guess, seeing as how we both have to get our fears out. You have already been warned about how difficult it will be getting me to talk. I guess for you it is strange. For all we know, Voldemort won't give you the potion. You may go through all of this for nothing. It must be uncomfortable for you having to talk to me, a student, about your fears."

The very opposite, in fact. Severus couldn't believe it had all come to this. Yet, it was what it was, and he would face this like the adult he was. "Oh, I can assure you, Harry, he'll want me to take the potion, too, unless he gets self-absorbed in his quest to get you. Nevertheless, we must prepare as if it will be given to me as well. As far as you being a student and me having to share my thoughts with you, oddly enough, I am not reluctant in the least to do so, not after the last few days I have spent in your company. I could tell you anything, and you would listen to and understand what I was saying. It will indeed be uncomfortable, but you are the only person who I would want to talk to about this. If you are ready, I would prefer to get this over and done with, so I will begin. It is only fair I go first. Perhaps after I have my go, you will be more relaxed." Severus had to be very careful; his voice was beginning to tremble. He had every right to be nervous, but Harry deserved better. The last thing Severus wanted to happen was for Harry to hear what Severus said, but think that he really didn't feel that way because his body language was saying something completely different.

It was evident that Severus was nervous. Harry wanted to assure him that everything would be fine, but how in Merlin's name could he do that without revealing what he knew? He couldn't, and somehow he knew that this was one secret that Severus should probably never find out about. "Thank you, Severus, but I would like to go first and get this out of my system." He wanted to give Severus more time to think about what he would say.

Severus nodded. "You have my undivided attention, Harry, and remember, anytime you want to take a break, or if you cannot continue, let me know. Are you sure about this?" Harry nodded and gave Severus a slight smile as the older man leaned forward, giving Harry his undivided attention.

It was absolutely barking mad that less than three days ago Harry had absolutely abhorred the man that now sat a few feet away from him, and now the two were about to share a rather personal conversation, one that would have far-reaching consequences. When Harry had first read those words written by Severus, he had been confused and more than a bit revolted, to be quite honest. Now, a few days onward, however, he had found out a few things that had changed his mind.

It mightn't be the end of the world to have Severus Snape love him.

"Okay," Harry said, taking a deep breath and bringing his knees up to his chin and wrapping his already sweating hands around his legs_. You can do this, Harry. _Taking a deep breath, he began. "Here goes. I think the thing I fear most is not ever being loved or accepted. My aunt and uncle hated me and they always made me think I was worthless. I had to watch my cousin, Dudley, being showered with their attention and love while I received only their wrath and abuse. In the beginning, it was verbal, always demeaning my every move. Then Uncle Vernon began beating me and the abuse escalated from there. Oddly enough, the physical pain was somewhat easier to take; words really do hurt. The beatings worsened until eventually I was confined to my room. I would pretend that someone was coming to rescue me – my white knight. I just kept telling myself to wait just a little longer." By this time, tears were streaming down Harry's face and he was shaking. "But there wasn't anyone coming, and I knew it. All I ever wanted was love. Look where that got me. Now I'm so bitter and cold inside. I don't even know how to feel anymore. Everyone I've ever loved has been taken away from me, so if that's what love is… I can't do it. If love means saying goodbye constantly, well I'm not strong enough. But that's what I crave, as well as fear, more than anything: love." Harry felt a bit awkward; that had been far more difficult than he'd thought it would be. He lowered his head.

Severus wanted to comfort Harry, but remained where he was, contemplating the best way to respond to what Harry had told him. "I have it on good authority that both Miss Granger and Mr Weasley are your best friends, are they not?"

Harry lifted his head and nodded. He was too upset to speak.

"I would venture to guess that they love you, Harry. Do you love them?"

"Yes, sir, I do."

"You see, Harry, you are not as cold and empty as you think. As long as you have love in your heart, you cannot grow cold. You are extremely fortunate to have two wonderful friends such as Hermione and Ron. However, I can fully understand what you are saying; friends are not quite the same as family. Love is not something I am very familiar with, but I can assure you that you were brought into this world surrounded by love. I remember when you were born, how proud your parents were. They doted on you so much. Sirius and Remus loved you just as much as your parents did. For your first year, you had the most wonderful life. You may not realise it, Harry, but all the love you received during that time has stayed with you. It will always remain with you; no one will ever be able to take it away. Never think that you are not loved, Harry."

Harry wanted to ask about his parents, but he had an idea that he'd not receive an answer, so he decided to wait until later. He was trying to get through this in a somewhat dignified manner, but the tears that had begun to fall, and the shaking voice and body were not helping him to achieve that. As much as he tried to act stoic, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and never leave. "But I don't know if I have it in me to love anyone. Why bother when they will leave me? Being closely associated with me isn't exactly a safe thing." His whining wasn't good, but that is all he seemed to do around Severus.

Severus was finding this much more difficult than he had expected. Harry really was as damaged as he was, wasn't he? That wasn't at all a pleasant thought and Severus wanted so badly to make Harry understand that he was lovable and that he was worth loving. "Well, I am certainly not one to be giving advice in this area, Harry, but I will say that when the time comes, you will know. None of us know how long we have to live, Harry; you cannot avoid love in order to avoid being hurt by loss. You will love again. You will have other friends, and future family members; yes, you will love again."

"I don't know, Severus. All people see is the scar; that is what I am to them — 'The Boy Who Lived', the boy who will one day defeat Voldemort. You know that as well as I do. How do I know who is interested in me, just Harry?" More whining, but by this time, Harry didn't care. There was no one else he could talk to about this. Not even Ron and Hermione. Harry knew that if Snape were willing to listen, then he would tell him everything; he needed to get it all out. It still felt really weird, but he was so far gone by now that it didn't even phase him that it was Severus Snape who he was talking to. It was as if he were just talking to another friend. A finger touched his hair, and Harry looked up and tried to smile. Severus removed his hand, but continued to look at Harry as if he really wanted to help him. Harry wanted that as well.

"For that, Harry, you use your intuition. Yes, people will always seek you out; you represent goodness to them, and in times such as these, people need guidance from whomever they admire. You have a good head on your shoulders, and if it is used wisely, you will be fine."

"But who would ever want to subject themselves to a life of being stuck with me? Somehow, I don't think it would be fair to ask anyone to do that." As soon as he said it Harry wished he hadn't. This was Severus Snape he was talking to: the same man whose words had said that he had strong feelings for Harry… feelings of love.

Severus hadn't moved much and had remained calm, but upon hearing Harry's last words, he stood and began pacing. He stopped after a few moments in front of Harry, knelt so his face was inches away from Harry's, and began speaking in a very soft voice, which was almost inaudible. "Never, ever, let me hear you say that again. You deserve happiness and love as much as anyone else. No two people are alike and each one of us has different needs. When you love someone, you help that person, and they will help you; give and take. If you truly believe what you just said, then you insult the person who would love you if you could let them."

Harry was close to breaking, and he was very well aware that Severus was giving away more than he intended with those words. The stress from losing his godfather, the loss of the only other home besides Hogwarts he had ever known, and knowing the one person who could love him was kneeling before him, all began to chip away at what resolve he had left. He fought valiantly to prevent the dam from breaking. He wasn't weak.

It was clear that Harry was seconds away from losing the battle with his emotions, and Severus wished to spare the young man. "Harry, perhaps we should end this for today. All of this has been too much for you. You are tense; this cannot be good for you. This can wait. We can talk about me tomorrow."

Harry shook his head emphatically. "No, if this stops now, I'm afraid we won't ever be able to come back. We have to do this now, or never, Severus." Harry hadn't meant to sound and look so distraught, but he was pleading with his eyes. This had to be finished today or there was a chance he would lose his nerve and not want to hear Severus say what he had to.

Severus sat down beside Harry and wiped the tears away as the younger man rested against his shoulder. He wanted to help Harry, not hurt him. "Okay, we shall finish this today," he said as he sat back and brought Harry with him. Harry rested his head against Severus's chest, and it was such a momentous happening. Severus felt so very protective of Harry and knew that he'd do anything for him. He ran his fingers through Harry's hair as he began to speak. "You mightn't believe this, but I do not have many fears, Harry. Oh yes, when I was younger, certainly, I feared much. No longer being a child, I have lost those fears. Now, having faced the devil and lived, I simply do not have the energy or want to fear. Having said that, the one thing I fear above all else is being alone. That has been a constant fear of mine, and it has always seemed to come to fruition. My family was murdered in front of me when I was about your age. I had not had a pleasant family life by any means of the imagination, but they were my family. When they were gone, I had no one. My life began to spin out of control and, before I realised it, I sold my soul to the devil. Then Professor Dumbledore took me under his tutelage. He gave me a new lease on life and gave me a second chance. Even with him believing and trusting in me, as he did and still does, I still have an empty space. After all I have done I deserve to have that space remain empty, but that reality frightens me more than I can say. I am afraid of being alone, of never knowing the love of another; of never loving…" Severus turned his head to face Harry and seemed to come out of his daze. "Harry, I need to tell you something, but I am having difficulty doing so." That was certainly an understatement.

"Do you want to take a short break or continue later, maybe tomorrow?" Harry didn't want to put this off, but, if Severus was having a difficult time, then Harry would wait as long as he needed to.

Then Severus had an idea. "Perhaps we should take a few minutes. I need to retrieve an item from my sitting room, but I will be back in about thirty minutes. Then we will continue."

Harry met Severus's eyes and nodded. "Yeah, okay, I need to get a snack, anyway."

Severus left Harry's rooms without any further words. Harry could sense the man was tense; of course, he knew the reason. He wasn't sure how or what he felt for Severus, but he knew with certainty that he wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to possibly find what he had been searching for his entire life, even if it was with a much older Severus Snape, the man he had not so long ago disliked vehemently.

**~*~**

Severus felt as if he were suffocating as he entered his sitting room; he couldn't catch his breath.

_Come on, Severus -- calm down. You can do this. Remember it is for Harry, all for Harry_.

After forcing his breathing to return to normal, Severus poured himself a glass of water and sat at the table in his kitchen.

He was the one who had insisted they continue this today, and he knew he would eventually be able to talk. This moment was not one of those times, however. Severus thought about the last few days and what had transpired between him and Harry. He thought about Harry's words to Sirius, and how he had looked at his godfather. He had seen the love in Harry's eyes, and it had hurt Severus, seeing this young man whom he was falling in love with, saying goodbye, but Harry had to have that opportunity, and Severus knew that. When Severus had taken Harry to see Sirius, he had done so because the Headmaster had told him Harry had asked to see him, but there had been another reason as well. Severus closed his eyes as he remembered that day so many years earlier:

_"Let me go, you bastards; let me see them. You cannot keep me here locked up; you cannot deny me the chance to say goodbye. Do you even care what happened? Of course, none of you would; you are all so self-righteous and think yourselves superior to me. I am surely not worth much, but you lot are just the same. If you think you are going to keep me here, then my only hope is that you are prepared to suffer my wrath, for it will be all encompassing. Is it too much to ask that when a person reports that something bad is going to happen, and has proof, that someone in a position of authority will at least make an attempt to check and see if the threat really exists? Damn you to hell, all of you. My father came to you and told you exactly what was going to happen. He told you that he and his family were in danger. He trusted that you would make an attempt to avert the inevitable. He was only one person. One person cannot stop a group of heartless Death Eaters. Now, thanks to you bastards, my entire family is gone…my father, my mother, my brother, and two sisters. Was it that we were not worth saving? Is that it? Is it because my father was a Death Eater? Yes, he was a Death Eater, one who discovered too late what he had got himself involved with. As you well know, he had become a spy for none other than you pathetic lot and was trying to right a wrong, as well as protect his family. He risked his damn life for you all so information could be gathered against his hated master. Look where it got him. He is dead, along with all of my other family members. Now I am alone – no family, no love, nothing. You treat me as if I were one of them – I am not. Do you see the Dark Mark on my arm? Hell, no, and you never will. You keep me here, you say to protect me, but no, you are keeping me here to be cruel, nothing more, nothing less…."_

Severus came back to the present when he felt moisture falling onto one of his hands, which was propped up beneath his chin. The sorrow would never leave him; there was no closure to be had. If Severus had any say in the matter, Harry's fate would not be the same.

_The Latin words Substringo Infinitio translate to together for eternity_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Harry, eating the last biscuit, set down the goblet of water and plate on the side table, then perched himself on the edge of the sofa as Severus entered, carrying a medium-sized box. It had been a little over forty-five minutes since he'd left, and seeing the box made Harry curious. "What's in there?"

"Patience. All in good time," said Severus in an almost whisper as he looked ahead at nothing. He made his way to the sofa and sat down beside Harry, placing the box between their feet. Then he looked at Harry and took a deep breath. There would be no further delays. This was it. By the look of Harry, he was expecting something rather huge. Severus almost laughed. If Harry knew what he was about to hear, he'd be running for the front gates of Hogwarts. Severus didn't think that was a half-bad idea for himself, but no, he would do this. For no one else would he put himself through such torture – he knew that there were no limits as to what he would do for Harry – he'd known that for a very long time.

_What is Severus thinking_? Harry wanted to know. He looked as if his world had come crashing down around him, but perhaps it had, Harry decided as he thought about what was about to happen. Harry was no fool, and he knew what was coming. Regardless of what this box held, at some point soon Severus would have to reveal that he had feelings for his student. Harry didn't envy him one bit. Glancing at the box, then returning his gaze to Severus, Harry studied the expressionless face before him, wanting to know what was about to happen. Well, he had an idea what he would be told, but he had no idea what was in the box. _I want to know what's in that box. _Harry never had been one for patience.

Severus watched Harry's eyes rest on the box and decided it was now or never. He bent down and opened it, revealing a large round bowl-like container. He glanced at Harry as he extricated it from the box.

Oh. It was a Pensieve. Harry arched an eyebrow when he saw Severus look at him, but he really needn't have done so: it took only a few seconds for him to understand… or to think he did. He wasn't sure, but he thought this might be how Severus would tell him about his feelings – it made sense. What better way to reveal something so personal? It was rather ingenious, Harry thought. Now he wanted to know what he would see? The last time he'd been inside of a Pensieve, it had been in Dumbledore's office, and he had gone inside without permission. Since that day, he'd often thought how nice it would be to have one of his own.

As Severus lifted the Pensieve out of the box, he handled it reverently as he glanced at Harry. As a young child, Severus had dreamt of having a Pensieve. He remembered that his best friend from those days had possessed one. Severus had longed for one of his own, but the one time he had asked if he could have a Pensieve, his mother had laughed at him. It hadn't been until he was twenty-one that he'd had the opportunity to use one. "I am aware that you have used one of these before, Harry. I have no idea where to begin with what to tell you, and it may help both of us if you use the Pensieve rather than me telling you what needs to be said. When you are finished, I will explain." Severus took a breath. He hated that he was having to do this, and that Harry would have to see what he was about to – it was so very unfair. "I never expected you to see this, Harry, and it is unfair that I am asking you to do so now. If it were not for the fact that you and I are revealing our fears to each other because of the Dark Lord, I would never ask you to go through this. I do not wish to hurt you, Harry – I would never hurt you." Severus momentarily closed his eyes and felt as his fingernails pressed against his palms. This was almost too much for him to deal with, and that was saying a lot. He had been through a lot in his life and he prided himself on being able to withstand anything that life through him. This, however – it was challenging everything he had ever thought. "Please use the Pensieve, and then, well…we shall talk." Severus was visibly nervous and sat back down on the sofa, his hands now balled in his lap. He noticed that Harry was looking at him sadly. It was not reassuring, and again, Severus thought about fleeing the room. And again, he knew that was not an option.

When Severus sat down, Harry got on his knees in front of the Pensieve and slowly began nearing the bowl. He was nervous, but he knew the longer he put this off, the worse it would be for Severus, and it didn't seem right to prolong his suffering. He grinned, hoping Severus wouldn't see. This really was surreal. He – Severus – a Pensieve – perhaps the world was ending. Harry then turned and gave Severus a small smile, one that he did intend the man to see, just before his nose touched the shimmering silvery liquid. Severus nodded his head and Harry continued.

Through the Pensieve, Harry could see Severus sitting at a desk in what appeared to be his bedroom: He was writing. Harry's vantage-point was too far away to see clearly. He peered deeper and his body seemed to fall forward.

_When he felt solid ground, he was sitting beside Severus's chair. He stood up and looked over the older wizard's shoulder. There on the desk was Severus's journal, turned to a page filled with words. Wet ink informed Harry that the words had been written recently. Harry began at the beginning of the page and read through until the end. It was the entry he had read in the forbidden forest, revealing Severus's feelings for him._

_Harry finished reading the entry, then studied Severus's movements: he was looking straight ahead, then he stood up, walked over to his bed where he sat down, put his head in his hands, and began to shake. Harry tried walking over to him but was pulled from the memory. When he felt himself land, he was again in Severus's room, but Severus was dressed differently. The journal was once again open, and Severus was sitting at his desk staring at it with a dejected look on his face. Harry was quickly pulled from this memory, and just as quickly taken through several other memories, similar to what he had just witnessed._

_Then Harry found himself surrounded by trees, and he could hear sounds coming from the inhabitants of the place he was now in. He heard footsteps and saw Severus walking towards him, carrying the journal. As Harry watched, Severus took out his wand and transfigured the journal into a piece of firewood. He then conjured a fire and sat on the ground watching the firewood that previously held his most private thoughts, burn. After a few minutes, Severus doused the fire, then turned to leave. He turned back and looked at the charred wood one last time, and Harry watched as a single tear rolled down Severus's cheek._

_"I have to let you go, Harry – I have to make myself forget." As Severus finished speaking, he turned around quickly and left the same way he had come. _

Then Harry felt himself being removed from the memory. When he opened his eyes, he was back on the floor, in front of the Pensieve, and Severus was on the sofa beside him, looking petrified. Harry didn't know what to say, but he knew that he needed to say something quickly. Severus was probably thinking how he had just turned his student's world upside down.

If Harry hadn't already read the journal, he would be shocked, and probably horrified, but that hadn't been how it had happened: He_ had_ read the entry and he had spent the past few days in Severus's care, and even if he hadn't read the entry, Harry thought that the revelation mightn't have been so horrific after all. He had learned quite a bit about himself and Severus Snape over the past few days. _I need to tell him it's okay, before he thinks I'm angry or something._

**~*~ **

**Takes Place at the same time that Harry is about to speak to Severus**

_"It is time my faithful servants. If we cannot get to Harry Potter, he will have to be brought to us. You know what you have to do, yes?"_

_"Oh yes, Master, we know exactly what has to be done. This will be fun – killing two birds with one stone."_

_"No mistakes this time, or else…you will be the one done in by the stone. And just in case you have forgotten what happens when you fail me, I will give you a little reminder: Crucio."_

**~*~**

Severus was about to speak when he noticed Harry's eyes rolling into the back of his head and as he fell over and his body began convulsing. After a few seconds, he began screaming. Severus reached for him, then the screaming suddenly stopped. Severus sighed – it was quite obvious what had happened. He turned Harry over and saw that his face was pasty-white.

Harry groaned, but was relieved. Voldemort seemed rather charitable today – the pain as of late had usually been much more intense and usually lasted for a greater length of time.

"The Dark Lord?" Severus was holding Harry up and checking for injuries.

Harry could only nod, but after a few seconds, he regained his ability to speak. "Yeah, he was talking to two of his Death Eaters and told them they knew what they had to do, and then something about using someone to get me. Then one of the others said it would be fun, then said something about killing two birds with one stone."

Severus felt a chill run through his body_. How could The Dark Lord possibly get Harry away from Hogwarts? It is not possible. And who is the other one they are talking about? I have an idea, but… _Severus needed to speak to Albus about this.

"Harry, I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore. Go into my bedroom and look on the bedside table by my bed and you will find a phial of potion. Take it and then get some rest. I will be back later. My password is _Little Snake_."

"Okay." Severus was gone before Harry could say anything further, the events of the past few minutes, before Harry's vision and Cruciatus, seemingly forgotten, but Harry knew they had simply been interrupted, and would be continued. He only hoped it would be soon. _What a time for Voldemort to strike_, Harry thought as he shook his head. Feeling a stab of pain as it shot down his body, he did as Severus told him. Even with theCruciatus being weaker than usual, it still managed to sap his strength, and cause him great discomfort – he felt as if he could sleep for hours. He went to Severus's rooms, took the potion, and climbed onto Severus's bed; the potion's effects were almost instantaneous, and Harry was soon resting peacefully.

**~*~**

"Peanut M&M's." Severus hoped the Headmaster was in his study; he was in a hurry and didn't want to waste any valuable time. If what Harry had heard was referring to what Severus was thinking, then time was definitely not on their side.

"Come in, Severus. You look worried."

Yes, the Headmaster had always been one for understating the obvious. Severus had to work very hard to not reply snappishly. "Yes, I am worried, Albus. Harry had another vision followed by the Cruciatus." Albus opened his mouth and looked worried. Severus put up his hand and shook his head. "No need to worry… too much. He is resting now. I think we might have problems, however, and big ones. The Dark Lord told whoever was in his presence that if he could not get the boy, Harry would have to be brought to him. Something was also mentioned about killing two birds with one stone." Severus looked at the Headmaster and sighed with a frown on his face. "I can think of only one way he could get to Harry from Hogwarts. It appears as though my loyalty is about to be tested."

The Headmaster grimaced. "Yes, it does seem so. We must get in touch with Hagrid; he is in danger, and must be brought back here immediately."

Severus nodded. "I will go contact him now."

"Let us hope we have time to get him back," Albus replied, not sounding at all confident. "Voldemort knows that you are exactly what will be needed to get Harry. He no doubt probably believes you are on his side, but he knows that we believe you are on our side. We don't know if he plans on you kidnapping Harry, or not, but I rather doubt that to be the case. As everyone knows, if you are taken, then Harry will take the initiative and do whatever is necessary to get you back. Yes, Voldemort knows the two of you share no love-loss, but he also knows how Harry thinks. This is not good, Severus, but it has the potential to get much worse. If Hagrid is captured, our plan that we have been working on will have failed before it ever began. Hagrid will eventually return to his body and Voldemort will know he has been fooled, and then you will be found out. Hagrid would be killed instantly, and I do not think I need to go on."

"Certainly not." Severus replied, knowing all too well what would happen to him. "I am well aware of what this means. I am off to contact Hagrid and will Floo you when I finish speaking with him." With that, Severus swept out of the Headmaster's office and returned to his rooms. Seeing his bedroom door open, he walked to the doorway and watched Harry as he slept: he looked so peaceful, and Severus wished he could always look that way – he had been through far too much in his almost seventeen years of life. Not wanting to interrupt Harry's rest, Severus decided to use Harry's sitting room to contact Hagrid.

"Rubeus Hagrid; Silver Green Manor; Alexandria, Virginia, United States of America."

With a pop, Severus met carbon copies of his eyes. "Hagrid, we have a problem. You must return to Hogwarts, immediately. We will explain when you have arrived. There is no time to discuss this – you must leave now, and whatever you do, speak to no one!"

"Okay. I'm leavin' now, and won' say nothin'."

With that done, Hagrid/Snape's head disappeared with a pop. It was highly unsafe to try a transatlantic Flooing; it had resulted in some very untimely deaths, and a few people were forever lost in the transfer. Hagrid would have to Disapparate, which was also highly dangerous from such great distances, but, in an emergency, it was the only way.

"The Headmaster's office." Albus's head popped into the fire and Severus relayed his conversation with Hagrid to him. After the Headmaster had returned to his office, Severus decided he needed to check on Harry. He made his way back to his rooms and saw that Harry was still asleep, and it appeared as though he continued to sleep soundly, which Severus was thankful for.

Severus quietly approached his bed, pulled up a chair, and watched Harry sleep.

**~*~**

_"Hi, William."_

_"Oh, hey there, Harry. I wasn't sure if you were coming back or not."_

_"I wish I could live here; it would be heaven."_

_"It does have its advantages, yes, but, it does get lonely. Of course, now that there are two of us, we can play games and have fun."_

_"So, you live here all the time? You mean that you never leave?"_

_"More or less, yes. For a while I did come and go; then he left one day and I stayed."_

_"What do you mean, William?"_

_"When I first came here, this was our sanctuary and he knew that I would be safe here; safe from the outside world. He does come back occasionally."_

_"May I ask who this he is that you are talking about?"_

_"Let me see if I can explain this – he is me, or at least he is part of me. One day for some unknown reason, there were two of us and we felt that I needed to stay here and he needed to go back. I believe he said to me that I had to remain here so he could function."_

_"That is strange, William. I wonder if that will happen to me?"_

_"Can't answer you on that one; it could be that you're here for the same reason as me."_

_"I guess. Whatever the reason, I'm glad. I feel happy here and want to feel this way all the time."_

_"If you stay here, Harry, you will be happy all the time, but your other side will not be happy; mine isn't. I feel sorry for him. Maybe you should think about it before you decide to stay. Soon, you may not have a choice."_

_"Maybe so. I'll think about it. I better go. See you later, William."_

_"Bye, Harry."_

Harry awoke rested, and glanced at the clock; he had been sleeping for four hours. He could tell by his stomach that it was past time for supper, so he decided to go back to his rooms. He opened the door from the bedroom and saw Severus reading on the sofa, looking comfortable, not at all pensive, as he had looked hours earlier.

Severus heard his bedroom door open and glanced up to see Harry making his way over to him. "Did you rest well?"

"Okay, I guess; I felt like somebody was watching over me, protecting me. I also had a dream; it was similar to one I had in hospital wing." Had he told Severus about the dream he'd had? He couldn't remember, but he thought he had.

Severus raised a brow and gestured for Harry to elaborate.

"I was in this really pretty meadow where everything was beautiful and larger than life. There was this boy there, well, I'm guessing he was about my age, so teenager, I guess. He told me he'd been in this place for almost twenty years. Remember I said he was a teenager; that is something I can't figure out. Anyway, he told me I was the only other person who'd ever been there besides him. He also said something about part of him leaving, and part of him staying – really weird stuff. Then he told me I should decide if I want to stay or not while I can. What is that supposed to mean?" Not that Harry expected any answers, but Severus was older, wiser, and he might have an answer.

"I don't know, Harry, but it does sound as if this person is possibly trying to help you avoid the same mistake they made. Perhaps you should talk to Professor Dumbledore about it. He is adept at interpreting dreams."

Bloody brilliant idea that was. He should have thought of that. Harry's stomach growled again. "I'll do that. I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Do you think we could ask a house-elf to send us up something to eat?"

Severus called for a house-elf, and soon Harry and he were both eating as if they hadn't eaten in days. After eating the main course, Severus watched as Harry had two servings of some odd-looking food that looked as if it must be full of sugar.

Harry felt Severus staring at him and finally looked up from his plate. "What?"

Severus grinned. "Oh nothing, I am just rather enjoying watching you eat whatever that is you are eating."

Harry smirked. "Can I help it if I savor the taste? There really is nothing else like it; it is called Four-Layer-Delight – it is one of the only things my aunt made that she would allow me to eat as much as I wanted. You really should try some."

"I will take your word for it. Nothing else like it? Well, if you say so."

Harry made a face and stuck out his tongue. "Oh, I do say so, here, taste it." Severus shook his head and pushed the spoon away.

"I am quite full, thank you; unlike you, I finished my main course and stayed away from the other things."

"Oh Sev, you are no fun; those other things are by far the best part of the meal. You should live a little."

Severus slowly looked up at Harry, surprise written on his face. He hadn't heard his name shortened like that in almost sixteen years. "Sev?" Severus was careful to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah…well, it fits you; I mean it is short for Severus, but, if you don't like it…"

"No, no… that is fine; I just hadn't heard anyone call me that in a very long time. You may call me Sev, Harry." Severus swallowed and had to force himself to not close his eyes and allow the memories to return; they were far too painful.

"Thanks, Sev." Harry thought Severus wasn't too happy with the nickname, so perhaps he wouldn't use it, but it seemed right to call him that. A house-elf appeared, cleared the food, and disappeared in a blink of an eye, leaving Harry and Severus full, but not as happy-looking now as minutes earlier. "What're you thinking about, Severus? You look so far away."

Without thinking, Severus responded with at least part of the truth. "Hagrid is on his way back here now. We think The Dark Lord may try to get him." As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. He hadn't meant to say anything; he knew how close Harry and Hagrid were.

"Hagrid, who Voldemort thinks is you, was the other person mentioned in the vision I had?" asked a visibly upset Harry.

"It is only a guess, but one that seems plausible._" Good going, Severus…you just ruined the mood, and gave him something else to worry about._ "Nothing that you should worry about, Harry." And again, Severus knew that had been an incredibly ill-advised choice of words.

Harry began to laugh, a mirthless laugh. "Well, good – why should we stop with Cedric, Sirius, Professor Lupin and my relatives? We should just let Voldemort get Hagrid, as well. Or should it be you? He is after you, after all. While we are at it, why don't we all just turn ourselves over to Voldemort and say: here you go, compliments of Harry Potter." Harry started laughing again, and went to sit on the sofa and turned his head towards the bedroom, away from Severus.

Severus was stunned into inaction for a few seconds, but, as soon as he could move, he was in front of Harry, on his knees. "I knew I should not have told you. Harry, look at me." Harry didn't move, so Severus turned Harry's face so he would have to face him. "Hagrid is on his way back to Hogwarts. Your vision gave us time."

"I don't think Hagrid is here yet, do you? Until I see him here, I'll worry, Severus. I am so tired of worrying." And he was. His entire life had been about worrying it seemed.

It was easy to see how upset Harry was. Severus felt somewhat responsible. "I have caused you some of that worry, Harry; I am sorry. I knew the Pensieve was not a good idea."

Uh oh. So here it was. It had to come out sooner or later, and Harry guessed he was glad Severus had been the one to bring it up. As much as Harry wanted this to happen, he dreaded it. Nevertheless, he smiled reassuringly and shook his head. "I'm sorry for a lot of things that have happened over the past few days, Severus, but I can honestly tell you that what I saw today isn't one of them. I'm not upset with you for allowing me to see what I did." The look of complete shock on Severus's face would have been comical if the subject weren't so serious. Harry smiled at Severus and received a small smile in return, but it was evident that Severus was nervous. His hands were shaking. Harry was surprised to find that his weren't. He'd thought he would be more nervous at this point, but instead it was as if a giant weight had visibly lifted.

He was no longer struggling with what he wanted to say. Everything was so very obvious: why hadn't he seen it before now? In Severus, Harry had found a friend, that was a given; nothing could ever remove that label from the two of them.

He wasn't ready for anything else, yet, but that didn't mean that he didn't want anything to happen between him and Severus in the future. Now, the only problem was how to tell Severus this; it was so very clear that his words would be rebuffed and Harry didn't want that to happen. "I know you said you would explain what was in the Pensieve, Severus, and I do want to hear what you have to say, but, first I need to tell you that I'm sorry you were forced into this. I don't think you were ready to tell me, and perhaps you never would have."

Severus nodded. Harry knew him too well. Well, everyone knew him well enough to know that he'd not ever be involved with a student, or at least he hoped they all knew that. "You are right about that, Harry. I had no intention of ever sharing my feelings for you with you. You being a student, well…that was not good, me having these thoughts of you, especially since both of us would be thrown out of Hogwarts immediately if we were found out to be involved in any way. Then there was our mutual dislike of one another to consider. I was somewhat certain that you no longer felt I was as vile as you had once thought, but thinking that you could grow to like me was not something I seriously considered. So, yes, these thoughts would have remained mine only."

Harry felt sad as he heard Severus telling him this. He wondered how many people in the world passed up love because of misjudgments of and by others. "You wrote that journal entry five months ago, Severus, have you changed your mind, or do you still feel the same?" Harry knew the answer, but he had to ask, nonetheless. In for a knut…

"Nothing has changed, Harry. If anything, the feelings are much stronger," Severus replied, his voice sounding defeated, his face looking absolutely crestfallen. "And the past few days have proven to me that what I am feeling is real. When you needed me this weekend, I felt more alive then I've felt in years."

Harry didn't miss the meaning behind those words. This wasn't about love; it was about acceptance. He wasn't daft, however – he understood what these feelings ultimately meant, but for now, they were more about need than love or anything else, and that was something Harry could definitely understand. This was all still so very bizarre and unbelievable, but Harry knew with each passing second that this was the path he was supposed to go down. For whatever reason, his and Severus's paths had crossed and perhaps were meant to diverge onto another of their own making. Harry shook his head: Why was he having such deep thoughts? It was not like him at all. But then again, much of what he had felt these past few days was unlike him. "Thank you, Severus, for everything. I did need you this weekend, and you were there. If you'll allow this, I…er would like to see what we could become at some point in the future, but not now. I'm not ready for anything yet. In any case, it's a moot subject for at least a year since I am a student."

"Correct, Harry, but even after you are no longer a student, I don't think you realize what being involved with me would entail. What would everyone think?"

Harry gave Severus an incredulous look, but truth be told, he had thought about this, and it had bothered him, quite a bit. Severus Snape was twenty years older than him, he was not a nice person, and he was not pleasing to look at. What would people think? But thinking about it on his own was far different from hearing Severus speak about it, and it made Harry realise that he didn't much care what anyone else thought. All that mattered was what he thought. He cared for Severus and didn't much like the idea of anyone saying anything bad about him now. Harry nearly laughed. Now he was defending Severus in his mind. His life really had shifted quite dramatically in the past few days. "Damn it, Severus, I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not about to just walk away from this because of what someone might say. You, of all people, should know how it feels to never quite fit in, never quite have what it takes." Harry had to calm himself; he hadn't meant to become so worked up, but he felt as if he had crossed a rather huge hurdle with those words.

Severus slowly nodded. For the first time since he had begun having these intense feelings, he felt as if all might not be lost. There could possibly be a future for him and Harry yet... just not now. "You should probably go, Harry," was all he could say, his voice rather low.

This was probably the only way to get out of the situation without anything further happening, and Harry knew it. "Yeah…I probably should. Will you come by and get me so we can go to breakfast together?"

"That will not be a problem. Goodnight, Harry." Severus reached in his robes and removed a phial. "Here, take this Dreamless Sleep; I think you will want to take it before you go to sleep."

"Thanks, Sev. You've been too good to me, you know."

"No one could ever be too good to you, Harry. If you need anything, come get me. You know the password."

Harry nodded as he stood and walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder and grinned when he saw Severus looking at him, a slight smile on his face; it was a rather good look on Severus; it was much better than the glare or frown he usually wore.

What a strange day it had been. Harry mouthed the word bye, then opened the door and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The day's revelations, as well as his continued recovery from his bout with shock rendered Harry close to exhaustion and he knew that he needed hours of rest in order for his body to return to its normal state. That would take days to accomplish, but for now, all he asked for were a few hours' uninterrupted sleep. That didn't seem such a huge request, but for him, that was asking for a small miracle. Nevertheless, he could hope. His eyes were so very heavy and it felt wonderful when he finally shut them.

A voice, vaguely familiar, woke him, and Harry was not at all amused; he had been sleeping quite hard. "Go away… it's too early… go back to bed," he said before he yawned. Who was in his bedroom… and how had they got there? A growl. He should have known he'd not be allowed to sleep.

"It's Snape, wake up. We need to leave."

_He sounds agitated with me. _"What? Why do we have to leave?" Harry tried to force his eyes open as he looked towards Severus and saw a blurry blob. He found his glasses and put them on: Severus didn't look at all happy.

"Dumbledore asked me to take you into Hogsmeade, Potter. We have to vacate the castle, immediately. The Headmaster will meet us and explain what this is about when we arrive."

Harry stared at Severus, who would have never called him Potter, not after everything they'd been through. What was going on? Then Harry's face paled and it all made sense. _Could it be possible? It has to be because this isn't Severus; it has to be Hagrid. _He looked pensively at Hagrid, but told himself to stay calm. "If Professor Dumbledore wants me to leave, he'll have to tell me himself. Sorry, but I was told not to leave the grounds without the Headmaster's permission. So, either get him, or leave me alone." Harry knew this attempt was more than likely futile, but his mind was racing; how could he extricate himself from this situation? He wasn't leaving his rooms voluntarily; he'd have to be forced, which he knew was about to happen. He had the urge to scream for Severus, but he couldn't do that, not with Hagrid, who was posing as Severus Snape, in his room. That would seal the real Severus's fate quicker than an Avada Kedavra.

"Potter, we have no time for this."

Hagrid was visibly angering and Harry knew the situation wasn't looking very promising. There was only so much he could do to delay the inevitable. His mind was still racing. _My wand… where is my wand?_

Hagrid noticed Harry's eyes looking around the room frantically. "Looking for something, Mr Potter?" Hagrid held Harry's wand in his left hand. "So sorry, Potter. But I could not very well leave you with your wand, could I? Enough of this, come along now, or I will have to force you."

Harry knew this wasn't Severus, but he had to be careful what he said, if anything. The real Severus Snape was about to reenter the _Dark Lord's_ good graces, and Harry couldn't mess that up. Before he could react in any way, a wand was placed in front of his face and he could hear the word Stupify being shouted. His body tensed and he was frozen in place. Hagrid then picked him up, went to the sitting room, and used the fireplace to leave.

**~*~**

Severus had slept well; he felt more rested than he had in months, but in the back of his mind something kept nagging at him. In an attempt to distract himself from those uncomfortable thoughts, he poured himself a cup of tea and sat down to read the _Daily Prophet_. There was an article on the front page about an attempted escape from Azkaban, which caused Severus to think about Black, which made him think about Harry, which brought the bad feelings back. Then a feeling like ice going down his back ran through him and he stood, terror on his face: Harry. Something was wrong with Harry. Severus ran out into the corridor, then ran to Harry's rooms._ Bugger — please let him be there, please let these thoughts be wrong. Please. _"Carpe Diem." Severus entered Harry's rooms. Nothing seemed out of place or broken, which would have indicated a struggle. He nervously approached Harry's bedroom. As he slowly opened the door, he called out for Harry. He repeated this several times, but there was no one inside. Severus checked the bathroom, kitchen, everywhere he could possibly be. No Harry. Severus went to Harry's bed but found nothing out of the ordinary. Wherever Harry was, he had left in a hurry. Severus panicked. Harry's wand was also missing, which, in itself, was of no concern: No wizard should ever be without his wand. Severus could only hope that Harry had it and not someone else. _Harry, where are you? Oh Merlin, please let him be okay._

"Albus Dumbledore," Severus shouted after he threw the Floo powder into the fireplace. The Headmaster's head appeared in the fire.

"What is it, Severus? You are looking ghastly this morning."

"Harry is gone, Albus. I woke up with the feeling that something wasn't right; a few minutes later, it occurred to me that my feelings were about Harry. I ran to his rooms, but he was not here. His wand is gone. Albus, we told him not to leave without your permission, and I am certain he would have heeded your warnings considering what has happened over the last few days; he was taken, Albus, I just know it," Severus said, worry so very obvious in his voice and on his face.

Albus knew it as well. He stepped through the fire into Harry's sitting room and looked around. "Only you, Harry, Minerva, and myself, could get into Harry's rooms. Minerva will not be arriving from her sister's until later this morning, and if you and I did not enter his rooms, and if this is the result of someone entering and taking him against his will, there is only one explanation. Much as I hate to think it, the possibility that Voldemort somehow intercepted Hagrid before he left, and put him under Imperius is plausible. He looks like you, and even has your mannerisms, and speech, and thanks to your latest addition to that potion you gave Hagrid, he also has the characteristics of your magical signature. I daresay the wards placed on Harry's rooms would not have been able to tell the difference between the two of you."

Severus sat on Harry's bed, on the verge of a breakdown. "I should have strengthened the wards, then this would not have happened. This is my fault."

"You know better than to say that, Severus. This is most certainly not your fault. We will do everything we possibly can to get Harry back, Severus. I will contact Arthur, and I would appreciate it if you would contact Draco. He is in a position to find out information if Voldemort is behind taking Harry, but, before you do anything, I suggest you have a long shower, eat breakfast, and compose yourself. You will do no one any good in your current state."

Through the anger and sadness, Severus managed a small grin as he nodded. It was good to know he had Albus; everyone needed someone in their lives like Albus Dumbledore. "Yes, Albus."

**~*~**

Harry awoke in a dark and dank cell, confused. He didn't know where he was, but the events of the morning began coming back to him, and he swore under his breath as he realized where he must be. _I'm sure Severus has discovered I'm missing by now. How will they ever find me? This is just wonderful; Voldemort now has not only me, but Hagrid. I wonder how long Hagrid will remain in Severus's body._ Harry's musings were interrupted when someone opened his cell.

"Good Morning, Mr Potter. The Dark Lord wishes to speak with you. I am to clean you up, then present you to him."

Harry was jerked to a standing position and led to a huge bathroom. The Death Eater ordered him to shower quickly and then change into the robes provided. Harry thought about taking his time in the shower, but thought it probably not very wise to get on Voldemort's bad side so soon_. Does he even have a good side?_ Harry quickly showered and donned the robes he found on the cabinet. Once dressed, he was led to Voldemort's personal quarters. As he entered, he could see the back of the vile creature's head.

"Master, I have brought you Harry Potter, sir."

Voldemort slowly turned around and approached Harry. "That will be all, Crabbe."

After the Death Eater, who Harry figured to be the father of Vincent Crabbe, exited the room, the Dark Lord motioned for Harry to approach. Slowly, Harry eased his way nearer Voldemort. His scar had already begun to hurt, and the pain seemed to worsen with each step he took forward, but no matter how intense his scar hurt, he wouldn't show his discomfort, even if he passed out in the process.

"Ah, Harry Potter. How long I have waited for this day. You are finally _mine_."

"Never…I will never be yours, Tom." Harry wasn't going to hold anything back. His chances of escape were not great, and if he was going to spend the rest of his time here, he was certainly not going down without a fight.

Voldemort gave a small evil chuckle. "Ah, but Potter, you do not have a choice in the matter. What will poor Albus Dumbledore think when he discovers that his adored Potions professor has betrayed him by bringing me the fool's greatest asset? There is nothing anyone can do for you now, Potter. You are most assuredly _mine_, and our dear Professor Snape will make sure of that. You will be moved to a room, Mr Potter. The ones who serve me live well; you will be no different. You are my newest and ultimate weapon. That necessitates accommodations worthy of me. Not that you come anywhere near me in stature, mind you. You will need your strength when I call on you, therefore you need to be well rested and fed. Now, come pay respect to your new master, Potter."

Harry remained motionless, but at the point of a wand, he felt himself stepping forward, bowing, and kissing the snake ring, which Voldemort wore. He then felt himself straightening his body and stepping back. He was furious, and had no idea what to do. He wasn't ready to die; he did know that much.

"That is better, Potter. In future, I expect promptness, respect and obedience from you_. _Crucio."

Harry fell to the stone floor and began twisting around on the ground. Even after it ended, he was unable to stand. He'd always reacted badly when he felt the victims in his visions being under the curse, but being the recipient was nothing short of torture, as he had found out during his last few meetings with Voldemort. He felt as if his insides were going to explode. He had never felt such pain, not even when he'd been placed under Cruciatus previously. He tried to stand, but was having great difficulty. Eventually he decided to lie still and allow the pain to diminish. He closed his eyes.

"You would be well-advised to mind what I say, Potter; there is plenty more where that came from. If I do not receive loyalty from you then you will not have to worry about living in the hell you imagine yourself to be in – you will not be living at all. I do hope you will make it easy on yourself and join me; I could give you the world, Potter, if you would only allow me. However, should you remain spineless, and continue believing that tripe that the fool Dumbledore has the right idea, then I will be left with only one alternative. You know what I am referring to, Potter, so I advise you to think long and hard before turning me down. Ordinarily, answers are demanded on the spot because I am not a patient man. For you, I will make an exception. You have twenty-one days to decide. Three weeks from today I will expect your answer."

Voldemort called for a house-elf and Harry was led to a suite, which consisted of a sitting room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Once he was left alone, he began thinking about how he could possibly escape.

_Oh Sev, where are you? Please come get me._

**~*~**

Hagrid had shaken off the remnants of the Imperius and was now trying to formulate a plan to get him and Harry back to Hogwarts as quickly as possible. His Polyjuice combination potion would only last another twenty-four hours before he would be back to himself. He knew if he changed back, he was as good as dead, as was the real Severus Snape… and Harry.

"Master, so good to see you." Hagrid bowed down to Voldemort as the vile creature entered the small room. He was sickened by his compliance, but Severus had taught him exactly how to, and how not, to behave before Voldemort. "How is Potter?"

"Not happy, of course, but he will be."

"Yes, Master, he will. You provide for yours."

"Severus, I need you back at Hogwarts to find out what is going on, but I also have another task for you to complete. I have given Potter three weeks to decide his fate. I will have no contact with him until then; I need you to take him as your personal trainee until that time. You can do whatever you wish with the boy, but under no circumstances are there to be any visible wounds, or anything causing him to die; Potter is all mine, and only I have the right to kill him. I thought of giving Potter to Lucius; Malfoy would so enjoy the boy, but then I thought this was the perfect opportunity for you to return to my lair. He is yours, Snape – do not disappoint me."

"Yes, Master."

"You will return each evening to be with Potter; I may require your assistance at other times, as well. When I call, Severus, I expect you to be prompt. Crucio."

Hagrid fell to his knees and began to scream out as if he were in great pain, but he was able to withstand the pain somewhat easier than most. He was a half-giant, after all, even if he were in Severus Snape's body. "Yes, Master." Voldemort dismissed Hagrid, who promptly Disapparated to the edge of the forbidden forest, then ran as quickly as he could. As he was entering the Entrance Hall, he met Severus, who was on his way out.

"Where is Harry, Hagrid?" Severus asked in an almost panicked sounding voice.

"Voldemort used Imperius on me; 'e appeared at the manor as I was preparin' to leave an' said this was 'is perfect opportunity to finally get Harry; 'e's at The Riddle House. I'm sorry."

"Hagrid, you had no control; it is not your fault. What is Voldemort's plan?" Severus surprised himself at how calm he appeared outwardly. On the inside, he was a mess.

"Accordin' to Crabbe, Harry 'as bin moved to one of the suites. Voldemort sent me back to find out Perfessor Dumbledore's plans. He 'as also made Harry me trainee for the next three weeks but said 'e migh' be in need of my assistance at other times and I should be prompt whenever 'e calls."

Severus felt his stomach drop_. Damn. Damn. Damn._

"Perfessor, are you alright?"

"No, I am not." If Hagrid was waiting for an explanation, he was going to be disappointed. "Hagrid. I have already taken the reversal potion to your hut; it is on the second shelf in your cupboard. You should take it soon. It would not do to have two Snapes walking around. Thank you for all of your help."

Hagrid smiled and nodded. "Let's jus' hope poor Harry is alrigh'."

"He will be, Hagrid. We will get him back." As he was saying this, a shocked expression took over his face as he thought he could hear Harry speaking to him in his mind. It was so very clear, but…

"Perfessor?"

"I must go see the Headmaster, Hagrid. Thank you again for all of your work."

Severus made his way to the Headmaster's office. "Jolly Ranchers." He was let in, and immediately took his usual seat. "Albus, I think Harry just sent me a message: how, I do not know." Severus then told the Headmaster about his conversation with Hagrid and the plea from Harry.

Albus had to keep his smile at bay as he thought back to the entry he had read the previous day, which explained Harry's recent symptoms._ Yes, Severus did hear Harry, but now is not the time to tell him why. _"Is he at the Riddle House?"

"Not only that; he is in one of the suites, and has been appointed to me as my trainee. Albus, we have to get Harry out of there. As my trainee, I am to teach Harry the benefits of becoming a Death Eater, and show him how we punish noncompliance. It is not something I am willing to do, but Voldemort sees everything that goes on; he has surveillance in every room. He will want to see what I am doing, Albus."

There could be no doubt what Severus was referring to; if history were to repeat itself…_ Well, it seems time to tell Severus, after all. _"There is something you and Harry should know, Severus; it could possibly be Harry's way back to Hogwarts. I wanted to wait, but you need this information. This is not ideal at all, but what I am about to tell you, I ask that you relay it to Harry after we talk." Severus nodded. "Have you ever come across any information regarding Substringo Infinitio?"

"I do not recall ever hearing of such a thing, no, what is it?" Severus asked, perplexed.

"It is a bond – not technically, but essentially, it acts as a bond. You mentioned to me earlier that you thought you heard Harry speaking to you, correct?"

"Yes, it was as if he were standing next to me."

"It is my belief that you and Harry are under the influence of this bond; it is not like a marriage bond, where you have to seal it before it will work properly. According to the text I read, this bond results when two people meet who each possess half of their soul and half of the other's soul. Just by knowing each other, abilities are greatly strengthened, but as the two get closer, more abilities appear and become more prevalent."

Severus nodded, unable to speak. He and Harry sharing a bond was beyond anything he had ever thought about. It certainly would explain what had been happening to him over the past few months.

Albus's eyes began to twinkle. He could only imagine what Severus was thinking. "There are many facets of this bond that I will share with you and Harry, at a later date, but for now all the two of you need to know is that by your being in close proximity with each other, possibly he could use his increased powers to escape. I have no idea if this could work, but I had to give both of you the opportunity to try. Besides telling Harry about the bond, I also suggest you tell Harry everything that Voldemort told Hagrid about what you are going to be expected to do. Once you and Harry are together, Voldemort will be listening and watching your every word and move."

"I will, Albus," Severus replied, half-dazed. He was finding it difficult to wrap his mind around the idea that Harry and he shared a bond. "You are saying that Harry and I have half of each other's soul?"

"Yes, Severus. For a lack of a better description, the two of you appear to be soul mates."

**~*~**

Harry was lying on his bed when the door opened, revealing Lucius Malfoy.

"Mr Potter… welcome. My master is greatly pleased with your presence. He asked me to check on you and see that you are adjusting well."

Harry remained silent as he stared Lucius down. How dare this man, who had been involved in the deaths of his only remaining family members, and those of one of his best friends, come in and expect pleasantries.

Eventually, after staring down one another for several minutes, Lucius stood from the chair he had taken. "My, my, Potter, aren't we the rude little brat? Not to worry, next time I will make sure and wipe that snooty look off your face." Lucius then glided out of the room as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Harry shivered. Lucius Malfoy was not one to be messed with, but Harry wasn't about to acknowledge him; he never would. He would deal with Voldemort and no one else. Harry stood and looked around him. It hadn't even been nine hours since he'd been sleeping peacefully in his bed at Hogwarts – nine long hours.

_I am sorry, Severus. I know you have tried so hard to keep me safe. You have always been there for me when I needed you, even when I pushed you away. I will never push you away again._

Harry let his mind wander. He thought about Severus, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Hagrid. He didn't want to think about never seeing them again. They all meant something special to him, and he wanted to tell each of them that he loved them.

~*~

Severus couldn't concentrate; ever since he had heard the word _soul mate_ coming out of the Headmaster's mouth, his mind had been reeling.

_How can this be true? But, if it is, and if we can use this to free Harry, then I must tell him._

Earlier, Severus had sent an owl to Draco requesting a meeting the following day, and he was anxiously awaiting his reply while making some potions for Poppy – standing over a simmering cauldron always helped relax him. He was also thinking of how he should tell Harry about what Albus had told him.

After finishing with the potions, Severus went to the bathroom to wash his face – he always felt grimy after standing over a cauldron for too long. He took a wet flannel, covered his face, and immediately felt better. Then he washed his hands. Severus looked into the mirror and saw his reflection staring back at him.

Haunted eyes—

_"What do you say, Snape? Will you join us or not? You could be powerful…"_

_"Never."_

_"No? Maybe you will change your mind, after a little persuasive coaxing… we have our ways."_

_"Never."_

_"Snape…on your knees, now…"_

_"No."_

_"Can't say you have not been warned…."_

_Pain courses through…pushed down…robes torn off…invaded_

_"Oh Merlin, you are a tight one…."_

_No words – only tears_

_"Give in Snape… come for me… now…"_

_"Bastards."_

_"How was it, Snape?"_

_"Go to Hell."_

_"Has your answer to my previous question changed?"_

_"No."_

_Tomorrow I will ask again… and tomorrow I will fuck you again, and again, and again, and again… until you give in. My master always gets what he wants, so, do not fight it. Although, I must say… I would not mind feeling that tightness around me again – you are one good fuck, Snape, a very good fuck indeed, and I am sure you will only get better… Ha Ha Ha…._

Severus opened his eyes to see tears coursing down his face. He backed up against the wall, where he slid down and collapsed on the floor. Harry may not be lost yet, but Severus knew what would happen; it had happened to him… he hadn't been able to take the nightly invasions of his privacy; he hadn't been able to withstand his body being tortured and used in such a way – he'd given in and had become one of them. Now, it was he who was being asked to break Harry and force him into the life Severus swore he would never live, but in the end, did. Severus put his head in his hands and allowed himself to cry for Harry, and for himself. He did cry, but rarely did he allow himself to do so for long: it was completely unbefitting a Snape to do so. This time, however, he didn't even attempt to quell the onslaught of tears. It was all so unfair. Why had he been forced to do something so bad that had led to other bad things, and why did the one good thing that had ever happened to him have to be taken from him?

Severus heard Harry in his head saying something about never pushing him away again.

_"I'll never push you away either, Harry... Harry, this is Severus. This may sound rather odd, but just now, I was able to hear your thoughts. You were saying, or thinking that you would never push me away again. This is the second time this has happened. I want to know if this works for you as well?"_

_"Hi, Severus. Yes, I guess it works both ways. This is really creepy."_

_"Are they treating you okay? Hagrid informed me about what the plans are."_

_"I talked to Voldemort – he wants me to join him; I would rather die, Severus."_

_"I know, Harry. We are going to get you out of there. Did Voldmort give you a time limit?_

_"Three weeks from today."_

_"Have faith, Harry. We will come and get you. I refuse to leave you in there any longer than I have to. I just found out some information from Albus that may get you out; he thinks that you and I can share our thoughts like this because we are both under a bond called Substringo Infinitio. According to some old texts that the Headmaster read, he thinks we both were born with half of our soul and half of the other's soul, and when we are together we have two complete souls; in other words we are soul mates."_

"_You're not taking the piss out of me, are you, Severus? Did you say we were soul mates? As in er we share a soul?"_

"_No, Harry, I am definitely not doing that, and yes, that is what I am saying. The Headmaster thinks that when we get in close proximity to each other, you may be able to use this increased magical ability to escape. There are wards up around the Riddle House that prevents this from happening, but with our combined abilities, there is a possibility that we can make it happen."_

_"But, I probably won't see you."_

_"Voldemort has assigned you to me, as my trainee. If I cannot make you change your loyalties, I am supposed to punish you… by… raping you. So, now, you understand how important getting you out is going to be?"_

_"I do."_

_"Harry, I would never rape you, even if it meant my being found out."_

_"I know. How long do I have before this is supposed to start happening?"_

_"I do not know; it is probable that you will see me within a few days. He will want to lull you into a false sense of security and then when he thinks you are least expecting it, I will be there. Please do not worry about this, Harry, I will not allow anything to happen to you. For now, get some rest. We will talk again later. Albus wants you to be present before he explains any further about this bond we share; he only told me what he did because you and me may need it to get you out of there. Remember, you will get out; I will get you, Harry. I will talk to you again soon, but you really should try and rest now."_

_"Okay. Bye, Severus."_

_"Bye, Harry."_

Severus was shaken by the exchange. As good as it had been to hear Harry, it had been quite obvious that he was petrified, and it made Severus sick to his stomach to think of Harry being so worried, but he had every right to be worried – he had no idea what was in store for him. Severus shivered, but was interrupted from his thoughts by tapping noises on his window. He quickly retrieved the parchment and found Draco's response enclosed.

_Professor Snape -_

_I will be in London tomorrow morning with Father; he has business to attend to. He leaves for Rome in the afternoon, and that would be the best time for me to meet with you. I will meet you as suggested, in the Leaky Cauldron, at two-thirty. If this is not agreeable, send the owl back with another time, and I will be there. I do have information for you._

_DM_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"You requested my presence, Master?" Severus knelt before Voldemort. He hadn't met with the Dark Lord in recent months and was apprehensive about what would take place. His trust seemed to have only been fully regained when Hagrid had been in America, and this was going to be Severus's first time back in the Dark Lord's good graces, or so he hoped. He knew how very precarious his situation was, and he knew he could very well be seconds away from death. The truth was, when you followed Voldemort, each second lived was a gift.

"Yes, Snape, as we discussed yesterday, you will be training Potter. You are aware of your responsibilities and obligations, yes?"

"I am, sir," Severus said, managing to evoke an evil look and a voice resonating with malice. Yes, Snape was back as far as Voldemort was concerned.

"Unfortunately, Snape, we will have to handle Potter differently. Usually, I send the trainers in immediately, in order to obtain the services of the trainees as quickly as possible. With Potter, however, I want to wait before anyone sees him. He will be in isolation for three weeks, and only then will anyone be allowed to see him; that is when you will begin your time with the boy. We will see what isolation, followed by nightly visits from you will do to his spirit."

Relief, yet a bit of apprehension flooded Severus's body. What was the plan now? Severus wasn't so sure he wanted to know, and he wasn't inclined to believe the Dark Lord: he had never been one to allow his prisoners to wallow in solitude for too long; something was going on, and Severus needed to discover what that was. For now, he had a sneering Dark Lord to reply to. "You have studied Potter well, My Lord; isolation will most assuredly get to the boy. Being the Golden Boy, as Dumbledore so naively thinks him, he constantly seeks attention and wants to always be the center of whatever is going on. I admit to being disappointed at not having the opportunity to persuade the boy, myself, presently, however, three weeks will go by quickly… I suppose." Just speaking these words repulsed Severus, and he thought he might become sick. Fortunately, he was able to calm himself, but he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with each passing second in the presence of such evil. Harry had to be able to use their combined magic to escape. With the Dark Lord and his sadistic bastards descending on him at any moment, if Harry were unable to escape, he didn't have much of a chance of surviving. If anything happened to him…

"That, they will, Snape. How is the potion you are making for me coming along?"

"Very well, Master. It will be a few more weeks until it is ready, but it is beginning to take on its final appearance. It appears the potion will most likely be ready to coincide with Potter's decision date. I have made several phials-worth, and they keep for a year." All five of the phials were waiting and ready, thanks to Hagrid, but, he no one here needed to know that.

"Very good… ah yes… I am so looking forward to using the potion on the boy. It will be a glorious day. Little Harry Potter will finally get what he deserves," said Voldemort as he emitted an eerie laugh. "That is all, for now, Snape. Unless I call, you need not return here for the next two weeks."

~*~

Harry awoke after only a few hours sleep, and looked around the dark room. No one had entered his rooms since the elder Malfoy had so rudely graced Harry with his presence the prior day, which he was thankful for. He was also relieved that no one had come by this morning thus far, but he had the feeling they would not leave him alone for long.

He entered the living room, furnished with silver and black leather furniture, a wrought-iron coffee table, and a large entertainment center, filled with Muggle devices. Harry smirked at the irony of it all. _Well, isn't he the hypocrite__?_ Harry rolled his eyes, then returned to the bedroom and sat on the bed. It was a queen-sized oak with a velvet forest green duvet, and was flanked on either side by two matching bedside tables. A matching wardrobe and chest of drawers completed the ensemble. Whoever had furnished this suite had spared no expense. There were large paintings on the cream-colored walls, most of which depicted dark wizards.

For all of the extravagance and warmth that the colors and decor seemed to radiate, the rooms had a somber feel to them. Harry wondered if this suite had been decorated in such a way as to lull its inhabitants into a false sense of security, and then have the facade pulled off to reveal the reality of what this house held.

He couldn't help but compare his current surroundings with the ones he had awoken to the previous morning: the cold and dreary cell. He vaguely remembered hearing voices and screams as he left the cell and wondered who inhabited them, even when he knew who the inhabitants most likely were – what Voldemort and his followers referred to as Mudbloods. He would have no use for them, so they were probably kept in cells until such time came that the Death Eaters needed a victim to further torture and kill.

Harry continued his musings for a while, and then thought he could hear Severus calling him.

_"Severus, did you just call me?"_

_"Yes, Harry. How are you? Did you manage to sleep any last night?"_

_"Maybe a couple of hours, but I am fine."_

_"Voldemort called on me this morning and informed me that you are in isolation for three weeks; no one will be allowed in your rooms until that time has passed."_

"_Why?_"

_"He wants to break your spirit, first by the isolation, then by me punishing you."_

_"I don't look forward to three weeks alone, but considering what the alternative could be, it is welcome."_

_"We are still trying to free you before then, but are running out of options. Draco is meeting with me today to inform me of some information he has. He will be of immense help in this situation, I believe. His father is more than likely behind your being where you are, so Draco should be able to find out what is happening, and when. If Lucius has one weakness, it is his blind trust of his son. He believes Draco is following in his footsteps and will not sleep peacefully until you are dead, along with the non-purebloods."_

_"Thinking of Draco as one of us is still strange, but I know how serious he is about bringing down Voldemort. When he and I last talked, he mentioned that his father was pressing him to get the Dark Mark. He then said that gathering information for Professor Dumbledore was one thing, but going so far as getting the Dark Mark, would not be something he wanted to do, but he hadn't made his final decision regarding that."_

_"I am relieved to hear that, Harry. Both Professor Dumbledore and I strongly encouraged Draco to make a clean break from Voldemort as soon as possible. Draco turns seventeen next week and that is usually when the children of Death Eaters are initiated. It is Draco's decision, of course, but the Headmaster has made his feelings on the subject very clear. He does not want Draco to end up as I did; he says I was noble, but stupid, and Draco is the same if he gets marked."_

_"Where will he go if he doesn't get it? He won't be able to remain with his parents."_

_"Until next term begins, he will go into hiding. I cannot tell you any more than that."_

_"I understand."_

_"I need to go, Harry, but after my meeting, I will let you know what I find out."_

_"Okay, Severus, be careful."_

_"I always am. Try to get some sleep, and that is an order."_

_"Yes, daddy dearest."_

_"Please don't say that." I am old enough; that is for sure._

_"Sorry… yeah… won't ever say that again."_

_"Bye, Harry. I miss you."_

_"I miss you, too, Severus. Bye."_

~*~

Draco had just seen his father off at the airport and was on his way to meet with Professor Snape. In his right hand, he carried a notebook, and on his left arm was his familiar: Salazar. The snake had been a gift from Professor Snape on Draco's sixteenth birthday and never left the boy's presence. Severus had given him the snake as a means to ensure his safety.

Few people realised that Draco was a Parselmouth; it wasn't looked upon as a positive attribute by most, therefore, Lucius had forbidden Draco to use the language around others. Lucius's family was one of the oldest and most influential families in the wizarding world. The elder Malfoy knew his son being a Parselmouth was not something that would be seen as an asset to non-Voldemort supporters, and The Malfoys had to maintain their status. Lucius also knew that Draco's ability could one day prove invaluable, thus withholding this hidden talent of Draco's, for Lucius, was his little secret weapon.

Draco entered The Leaky Cauldron and found a table in the back, away from the other inhabitants. He saw no sign of Professor Snape, but he'd arrived early, so he didn't expect him to be there yet. Opening the notebook, Draco removed the parchment on top and began reading the words that he had written.

_Voldemort - …Potter…rescue…_

_Lucius - …he will come…Lupin_

_Voldemort -…little game…_

_Lucius - …next game…keeps_

Draco knew this wasn't much, and thus far, he hadn't been able to make anything of it, but he was hopeful that either Professor Snape or the Headmaster could.

After overhearing his father mention a few days earlier that he was meeting with Voldemort, Draco had found a Muggle tape recorder and charmed it to record voices when they began speaking. He had shrunk it and somehow managed to slip it into his father's robe pocket before the elder Malfoy left.

Unfortunately, what information Draco had been able to glean from the tape was not at all clear. He had transcribed what could be understood, which wasn't much to go on, but any information could help.

"Hello, Draco. Have you been here long?" Severus swept into the seat across from Draco and noticed the parchment in the younger man's hand.

"Hello, Professor. I arrived about five minutes ago."

"May I see what you have for me?"

Draco pushed the piece of parchment towards Severus and looked at him, a worried look on his face. "I know it isn't much."

Severus shook his head and sighed as he began to read the words on the parchment. Draco really was trying his hardest to fit in; it was just unfortunate that he wasn't completely sure if he wanted to go against his father, which would be dangerous. Severus couldn't blame the boy, but he was trying his best to talk some sense into him. Fortunately, it seemed as though he and Albus were winning, but Severus knew Draco's situation was precarious, and as long as Lucius had a hold on his son… well, that wasn't good. Severus knew without a doubt whose side Draco was on, but he also knew that Draco might be forced to join the other side. Yes, if that happened he would end up like Severus, being a spy, which was better than the alternative, but Severus didn't want that for Draco. Regardless of what he wanted, however, what was going to be would be, and there wasn't much Severus could do about it. Shaking his head as he glanced towards Draco, who was conversing stealthily with his familiar, Severus turned his attention to the parchment he held in his hand. "Your father and Voldemort were meeting secretly, Draco, just the two of them – this is something. You did very well. We just have to figure out what that something is. Voldemort has Harry, so I am wondering if this was another plan to capture him. Exactly what day was this recorded, Draco?"

"On Saturday afternoon, the day after school let out," replied Draco as he looked around him.

"Hmm. This could very well be what is needed to discover what Voldemort has planned. Do you have any information about what is to happen to Harry, and when? Voldemort told me nothing would happen for three weeks, but that is not something I am inclined to believe."

"My father mentioned something before leaving about being anxious to return because he had some business to take care of at the Riddle House; he seemed very pleased with himself and said that Voldemort would reward him nicely and he would finally be able to get what was rightfully his. He made no direct reference to Harry, but as far back as I can remember, my father has always been obsessed with him, for reasons I have never been told. My father will return next Tuesday; that would be my guess as to when Harry will receive his first visitor."

Severus took a deep breath. He was about to make a strategic move, and he could only hope that it worked out in his favour. If it didn't, he was damning quite a few people to death. "I know exactly why your father is obsessed with Harry, Draco. I will tell you because you deserve to know what motivates your father, and how sinister these motivations are, but you must give me your word that what I am about to tell you will not be repeated. I am only telling you this now because I want you to understand how very much I want you on our side – completely on our side. I understand that you think perhaps you can play both sides, and perhaps you can. That is not a life you want to lead, though, Draco. Believe me, I speak from experience."

"I promise not to say anything." Draco ignored almost everything he'd been told; he only wanted to know about his father. Any information regarding his father, who was an extremely guarded man, was welcome. Lucius Malfoy was not an easy person to get close to. Draco had grown up without really knowing him. The relationship between the two Malfoy men had always been more business-like than familial.

Severus sensed Draco's eagerness and continued. "It all stems from when we were in fifth year. As you know, your father; Harry's father, James; Sirius Black; Remus Lupin, and I were all in the same year. Just as now, the house rivalries were as fierce as ever. Hormones, however, did not care about such things as rivalries. Your father was attracted to James Potter, and it was not a fleeting occurrence – Lucius fell hard for James. I cannot say if James returned the feelings to the same degree as your father, but I am certain that he was attracted to Lucius. I am not at all certain what happened between the two because as far-gone as Lucius was, his Slytherin side would not allow him to ever reveal anything regarding his relationship. I do believe your father and James had some form of a relationship, however; I think we all knew. This all happened around Christmas, fifth year. Just as Lucius was, James was going to remain true to his Gryffindor side. Goaded by his friends, James began taunting Lucius and playing nasty tricks on him and his friends, which did include me, but we also played our share of dirty tricks on James and his friends, as well.

"I never liked James much, but I can honestly say that if it were not for his friends constantly pushing him – Sirius Black, to be exact – James and Lucius might have actually remained together longer than they did. Slytherin's are well-versed at getting what they want without being caught. As completely mad as it sounds to say today, the two of them would have been good for each other. Even with all of the back and forth taunts and jabs, I could tell that there was definitely something between them.

"However, the situation being what it was, the two eventually ended up enemies. By the time we left school, your father wanted to make James pay for making his life the hell it was. There was no talking to your father; I tried to make him see how twisted his thoughts were, but he wouldn't listen. He was so consumed with revenge that he couldn't see straight.

"Draco, the night that James Potter died, your father cried in my arms. He wouldn't talk about it; he only said it was really over. I didn't enquire as to what he meant, I just held him until he had no more tears to cry. This is purely conjecture on my part, Draco, but I believe your father saw James as his last refuge from completely going over to the dark side. When their relationship ended, and then again when James died, Lucius lost all hope and became totally consumed with the dark arts.

"After that night, nothing was ever mentioned between us about James until your and Harry's second year. I am sure you recall seeing Harry at the Lockhart book-signing." Seeing Draco nod, Severus continued. "Well, that was the first time your father ever saw Harry. Apparently, seeing him affected Lucius in a very bad way. He stormed out of the store and ran into me as he was trying to leave. I could tell he was upset, so I made him tell me what was wrong. He told me whom he had seen, and said Harry looked just like James. Then he looked at me and had the most sinister look on his face. His next words sent chills down my spine. He said James was embarrassed to be with a Malfoy, but his son would not ever say the same. He would get Harry, and have what was his. At first I thought maybe he was alluding to you and Harry getting together, and I asked about that. He made himself perfectly clear that Harry was to be his. I knew then that your father had lost all touch with reality.

"What started out as a very unfortunate situation between your two fathers has evolved into a sinister game of revenge aimed towards Harry. It scares me, Draco, to think of what your father could do to Harry. I have been assigned as Harry's trainer, but in this situation, I do not think Voldemort would deny Lucius the opportunity to see Harry. Of course, Voldemort would think Lucius just wanted him for meaningless sex; he has no idea, not that it would matter, that Lucius would put Harry through a night of hell on earth."

Severus knew his voice was full of emotion, but he didn't care. He feared for Harry and was not going to hide that fact from anyone, with the exception of anyone who bore the Dark Mark.

Draco saw the change in his professor's demeanor; he was curious, but knew that it wasn't up for discussion, so he wisely ignored it, just as he wished he could ignore what he had been told about his father, but it all made too much sense, and Draco knew it had to be the truth. "I don't know what to say. Father never talks about his past; once he did begin to tell me about one of his family vacations, but he suddenly stopped and left the room abruptly." Draco shrugged his shoulders.

"Draco, your father was raised in the strictest of fashions, as was I; we grew up together, and the two of us shared much more than the same birth year. I feel most uncomfortable talking to you about this, but as before, it is time you learned something of why your father is the way he is. He certainly will not tell you." And Severus would never forgive Lucius that. How he could have brought a beautiful child into the world and not brought him up properly, Severus was at a loss; it just didn't make sense. Severus had wanted a child more than anything, and one of his greatest regrets was that he'd never been able be the father he so wanted to be.

"Your grandfather was extremely demanding and expected nothing short of perfection, Draco. Lucius, as was I, was a free spirit; we both loved to run around and play, not having a care in the world. We were the youngest of our families and tried to get away with much more than we should have, but we were just being children.

"We were best friends who were both horribly abused. Our parents thought that they could beat compliance into our heads. Unlike me, who continued doing as I pleased, Lucius eventually managed to modify his behavior in order to avoid the harsh beatings. By the time we entered Hogwarts, your father was the perfect Malfoy, as his father called him. He exemplified everything a dark wizard should, and this made his father proud. Since then, he and I have had a strained relationship. While still being friends, Lucius scoffed at my inability to comply with my parents' expectations. He also never forgave me for resisting the call of Voldemort. Your father received the Dark Mark on his seventeenth birthday, but I refused. As you know, I eventually got it anyway.

"Draco, I can assure you, there is a good person underneath the mask your father wears. I think he shut down his emotions and became what his father expected of him. Now he is consumed with what his life has become. I cannot stand Lucius Malfoy, Draco, but I love your father, and I always will." Severus briefly looked away to regain his bearings. He _would not_ become emotional over Lucius Malfoy.

Draco, the same as Severus, refused to allow himself to show any emotion. What a sad and unfortunate testament to their similar upbringings. Abuse came in many forms, not merely physical. "Thank you, Professor. I love him too; I just don't like him so much." He mightn't allow his emotions to be known, but he couldn't help the small frown that appeared.

So very transparent, Draco was. Severus inclined his head. "If you ever need to talk, Draco, you know where to find me."

The young Slytherin nodded because he couldn't speak.

Severus stood and retrieved the parchment from the table. "I should be going; thank you again for the information, Draco. I will owl you with any information we find; please do the same."

"Yes, sir… Professor, thank you for telling me about my father. It has already helped."

Severus hoped his words had helped and that Draco wasn't merely bluffing. "I am glad. Tell your mother hello for me, if you would. Bye, Draco." After shaking hands, both men went their separate ways.

Severus sighed and took a deep breath. He hadn't intended on telling Draco what he had, but circumstances being such as they were, he thought it necessary for Draco to understand what his father's motivations were, twisted though they were.

Reliving his and Lucius's past had not been a pleasant experience and he did not wish to think about it, so he quickly shifted his attention back to the parchment Draco had given him. _I have to figure out what these words mean so I can save Harry. I will solve this; I have to – for Harry._

Severus quickly made his way back to Hogwarts and entered the Headmaster's office. "Albus, Draco gave me this." Severus handed the parchment to the Headmaster and waited for a response. When nothing had been said after a minute or two, Severus found his patience had left him. "What do you think?"

Albus set down the parchment and looked at Severus, a frown on his face. "I do not see how this could be possible, but it appears as such. It would confirm Harry's visions."

"Would you care to enlighten me?" Severus asked, exasperatedly. "Not all of us have omniscient powers as you do." It was a joke… for the most part.

"You really should work on your patience, Severus. It is a virtue, you know," said a smiling Albus Dumbledore as he stood from his chair and walked out from behind his desk. "Voldemort is trying to lure Harry to him, and from what is on this parchment, it seems that maybe Remus or possibly Sirius is alive, and will be used to get Harry."

Severus furrowed a brow but nodded his agreement. He hadn't a clue as to how Albus had got that from those words, but if Severus knew one thing, it was that Albus was usually correct in his assumptions. "We must find out, Albus if this is in fact true. I will not allow Harry to go through what he went through this weekend, again. There are certain things that are not adding up – this could indeed be true, but in Harry's vision, the words 'would eventually have' were used, not 'have'. When this recording was made, as well as when Harry had his vision that referred to eventually having someone that would lure Harry, the attack on the Dursleys had already taken place."

Albus looked pointedly at Severus. "You must inform Draco of our suspicions and ask him to do some sleuthing around his father."

"Lucius is in Rome for the week."

"When he returns, then."

"Harry knows I was meeting with Draco. What should I tell him?"

"That is entirely up to you, Severus. He will know if you are holding something from him, so I suggest you give him the words from the parchment and see what he thinks. From there, use your judgment. Regardless of what you tell him, this information must remain between you, Draco, Harry and me."

"I will go try to talk with him now." Severus turned and walked out of the Headmaster's office without another word. He was preoccupied with this latest development. Why would this be true? What would Voldemort have to gain, other than luring Harry to him? Harry had already been taken to Voldemort._ It just does not make sense._

~*~

"Hello Mr Domino, my name is Lucius Malfoy. I was told you had a delivery for me, and that I was to collect it this afternoon."

"Hello, Mr Malfoy," the other man sad as the two shook hands. "Yes, it is quite unusual for such deliveries to exchange hands, but I was assured that you were the only person to be trusted with this."

Lucius smirked and peered behind the large desk, perhaps expecting to catch a glimpse of his most special delivery.

"One moment, Mr Malfoy; I will go collect your cargo now."

Lucius smiled a rather wicked smile and sat down. His master would be pleased, and would reward him; he always had. Lucius was smirking mirthlessly now; he did not ask for much, no, he just wanted what was his.

Mr Domino returned after a few minutes with a large crate. After Lucius signed for the rather large item and after some fake pleasantries, the very pleased with himself Death Eater departed with his acquisition.

~*~

Severus couldn't decide how to approach this latest development with Harry, who had already been through such an ordeal. Severus wasn't sure if he could go through it again. _I cannot say anything until I have more information. He may know I am hiding something from him, but it cannot be helped._

_"Harry?"_

_"Hey, Severus, any news?"_

_"Not at the moment, no. Draco has some ideas, but we are going to have to research the information before anything conclusive can be drawn. I will keep you updated on what we find. How are you fairing?"_

_"Okay, I guess. No one has come to see me today; how long that will last, I don't know."_

_"Voldemort is not going his usual route with you, Harry, so I do not know exactly what his plan is." _

Severus knew that Voldemort would strike soon. Voldemort telling Severus that nothing would happen for three weeks didn't seem believable, and his talk with Draco had only reconfirmed his thoughts. There was no way in hell that the Dark Lord could keep himself and the others from their most prized possession for such a prolonged period. Severus was scared to death of what Lucius could do to Harry, but he couldn't frighten Harry with his fears, not yet, anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The following days went by in a haze: Severus and Albus spent just about every waking moment trying to find out any information that could help them get Harry back: The Order met the Thursday after he'd been taken, and the majority of the meeting, which had been scheduled to discuss their plans to defeat Voldemort, was instead spent discussing the several different scenarios of how Harry could be rescued.

While most of the ideas that the Order put forward seemed plausible, and even desirable, not a one of them could be carried out without the possibility of deaths occurring. At some point, that unfortunate probability wouldn't matter and the Order would go in with force if need be, but Albus knew that the plan Severus and Harry were going to try (using their combined magic to help Harry escape), could succeed without endangering anyone's life. He also knew that the plans that the Order had suggested could very well end in the death of Harry, which was not at all an option. Of course, this meant Harry would have to wait until Voldemort allowed Severus to see him, but Harry had made it very clear to Severus that this was the only way; he would not have anyone needlessly losing their life when it wasn't necessary. Albus could only hope that Voldemort would allow Harry and Severus to see each other sooner rather than later. Everyone was worried about what was happening to Harry – most of all, Severus, who wished he could spend all his time talking to him.

One thing was for certain: this – Harry's kidnapping – had made everything very clear to Severus: he was, in fact, in love with Harry Potter and he did in fact intend to tell Harry that when they rescued him. He hadn't a clue what that would mean for them, but he would be damned if he never had a chance to tell Harry how he felt about him. It still upset him that he had these feelings, especially knowing that it was a bond that was likely precipitating all of this, but it was what it was, and Severus was tired of fighting it. He only hoped he could be true to his word and wait until Harry left school before acting on his feelings.

~*~

True to his word, Voldemort hadn't sent anyone in to see Harry, other than house-elves who delivered his food twice a day and asked if he needed anything, which he never did. Harry had read some books that he'd found on the bookshelf, but most of his days and nights were spent thinking about Severus. The two of them had talked several times every day, and those talks were what kept Harry in a somewhat good mood. He longed to see Severus again.

~*~

"You are early, Lucius; we were not expecting you for two days. Did you not find Rome to your liking?"

"Master, Rome was the same as always. Narcissa was called away and we did not want to leave Draco alone, so I decided to return early."

"It is refreshing to see you taking such an interest in your son, Lucius. Your guidance will be invaluable to him when he receives the Dark Mark next week." Voldemort's voice betrayed the calm he was trying to convey. It was widely known that Lucius had as little to do with his son as possible.

"He will be an excellent addition to our number, and he is looking forward to helping you in any way possible." Lucius's voice faltered as he said those last few words, and he received a questioning look from the Dark Lord.

"Enough! I do not expect that you have presented yourself to me in order for small talk about your son; what is on your mind, Lucius?" asked an irritated Voldemort, his red eyes glowering.

"I only wanted to inform you that I brought back that which you requested." Lucius carefully schooled his face, but on the inside he was smiling. He'd have to be rewarded for this.

"Very good, Lucius, you have again made me proud. It is a pity we must wait to unveil it."

"I agree. Master, have you thought about what I asked you before I left?"

"I have. It is so very tempting for me to grant you this request, but Lucius, until Severus has visited the boy, he is off limits, and that is not up for discussion. Afterwards, Potter is fair game to all. Was there anything else?"

"No, Master, that is all." Lucius was fuming on the inside, but knew better than to show his emotions unless he wanted to suffer, and he was not in the mood to suffer; he wanted to make someone else suffer. _Voldemort is using Potter as Severus's test of true loyalty -- the man was a traitor, and now he is being rewarded with Potter. What was I thinking? Well, I may not have got permission, but since when has that stopped me from getting what was mine? Never._

~*~

_"Hi, William. Need some company?"_

_"Sure, Harry. You look sad."_

_"I don't think I have very much longer to live."_

_"Why would you say that?_

_"Voldemort has me, and it will take a miracle to get me out. We have a plan, but I don't know if we are strong enough for it to work."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I have a soul mate; together, it is thought that our powers may enable me to escape. To do this, we're going to have to be able to use every fiber of magic that we have, and that includes everything we have learned from the time we were born."_

_"Wow, that sounds complicated."_

_"It is. My soul mate, he will not tell me, but I know that he is missing some of his magic that he learned as a child. He has no memories of that time; he has blocked them out."_

_"How do you know this, Harry?"_

_"I can sense it; he and I are gaining new magical abilities, and that is one that I have recently acquired."_

_"You should talk to him and tell him. Perhaps he needs someone to help him recover these memories."_

_"You are right, Wlliam. I will do that, thanks."_

_"You're welcome."_

_"I should go; talk to you soon, William."_

_"Bye, Harry."_

Harry had fallen asleep on the floor, and woke up when he heard a noise coming from the door. He saw the doorknob turn, and his heart began beating much faster. He had known that someone eventually would have to make their presence known, but now that the time had arrived, Harry was apprehensive.

The door opened, revealing a somber and evil looking Lucius Malfoy.

"What are you staring at Potter?"

Harry remained motionless; his glare intensified as he silently cursed Draco's father with every curse he could think of. Harry grinned inwardly. _I__t sure would be nice if I could just wish him dead – yeah, like that would work – I doubt anyone could ever be powerful enough to do that._

"Still insolent as ever, I see. Very well, you may sulk; it is of no concern to me what you think or how you feel. I only came here for, how shall I put this... a little recompense." Lucius had been standing just inside the doorway, leaning against the wall, but began advancing towards Harry.

Harry didn't flinch; he would remain passive. Whatever Lucius had in mind, Harry wouldn't make it easy for him to accomplish. He fixed his stare at Malfoy as if daring him to approach.

"Stand up, Potter."

No response.

"I said, stand up, NOW!"

Lucius's face was turning red and Harry could hear the anger and malice in his voice. He was tempted to do as he had been told, but he wouldn't give in.

Lucius closed the gap between them quickly, grabbed Harry's left arm, and jerked him to a standing position. "You better learn to listen to me, boy. When I tell you something, you better mind me, do you understand?"

Harry wouldn't say anything, no matter what. He _would not_ acknowledge this Death Eater. Before he could react, he was flung down to the sofa with a violent slap across the face.

"Now perhaps you will listen."

Lucius was only inches above Harry, who was trying to get himself into the smallest form he could manage. He curled up in the corner of the sofa, but never removed the glare from his face. His face stung, but he made no reaction after being slapped. How dare he…

Lucius expression turned from an evil grin to a satisfied look, then he smiled. He had found his prey and was going to enjoy... the kill? No -Lucius couldn't go that far – no one could know he'd been here. He would, however, enjoy the slow and painful bliss he would be inflicting on Potter, the boy who looked so much like his father, the boy, who would stop Lucius in his tracks if he looked at him with those eyes his father had.

Harry noticed the change in his attacker, and had a good idea what was coming, and just to confirm his thought, a fist met his left eye, sending him over the arm of the sofa. Harry crawled up on his knees and faced Malfoy. There was no escape, no way out. He was cornered, and his only choice was to remain where he was. He could run, try to get out, scream, and shout, but he knew none of those things would matter. These rooms were Voldemort's personal torture chambers, and what went on inside these walls couldn't be heard or seen by anyone other than Voldemort. Severus had told him this in one of their conversations. Severus hadn't called it a torture chamber – that was Harry's personal observation, especially now. Part of him was terrified, but another part of him resigned himself to his fate. It could be worse, he mused, although, at the moment, he wasn't sure what could be worse than what was probably about to happen to him. Whatever happened, he refused to give the man the satisfaction of a scream or a sob. No, Harry was going to take this like a man. There'd be time for tears later. He looked up at Luicus defiantly.

The elder Malfoy harshly picked Harry up off the ground and threw him on the sofa face down. "I have waited a very long time for this, Potter, and you will not deny me; you will not look down upon me as your father did; you will not have the chance to publicly laugh at me while we secretly become lovers. You will be everything your father could not be to me."

Harry sharply turned his head to look at Malfoy with hatred. How dare he bring his father into this.

"Why do you look so shocked, Potter? Did you not know that your father and I once... were lovers? Oh yes... we were, and we made passionate love and spent hours on end together. I loved him, and he loved me. Oh yes, it is all true, Potter. Ask... well, I guess you cannot ask him now, well, anyway... it is true. I guess he could not handle me being the little Death Eater, so he dropped me as if he was putting out the trash. I gave him everything and he spat me out. Pay back can be hell, but it can also be so very sweet."

_Oh... not true.. .cannot be true... he is just saying that... my father… with that? No._"You're lying, Malfoy; my father would never lower himself to the likes of you." Now it was Harry who turned red with anger. "All lies, Malfoy."

"Believe what you wish, Potter, it makes no difference to me. I only came here for one thing, and your acceptance of what I said, is not it. Your father was really good Potter, and I am counting on you to be the same." Lucius grabbed Harry by the clasp and tore off his robe, then with a wave of his wand he removed all of Harry's clothes. "Ah...delectable...just like your father... mmmmm."

Harry had been pushed on his stomach and was being held down with a spell Lucius had cast. No matter his attempts to keep them at bay, the tears began to fall, but no sound would escape his lips.

_"I love you, Severus… I love you, Severus... I love you, Severus..."_

Lucius got behind Harry, and Harry felt the man as he was just inches above him, and he could feel Lucius as he got closer. Harry closed his eyes preparing himself for the pain that would follow. This wasn't really happening… it was a dream… a nightmare.

Lucius tried to enter Harry, but couldn't – something solid blocked his entrance. He raised his body and came down hard; he would impale the boy if need be and not worry about damaging him. Damn the Dark Lord and his orders. But again, his path was blocked.

Harry wanted to know what was going on. He kept expecting Lucius to rip through him at any moment, but nothing happened. Seconds passed, and eventually minutes. Harry, still petrified, began thinking he might get out of this yet.

Lucius tried again and again, but with no success. The boy didn't have his wand with him, so Lucius couldn't figure out what was going on.

"I do not know what you are up to Potter, but you can be sure that I will be back, and next time, you will not get off so lightly." Lucius yanked Harry up by his right arm, threw him off the sofa and up against the wall, then kicked him in the ribs a few times before leaving.

Harry gasped for air; he couldn't breathe. His eye had swollen shut, and he ached all over, but he shuddered to think what his condition would be had Lucius Malfoy actually raped him. Harry didn't understand. Why _hadn't_ he been raped? Harry didn't understand. He'd felt the man lift up and push down several times, but nothing had ever happened. He'd felt a lot of pressure, but nothing had entered him. He'dd felt the older man's breath on his shoulders and his heavy panting. Then it had suddenly stopped, and Lucius left. But he'd said he'd be back. If Harry hadn't been particularly worried minutes before, he was now.

_Hard to breathe... gasp... breathe in… breathe out... gasp... help me, Sev... please... cannot br... cannot br..._

Harry passed out.

~*~

Severus was frustrated because no one was coming up with any new information. Harry had been gone far too long, and Severus was worried. Draco had sent an owl two days earlier with news that his father had picked up a delivery in Rome and was bringing it to Voldemort. Severus couldn't connect it to Harry, but he knew it had to do with him – it had to.

_"I love you, Severus... I love you, Severus... I love you, Severus..."_

Severus heard Harry's cries and knew something was wrong. They had talked numerous times through their connection, but never had either of them said anything remotely intimate, at least not this intimate, and Severus knew that Harry wouldn't be saying this unless he were in imminent danger.

_"Harry? I am here... what is wrong? Please say something."_

Severus could feel a presence around his body, but didn't receive anything from Harry in return, which panicked him. Since they had discovered their unique connection, they had talked often, and when one began a conversation, the other followed seconds later. "Albus Dumbledore's Office, he said as he ran to the fireplace and through in the Floo powder."

"You called, Severus?"

"Albus, Harry just called out to me and he was crying; something is wrong."

"Severus, you must calm yourself. Did anything else happen?"

"When I tried talking to him, I could feel a presence surrounding my body, but he didn't respond."

"He must be under great distress, Severus; it is probable that the presence you felt was his energy that he needed to respond to you with. Severus, when you send him messages you are sending him magic, and vice versa. My advice would be to keep talking to him. We have no idea what will happen, but I think at this moment we are rather at the mercy of an unproven science. It is doubtful that he can do anything without you being present, but you must try, Severus. We need to get him out of there."

Severus couldn't agree more. "Albus, I will do anything to help Harry." After seeing Albus's head disappear, Severus began talking to Harry, saying anything to get a response, but none ever came.

Severus had always been in control of his emotions when around others by wearing a mask of indifference, but left to his own devices, he let his emotions take him where he needed to be, and this was one of those times he needed to cry, and so he did. He felt so very helpless. He didn't want to allow himself to think anything bad could have happened, but what other explanation could there be?

_"Harry, please, answer me."_

_"Help me, Sev, please."_

Falling on the sofa as sobs overtook him, Severus felt warmth surrounding him, and when he looked at his body, it was surrounded by a red aura. Not knowing what this meant, Severus continued looking at the red energy radiating off his body in awe. Knowing that this could be a result of their connection, he began trying to speak to Harry again.

_"Come get me, Sev."_

_"I wish I could, Harry, but I do not know where the Riddle House is."_

_"No, Sev, not there... can't breathe... in forest... hurt... please come... hurry."_

Severus was out the door when he heard Harry say the word forest. He ran up the stairs making his way to the entrance hall. Once outside, he took off towards the forbidden forest, and headed for the Apparition zone, the place where he left and reentered Hogwarts when attending Death Eater meetings. If Harry were not there, Severus didn't know how long it would take to find him and he knew Harry was hurt.

"_I'm coming, Harry."_

Through the trees, Severus saw a green glowing light encircling something on the ground.

_"Hold on, Harry, I am coming." _

Severus ran the few final yards and dropped down beside the naked still form of Harry, who was unconscious, took off his cloak, and wrapped it around Harry, then lifted the young man into his arms. "Harry, it worked... you are safe." Severus ran as quickly as he could, entered the castle, and made his way to the hospital wing. As he entered, he was reminded that this was the second time in nine days that he'd entered this room with Harry in his arms. "Poppy, I've got Harry, and he's hurt."

Poppy quickly made her way over to the bed Severus had just placed Harry on. "Where did you find him, Severus?" She talked as she assessed the severity of Harry's injuries.

"He was in the forest. He—" Severus stopped. Poppy hadn't been made aware of Harry's and his newfound abilities, and Severus could tell she was about to begin asking questions – ones he wasn't at liberty to divulge the answers to. "It's too complicated a story to go into now, Poppy."

Several minutes later Severus turned to face the door when he heard it open, and watched as the Headmaster made his way over to Harry. A few seconds later, he looked back at Severus. "You and Harry did it, Severus," he said as he looked at Harry and shook his head. "He looks like he has been through quite a harrowing ordeal."

Severus thought that was a rather huge understatement. Harry looked bloody awful.

Poppy nodded at the assessment. "I have already given him healing potions; he should be completely healed within a day or two, but he'll remain in an induced sleep for the next six hours. He should be awake for supper. I suggest the two of you go get some rest while he is asleep because I know once he wakes up, there'll not be much resting done by either of you." She then looked at Severus and gave him a reassuring smile. She remembered how he had reacted the last time he'd brought Harry into the hospital wing; she wasn't sure of what was going on, but she knew Severus wouldn't leave Harry's side. "Severus, you may use the bed next to Harry if you would like."

Severus nodded his appreciation and gave a slight smile to Poppy before returning his attention to Harry.

"Severus," Albus said, as he headed towards the door, "you should take Poppy up on her offer; you haven't had much sleep since Harry's been gone, and he will be needing us when he wakes." The Headmaster gave Severus a pointed look that said please.

Severus took Harry's pale hand in his and squeezed it with both of his, and sent a thought to the young man who seemed to have stolen his heart… again.

_"Welcome home, Harry."_

~*~

Severus slept for five hours, but as soon as he was awake, he was by Harry's side waiting for him to regain consciousness. A few minutes later Severus felt movement from the right hand that he held. It was weak, but he could feel Harry squeezing it. Over the next five minutes, Severus watched as Harry slowly woke up. When he finally pried his eyes open, couldn't have been easy because of the injury to his left eye, he was looking directly into Severus's eyes.

"I missed you, Sev," said a weak Harry, but he did manage a small smile before he coughed.

"I missed you too, Harry." Severus replied as he watched Harry grimace in pain; several of his ribs had been broken, and Severus knew how much that hurt. Each of his ribs had been broken at least once in the service of the Dark Lord. Severus frowned, then leaned in closer to the young man whom he'd almost lost. "You are safe, Harry. You are home."

Harry coughed again and groaned in pain, but it wasn't bad as it had been a few minutes earlier, so that was encouraging, and Harry needed some encouraging news. "You heard me calling you; I could feel you surrounding me with your magic, Sev. It hurt so badly, but I knew you would come." Harry managed to raise his left hand, the one Severus was not holding, and reached over to touch Severus's face. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I am here, and you can see me all you want, Harry."

Harry managed a smile before launching into another coughing spell. This one was worse than the others. Severus got Harry into a sitting position, got on the bed and sat behind him, and brought the still coughing Harry back so his back was against Severus's chest, then he bent Harry over so his head was almost touching the bed." Cough it all up, Harry.

It was difficult to watch Harry like this, but Severus vowed to not leave. He watched as Harry continued to rid his body of the excess phlegm. It was far more than Severus liked to see, but he knew there was plenty more to come. Poppy'd said Harry would be coughing quite a bit to rid his system of the excess fluid that had built up in his lungs and chest. Harry's ribs were in danger of puncturing his lungs. As much as his injuries would heal, the results of the injuries might take longer to heal: Harry would have to be watched closely for signs of pneumonia. His situation was quite serious now, but pneumonia would definitely be worse. Severus could only hope that this bond they shared might speed up Harry's recovery.

After Harry ceased coughing, Severus got off the bed and gently returned him to his previous position. Harry was so very weak, and the look in his eyes broke Severus's heart. It was as if Harry were pleading with him to make it all better. _Just tell me what to do; I'll do anything._

Madam Pomfrey returned about an hour later, and was pleased to see her young patient doing as well as he was. She took Harry's temperature, pulse, checked his blood pressure, and replaced the IV bag that she had hooked up to get more nutrients into his system. His temperature had gone down a degree, but was still too high for comfort. She gave Severus a bowl of ice water and some flannels, and asked him to apply them to Harry's body and to make sure they remained cold. Severus was thankful to have something to do – he felt helpless.

Lying in the hospital bed allowed Harry all the time in the world to think, and think he did – of him and Severus. Before he'd been kidnapped, Harry had known his feelings for Severus were growing, but he hadn't been sure how much his feelings had to do with love, and how much they had to do with gratitude. Being held a prisoner as he had, Harry'd quickly realised he missed Severus more than he had ever missed anyone, and he'd found himself replaying their past conversations and holding on to those memories for dear life.

There were so many things Harry was still confused about, such as: were these feelings even his if he and Severus were under the influence of this thing that Severus had told him about? He felt disheartened to know that they mightn't be, but one thing that he did know with certainty was: bond or no bond, he loved Severus Snape.

A few minutes later, when sleep claimed Harry, Severus noticed how peaceful he appeared. Again, his thoughts returned to his previous visit with Harry to the hospital wing. He had loved Harry before that unfortunate day, but the changes that he had gone through over the past nine days proved to him that if he thought he had known what love was then, he'd been mistaken. The way he felt sitting next to Harry's sleeping body in no way compared to the feelings Severus thought he'd had before any of this happened. Severus never knew such love could exist.

_Just a note to say that I'll be out of town tomorrow and Saturday, so there probably won't be another update until Sunday._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"You called, Master?"

"Yes, Lucius, I did call you," replied Voldemort, his voice dripping with anger regarding his wayward follower's acrimonious behavior. "Where is Mr Potter?"

"What do you mean? I… haven't seen him recently, My Lord," said Lucius, sounding rather apathetic about the situation: He was well-versed at lying, or bending the truth, as it were, to suit his personal needs, and not even the prospect of doing so to the Dark Lord seemed to deter him. He had done plenty of revision in school and had continued that in his career as a Death Eater: He'd learned the habits of others over the years, and learned to say what those people wanted to hear. He had moved up quickly in Voldemort's circle by using his cunning abilities.

Unfortunately, his brashness and supreme confidence in himself did not allow Lucius to see what was right in front of him: Voldemort never asked a question of his Death Eaters without knowing the answer beforehand.

"Is that so, Lucius?" the former anger gone, replaced by a softer, amused lilt as Voldemort spoke.

"Yes, My Lord. I did see him the day he was brought to you, but not since."

"That is most interesting. You see... when the house-elves delivered Mr Potter's supper last evening, the boy was nowhere to be found, and upon further inspection, would you be interested to know what was discovered?"

"I am curious," was Lucius's rather nonchalant reply, but his voice was not quite so haughty-sounding now, nor was his mood quite as happy. Perhaps he had misjudged the Dark Lord.

"Dried blood was discovered on one of the walls, a trail of blood that led to the sofa was found, and some long blond hairs that were clumped together in the corner of the sofa were also spotted. Most interesting of all, Lucius, we discovered that you had been the last one to enter. I personally checked the surveillance that some of my other _so-called followers _were supposed to have been watching, and found that you had entered the suite at 12:30. If I recall correctly, you and I spoke briefly before that time, and if you recall, I specifically forbade you to have any meetings with the boy until after Severus had. Have you anything to say, Lucius?" Voldemort took a step back and assessed his wayward follower: It was unfortunate that such an otherwise good, subservient minion had done such a foolish thing: he would have to be punished.

Lucius knew that he wasn't getting out of this; his lies had been uncovered. How very unfortunate that he had forgotten about the surveillance. He normally would have disconnected it, yet this time he had forgotten about it – his giddiness at the prospect of raping Harry Potter had rendered him unable to think normally, as had his thoughts surrounding his son, but those thoughts were ones he could not afford to think about presently. He had to be in the moment and completely amenable to whatever the Dark Lord said, no matter his changing beliefs: He had a role to play just as everyone else did.

He silently waited to be reprimanded like the good follower he was – he would fight for anything he thought belonged to him, but he knew he was no match for the Dark Lord, and he also knew that it was futile to attempt any explanations. Even had he been in the right, which, he had, of course, and the Dark Lord in the wrong, the winner would always be the latter – that inevitability was non-negotiable. As Lucius waited, he sneered in Voldemort's general direction as if the current situation hadn't affected him in the least.

"You saw the boy and obviously you and he had some sort of altercation. Where is he? I demand an answer, NOW, Lucius!"

"My Lord, I will not deny any longer that I saw Potter. Yes, we fought, but when I left, the boy was still there. I have not taken him anywhere. You have my word."

"Your word? Lucius, my slippery friend, how very naïve you must think me if you believe I'd take what you said seriously because you gave me your _word_." Voldemort studied Lucius's face for deception, and to his great consternation, he found none: It appeared as though Lucius were being truthful. "You appear to be telling the truth; however, the fact remains that Potter is not where he should be, and you were the last person to see him – it is only logical to connect the two. Have you any ideas as to what might have happened to him?"

"No, My Lord. He is Harry bloody Potter. Luck and good-fortune seem to follow him wherever he goes. Perhaps he could have just… disappeared," he added, the slightest hint of jest in his voice. "I have no answers for you, My Lord, but I can help you search for him, however."

"Yes, Lucius, you will help me find the boy and return him here. For now, however, you have disobeyed me and are suspect in the disappearance of Potter, thus you must be reprimanded for your misdeeds. What do you think would be an appropriate punishment?"

Lucius carefully schooled his face – this was why he did his best to remain on the good side of his master; punishments were cruel and lengthy. He had only been punished during his servitude of the Dark Lord, once, and that had been enough to keep him on Voldemort's good side since. He'd swore that day that he'd do nothing to merit a repeat performance. "Whatever you deem necessary, Master, I will submit." There were no other answers; Lucius knew he was about to suffer.

"If I recall correctly, last time you were given to the inner-circle for a month." Voldemort plastered a huge wicked grin on his face before continuing. "Now, you being a member of said inner-circle, my tactics must change. You somehow managed to lose me my most important weapon, Malfoy, and that is cause for personal vindication. You might have thought you had it rough with my inner-circle, but you will shortly be begging for that level of roughness. You, Lucius, will be mine for the next six months. Oh yes, you will continue your activities as usual: return to you wife at night, act the _loving father_, but you will also have other responsibilities. I believe you are familiar with what my personal servant has done in the past? Yes, I thought you would be. Lucius, you are to be my whipping board, my whore, my slave, and whatever else I decide. If I believe you are getting out of line, I will bring in others to restrain your wayward ways.

"Crucio.

"Crucio.

"Crucio.

"Crucio.

"Get out of my sight, Malfoy, before I finish you off."

**~*~**

_"No... stop... hurts... help... please... Sev!!!"_

Harry awoke to Severus shaking him, and he tried to regain his breath and calm his racing heartbeat. He'd been back in the Riddle House: Lucius had returned, just as promised. Harry'd felt himself being beaten and pushed, then he'd felt himself being thrown against a wall and pushed to the ground. He'd tried to scream but nothing escaped his lips. He had seen Lucius's lips moving, but heard nothing. It had all been in slow motion. Then he'd felt as if he were on fire, and had thought he would die at any moment.

Severus touched Harry's face lightly to reassure him that he was safe, but Harry flinched and pulled away in response. Severus, not sure what to think, withdrew his hand and backed away, then he retrieved a phial of the potion that would counter the effects of the Cruciatus. He handed the phial to Harry, who drank it, and watched as the potion eased the tension on Harry's face. Severus was relieved that the potion had worked so quickly, but he was also curious. Harry seemed not to be reacting as he usually did after being under Cruciatus; he looked scared, but he hadn't writhed in pain as much as usual.

Harry fell back to sleep, leaving Severus to ponder what he'd just witnessed. There could be no doubt as to why Harry had reacted as he had to his touch, and it made Severus want to go kill someone. He thought back to one of his sadder memories as he watched Harry sleep.

_Severus entered the large study that he had been in on so many other occasions; this had been a second home to him for several months before he left Hogwarts. He took a seat across from the Headmaster's desk and waited for the man behind it to begin._

_"Hello, Severus. I was surprised to hear that you were here. How is your summer?"_

_Severus couldn't speak so he did the only thing he could and raised the long sleeve that covered his left arm. There, on his upper arm was the Dark Mark, surrounded by red skin._

_"Oh, Severus. Why?"_

_"Headmaster, I just had to do it. Please do not make me elaborate. I only came here to inform you that I did not receive the Mark to work for the Dark Lord, I received it to work for you, against him."_

_"If that is the reason you did this, Severus, you disappoint me, son. I understand that you have a lifetime of wrongs against you that need to be righted, and you think this will allow you that opportunity, but let me assure you, the Mark will only bring you sorrow. What is done is done, and I welcome you with open arms to our plight, Severus, but I will not hide my disappointment; I thought you incapable of such a thing, even if it is for a good cause."_ _The Headmaster stood and walked over to give Severus a hug, but Severus looked at him as if he were frightened and stood up before backing up against the wall, where he slid down until he was sitting with his knees pulled up, resting underneath his chin._

_"Child, what did they do to you?"_

_Severus wouldn't meet the Headmaster's gaze._

_"Oh my dear boy. What have they done to you, Severus?"_

_Severus began to cry. "I didn't want it, Headmaster. It is vile and stands for evil. I resisted for as long as I could, but I was too weak; they made me get it, Professor... they made me... how could I be expected to go on as I had been? Merlin, they tore everything from me, took everything I have ever held dear, they took..." Severus couldn't continue._

**~*~**

Harry woke to sunlight pouring through the window, and was pleased to note that he was no longer feeling the debilitating physical discomfort that he had experienced the last time he had been conscious. Looking around the room, he saw Severus in the bed beside him; he had fallen asleep with his clothes on and hadn't even pulled back the duvet or removed his shoes. Harry returned his attention to his own body and raised his hand to his eye. He winced, then looked at his hand to see if any blood was there – luckily, there wasn't, but Harry had a feeling that he wasn't too pleasant-looking at the moment. Looking at the wizard clock on the wall opposite, he noticed it said breakfast time, and he began to realise just how hungry he was; he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten.

As if reading his mind, Professor Dumbledore entered the hospital wing carrying two trays of food for Harry and Severus. Nearing Harry's bed, Albus spoke in a hushed voice. "Good morning, young Harry."

"Good morning, Headmaster." Harry began eating as soon as he got into a comfortable position, which wasn't the easiest thing to do with his ribs as they were. He could see the Headmaster sitting down, and wondered what he was about to say. Harry had many questions and could only hope he would receive answers. He set down the kipper he had taken a bite of and looked at Dumbledore, who smiled, but it was not of the usual twinkling variety: it was more of the: _I-don't-know-how-you-do-it-time-after-time-get-into-precarious-dangerous-situations-yet-escape _smiles_._

"I see Severus is still sleeping. He was up late last night sitting by your bed applying flannels and helping you breathe; Madam Pomfrey and I had to force him to sleep, Harry. You had a rough evening – your temperature began rising and you coughed continuously for a couple of hours. You also had several nightmares. Eventually, your temperature came down and your coughing ceased. To see you now, it is hard to believe you are the same person who arrived here yesterday afternoon, or for that matter, the person who was in that bed last night."

Harry glanced at Severus then returned his attention to the Headmaster. "How did I get here?"

"As Severus must have told you, the two of you share a powerful magic; that is what returned you to Hogwarts. Do you remember being in the forest?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders, which hurt. He'd have to remember not do that for a while. "All I remember is Professor Snape covering me with his cloak and carrying me. The last memory before that was of me trying to talk to him, but it was becoming so hard to breathe. I felt light-headed and must have passed out."

Albus nodded as he scratched his beard. "When Severus found you, you were encircled by a bright green aura – that is how he located you as quickly as he did. Once he picked you up, the aura disappeared. I am not certain, but it is probable that the aura around you consisted of Severus's magic that he was sending you, combined with your own magic. Together, the combined energy fields allowed you to Apparate to the forbidden forest." Albus stopped in order to give Harry time to absorb what he'd been told; he knew it was a lot for an adult to understand, so he knew Harry had to be overwhelmed. He watched as Harry looked at him, probably wanting more information, so he continued. "Even with the combined effects of both of your magic, I thought the two of you would have to be in close proximity to one another for such an undertaking to occur, but fortunately, both of you wishing for you to be back at Hogwarts was enough, and you were transported here. Of course, this is all theory; there is little information about what you and Severus experienced."

It seemed a plausible explanation to Harry – an odd one – but for him, odd was normal. He heard movement from the next bed and looked over to see Severus stretching his arms and trying to open his eyes. Uh oh. Harry hadn't wanted to wake him. "Sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to speak so loudly."

Sitting up, Severus shook his head as he yawned. He probably could have used another few hours' sleep, but he'd got by on minimum sleep for as long as he could remember, so why change that now? "You didn't. You are looking improved this morning."

Harry thought Severus was probably being obliging rather than truthful, but he appreciated the thought, nonetheless. "I've felt better, but it doesn't hurt as much as it did. How'd you sleep?"

"As well as one can sleep when they have lived the life I have," was Severus's immediate droll response, but he thought he probably should have supplied a more pleasing answer when Harry frowned. "I see breakfast has arrived," he said to change the subject. He took a bite of his egg, then continued. "Are you in much pain? You said you are not feeling as badly, but what exactly does that mean?"

Swallowing a spoonful of egg, Harry had to stifle a laugh at the look on Severus's face. No matter how many years passed, Harry would never become accustomed to a caring and concerned Severus Snape. "It means that my ribs are still sore, and my eye bloody hurts, but neither hurts as much as earlier, so that's something, yeah?"

"Yes," Albus replied, "and by this evening I am guessing that you will be back to your former-self. It is utterly fascinating how you have improved in the short period-of-time that you have been here."

Severus looked at Albus and the two shook their heads in disbelief.

"Well, Harry, at least we now know why you recovered so quickly last week," said Albus.

Ah, so now they were getting to the part that Harry was interested in. "About that, Professor—"

Albus raised his hand to stop Harry. "Madam Pomfrey will release you later this morning. I would like you and Severus to join me for supper tonight in my rooms; we have quite a few items to discuss." When he had received nods from both Harry and Severus, he continued. "Poppy had to go out for a while; she will be returning shortly before noon. She knew Severus would be able to take care of any medical needs that you might have, Harry. I have business that needs my immediate attention, so I will bid the two of you a good day and will see you both at six in my office."

A few minutes after Albus left, Severus looked over at Harry and noticed he looked a bit flushed. His last bite of egg swallowed, Severus got out of his bed and walked over to Harry's. "I need to take your temperature." He waved his wand above Harry's head, and after a minute, red numbers appeared showing that his temperature was now normal. "It is amazing – last night we were thinking you might possibly contract pneumonia, and here you are, on the mend."

Another perplexed look from Severus made Harry again shrug his shoulders. _Bugger, that hurt_, Harry thought. He probably should ask Severus to bind his chest area so he couldn't move, but he hated the idea of being restricted, and as the Headmaster had said, he should be completely healed by the evening. "Chalk another one _up to The Boy Who Lives.'_" Harry said this cheekily, and received a rather sardonic smile in response from Severus. When another slight pain hit him he decided to lie back down; he needed sleep. He also needed some time to think. He had been ready to tell Severus that he wanted them to try to begin a relationship, as completely mental as that prospect seemed, but now, being back in Severus's presence, Harry wasn't so sure. His feelings had definitely grown while he was a prisoner, and he knew what and whom he wanted, but now seemed the wrong time, and besides, hadn't Severus made it very clear that he wouldn't do anything until after Harry left school?

This Substringio thing or whatever it is was called was beginning to make Harry think he was losing his mind: he wondered if it was the bond making him feel these things, or if it were really him.

~*~

Madam Pomfrey returned at eleven and, as the Headmaster had stated, she released Harry on the strict condition that he would rest for the next couple of days. She pointedly looked at Severus as she said this. She knew he would be watching out for Harry, and wanted him to know how important it was for him to regain his strength.

"Poppy, I assure you that Mr Potter will not be leaving my sight for the next couple of days; he will be fine."

A slightly hesitant Madam Pomfrey then watched as Severus and Harry made their exit and headed towards the dungeons.

Upon entering Severus's rooms, Harry turned to Severus. "It's good to see this place again." Harry would really rather be in his own rooms, but he had an idea that Severus had been serious about not letting him out of his sight. While not a completely bad thing, it made Harry a bit sad that he was again someone's burden.

"It is good to have you back, Harry. I should order us some dinner; anything in particular you want?"

"Whatever you're having is fine with me," said a yawning Harry as he made himself comfortable on Severus's sofa.

After ordering their food, Severus retrieved a quilt from his bedroom, draped it over a sleeping Harry, then kissed his forehead. "Love you, Harry," he whispered.

"Love you, Sev," Harry whispered in return.

Severus ate his food as soon as the house-elf brought it, but put a warming charm on Harry's.

_"_No, leave me alone... stop it... help me... Sev, come get me!_" _

Severus stood from the table, hurriedly walked over to Harry, and shook him gently. Almost immediately, Harry sat up and buried his head in Severus's robes.

Severus waited a minute or two then lifted Harry's head so he could look into green eyes. "I am here; you are safe." Severus was careful to enunciate each word clearly because Harry's eyes looked wild, as if he thought he were about to be killed, or worse. Severus knew these looks; he had seen them on others and had been the one to wear them.

Harry nodded and returned his head to rest against Severus's chest. After remaining in this position for a few minutes, he lifted his head and looked at Severus. "It was Lucius. He told me he was coming back, and it was so real. I could feel him, and I was so scared, Severus."

Severus noticed a tear that was about to fall. "If I ask you some questions, will you answer them? It might be easier for you that way." Severus didn't wish to upset Harry further, but he did need information that only Harry could supply.

Harry nodded.

"Did you talk to the Dark Lord?"

Harry closed his eyes and nodded as Severus helped him lie down and get comfortable. "I woke up in a cell the morning I was taken, and one of the Death Eater's: Crabbe, I think, took me to see _Voldemort_. Of course, he was thrilled – I was his, he said, to which I informed him that I was most definitely not his. He said I would eventually give in, and you would make sure of that. He put me under the Cruciatus then had me sent to a suite, where I was in almost total isolation until I left. Lucius came to visit me that first afternoon and was none too pleased with my attitude towards him; he said he would be back. He was right – he came back yesterday, not long before I arrived here, I would guess."

Yes, that is what Severus had thought as well. "Did Lucius give you a reason for his being there?"

Harry opened his eyes. "He told me he came to claim what was his, and then proceeded to tell me that my dad and he had been lovers. He then said my dad had been embarrassed to be seen with a Death Eater, but I wouldn't. It's not true. He lied to me, Severus. My father would never've been with the likes of Lucius Malfoy. The thought makes me sick." Harry shook his head, willing it to not be true, but Severus's expression wasn't helping in that regard. There wasn't any way it could be true, was there?

Severus hadn't thought about this particular issue ever rearing its ugly head, and didn't know what he should tell Harry; he couldn't lie, but how to tell the truth was the question. Actually, Severus didn't know the extent of the truth, but he did have a good idea what it was.

Seconds continued to pass with silence speaking in lieu of the truth. "Sev… erus? Do you know something that you aren't telling me?" Harry looked at Severus and pleaded for an answer, an answer that he knew wouldn't be the one he needed.

Severus sighed. He hadn't a choice. "Yes, Harry, your father and Lucius were together, but I am not aware to what extent. It is a rather complicated, story to tell, but in the end, your father couldn't handle Lucius being a Death Eater, so he ended whatever they had. Lucius took the breakup badly and never forgave James. You being James's son seems to have struck a nerve in Lucius, and he wants you to suffer for what your father did." Severus studied Harry's face; he wondered if Harry would receive this news as well as Draco had. When talking to the latter, Severus had emphasized Draco's father in his telling of the story. Draco had grown up hearing how bad James Potter was and he didn't need anything else reiterating that point. With Harry, Severus was employing the same tactic. Harry had learned to hate all Malfoys, and he didn't need another confirmation of that; Lucius had done that quite enough on his own.

All Harry could do was open his mouth. To say he was dumbfounded would be putting it mildly. Not in a million years would he have guessed this could have happened. "It isn't like I knew my parents, but I didn't have any idea my dad liked men in that way. I never knew." Harry felt almost overwhelmed by the news: it was absolutely awful, yet if his dad had once been with Lucius Malfoy, didn't that mean he couldn't be all bad? Ugh… it was all too complicated, but it did answer a few of Harry's questions about why _he_ was the way he was. "I guess it makes me feel somewhat better about myself, but if Lucius was with my dad, how could he hate me as he does? And what about my mum?"

This wasn't going too badly, so far, but Severus couldn't help be hurt by the comment about Harry feeling better about himself: it seemed to say that Harry wasn't exactly happy about liking males. It would need to be addressed, eventually, but not now. "About your mum: your mother and father were close after fifth year and they began dating during seventh year. I know for a fact that your parents loved each other very much."

Not for the first time, Harry wanted to ask Severus how he knew all of this, but again, he couldn't muster the nerve, which seemed so very wrong. He had every right to know why Severus knew these things. "How did my dad and Lucius… Lucius is evil, Severus. He…" Harry couldn't finish the thought.

If expressions were the only way to communicate, Harry's feelings would be no less transparent, and Severus felt sorry for him: it was never easy hearing information about your parents that changed your image of them. Severus needed to tell Harry what he wanted to know, but he would have to choose his words carefully. "You mightn't like what I am about to tell you, Harry, but I need you to understand why Lucius is why he is now, and please don't look at me with that sick look. The person you know now as Lucius Malfoy is not the person he has always been." When Harry rolled his eyes and schooled his face into a rather neutral look, Severus continued. "Lucius was an extremely sensitive child who was never allowed to grow on his own. His parents beat him into submission; they controlled his life, Harry. Each year that passed saw Lucius becoming more filled with hatred and evil. The man we see today is the product of his parents' inability to allow him to discover the world and make his own assumptions about what is right and wrong. There are deep scars within him; I dare say they go deeper than mine. No matter any of that, however, what he did to you is unforgivable, even with what all he has dealt with. Harry, take a good look at Lucius, then take a good look at me. We both began life in much the same situation; we were best friends and we shared everything, including the fact that we were abused by our parents. As you know, we both received the Dark Mark as well. Somewhere along the way, our paths diverged: I buried all of my feelings inside, and he took the aggressive approach, taking his frustrations out on others."

"I thought he was going to kill me, Severus; he was so angry." Harry shuddered when remembering the feel of Lucius on him.

"I shall have to have a little conversation with him it seems." What Severus really wanted was for Harry to talk to him and tell him what happened. He thought he knew, but he needed to know if his inferences from Harry's actions of earlier in the hospital wing were correct.

"You can't do that, Severus. Then he'll know who you're really loyal to."

"Harry, I have no intention of doing bodily harm to him, although it would give me great pleasure to do so. I need to know what he was thinking. He will confide in me; he needs a friend and I have always been that for him. When you crave attention such as he does, you will do anything to hold on to it. I will find out what he did to you, Harry; he is one to brag. I would really rather hear it from you, if you can talk about it."

"I doubt he'll be bragging about it, Severus. He hurt me, yes, and he did try to rape me, but for whatever reason, he couldn't. I have no clue as to why. I could feel him coming down and hovering over me, and I could feel when he made several attempts at entering me. He pushed harder and harder, but nothing happened. There was something that was blocking him from me."

Severus let out a huge sigh and felt immense relief. "I was frightened that he had raped you, Harry. Did you call me at all when you were being attacked by Lucius?"

"Yes, when I knew he was going to rape me, and I couldn't get away from him, I began calling you and telling you I loved you, over and over. Then again when he had thrown me against the wall and kicked me in the ribs, I called out for you to help me, and I told you I couldn't breathe."

So now Harry had said the_ L_ word out loud. Severus chose to ignore that bit until later. "We need to find out more about this bond that we share, Harry. It is possible that when you were calling me, our magic combined to form a shield of some form that blocked Lucius from raping you."

Harry nodded. "He continued touching my body, he just couldn't enter me." Harry could feel Lucius against him and no matter how much he tried he couldn't erase the feeling of helplessness. "He left after kicking me in the ribs a few times, and he said he'd be back. That is when I passed out, I guess. I remember feeling warmth envelop me as if I were being held close to someone. Next thing I remember is you picking me up in the forest."

"Albus will be able to help us with this; he has found more information regarding our situation."

Another yawn. Harry knew he was about to fall asleep. "When the Headmaster told you about us being soul mates, what was your reaction?" Harry searched Severus for any signs that he was uncomfortable, but didn't sense any, but he couldn't imagine that Severus was okay with this.

"Honestly, Harry, I couldn't believe what he was telling me; it seemed surreal. Yet, what he told me made sense, and the descriptions he gave me seemed to fit perfectly with you as well as me. Until yesterday, when I found you in the forest, I wasn't certain I believed it could be true, but seeing you surrounded by that green aura made me believe. Seeing you like that was amazing. When I told you, what was your reaction?"

Harry grinned. "That you were mental! I knew if you were telling me, it had to most likely be true, but that didn't make it any less unbelievable. I'm curious as to what all Professor Dumbledore has found out. I think our being soul mates is interesting, don't you?"

Interesting didn't even begin to describe this development. Severus had an idea that this news would not be received well by most, but he also knew it likely that very few people would be told, which he was more than fine with. He wasn't quite sure himself what to think. This could be a very good thing, or a very bad thing. Harry was still a student, whatever the case, and that had once again changed Severus's mind. Where he had thought he was ready to tell Harry how he felt, he now knew that would have to wait. It was obvious how they felt, but the longer he could delay telling Harry, the better. "Indeed, Harry, it is interesting. It is also utterly fascinating: Of all the billions of people, you and I share two souls. That is a concept I am having difficulty grasping, although I must admit it is quite endearing knowing that my soul mate is someone I am quite fond of. Now get some sleep; Poppy'll give me a right tongue-lashing if you don't get your rest."

Harry grinned and nodded as he shut his eyes. "I'm quite fond of you, too, Severus." Still grinning, he turned over and drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

When they finished eating and house-elves cleared the table, Albus sat back and observed his students: Neither of them had said much at all thus far. Harry seemed subdued; he'd merely shoved the food around his plate with a fork, and looked sad. Then there was Severus, whose mood seemed consistent with how it had always been, but there was something else that Albus couldn't quite put his finger on, but it was there, nonetheless. Perhaps they had argued; with those two, Albus wouldn't be at all surprised. Their personalities seemed to dictate that they would never make a compatible pairing, but their actions as of late had said quite the opposite. Albus grinned. He couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when he told them that they could enter into a relationship if they chose to do so.

"Headmaster," Severus said as he sat back, crossed his legs, then arms, "as much as I have enjoyed your company this night, Harry and I came up here to find out about this bond that we seem to have with one another. Would you be so kind as to indulge our curiosity?"

Fair enough. Albus pushed up his spectacles, then handed Severus and Harry a thin sheaf of parchment and couldn't help but wonder how this information would be taken. "Before I begin, this parchment has within it all of the information I have found regarding Substringo Infinitio. You will find the contents most fascinating, I assure you. I will brief you about the information you have been given, but I implore the both of you to read the information in its entirety."

Severus and Harry both nodded; they wanted to know what this bond was about.

It was evident that they were as curious as Albus was excited. He again pushed up his spectacles (he really did need to tighten them). "Harry, can you recall when your magical abilities began to falter last year?"

That was easy; Harry didn't have to think at all on that one. "Yes, sir. As soon as I arrived on the Hogwarts Express, the changes were almost immediate. I could still perform the usual tasks required of me, but the results were often unpredictable. I would be pointing my wand at point A and the results would occur at point B." Harry turned to look at Severus, and saw him shake his head, a slight put-upon look on his face. Harry shrugged his shoulders. He had been asked a question and had answered it the best he could; he couldn't help it if he wasn't the most articulate person around. Not everyone could be Severus Snape.

Albus frowned at Severus; he understood perfectly what Harry was trying to say. "And do you recall when you began to regain control of these abilities?" he asked as he turned his attention back to Harry.

"I guess when term began after Christmas holidays is when they got better. I began noticing being able to control my magic. By February everything was okay again, but then it started faltering again, but not nearly as bad as before."

"Interesting…very interesting." Albus looked at Severus with his ever-twinkling blue eyes. Severus returned his gaze and nodded, as if he was being forced to admit something he didn't want to. Albus raised his eyebrows questioning Severus, who looked as though he were about to be led to the guillotine.

Returning his attention to Harry, Albus continued. "From what I have gathered in my research, this thing that you and Severus share does not activate itself in either person until the younger of the two is sixteen, and then, only when the two have been in close proximity to one another. I am confident that this occurred when you arrived for the beginning of winter term. Harry, once your soul began to sense its partner, it began searching for it, and in the process, caused your magic to falter. You said everything returned to normal by February. This would indicate that the elder of the bond began to gravitate towards the younger. The two souls began reaching out towards one other, but for this to happen, the elder wizard had to want to be in contact with the younger wizard. If the elder of the two isn't certain of his or her feelings, than that isn't at all good; that is more than likely why your magic began to fluctuate again after February."

Harry looked at Severus, who had written the journal entry in February. It was all beginning to make more sense now. Severus refused to meet his eyes, however, and this upset Harry, who wanted affirmation of his thoughts. Severus was so frustrating! Why was he acting like this? For the past two hours, he had read a book, hardly speaking, and when he had, it had been regarding something negative. It just didn't make any sense. Earlier in the day, Severus had seemed caring and had wanted to help Harry. For the past hour, however, it had been as if Severus wanted to be as far from him as possible. He returned his attention to Albus and sighed. Why was his life destined to be intertwined with the one person who exasperated him above all others? Harry had to grin when Albus nodded at him and smiled. He had no doubt that the Headmaster knew what he was thinking.

"The two of you will learn much from what I have given you to read. As you will no doubt discover, there is no way to predict what powers the two of you will be gaining. Clearly, you both already possess power far beyond what I thought possible. These newfound abilities will remain with you forever. Unlike most bonds, Substringo Infinitio does not need to be sealed: the two of you do not have to be romantically involved (the rather loud sigh from Severus was impossible to miss, as was the hurt look on Harry's face), and neither do you have to be in close physical proximity to one another. Of course the further away from one another you are, the weaker the effects will be."

Severus felt as if the world had lifted from his shoulders. He'd been so very afraid that Harry would be forced to be with him forever. No matter the slight indications that Harry might be entertaining the possibility of being with him, Severus wasn't at all naïve: He knew there was no way that Harry Potter would want to spend the remainder of his life with a Death-Eater turned spy. Who in their right mind would? Feeling eyes on him, Severus was unsurprised to see Albus looking at him sadly. Severus felt badly; why couldn't he ever do anything to make the man proud of him? He seemed far too adept at making others frown, and woefully incapable of making others smile.

There was nothing Albus could say or do to make this better. He knew Severus and Harry had a rough road ahead of them, but he did know that they would make it; whatever happened, they would be more than up the the challenge. He only wished that Severus weren't so stubborn. "Severus and Harry, neither of you should feel pressured into thinking your destiny has already been mapped out for you; it most certainly has not and the world is the both of yours for the taking."

_After we kill Voldemort_, Harry thought, because he knew this thing that he and Severus had would be used to get to Voldemort. "What do we do now? Excuse me for being a bit too forward here, Headmaster, but I am aware that this thing that Severus and I have will help us get Voldemort. I don't much like that idea, but it is what it is, yeah?"

How very astute his student was. Reluctantly, Albus spent the next hour going over the plans with Harry and Severus, most of which they had already been told about. He then gave Severus permission to leave the grounds of Hogwarts since he seemed to once again be accepted by Voldemort, but Albus gave Harry strict instructions not to ever leave the grounds unless it was for a very important reason, and only then if Severus accompanied him.

A half hour later he stood as Severus and Harry prepared to leave. "I know this is a lot of information to digest, but the most important thing I wish to convey to the both of you is that this new-found revelation shouldn't alter the way either of you live. You will, of course, be noticing new abilities, etc. and I would request you inform me when you have a new discovery. I do not think I need to say this, but it is imperative that this information remains between us. As before, Harry, your guardian will be Professor McGonagall. At this time, I do not plan to inform anyone other than us three and Professor McGonagall of what we have discussed today."

"Albus," Severus said, as he reached for the door, "Harry and I are the only male/male soul mating ever; this could bring other facets into play." He had wanted to address it as a question, but he knew it was more fact than anything else.

"This is true, Severus. We are dealing with an unknown to be perfectly honest, and until something occurs, we cannot be sure of anything that might happen as the result of the two of you being soul mates. This is in no way dangerous, however – that, I can assure you." That comment was a leap-of-faith that Albus was taking, but he needed to reassure Severus and Harry.

As Severus reached for the door once again, Albus remembered something he'd forgotten to tell them, so he spoke again. "Oh yes, one important piece of information the two of you might be interested in hearing is the fact that since you are each other's soul mates, If you both wish to bond or enter into a relationship, wizarding law is on your side, even if it is against Hogwarts policy for a student and teacher to become involved in a relationship. We will, of course, keep this secret, but the two of you will be allowed as much time together as you need. Well, that is all I have to say. I will see you at breakfast in the morning. Goodnight."

Severus looked back at Albus, who winked at him. Severus wasn't at all amused.

He and Harry walked in silence most of the way to the dungeons, but Harry couldn't stand the quiet. "Severus, did Professor Dumbledore just tell us what I think he did?"

Severus stopped walking and took a deep breath as he looked at Harry. "Yes, I think he did."

As they entered the sitting room, they both removed their cloaks and hung them up before getting comfortable on the sofa, an air of tension surrounding them. Circumstances had changed drastically, but whether or not this new facet of their relationship would translate into a reality Severus and Harry wanted to experience, was not so clear. Just because they could didn't mean they should. Both men looked as though they were facing Voldemort instead of facing something each other wanted.

"Severus, can I ask you a question?" Harry asked as he Summoned a pot of tea from Severus's kitchen. He felt as if someone were sitting on his shoulders weighing him down, and he wished they'd leave. How could it be that one simple sentence could change a person's world? Harry had been fine until he'd been given permission to do the one thing he had been considering. Now he wasn't so sure he wanted to go that route. Oh, he did want to go there, but he didn't think Severus did, and Severus had had to do enough as he'd grown up that had been against his will. Harry wouldn't add another.

"You may." But Severus didn't want to hear whatever Harry had to ask; it couldn't be good.

"What do we do now?"

"I am not sure, Harry," replied a now morose Severus. He wished he could drown his sorrows in his former vice of vodka, but he had given up that drink the night his best friends had been murdered, which he wasn't at all going to dwell on at the moment. He needed to stay in the present with Harry, because it was important for him to tell Harry how he felt. How did he feel? Severus wasn't at all sure, but he couldn't and didn't want to believe that he and Harry had been given the okay to become romantically involved. "No matter that Albus gave us his consent, it is inappropriate for you and me to be allowed to carry on a relationship. You are not even seventeen yet, Harry."

"I'm legal, and my birthday is in three weeks. And don't say I'm too young because I know that was what you were about to say. I've been through more than most people go through in a lifetime. I mightn't have had these feelings without the help of a bond, but this here, this is me, Severus. I could turn around and leave if I wanted to and we would be fine. This is a choice that you and I have. If you choose not to go forwards with this, I'll completely respect your decision, but for my part, I want this. As completely mad and bloody weird as this is, I think I want this more than I've ever wanted anything, Severus." Harry swore under his breath. That had been the complete opposite of what he had intended to say. He had wanted to make it more of a choice for Severus rather than a plea from Harry.

This was going too fast. Severus wanted so badly to take Harry in his arms and kiss him. Was he wrong for that? He felt dirty for the thought. Harry was just Harry… Harry Potter. Severus could never be romantic with Harry; that would just be too… wrong. He looked at Harry, shook his head and mouthed the word 'no.'

"Please, Severus, I just want a chance," said Harry as he scooted over so he was nearly touching Severus's legs with his own.

A glare was Severus's initial response. How dare Harry try to win him over with his cute little pout, but then those green eyes looked at him with such warmth that Severus knew in that moment that he was done for: Harry could ask anything of him and he'd do it. So what if he went to hell: his ticket had been purchased long before Harry had ever been born. A curt nod and a small smile was all the answer Severus gave before he stood and walked over to the fireplace and turned around to face Harry. "Against my better judgment, you'll get your chance, Harry, but don't say I didn't warn you. I am not an easy person to be around and I think you'll soon find that out." Severus might be giving Harry the chance he had requested, but he would not give Harry false hope; he knew who and what he was, and he would not change for anyone, even Harry.

"Yeah, I wish summer hols didn't have to end; you're going to change the way you act once classes begin, aren't you?" Harry knew that would be the most difficult aspect of all of this: he had learned to like this Severus; well he actually loved him, and he wasn't ready to face a mean Snape again.

Severus didn't miss the sadness in Harry's voice, but the boy had known what he was getting into when he had asked for a chance. "I am playing a role that never ends, and it must be convincing, Harry."

Harry stood and walked over to the fireplace and faced Severus. Perhaps he was foolish, but he couldn't help what he was about to ask. "May I kiss you?" It was a foolish request, but Harry found himself wanting to see what it felt like to kiss a man – to kiss Severus.

"No. You—"

"But—"

"But nothing, Harry. Until you are seventeen, we shall refrain from any sexual activity, and that most definitely includes kissing." That hadn't been as difficult as he had thought it would be, but Severus had an idea that Harry would be persistent. That being the case, it was a good thing that Severus was well-versed at saying no. He had been a yes man for most of his life, but as a teacher, he had learned how to say no, and that was perhaps his favorite word now.

Harry growled. It wasn't fair. He couldn't help but pout.

Those big eyes now looked sad, and Severus shook his head. If Harry thought his pout could change minds… well, he might be right about that, but no. Severus would not give in. Absolutely not. "Ah, but Harry, think about it this way: by that time we will know each other better and it will be all the sweeter."

Harry rolled his eyes and grinned. "Who cares about sweet? I have needs, I'll have you know. They—"

"And I have a mind of my own, Harry, that says you and I are not going to take advantage of this bond. Just because you have been given permission to have a relationship with me – a teacher – does not give you the right to speak so nonchalantly about it. If you are going to enter into a relationship with me you are going to learn very quickly that when I make up my mind, it is made up," Severus said, his voice rather stern as he looked intensely at Harry. A day earlier, he would have sold his soul for Harry and would have slept with him, made love to him, done anything for him. Perhaps later he would feel the same, but in the present, Severus couldn't allow himself that luxury. He wasn't merely wishing any longer: his wish was in front of him and it was more than a bit scary.

Harry merely shook his head as he watched Severus turn inwards once again; it was always so very obvious when he zoned out into his own little world. Sometimes Harry wished he could do the same. "And you are going to have to learn that you don't need to be so defensive with me, Severus. I was only taking the mickey out of you. I can wait as long as you want."

Severus grabbed a handful of Floo Powder as he looked at Harry. "I rather enjoy birthdays," he said before he stuck his head in the fire and called out Albus's name.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**Moving along... July 30, 1997**

"Master, I have brought him to you," said a solemn Lucius Malfoy, his eyes downcast.

"That will be all for now, Malfoy, As you were." Voldemort watched Lucius exit the room, and smirked: Lucius was limping. If the previous night's antics had caused the elder Malfoy pain, then Voldemort couldn't wait until this upcoming night, when he had plans for an intimate gathering of faithful followers. Lucius would be getting more action than he had probably got in a decade. Voldemort grinned wickedly. He so loved torturing his wayward follower.

Once Lucius exited the room, Voldemort turned back to his newest _guest_. "I think it is time to unveil my fail-proof plan to finally catch that vile Potter, the plan which will center around _you_." Voldemort evilly laughed in the man's face. "Everyone thinks you dead; they think you died heroically trying to protect Potter. The boy will come running when he hears about you being alive, and he will run directly into my trap. You are the perfect pawn. Take him away, Crabbe."

_**~*~**_

As he ascended the stairs, Draco tried to prepare himself for what he was about to be confronted with. He had received the Dark Mark a few weeks prior, deciding he would be a spy as Severus was. It hadn't mattered to him that Severus and Albus pleaded with him not to do this. Draco felt it his duty and only he knew that this was his way of giving back some of what his father had taken away. He knew how dangerous this was going to be, but it was something that had to be done.

As Draco entered the office, he sat in the chair the Headmaster pointed to. He looked at Severus, hoping for some sign of support, but there was none that was visible. Instead of allowing them to begin belittling his decision, as he knew they would if given the opportunity, Draco began talking, hoping he would get through this without giving in. This was something he had to do, no matter what the outcome.

"Headmaster, Professor Snape, no matter what the two of you say, it will not change what has been done. Headmaster. We all know that I would never ever actually serve that thing they call the Dark Lord, so I am your spy, and am willing to do whatever you ask of me. Professor, I can help you now," Draco added, his eyes, pleading, as he looked at Snape. He wanted them to accept his decision, but he knew they wouldn't. They would, however, live with and benefit from the life-altering choice that Draco had made. That was all that mattered to him.

Albus took a rather deep breath before continuing. "I have no doubt of your loyalty, Mr Malfoy, and your help will be appreciated by Severus; it is the danger you have placed yourself in that I doubt you recognise."

They couldn't have been more wrong. Draco was many things, but stupid was not among them. "Believe me, both of you, I know exactly what danger I am in. Remember, my father is Lucius Malfoy."

Severus wasn't at all happy with the situation, but there was nothing to be done for it. He would have to accept it. Truth be told, he could use the young Malfoy's help; he only hoped Draco'd be more of a help than his father had been. Malfoy's hadn't exactly been a great help to the Snape family thus far. "Draco, have you heard anything from your father about what is going on with the Dark Lord?" No time like the present to indoctrinate the young and foolish Draco Malfoy into the life he had chosen to lead.

Draco shook his head. "Father hasn't been at home much recently; Mum says he has been busy with a project."

Severus looked Draco in the eyes and willed the boy to understand what he was about to say. If Draco ever deceived or betrayed either Harry or him, Severus would make sure the boy regretted the day he'd been born. "Draco, we have reason to believe Voldemort is planning something in order to trap Harry. At this point, we have no proof, and we are unsure about what Harry's previous imprisonment had to do with this other plan I will soon tell you about, but with the pieces of information we have gathered, some of it with your help, the situation doesn't look at all promising. My theory is that either Remus Lupin or Sirius Black was somehow switched with someone else and kidnapped before the attack on the Dursleys. A few weeks ago, your father, while in Rome, picked up a rather large delivery and returned with it to the Riddle House. If my guess is correct, this was either Lupin or Black. Lupin was mentioned on the parchment you gave me with the conversation your father and Voldemort had; it could be him, but I think it more likely a diversionary tactic. I believe Voldemort is going to bait Harry with Lupin, and when that doesn't work, as it probably won't, Voldemort will somehow make Harry realise it is really Black whom he has. Harry will then do whatever he has to in order to rescue his godfather – there is no question about that. As I said, this is only speculation, but my being a spy for all these years has its advantages, and I have this intuitive feeling that I am right about this. Draco, if you hear anything at all, please contact me, immediately."

"Yes, sir, Professor. I should be getting home. Mother is expecting me for dinner."

As soon as Draco was gone, Severus turned towards Albus and began talking, a tinge of panic to his voice. "Albus, I have to find out if Black or Lupin is alive. If one of them is, Harry deserves to know, but we cannot allow him that information until we have them back safely in our hands. If neither is alive, we need to tell Harry so he can avoid walking into this trap, but Harry will need proof that Voldemort is lying to him. I know how close he and his godfather were. If there is even the slightest bit of hope that he is alive, Harry will do whatever he has to in order to reach him." And that _whatever _is what frightened Severus more than anything else.

Yes, Albus was all too aware of how close Harry and Sirius had been, and it was his fervent hope that at least this part of Harry's life would work out as it should: Harry could really use Sirius about now. Yes, it would present some rather interesting problems given the current state of things between Harry and Severus, but Albus knew that the positives would far outweigh the negatives. "We will find out, Severus. Your young Harry will be fine, I assure you."

**~*~**

"So, Draco got the Mark?"

"I'm afraid so," Severus said as he removed his outer cloak and looked down at Harry, who appeared to be working on what looked like an essay in front of the warm fire: he looked entirely too comfortable, and very much at home, and well, he was, wasn't he? Severus allowed himself to study Harry. Harry – home – Severus – the three together: it was a thought that Severus still had trouble accepting, but over the past few weeks, he'd come to realise that this newest addition to his life wasn't going to change, and he'd also discovered that even if he could change what was happening, which he could if he wanted to, he wouldn't. He'd come to depend on Harry in so many ways, and to imagine his life without Harry as a constant, well, that wouldn't happen. Severus had had so little in his life that had meant anything to him. Now that he had Harry, he'd fight anyone to the death who tried to take him away. That being the state of Severus's mind, however, didn't mean that he didn't doubt his decision every second of every day. He allowed a smile, knowing Harry couldn't see it. Yes, Harry was now his life.

"He should've gone into hiding," Harry said as he set down his quill and looked up at Severus, "but, in a way, I'm glad he's a spy now. He'll be able to take some of the pressure off of you." Harry then sat up and scooted himself over to where Severus had seated himself on the sofa.

Anyone who witnessed the grin that Severus wore at the sight of Harry moving over towards him would probably think the man had been placed under Imperius rather than believe that he was smiling because he had at long last found happiness – even if said happiness was found in a sixteen-going-on-seventeen year-old wizard. Not for the first time, Severus thought he was probably damned to an eternal hell, but he didn't care. The past few weeks had answered many of his questions, and he no longer fought against the inevitable – in fact, he welcomed it. Certainly, it was another form of servitude, to an extent, but this servitude, he welcomed. As serving others went, he could do worse than Harry Potter, and as Harry had told him repeatedly, Harry was just as much his servant as he was Harry's. Severus sighed. His life was indeed complicated, even if it was he who did the complicating: He could walk away, as could Harry, and act as if none of this had ever happened. But, neither would do that. Severus would as soon die as do that. So he instead resigned himself to Harry, even as it was every bit his choice.

His mother had always said her wayward and unruly child was a drama queen.

Severus spread his legs and allowed Harry to back up so he sat in between them, then began massaging Harry's shoulders. This was as intimate as they had been, and Severus wondered if he should even be allowing this to happen. It could so easily lead to other things, and none of those were going to happen, not yet. Harry was very ready to move to the next level, but Severus had said not until Harry's birthday, and he wouldn't give in, no matter how much Harry's moans and flirting got to him, and no matter how much that small, lithe body called to him.

It might be that the small body was the one thing keeping Severus true to his word.

Harry was diminutive in stature, and that didn't at all help when added to the age issue. Severus felt as if he were wrong to want this person who looked to be about fourteen, but he couldn't deny that he responded to Harry as he had never responded to anyone… in every way. Harry was very much a man who exuded masculinity, and Severus was very much a man who responded to that which Harry had. Other people could think this was wrong – perhaps it was – but Severus knew what he wanted and what Harry needed. Damn everyone to hell if they couldn't or wouldn't understand.

Severus rolled his eyes as one of Harry's _needy _moans escaped, but instead of making a comment regarding said moan, he chose to continue speaking about Draco (once he remembered what he had been saying). "I am sure that is Draco's plan, Harry, but I think he has a more personal reason for doing this, and that is his father: Lucius." As expected, Harry turned and looked at him with a frown, then made a face that was so very Harry. "Draco needs to prove that he is nothing like his father, Harry, and from what I've seen, I believe he has every right to want to do so; Draco is a good person, nothing like his father. I understand that you have issues with Lucius for what he attempted to do to you, and you have every right to do so. I also know from personal experience that you and Draco have never seen eye to eye, but I would hope that you can tell the difference in a young boy trying too hard and an adult who is trying to survive. I am confident that the two of you can continue working together without killing each other. Do not confuse the son for the father, Harry."

**~*~**

Albus was in his office making final arrangements for Harry's surprise birthday party, which was going to take place the following day. Originally, it was going to be a rather intimate affair since it wasn't safe for Harry's friends to visit Hogwarts before term began. However, after special arrangements and after many, many wards had been erected, the once small gathering had more than doubled in size. Albus knew Harry needed this: he needed his friends with him.

Everyone would be arriving by Floo, and Ron and Hermione would be both at the party and at their homes thanks to Polyjuice. If anyone was keeping an eye on the two friends of Harry Potter, they would find them doing their homework or playing Quidditch, per their usual.

Albus looked over the guest list and checked off the final name with a satisfied grin. It read as follows: Hermione Granger; Mr & Mrs Weasley and their children, Ron and Ginny; Hagrid; Professor McGonagall; Madam Pomfrey; Albus Dumbledore; Severus Snape, and the guest of honor, himself, Harry Potter.

Severus had arranged everything; Albus had only to make sure the attendees knew the procedure for entering Hogwarts, which was that everyone would Floo to Severus's office, and once the party was over, they would return to their homes via the same method.

Severus's office had been chosen for this occasion because all of his rooms were warded with the most extreme charms. Being a Death-Eater/spy, he needed wards that would allow dark magic, yet would protect against any outside dark forces that might try to gain entry.

The party was to be in the Great Hall at noon – dinner would be served, followed by cake and present opening. Albus couldn't wait; he had always enjoyed a good birthday party. Well, to be honest, he had always enjoyed any reason for a party.

**~*~**

Harry had been busy doing homework during the past two weeks, and hadn't done much else. While he and Severus spent huge amounts of time together during the day, Harry often found himself going to the Astronomy Tower at night in order to think, and, of course, he always ended up thinking about him and Severus. His feelings were growing stronger each day. He knew it was a combination of the bond and his own feelings, and that knowledge was so very frustrating for Harry. He would never be comfortable with the fact that his mind was not completely his own when it came to Severus, but it was a fact of life that wasn't going to change, and Harry knew he had a choice: he could leave and find his own way in the world: a world without Severus, or he could stay and discover what he and Severus could be.

It seemed an easy choice: Harry craved love. Hadn't he wanted to get to know Severus better after reading the words he had written in his journal? Yes, Harry had, but he'd also thought that those words had been truly Severus's and not some bond that had forced him to have those feelings. How could he and Severus be forced to do this? Even if they had a choice – which Harry rather doubted – would it really be as easy as simply leaving and not looking back? The bond wouldn't disappear with distance. No, it would always haunt his every move if he left; Harry had no doubt about that. Thus, he would stay, and he would make Severus understand that it was him and not the bond that was making him want to stay. Harry knew that would be important, and ultimately, it was the truth. Bond or not, Harry wanted Severus as he had never wanted anyone in his life, other than his parents. He would give up Severus in a heartbeat if he could have his mother and father back. As that wouldn't happen, he thought he and Severus would be just fine.

**~*~**

_I am so sorry, Harry, that I won't be able to be there with you tomorrow on your birthday. It is unlikely I will ever be there for you again. These sick bastards are going to try to lure you to me: please, please, don't follow their trail. I am as good as dead anyway; there is no way you can get me out. Please, Harry, stay at Hogwarts. I love you, my godson._

**~*~**

"How was your meeting with the Headmaster?" Harry asked as the door opened. He imagined that Severus probably stopped mid-stride (it was dark and all he could see was a shadow entering the room), and he knew that he'd startled him – that had been the plan, and Harry grinned. Even as he knew his presence was unexpected, he hoped it wasn't unwanted.

Severus, frozen at the sound of the familiar voice, pointed his wand at the fire, lit it, and watched as Harry's face and body emerged – he sat in the center of Severus's bed – thank Merlin, he was clothed. Severus wouldn't have put it past him to have been naked. "H—Harry, I didn't expect you to be here." Severus had been very strict about his parameters, and Harry being in his bedroom, on his bed – that was a BIG NO! Severus didn't much like surprises, especially ones such as this, even if it was a few hours away from Harry's birthday, which Severus hadn't forgotten about: with Harry's constant reminders, that had been a rather impossible task.

"Are you disappointed?" Harry got up on his knees and gave Severus his best impression of a puppy-dog face that he could conjure. "I can go if you want me to."

Severus growled and shook his head; he disliked being put on the spot, but he had to give Harry an O for effort. Walking to the edge of the bed, he removed his boots, then sat down and shook his head as he looked at Harry. He had put Harry off again and again, but he knew the hours were winding down, and soon it would be time to either push Harry away permanently or admit him into his life forever. Severus hadn't made his final decision, although, he was almost certain of what he would end up doing. As wrong as it seemed, he very much wanted Harry, at least he thought he did. "And be left with that pathetic looking face haunting me all night? You may stay." Then Severus made a rather important decision: he leaned over and kissed Harry on the lips, but only lingered for perhaps a second, then pulled away and grinned as Harry's shocked expression went through a myriad of emotions. Oh yes, Severus knew he'd pay for that one. He stood, turned, and walked towards the bathroom, and he could only imagine what Harry was thinking.

When he returned to the bed, several minutes later, he was clad in his black boxers, the same ones he wore every night. He had thought about putting on a shirt, but had thought that rather callow, so decided against it. What was going to happen was going to happen. He sat down and gave Harry a patented Snape look, not one he often gave Harry these days. "I see you are ready for bed. You planned this, didn't you?" he asked, absolutely no hint of mirth on his face, before he scooted back and propped himself against the headboard and folded his arms as he assessed Harry, who was wearing green boxers that hid nothing. Severus was impressed. It had been years since he had gained an erection merely because he thought about someone or saw them. That it was _him_ that had caused Harry's erection did more for Severus's ego than his previous almost four decades put together.

Harry turned to Severus and grinned. "Yes, I am and yes I did," was his matter-of-fact reply. He thought about returning the kiss that Severus had given him, but thought better of it; he would make Severus wait until midnight. He got out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

When he hadn't come out after fifteen minutes, Severus began to worry. He made his way to the bathroom and knocked. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine, Sev. Just give me a few minutes."

There was something odd resonating in Harry's voice, and he tended to only use the nickname, Sev, when he was upset or not feeling well. "Harry, what is wrong? I know that you aren't okay."

No response

"I am coming in."

No response

Severus entered the bathroom and found Harry curled up against the wall. Severus knelt beside him and began to panic; Harry was not at all fine. Gently touching his shoulder, Severus tried to get his attention. "Harry... Harry!" Still receiving no response, he picked him up so he could take him to Madam Pomfrey.

"Sev?"

"I am here. What happened?" Severus returned to the bed and sat Harry down, then sat beside him. Harry was almost as pale as he had been the day Black and Lupin had been killed, and Severus thought perhaps Harry had had another image of someone being murdered.

"I'm not sure. One minute things were fine, and then I heard... Sirius. He was talking to me; he sounded so sad. I've never experienced anything like that before. He was really talking to me – it felt so real, Severus," Harry said, his voice, shaking.

As worried as Severus was for Harry, and he was indeed extremely concerned, he was relieved at this news because it almost certainly proved that Black was in fact alive, but he was also extremely apprehensive because of what this was going to entail regarding Harry. Just the idea that Black could be alive had been a huge leap of faith on his and Albus's part: they had hypothesized about it only because of past dealings that Severus had had with the Dark Lord and, of course, the parchment that Draco had given them, but now, that hypothesis probably right, Severus knew there was trouble ahead and he was at a loss as to how he should proceed. If he made the wrong choice here, he could lose Harry forever. But if he said the wrong thing, Harry could lose his life, and if those two facets had not entered into the equation, Albus had requested that Severus refrain from saying anything to Harry about the possibility of his godfather being alive.

Severus needed a drink – what he was faced with was almost a no-win situation, and he found himself once again cursing the name of Black under his breath; that family had been his nightmare for longer than he cared to remember, and he wished fervently that it weren't so. How would he ever explain everything to Harry?

"Severus, I felt his presence; it was as if he were alive. Merlin, I would give anything if he were, but, he couldn't be. We saw him. I just don't understand why I would be having these feelings that are so real." Harry had thus far kept the tears at bay; he wasn't weak and he was trying to prove that to Severus; he didn't want the man to think he cried at the drop of a feather.

"Was this a vision you had, or did you sense Sirius's presence?"

"I didn't see anything, only felt as if he were trying to contact me. It was the exact feeling I have when sensing you are somewhere near and thinking about me. Of course, you and I have the soul mate bond connecting us, but this was the same feeling. His voice, I can still hear the pleading and the sadness. I just don't understand it, Severus."

_I do_, thought Severus, and he had never hated keeping a secret so much. He felt as if he were being a very bad friend, and he wondered if he and Harry should progress with what they were about to do: it seemed misleading for him to take something so priceless from Harry while keeping something else which was equally priceless from him. "I believe this should be discussed with the Headmaster, Harry. What you are experiencing could be nothing, but it could be indicative of something else and I think it important enough that you should tell him. I do not know why you are having these experiences, but perhaps the Headmaster can help you understand." _And perhaps you will forgive me if you find out what I am keeping from you. I hope you understand that it is for the best. If it isn't true, I don't want to lose you._

"I'll ask him in the morning at breakfast," Harry said as he gave Severus a small smile. Why couldn't he and Severus ever have a normal night together? "Life is never boring with me around, that's for sure."

"I would have to concur with you on that statement, Mr Potter." Severus glanced over towards the clock on the bedside table and grinned as he turned to Harry. "Let me be the first to wish you a happy seventeenth birthday, Harry."

"Thank you, Severus. I think I would like that very much." Harry plastered on his toothiest boy-ish grin for Severus to see.

Severus swallowed as he closed his eyes: he wasn't a dirty-old-man: he was Severus Snape, someone who had, from a young age, wanted to be loved, and he had always wanted to love. He had loved, he had even loved… well, he had never loved as he wanted to love Harry now. Here was his opportunity to do so. If he were wrong to want this, then so be it, and if he were wrong to do this, then he knew he'd pay, but for now, all he cared about was what and who was in front of him. Harry wanted him, and that was all that mattered.

Without a word, Severus leaned down, and kissed Harry. As the previous one had been, this one was chaste, but it soon grew deeper, and their tongues explored each other's mouths for several minutes with only the briefest of breaks for breaths. Severus then pulled back, rather abruptly, and shook his head, but when Harry's face fell into a frown, Severus reached out and ran his finger down Harry's face to reassure him. "I don't want us to go too fast, Harry. You've told me that you've never been with a bloke, and I've told you that I've not had the best of luck with wizards, even if they allowed me to do the buggering, which almost never happened."

Trying to regain his breath, Harry nodded. He was grateful for Severus's restraint; he had none, and would have suffered for it in the morning, he had no doubt. "Are you sure you want to do this, Severus? We don't have to." Severus had never come out and told him that he'd been raped, but Harry knew he had, and he also knew that they had been brutal attacks; he had seen enough visions to know what form of entertainment Voldemort preferred, and he felt ill at the mere thought of what that vile and evil person liked to do to his followers.

Harry would care for Severus as no other had.

Severus propped himself up on his elbow and rested his finger on Harry's lips, which he thought he felt tremble: There was only one reason for that. Severus needed to lighten the mood. "This, coming from the one who has been taunting me for the past week with you wiggling your bum in my face? You want this more than you want to eat I think." Severus rolled his eyes as he moved some of Harry's fringe out of his eyes. "No, I am ready for this, Harry, but I am afraid this will not be the night you expected. I think we need to take this slowly for both our sakes."

"We don't—"

"Shh," Severus said as he leaned over and kissed Harry, quieting him from making further comments. He continued to kiss Harry and somehow managed to remove their boxers with his wand as he settled himself above Harry, balancing himself with one arm while rearranging the bedding with the other, and he saw the moment when Harry realized that they were naked. It was a moment Severus would never forget. He lifted his head and looked down at Harry, allowing his hair to fall onto Harry's face, neck, and chest. "I hope you don't mind; they seemed to be getting in the way," he added as he sent the two pairs of boxers to the floor.

Harry bucked up into Severus and hoped that was answer enough. He was so hard that it hurt. He'd lost most of his erection in the bathroom, but had regained it in the past few minutes, and needed to come soon or he might die. Honestly. "I don't care what you do, but make me come, Severus," Harry said very breathily, thinking that he was moments away from passing out.

Well, so much for taking it slow. Severus had wanted to progress to the point of making love to Harry, but that wasn't going to happen it seemed. Perhaps they would reverse the order: begin big and end small: It had never been Severus's preferred night of pleasure, but then again, had he ever truly had a night of pleasure? Well, he almost had, but it had turned into the worst night of his life. But that wasn't a thought for now, was it? He had Harry in his bed: that was reason for a million smiles, and Severus wasn't going to allow his past to shadow his present or future. "Are you okay with a bit of pain?"

A snort was Harry's response. Was Severus kidding? Yes! He was more than okay with it; he expected it. He was a bloody virgin, and it was going to hurt like hell, but it was a hurt he wanted. "Yeah, but you better hurry, or the pain is going to pass over me and I'm going to die." Harry tried smiling, but truly, he was in too much pain to do so. Er, speaking of, how could any other pain be worse than this? "Fuck me, Severus!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Severus felt movement on his chest and looked down into sleepy eyes, where only the slightest hint of green was showing, and ran his fingers through Harry's messy hair. He couldn't believe this was his life and that Harry was his. Of course, Harry would never know that Severus thought of him as such – that probably wouldn't go over very well, but Severus couldn't help feeling that way – in a way, Harry had always been his. Blood wasn't everything. "Happy Birthday, Harry. Did you sleep well?"

"Mmhmm. Yeah, I guess. How about you?" Harry tried rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he lifted his head to give Severus a smile, but it didn't help much. He hadn't got much sleep and needed to get some. He closed his eyes and returned his head to Severus's chest and yawned. No matter that he was tired and perhaps a bit on the grumpy side, he grinned when he felt Severus's fingers running through his hair. Those fingers were talented and had done things to Harry the previous night that had made his scream. He let out a moan and heard Severus chuckle, his deep laugh so very odd sounding. Snape and laughter still didn't seem right together. Harry was bemused: Harry Potter, the resident celebrity, and Severus Snape, the resident greasy-git, were now in a relationship, but not only that, they were also soul mates. It was a story no one would ever believe.

"_I_ slept very well,Harry, but by the look and sound of you, it seems our lovemaking might have impeded on your much-needed rest. Perhaps you need to get to bed earlier." Severus was only half-joking.

Harry shook his head as he pushed himself up so he was eye-level with Severus, then brushed his lips against Severus's. "Only if you go to bed earlier," Harry said cheekily.

Severus ignored the words; he had more pressing needs. He pulled Harry closer to him and returned the kiss with a deep passionate one of his own before raising himself to a sitting position with Harry in his lap, facing him. "Last night was wonderful, Harry, but we need to talk."

Harry was prepared; he had expected this. He snuggled against Severus's chest. "As long as you aren't going to tell me we can't do this again, we can talk all you want." As Harry continued to snuggle into Severus, he wrapped his arms around Severus's neck and began giving him butterfly kisses.

Severus allowed Harry to continue for a few minutes before removing his hands and kissing them. "I need to know that you are completely aware that this bond between us is the only reason I am allowing this to happen between us. It is so very wrong what we are doing, but I am unable to resist the pull any longer. It is as if this bond has been pushing us together. I wish I knew if this is what you and I truly wanted; it seems very wrong of us to do this if an outside force is making us do so. I—"

Nothing like Severus spoiling a perfectly wonderful morning. Without ceasing his kisses to Severus's chest, Harry withdrew one of his hands from Severus's and placed it on Severus's lips. He had expected all of this. Truth be told, he'd expected it last night before they'd done anything. "I think it is safe to say that it is the bond, Severus. I have never liked you, not even a little bit. Respect you for what you have done for us? Yes, that I have done, but nothing much else. But some of this might be because of what happened a few weeks ago. I needed someone and you were there. I think that could have made us have feelings for one another, yeah?" Harry glanced up at Severus, but Severus was looking towards the fire, and he looked a million miles away. "I guess what I'm trying to say, and failing miserably at it, is that I don't much care anymore if it's the bond that brought us together. You might be upset about it, but I'm not – at least not anymore. Please let this happen, Severus. But, if you're really this upset about it, maybe this shouldn't happen. Dumbledore said we didn't have to do anything. I'll leave if you want me to." Every word he'd spoke was the truth, but he didn't want to leave, not when he'd finally found someone who seemed to love and accept him. Perhaps those two things weren't enough for them to make a relationship work, but Harry wanted to try. He tried to ascertain how Severus was going to respond, but thus far, there had been no change in his expression. Why did he have to always look so dour?

"You will do no such thing unless it is what you wish to do, Harry. For my part, I am cognizant that this bond we share has taken over, but I am also very much aware that my body and my soul have already accepted you and if you were to leave, you'd be taking a part of me with you. And no, I am not being sentimental or sappy or romantic, Harry, I am being truthful. You can't even begin to imagine what my feelings for you are. I don't much like that I have been manipulated by outside forces, but I do like very much that you and I are in this together. My life is a difficult one and I don't expect happiness for myself, but if I can have a taste of love, I'll not pass it up. However, and you need to listen to this very carefully, Harry: if you ever repeat any of what I have said to you last night and today, you will find that my wrath is quite unpleasant. You are an open-book, Harry, and you love so completely. If you ever cross me, I will take my love away. I do not say this to be mean, I say it to warn you. I'll give you anything I am able; you have become most important to me and I don't ever want to lose you, I'd rather be alone for the remainder of my life, however, than to be with someone who I can't trust with my inner-most secrets."

What was one to say to a statement such as that? Harry was stunned silent, which didn't happen often. He rearranged himself so he was lying on the bed, facing Severus, who was still sitting against the headboard, looking at the fire again. "I'd never say anything that you shared with me, Severus. We can't tell anyone about us as is, so that won't be a problem, but even if we could, I wouldn't. I understand what a private person you are, and I think that's one of the things that I like most about you."

Tearing his eyes away from the fire, Severus shook his head at Harry. The bond. Severus knew it was the bond – Harry liking him because he was private – it was the bond. Severus thought he might go mad, and he knew that he either had to accept that his and Harry's lives were partly dictated by a bond, or he had to end this immediately. As the latter was not at all a possibility, he would leave the idea of the bond behind. Whatever happened from this moment on, it was Harry and Severus.

It was not a bond.

This is how it had to be.

Or it would not be.

Severus cleared his mind of these thoughts. "Don't you have somewhere to be this morning?"

Harry frowned. Where did he have to be? Then he remembered. "Professor Dumbledore... yeah, I want to catch him early before he has an opportunity to become too busy with other things. Are you going to come with me?"

"I wish I could, but unfortunately, I am expected in Hogsmeade. I will return before noon."

A few seconds passed, then Harry kissed Severus and forced himself to leave the bed and Severus. He wanted to stay with Severus; it was safe and warm with him, and he felt loved. Once he was out of the bed, he leaned down to meet Severus in one last kiss before leaving. "Thank you, Severus." Harry slowly walked to the bedroom door and turned around. "I love you." It hadn't been at all difficult to say, and Harry hoped Severus knew how true those words were.

"I love you too, Harry. I'll come get you at noon so we can go down to the Great Hall together."

"Kay." Harry didn't want to leave; he felt like once he stepped out of the door, it would have all been a dream and he would return to his former life where he'd been unloved and unhappy. Well, perhaps it hadn't been quite as dreary an existence as that, but it hadn't been a pleasant one, and Harry had quite liked the feeling of being loved.

Severus noticed Harry's hesitance to leave and saw what he perceived as fear in the green eyes that were looking worriedly at him. Unsure why Harry looked so tense, Severus did know that whatever the reason, it wasn't good. Perhaps he had been too harsh with his words. He got out of the bed, walked over to Harry, and embraced him. "I am here, Harry."

Harry looked up at Severus and allowed a tear to fall. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you, Severus. I..."

"Shhh. I am not going anywhere, Harry." Severus was rubbing Harry's back and gently rocking them both back and forth. "Perhaps you should wait to go see the Headmaster; I can reschedule my meeting for some other time."

Harry snuggled closer to Severus. "Severus, this feeling I have now... I want to be with you every minute and never want to let you go; if I do, I'm afraid someone will take you from me. I know it's irrational but it's how I feel. Everyone I have ever loved has been taken away from me, and I love you too much to make it through if…" Harry didn't finish his thought. All he could do was look in Severus's eyes as he tried to calm himself. He was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help it.

Severus closed his eyes. He and Harry really did have a lot more in common than he had thought. "Harry," Severus said as he gently lifted Harry's chin so they were looking into each other's eyes. "I will not stand here feeding you lines such as we will be fine and nothing will ever happen. Truth is that no one knows what lies ahead for any of us. All any of us can do is live for the present and hope for the best in the future. What you and I share, it is nothing I can put into words, but I pray with all of my heart that we are allowed a long life together. I love you, Harry, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that we have many years ahead of us." And in that moment, Severus knew that it was true. He had accepted Harry, and he wanted Harry. He needed Harry.

Harry smiled and gave Severus a kiss. Severus Snape had a tongue sharp enough to cut steel, but he knew how to be as gentle as a lamb when it ws needed. "You always know just what to say, thanks." He then backed out of the doorway and blew Severus a kiss before leaving.

**~*~**

"Happy Birthday, Harry. Sherbert Lemon?"

"Thank you, sir." Harry took the offered sweet and sat down across from Professor Dumbledore.

"You are up rather early."

"Yes, sir. I had a strange experience last night; Severus thought you should know."

"Please tell me about this, Harry," said the Headmaster as he retrieved another Sherbert Lemon and put it in his mouth.

"I was brushing my teeth when I heard this voice inside of my head talking to me. It was Sirius. He sounded so sad and was talking as if he were being kept from seeing me, and then he begged me not to come to him. His voice was so clear and I could sense his presence. It wasn't like a normal vision. Is there an explanation you can think of for me having these experiences?"

Albus tensed as he listened to Harry's account of what had happened, because the previous night he had received proof, from Draco, that Sirius was indeed alive and being held by Voldemort. Apparently, Draco had been called by Voldemort, and when he had arrived, Lucius had brought in Sirius and stood him beside the young Malfoy. Draco had recounted the events in vivid detail to the Headmaster.

"_Father left the three of us alone – this was my first meeting with Voldemort since my initiation and I didn't know what to expect. Voldemort then told me I would make him proud. I bowed to him and said I hoped to live up to his expectations. He assured me I would. Then he glanced at Sirius and laughed the most evil laugh I have ever heard. Voldemort then said that Sirius needed some discipline because he hadn't been following orders correctly. Voldemort turned to me and asked me to show Sirius what happens when rules are broken. I was horrified. I didn't know what to do. I knew what I had to do, but it didn't make matters any easier. I lifted my wand, pointed it at Sirius, and shouted Crucio. He fell and was twisting and shaking. I went to release him but Voldemort wouldn't allow it. Finally, he gave me a nod and I released the curse. Sirius was unconscious on the floor. Then Voldemort called for my father and had him return Sirius to his cell. Just as soon as they had departed, Voldemort dismissed me – he said I passed my first test..."_

"Harry, I do have an explanation for you, but it is complicated and I ask you to listen to all of what I have to say before responding. This involves such complexities that if you do not understand the facts, you will possibly be putting yourself in harms way needlessly." Albus knew he shouldn't tell Harry this because he was aware of how Harry would react, but Harry had a right to know, and Albus had a responsibility to tell him.

Harry gave the Headmaster a questioning look then nodded his head in understanding. Why couldn't the man just say what he had to say?

"Voldemort is setting a trap, Harry. He has found a way to draw you to him. Draco was called last night and saw what Voldemort has planned for you. I believe Draco was called because Voldemort suspects he is not the faithful Death Eater he claims. Voldemort probably thought this would be one way of testing his newest recruit, allowing him to see something that he could possibly report to us with. I am positive this was the aim of this meeting last night. Draco's life is in the balance here, Harry. If anyone of us acts on what we have found out, Draco will be killed."

Harry was trying to be patient, but all of this talk was leaving out a very important fact. Who had been seen by Draco? "I am sorry, Professor, but who or what did Draco see?"

"Sirius is alive."

Harry heard Professor Dumbledore saying that Sirius was alive, but it was impossible – he and Severus had seen his lifeless body. "Wh...did I just hear you say that my godfather is alive?"

"Yes, Harry. He is alive, but being held as Voldemort's prisoner."

"Shite...oh sorry, Professor." No, it couldn't be true. Harry wouldn't believe it.

Albus chuckled. "I understand this must be quite a shock for you, but it is the truth, Harry. I would not lie to you about such a thing."

No, Dumbledore wouldn't lie about that. Harry stood. "We have to get him out," Harry said excitedly.

"I agree, Harry. You probably have already figured it out, but Sirius is Voldemort's way of trapping you. He knows you will come after your godfather once you learn that he is alive. His avenue of accomplishing this is Draco. Unfortunately, if you go running into his trap now, Draco will be killed, Sirius will be killed, and you will be killed. We must find an alternative solution to rescuing Sirius. Harry, I am imploring you, please leave this alone until we have a proper plan in place. I certainly realise your wish to be reunited with Sirius, but I also want to make sure that the reunion is a happy one."

Harry nodded but said nothing, even as a million questions were on the tip of his tongue.

"We will talk soon, Harry and make plans for how we want to rescue Sirius. For now, go on as if nothing has changed, oh yes, and please tell Severus that I would like to meet with him after supper," Albus added, a twinkle in his eye.

Dumbledore knew they were together. That man knew everything! Harry sighed. At least he couldn't know what they'd done the previous night. Harry grinned as he thought about it all. Severus had been so very gentle. After their initial orgasm, but he had promised Harry that they would do it rough next time. Harry's grin increased and he felt his cock twitch.

**~*~**

"Hello, Lucius."

"What are you doing here, Severus?"

"I had Hogwarts Business in Hogsmeade and decided to see an old friend."

"Tell me, Severus, you would not happen to know anything about how Potter escaped from the Riddle House, would you?"

"No, he has not said a word about it, Lucius. I am researching it and hope to find something soon. Voldemort must be getting impatient."

"That he is. Just a word of caution _my old friend_, make sure my son stays clear of that Muggle-loving Dumbledore. I have worked too long and hard to have some old codger mess up my plans."

_Don't you mean plans for your son?_ "Done."

"I am late for an appointment, Severus. If you will excuse me."

"Good day, Lucius."

Lucius swept past Severus without another word and stormed down the street. Severus smirked, but he was worried: If he didn't know better, he'd say that Lucius was on to him, but that was impossible, and if that were the truth, then why didn't Lucius do anything about it?

**~*~**

"Aunt Mattie, Professor Dumbledore wants me to meet him before everyone else arrives, so I'm going to leave now."

"Are you sure you don't want one of your cousins to go with you?"

"I'm sure. I need to do this by myself. I'll be fine."

"I worry about you, Hermione."

"I know, and I love you for it. I should be back here before supper." Hermione kissed her aunt on the cheek before she threw the Floo Powder in the fireplace that had recently been put on the Floo network, and said Professor Snape's office – Hogwarts.

Hermione arrived in her Potion teacher's office, which was currently unoccupied. There was a note for her on the mantle., however.

_  
Miss Granger --_

_Professor Dumbledore and I have asked you to arrive early so you and Harry can have some time to talk before the others arrive. Harry misses you, and with recent events, the two of you will be able to understand more readily what the other is going through. Take this map and it will lead you directly to Mr Potter's room. Just say Revealo and it will point you in the right direction. Your core energy will be recognised by the snake guarding Harry's rooms, therefore you will not need a password. Harry will be expecting you. Thank you, Miss Granger._

_Professor Snape_

What a strange note: Professor Snape had seemed almost nice with the words he had chosen. Hermione thought something odd was going on, but knew that now wasn't the time to dwell on that. Instead, she found the map. After she said the spell, she followed it down to the dungeons. When she realised where she was being led, she wondered why Harry was in the dungeons of all places. She knew Professor Snape lived down here, but she couldn't see Harry doing the same, voluntarily, that is.

Reaching the entrance to Harry's rooms, she was greeted by a picture of a snake.

_"Hello, Miss Granger. Mr Potter is expecting you."_

The giant door opened and Hermione entered, the door shutting itself softly behind her.

"Harry?" Hermione saw him sitting in front of the fire doing homework.

"Hermione!" Harry stood up, walked over, and embraced his friend in a huge hug. For about a minute, they only hugged.

"Professor Snape left me a note telling me to come here; he said you were expecting me."

"I had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore this morning and when I returned here, Severus had left a note telling me to expect you," Harry said as he stepped back and took in the sight of his friend: she looked sad, but how else was she supposed to look. Harry was just so happy to see her. Maybe he could make her smile; he certainly could do with a few smiles himself.

"Severus?" Hermione furrowed her brows.

_Oh. Bad Harry. Shouldn't have said that. _ "Erm..yeah, Severus. He is kind of the one who has helped me through everything this summer. He asked me to call him Severus, so I do." Harry fervently hoped Hermione wouldn't press this subject any further, at least not at the moment; he knew the damage had been done, and that she wouldn't let it go completely.

"So, how are you holding up, Harry?"

A sigh. Present dilemma diverted. Harry certainly didn't need any questions about him and Severus. "Okay, I guess. I just try to take everything one day at a time, and it's getting easier, although it's still hard to believe. How are you?"

"Aunt Mattie's been terrific. She has kept me busy, and never lets me get too down on things. She makes me talk about my parents every day; that has helped more than anything. My cousins are also helping. Being an only child, I've come to cherish the relationship my cousins have with each other. They have adopted me as one of them."

"It's so good to see you. I've missed you and Ron so much. I didn't think either of you were allowed into Hogwarts before term."

"Professor Dumbledore fire-called me this morning and asked me if I were free to come visit with you today, and I said yes, so here I am. Do you have any plans today? Happy Birthday, by the way; I forgot your present but I am sure you will love it."

"Thanks. Just doing homework. You'll be happy to know I have finished almost all of it." By her reaction, she was surprised, as was Harry, to be honest. It was all Severus's doing.

"What about Potions? With Professor Snape here, you are probably getting more Potions help than you could ever want."

Harry had to withhold the grin. "Severus has been really helpful and has taught me a lot." _How to make a proper potion, how to love...how to write a proper report...how to love...how to harness my magic...how to love..._"He has been patient with me, which is asking a lot of anyone."  
_  
_"Maybe you will not have as many points taken away this year from him then."

"I wouldn't count on that. You know that he has to keep up appearances during term."

"Of course. Well, enjoy him being nice while you can then."

"I will." Harry was desperately trying to think of something else to talk about. He couldn't allow Hermione to find out about him and Severus. "Have you talked to Ron lately?"

"He owled the other day and said he was actually ready for school to begin. I think he's getting lonely around the house with just Ginny and him still living at home."

"I'm sure it's quiet without Fred and George trying out their jokes on everyone."

"Yeah, probably so. I talked to Percy the other day; he was in London on business, so we met for dinner."

"You and Percy? How'd that go?"

"Actually, it went rather well. He has some intriguing ideas about the Ministry; he should make a great Minister of Magic someday."

"Do I detect some interest on your part in Percy?"

"You could say that. We have been owling each other every day. He really does have a great sense of humour; it just takes him a while to warm up."

"Hermione, you don't need to sell Percy to me; I know the two of you are similar, and if he makes you happy, then I'm happy for the two of you."

"Thanks, Harry, that means a lot. Now if we could just find you someone."

"I am sure the right one will come along, Hermione. Until then I have quite enough to be going on with."

Hermione had to agree. She checked the clock on the wall and saw that it was almost lunchtime. "Harry, I better go; I told my aunt I wouldn't be gone long. I am so glad you seem to be doing as well as you are. Maybe next time we visit we can talk more about what happened. I do want to tell you about it, it's just so hard."

Harry gave Hermione a hug. "I understand, and am here for you anytime. Whenever you're ready, let me know."

"May I ask you something, Harry?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Did you see what happened to my parents in one of your visions?"

Harry was glad he was able to say no to this and mean it. "No. I've been seeing a lot of the planning they've been doing recently but not many actual attacks. I knew they were going to your house; unfortunately, what I saw was seen too late to save your parents. I'm really sorry, Hermione."

Now it was Hermione's turn to hug Harry. "If the Aurors hadn't come when they had, I would have been killed, as well. It was horrible enough what they did do, but you saved my life, Harry. I will never be able to thank you properly. Well, I really must be going. Owl me about when you can meet Ron and me in Diagon Alley, okay?"

Harry thought that Hermione was probably about to cry and didn't wish for him to see her do so. He understood. "I will."

"Bye, Harry."

As soon as Hermione let, Harry missed her. He needed his friends with him and hated that he was being secluded from them, even if it were for a good reason. At least he'd finally been able to see Hermione.

He heard the wizard clock ticking and looked up. It was almost time to eat, so he figured Severus would be coming to get him soon. He gathered his books and stacked them up and placed them on the table, then went to freshen up – he attempted to comb his hair, which was always a no-win situation, and brushed his teeth. He looked in the mirror and his reflection smiled. "Good enough, I guess."

Harry decided to go find Severus since he was ready. As he stepped out into the corridor, Severus was walking towards him and looked out of breath, and not at all happy.

"I thought I would be back sooner, Harry."

No, he was definitely not happy. Perhaps Harry could change that. "I'm in no hurry, take your time. I'll wait for you." They walked into the dark sitting room, where Severus immediately lit the torches before turning to give his young Harry a kiss. "I missed you."

A shocked Harry only took a few seconds to respond, and he gave a slight sigh of frustration when Severus pulled back. "Same here, but I think if we kiss like this after being apart for a little while, I can handle it," Harry said as he winked. He then reached up and pulled Severus down to meet his lips and the two engaged in a deeper more passionate kiss, and Harry did not allow Severus to pull away this time. "Do we have to go to the Great Hall to eat?"

"We should make an appearance. No doubt certain individuals are on to us, well, at least one," Severus replied as he licked his lips.

Harry grinned. "Speaking of, the Headmaster wants to see you after supper, and yes, I agree that he is on to us, but as he gave us permission, he had to know it was only a matter of time," Harry said nonchalantly.

"Oh? Then he knew something I certainly didn't, Harry. His giving us permission was not a mandate. I think we arrived at the point we did last night be mutual choice, and Albus had nothing to do with it."

Ever the cynic. Harry knew what he had signed up for when he had allowed Severus to make love to him, but he was now beginning to understand just how exasperating being a lover to Severus Snape was going to be. "Whatever, Severus. I'm just saying he knows us; I think he knew what we were going to do."

Severus had no reply. He merely gave Harry small shake of the head, then turned around and began to walk towards his bedroom. "We are going to have to be so very careful, Harry. Absolutely no one can find out about us."

"I can be discreet, Severus; I'm not a child, you know," Harry said, not appreciating the way Severus had said that.

Severus stopped, chose his next words carefully, then turned around. "Yes, I am all too aware that you are not a child, as I do not make it a practice to defile children. It is a Death-Eater specialty that I have somehow managed to evade… Harry."

"You don't have to be so mean about it, Severus. You know what I meant. I can keep a secret as well as anyone. If you don't think me capable than perhaps we shouldn't be doing this." Now Harry was hurt. Yes, he knew that Severus was not a nice person in general, but he would not stand for being treated as if he were a student who had managed to arse up his potion.

His words had been uncalled for, and Severus knew it. Why was he hurting Harry? He hated to see him so sad. "Forgive me. I have little practice being anything other than a complete arse to people: one becomes conditioned to such proclivities when they are surrounded by the foulest of the foul."

**~*~**

"They should be coming down any minute now. I asked Professor Snape to tell Harry we were having a special meeting and he was needed immediately." Albus couldn't very well tell his guests that Harry and Severus were together.

Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all staring holes through the doors, waiting for them to open. The adults had all taken their places behind the table while the three students stood just in the doorway, waiting to surprise their friend.

Voices were heard and then the doors of the Great Hall flew open.

"Surprise."

Harry found himself mobbed by his three best friends, and he could hear several shouts of happy birthday coming from the table where several adults stood.

Severus remained in the doorway to allow the three friends access to Harry, but once his path was clear, he made his way over to join the other adults, who were all enjoying the antics of the younger guests. Harry had Hermione in a bear hug and was twirling her around.

"So you knew when you came to see me; I can't believe this. I thought no one would be able to come see me before school began. You three don't know how much I've missed you this summer."

"I was really surprised when Snape sent me an owl about this; since when does the greasy git send birthday invitations?" Ron said with a smirk.

Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes forcing himself not to become upset with Ron, who had no idea about what was really going on, and he had always referred to Severus this way, so why would that be any different now? But still, it wasn't something Harry wanted to hear. "Ron, please don't call him that. He's helped me get through everything this summer. Without him, I'd have fallen apart."

"Sorry mate, I didn't know."

"Everyone's helped me, but if it weren't for Professor Snape, I probably would have gone mad. He's still the same as he always has been, but after he helped me I can't help but respect him." _And love him._

The three turned around when Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"I am so pleased all of you could join us today to help Harry celebrate his seventeenth birthday. It has been a trying summer for many of us, and we have lost dear loved ones. We mourn their passing, and know that they will never be forgotten. If everyone would please be seated, dinner will be served."

Everyone found their seat and sat down. Harry was in the middle, surrounded on either side by Ron and Hermione. Ginny sat on the other side of Hermione. Severus was seated directly across from Harry.

_  
"You knew about this?"_

_"Why of course, Harry. Who do you think planned it?"_

_"This is... the best. Thank you; seeing my friends just made my day."_

_"Seeing your face glowing makes my day, Harry. I know how much they mean to you."_

_"Do you know how much you mean to me?"_

_"If it is anything near how much you mean to me then it is immeasurable."_

_"I love you, Severus."_

_"Oh and I love you as well, Harry."_

Dumbledore had been talking, and Harry hoped it was nothing he'd be required to respond to, so he was relieved when the food appeared: he was famished and immediately tucked in. He chatted with Ron about Quidditch, and found out that Ginny would be trying out for the team. Harry knew she was good on a broomstick so he looked forward to seeing the youngest Weasley's prowess on the Quidditch Pitch.

After everyone had finished eating, Professor Dumbledore brought out a cake that was decorated in Quidditch style of course, and placed it before Harry. After singing Happy Birthday, the new seventeen-year-old blew out the candles and allowed Professor McGonagall to cut everyone a piece of cake.

After everyone finished, the table cleared itself and a pile of presents appeared before Harry. He received a book about the History of Quidditch from Hermione, a new Quidditch glove from Ron, a subscription to Quidditch Monthly from Ginny, a weightless backpack from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and from the teachers, he was presented with a Shooting Star 2020 – the updated version of the Firebolt. Harry stared in awe.

"This is amazing; I can't wait to try it out. Thank you so much. Thank you, everyone for everything. This has been the best birthday I have ever had." And it had been. Harry could feel the love in the room and he recalled a conversation that he'd had with Severus when Severus had told him that he retained all of the love that his parents had shown him. Added with the love of Severus and all of these important people in his life, Harry really did feel loved.

He went around and hugged everyone, thanking them for the presents. When he reached Severus, he was embraced before he could do the embracing, and gave Severus a frown, but he knew no one had seen the hug. Severus then whispered in his ear, "I have something else for you, but you will get that when we are alone." Harry gave Severus a slight nod and returned to his chair.

The four students ended up separating from the adults and talked about their trip to Diagon Alley.

While they were planning what all they would do, Arthur and Albus began to discuss the situation regarding Sirius and Harry. "Albus, you did tell me that Severus had finished the potion, correct?"

Severus nodded towards Arthur as he joined him and Albus. "Arthur, yes I have finished it and it is ready to be used."

"Sorry, Severus, I didn't hear you approach. Your potion might be the answer to getting Sirius out of Voldemort's custody. Voldemort is obviously keeping you in the dark regarding Sirius; he has put it all on Draco's shoulder's to see if he can be trusted. You need to convince Voldemort that you will be able to bring Harry to him. We need to get Harry near Voldemort."

This was so very wrong. Severus wanted to say no, that they did not need to get Harry near Voldemort. Only… they did need to do that. "I should be able to convince the Dark Lord easily; he wants Harry so badly that I seriously doubt he will put very much thought into any possibilities of deception." Yes, the Dark Lord had weak spots. Not many, but a few.

Albus looked at Severus, then Arthur. "Arthur, I need to speak alone with Severus for a moment, will you please excuse us?"

"Certainly."

After Arthur left, Albus looked at Severus and frowned. "Severus, I believe we should tell Arthur—"

"No, Albus." There was no way he was putting Harry's life at risk. "If at some point in the future it is a necessity to alert him and others as to what Harry and I share, then so be it, but for now, no. I will not even entertain the thought of telling anyone, and before you say anything, no it is not me I am worried about. I could give a pixy's arse about what people would think of me. It is Harry I am concerned about."

Albus wished Severus would change his mind, but he understood. "Very well. For now we'll not tell anyone."

"Thank-you, Albus."

The two men rejoined Arthur. "I expect Voldemort will be calling on me soon; it is unlike him to go so long in between summons. I will set the plan in motion, Arthur," Severus said, sounding much more confident than he felt.

"Thank you, Severus."

**~*~**

_"We need to talk, Harry."_

_"I saw you talking to Mr Weasley; were you talking about Sirius?"_

_"Yes, but I will give you the details when everyone leaves."_

_"Okay."_

"Harry, are you listening?" Ron and Hermione had been talking when Ron turned to ask Harry something. They both noticed how their friend seemed to be in another world: his eyes were unfocused. Ron then watched Harry turn towards him, and saw a perplexed look on his friend's face. "You must have been thinking about something; you were a million miles away."

"Sorry; I do that a lot now days." His friends gave him a sad smile. They were probably under the impression that Harry was thinking about Sirius, and he did nothing to dispel their thoughts.

"Ron, Ginny, we need to be going. We have a long trip ahead of us to see your grandparents," said Mrs Weasley as she walked towards Harry.

Ron frowned. He didn't want to leave yet; he wanted to ask Harry what was up with the odd looks Snape was giving him. But one look from his mother told him there would be no delays. "Sorry I can't stay longer," Ron said half whining so his mother could hear him.

Harry nodded and laughed. "Thanks again for the presents and for coming to see me. It was such a surprise to see you."

Ron smiled and shook his head almost laughing. "The look on your face when you and Professor Snape opened the doors was priceless, mate – you looked like you'd just been snogged by surprise."

Harry had to hold back the giggle that wanted to escape. Severus had kissed him immediately before entering the hall; a deep passion-filled one, which had left Harry weak in the knees.

"I was surprised, that's for sure." Harry hugged and thanked Mr and Mrs Weasley before the family of four headed for Severus's office to Floo back to The Burrow.

"Harry, can we go somewhere? I need to talk to you." Hermione seemed extremely nervous.

"Sure; I'll be right back, okay?" Harry walked over to Severus. "Hermione wants to talk, so we're going down to my rooms where we can have some privacy."

"I will come get you before supper then," Severus said as he glanced towards Hermione. He knew she would cotton on to what was going on between Harry and him, but he hoped she'd be discreet; it would not do for one of Harry's best friends to be responsible for his death.

Harry gave Severus a wink and returned to Hermione, then the two proceeded down to his rooms.

Once they were seated comfortably, sipping tea, Hermione began. "The night my parents were killed, Harry, Lucius Malfoy was there. I didn't see his face, but I heard his voice, and he carried himself much like his son does, with that pompous arrogance. He was the one who sent the killing curse to both of my parents. He then pointed his wand at me, and I closed my eyes, knowing that at any second, my life would be over. He never said anything. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me; we stood that way for what seemed like an eternity. His wand remained pointed at me, but it was almost as if he was in a trance. One of the other Death Eaters ran up to him and started cursing him saying the Dark Lord would not be happy. Lucius lowered his wand arm, turned around, and left the house, never turning back. That is when the other Death Eaters started cursing me. I can't fathom any reason why Lucius Malfoy didn't kill me when he had perfect opportunity. His eyes were unreadable, but it was as if he'd realised that what he was about to do was wrong."

"Malfoy had the chance to kill you, who, in his eyes, is the lowest form of humanity, and he simply walked away? That makes absolutely no sense."

"I know. What does make sense is that possibly he had some conscience left in him if he walked away. Perhaps he is wavering in his support of Voldemort. Surely we can use this to our advantage, Harry." Hermione's voice was becoming animated.

Ever the optimist. "If Lucius Malfoy has a conscience, he sure as hell didn't bring it with him when he tried to rape me three weeks ago."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. "I didn't know."

"Well, he didn't, so it's okay. Actually, I have heard a little more about Lucius Malfoy's past and do understand more about what his motivations might be. I can't discuss what I know, but I can tell you that Lucius Malfoy has probably always fought against himself when it comes to Voldemort."

Hermione nodded. "I should hate him for killing my parents, but when he allowed me to live, I think I understood that no matter how much evil is in the world, there is some peace to be had, and everyone has the potential for goodness. For whatever reason, he spared my life, and Death Eaters are not supposed to leave any witnesses. Well...it's getting late, and Aunt Mattie will have kittens if I'm not home soon. Thanks again, Harry." She then pulled Harry into a warm embrace. "You are the best friend anyone could hope for, Harry. Thanks for everything."

Hermione and he had hugged before, several times, in fact, but none of them had been like this. They had both suffered great losses and that had forever changed things between them. "Thanks for helping make today so special for me, Hermione."

"Bye, Harry."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

A week removed from Harry's birthday, after much suffering and tedious negotiating (one never got anything for free from the Dark Lord) Severus was Summoned, and it wasn't at all a pleasant visit (as if any of them were?). As Severus later recounted to Harry, it seemed that the Dark Lord had been irritated with the fact that Harry hadn't come running to him about Sirius, and so he'd taken out his frustrations in the manner that he so loved.

After telling of _Potter's_ diminished emotional state and his carelessness, the Dark Lord had seemed convinced that Severus would be able to bring Potter to him. He'd given Severus two weeks, and just to make sure the younger man was aware of how serious he was, he'd placed Severus under the Cruciatus for half a minute.

When released from the curse, and after he was dismissed, Severus had somehow managed to Apparate to the forbidden forest, where he passed out. Hagrid found him a few hours later and took him to Madam Pomfrey, who had years of experience treating Severus, and knew how best and how not to help him. Of course, she had no idea what was really going on, but that didn't last long. She had suspected there was more going on than met the eye, and Albus confirmed it all, without telling either Harry or Severus that he was going to tell her. Consequences be damned, she had to know what was going on in order to better treat him.

As she turned off the light and nodded towards Harry, who was sitting by Severus's bedside, holding his hand, she smiled and marveled at how much Severus's life had changed in the past several weeks. To be sure, he was as difficult a patient as ever, but there were significant changes: Severus liked Harry, for one, which Poppy was sure she'd never become accustomed to, but she had an idea that Severus had never hated Harry – that it had been a ploy to deter Voldemort. Another change was that Severus healed quicker than he had in the past, because of the bond he and Harry shared. Quicker healing did not equate healing, however. Severus had suffered for twenty plus years under the debilitating effects of the Unforgivable – the damage from the Cruciatus had already been done, which meant that each episode found it more difficult for Severus to return to his former state. Fortunately, it hadn't seemed to alter his mental or physical state as of yet, but Poppy knew that time would not be Severus's friend in the future. But that was not anything she tried to think about in the present. What was going to happen would happen.

Once Severus was well enough to be released from hospital wing, he, Harry, Albus, and Minerva met, and the four of them, after much arguing, decided that secrecy was not going to work to anyone's advantage regarding Harry and Severus's relationship, at least among the staff. Harry hadn't much cared one way or the other who knew, other than Voldemort and his followers; Severus hadn't wanted to tell anyone: Minerva had wanted to wait and tell the staff later, but said she understood the benefits of telling them now, and Albus wanted his two students to have all the help they could get, and if that meant allowing the staff to know what was happening, then so be it. Of course, he always got his way, and in the end, Severus knew that it was for the best. It was merely another affirmation that his life was not his own.

The Headmaster requested all staff report a week earlier than usual and informed them at that time of the summer's events. Reaction, for the most part, was positive. Whatever prejudices the staff might have once held towards Severus, they knew he was a powerful wizard, and being the soul mate of Harry, whom most of the staff adored, immediately quelled most doubts the Death Eater turned spy may have incited. Most, but not all…

**~*~**

Harry sat with Severus after another meeting with Voldemort, who had wanted to know how Harry was fairing. Severus had assured his master that the boy had given up all hope and would be easily swayed. If Severus had thought his good news was going to be rewarded, he'd been gravely mistaken – he'd been exposed to the Cruciatus twice.

Harry sat beside the bed, feeling helpless. Severus hadn't regained consciousness since he'd been found. Every few minutes, his body would tense and convulse from the after-effects, his face would contort, and he might let out a whimper. Harry wiped Severus's face with a flannel and talked to him soothingly. He might've loathed the very face he was now looking into not so long ago, but now he loved that face and pleaded for those eyes to open.

"Come back to me, Severus. I need you." Harry refused to shed any tears. He would be brave and he would continue to talk to Severus until he woke up.

Poppy told Harry and Albus that Severus had reacted more violently this time more than likely because he and Harry shared their feelings and they were getting stronger with each shared conversation, and Severus felt not only the true effects of the curse, but also the pains that Harry had experienced. It was more than a bit confusing, but all Harry needed to know was that this was bad and it was only going to get worse.

Harry had known when and how long Severus had been exposed because he had been heading up to the Owlery to send a letter with Hedwig when he'd been hit with the severe pains. Yes, it was Severus who had experienced the true physical torture, but Harry's having to witness it was more of a torture than anything physical could ever be.

A few hours later, Harry, who had fallen asleep with his head beside Severus's, was awakened by the gentle touch of fingers running through his hair. He lifted his head and looked into Severus's beautiful black eyes: they looked weak and tired, but they were open, which meant that Severus was alive. It was all Harry cared about at the moment. "How do you feel?"

Was there a word for feeling dead, but knowing you were alive? "I have been better. I don't ever recall being affected this badly by just being under Cruciatus; I have been tortured for hours and not suffered this much."

"Madam Pomfrey says it's probably because of our link; you suffered not only your pain, but mine as well. My pain was more intense as well, but nothing near what yours must have been."

Yes, Severus could attest to that fact; he didn't think Harry would be able to withstand such torture. Perhaps that was unfair, and Severus shouldn't think Harry as weaker than him, but he knew it was the protective alpha in him protecting his mate. It was a thought that would normally make Severus happy and perhaps bring a smile to his face, but not this time. "Harry, I think Voldemort has found out about you being half of a soul mating. He informed me that your powers would be increasing, and he would make sure his powers did the same. I do not think we can wait any longer; we need to act now. The more time Voldemort has, the closer he will come to the truth. Yes, he thinks you to be weak and vulnerable right now, and he snapped your wand, so he knows you no longer have that. Wandless magic is not what he is expecting, but the longer he is allowed to ponder your situation, the threat of danger will increase for you."

Harry nodded. He was ready now. "Severus, I'm ready to go in there anytime, but we have to know that we can get Sirius; I'm not leaving without him." Of course, he would if he had to; he wasn't stupid, nor did he have a death wish, and he knew Severus would drag him out by force if need be, but he wanted to get Sirius if it was at all possible. He'd lost him once; he wasn't prepared to lose him again.

"Draco will not let us down, Harry. He said he is getting closer to locating Sirius."

**~*~**

"My Lord, I have found the book you requested and it does mention what you are looking for."

"Very good, Lucius. Yes, I had a feeling it would. So, it would seem Mr Potter has a soul mate. As much as I would gain from being his other half, I hardly think that to be the case. No, in order for him to have disappeared from here, his soul would have to already have found its match. Whoever it is, the two of them are now working as one. That is why it is more imperative than ever for me to get my hands on Potter; I must have his soul. It is more important than we previously thought – it is our only hope, Lucius. The boy will be more powerful than Merlin if this bond is allowed to remain until its completion. I have worked too hard for all of this to be in vain. He will die, Lucius."

"Yes, Master." Lucius had been the one who had initiated the research into _Substringo Infinitio_, convinced that he was going to bring Potter down once and for all with this revelation. Unfortunately, Lucius had a very good idea who Harry's soul mate could possibly be. If it were anyone else, the Death Eater would have no second thoughts about going ahead with the Dark Lord's plans, but if it were Severus, then Lucius had a problem. The two men were hardly on friendly terms these days, but they once had been. Severus had been Lucius's only friend for most of his life: he had been the one to comfort him when James had died, and he had been his lover, if only for a brief time.

Lucius had never been able to accept the callous attitude Severus had regarding Voldemort, and he had always known in his heart that Severus wasn't truly working for the Dark Lord. He had turned him in the previous year because he was hurt and mad, but when it came time for Severus to be punished for his actions, Lucius had warned him. Even now, Lucius knew Severus was working for Dumbledore, and he didn't care. As long as Lucius could maintain his lifestyle, it mattered little to him what happened to anyone else, including Voldemort.

Lucius might've had a soft spot for Severus, but that did not extend to Potter. Lucius wanted to see the younger Potter suffer just as his father had. Unfortunately, Lucius knew if the boy were killed while sharing a soul with Severus, his partner would die soon after. Lucius needed to talk to Severus and see if he could perhaps glean some information from his former lover and best friend.

**~*~**

_"You will never be alone, Lucius; I will always be here for you."_

Severus woke up with a start. Glancing down, he saw and felt Harry's body cradled against his. Severus was careful not to make any sudden movements, but he was shaking.

_Why did I have that dream again? _

Severus had meant the words his dream had recalled… at the time; he and Lucius had been involved in a short but intense relationship. Lucius had accepted Severus's comfort after James's death, and had sought solace in the other man's arms, before taking his friend to bed. Severus had been lonely, so he had basked in the attention Lucius showered him with. Fortunately, Severus had realized that his relationship with Lucius could go nowhere but downhill before he became emotionally attached, or more attached than he already had been, that is. Severus had never accepted being a Death Eater, and would be damned if he would give his heart to one.

Severus had pushed their time together out of his mind, but when Harry told him what Lucius had done to him, it had all come back. Severus knew he had to tell Harry, but he didn't want to hurt him. Lucius, while always loyal to his Death Eater ways, had always retained a semblance of a heart, but this Lucius now seemed to be someone all together different. Severus knew this was what remained of Lucius after being beaten down his entire life. He had nothing to lose, and wanted to inflict suffering on as many people as he could.

_"What is wrong, Severus? I can feel that you are tense."_

_"I was just thinking about some things that you and I need to discuss, things that I do not look forward to talking about."_

_"You can tell me anything. You have been there for me, and I will be there for you. I think for now you should try to get some more sleep so you can get your strength back."_

_"Only if you do the same."_

Soon, Harry and Severus were sleeping peacefully, hands joined together as if they were holding on to each other for dear life.

Harry woke as the first rays of sun were beaming into the window of the hospital wing. He carefully extricated himself from Severus, got out of bed, and walked to the window. Harry missed seeing the sunrise; being in the dungeons had not allowed him the option of watching it as he had when he was in Gryffindor Tower.

Severus opened his eyes and saw Harry looking out the window. He noticed how peaceful and content he looked and made a silent promise to Harry that he would do everything he could to make sure that look never left his face. Getting out of bed gingerly, Severus walked over to Harry and embraced him from behind. "You miss this, don't you?"

Harry turned around and placed his arms around Severus. "Yeah, it always helped calm me. From the time I was around three, I remember watching the sun rise and being in total awe of it. It was one of the only good things about my aunt and uncle's house: their lounge had a window that you could look through and watch the sunrise."

Severus looked towards the sunrise and then looked back at Harry. "Harry, we need to talk. There is something you must know." Severus led Harry back to the bed and sat him down before sitting down beside him. Severus took a deep breath before continuing. "I need to tell you something that happened in my past, because you will invariably hear about it, probably from the source, and I want to be the one to tell you and explain what happened before you hear it from someone else."

Harry looked perplexed and wanted to say something, but only nodded his head for Severus to continue.

"Harry, Lucius and I had a brief relationship almost sixteen years ago."

Harry opened his mouth but nothing came out. He looked in Severus's eyes and saw hurt and sadness. He finally forced himself to speak. "You and he were lovers?"

Severus continued in a voice so soft that Harry had to strain to hear what was being said. "Yes. As I have told you, he and I grew up as best friends. He was in love with your father, but when James was killed, Lucius was distraught. I was with him when he found out and held him in my arms while he cried. Then Lucius kissed me, and it went from there. I had never received that type of attention from anyone Harry, and the thought that someone wanted to be with me was such an overwhelming feeling that I allowed myself to be carried away, and Harry, I loved every minute of it. Lucius showered me with affection; it was a concept I was not aware of since my family was so reserved when it came to showing me anything other than loathing.

"I cannot honestly say what my feelings for Lucius were but he did not love me, I knew that. I also knew that his being a Death Eater was his life and he had no room for anyone else. I had fallen in love with the idea of being in love and being showered with affection and attention, but no matter how much I wanted that, I couldn't allow myself to be taken into Lucius's world. When I told him we had to end things, he was very upset and said I should be fortunate that he had sought my attentions. He confirmed what my family had been telling me all my life: that I was not worth anything, and that I should be grateful for what little I could manage to get. When he said these words to me, it hurt. Lucius and I had been as close as brothers: we had shared everything, and the man who stood before me and said those hurtful things to me was not the boy I knew; he had turned into one of Voldemort's lackey's, someone who no longer had any emotions."

Severus paused so Harry could respond to what had been said, but then he decided that he needed to get everything out now, or he might lose his nerve. Harry continued to look at him, his expression not exactly readable.

"Lucius and I remain civil towards one another now, but that is it. He is not someone I recognise any longer. For obvious reasons, I wish to forget that part of my life that the two of us shared, but for other reasons, I never want to forget, the main reason being, when I was with him, I always knew what I wanted, and he was not it. He taught me what to look for." Severus thought about adding more, but stopped; he had said quite enough as it was.

Harry's face softened and he moved closer to Severus. It wasn't at all news he had wanted to hear, but at least he had heard it from Severus. "If Lucius finds out about you and me, I think we are in serious danger; he loathes me and will do anything to see me dead."

Yes, there was little doubt as to that. "Perhaps, Harry, but I still think there is a core of innocence within Lucius that hasn't been destroyed. It may be that I am giving him too much credit, but I do not think he would hurt me in any way, and since you and I are together, anything he did to you, would affect me, and if I know Lucius, Harry, he knows about us. He is highly intelligent and is out for himself. This is information I can see him withholding from the Dark Lord. I think Lucius might ultimately be our answer. I have never given up hope for him and will not do so now. I will say this, however – he will pay dearly for what he put you through, that much I am certain."

Harry nodded as he covered Severus's hand with his own. "I guess we should maybe feel sorry for him, Severus, but I really can't. He and you had almost identical childhoods. What made him turn so evil? You ended up with the Dark Mark, but you did it to spy on Voldemort—"

Severus shook his head emphatically. "No, Harry. I ended up with the Dark Mark because I could not suffer the endless raping and torture they put me through for two weeks. They took everything away from me and left me bare. I had resisted and was violated in new and vile ways; they thought it funny that they could experiment with me and discover new ways of torturing their victims. I cannot tell you how much those torture sessions changed me. Becoming a spy was a _result_ of my receiving the Dark Mark not the _reason_ for it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_"William Severus Snape -- get down here."_

_"Yes, Mother."_

_"Have you packed all of your things?"_

_"Yes, Mother, my trunk is ready to go."_

_"It will serve you well to remember what your father and I talked to you about last night. You have alienated your only friend, and if you know what is good for you, you will beg for his forgiveness. Lucius seems to care about you for some reason, and you do need someone, because you sure don't care enough about yourself."_

_"Mother, I will decide for myself who to be friends with."_

_"Suit yourself, Severus, but when you have no friends and are left all alone, do not come crying to me. I am unable to protect you, son, there are only three others who can do that for you."_

Severus woke up in a cold sweat. He had been having these dreams about his parents frequently, and they were becoming darker and more depressing. He remembered his childhood well enough not to have to depend on dreams to reveal the deterioration of his relationship with his family, so why was he suddenly being barraged with these dreams? And who were the three others his mother had been talking about? Lucius had to be one of them, certainly, but Severus had never had any other friends. These dreams were filling Severus with many unanswered questions.

As hard as he tried, he couldn't recall one pleasant memory of his mother. She had seemed to detest him from the moment she brought him home. Of course, Severus only knew this from other's accounts of his infancy, but once Severus was old enough, it hadn't required much thought on his part to conclude that his mother wanted nothing to do with him.

His father had been an entirely different story; he had always had time for the youngest Snape, and spent hours reading and talking with his curious child. Severus's father had called him by his first name, William, the name he had requested he be called. His full name was William Severus Snape, but the middle name seemed such a harsh name and did not fit him at all in his opinion; he cringed when he heard himself addressed as such. His mother would only address him by the hated name, knowing how much her young son detested it. His sisters would occasionally call him Sev, which he tolerated because he knew there was no malice meant when they said it, as opposed to their mother, but he still had not liked the nickname, not then anyway.

When Severus was four, his only means of stability disappeared from his life. His father had begun distancing himself from him, which had confused the young boy. While his father was not abusive nearly as much as his mother, his father began treating him with indifference.

This was also when his parents began having severe problems between them. Severus had known that he was the cause; it had always his fault when something went wrong, and everything was going very wrong.

Between the ages of four and eleven, Severus had found within himself a place where he could get away from the world, a place where he could be happy and not have to remember his unhappy existence. He created his own little paradise, and found himself spending more time in his conjured utopia than in real life.

When Severus entered Hogwarts, his imaginary world was set aside; he made a few new friends, and had for the most part, a peaceful six years at Hogwarts. Then, it all ended with the sudden death of his family soon before Severus was to begin his final year.

His father and he had begun to rebuild some of the bridges they had burned, and were becoming reacquainted with one another, and then the already insecure Slytherin's world was demolished in the span of not even an hour.

Severus would never forget the looks on the faces of his family as they were killed one by one, in front of him. As horrible as those images were, what Severus remembered the most about that day, was the way he had been treated. The Death Eaters avoided any confrontation with him, and almost seemed in awe of him as they systematically executed each of his family members.

The Death Eaters may not have confronted him, but the Ministry of Magic had harboured no such inhibitions: they had interrogated the surviving Snape, asking why had hadn't been killed and why was he was at his family home when he should have been elsewhere, asking when was he to receive the Dark Mark, etc. The questions had gone on endlessly for hours, and he'd been treated as if he were a criminal. Then, as if all of that hadn't been enough to be going on with, they hadn't allowed him to attend the funeral of his family. It had been a dark period for Severus, and unfortunately, his situation had continued to darken.

Severus rubbed his eyes and forced himself to calm down, but the images of the past were permanent fixtures in his mind, and once he began thinking about them, it was nigh impossible to cease the process; he knew it would run its course then leave him for a while until it was time to remind him once again how sad his life had been.

Currently, Severus was staring at the image of his mother being killed, her face expressionless as she stared directly into the eyes of her youngest son, as if blaming him for her death. Then came his father, also looking at Severus, but with a sad look of resignation on his face. Then his sisters and brother were killed – they were all crying and reaching out to each other. When the Death Eaters came to Severus, they simply lowered their wands and departed Snape Manor.

After it happened, Severus hadn't talked about what had happened to his parents and what hadn't happened to him. He'd been in shock and as such, wouldn't have been able to say much, but as the shock began to wear off, he'd begun to think that it was his fault that his parents had been killed, and he was ashamed to tell anyone. So much had gone wrong in his life and he couldn't bear to think that because of him his family had been murdered.

His family had been trying to sway him to the dark side, and Severus feared his family had been killed in retaliation for his refusal. His being left alive seemed to have confirmed his suspicions.

**~*~**

"Harry, are you sure you are ready? Once this begins, you know we will be unable to come in to get you and Severus if anything goes wrong. You and he will be on your own until Voldemort is taken care of. Only then will we send in the Aurors."

Harry gulped. Although he had an idea that this would all work out and that Dumbledore would indeed send Aurors in it needed – at any time – he still worried. He'd been the cause of death before and didn't want to have a repeat today. He steeled himself and nodded. "Severus and I are ready, Professor. We know the risks and are willing to take them. Everyone knows their assignments, so all that is left for us to do is go in there." Thagt sounded confident. Harry calmed himself; he couldn't afford to allow his nervousness to show.

"Very well, Harry. The two of you may proceed, you know what to do."

"Yes, sir."

Harry reached down and ran his fingers over the gold band that he wore on his right arm; Severus had given it to him on his Birthday. Professor Flitwick had charmed it specifically for Harry. It was charmed to turn silver whenever he or Severus was in danger, or whenever they needed one another. Severus had one made for himself, Harry, and one for situations such as this, when someone else needed to know if the two soul mates were in trouble. Harry took out the third band and handed it to the Headmaster. "We will signal you when we are ready."

"We will be there, Harry. May Merlin be with you and Severus."

"Thank you."

**~*~**

Harry walked into Severus's sitting room and found him asleep on the sofa. He sat down and gently shook the peaceful looking wizard. He didn't want to wake him, but he hadn't a choice. "Severus?"

Severus opened his eyes and sat up quickly. "Merlin, Harry, we will be late."

"We have time, Severus." Harry wished his voice would cease shaking; it was frustrating, and he hated that Severus looked at him with such sadness

Worry was written on Harry's face and Severus wanted to reassure him that all would go according to plan, but he wasn't at all daft – he knew all too well what could happen, and he knew from experience that it was best to expect the worse, then anything less would be a success. This time, Severus couldn't even think about the worst happening, because… well he just couldn't. "Harry, I am confident this can happen the way we planned, but you must realise that we are not walking into this situation assured of the outcome. My worries lie not with Voldemort, but with the Death Eaters. You and I are going to be taxing our reserves today and it will not be easy on either of us. I want you to be prepared." Severus would not fill Harry with false hope.

There was a lot to be said for honesty. Yes, there was a lot to be said for dishonest at times, as well, but Harry appreciated Severus's candor; it showed that he truly respected Harry, and that meant the world to him. He embraced Severus and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I am, Severus. Don't think I'm being overly optimistic, because I'm really nervous. I know we have to be alert and aware of everything around us. Severus, if something happens and we can't get Sirius out alive, I don't think I can go through all of that again. Losing him once almost killed me."

"Yes, I know, Harry, and I do not want either of us having to face that prospect again; we can only pray that this works out for all of us, but you do understand that you are _my _priority: if it is time to go and we have not got Sirius yet, then we go. I will not allow you to lose your life trying to save him. You can hate me forever afterwards, but just know that is how it is going to be."

It was no less than Harry had expected. He gave a slight nod and felt his chin beginning to quiver. "We will be with each other the entire time?"

"I hope so, Harry, but I cannot be assured of that. When we first get there, you know that I will be working as Voldemort's servant. He may ask me to do something that takes me away from you; I will have to adhere to his demands. But, as I have told you, he will not administer potions without my presence. We will not be separated for long, if at all; I will be there to help you." Severus hated that Harry was so upset and he wanted to do something to help, but there wasn't a thing he could do. But he could try. He took Harry's face in his hands and looked him in the eyes. I love you, Harry. Never forget that." He watched as Harry nodded again. This had to work out. "Did you give Albus the other band?"

"I did."

"Voldemort is expecting us at noon. I will go change into my robes and we will be off."

Severus changed then returned to his place beside Harry. He took Harry's hands in his and placed a quick kiss on his forehead. "I love you, Harry."

When Harry and Severus reached the Apparition point, they looked at each other and nodded, but neither said a word. Everything that Severus had been researching, and everything that he and Harry had been rehearsing in their heads was about to be put to the ultimate test. Severus knew that all of his research had brought the two of them to this place, but he also knew that when it came time to end Voldemort, he and Harry would use whatever they needed. There was a possibility that the information both men had gone over wouldn't be used, but Severus always prepared for every possibility; he would not enter a situation such as this, unprepared, especially when he had someone such as Harry to protect.

Severus took out his wand, took a deep breath, then pointed it at Harry. With a few words, the younger man was covered with dirt and blood, fell to the ground, and began rolling around in agony. Severus placed his Death Eater mask over his face, knelt beside his young lover and caressed his cheek before gently lifting him into his arms. He Apparated them to the Riddle House.

**~*~**

Severus placed the limp body of Harry on the ground at the Dark Lord's feet, then bowed to the monster before stepping back and waiting for further instructions.

"You please me, Severus. Bringing me the boy will bode well for you, my faithful servant. I do believe it is time for Potter to meet his master – Reenervate."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and after a few seconds focused them on Voldemort.

Voldemort was pleased with the reaction the _Boy Who Lived_ made; the boy's eyes widened and his features distorted themselves into ones of fear.

"Stand up, Potter."

Harry remained where he was and braced himself for what he thought would follow. Voldemort had to make the moves; Harry had to play the obstinate prisoner if this was going to work.

Voldemort could have placed Harry under Imperius, but instead, he walked over to the young man and jerked him to the standing position. Looking straight into green eyes, the red ones moved to within inches of them. "So we meet again. Fortunately, for me, this time there will be no escaping. There is no one to help you now, Potter." Voldemort let go of Potter and watched as the boy fell back to the ground. Walking the few steps that separated him from Severus, Voldemort laughed, manically. "May I see the potion, Severus?"

"Which one, Master?"

"Oh, let me think…ah yes…I think the soul-clearing potion will be what is needed." Voldemort looked at Potter and laughed, then quickly returned his attention to Severus.

Severus removed one of the two phials he had in his robes. After handing the phial to the Dark Lord, Severus launched into evil laughter: it was time for him to play his role; he knew he'd better do a damned good job of it if he didn't want to end up dead and have the same fate befall Harry. "Do you want to administer the potion, Master, or shall I?"

"I want to savor the look in the boy's eyes when his life is being squeezed out of him; you may do the honors, Severus."

"Thank you, Master. Seeing Potter being separated from his soul will undoubtedly be quite amusing." Severus sneered at the boy and mocked the Gryffindor's facial expressions, which conveyed pain.

"Potter, open your mouth."

No response

"Potter, NOW, open your mouth."

No response

Severus looked at the Dark Lord who only nodded his head. Severus slapped Harry across the face. "You dare to disobey a direct order from my Master?"

Again, Harry felt Severus's hand meet his face with a hard slap, then he felt Severus's hands on either side of his mouth, prying it open. Imperius would be so much easier to use, but Severus had already told Harry he'd not use an Unforgivable on him.

Harry fought to keep his mouth shut, but Severus eventually managed to open it enough to pour half the contents down his throat. "Now, now, Potter, that was not so bad, was it? You should know not to fight the inevitable. My Master always gets what he wants." Severus threw Harry down to the ground and kicked him.

Harry glared at Severus and tried to spit at him, but the effects of the potion should be taking effect so Harry feigned dizziness and allowed his eyes to roll around towards the back of his head before slowly returning them, albeit unsteadily, to face Voldemort. For all intents and purposes, it appeared as though Harry was in a trance.

Voldemort approached his now seemingly soulless victim, placed his hands on either side of the boy's head, and began chanting in a monotone voice.

Severus, who was standing behind Harry, turned around and touched his gold band alerting the others that it was time to surround the perimeter. Since no one knew where the Riddle House was located, it was fortunate that Albus received the coordinates when he received Severus's message.

Harry knew it was time to act. He was sure that Severus had already called the Headmaster and the Aurors. Concentrating as hard as he could, Harry connected with Severus, the two of them focused their energy on Voldemort, and with all of their energy they could grasp, the two of them counted backwards from three:

Three

Two

One

_"Expello Animus sed Subvertio Corpus."_

Instantly, both men felt a rumbling and then heard a scream coming from Voldemort.

Voldemort turned towards the two men and pointed at Severus as he began to speak, his voice already slurred and weak. "I knew out of the four of you, it would be you who betrayed me; it could have all been yours, Severus." Slowly, Voldemort began to sway, and then his eyes rolled back in his head after giving the two men a look of pure evil. Then his body began to come apart; his skin and everything that made up Lord Voldemort was returning to its earthly form, leaving behind only dust and air. Within two minutes, the process was complete and Voldemort was no more.

Severus went to Harry's side because the younger man had fainted. "Reenervate. Harry? Are you okay?"

"Is he gone?" Harry asked as he sat up and placed a hand on his chest and closed his eyes. His ribs were on fire.

"He is, I saw him disappear before my eyes."

"Do you think he is really gone?"

"Yes, Harry. There is no way Tom Riddle will ever come back again."

Harry reached up and kissed Severus, who returned the kiss with fervor. It hurt like hell, but he couldn't be bothered to care.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore, Harry, you are safe." Severus then bowed his head and within seconds Harry lifted it up with his fingers. "What's wrong, Severus?"

"You're hurt. I've injured your ribs again. I didn't mean to kick you so hard, Harry. I—"

"…did it because you had to, Severus, I know. You were convincing too; I'm glad we're on the same side. Seriously… you didn't hurt me that badly, and it all worked out fine." Harry reached up and placed a chaste kiss on Severus's lips before sitting back down. He wouldn't tell Severus how very much he was hurting; sometimes pain was a good thing. So when Harry felt his a tingling sensation, he smiled. Severus couldn't heal him, but he could help, and he had.

"It'll numb the pain until we can get you into bed," Severus said as he touched Harry's chest and smiled. "And no, not for that," he added as Harry gave him a wink. "Do you ever think of anything other than sex, Harry?"

"Not really. I am a young, virile male. Sex is my life, Severus."

Severus rolled his eyes. Just his luck he had ended up with a sex-crazed soul mate. When he felt Harry touch his sleeve, he frowned, but it changed rather quickly when Harry pushed up Severus's left sleeve: the Dark Mark was gone.

Severus looked in awe at the unmarked skin where the skull had been and could hardly speak, but he found his voice. "We should hurry and get Black before the Death Eaters start appearing; I do not even know if they can without the Mark, but they will be curious as to what is going on."

As Harry and Severus exited the room, Albus, Minerva, Arthur Weasley, and six Aurors appeared. Albus stepped forward. "Is he gone, Severus?"

"Harry and I were able to expel his soul then destroy his body. I watched as he was reduced to dust; Tom Riddle lives no more." Severus pulled up his shirtsleeve and showed everyone.

"Let's go get Sirius; Lucius will be here soon." Draco had given him the exact location of Sirius's cell, Harry trusted Draco, but he was beginning to feel uneasy.

"_This is going too well; something is bound to go wrong."_

_"Think Positively, Harry."_

_"I'm trying, Sev, but as many times as I've faced Voldemort, I know things never go according to plan."_

Reaching the cells, Harry ran in ahead of everyone else and was greeted with shouts and screaming. There were hundreds of prisoners in varying degrees of health. Harry thought he was going to be sick, his nose was met with the overwhelming smell of ammonia, and it took his breath away. Covering his mouth and nose with his cloak, he continued until he reached cell number 333. Looking in, he saw a figure lying on his side on a mattress, facing the wall. Tears stung Harry's eyes; his godfather, whom Harry had buried almost two months ago, was only a few feet away, and very much alive.

The others came up behind Harry, but Albus had them all retreat, leaving Harry and Sirius alone. "We will be outside the door if you need us, Harry."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

"Sirius?" Harry said tentatively. He didn't want to startle him. There wasn't any movement for a few seconds, but slowly, the other man turned over so that he was facing Harry.

"H--Harry? How? Is he? Oh Harry, I thought I would never see you again."

"Alohomora." For all of the complex wards that were available for use in keeping people in or out, whichever one was intended, Voldemort's use of _Alohomora_ was a testament to how certain Voldemort had been of his superiority.

Harry opened the door and within a second had his face buried in his godfather's chest, and both were crying.

"Sirius, Voldemort's dead, Severus and I made sure he will never come back."

Sirius pulled back from Harry and gave him a quizzical look. "How did the two of you do it, and why are you calling Snape _Severus_?"

The more things changed the more they stayed the same. Harry should have chosen his words a bit more carefully. Sirius wasn't going to be happy at all when he found out about his godson and Severus Snape being together. "It's a long story, Sirius, one which I want to be able to tell you without rushing. We need to get out of here before Malfoy comes and finds us."

"Okay, then let's go."

Harry and Sirius walked out of the cellblock and joined the others. All but one of the Aurors had to remain and take care of the prisoners and search the grounds for Death Eaters. The remaining Auror walked in between Sirius and Harry as they proceeded to the Apparition point.

Then in a flash of blinding white light, which temporary rendered everyone sightless, Lucius Malfoy appeared. "Well, well, what do we have here – trying to rescue that poor mutt of yours, Potter? I think not." Lucius pointed his wand at Sirius, "Av …."

Lucius was blown across the room and landed in a heap near the door. Harry walked over to him and kicked him in the ribs. "I think so." After Harry made sure Lucius was secure under the binding hex, he gave him another kick to the ribs. "You sorry bastard."

Harry walked out and never looked back. Sirius and Albus were talking, so Severus caught up with Harry. "Are you okay?"

Harry didn't' say anything for the longest time, but then looked at Severus. "Yeah…fine."

"No you're not."

"Damn it, Sev, yes, I am. My godfather is alive and Voldemort is dead. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"Perhaps Lucius would be the reason. Please don't let him ruin this day for you. You deserve some happiness with Black."

Harry's immediate reaction was to say something extremely hurtful, but then he let a few seconds pass and realized that Severus only wanted to help. "Sorry, Severus, you're right. I'm just stressed; I need to spend some time explaining everything to Sirius about us. He won't be happy, that's for sure. But, if he loves me, he'll accept that we're together. I don't want to consider losing him again, but if he can't accept you as being the other half in my life, then he and I have no future together."

Severus hated that Harry's reunion with his godfather was being marred because of him. "Will you tell him today?"

"Yeah. He'll probably be staying with me tonight, so I might not see you until tomorrow. I really need him to understand everything."

There was a lot for Black to understand, but there was also a lot for Harry to understand, and now Severus was wondering if perhaps he shouldn't have told Harry what he would soon be finding out. "I did not and do not expect this to be easy, Harry; Black and I have a not so pleasant history, and it is going to take some time for him to accept me, if he ever can. He will not think I am worthy of his godson."

"Then I will just have to convince him otherwise. I have always wondered why the two of you loathe each other so much, it has to be more than the Shrieking Shack incident."

Severus looked pensively at Harry and fortunately, Harry seemed to understand, and didn't make any further enquiries.

"I'm going to talk to Sirius. I'll try to come see you after we eat, okay?"

"Sounds good. I would kiss you, but that would really freak Black out; not that I wouldn't enjoy that, but I will play nice." But, really, Severus wanted so badly to take Harry in his arms and plunder those lips; his Harry was safe, and their future looked a bit brighter. That Black would be witnessing it would merely be icing on the cake. But Severus knew Harry would never go for such a thing, and would probably become upset – whatever he would do, it wasn't worth it so Severus settled on using his imagination.

"How gallant of you." Harry wouldn't put it past Severus to still kiss him; it would be so very Severus.

"Only for you, Harry.

Harry ran to catch up with Sirius and hugged him as they were walking. "You don't know how happy I was to hear you were alive. When I thought you had died, I lost it, Sirius."

"Albus was just telling me about what you went through. I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Unfortunately, everything that happened was Obliviated from my memory. The last thing I remember is when I was about to enter the Dursleys' house. The next memory I had was waking up in a cellar full of people speaking Italian and French. I think somehow I ended up in Rome."

"Malfoy was the one who brought you back to the Riddle House," Harry said shaking his head.

"I was drugged the entire time; I have no concept of time or places during my imprisonment."

"I think we will be able to get some answers when the Death Eaters are rounded up. Draco compiled the master list of everyone and as of right now, the Ministry is sending out Aurors to bring them in. Now that we have Draco's dad, we should be able to find out what happened."

"Only if he's given Veritaserum; he will never volunteer information, Harry."

"Fine, then we give him Veritaserum. I don't care how we get him to talk. That bastard is going down, and I hope to be the one to drive the final nail into his coffin."

Sirius looked worriedly at his godson. "I know you have never liked the Malfoys, but what happened, Harry? I have never heard you speak with such venom in your voice."

Harry was almost shaking. He really should learn to control his temper. "A few days after I thought you had died, I was kidnapped." Harry didn't want to have to explain how or by whom. "Lucius tried to rape me."

"Fuck."

"But for some reason, he couldn't. Something was blocking his entrance." Sirius gave Harry another quizzical look. "Sirius, I have a lot to tell you that will explain some of the things that have happened recently. Much of it will not be what you want to hear, but you must promise to listen to what I have to say with an open mind."

"Harry, I've always given you the benefit of the doubt."

_I'm wondering if you would say that if you knew Snape and I were lovers... and soul mates._" Just remember that then after I have my say, Sirius," Harry said, having to stifle a laugh. Harry doubted that his godfather had ever had to give anyone the benefit of the doubt regarding Severus.

"So, are you going to keep me in the dark, or are you going to tell me?"

"Not now – over dinner."

"Okay."

Harry looked at his godfather and shook his head: it seemed too good to be true that he was talking to Sirius: the images of his godfather lying in the casket were so very vivid and brought a frown to Harry's face, but he quickly forced himself to grin when Sirius looked at him oddly. "You're really here; I just don't want to wake up and have this all to have been a dream."

"This is real, Harry, I'm here, and I don't plan on going anywhere for a long time."

_Expello Animus sed Subvertio Corpus — Latin for Expelling the soul (person's character) and also destroying the body._


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Harry sat down beside his godfather, who seemed a thousand miles away, and wondered what he must be thinking. This was all so very surreal. Harry could only hope this wasn't a dream or a bad joke. "Sirius?"

"Sorry, Harry. This is all a bit overwhelming for me," Sirius replied as he looked around the room. "I didn't think I'd ever get out alive. When I heard your voice, I thought for sure you had to be a ghost, and when I saw your face, I didn't know what to think."

"I can't believe you're really alive. It doesn't seem real, but it is. It's just really weird. We saw you in the casket, and whomever it was looked so much like you."

That was what Sirius hated the most: that his godson had had to mourn his death. He knew how distraught Harry must have been. "Draco informed me of everything that happened regarding my supposed death, your relatives' deaths, and Hermione's parents' deaths. I wish I could've been there for you." There was so much Sirius wanted to say, but he didn't want to overwhelm Harry.

So did Harry. "You would have been here if you could've. It's a long story, how this all came about, one that I'm sure Dumbledore will tell you, but as soon as we confirmed you were alive, we devised a plan to rescue you. I still can't believe it worked. I'm curious to know who was in your casket; whomever it was looked exactly like you, and passed through the wards. I could even feel the dying magic radiating from your body and it matched your energy field."

"I would guess it had to either be a Death Eater who had been killed for punishment, or one of the imprisoned Muggles that was given Polyjuice. I'm sure Voldemort had his ways of cloning others, so to speak."

Yeah, that is what Harry thought as well. "How was Draco able to see you?"

"From what he told me, his father requested that he be the one assigned to me. Each prisoner is assigned to a Death Eater. Everyone participates in the 'activities', but the one person is responsible for getting said prisoner to where he or she is supposed to be at all times."

Harry had a funny feeling in his stomach; something wasn't right. Lucius wasn't certain of his son's loyalty to his master, so why would he trust his son with such a valuable prisoner? Lucius was proving to be much more of an enigma than Harry had believed he could ever be. From what Severus had told him, Lucius gave in to his parents at an early age and from then on was a dedicated follower of Voldemort. Severus still believed there to be some good In Lucius. That thought had seemed impossible to Harry, but something was definitely going on. Lucius seemed to be having conflicting emotions; he had killed Hermione's parents but had saved Hermione's life, then turned around and tried to rape him. Then he had allowed his son access to Sirius. Lucius was giving mixed signals, and Harry wanted to know why.

A house-elf popped in with their food, which was devoured within minutes. Harry had been too nervous to eat anything before he and Severus left earlier, and Sirius hadn't had proper food in almost a month. Fortunately, Harry had asked Dobby to bring extra food.

After the food had disappeared, their conversation continued.

"You seem to be doing much better than Draco said you were doing about a month ago. Draco said you were quite ill for a few days."

"Yeah, that's what I've been told. It's all sort of fuzzy – those few days, but I know that thinking you were dead was hard for me to deal with, and then I was kidnapped and Lucius tried to rape me, so it hasn't been a good summer, but you're alive, and Lucius Malfoy didn't rape me, so things aren't as bad as they could be." _And I now have someone to love me,_ he thought, but didn't dare say out loud. Soon enough, he'd have to, however.

"Will you tell me why Snape was with you today?"

Perhaps sooner than later. Harry had fervently hoped for the latter, but no time like the present, right? Wrong. Harry knew that this wouldn't go over well. He'd been debating what to tell Sirius – should he skirt around the truth, or not? He decided not to: Sirius was an adult, and if he couldn't accept what he was about to find out, then so be it. Taking a deep breath, Harry nodded and schooled his face into what he hoped was a un-readable expression – he was determined to get this out. He owed his godfather the truth. "I could tell you that Severus had as much right to be there as I did, because that is true, but the truth is that he and I discovered that we are soul mates earlier this summer and we have some new magical abilities that work best when both souls are together. Our being able to read each other's minds, is one of them." Had that come out right? Harry had said it all rather quickly, fearing he'd lose his nerve. Now, he felt as if cold ice were being put down the back of his shirt, and he willed Sirius to say something, anything. Harry couldn't stand the idea of losing his godfather, but more than that, he would not lose Severus. If he were younger and didn't care, Harry would allow his burning eyes to water his parched skin.

Sirius laughed for a few seconds, obviously thinking this was a joke. "You're not laughing."

"It's the truth." Harry prepared for his godfather's outburst.

Sirius stood and turned as if to leave, but turned back towards him. "You and Snape? It can't be, Harry. He's old enough to be your father, and… Harry, please tell me this isn't true. It can't be." Sirius threw up his hands and then closed his mouth.

Completely expected. Had Sirius been calm about what he'd been told, that would've alarmed Harry. This, however, Harry could deal with. Not that it would be easy, but he knew his godfather well, and loved him despite his many flaws. Harry knew he had more than a few of those himself. "Sirius what would you have me do, pass up this opportunity because of a twenty year difference in ages, and hope that someone else comes along who will love me for me, and not for who people think I am? Hell, when I first found out about Severus and I being soul mates, it kind of freaked me out, but you have no idea how close Severus and I have become. When I thought you were dead, he was there for me; he let me cry on his shoulder, and he helped me to see reason."

"Do you love him, Harry?" There was anger and sadness in Sirius's voice, and he looked as if he were about to possibly cry.

Harry hated that he had upset his godfather, but damn it, he deserved to be happy. "Yes. Sirius, you know that Severus has done nothing but protect me from the moment I entered Hogwarts. I never understood why he treated me as he did, but he has proven to me over the last two months that he loves me unconditionally. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and would like to do so with your blessing. You're the only family I have left, and I love you more than you could ever realise, but if you can't accept me being in love with Severus, and him with me, then I can't continue to be a part of your life. Severus is my life now, and I hope you can accept that."

Sirius shook his head and looked towards the ceiling.

"You should also know that our being soul mates is actually a result of this bond called _Substringo Infinitio_. The powers gained far exceed any power's possessed by normal wizards. I have the research if you want to see it; it's irreversible. Severus and I will be connected forever." He decided not to tell Sirius that he actually didn't have to be around Severus for the bond to still be active; that would be foolhardy and would not serve a purpose other than to further upset his godfather, who already looked distraught enough as it was. But he wasn't yelling or throwing things. As much as that seemed a good thing, Harry didn't think so – not with Sirius. Why was he acting like this? Why wasn't he demanding that Harry not continue this?

"Sirius, before this summer, I'd never thought of Severus as anything other than my 'greasy git' Potions professor. I didn't know about this soul mate thing until Severus and I had already become quite attached – he was the one who helped me when I thought you'd died. When we found out about us being soul mates, I hadn't yet realized how much I cared for him, but now I know that I care for him very much, Sirius, and yes, I do love him. And no matter what you might think of Severus, it was Severus's and my newly acquired abilities which allowed me to Disapparate away from The Riddle House when I had been taken prisoner, and it was what helped us to rescue you." Harry pleaded for Sirius to say something. His continued silence and empty look were about to drive Harry spare.

Sirius returned to the chair and put his shaking head in his hands. Lifting it a few seconds later, he had tears in his eyes, one about to begin its trek down the lined, aged face. "I'm sorry Harry, I really want you to be happy, but asking me to accept Snape? I can't." Sirius then shook his head and took another shaky breath as he looked around the room.

Scared is the word that best described how Sirius looked, and Harry needed to know why. He didn't have a good feeling about this. "There has to be something you're not telling me, Sirius. I know this thing between you and him goes further back than the Shrieking Shack incident. I mentioned this to Severus this morning, and his face had fear and sadness written all over it. He didn't want to talk about it and I told him not to worry, that it would wait for another day. I need to know. You are my godfather, and he is the man I love and the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I will not lose him."

Sirius again stood and began pacing. If there was one aspect of his life that he wanted to forget, it was this; the very thing that Harry was asking him to talk about. "Harry, it's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just… it's not easy for me to talk about." Sirius returned to the chair and looked at Harry.

"Did Severus do something to you?"

"No, _Snape_ has never done anything to _me_, Harry," Sirius said, malice dripping into each syllable as he looked at Harry for the longest time, and as his face continued to crumple.

Harry watched as the grief spread across his godfather's face and couldn't imagine why. He tried to think of anything that he had been told, then it came to him and he wondered if he might know what Sirius was going to say. It would make sense, but no, that couldn't be it, could it? "Your parents." Sirius nodded and Harry's face fell; he could feel the tears stinging his eyes. He had asked once, two years earlier about Sirius's parents and had been told rather snottily that it was not a subject to ever be brought up again. Harry hadn't.

"His father was one of the Death Eaters who killed my parents."

Harry was unable to speak. No. Merlin, no. But he knew it had to be the truth. He allowed a tear to fall, but roughly wiped it away as he waited for Sirius to continue.

"I saw them as they died, Harry. I was only four, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. They were so scared. My mother was holding me, but I was taken by one of the Death Eaters. I was young, but I remember screaming for my mummy. I just wanted mummy.

"I went to live with my aunt and uncle the next day, and I had a pleasant upbringing; they treated me as one of their own. They had two children and we all got along well. I never wanted for anything – money can buy comfort, Harry, but it can never replace the safety of your parents.

"When I was eleven, I entered Hogwarts, which I was excited about, but that euphoric feeling didn't last long. You can imagine my surprise when I was forced to look into the eyes that had killed my parents. I had never known who exactly killed them, but my father had managed to pull off the mask and see the face of his killer. I saw it as well – coal black eyes, emotionless – copies of the eyes that were boring holes through me as I sat to be sorted. I forced myself to not be sick, but as soon as the sorting was over, I ran from the room and wretched in the nearest toilet.

"I knew that this person hadn't killed my parents, but was certain it had to be his parents, and that made him the child of a Death Eater. From that moment on, I hated him. When I became friends with your father and Remus, I told them about Snape's parents and they joined in my hatred of him. I wanted to make his life the hell my life had been. Then Peter came along and even though he never was quite one of us, he was another ally in our common objective to make Snape's life miserable. We weren't overly cruel, nor did we act often, but we let him know he wasn't welcome. He never retaliated. Lucius Malfoy and him were friends, although not close ones. The two of them ignored us for the first four years. Then in fifth year, James and Lucius began seeing one another." Harry nodded his head, Sirius knew that his godson must be aware of that piece of information already. "I think they must have had a huge falling out because then both Lucius and Snape began messing with us as we had with them for the past four years.

Things went from bad to worse quickly. That is when we thought of trapping Snape in the Shrieking Shack. I admit that my rage was such that I didn't think of what the consequences of our actions could have meant. Your father fortunately did, and pulled Snape out before he was injured. But from that point, Snape withdrew. He never tried retaliating against us. I should've wondered why, but I didn't care."

Harry knew he was going to be sick. "Did Severus know what his parents had done, Sirius?"

"No, not until our seventh year. He and Lucius were doing some work in the library when they came across some old newspapers. Apparently, Snape read an article about my parents being killed by Death Eaters. That was bad enough I'm sure, but in the picture that was taken of the room where my parents were killed, there was a ring on the floor, a ring that had belonged to Snape's father, a ring that had been passed down through his family for generations. According to Madam Pince, Snape started screaming and had to be sedated in the hospital wing. A few weeks later, Snape approached me and asked if we could talk. At the time, I had no idea of what he had found out. I told him to say what he had to then get out, so he did. He apologised for what his father had done and then ran off; I am sure I heard him crying as he left. I never did accept his apology.

"When I found out he had become a Death Eater, I was infuriated, and my hatred of him grew. Then James and Lily were killed, and knowing that he was _one of them_ increased my hatred of him. I never believed he was a spy for Dumbledore. I know now that was wrong on my part, but that has never changed my loathing of him. In recent years, you could say the two of us have learned to tolerate being in the other's presence, but neither of us like it."

Harry felt his heart break for his godfather and for Severus. This was so unfair. "I'm sorry about your parents, Sirius. No child should have to go through what you did, but Severus diidn't have anything to do with them being killed. Severus never wanted to be a Death Eater and had a bad relationship with his parents. If you had got to know him, you would have known he wanted to be a regular child and he wanted friends. I'm sure you are aware that Severus's entire family was also murdered by Death Eaters just weeks before seventh year began?" Sirius nodded. "He believes his family may have been murdered in retaliation for him refusing to join Voldemort. He loved his family, Sirius, even after they abused him. Severus never had a loving relationship with his parents as you did; he was not only abused, and ignored, but he was also ridiculed by his mother because he wanted to remain on the light side and not cross over and grovel at Voldemort's feet. Severus is scarred, Sirius, and he doesn't think he deserves to be loved by anyone. I may have finally convinced him otherwise, but I certainly don't need you throwing this back in his face. By the way, I am only telling you these things because you have to understand. You have always judged people too quickly. I certainly am glad I didn't judge you, Sirius." Harry knew he needed to calm down; he hadn't meant to work himself up so much, but he was upset and didn't know what to do. He felt so badly for Sirius, but he felt equal pain for Severus, probably more. "Thank you for telling me, Sirius. I think I can understand why you initially felt the way you did towards Severus, but you should've realised that a four-year-old child cannot be held responsible for the actions of his parents, who were adults. I need to go to him, but I'll be back later."

Harry left a broken Sirius Black to his own devices. The man was bitter because life had been cruel to him: his parents had been taken from him; his best friend and his wife had been murdered, and he had been accused of betraying them; and now he was close to losing the one thing in his life that he cherished more than anything else: Harry.

Sirius hadn't been able to fulfill his role as godfather until the end of Harry's third year, but in that brief time, the two of them had become close; Sirius considered Harry as a son.

As much as Sirius wanted Harry in his life, he didn't want Snape there. It wasn't rational for him to loathe the other man as he did, but he did and had done so for over twenty-five years. He wished to continue as he had, but he knew that wasn't an option, not if he wanted Harry in his life. It would be the death of him, he was sure, but Sirius would accept Snape. He had to.

**~*~**

Severus couldn't eat; he was worried about how Harry would react to what Sirius was surely telling him. Severus had long ago given up on trying to forge any kind of relationship with Sirius, but he no longer held any real animosity towards the other man. As much as it had hurt him when he found out why Sirius loathed him, he'd understood. He had always wanted to understand why he was treated as he was by Black and his friends, and finding out at least gave him his answer.

**~*~**

Harry entered the sitting room and saw Severus sitting on the sofa holding his head in his hands. Harry sat down beside him and put his right hand on Severus's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Did Black tell you?"

"He did."

Harry took Severus's hands away from his face and then wrapped his arms around Severus and held him. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Harry broke the silence. "Severus, I don't understand how Sirius could have blamed you for what happened. Yes, he was upset; I would be as well, but you were four years old when it happened. I told him I loved you, and if he wanted me in his life, he would have to come to terms with that. It's not good for him to keep carrying around this hatred for you, and I am aware by looking at you that it is upsetting you that he has blamed you all these years."

Severus wiped his eyes and looked at Harry. "I will never forget seeing that newspaper article, Harry. When I saw my father's ring, I lost it. Lucius had to take me to the hospital wing where I was sedated for a few days. Then I began having nightmares about what I had seen. I decided Black had every right to hate me. I think it was then that I began to realise that no matter how I wanted my life to turn out, it was already determined for me. I would always be "William Severus Snape, son of Death Eaters, and that would always keep people from wanting to get to know me. During our seventh year, I became somewhat close to your mother – we were Head boy and girl, and as such, spent quite a bit of time together. She and your father were dating, thus James and I had occasion to talk, which infuriated Black to no end. Your father and I never counted ourselves friends during our time at Hogwarts, quite far from it; we would only converse with one another when Lily was around, but other than that, I had nothing to do with him. I know James was on the receiving end of some heated words from Black; it was obvious that even with the two of them being best friends, their relationship was weakened because of me.

"When your parents were killed and Black was the one accused of betraying them, I had every reason to believe it to be true. It all fit the puzzle, Harry. Of course, now I know I was wrong, but at the time, I was so filled with hate that he could have done that to his supposed best friend. When Black escaped during your third year, I was filled with a rage I never knew existed within me. I was so tired of living other peoples' expectations and was ready to begin life for me. But, Black was out there somewhere, trying to get you, or so I thought. When I saw him with you in the Shrieking Shack, you cannot begin to imagine the fear I had for you. I was so scared he was going to kill you, Harry. When I saw him, you must believe me when I say that I saw someone who had turned, not to the dark side, but dark. I was almost certain he was not working for Voldemort, at least from what I knew, but I understood what caused people to turn in that direction, and Black fit the description, Harry."

"So then both of you have held a grudge for reasons that are not sound."

"You could say that, yes. No matter how much you want it, Harry, Black and I can never be friends. I can be civil in his presence, and I can even attempt to put aside our differences. To be his friend however, I cannot do that for a selfish reason. My parents did kill his parents, Harry. No matter that I was only four, it happened, and I am a reminder of that. Even if he forgave me, the guilt would stay with me. Please do not ask me to be his friend."

Harry wanted to yell and scream. "You have to let go of the guilt, Severus, especially since there is no guilt for you to feel. Your parents didn't ask you for permission to go kill, nor did they ask you if you minded that for the rest of your life you would be associated with being the child of a Death Eater, and would have to bear the wrath of that. They took it upon themselves, Severus." Harry had taken Severus's hands, and was holding them in his own. Severus was staring at him, but looking at nothing. His face was emotionless and void of any semblance of life. His eyes were dull and lifeless. This is what broke Harry.

"Severus, stop it, just let go. I love you and can't stand to see you like this." Harry was aware tears were streaming down his face, but ignored them. "Let me in, Severus, let me help you, please." Harry buried his head in Severus's robes, and cried.

He cried for his godfather who had to see his parents being murdered.

He cried for Severus, who had carried the weight of that murder.

He cried for himself, the godson and lover who would do anything to make life easier for the two people he cared for most in the world. Harry felt arms tighten around him and felt the release he had asked for. Hearing his own sobs increasing to meet those of Severus's, he tightened his hold and began whispering loving words and rocking them back and forth.

Several minutes later, Harry felt Severus kiss his neck, then another, and another. Harry wiped away the remaining tears and smiled. He and Severus would be just fine. A bit scarred and worse for wear, but just fine, nonetheless.

Severus withdrew his attention from Harry's neck and refocused it on that lovely, pink mouth that needed some attention. Evidence of earlier tears also drew Severus's attention, and he drew his thumb across Harry's right eye and then reached up and kissed the eyelid before resuming the kissing of those lips he so loved. Harry responded to the kiss, and Severus pulled him closer.

He knew he'd not survive if anything ever happened to Harry.

While Severus's lips kissed him, Harry tried to rein in his emotions as he basked in the warmth that was Severus. After their emotional talk, it was nice being pulled into those strong arms and to be held so lovingly. Harry felt the tension as it left his body and wondered if Severus felt the same. He pulled away briefly so he could situate himself on Severus's lap, then deepened the kiss and lost himself in his Severus's embrace.

Severus shifted his attention once again to Harry's neck where he left numerous love bites.

After making sure Harry's neck had been given its proper attention, Severus lowered his attentions and began removing Harry's robes. Pulling back, he looked longingly at Harry. "Thank you, Harry, for everything. I have been in love with you and have loved you for quite some time now, but until today, I really didn't understand how strong of a love it is. You are my life, and I love you…I…love you."

Harry got out of his robes, and launched himself at Severus.

It felt so good.

This felt so good.

Severus felt so good.

"I" kiss "love" kiss "you" kiss "Sev." Harry got on his knees and attacked Severus's chest, which was now robeless. He attached his teeth around one of Severus's nipples and heard Severis moan in his ear. "Mmmm, Sev, I love to hear you moan for me…turns me on."

"Well then, my young love, you will just have to make me moan some more, but not before we move this to the bedroom; I do believe we will need the extra room." Severus picked up Harry, who was attached to his hips and carried them into the bedroom, where he deposited his young lover before covering up the smaller body with his own. "Oh my Harry, you are so beautiful…so perfect…so…"

Interrupted

Someone was at the door knocking.

"Great timing." Severus wanted to ignore whoever it was and concentrate on his Harry, who was silently pleading with him to ignore whoever it was and give his attention to the growing need of his.

The knocking increased, however, and they knew better then to hope it would cease. Severus gave Harry a quick kiss before reluctantly removing himself from the warmth of Harry. He walked through the living room where he donned his robes that were on the floor, and then walked to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Snape, it's Black. Dumbledore asked me to come get you and Harry; he needs to talk to the three of us."

"We will be there in ten minutes," Snape said curtly.

Harry put his arms around Severus's back and hugged him from behind. "I heard. Could they have a little better timing? I have a problem that needs taking care of."

"Allow me to rid you of your problem; Albus can wait a few more minutes," Severus said as he turned around and gave Harry a smirk before he proceeded to lower Harry's pants to his ankles. For the briefest of moments, he stared, not quite believing this was now his life, but a needy grunt from Harry brought him back to the present. He then pushed Harry against the door and lowered his mouth onto Harry's problem that needed taking care of and listened as those grunts became higher and higher. They reminded Severus that he had a seventeen-year-old's cock in his mouth, which almost caused him to stop, but then he remembered that he wasn't going to think about anything other than what was in front of him: He wasn't going to think of the bond, and he wasn't going to think of Harry being young enough to be his son.

"Come for me, Harry."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

When Severus and Harry entered the Headmaster's office a quarter-hour later, happy and satisfied-looking, as if they had been doing something of the not-so-innocent variety, Sirius met them at the door and looked at them oddly. He opened his mouth, but after looking at Harry and seeing his happiness, he thought better, and shut it. Harry would be upset with him if he said anything, and it was best not to add to what would already be an upsetting next few minutes for Harry and Snape.

Seconds away from making a rather crude comment to Black, Severus received a rather stern look from Harry, and decided it would be better to remain silent: if he said anything, he mightn't ever get to do again what he had just finished doing to Harry: Smarting off to Black wasn't worth it. He instead focused on why they were in the Headmaster's office. Was it about Voldemort? Probably. Hopefully, this would be their last meeting about that sorry bastard.

Relieved that Severus hadn't said anything rude to Sirius, Harry nodded his head in thanks. It was for him that Severus had kept quiet, but Harry was appreciative all the same. Who knew all it took to quiet Severus Snape was a look? Harry grinned – Severus hadn't been so quiet minutes earlier; Now, if this meeting could just end quickly, he and Severus could continue where they had left off.

Sirius led them back to a larger room where five others were gathered, but only three of them were facing them. Both Harry and Severus looked questioningly at Sirius, then at one another, then back at Sirius. What was going on?

"Don't ask. Dumbledore will be meeting with you shortly," Sirius said, not even attempting to rein in his disappointment at the two people who were standing before him. He looked warily at Severus, then at Harry, and knew he had better change his attitude, but that was easier said than done. He tried to smile at his godson, and failed, but at least he did manage to quell the thoughts he wanted to voice – this wasn't the time or the place.

Albus made his way over to Harry and Severus. "I need to speak with the two of you in private before we join the others. Please follow me."

As he and Harry followed Albus to his office, Severus tried to figure out what was going on. There was something ominous about to occur; he had been in enough meetings in the Headmaster's office and he knew what the different moods and people meant. Harry looked at him pensively and Severus tried to look oblivious, but he knew Harry wouldn't buy that look for a moment.

"What's going on, Severus?"

Severus shook his head and mouthed for Harry to cease speaking, then he motioned his head towards Dumbledore and the other room.

Albus led Severus and Harry into his office and closed the door before turning to look at them. He didn't want to have to tell them this, but he had no choice. He had been trying to figure out the best way to tell them for the past several minutes, but nothing would make the bludger any less painful. He scratched his beard and pushed up his spectacles as he frowned. "I have found out some most disturbing news regarding Voldemort from Lucius, who was questioned by the Ministry and has agreed to cooperate with us by supplying Voldemort's plans and information. His interrogation took place while he was under the influence of Veritaserum, and I have yet to witness anyone lying under its effects." Albus had added this last part for Severus, who was sure to have a reason why Lucius was not to be trusted, and by the looks of Severus, Albus had been right; it gave him no pleasure. Normally, he'd allow Severus his say, but not this time: there wasn't time for that. Albus raised his hand and stopped Severus from speaking, and shook his head when Severus let out a frustrated sigh.

"Please listen to what I have to say, Severus, this is most important. Lucius was asked if Voldemort was dead, and he said no." Albus was a little stunned he had just come out and said it, but that had been the plan. He just hadn't thought he'd be able to go through with it. He was a man of many words, after all.

Now it was Harry who opened his mouth to speak, but Albus held up his hand once again. "When asked how Voldemort could have survived the curse thrown at him by both of you, Lucius said that Voldemort had given Remus Lupin a combination of Polyjuice potion and another potion to give the appearance and physical make up of himself."

"No!" said Harry as she shook his head and balled his hands into fists. That wasn't possible, only Harry knew that it was; with Voldemort, it seemed as if anything were possible. _Bastard._ Harry had had a bad feeling ever since he had walked in, and now he knew that this was only the beginning. Part of him wanted to run out of the office and not look back. He was so very tired of hearing bad news. Why did life have to crap on him so much? "No" His voice began to quiver. "No." Severus attempted to pull Harry to him, but Harry resisted and frowned. "No, no. Damn him. We killed Remus, then, Severus," Harry said, his voice only a whisper as he glanced toward the window and again shrugged off Severus's attempts to console him. How could this be happening? He felt a hand snake around his waist, and decided that pushing away wasn't helping, so he allowed himself to be pulled closer, but it did little to comfort him, and he stared ahead as he tried to listen to Dumbledore.

"…Sirius and Remus's deaths were faked; their bodies were those of Death Eaters who had been killed for disobedience, transformed to resemble in every aspect, Sirius and Remus."

Severus and Harry walked over to the window. They had killed Voldemort; they had been so sure. Neither one had considered that this scenario could play out, but from everything Severus had been though in his life, he should have been aware of this possibility. _We killed Remus._ "Does Lucius know where Voldemort is?" Severus asked as he turned back towards the Headmaster. Albus shook his head. "Where is Lucius? I need to speak with him."

"He is in the other room, Severus. You didn't see him when you and Harry entered earlier?"

If looks could kill… "No, I didn't see him, and surely you cannot expect Harry to face him. I will not allow it. Perhaps Lucius is trying to do the right thing by giving the Ministry and Order information, but that does not excuse his treatment of Harry." He could feel Harry's shaking hands in his, and squeezed lightly, trying to reassure him, but he knew that wouldn't help.

Albus felt badly about asking Harry to do this, but really, under the circumstances, there was no other choice. "Lucius was questioned by me regarding your attempted rape, Harry, and he confirmed your story. He also said that he wanted you for personal reasons and Voldemort had nothing to do with it. He then told of your father and him."

"So it is really true then? They were… they were er lovers?" Harry turned to Severus. "I know you told me they were, but I was really hoping you had been wrong." Harry kicked the leg of a chair, not even caring, then looked back at Dumbledore. "Go on. I know there is more."

Unfortunately, there was a lot more. "Harry we need his help, but I told him he would be able to work with The Order only if you agreed."

Harry opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything halfway decent to say. How dare the Headmaster ask this of him! Harry shook his head and looked at Severus, then back at Dumbledore. "No, you will not put this decision in my hands, Headmaster. Hell, Lucius Malfoy would have raped me if it hadn't been for Severus and me creating a shield. I don't ever want to see his face again, but we do need his knowledge, even as I am loath to admit it. I don't want anything to do with him, but this will not be my decision to make." Harry stared at Dumbledore, wanting him to understand that he would not be used… again. His entire life had seen him being used for others benefits, and he was tired of it.

Albus nodded. "Very well. When I questioned Lucius regarding his loyalty to Voldemort, he laughed and said he had been loyal until Draco had been summoned by Voldemort and told that he had an obligation to fill since he was his grandson."

Both Severus and Harry gasped, but said nothing. They looked at one another, then at Albus, but couldn't speak.

Albus frowned. "Before continuing with Lucius's comments, I need to inform you that I acquired some information just this morning that confirmed what Lucius told us next. I want to wait until all of you are together before telling the full story, but first I need to tell you about your connection to this, Severus. You must believe me when I tell you that I do not wish to tell you this, yet it is your right to know. This information is also vital because if you continued to remain unaware of it, your life could be in danger."

When had his life not been in danger? Severus was beginning to think that he had a permanent dark cloud following him; it seemed to be the case. "Albus, do us all a favour and tell me what I need to know; I have no patience for games this night."

"Very well. Severus, Voldemort wanted to assure that he had someone to succeed him, therefore he arranged to have four heirs; he found four women to sire him a son. As you are probably guessing, you are one of them."

Severus shook his head, his eyes wide, but he knew it had to be true; his life was just that thoroughly miserable. Of all the possible… he had to object; he felt helpless. "It can't be, Albus. How do you explain this?" Severus swept his hand over his body, a body that looked very much like his father's had.

Sadness didn't begin to define what Albus felt at this moment; he didn't want to add to Severus's burden, but that is what he was doing, and it pained him greatly. He really did think of Severus as a son, and as wrong as it seemed under the circumstances, he thought of Harry as a grandson. "I will explain everything, shortly, Severus. The other living heirs are in the adjoining room and have asked similar questions."

_Living heirs?_ Severus glanced towards Harry, shook his head, then walked out of the Headmaster's office, slamming the door behind him.

Harry moved to follow, but Albus stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. "Harry, you need to convince him to come back and listen to what I have to tell everyone; Severus will be putting himself in danger if he is not told what information I have found out. Also, no one else can know about this. Please go find him." Harry nodded and quickly left the Headmaster's office. He checked the dungeons, the Astronomy Tower, and anywhere else he thought Severus might possibly be. About ten minutes later, while he was in the Owlery, he glanced out the window and saw Severus with his head bowed, sitting under the large beech tree by the lake.

**~*~**

It had only taken him thirty-seven years, but he finally understood: his life made sense. The hatred, the neglect, the abuse, his father's withdrawal from him, his mother telling him she couldn't help and that there were only three others who could...

_The hatred_: his mother had never wanted him, or she had never wanted Voldemort's son. She had always been the faithful servant, bowing to her master's needs, but even she knew siring an heir was wrong.

_The neglect_: Severus had watched his brother and two sisters receiving attention and love; he wasn't worthy of love if he was Voldemort's son.

_The abuse_: Voldemort was all for abusing his followers to gain their submission; his only being a child wouldn't matter to Voldemort; it was all about power.

_His father's withdrawal_: As much as his father had loved him, even he couldn't accept that his youngest _son_ was in fact an heir to Voldemort. He felt betrayed.

_I was betrayed. _Severus let an evil laugh escape. _Tom Riddle: you must be so proud of your heirs; we have done so well under your tutelage. I have never been loyal to you, and now one of your other heirs has come over to join us, even if he was forced. Lucius appeared as he would take the gavel from you and wield his brand of dark magic just as you have been doing, but that will not be happening now._

_We all know you wouldn't have picked me because I was accused of being the spy. You reinstated me, which amuses me to no end. Voldemort, master of his domain, leader of the Death Eaters, believed that Severus Snape would never lie to him, believed that he could be trusted. You were the fool, Voldemort. _Severus closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down; it would do no one any good if he lost his temper or had a nervous breakdown, which he thought he might very well do. How much was one person supposed to be able to handle before it all became too much?

~*~

Harry quickly made his way outdoors and ran over to Severus, who looked up when he heard him approaching. "Severus, you can't run away from this. Albus needs to talk with you, and you need to listen to what he has to say."

"Hmph. What does one say to an heir of Voldemort, or in our cases, the heirs, Harry? Hell, I wonder who the other lucky minions are; well, we know that Lucius is one of them. He probably had already been chosen by Voldemort to take his position. Bloody hell, this is uncharacteristic even for Voldemort; if I were truly one of his heirs, he would have informed me, right? I am thirty-seven years old, for Merlin's sake; when was he planning on telling me? I suppose never, since I most assuredly did not meet his requirements to continue_ his most excellent business dealings." _Now Severus was mad – he was mad as hell. How dare someone play with his life like that.

"I am guessing Dumbledore has answers to at least some of your questions, Severus. Please come back in with me; I'm not leaving you alone to sulk." Yes, it had been a fool-hardy thing to say, but Harry didn't like where this was going. Severus was becoming more and more frustrated, and Harry didn't like to think what a really brassed-off Snape would be like. Just the mean-greasy-git-type was quite enough to be going on with.

Harry probably hadn't meant it as anything bad, but Severus, in his current state, was not having any of it. "I am most certainly not sulking, Harry. Hearing that _dear old Dad_ is Voldemort does not exactly make me want to jump for joy, so excuse me if I seem a little upset. Just go back and tell them I need some time to think. I want to be alone. " Severus said, his voice becoming more abrasive with each word.

"Don't take that tone with me, Severus, I'm only trying to help," said a now calm and much quieter Harry before he turned around and walked off. He returned to the Headmaster's office and told Albus that Severus wouldn't be joining them and that he was out by the lake.

While Harry was talking to the Headmaster, Sirius slipped out of the office. He had promised Harry he'd make an effort with Snape, and now seemed as good a time as any. Being that the two of them had just found out they were heirs of Voldemort, Sirius needed to talk to Snape, even if he didn't have any clue how he was going to approach him.

That had been the problem all along, hadn't it? Sirius had never known what to say to the son of the person who'd killed his father. Not that he had lost sleep because of that, but he had often wanted to know if Snape had known what his father had done. Truth be told, he had always known that Snape hadn't known, or at least he had hoped he hadn't; a child with that knowledge – well, that wasn't at all anything Sirius would wish on anyone, even Severus Snape.

No matter his inner-most thoughts, Sirius had treated Severus with such disdain since the first day they had attended Hogwarts over twenty-five years ago, and because of that, Sirius knew that he and Snape would never become friends. For Harry, he would make the effort to remain civil, but if Snape didn't want that, then Sirius wouldn't push him. Sirius wanted his godson to be happy, but he wasn't going to waste his time convincing Snape to do something he didn't want to do.

Severus heard movement through the grass and turned around to see Black walking towards him. _Just what I need: Harry's canine godfather. _"You may correct me if I am mistaken, Black, but I am quite familiar with Albus's meetings, and he never has had a meeting this short before. What are you doing here?"

"Harry returned and said you wouldn't be attending the meeting." Snape raised his eyebrow but said nothing. "He didn't look very happy, Snape; what did you say to him?" Sirius could feel the bile rising, but tried to calm down, _for Harry._

"That it is none of your business, Black," Severus spat out. How dare that mutt come out here and confront him. If Black wanted a confrontation, Severus would like to give him one… if only he could. He had Harry to think about, and that was all it took for him to step back, but he didn't lower his wand. Harry would be proud… or not – he would probably be yelling and telling him and Black to grow up. Perhaps he'd have a point. No matter, Harry wasn't here, and Black was.

If anyone were to happen upon this scene, they might think the two were about to duel: both pairs of eyes were locked on the other's, and both men had their hands on their wands, ready to initiate a hex at a second's notice. Wasn't it amazing how twenty years could come and go, yet time seemed to stand still? If Severus weren't so in the moment he might think that Lily and James were about to walk outside and ask what they thought they were doing.

"Snape, Harry is my godson, and if he's unhappy, it is my business, and even with the two of you being _soul mates_, I still intend on being a part of his life. If you can't accept my relationship with him, then sod off." So much for the trying to remain calm bit. Perhaps he had given himself too much credit. How could he ever be nice to Snape?

Severus released a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. It seemed once again as though he was going to have to be the bigger man. Well, he was, wasn't he? "I could say the same to you, Black, but I don't want us at each other's throats; Harry has been through enough already without the two of us adding unnecessary stress. I know how Harry feels about you, and I would not want to come in between the two of you. It will take some time, but I will be able to remain civil around you, Black… for Harry's sake." There, that had been good enough; Harry would approve.

Sirius nodded. He hated to admit it, but Snape had a point. "Same here, for Harry I will be civil around you. Look, Snape, I didn't come out here to argue, I came to try and talk you in to returning to the meeting. I also wanted to thank you for helping Harry through my supposed death; he told me it was you who took him to see me. I am being sincere when I say thank you." And that wasn't at all a lie.

Severus could tell that Sirius was being serious, and it made him stop mid-thought. Another veiled insult had been seconds away. "If you had seen Harry the day you _died_, you would be haunted; I am, Black. He was broken. When Albus mentioned that Harry had requested to see you, I volunteered to take him. I never had the opportunity to say goodbye to my parents and I was damned if Harry would have to face the same fate."

Of everything that Severus said, what struck Sirius the most was the reference to him as Harry's parent. He knew that Snape probably hadn't meant it like that, but Siris did feel as if he were a parent to Harry and he hated the fact that he had put Harry through such trauma.

Why had his godson been given such a rotten lot in life? Sirius laughed out loud, and there wasn't anything at all funny about it. Harry's lot in life wasn't that different from his or Snape's – they'd all had bloody awful childhoods and had had a rotten life for the most part. Perhaps it was time to start anew: didn't he deserve that? Didn't Harry? Did Snape? Sirius grudgingly thought he probably did. "Harry loves you, Snape; I don't know why, and I can't understand it, but he is happier than I've ever seen him, and if you're the person he loves, then I have to accept it. I don't think you and I will ever get past our differences, but for Harry, we should try. We have both judged each other harshly; your reasoning did have some evidence backing it up, but mine didn't. I wanted to hurt you, Snape; I wanted you to feel the pain I experienced. I now realise how misguided my feelings were. I won't tell you I regret what happened in our past; it's the past, and all we should worry about is what is happening now."

Severus smirked but then nodded, trying to be civil. Was Black serious? But Severus knew he was, and he also knew that this was all for Harry. "This understanding we are attempting to forge, Black, what exactly do you have in mind?" Severus held his sneer in place. Sirius's little speech had impressed him, but he would be damned if the mutt would ever know that.

"When we are around each other, in Harry's presence, Snape, I think we should remain cordial – how we act otherwise is our business. Harry can expect us to remain civil in his presence, but he surely cannot expect miracles. He knows me too well for that."

Severus nodded. It seemed fair enough, and he was impressed. Black knew his limitations. And so did Severus; he knew what and who he was, and he knew that some things were impossible. But perhaps over time, he could change. Life was full of changes. All Severus had to do in order to remind himself of that was think about what had happened an hour earlier, when he had swallowed Harry's tangy ejaculate. If that could happen…

He offered his right hand to his former nemesis, who was now his… half-brother? No, that seemed wrong, and wasn't anything Severus wanted to contemplate. He could shake hands and contemplate that perhaps one day he could be civil to Sirius, but that was about all he could be asked to do at the moment. Anything more was absolutely not possible.

After shaking on the agreement, the two men walked back to the Headmaster's office.

As Severus and Sirius entered, Dumbledore glanced over to Harry, who was staring at the two men with his mouth ajar. The Headmaster's eyes were twinkling a little more than usual, which slightly unnerved Harry, as did the sight of Severus and Sirius entering a room together and neither looking as if they'd been in a fight.

Albus nodded to Severus and Sirius, then began. "Now that everyone is present, please be seated and I will inform you as to why I have called you here this afternoon. A matter of great importance has been brought to my attention, one that warrants serious action. Sixteen years ago after Voldemort was banished from his body, when he attacked Harry, Aurors stormed his offices and confiscated any documents they could find. Three Aurors were assigned to decode the documents, all of which were written in Latin.

"All of the files were translated except one; the night before it was to be translated, it disappeared. We now know that Lucius Malfoy was the perpetrator. The file reappeared last year, also Lucius's doing, and the Aurors have translated it. I was Summoned to the Ministry this morning in order to be briefed about the contents.

"The information revealed was a great shock to me and it will be to each of you as well. Whatever you hear in this room must remain in this room. This cannot be discussed with anyone else, and I do not even want you to speak of it; the consequences could be devastating, and will affect all of you.

"I originally intended for only the adults to be present for this, however, you students have a right to know what is going on as well; it is your future that is in jeopardy. Please listen to what I have to say before you ask questions." Albus looked around the room and found eight sets of eyes glued to his: Mr and Mrs Weasley, Ron, Draco, Severus, Harry, Sirius and Lucius.

"As most of you are aware, Voldemort began his rise to power in 1959. His ambition was great and he went to any lengths to procure followers. I have always understood just how powerful Tom Riddle was and knew he was capable of many things, but when I was shown the translation this morning of the file, I found out how much I had underestimated the lengths to which he would go to assure himself followers, as well as an heir. Voldemort never married, but was determined to produce an heir. He began searching for the woman whom he would impregnate, and eventually, he found four. Voldemort theorized that if he had four heirs, he could choose which one would follow him. He also knew that if something happened to one of them, there would be another remaining. Voldemort chose two death eater families to target and two non-Death Eater families. Per the documents, he never intended the children of the non-Death Eaters to be his heirs; he wanted to ensure that he would have, in his words, two minions to do menial tasks for him, and in time, his heirs, as well.

"Being Death Eaters did not make the two women any happier about being used by Voldemort, but as they were bound by the Dark Mark to him, they gave of themselves to their master. Using forethought, Voldemort knew this had to be a secret that no one would ever find out. After bedding the four women, Voldemort performed a spell that would ensure the offspring of these unions would embody features of their mother and her husband. As far as their husbands were concerned, the children born of these unions were theirs, and that is how Voldemort planned it. He would in all probability not have any personal contact with his heirs until they were about to turn seventeen.

"Voldemort made each woman promise their child's allegiance to him, and made them aware of the consequences that would befall them if the child they were raising strayed. They were ordered to use any means necessary to make their child see what path they should take.

"The two women who were not Death Eaters were kidnapped, brought to Voldemort, and raped. Their children were to be taken whenever he deemed it the right time." Albus stopped and looked around. Everyone looked ill, and he couldn't blame them.

Severus felt his stomach turn and thought he was going to be sick, but it wasn't for the reasons Albus probably thought as he looked at him with sadness in his eyes. No, Sirius was furious at Albus for having Draco and Weasley in this meeting. He didn't care about Harry hearing this, but he knew what was about to come out of the Headmaster's mouth, and he didn't want it to be broadcast for everyone to hear.

"Albus, I think we should dismiss the students and you can brief them after we are finished." Severus glared at Albus.

"Severus, the only student who is not directly affected by this is Mr Weasley, but he has as much to lose as both Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy do, and if I am not mistaken, Mr Malfoy is aware of what I am about to tell you. Is this correct, Draco?"

"Yes, sir. My father told me a few weeks ago."

Albus looked at Severus and raised his eyebrows.

"Very well, let them stay." Did he have a choice?

"I know you have already been implored to keep this quiet, but what I am about to tell you could get any or all of you killed. We must not ever fail to be vigilant; there remains a large contingent of Death Eaters that have yet to be located, and as I am about to tell you, they may not be leaderless for long. I have already told this to the heirs, but will say this again for everyone else. When questioned about the actions of this morning, Lucius was asked if Voldemort was dead, and he said no. When asked how he had survived, Lucius Malfoy told us that Voldemort had given Remus Lupin a combination of Polyjuice potion, and another potion to give the appearance and physical make up of himself. It was Remus Lupin who was killed earlier today, not Voldemort. Remus's, as well as Sirius's deaths at the Dursleys' residence, were faked."

That made everyone gasp.

"Voldemort may have gone underground, but you can all be assured he will be watching, especially his heirs. I will dispense with increasing your anxiety and will tell you who they are:

"Lucius Malfoy  
Severus Snape  
Sirius Black  
Remus Lupin."

Ron's mouth fell open as he heard the names being read.

His parents looked solemnly at Sirius and Severus.

Lucius stared ahead looking at nothing.

Draco lowered his head.

Sirius allowed a tear to escape.

Harry looked at his godfather and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Severus tensed and closed his eyes.

Albus remained silent; neither his eyes nor his features held their usual sparkle.

"This was indeed quite a shock when I read the information. Before I continue, I need you, Lucius, to brief everyone about what you told me at the Ministry." Upon hearing a few snorts and groans, the Headmaster lifted his hand to silence the protests. "No matter your personal opinion of Lucius, he has vital information that each of you need to be made aware of. Some of you think I trust too easily; let me assure you, that is far from the truth. I would never purposely bring anyone inside Hogwarts who could possibly pose a threat to my staff and students. I ask for your trust in this matter." Albus nodded to Lucius, who stood up.

The elder Malfoy nodded his head towards Albus then turned to face the others. "Many of you, possibly all of you, do not trust me. I have done nothing to gain your trust, and can only ask you to listen and then decide for yourselves what you believe.

"First, I must tell you that Voldemort has been planning his demise for quite some time. Even after surviving the recent battles, Voldemort sensed his time might be running short. That is when he approached me and told me that I was one of his heirs. He then asked me if I wanted to succeed him, and of course, I said yes. Then he asked if Draco would be attending meetings; he had great plans for the boy.

"I had known for sometime that my son had no desire to join Voldemort, and I had decided it would be his choice. Voldemort made it clear to me that he expected his grandson to join him, and I was given the impression that my becoming Voldemort's heir depended on my son joining.

"I informed Draco of all that had taken place: my being Voldemort's son, and being asked if I wanted to be his heir. He was adamantly against joining Voldemort, and refused anything having to do with him. My loyalty towards Voldemort had cost me my son, and I only then realised it. I had already lost so much in my life: friends, and family; it was time for me to atone for my mistakes. I went to Voldemort and told him Draco would join him on his seventeenth birthday, and that I was honored to be the chosen heir. Thus began my double life. No one knew of course about me, Draco was not even aware of what I was doing until a couple of weeks ago."

"For all we knew, Voldemort would remain in power for years to come, but he had informed me so that I would be ready when the time came for me to assume his responsibilities. It was my hope that something would happen sooner, rather than later. Once I became 'The Dark Lord,' I would begin to disband the Death Eaters. It was a good plan, even if it was mine. What I did not anticipate was Voldemort planning his own death, albeit a fake one.

"I assure you all that I had no knowledge of any of this until this morning. As you know, Draco decided to become a spy as Severus had when he joined. This morning, Draco and I were called. Voldemort informed us that Severus was bringing Potter to him. Draco and I both sensed uneasiness in his voice, which was very unusual for Voldemort. Then he turned to us and said: 'You were right, Lucius, he was the one all along.'" Then he dismissed us. "I knew who he was referring to." Lucius glanced at Severus. "So, he knew Snape was a spy. Draco had his Invisibility Cloak with him, he never attended meetings without it. We left, hid ourselves under the cloak and reentered the house. We heard voices and followed them to the large meeting room on the second floor.

"Both Draco and I had to put our hands over our mouths in order to remain silent and undetected. Remus Lupin was standing at the front of the room, beaten and in chains. Standing in front of him was Voldemort, holding a phial and shoving it into the beaten man's mouth. He yelled at Remus to drink it, and eventually had to force his mouth open before pouring the contents down his throat. Within half a minute, Lupin's body began transforming into Voldemort. Both Draco and I immediately knew what was going on and left to report our findings to the Ministry. When we reached the Apparition point Draco removed the cloak and we were about to Disapparate when we were spotted by one of the other inner-circle members. He did not suspect anything suspicious, but asked us to join him for a drink. One rule of a Death Eater and especially the inner-circle is never refuse the invitation of another unless you are ready to die. It sounds cruel: it is. We couldn't make a move without raising suspicion.

"From what we were seeing, I am guessing Voldemort suspected Potter and Snape were planning something for him, and he had decided to use this opportunity to escape. Even for Voldemort, whom I have always thought quite intelligent, this was a brilliant plan, even if it was a plan used against us. He will always remain one step ahead of us, Albus. We will have to rethink our handling of him." Lucius felt odd saying the Headmaster's name: it was not his right; he had no right to call anyone by their first name… not really. But he would. He would help right some of the wrongs he had created.

After Lucius sat down, the room was deathly silent and eyes could be seen darting around and resting on different individuals. Severus broke the lengthy silence. "Lucius is correct, we must rethink our tactics. For now, the Dark Lord has disappeared, and for how long, we have no idea, but I will tell you one thing: we must never omit any possibility when it comes to Voldemort – he has evaded us for far too long."

Albus cleared his throat and looked around the room grimly. "Severus is correct. Now that Voldemort seems to again be in hiding, we need to organize a detailed plan of action. I am aware that the Aurors are rounding up Death Eaters as we speak. I doubt any of them have any pertinent information regarding the whereabouts of Voldemort, but they could have information regarding his heirs. I would bet all of the sherbert lemons in my desk drawer, that before he left, Voldemort left a few instructions, and more than likely, to a lower ranking Death Eater, someone no one would suspect. It is my guess that you three are probably being followed. Voldemort has lost all of his heirs to the good side, and he will not allow you to survive. I cannot make you stay at Hogwarts, nor can I keep you safe. Constant vigilance is all I can request of you.

"Now, as to why you students are here, I will tell you. Now that Voldemort has disappeared, this situation may no longer be in effect, but according to documents discovered while translating the earlier documents, Voldemort was about to begin recruiting students, and not only Slytherins. This was before Draco joined, but along with his name, there were four others:

"Hermione Granger  
Neville Longbottom  
Harry Potter  
Draco Malfoy  
Ron Weasley

"Mr Longbottom and Miss Granger are not here per my request.

"Some of you might have noticed a pattern emerging between Voldemort's heirs and these students he chose to recruit. Not all, but the parents of some of them were killed or attacked and left all but dead. Among the heirs, only Lucius's parents remain alive, and among the students, only Draco, and Ron's parents remain alive. We are currently trying to find a common denominator for why this has occurred. It is not coincidence, however; Voldemort sends messages to his followers, and expects them to be heeded. Everyone fits this theory, except young Mr Weasley.

Ron felt everyone's eyes travel to him and it made him uncomfortable. He had enjoyed being on the periphery of fame, through Harry, but having so many eyes on him was disconcerting and Ron didn't like it one bit.

"I would ask both of you, Arthur and Molly, to be cautious," continued Albus. "I do not wish to alarm you, but would be remiss if I did not. Mr Weasley, you will be back at school shortly, and will be safe within the walls of Hogwarts." Albus then looked around at each of the others. "I ask that each of you watch your step and report any strange happenings. Each of you has something Voldemort wants; his heirs have his blood, and the students, his future. Until he is found, we cannot know what he is planning. If I find out any new information, you will be notified immediately. There is not much any of us can do besides remaining alert at all times. If any of you have any questions please feel free to call on me at any time; my Floo is always open. Unless any of you need to talk to me, I believe that will be all for today. Severus, and Harry, please remain."

As no one had any questions, everyone left the room, leaving Albus, Severus and Harry. As Lucius was passing Harry on his way out, Harry caught the older man's eye and the two stared each other down for a few seconds before Albus cleared his throat, causing Lucius to make his exit, and Harry to visibly tense.

Albus didn't miss the exchange and it upset him. Lucius seemed to be trying to help them, but he didn't seem to be trying to get along with Harry at all. It would never do. "I will not allow him to work with you, Harry; in fact, I am forbidding the two of you to have any contact with one another. Lucius will help us, but on our terms."

As much as Harry wished that could be how things worked out, he knew they wouldn't. "Thank you, Albus, but I need to talk to Lucius. He is holding me responsible for events that I had no control over and I refuse to allow him to continue this. I don't look forward to being in the same room with him again but as I have decided to stop allowing others to rule my life, I will confront him and make him explain his motives. I refuse to be bullied around by some snooty aristocratic wizard who thinks that he is the only one whose life has been less than perfect." Seeing Severus tense suddenly, Harry added quickly, "Don't worry, Severus, you will be coming with me, otherwise you would bind me to prevent me from going." Harry smirked. "What? I may still be a student, but I'm not mad. You would never let me do this alone." Perhaps he was mad – this certainly had the potential to turn out very badly. But what he'd said was true: he was so tired of being blamed for that which he had no control over.

This was amusing to the Headmaster: watching Severus and Harry communicate – he would give anything to know how the two got on in private. Despite what everyone thought, he did not know everything that went on within the walls of Hogwarts. "I am proud of you, Harry for your mature handling of this situation. The reason I asked the two of you to remain behind involves finding Voldemort. Severus's Dark Mark is gone, but Harry, your scar remains. I am curious if your scar could still be connected to Voldemort. I believe it is, and with the two of you, it may be possible to locate him. It is fortunate Voldemort never knew about the benefits of your scar, Harry; it may be what finally brings him down."

"I'll do whatever I have to do, Headmaster." Lifting his hand and touching the scar he had both admired and hated, Harry didn't want to think about trying to find Voldemort – he was tired of being a link. But as he was… a link, that is, he had no choice.

"I know you will, Harry. That would be a small form of justice if you were able to find him because of your scar. He gave you the scar after your parents were killed, and now you could theoretically use that scar to track him down and put an end to his life. I am aware of your hesitance regarding causing death, especially now, and believe me when I say I do not take that lightly, but I believe with all of my heart and soul that you and Severus will be the ones to finally end Voldemort's reign of terror."

After speaking a few more minutes, Severus and Harry excused themselves and headed for the dungeons.

"Severus, I need to talk to Lucius… today."

That is what Severus had been afraid of. "I know. You have never been one to back away from a challenge, and this is no different. As much as I think this is a bad idea, a inane and foolhardy one, we will Floo to Malfoy Manor and then you can have your say. I will tell you now, Harry, if he so much as steps a foot out of line, I will hex him until he begs for me to kill him."

And Harry would expect no less from Severus. He loved that someone loved him enough to say that, even if he hoped it never came to that. "My protector, Severus Snape." Harry smiled and kissed Severus softly as the two entered the sitting room. "While I would enjoy seeing a hexed older Malfoy, I doubt that will be necessary. I think he will be exactly where we want him by the time I finish my little speech."

"This, I can't wait to see. But Harry, he will throw insults at you and your father; he will provoke you until you cannot resist giving in to his way of thinking. He has had years of practice at being a bastard. I just don't want you to underestimate his deviousness."

"Oh I won't, believe me."

"Do you want to go now, or can we wait a few hours?" Severus had an evil smirk on his face.

Harry was more than ready to face Lucius now, but seeing the look in Severus's eyes, Harry reasoned that the confrontation could wait: He had greater needs that warranted immediate attention. He and Severus had had to stop far too soon earlier and it had Harry hungry for something much more nourishing than food. All it took was a slight move towards Severus, and within seconds, his clothes vanished and Severus brought him to the cool, stone floor, which was hard and uncomfortable, but for the two currently rolling around on it, it was as good as the large four-poster with satin sheets and velvet duvet.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Ouch, that hurt, Harry," Severus said as he tried to turn over and relieve his aching back. Harry, looking quite delectable as his cock bobbed up and down, merely grinned, and Severus groaned. Harry was going to be the death of him – this was Severus's new mantra when he seemed to get into situations that were Harry's doing.

He should have known better than to do this – he was almost forty, for Merlin's sake. He was too old to be rolling around on the floor as if he were a teenager – but he'd been too in-the-moment to be rational when presented with a needy Harry, and his cock had spoken for him (if he recalled correctly, cocks did that quite a lot when around others who were attractive).

"Ahhh, poor Severus. You could've carried me to the bed before engaging me in such vigorous activities, but, you didn't, did you? I see your impetuousness has finally shown itself; maybe you have some Gryffindor in you. I was almost put in Slytherin, so it would make sense that my soul mate could have been in Gryffindor." Harry pressed his lips into his Severus's before moving down to the long, pale neck.

Severus thought about making a cheeky reply, but decided against it; he would rather enjoy Harry's attentions. He turned his head to give Harry easier access to his neck, and heard needy whimpers fill the room. He wasn't sure if they were his – he didn't want to believe they could be – but as Harry's mouth was attached to his neck, he guessed they were. It gave him pause, but not enough to make him feel too badly. In fact, he was feeling rather wonderful: Making love to Harry felt so very good, even better than he recalled it from his youth, which was something positive, in an otherwise not at all fun inevitability that was the aging process. Growing old was hell.

All Severus needed to do to know that he was aging was to look into the mirror or look at his hands: Wrinkles pervaded his face and seemed to become more pronounced with each passing day, and his once steady hands were beginning to reflect the many bouts of the Cruciatus. That Harry didn't seem bothered by these things made Severus feel all the more protective of him: A person who could overlook such negatives was someone Severus Snape respected, and the people who he respected would have his loyalty for life; he would do whatever it took to save them.

Harry ground his hips into Severus and brought him out of his musings. Severus let out a grunt and closed his eyes. He was damned.

"I've got you where I want you, _Professor_. Are you ticklish?" Harry had that evil glint in his eye that said he was up to something. Of course, he was.

Severus gave Harry a salacious grin at hearing himself being addressed as Professor "No, I am not, _Mr Potter_," he answered, succinctly, with a matter-of-fact tone to his voice.

"_Professor_, you can't tell me that nowhere on your body are you ticklish. I will make you squirm before the night is over, and that is a promise." Harry ground into Severus's hips again.

"Oh, I have no doubt about that, my young Gryffindor, it just will not be from me being ticklish."

"We'll see." Harry allowed a slight moan to escape as Severus bucked up his hips purposefully to get him to respond.

"My, my, looks like I am the one making you squirm." Severus took advantage of Harry's momentary lack of concentration, and flipped them over.

"Not fair," said Harry, but he was grinning. He didn't seem at all upset.

"And pray tell, _Mr Potter_, when have I ever been fair?" Severus asked as he reached down with a finger and traced Harry's nose.

"But, _Professor—" _Harry's mouth was covered and further words were swallowed as Severus kissed him. Harry gave himself over to Severus completely, enjoying being the object of someone's desire. It hadn't been anything he'd ever expected for himself, and now that he had it, he couldn't get enough. He wanted this to never end, but he knew it would end sooner rather than later. Once classes began, things would have to return as before, Harry, the seventh year student, and Severus, the greasy-git professor. It was a fact that Harry was having difficulty with; how could he be asked to do such a thing? It was like asking a baby to return to its mother's womb. It was unthinkable, but Harry knew that he'd have to do so. He did have one thing to be thankful for, however.

Because of the complications that could arise if the students discovered Harry and Severus's relationship, Albus had decided it would be in Harry's best interest to remain in his current rooms for the upcoming year. Surprisingly, Professor McGonagall had helped Harry and Severus convince the Headmaster that this really was the best way to protect Harry. If anyone could protect the Boy Who Lived, it was Severus, whom just happened to be his soul mate, and lover.

When the kiss finally ended, Severus raised a finger and traced the small pink lips beneath him, still finding it difficult to believe that this was real. Having Harry in his life was certainly more than had asked for, but it was everything he had ever wanted. "There will be no buts about it, _Mr Potter_. It is my turn."

"Yes, sir," Harry said coyly as he reached up and traced Severus's face with both of his hands, beginning at his forehead and circling his face. As he ran his fingers along Severus's angular, rather crooked nose, he couldn't imagine anyone being more perfect for him. What a strange world: How was it possible that he had come to this point in his life that he was being made love to by Severus Snape, someone he had not so long ago, loathed?

Severus lifted himself from Harry, who was looking at him with such love, and sat up. He had never known such trust and love; how could it be that this beautiful young wizard wanted him: the greasy git, snarky bastard, and Voldemort's son?

_Can't think about that now… later._

Severus picked Harry up and carried him to the bedroom, where he gently placed him on his stomach, before retrieving the phial from the bedside table. If he could, he would take his time and enjoy this, but time was not something they had a lot of at the moment – they had a Death Eater to talk to. Severus coated his fingers with the oil and probed Harry's opening before he inserted one, two, and then three fingers. Harry was moaning and pushing himself up to draw the fingers in deeper, and as Severus's fingers became more aggressive, Harry let out a whimper.

"Sev… please… need you in me… so ready."

He had another idea and thought Harry would quite like it, thus he moved himself to the end of the bed and placed himself between Harry's legs, then lowered his head.

**~*~**

"Albus."

"Hello, Lucius."

"I can assume this is not a social call?"

"You assume correctly. I have requested your presence in order to inform you that you are now an official member of the Order of the Phoenix…" _As far as you are concerned, that is_.

"You are keeping information from me, Albus, what is it?" Lucius's thoughts were running rampant. He was worried and knew he needed to listen to what Dumbledore had to say, but he would be damned if he did so easily. Old habits and all…

It was taking all of Albus's control to keep his voice calm. He had never wanted to harm another person, but he was now facing someone whom he wished were dead. Nevertheless, there could be valuable information Lucius could provide, so for that, Albus would tolerate the man. "You are being allowed to assist us, Lucius, only because Harry thinks you would be of help in this situation. He, as well as most all of us, would rather not associate with you. You have gravely disappointed me, not because of whom you associated with and worked for, that goes without saying, but because of your personal prejudices against a young man who has never done anything to incite your fury. What I do not understand is why would you allow yourself to become obsessed with Harry? Lucius, he is not his father. Ah.…ah…let me finish before you begin," Albus said when Lucius opened his mouth. "I vividly recall you and young James; no one suspected, but I knew. The two of you did make a fine couple, Lucius. Unfortunately, the two of you could not have been more different. I understood then, as I still do, why you were drawn to young Mr Potter. He represented everything you wanted out of life. You thought that by being with him, your life would have meaning. I understand your thinking, really, I do, but others didn't. Just as your parents were livid to find out you were involved with a Gryffindor, James's parents were upset at the thought of their son being with a Death Eater. No matter that the two of you were old enough to make decisions on your own, the two of you were still under your parents' rules; the two of you were never going to be allowed to be together."

Lucius opened his mouth to respond, but shut it. He really had no response for the words Dumbledore spoke: they were all true. As a young man, who had been in love, he hadn't seen it, hadn't understood, but now, having a son of his own, he understood all too well what his parents and what James's parents must have thought. It really had been a no-win-situation.

"As parents, Lucius, we try to make the best decisions we can with what information we have. Not always, but most of the time, parents do have their children's best interests at heart. I know for a fact that James had told his parents about you. I also know that they were incensed with his revelation, and forbade him to have anything to do with you. They told James what exactly being a Death Eater entailed, and told him how you would be expected to join the Death Eaters, no matter if you wanted to or not; as all children of Death Eaters are pledged at birth to be a follower of the Dark Lord."

Again, more truths, but Lucius wasn't in the mood to have his past thrown in his face. "…And you are telling me this because…"

Albus gave Lucius a piercing look that said he knew exactly why. "Lucius, do you think if James and you had been allowed to remain together that he would have lived to graduate?" Lucius furrowed his brows with a pained look on his face. "You, of all people, know what is acceptable and what is not among Death Eaters, and an association with a Potter would be one of those unacceptable situations. Had the two of you remained together, I dare say you would have ended up much worse off, for you would have ended up as you are now, except with the added guilt that James's death would have been indirectly caused by your association with him."

Lucius had to stop himself from saying that James's death _had_ been his fault even with them not ending up together. He didn't know that for fact, but he had always suspected that to be the reason why James had been killed. "You are telling me my blame has been misplaced, Albus?"

Albus wanted so very badly to say something mean and hurtful, and he had every right to do so, but that was not his way, and it would get him nowhere with Lucius, so he swallowed what he wished to say for a more diplomatic approach. "That is for you to sort out, Lucius. Possibly, this conversation is twenty years overdue. You have allowed your hatred of a boy, whom you never hated at all if you think about it, to blow out of proportion, so much so that now you are focusing that anger and resentment towards his son. Harry does not deserve this, Lucius. The boy witnessed his mother being murdered by Voldemort, has had to grow up in a loveless home, and now he is revered as the _boy who lived_. For all he has been through, it is quite astounding how well adjusted he is, although he does lack self-esteem.

As loath as he was to admit it, Albus had a point, but Lucius wouldn't ever let on that he felt as such. He sneered. "I have other obligations, Albus; please have your say quickly and let me continue my evening."

Albus ignored that last comment, but he did allow a small grin: Lucius didn't fool him for a moment; he was nervous and looking for an out. Albus would eventually give him one, but there were stipulations to be met before that would happen. "I'm not telling you what to do, Lucius; you are a grown man. I do, however, have a responsibility to ensure the students entrusted to my care are kept safe. I will not allow you to continue this unprovoked obsession with young Mr Potter. It is demeaning and deplorable how you have allowed yourself to sink to this level. I want your word that this stops now, or you will be brought up on charges of sexual assault, and I am most serious. If you keep this up, you will find yourself being kissed, and don't doubt that, Lucius. You may think Tom Riddle is the person you should fear the most, but I'd rethink that if I were you."

Lucius closed his eyes and balled his fists together in his lap, took a deep breath, then nodded his head before opening his eyes. He had no choice and perhaps he didn't want one. It was time he let go. It was just too bad that he hadn't realized that sooner. He had made a right fool of himself to the son of a man whom he had loved. He wasn't one prone to sulking and licking his wounds, but now he thought he should like to do so. But no, he would continue as he had been; he'd just not think about Harry. Yes, that is what he would do. "You have my word, Albus."

The Headmaster surveyed his former student with guarded eyes. There was something in those grey eyes that gave Albus hope, and that was what he was counting on. There had to be some good in the man. "Lucius, I meant every word I said: If you so much as hurt Harry's feelings, you will be in Azkaban before you know what hit you. I have no idea how Harry will react to you working with us, but he seems agreeable to you being included. I suggest for your sake as well as his that you talk to him, and soon because Harry will want to hear what you have to say. He is a very perceptive young man and will no doubt be attuned to your changed behavior; you owe him an explanation; a thorough one, leaving nothing out." Truth be told, Albus didn't want Harry and Lucius to talk; he thought it a bad idea, but he knew Harry and he knew that Harry wouldn't be able to move on if he didn't confront Lucius.

Lucius stood and offered the Headmaster his hand. "If he is agreeable, Albus, we will talk; I will not force the subject, however."

Albus turned to leave, then turned back. "We are all victims of circumstance, Lucius. What divides the victors from the victims is often times a fine line, and all too often we strive for the former and end up being the latter."

Lucius nodded. "Good day, Albus."

"Good day, Lucius."

Lucius returned to his manor by Floo, made his way to his son's room and knocked. "Draco, I need to talk with you." Draco opened his door and stepped outside, looking curious, and a bit surprised. Lucius allowed a smile. For all he had done wrong in his life, and there had been plenty of that, he had Draco to show him that he did do one thing right.

"Hello, father. What did you want to ask me?" Draco had an idea what it was about, and he didn't want to have to lie, but he would if he had to.

"Is Potter popular with the students, Draco? Do they gravitate towards him because he is the _boy who lived_?"

Always about Potter… Draco began to make a snide comment but decided it mightn't be a good idea. His father hadn't ever been one to shy away from a good slap to the face when he felt it warranted, and Draco wasn't at all in the mood for a confrontation. "Not really, no. First year, and even second year, he was a curiosity, I have to admit, but for the most part, the students treat him as they treat everyone else… except for the Slytherins' that is. You can imagine their feelings towards Potter. On the other hand, except for Snape, the teachers seem to treat him differently, as though he needs to be handled carefully; they have got better as the years have progressed, though."

Just as Lucius expected. From what he could remember, James had been adored by the staff almost from the beginning of his first year, and he hadn't even done anything that would have explained the extra attention. James had loved the adoration. Lucius wanted to believe that his brat son was no different, but he had an idea the son was very unlike the father in that respect. "And how does Mr Potter react to all of this attention from everyone?"

This questioning wasn't making Draco feel good about his father; he didn't much like this obsession, and wanted to scream at his father and tell him how wrong it was, and that Harry bloody Potter wasn't all that. "In class, Professor Snape gives Potter a hard time. In the beginning, I thought Professor Snape believed what he said to Potter, but now I realise it was for Potter's benefit and not his detriment that he was treated him as he was, although Professor Snape's words could have been less cruel. I know for a fact that Professor Snape thought Potter had been spoiled – he only wanted to ground him."

There was a difference in his son's voice – something perhaps close to concern for Potter. Not so long ago that would have been cause for the wand to be brought out or for a curse or two to put his son in his place, but times weren't quite what they had been, were they? "You are correct in your assumptions, Draco. Severus was only trying to help Potter; he always tried to help Potter. That is one of the major reasons Severus and I have grown further apart over the last six years. Draco, there is something I need to tell you that will help you understand why I have treated Harry the way I have."

No. Draco didn't need to hear his father tell him he had a thing for a seventeen-year-old. "I know… about you and Harry's father." Draco didn't want to tell his father he knew the rest as well; he knew his father had been through quite enough.

"I thought you might; Severus never was one for secrets between you and me."

"Father, when you told me that Harry had a soul mate, you knew who it was, didn't you?"

"Not at that time, no, but yes, now I am aware of whom it is, although it is only speculation."

"It's Professor Snape, isn't it?"

"You must not say anything, Draco; you remain in a precarious position being in Slytherin with the other children of Death Eaters. If certain of them were to find out about Harry and Severus… it would be bad."

Yes, Draco knew that all too well, and he had no plans on telling anyone what he knew. He opened his mouth to say as much, but was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming urge to hug his father, which wasn't anything he had ever done. Perhaps that was why. Draco didn't know, though. Seventeen years wasn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it was a long time when you had a father who didn't love you and who you didn't respect. "I understand, father. I won't say anything. I only ask because when I met with Professor Snape a few weeks back, his concern for Potter was noticeable," Draco said, as he sighed in relief and tried to cover it up: the moment was over. Draco never wanted to feel like that way again; he didn't want to end up disappointed.

"I doubt you and I will ever be privy to the when, how, and why of it, Draco, but as long as Severus is happy, that is all that matters. I don't care about anything else." Perhaps that wasn't the complete truth, but Lucius was trying to make it seem that way.

"Where does that leave you and Potter?" Draco asked, uncomfortable.

"That is up to him, Draco. All I can do is talk to him and explain myself. I have no expectations; the way I treated him is beyond reproach, and I am sickened now when I think of what I almost did. I'll probably end up in Azkaban for what I've done. I don't wish for that, but I don't see Harry allowing me to remain free after I serve my purpose with the Order. But it is my penance. Draco, hate blackens your heart and makes you believe you are not worth anything. I allowed my rage to surface and it almost cost me what little soul I have left."

**~*~**

"What time is it?" Harry asked as he looked down at Severus, who had lowered his head and was licking Harry's leaking cock. Harry bucked his hips in anticipation and whimpered when that tongue teased him. He could definitely become accustomed to this.

"It's time for supper," _and not only for food_, Severus thought as he kissed the tip of Harry's cock.

Harry moaned as Severus's warm breath breathed on him, then opened his eyes and looked into Severus's eyes. His former professor, someone who would soon resume that title, had just rimmed him and was about to suck him dry… again. Harry grinned. He could get through Severus acting hateful to him in class with images such as this to think back on.

Severus sucked and worked his mouth further around Harry until he could feel the tip of Harry rubbing against his throat. As his ministrations increased, he began to hum as he looked into Harry's eyes.

"_Thank God, Merlin, and everyone else for sending me you."_

Harry began pushing himself further into Severus's mouth while his hips bucked off the bed. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod…" Harry spilled his come into Severus's mouth and watched as every last drop of it was swallowed. Harry then collapsed on his pillow and closed his eyes.

Severus pulled himself up so he could cover Harry with his body, then gave his very angelic-looking lover a deep kiss, returning some of his lover's essence to that luscious mouth.

Once Harry had regained the art of speaking, somewhat, he opened his eyes again and saw that Severus was looking at him, those black eyes not revealing too many emotions, but Harry knew what they hid. "Severus, I think we should wait until tomorrow to go see Lucius." As much as he wanted to get it over with, he was apprehensive, and he wasn't quite sure his body would cooperate with him if he asked it to get out of bed. It was as if Severus had sucked him dry of his energy. Yes, it was merely an excuse to delay the inevitable, but as excuses went, it was a fairly brilliant one.

"Did I tire you that much?" Severus asked, not that concerned. He knew what Harry was doing, and he would allow it. A look told him all he needed to know. "Very well, we shall go see Lucius tomorrow. We should order in tonight; I will call Dobby."

"Mmm, supper in bed…"

Getting out of bed and putting on his dressing gown, Severus leant down and kissed Harry on the nose. "What should we do after we eat?"

"More of what we did before, but first, you and I are going to talk. We need to talk about what you and I found out earlier today… no, let me finish before you start getting all defensive, Severus. I know you, and you are just going to let what Albus told you roll off your back, or at least that is what you want everyone to think. I know better… it hurts, I know, and I won't allow you to keep your feelings to yourself. Remember, Severus, I love you, and as your friend and lover, I want to be there for you… always."

He wasn't getting out of this, and maybe Harry was right. "I know, Harry; it is just so very confusing. Everything I grew up with was a lie. Coming to terms with what I have learned is not something I am sure I can do. Voldemort, I could care less about, even as I carry his blood in my veins. It is my parents whom I am having problems resolving this with. I see my images of them switching in my mind, and it is hard to reconcile how I viewed them with the reality of why they viewed me as they did."

"What you are feeling?" Harry could only hope that Severus trusted him enough to talk to him, but he also knew that if Severus didn't wish to talk about it, he wouldn't. There were just some things that Severus refused to talk about.

What was he feeling? Severus looked at Harry and sat back on the bed beside the recumbent Harry. He was hungry, wanted to eat, wanted to make more love to Harry, and wanted to not talk about this, but he knew that he should get this over with, and he did want to talk to Harry about it – he wanted Harry to know exactly how he felt. He wasn't sure why, but he knew it was important Harry be included in this, every bit of it. There were other things that Harry would never know, but this, Severus could share. "Betrayed and like a fool. I loved my father and would have done anything for him. Everything I am now was shaped by my perceptions of him. He was honest and caring and would not hurt anyone for anything if it was his choice. People remember him as a Death Eater, a murderer; I remember him as my sweet and loving father who, when no one else would, loved me. He made a mistake because he was in love and paid dearly for it with his life; unfortunately, his mistake cost me my mother, two sisters and brother as well."

There was nothing Harry could say, and he didn't want to say anything, afraid Severus wouldn't continue. As sad as this was to hear, Harry needed to know what was going on in Severus's mind, and maybe he could help him – probably not, but he wanted to try. He nodded his head for Severus to continue.

"I never did understand his sudden withdrawal from me; the more I tried to please him, the further he would retreat. Now, of course it is very clear why he acted as he did. Finding out that not only was he not my real father, but that Voldemort was, must have been a real shock to my father's system. When I was his, he was free to dote on me and smother me with love, but once that was not the reality, he withdrew and took away what little love I had. How could he have done that, Harry? How can you love someone so much that you are willing to stand up to your domineering wife and defend your son, knowing you will be ridiculed for it, then turn around and act as if all of that was not the case? He abandoned me and left me all alone. I can never forgive him for doing that. He had no right. It wasn't my fault that he wasn't my biological father."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Severus woke up wrapped in Harry's arms; he had slept well and felt safe. Glancing at Harry, who looked uncomfortable, Severus had a feeling the Gryffindor's night hadn't been as restful. He carefully extricated himself from Harry's embrace and placed him under the covers. After placing a soft kiss on the scar that defined Harry for most of the world, Severus forced himself out of bed and into the shower.

When he finished his shower and dressed, he ordered breakfast, then went to the fireplace. "Lucius Malfoy: Malfoy Manor."

"Hello, Severus. What brings you calling so early?"

"We need to talk."

"I am not busy this morning if you want to talk now. I am assuming this has to do with Potter?"

"Yes, it does. I will be there in fifteen minutes." Severus wasn't sure if he should be doing this. He didn't want Harry to be upset with him for going behind his back and talking to Lucius, but he needed to talk to Lucius before Harry. While he trusted that Lucius was being genuine about working against Voldemort, he didn't fully trust the man when he said his treatment of Harry was going to change. This meeting was risky, but Severus felt it was necessary.

After Severus ate, he put a warming charm on the remaining food, wrote a note telling Harry not to worry, and flooed to Malfoy Manor, where he found Lucius waiting for him.

"Lucius."

"Severus. Let us sit and talk." As if he had a choice. He Summoned a house-elf and had her serve them tea while he motioned for Severus to begin.

The house-elf gone, Severus decided he had delayed this long enough. "You know why I am here, Lucius. You and I both know that Voldemort is waiting for conditions to be right for him to strike Hogwarts; he wants Harry. I think we both know he has his eyes on Harry for his heir and will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. But before he can take Harry, he has three other heirs to take care of and there is still the information regarding the other students. We have no idea what he is planning for them. I have no doubt that you, Sirius, and I, are walking targets, and I have a feeling you are in the most danger, at least for the present. You were the chosen one, the heir Voldemort had cultivated with meticulous care. We don't even know if he is aware of your changing loyalties, although we can assume he has found out. I do believe your intentions are honest now, but many others will not. You no doubt understand that you will be targeted from both sides."

"You state the obvious, Snape. Why, may I ask, are you telling me this which I already know?"

"Must there be a reason, Malfoy? I just wanted to make sure you were aware that Harry is not the immediate threat for Voldemort, you are. While I trust you to a certain extent, I am no fool. Let's just say that I am protecting that which is important to me."

"My dear, Severus, you are beginning to talk in circles like Dumbledore. If you have something to say then spit it out. Otherwise, leave me alone."

It would have been Severus's pleasure to leave the sneering man alone, but he had a young lover in his bed that he was going to protect, and if talking to Lucius would do that, he would continue this conversation. "I am most assuredly the only one with any faith in you, Lucius, and I have somehow managed to convince the Order to give you a chance. They are all watching you closely and if they think you are getting too comfortable around Harry, you will be out of the Order, no questions asked. I have no doubt that Voldemort would go to any lengths to reinstate you to his side, but of course, in the end you would end up dead. Just take this as a friendly reminder to watch your step. You surely have no friends on this side, but you do have a life, and that is more than you would have if you decided to switch your loyalties again. Your cooperation with the Order will gain you protection from the most unlikely of sources. I assure you, your honesty will be rewarded, but your betrayal will be punishable, and I do not need to tell you what that would mean."

Lucius was annoyed. He knew Severus was talking about Harry, he knew Severus and Harry were soul mates, and he knew Severus was threatening him. Lucius had given his word, and was not appreciating the fact that it was being doubted.

"Severus, whether you believe me or not, I am sincere in my wish to get rid of Voldemort. Let me not speak in riddles, however. I know about you and Harry; or should I say, I am confident about what I have found out. If I comply with the Order, and help, then you and Harry will protect me. Why Harry would want to protect me is beyond me, and why would you want to protect me… Yes, you and I were once very close, as close as two people can be, but that time has long since gone."

Severus stood and paced the perimeter of the room for a minute or so, but then returned to his previous position on the sofa by the fireplace. He looked around the room: The last time he had been here had been for a meeting shortly before the Dark Lord had been rendered helpless and almost dead by Harry. A sigh brought him out of his musings and he returned his focus to Lucius. "Lucius, You know Voldemort better than anyone else, and we need all the help we can get. Harry will do what he must in order for us to accomplish what we must. For all the weight that he carries around on his shoulders, he is a remarkably sensible young man. Do I think he wants to protect you? No, probably not. He does not understand how you could hold him accountable for his father's actions, and because of your actions in The Riddle House, he fears you. He will, however, do whatever needs to be done to ensure your safety while you are helping us. He has assured me of that. I hate that he has had to do so, but the end will justify the means, I am quite certain. You will need to thank Harry at some point, Lucius. If it weren't for him you'd have already been killed, by my hands."

Lucius, who had remained silent thus far, merely nodded. He understood, and he knew how fortunate he was. Severus was not someone to cross, and almost raping his soul mate… well, Lucius wasn't completely sure he was safe at this very moment.

As slippery as you are, Lucius, I have always been of the opinion that you still had some goodness left in you, and given the right circumstances, you would change your loyalties. I may have not used proper judgment regarding you and me, but regarding your loyalties, my observations seem to have been quite accurate."

Not willing to agree with Severus's assessment or to think about the brief affair that the two had had, Lucius changed the subject. "Does Harry still wish to speak to me? Dumbledore said he probably would."

Severus stood and walked to the fireplace where there was an older picture of Draco and his mother sitting in their garden. That little boy looked sad, and Severus wondered, not for the first time, why people such as Lucius Malfoy were allowed to have children. Severus looked back at Lucius and shook his head. "I think Harry would rather be put under the Cruciatus again before speaking to you, if you want to know the truth, Lucius. However, he does need to talk to you because he cannot keep his feelings bottled up as you and me have done. He wants to know why you have treated him as you have, but he does not look forward to being in the same room with you. I agreed to let him see you only if I were present. That is non-negotiable, Lucius."

All Lucius could do was stare in disbelief: If it were Draco in the position that Harry was now in, and had Severus done what Lucius had, there was no way in hell that Lucius would allow Draco to face Severus. Either Severus was far more stupid than Lucius had thought, or Harry was just that persuasive. Lucius knew which of the two to be the correct one. "You are already aware of most of what I will tell the boy, so it makes me no difference whether you are here or not, Severus. I am wondering if I should even bother talking to him. It will matter little to anyone how remorseful I may be regarding my treatment of him, or anyone else for that matter because I will never be forgiven my association with Voldemort."

Severus wanted to laugh, but he dared not. "And do you think I have been forgiven, Lucius? I have been a spy since the beginning of my servitude under the Dark Lord, and still, I am frowned upon by most people. If you are concerned about your well-being and are doing this for acceptance, then I suggest you forget it because it will not happen. If you are indeed with us, Lucius, I do see you perhaps gaining the respect of those who matter. You will find that when you give of yourself, you receive so much more than you thought possible in return. Give Harry some credit, Lucius."

Lucius knew Snape almost as well as he knew himself, and did not miss the sparkle that had briefly shone in his former friend's eyes. Lucius knew the look, it was the look he had last seen when he and James were together. "I see it in your eyes, Severus, and I must say I am happy for you. For what it is worth, you have my word, and everything else, that my intentions are for the good, and I will do whatever it takes to help the Order. I do not think it achievable to say that Harry will ever want to talk to me after this is all over, but I do hope he will realise by my current actions how much I regret my past actions."

Was it the truth? Severus wanted to believe so, but actions spoke louder than words, so only time would tell. "That will be entirely up to him, Lucius. I have a question for you, did, or does Voldemort know about Harry and me?"

"No, not to my knowledge. He knew Harry had a soul mate, but never mentioned your name. I only guessed it was you through the process of elimination, and because there has always been that something there between the two of you, albeit in a warped way. It is not surprising that the two of you were destined to be together. You complement one another."

Severus nodded his head and gave Lucius the briefest glimpse of a smile.

Lucius felt like their conversation was over, but Severus kept opening his mouth before quickly shutting it. "I get the feeling you have something else you wish to talk about. What else is on your mind?"

"Your perceptiveness is as sharp as always. Yes, I have to ask you two questions. I do not wish to elaborate on them; I only need a yes or no."

Lucius looked pensive. "I will answer if I am able."

"Were you present when the Dursleys were killed, and were you present when Miss Granger's parents were killed?"

"Yes to both. It is..."

"As I stated... no elaboration is required until a later date."

"But..."

"I haven't the time, Lucius. I was asked to find out if you were there, nothing more." Severus had been asked to open the most recent memories of Lucius's time with Voldemort. Albus had no intention of pressing charges against Lucius before Voldemort was taken care of, but he did intend on making him squirm. Having him recall these atrocities would also serve to cause him to realise what he had taken away from others. Severus wanted Lucius to face Harry knowing what had been taken from him. "I must be going. Harry and I will be returning this afternoon unless you have a prior engagement."

"I am being confined to the Manor, so yes I will be here."

"Very well. Expect us at two. Just a final word of advice, Lucius, if you ever hurt Harry, I will kill you myself."

Lucius only nodded his head as he watched Severus throw the Floo powder in the fireplace and disappear. Severus had given him quite a lot to think about, much more than Lucius wanted, but what made Lucius more upset than anything was the fact that he had held this hatred for Harry all these years without any provocation.

Being a Death Eater, Lucius was more than accustomed to engaging in illegal activities, and never questioned the motives of himself, or his master: There was always an objective, a goal that was being sought, and to that end, Lucius justified his actions. He had no emotional connection to the people affected by his actions, and as long as he could keep his mind in this hazy state of denial, he could do anything. The problem was, his mind was no longer in the hazy state, and he was having a difficult time digesting the enormity of his past actions. It was almost too much to think about. He had hurt so many people and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. But at least he did realise that what he had done was wrong. Little good it did, but he knew it was something.

If it had not been for Voldemort's sudden interest in his son, Lucius would more than likely have remained the cold, emotionless person he had been for most of his life. L

ucius's servitude under his master was one thing, but his son's was another matter.

Lucius had been raised in an unhappy environment, and when Draco was born, Lucius vowed that his son would never feel unloved or unwanted. Unfortunately, for both father and son, Lucius chose to leave Draco's rearing to his wife and the house-elves. Lucius loved his son, but had been unable to show his son love because he himself had never felt love, thus he didn't know how to give it. Because of this, Lucius had always treated his son formally.

Then Voldemort had shown interest in his son, and that had served as Lucius's wake up call. It hadn't been an easy decision, but after talking to his son, the elder Malfoy had realised that he was on the verge of losing Draco forever, and that was not an option for Lucius. He decided to do whatever he could to repair his and Draco's relationship, and he began spying against Voldemort, not officially, but he did whatever he could to help defeat his former master.

His and Draco's relationship had indeed become much more stable, but even as that part of Lucius's life was improving, he had continued to carry around this hatred for his former lover and his former lover's son. It made no sense, even to Lucius, but he'd not cared, and had allowed his anger to consume him.

Forcing these morbid and sad thoughts away, Lucius returned his thoughts to his meeting in a few hours with Severus and Harry. As much as he didn't want it to happen, he was pleased that Severus would be present. He wanted someone else to witness his talk to the young Potter. If it took him forever, Lucius wanted to gain the respect of his once best friend. They had both been through so much together, and Lucius wanted Severus back in his life.

**~*~**

Severus stepped out of the fireplace to see Harry eating and doing homework.

Harry looked up and smiled. "Thought I would finish my last bit of homework so I would have the rest of the week off before lessons begin."

"Is it mine?"

"Yeah. I just spent the last two hours writing a three-foot essay on the differences between unicorn and bicorn hair. I already finished the other three you assigned us. It really isn't fair, you know? It is summer hols; we should be having fun, not doing homework." Harry stuck out his tongue at Severus.

Severus leant down and kissed Harry. "If you were not required to use your acquired knowledge over the summer, do you think you would be as sharp after two months of not using that brain of yours?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... well, any way, it's done now, so I'm all yours."

"I am truly touched." Severus bent down again as Harry met him for a longer kiss. When he pulled away, he licked his lips, tasting the bacon and sausage Harry had been eating. "I was talking to Lucius just now." Severus joined Harry on the floor and began skimming over the essay Harry had completed.

"What about?"

"I wanted to make sure he was being truthful about his intentions. You being asked to work with him is no small favor; I only wanted to ensure your safety."

"I trust you, Severus, and if you think he is being truthful, then I believe you."

"I told him we would be there at two, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks for caring so much. It should bother me that you talked to Lucius about me, but he's someone I can't trust, and I need you to help me get through this."

Severus finished reading the first paragraph of the essay, then set it on the floor beside Harry and stood, and motioned for Harry to do the same. "I do not intend on leaving you, Harry, _ever_. You did come up in the conversation, but mostly I wanted him to understand how dangerous his role is now; he is risking much by joining us, but if he turned back, he would face certain death. I only wanted to heighten his sense of awareness that he is in a precarious position that could falter at any moment. I assured him of his being protected while on our side." Severus briefly scowled and looked at Harry. "By the way, Lucius knows about us; he knows it will be you and me protecting him. I think he will have a difficult time accepting anything from you, protection included."

**~*~**

_"Is everyone clear as to their duties? There can be no mistakes. Bring the boy back to me, then we will see the real entertainment beginning. I do not take kindly to traitorous former Death Eaters. I want the boy alive, but whatever you must do to get him here to me, that is up to you. If you fail to bring him to me, then you should not return because I will personally castrate each of you then watch as your skin is slowly stripped from your bodies. Torture is such a wonderful weapon, and bargaining tool; there is no more beautiful sight than to see someone being slowly bled to death for a wrong they have committed. What a wonderful thing power is. I expect you back promptly after completing your mission. Do not delay; I will find out, I always do. Off with you now."_

**~*~**

"Malfoy Manor: Lucius Malfoy."

"With a pop, Harry and Severus appeared in Lucius Malfoy's sitting room. It was massive; the only room larger than this that Harry had ever seen was in Hogwarts. The room was decorated in dark colors, and had several chairs and sofas for guests.

Lucius gave Severus a slight nod, but when he looked at Harry, he froze. _I can't do this. Of all the things wrong in my life, this has to be near the top. I can't believe he is standing in the same room as me. _

"Mr Potter." Lucius forced himself to speak and give his guest a slight nod.

Harry didn't move for a few seconds, then he turned his head and looked at Severus, his eyes begging for some comfort. Severus motioned for Harry to move closer, then took the shaking hands in his and gave them a squeeze.

_"It is going to be fine, Harry. I am not going anywhere. I know you do not want to be here; neither do I, but we both know you can't keep all these feelings inside of you. I am aware of much of what you want to say, so if you need any help, all you need to do is ask, Harry. I am not going to make you say or do anything that you are uncomfortable with. Remember, I love you."_

Harry gave Severus a weak but heart-felt smile.

_"I love you. too, Sev."_

A house-elf appeared with tea and biscuits then left the three men to their business. The atmosphere in the room was thick with tension as the three looked pensively at one another. Harry looked over at Severus, who nodded his head.

Harry cleared his throat and hoped that he would be strong enough to get through what he had to say. Sitting only feet away from Lucius had caused Harry's heart rate to increase. He knew Severus was sitting beside him and wouldn't allow anything to happen, but still, he felt uneasy.

"Mr Malfoy, I do not wish to be here anymore than you wish me to be here, but I came here to find the answers that you have for me, but now that I'm here, I think this wasn't a good idea. I feel sick being in the same room with you and if it weren't important that we talk, I'd run out of here as quickly as I could. It is important, however, so I'll make myself stay. I will never understand why you have treated me as you have, but I do need to know why. I am aware of some basic facts, but I need to know more. I need to know what I have done to you for me to be the recipient of such hate. You, Professor Snape, Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Neville, your son and me, are all in danger, and I'll do anything to ensure all of our safety. In order to do that, we must work together, and can't do that with this animosity between us. I have been expected to defeat Voldemort my entire life and whether I want the burden or not, it's mine. Not even you deserve what Voldemort would do to you if he got his hands on you."

Lucius and Harry's eyes were locked onto one another. The elder Malfoy had been prepared for accusations to be thrown, and he had been ready to be on the receiving end of yelling and name-calling. What he was listening to, however, surprised him. The Potter boy was relatively calm and seemed in perfect control of his emotions. Lucius knew if he were in the boy's place, his reaction would be much more volatile. Lucius glanced at Severus and raised his eyebrows as if questioning the young man's words.

"Harry does not speak untruths, Lucius; you would be wise to follow his lead. You may not believe his words, but I assure you they are the truth."

Lucius returned his gaze to Harry. _Well, here goes everything. _

"To give you exactly what you are requesting, Mr Potter, I must begin at the beginning. This will take awhile, but I do think you want and need to hear this." Harry nodded, but didn't look at all happy. Lucius knew he couldn't understand how Harry felt, but he guessed that Harry felt quite ill. "I know you are aware of your father and my being in a relationship, so please excuse me if I sound rather blunt when discussing him and me. Perhaps I should not be telling you any of this, but it is the only way to let you know what I was and have been thinking, no matter how wrong it may have been." Harry again nodded. "I met your father on The Hogwarts Express when we were entering our first year. It was a brief yet memorable meeting, and we forged a friendship that day that would last. Unfortunately, being sorted into the houses with the two fiercest rivalries, our friendship was not allowed to grow. We occasionally conversed, but nothing more for four and a half years.

"Halfway through our fifth year, James and I began secretly seeing one another. I initiated the relationship, but James was as involved as me. It did not take long for our relationship to turn physical, and once we had become involved sexually, I knew I had fallen in love with your father, and he with me. He truly did love me, and did not care about my family's involvement with the Dark Lord. He was interested in me, and that was all that mattered.

"We saw each other as often as we could and took advantage of every minute spent with each other. Unfortunately, someone began spreading rumors about us being together which we both emphatically denied. Both of us knew we had to deny any involvement with each other, but it hurt each of us when hearing the other denying what was going on. Your godfather, Sirius Black, thought that my friends and I had created the rumor to keep James from becoming a Prefect for the following year. He, Remus, Peter, and James began playing nasty pranks on me and my friends, which included Severus." Lucius glanced at Severus, whose expression remained unchanged – his eyes were focused on Harry with a worried look in his eyes. Lucius remembered what it was like to have someone look at him that way and he longed for that again. Who would have ever guessed that he would be jealous of Harry and Severus?

"Even as James and my world seemed to be coming apart, we continued seeing each other. I had already become a master disguise artist for my parents, so fooling the school was not hard. James and I continued to grow closer. This lasted until the end of our sixth year, when both our parents found out about us. To say they were livid would be a gross understatement. My parents took me immediately to Voldemort, where I was marked, despite the fact that my birthday was two months away. I had been the perfect son and had accepted my duties as a Malfoy. Now I had disappointed my parents and they reacted the only way they knew how; they ensured my future loyalties would not be questioned. They knew I would never risk James's life, therefore, their solution to our being together, was to separate us forever.

"When I was with your father, Harry, everything was wonderful. James was popular, attractive, well-adjusted, and had the most amazing family you could imagine. I wish you could have known your grandparents, Harry; James spoke of them in such a loving manner and I could hear the love your father had for them in his voice."

Harry wiped a tear from his eye before it could fall.

"Your father was the answer to my prayers, and I owe any good that resides in me to him. I loved and still do love him more than I love myself. Then I was marked and Voldemort made sure your grandparents found out about us. They had already known that James and I were close, and they had told James to cease his friendship with me because it could only end badly. They had nothing against me personally, but they knew my eventual place would be beside the Dark Lord. They forbade your father to see me again, and told James he would only end up getting hurt by me."

Not wanting to listen to any more of what Lucius had to say, Harry began to stand, but stopped when Severus squeezed his hand and gave him a small encouraging smile. It helped, and Harry again turned his attention to Lucius, and nodded, willing him to continue.

"Your father need not have tried to end things with me, Harry, because I would have done it myself. There was no way I was dragging him into my messed up life. James, however was the one to end our relationship. He gave me no reason, only said it was not working out. From that moment, I began resenting your father. I blamed him and told him I hated him, yet we still managed to end up shagging in a side room, in a closet, or anywhere else we could find some privacy. For some reason, neither of us could give each other up. Even with the shagging, our relationship had already suffered an irreversible blow. It was no longer a loving relationship – we used each other to relieve our needs, and were brutal in our moments together.

"Both of our spirits seemed to have been broken because we both had responsibilities to our families that would not allow for a Death Eater in training, and a purely good prominent wizard, to be involved. I never stopped loving your father, Harry, and I think he still loved me.

"In the middle of seventh year, your father began dating your mother, and everyone, including me, could tell they were in love with each other. Lily was pure and innocent, everything I could never be. I was happy for your father, but of course, I never let him know. Our relationship deteriorated quickly and I became increasingly enraged with him. All the while, in the back of my mind, I thought there was still a possibility that we might still end up together. I never gave up hope, even after leaving Hogwarts. Then your parents were married, and then you came along. I finally realised James and I were finished, and the finality hit me hard.

"Then a year later, your parents were killed. When I found out, Severus was with me and had to restrain me; I was hysterical and wanted to die." Lucius allowed his eyes to travel to Severus and then back to Harry, who was becoming uneasy.

Harry had had enough. He didn't want to hear anymore, especially about that night. "I know what happened next Mr Malfoy, you don't need to speak of it."

"Of course, you survived the killing curse; the prevailing thought was that Voldemort was after you, so I blamed you for your parents' deaths. Between then and your second year at Hogwarts, I did not think of you or James very often, but then I saw you, and except for those eyes, I was staring at James. It all came back to me: the hurt, the grief, the love – always the love. Something in me snapped when I was looking at you that day. You were reaping the rewards of being the boy who lived while your father was dead because of you. Since that day, my anger has been seething. While my obligations to Voldemort began troubling me, thoughts of making you pay for the misery your father and you had caused me only increased. Of course, now I will be the first to say how ridiculous and warped my ideas were, but then it seemed only logical to react towards you as I did. At first, I only wanted to make you suffer, but then I thought about breaking you so your spirit would be just as dead as your father's. I decided if I were to rape you, I would be taking away your innocence, and in the process, regaining my power. I have nothing to justify my actions and apologise for everything, Harry. I do not ask your forgiveness because I do not deserve it. I would hope, however, that eventually, you might be able to accept my word that from this moment forward, I will not intrude on your life in any way other than Order business. I have caused you enough grief." Lucius finished speaking and sat back, tired and feeling desolate – it had taken a lot out of him to relive his old memories of James. Now Lucius's mind was filled with images of him and James; Lucius never wanted to let go of those memories, not really, but at the moment, he wanted them to leave and never come back. The pain was too deep for him to face.

Harry could see that the talk had cost Lucius a lot, and it gave him no satisfaction… okay, perhaps a little, but not much. Had Harry heard all of what Lucius had said to him, for the first time, he wouldn't have been able to control his temper, and the situation might have got out of hand. Fortunately, he had already heard much of what he had been told. He sat forward and cleared his throat, while turning his head, looking to Severus for reassurance. He found the comfort he was searching for in the eyes that met his gaze, then slowly turned his head to face Lucius again.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I'm sure I'll never understand your motivations, but listening to all that you've said has helped me. I am finding it somewhat humorous that I am finding out more about my father from you, someone who has chosen to loathe me, than I have from some of his closest friends. As you have said, I owe you nothing. I do, however owe it to myself to talk about what happened and why it affected me so badly." Harry looked at Severus with a worried look on his face. He was about to tell Lucius something that he had not told Severus, and he had never planned to tell him or anyone else. After thinking about it, however, Harry knew he needed to talk about it, and Lucius was the perfect person to reveal this to. Of course, Severus being in the room helped.

"Mr Malfoy, you have explained why you felt such resentment towards me, but I don't think you've adequately explained why you thought it necessary to attempt raping me. It just doesn't add up; I know you are a smart man, and this just doesn't seem something you would do. While I have never thought highly of you, I would have never thought you capable of such a heinous crime. Fortunately, for both you and me, you were unsuccessful. I could have taken any other form of abuse: you could have beat me, cut me, or anything else, and I wouldn't have reacted as I did when you tried to rape me, Mr Malfoy. You are not the first man to force themselves on me. My uncle and cousin managed to break me in quite violently at a young age. I have never been penetrated, but there are other ways to be sexually assaulted and I have been exposed to them all. I have no idea why my uncle and cousin never went further – probably thought they would catch my freakishness as they called it. That didn't stop them from making me do unspeakable things to them, however; they were never satisfied and used me as their personal whore. Have you ever been part of a threesome, Mr Malfoy? Well, I have, and must tell you it is not a pleasant experience when you are being sandwiched by two men who weigh almost three times as much as you do. They took away any sense of confidence I had in myself. Do you know when I was assaulted last? It was an hour before I left to come to Hogwarts last September. Oh yes, they knew I would be gone for ten months, so they had to get in as much of me as they possibly could. Dudley even tried to enter me, but his father yanked him off me at the last minute, saying it was reserved for him, and it would wait until next summer. He said it would give me something to look forward to.

"When I found out there was a possibility I might be staying at Hogwarts this summer to ensure my safety from Voldemort, I knew it was also saving my life. Finally, I would be away from the endless nights of terror by those two monsters. Then you had to come and try to mimic them. I wanted to die because I knew what you would do. And I knew you would not stop yourself; you would enter me and take away my last vestige of innocence, take away something I had been saving my entire life for the person I intended on spending the rest of my life with. Then when it didn't happen, I was so confused. But you tried it, and that is what I can't forget. No one deserves that kind of treatment from anyone."

Harry had remained as stoic as he could, but he couldn't keep the tears at bay any longer. As they coursed down his face, he put his head in his hands and broke down.

Severus sat there, almost unable to move.

_  
"Oh Harry, why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I didn't want anyone to know, but then I decided I wanted Lucius to know how much he'd hurt me. Please don't be mad at me for not telling you."_

_"Harry, I am not mad at you, not even upset, but I wish you would have shared this with me. This is your life we're talking about. It is your decision what you tell people and when. I love you, and will be here for you no matter what happens, Harry."_

_"Thanks, Sev."_

Lucius began to speak again after a few seconds. "There is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better. I deserve whatever punishment I may receive, Harry. I feel horrible about what I wanted to do to you. For what it is worth, I am sorry."

Harry wiped his eyes on his sleeve before continuing. "Mr Malfoy, I do believe you're being sincere and that you truly are sorry. I don't think things will ever be okay between us, but we need to be able to work together. To that end, I will allow your involvement in helping us, but please don't ask any more than that. I need time to come to terms with some things that have happened with my life. I don't expect that you would understand."

Lucius looked at Severus and the two men did not have to say anything to know what the other was thinking. Lucius knew exactly what Harry was talking about. He and Severus had been passed around to whomever wanted them. While Voldemort never touched them, just about everyone else did. And their sexual escapades tended to involve sharp and dangerous objects. Both men had been divested of their innocence before they received the Dark Mark.

It was Severus, though, who spoke in a soft voice. "We do understand, Harry; we understand perfectly."  
_  
_"I'm not feeling well; is it alright if we go now?"

"Yes, I think we have stayed long enough." Severus wiped away another tear from Harry's nose, then turned towards Lucius. "I will speak to you again this evening."

Lucius nodded. "Thank you, Harry, for listening."

Harry nodded, but didn't look at Lucius. Severus stood and Harry followed him to the fireplace where the two grabbed a handful of Floo powder before disappearing.

As soon as Harry exited the fireplace in Severus's sitting room he was pulled into warm arms, where he collapsed, but a few minutes later he pulled back and looked at Severus, who looked as upset as Harry felt.

"I'm sorry, Severus. You weren't supposed to hear what happened that way. I just became so upset with the situation and wanted him to understand how much his actions hurt me. I knew how upset you would be hearing it, but I had to get it out."

Oh how Severus wanted to shake some sense into Harry: He didn't need to constantly apologize for his actions. As much as that bothered Severus, however, he knew from his own experiences that Harry wasn't going to change that habit anytime soon. "Harry, you owe me no explanations; knowing how hard it must have been for you to tell Lucius what you did only increases the amount of respect I have for you. I am only sorry for not being more of a comfort when you told him."

Not a comfort? Harry shook his head. When had Severus not been a comfort to him over the past several weeks?" You were, Severus. That is why I looked into your eyes; I needed to be reassured that you were there for me, and I saw the love and concern in your eyes. You are what kept me going. I had managed to block out everything that my uncle and cousin had done to me – it hurt too much thinking about it, so I kept pushing it further back until it almost left me. Now it's all so fresh again; I can feel their hands all over me, and see, and smell, and oh Merlin, I'm going to be sick." Severus picked up Harry and carried him to the bathroom where h was sick on the floor. Severus wet a flannel and wiped off Harry's face before carrying him to the bed.

"You need rest. shhh... I'm not going anywhere, Harry." Severus took a phial out of the drawer by his bed and helped Harry drink the contents of the Dreamless Sleep. Harry continued to sniffle and an occasional tear would still fall, but soon, the potion took effect and Harry was breathing steadily.

Harry woke up in time for supper. Smiling weakly at Severus, he sat up and tried to get out of the bed but was pushed back by Severus.

"I think you should stay in bed. I will bring you a tray for supper." Severus could see that Harry needed more sleep; he had yet to fully recover from the shock he had suffered at the beginning of summer, and with everything else that had been happening, it was a wonder Harry was doing as well as he was. "After you eat, you need to try to get some more rest. "Today has been too much for you, I think, and do not look at me like that, Harry. As much as I dislike thinking about it, I am quite a bit older than you, thus I do have a bit more experience when dealing with stress. Rest is the only thing that is going to help."

Not the _only_ thing, but Harry knew that Severus was being serious, so he merely nodded. "I am tired, Severus, thanks. Before I forget to tell you, I wanted to thank you. One of the reasons I never told you about my uncle and cousin was because I feared if you knew, you would want nothing to do with me, and I wanted you in my life so badly. I wanted you to be the first person inside of me, Sev, and you were. You made it so special for me. It was my first time to make love, and no one can ever take that away from me, from us. From the time I was very young I always said I wanted to wait until I had met the love of my life before making love. You have made all of my dreams come true, Sev, and I love you so much. I know I'm being completely girly here and acting a fool, but it's how I feel."

Severus chuckled. "If your crying and speaking your mind is girly, then I want you to be more girly. You need to get your emotions out, Harry. You keep them all inside, and it isn't healthy."

Harry tried to give Severus a small smile, and hoped he'd succeeded. "I know our days of being carefree are numbered, because of school beginning so I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you, Severus Snape, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you."

Severus leaned over and kissed Harry. "I love you, too, and no matter what has happened in your life, you are Harry James Potter and no one can take who you are away."

It wasn't long before Harry was softly snoring, Severus staring at him, wondering what he had done to deserve this. Maybe all of the sadness of his childhood happened so he could now have a bit of happiness with Harry. He had paid an exorbitant price, but just maybe it would all be worth it. Perhaps his father had sent him Harry to make up for all the wrongs that had been done to him. That was ludicrous and Severus knew it, but it did make him smile to think that perhaps his father – his real father in every way that counted – was smiling down at him.


	20. Chapter 20

**This chapter is extremely disturbing, but it is important to the rest of the story, so I really can't tell you any parts that you can skip since the entire chapter deals with what happens. If you want to pm me to ask what happens, I'll tell you. The first part that is in italics is when the disturbing event actually happens, so you could skip that, but it is talked about throughout the chapter. **

**Chapter Twenty**

_Laughing_

_Screaming. "… No, please don't… Nooooo…."_

_"… ahh is that begging I hear from the little one? Too bad you are going to have to pay for your father's betrayal. We all knew you were never loyal, but your father had us fooled. Well, all of that will be remedied now; his precious little dragon will be nothing after we are through with you, and then we can watch your father as he lives his last days. Not to worry little one, daddy dearest will be joining you very soon…."_

_More screaming. "… Please… NOOOOOOO! Father… please come get me… I love you."_

Harry began to scream and his body convulsed as the cries became louder and deeper, as if Harry were in pain. It was worse than Severus had ever seen: Harry had deep gashes where he'd scratched his face with his fingernails, and he had blood pouring from his scar. Severus tried to get Harry's attention, but the young wizard wasn't responsive.

Severus called the Headmaster and told him to meet him in the hospital wing, then ran with Harry, frantic to get him to respond, but he was afraid it might not be enough this time: he had seen how violent Harry had been acting – whatever Harry had witnessed, had been fatal – it had to have been. "Come on, Harry, wake up!" Severus said as he leaned down over him as he continued towards the hospital wing.

Harry had to be okay.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, Harry's screaming ceased, but he was unconscious, and his heart, which had been beating quickly seconds earlier, was now barely beating. Severus didn't understand, or he didn't want to.

When Severus entered the hospital wing, he placed Harry on the nearest bed and thought that at any moment Harry was going to leave him. It was as scary as anything else he had ever faced. He couldn't lose Harry, not after everything the two had gone through.

Madam Pomfrey, obviously oblivious to what had been going on, heard the commotion from her office and walked into the room. "It is three in the… oh my… Severus? What happened?"

Severus, caressing Harry's cheek, and trying to get him to wake up, turned towards Poppy. "I don't know, Poppy, I think he had a vision; he's not responded to anything since he began screaming; it has never been this bad before. I think he witnessed someone being murdered."

Poppy took the phial Severus had retrieved from his pocket and forced open Harry's mouth to get the contents down, then she forced Severus to take a calming potion. "It will not do to have you panicky, Severus," she said as she gave him a calculated look. "I will not have you adding to my worries. As soon as we get Harry to regain consciousness, we will find out what happened. Whatever it was has caused him great distress and he needs to be reassured right now. I will not allow you to project your worries onto the boy. He needs stability and warmth; things that you _will _give him, Severus."

He nodded; she was right, of course. He needed to remain calm… but how was he to do that? Harry might be dying, or he might already be dead. Severus looked at Poppy and was unsurprised to see her looking at him with sadness and concern. She had always tried her best to help him, from the time he had been a skittish eleven-year-old, until this very day, and Severus felt immense gratitude for her. She had talked to him as a mother would talk to a young child who she was scolding, but Severus didn't mind. His mind was full of concern for Harry and he needed someone to focus his attention on what he needed to do. That had always been one of Poppy's strengths and one of his weaknesses: focusing his thoughts.

A somber Albus entered the hospital wing and took in the conversation between Poppy and Severus. "Severus, would you come with me please?" His voice hid nothing. He had grave news.

"I will not leave until I know Harry will be alright, Albus."

Poppy looked at Albus and could tell that he needed Severus to go with him. She really did hate to see Severus leave Harry, but she had an idea that Albus hated it just as much, but had no choice. That probably meant something bad had happened. "Severus, dear, Harry has been given a mild sleeping draught with the _Anti Cruciatus. _I will call for you as soon as he wakes." Severus merely nodded as he continued to look at Harry for a few seconds more, then he followed the Headmaster.

"We will be in my office, Poppy," Albus added, looking down at Harry and wondering how much was too much.

Entering the Headmaster's office, Severus sat down across from Albus and rested his head in his hands before meeting Albus's gaze. "Something quite violent must have happened, Albus."

"It has, Severus. What Harry experienced was not a vision of what would happen in the future, it was a vision of what was taking place at that very moment."

Severus looked sharply at Albus not wishing to be led on a goose chase to gain the information he needed. "You obviously are aware of what Harry witnessed. Please tell me what you know." There was deep sadness in Albus's eyes, and that, above all else, worried him. He had a very bad feeling, and he thought he knew who had been hurt or killed. He closed his eyes briefly. Why was this happening to his Harry?

Albus sighed. He didn't want to have to tell Severus this, and he didn't want to think about Harry having witnessed it. "Young Mr Malfoy was kidnapped by Death Eaters, then he was beaten and sexually assaulted before being taken to Voldemort, who performed the Killing Curseon him." Albus watched as Severus's face changed from worry to terror, and it hurt to watch that. Albus had known that this would hit Severus hard, and he wished he could ease the blow, but there was nothing. Death of a young man whom Severus had cared for was the death of a young man whom Severus had cared for – there was no making it any easier.

_No, It can't have happened. Draco can't be dead. No, please, no. _Severus's initial thought had been that something had happened to Lucius, and that thought had upset him greatly, but to know that it had been his son who had been killed… that knowledge was a pain that stabbed him in the heart. He shook his head and felt as his eyes began to burn, but he wouldn't cry.

"I am so very sorry, Severus. I know how much you cared for Draco."

Severus couldn't speak, but he mouthed the word _how? _

Albus didn't know precisely what Severus was asking, but he did the best he could to answer. "Salazar, Draco's familiar, set off the alarm that you had given me. I immediately Flooed to Malfoy Manor and found Lucius almost unconscious on his son's bed. I revived him and he told me what happened before his son was taken. I Flooed with Lucius to the Ministry, left him in their care, then Flooed to The Riddle House. It is fortunate I still had you and Harry's band that had the coordinates still intact. I made myself invisible and was devising a plan to breach the wards when I saw them: Voldemort and his small band of Death Eaters were outside of the barriers; Voldemort was pointing his wand at a small figure and then I heard the curse and saw the green light. Then I could make out a few of his words. He said something about teaching his father a lesson he would never forget. I had to get back here as soon as possible because I knew young Harry could have potentially witnessed what happened."

Severus couldn't get past the part about Lucius telling Albus what he had seen happen to his son. At the age of seventeen, he had been left parentless, and that had been a hurt he would never get over, but the thought of losing a child, and seeing them die, or being attacked – it was too ghastly to even think about. He shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose, and looked at the Headmaster. "I'm sorry, but could you repeat that last part? " Severus knew he didn't want to hear it, but he needed to know everything. Albus did as asked, and Severus stood and shook his head. Poor Lucius. But Lucius wasn't the one he was most concerned about at the moment.

"Oh dear Merlin, Albus. Draco is dead and Harry saw it. Harry had to witness everything. Did the Death Eaters attack Lucius as well?"

"Not as far as I could tell or see, but Lucius was understandably distraught, so we'll need to ask him later about that. I left word with Arthur to return Lucius here later this morning. Apparently, Narcissa has left the country. There is some thought that she may have been feeding Voldemort information regarding Lucius and Draco's true loyalties…"

Not an altogether surprise. Severus had never much cared for the pretty girl who had married for money. "If I ever get my hands on her, so help me, I will kill her. Damn her for being responsible for killing her own son."

"Now, Severus, we do not know for sure that she was involved, and it will not do for you to get yourself in trouble when Harry will be needing you now more than ever."

"Why? Why is it always Harry? Why is it always him who has to go through this hell? Albus, after yesterday, I really was beginning to think things were improving for him; he faced Lucius, which had to have been excruciating, but he did it. I have never been prouder of anyone in my life. Now this? How much can one person be asked to suffer before he cannot continue?"

~*~

Harry was just beginning to stir when Albus and Severus entered. Severus sat beside Harry and began lightly stroking his face. It was almost too much for him, seeing his Harry so vulnerable, but he made himself remain strong… for Harry.

Poppy went to the other side of Harry and began prodding him, then said, "Rennervate."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. The calming potion was still in his system, so he remained docile, but when he saw Severus, his face contorted in pain. "Draco is dead, Sev, I saw Voldemort kill him." Poppy gasped in horror.

"Is it true, Headmaster?"

"I am afraid it is, Poppy."

"And he saw it all? No wonder he almost went into shock again."

Severus lifted Harry into his arms and held him as the younger wizard softly cried in his arms. There were no words to make the situation any better, and for endless minutes, nothing but the sound of small sobs could be heard.

Harry would have to talk about what he saw ,eventually, but Severus didn't want to hear what he would say. He didn't want to hear Harry recalling what had happened because he knew from first-hand experience that reliving experiences could almost be as bad as the real thing. He continued to rock Harry back and forth and tried to remove the fringe from Harry's eyes. Poppy and Albus left to give the two some time alone.

"Severus, come get me in my office if you need me."

"I will, Poppy. Thank you."

"Lucius will be arriving soon so I must go meet with him. If you need me, Severus, I will be here," Albus said as he opened the door.

"Thank you, Albus." Severus placed Harry's still slightly shaking body under the covers and joined him. "Harry, I am here, love." Severus had Harry facing him, wrapped in his arms.

He had to be strong for his Harry.

No one had been there for him when he needed them the most.

Severus allowed a few tears to fall but would not allow his self to lose control. _I have to be strong for Harry. I can cry later when I am alone, but not now. _Severus took a few deep breaths and wiped his eyes.

Harry began to move and opened his eyes to see Severus wiping the tears that Harry had shed. He didn't say anything as he wrapped his arms around Severus's body. Then in a soft voice that Severus had to strain to hear, Harry began speaking. "I see him screaming and begging for his life, Sev, every time I close my eyes. Then I hear his father telling me that it was for Draco that he changed sides. For his son who is now dead. Oh Sev, how will Draco's father get through this?"

"I don't know, Harry, but he will. It won't be easy because he will blame himself. We, who once counted ourselves in Voldemort's circle, all will have to live with our choices and the consequences. Lucius left Voldemort and joined us so his son could have a normal life away from the binding powers of Voldemort. It is the ultimate price that he is having to pay now. No parent should ever have to bury their child." Severus continued to wipe away Harry's tears that were coming more frequently. "I'm so sorry, so so sorry." When he felt Harry squeeze his hand, he squeezed back. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Severus. It's not fair. He didn't deserve to die. Draco and I never did get along, and I wish we had. Even after he had changed his allegiances, we were only somewhat more civil towards one another. I did see that he had good in him and I know you trusted and respected him. I'm sorry I never tried to be his friend. I know you wanted me. Harry looked at Severus as he snuggled into the crook of his neck. "I have never been so scared in my life, Severus; even facing Voldemort didn't fill me with as much fear as seeing Voldemort pointing his wand at Draco. There was nothing I could do. His body fell to the ground and then there was nothing: he was gone."

Memories of his parents and siblings came flooding back and Severus had to shake his head and tell them to leave. "It is always harder to witness others being tortured and killed, Harry. It was never meant for the human mind to have to witness such atrocities." Severus looked at Harry and tipped his chin up so their eyes met. "Do you want to tell me about it? You really should get it all out, Harry. Remember I know what you have seen and I have been through it myself. Those are not memories to be locked away, Harry."

"What do you want me to say, Severus? That I saw them beating Draco with straps leaving his skin open and exposed, the blood covering his back and legs; that I saw him raped repeatedly by three men; that I heard him scream the most awful sounds I have ever heard begging for someone to help him; that he called out to his father to come help him? That is what I saw. That is what I heard. That is what I felt."

"You felt what, Harry?" Severus had a very bad and sick feeling at the thought of what this implied.

"I could feel everything: the beating, the raping, and the Killing Curse."

"Have you always been able to feel things even when they weren't performed by Voldemort?"

"No. He knows, Severus, and he wants me to feel what is happening to everyone else so I'll know what he has in store for me." Harry was now talking at a normal level, but his eyes were dull and he was listless, his voice emotionless.

"Damn him," was all Severus could manage to say at this point.

"My thoughts exactly." Harry closed his eyes, but then opened them not even a second later. "We are supposed to go to Diagon Alley today, and I am going Severus, no matter what anyone says. I can't let Voldemort dictate my every move."

Severus nodded, but he doubted Harry would be going anywhere. "You need to get some sleep, love. Drink this and you will sleep peacefully."

Harry gratefully drank the contents and soon felt the effects as he closed his eyes. He felt two soft kisses on each of his eyes.

"I love you Harry."

Severus informed Poppy that he was leaving, then made his way to the Headmaster's office. As he was nearing it, he ran into Sirius.

"How is Harry, Snape"?

"He is sleeping for the moment. When he wakes, it will be good for him to see you. He needs to feel safe, Black; he believes Voldemort is using his scar as a link to tease him with what will eventually happen to him. I do not doubt his logic, but if this is the case, then I fear more lives will be taken. I also fear for Harry and what he might do to prevent Voldemort from killing anyone else."

Sirius didn't have to think too hard to know what Severus was referring to. He knew Harry wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice himself if it would save other lives. "Do you really think Harry capable of such a thing?"

Severus furrowed his brow. "I am his soul mate, Black, I have a link with him that allows me to feel what he is feeling, and don't forget, I have been capable of such a thing, and if not for Albus, would have succeeded."

It was a lot to digest, and Sirius wasn't at all sure how to respond. His godson was being tortured and was the soul mate of someone he could barely tolerate, and now he was having to deal with the fact that Harry might be a danger to himself. "So, all of this talk about Harry not being the object of Voldemort's wrath was just that: talk. Harry really is the object of Voldemort's desire, and always has been. Is that how it is, Snape?"

"For now he is, and for now it is his friends and fellow students who are being targeted. As long as that remains the case, Harry will think it his fault and responsibility for Draco's death and any further deaths that might occur. It is my responsibility as his soul mate, and as the person who loves him, to protect him. Black, I will do whatever it takes and I am counting on you to help as well." It was not a request and Severus could only hope that Black understood.

"Snape, whatever you need me to do for Harry, name it and it'll be done. I'll do whatever it takes to save my godson."

"Move in to Hogwarts then."

"How would that help, Snape?"

"Really, Black, I thought you at least would be bright enough to realise that outside of these walls, you are vulnerable, being one of Voldemort's heirs. Harry needs you alive. He almost didn't survive your death last time, and I am not wanting to go through that again."

Sirius nodded and sighed. "I will speak to Albus about moving in then. What will happen to Lucius?"

"The same as you; he has no choice really. His son has been killed for what Lucius did, and there is suspicion that Narcissa has been the one feeding Voldemort the information regarding Draco and her husband."

**~*~**

"I felt it, Albus; I knew there was something not right, yet I did nothing to prevent my son's death. He is dead and is never coming back. If I had only…"

"Don't, Lucius. _If only_ is just as much of a trap as the Mirror of Erised. You can dwell on them forever, yet no truth or knowledge will ever be found."

"Have they found Narcissa? No one would tell me anything at the Ministry; everyone avoided coming near me."

"Not yet, Lucius, but it is only a matter of time. Has Arthur interviewed you regarding this morning's events?"

"No, I was not very cooperative when you left me; Arthur said you would be able to interview me more easily after I had had some time to calm down."

"Are you prepared now?"

"No, but I never will be, so let's get this over with."

Albus had never in his life felt sorry for Lucius Malfoy, but this day he did. He had witnessed sorrow in his many years of life, some of it too difficult to think about, and the look in Lucius's eyes was one Albus knew would stay with him forever. He dreaded having to do this, but he had no choice. "I am going to record this for verification, Lucius; the Ministry and Order both need this information." Lucius nodded, and Albus began. "When were you first aware of something being amiss at Malfoy Manor?"

"I had just retired to my room about two and was getting ready to get in the bed when the alarms began sounding in Draco's rooms. I immediately ran to his bedroom where I saw him being beaten by a Death Eater. I tried to enter his room, but a Shielding Charm had been placed around the room and I could not move. The three Death Eaters saw me, laughed at me, and pointed to Draco as they beat him. I tried to run the other way to get help, but one of them placed a shield around me restricting my movements. I had to watch them beat and whip my son until he was covered in blood; it was horrible. Then they tore off the remainder of his robes and stripped him of his underclothes before they each raped him repeatedly, looking directly at me as they took turns. Draco was conscious throughout; they would Reenervate him when he passed out. I could hear him screaming and crying and yelling for me to help him; he could see me. I only hope he knew I was trying to get to him. Oh Merlin, not Draco."

Lucius had not often allowed his emotions to show; it was not befitting of a Malfoy to show weakness at any level, and his parents had instilled in him at an early age that weakness would not be tolerated from their son. He had the scars to show for the few outbursts he had had, and recalling how much pain he suffered for his emotions remained with him into his adulthood causing him to hide his emotions from the outside world.

Now he had lost the one positive aspect of his life: his son. Their relationship had not been a good one until recently, but in the short amount of time the two had spent together, Lucius had come to respect and love his son very much. The house-elves had done a wonderful job with Draco, and he had grown up to be a very astute young man who knew what he wanted and did not want out of life. Now that he was gone, Lucius was alone. He could feel the tears threatening to fall and willed them away; what would Albus think? _Albus would think I just lost my son, which I did. He would encourage me to get my emotions out and to talk about how I feel. Not everyone is like my parents._

Lucius cried.

**~*~**

Severus left Sirius and continued making his way to the Headmaster's office. _I cannot believe I told Black to move in. Merlin, Harry, you have changed me, I guess for the better. _

Severus spoke the password, which this week happened to be jellybeans, and knocked on the Headmaster's door.

"Come in, Severus."

Severus walked in to see Lucius, who had obviously been crying, sitting across from the Headmaster. "I can come back later, Albus. Lucius, I am so very sorry about Draco. He was a wonderful young man." Lucius motioned to Severus to join them and have a seat.

"Thank you, Severus. I want you to know that my son looked up to and respected you very much. I want to thank you for helping him in the choices he made."

Severus sat down in the chair beside Lucius and looked at his former yearmate. "You were sincere when you said you were with us. I don't think I truly believed you until just now."

"Severus, my situation has been and will always remain precarious. I am being allowed to live so that I can slowly be tortured to death; it began this morning. I have no illusions that my life will be a long one. Too many people want me dead, and I can hardly find fault with that thought. When I realised my son and I were on opposite sides of the fence, it saddened me greatly. For the longest time, I tried convincing him that being one of Voldemort's followers would bring him such joy and happiness, all the while knowing he would only receive misery. I was being selfish: I wanted him with me at any cost. Then, I woke up one day and decided how wrong I had been about my life, and how right my son was about his. It was not something that happened overnight, but eventually, I came to understand how manipulative Voldemort has always been with his followers. For my son, I turned my allegiance, and never looked back. I did all of this for Draco, Severus, all for Draco."

"You will be staying at Hogwarts now?"

"If I am welcome, yes. No matter that I switched my allegiances for my son, with him gone, my resolve to get rid of Voldemort has not diminished. In fact, I have more reason now than ever to see him dead. Will there be any problems with me being here?" Lucius looked at Severus, who knew what he was referring to, but it was Albus who answered.

"Harry will not have any reservations about you being here, Lucius. I dare say, he will be wanting to talk to you again."

Lucius hadn't a clue as to why. "And… why would he want to do that?" It was not asked haughtily, just inquisitively. Surely Harry had nothing further to say to him.

Albus looked at Severus then turned his attention back to Lucius. "Harry saw, heard, and felt what happened to your son, Lucius, everything."

"How?"

"His scar has always linked him to Voldemort; he has been able to give us information regarding gatherings, but he also has been able to feel the punishments doled out by Voldemort, as well. He has been under Cruciatus numerous times since his fifth year. This morning, Harry was able to feel what the other Death Eaters were doing. He thinks Voldemort has discovered the link and is using it now to tease him with what he will eventually do to him when he has him; it is a logical explanation."

"I was there and saw what they did to my son; it was barbaric. Harry felt it as well? How is he?"

Severus answered. "Physically, he will be fine, but emotionally, he is of course not doing well at all. He saw you trying to get to your son, and he heard Draco calling out to you. It has disturbed Harry very much knowing that you had to witness your son being tortured as he was."

Now Lucius understood and he felt sorrow for Harry – it was probably the first time he truly felt badly for Harry. The boy really had been asked to do too much, and had been put under far more than a child should. "I would very much like to speak to Harry when he is feeling rested, of course with you, Severus, if Harry agrees, that is."

Severus nodded. "He will most likely want to speak with you today, Lucius."

Yes, Lucius would ask Harry what he had seen. He needed to know what his son's last seconds were like. Not that he particularly wanted to know, but he needed to know. He needed to know what he had done to his son. He could feel the tears as they worked their way to the surface, and he tried to quell them. "The funeral will be this evening, here at Hogwarts, then Draco will be buried at Malfoy Cemetery." Would you be a pall bearer, Severus?"

"You know I will, Lucius."

**~*~**

"Sirius?"

"Yes, it's me."

Harry sat up in the bed and looked over at his godfather with a look of relief on his face. "I am glad you're here. I need you to be here with me today."

Sirius sat down on the edge of Harry's bed and pulled his godson into a hug. "Oh Merlin, Harry, I am so sorry you had to go through that this morning. I'll be here as long as you need me to be."

Harry tried to smile. "At least I'm still alive, Sirius. Mr Malfoy and Draco are the ones you should be feeling sorry for, not me."

Sirius nodded. "No one deserves to meet their end that way."

"No, definitely not, Sirius. Have you seen Draco's father? Professor Dumbledore was going to meet with him after he left me."

"I am sure he arrived after I left; I talked with Snape on my way down here and he's the one who told me to be here when you woke up."

Harry gave Sirius a slight smile. "He isn't so bad, Sirius, see?"

"Yeah… I suppose I do, Harry. He cares for you more than life itself, that much I am sure of."

"And you are okay with us now?"

Not at all was Sirius okay with Harry and Severus, but he was trying. "I'm getting there Harry, one day at a time."

"That's good enough for me; all I wanted was for you to give him a chance, and it seems you are."

"That I am, Harry. That's what love does to you: it makes you put aside old hurts to appease those you love most, and Harry, I do love you; I want you to know that. You are the part of James and Lily that will shine on forever. They would be so proud of you."

Harry hugged Sirius. "Thank you. I love you, too, Sirius, and I'm so happy you're alive. Things just weren't right when I thought you were gone."

"Kiddo, I plan on being around for awhile."

Sirius and Harry heard the door open and looked to see Severus and Lucius entering.

"Harry, I'll be back later, okay? Get some rest." Sirius placed a kiss on his godson's forehead then left, but not before giving Lucius his condolences.

Severus and Lucius came to stand by Harry's bed. Harry felt like crying, but pleaded with himself not to. "I am really sorry about Draco, Mr Malfoy." Harry could feel his lips beginning to quiver and closed his eyes willing away the tears, but he couldn't win the battle this time.

"Thank you, Harry. I wasn't sure if you would want to see me, but I was told that you saw and felt what my son went through this morning, and wanted to ask you a few questions if that is alright with you?"

Yes, it was more than alright. Harry didn't wish to think about what had happened, but Draco's father deserved to know everything that had happened to his son. "Yes, sir, I did feel and see what your son went through, and yes, I will answer any questions you have."

Lucius sat in the chair that Albus had conjured for him, then took a shaky breath as he watched Severus take Harry's hand. Lucius wasn't sure he wanted to ask or to be told these things regarding his son, but he would ask and he would listen. "I saw everything that happened in his bedroom, but I need to know what it was like for him when Voldemort killed him. I do not wish to inflict any further pain by making you relive these memories, Mr Potter, I just feel that I need to know what my son went through and if you heard him say anything before he died."

"I understand, sir. From the time he left his bedroom until the time he was placed before Voldemort, he was screaming for someone to help him. After leaving his bedroom, he didn't say your name again until Voldemort was about to kill him. His exact words were '_Father, please come get me… I love you. _That is the last thing he said." Harry had a new set of tears, which Severus wiped away.

"Thank you, Harry." Lucius stood, nodded to Severus and Harry, then left the hospital wing.

"Sev, how could he sit here and listen to me say what I did and not cry?"

Lucius had almost cried, and Severus knew how much he must have struggled with that, but he understood what Harry was saying. Harry was someone who showed emotions so readily, not at all like him or Lucius. He stood and tucked Harry under the covers, then gave him a brief kiss on the pale, pink lips. "The same way I didn't cry when my family was killed, Harry; it is part of us, who we are. I eventually did cry, and when I entered the Headmaster's office earlier, Lucius had been crying. I know you couldn't tell, but he nearly cried as he was talking to you. When you are raised to believe showing emotion is a weakness, it is not easy to overcome that stigma, Harry. Once Lucius learns that it is okay to show emotion then he will also be set free in that aspect of his life. Draco's funeral will be difficult for Lucius; he will cry, Harry."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Hogwarts had been the site of several somber funerals over the many years it had occupied the sacred ground above the Scottish Highlands and surrounding lake, the eulogized encompassing both the good and the bad of society (In the early years of the castle's existence, funerals were held at Hogwarts for the surrounding villages' inhabitants. For the past four-hundred years, however, only students and staff have been given the option of being buried on these most revered of grounds.). This most recent and unexpected funeral about to occur promised to be one of the more interesting ones.

Malfoy was a surname long associated with the dark arts: The name had evoked enough fear to keep even the most curious magical folk far away from that large house on the hill where people had been known to enter but never exit. In death, however, wizards, witches and all matter of wizarding folk seemed almost fanatical about being part of such an event. Most everyone who lived within walking distance of Hogwarts seemed to be converging along the perimeter, hoping to glance the elder Malfoy as he buried his son.

This attempt at an up-close-and-personal view of what was happening was in vain, however: Even if the wards of Hogwarts did allow just anyone to enter, _this_ funeral would be closed to the public, and the wards surrounding Hogwarts had been increased to include a greater perimeter around the castle.

Besides the staff at Hogwarts, the only other attendees of Draco's funeral were Cornelius Fudge, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Sirius, Harry, and, of course, Lucius, who was standing by himself in front of the casket. Harry, who was still recovering from the morning's events, was leaning against Severus for support.

It was too quiet. Harry had never thought it could be this silent; he felt as though he was suspended in time. He could see Draco's body lying motionless. It couldn't be real, only it was: Draco Malfoy was dead. He watched, unable to turn away as Lucius stared at his young son one last time. Harry felt as if he were intruding, that this was a private moment between father and son, yet he was unable to move because of being completely captivated by this man who he recently had such animosity towards. The look on the man's face and his gentle actions towards his son who now rested in his permanent bed tore at Harry's soul. Harry watched as Lucius ran his fingers down Draco's cheek, watched as he picked up one of Draco's pale hands and brought it to his face, watched as he bent over and kissed his son one final time.

For all of the visuals, there were no audible sounds.

Then there were.

Professor Dumbledore stood up and began the service, and it was as if an invitation had been given for the silence to cease. Lucius went to sit by himself, not far from his son.

Harry could hear the sniffles of his teachers; he could hear and see Draco's father grieving for his son, and wondered how he would get through this; he could see the strain and hear the grief of Severus; he could see Sirius with his eyes squeezed shut; he could see and feel his body shaking. Severus must have noticed because he moved closer to Harry and wrapped an arm around him. Harry was grateful for the touch and warmth: he felt so cold. He was seeing it again, Draco screaming for help, begging his father to come get him, pleading with his captors not to rape him. Harry shut his eyes, trying to block out the images, but there was no relief to be had. He saw the green light hitting the body of Draco; he saw him fall to the ground; he saw his lifeless body convulsing from the force of the unforgivable. Harry began shaking uncontrollably. It was too much. He had seen death – he had seen Cedric die the same fate. He knew how difficult that had been for him, for everyone.

This was different, why or how, Harry didn't know.

It just was.

Severus saw the tears. He saw the increase in Harry's shaking, and he saw the fear. He tightened his hold on Harry and tried to calm him, but he knew there was no peace to be had, not today, maybe not ever.

Then the service was over and people were leaving. Harry couldn't move, or he didn't want to. He could hear Severus talking to him, and he could see the concern on his godfather's face. He felt arms embracing him, and saw Mrs Weasley.

She was the one who had finally allowed Harry to cry over what he had witnessed when Cedric had died. She had held him until he had no more tears – she was a mother who knew what Harry needed. He needed his mother now – his mother who had never been there for him, his mother who never had the opportunity. He needed a mother, and Mrs Weasley was a mother to him. He cried as Mrs Weasley held him. Once Harry dried his eyes and thanked Ron's mum, she and her husband left, but not before making Harry promise to call on them if he needed anything.

Now the only inhabitants of the room were Harry, Severus, Sirius, and Lucius. The latter remained near his son, whose body would soon be moved to its final resting-place.

Sirius hugged Harry and left: It had upset him greatly to know that his godson must have reacted similarly when everyone thought he had died. Seeing Harry this distraught had also brought back memories of James and Lily. Sirius hadn't been able to grieve along with his friends because he had been sent to Azkaban. He'd never grieved as he needed to, and he now thought it was time he did.

After Sirius left, Severus turned Harry towards the exit and began moving them outdoors, but Harry stopped and shook his head as he reached his hand in his pocket and ran his fingers over the parchment that he felt so very protective of now. "I need to talk to Draco's father, Severus."

"Harry, do you think it can wait for the burial? We need to give Lucius some private time before they come and remove Draco's body."

Harry nodded as his chin began quivering again, and he and Severus left the room. They passed Professor McGonagall on their way back to the hospital wing. She seemed to be in a hurry, something about going to see her sister. Harry thought she looked ill.

**~*~**

The day had been excruciating for everyone in the castle: the mood was more somber than anyone recalled it ever being. Diagon Alley had been closed to all students buying their school supplies – it would reopen in two days – two days before classes were to begin. There was panic everywhere, and parents feared for their children's safety. The Headmaster had received letter after letter asking for reassurances that Hogwarts was safe. He assured everyone there was no safer place for their children at a time such as this. He only hoped he was correct; it wasn't easy being responsible for hundreds of students, but it was his duty and he took it seriously.

Harry remained under Madam Pomfrey's care after the funeral: Physically, he was recovering, but it was going to take time for his body to get over the stresses it had been placed under when Draco had been killed. He continued having episodes of convulsions that racked his body, and he woke up screaming more than once.

Severus frantically tried to find the combination of ingredients that would allow Harry to rest – he found himself over the cauldron, desperate for anything that might help his Harry. He had been working on this new Dreamless Sleep potion for the past year, trying to improve it, making it stronger, while making its addictive properties less so. Now that he had Harry and knew that the need for a new potion was all the more important, Severus found himself more determined than ever; there had to be something he was missing. He had always been able to combine the exact ingredients needed to obtain the required results in the past, so he knew he could do so now. He was exhausted and emotionally drained, but he wouldn't stop until he had helped Harry.

A few hours later, a tired and irritable Severus had doubled the amount of unicorn hair and had included a tear from Fawkes. He had been certain this would work, but it didnt. Frustrated, he turned away from his worktable, sat down, and placed his head in his hands. What was he missing? He had to help Harry. The tears were getting to him… _tears: _he needed to add a human tear, but not any human tear – he needed his and Harry's. Severus returned to his worktable, determined that he was going to make this potion work for Harry.

Severus allowed one of his tears to drop into a phial before all but running to see Harry, whom Madam Pomfrey was currently prodding with her wand. He told Poppy of his probable discovery and gently shook Harry, who was not responding to his presence.

"Severus, I am afraid he is going into shock again. I don't think there is anything serious for us to be concerned about since the two of you are soul mates, but I do think we need to monitor him closely. He is extremely depressed, and seems to be suffering immensely."

Severus gently shook Harry. "Harry, love, can you hear me? It's Severus. Please look at me; I need to talk to you, okay?"

Harry turned away. which caused Severus to look at Poppy with questioning eyes, to which the matron could only shake her head.

Severus walked around to the other side of the bed and began stroking Harry's face gently. "I'll be here when you want to talk, Harry." There was still no response. Severus looked around and met Poppy's eyes. This was so unfair – Harry did not deserve this.

"You needed to talk to me, Severus?" Harry's voice was weak, but he tried sitting.

"Don't get up, Harry, you need your rest. I only wanted to inform you that I have perhaps found a solution to the sleeping draught for you. I think adding a tear from both you and me should work. The therapeutic properties of the tears in the potion should mitigate any unpleasant emotions while you are under its effect. Remember me telling you about adding a tear from Fawkes?" When he received a nod, he continued. "I thought for sure that would be the answer, but what I failed to realise is that even as a Phoenix tear heals whatever it touches, its effects are not as strong when the Phoenix does not directly shed its tear on the intended wound, and it does not work on internal wounds such as you have. Your physical wounds are healing, but your emotional wounds that are invading your sleep and causing you the greatest amount of distress are what need to be eliminated as quickly as possible."

"Why would our tears work?" Not that Harry particularly cared, but he was curious. Potions had always been a mystery to him. How in the heck could Severus figure out these complicated combinations to make potions?

"Hm, it only took you six years to gain a healthy respect for what I do," Severus said, a slight grin on his face, but he quickly removed it when Harry's frown persisted. "Let me see if I can explain so you will understand. Human tears consist of the essence that makes us who we are, Harry, and when added with the other ingredients of the draught, I am hopeful that the result will allow you to begin to heal emotionally as you sleep." It was an oversimplified answer, but perhaps the only one Harry would understand.

"It seems so simple." Harry knew it wasn't.

"Yes, well, many things in life seem simple. In reality there is very little that is simple. I think you are discovering that." And oh how Severus wished Harry weren't having to do so. It was wreaking havoc on his nervous system to see his Harry so distraught.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Harry roughly wiped away a tear.

"I do want to warn you that this potion will not remove what you are going through; it will only help to diminish the deep-rooted emotional havoc from invading your sleep – the other emotional aspects will have to heal normally. I will help you, as will everyone else here, Harry."

When Harry's tears began to fall more readily, Severus took several of them, putting each in a separate phial.

**~*~**

The burial, which took place later that evening, was just as somber as the earlier service, but with added finality. At least Draco's body could be seen earlier: Now his casket had been closed forever and was going to be lowered and then covered with the earth. It was a lonely feeling for Harry; he had felt alone for most of his life, and he knew Draco had as well. How could they leave Draco alone here all by himself?

Severus held Harry close to him throughout the service and wiped the young wizard's tears as they fell, ignoring his own. After most everyone left, Severus and Harry approached Lucius, who was seated before Draco's casket. There were no words spoken for the longest time, then Lucius stood up and fell into the embrace of his once closest friend. They had long ago resigned themselves to a fate far worse than death, but neither had seriously thought how their choices could affect the ones they loved. Now, standing in front of Draco's casket, they knew. They knew that this was the ultimate price – Lucius had lost his son for an ideal that could never be, for an ideal that was not ideal at all. Lucius broke the embrace and turned to Harry.

Harry opened his mouth, but nothing came out. All he could do was mouth the words, "I'm sorry." Lucius nodded and sat down. He motioned Harry to take the seat next to him.

When Lucius spoke, it was in a soft and strained voice, one full of emotion. "My son respected you, Harry, and I know he was looking forward to working with you." He pushed up his robe sleeve, revealing Draco's familiar, Salazar. Gently removing it from his own arm, he motioned Harry to give him his right arm, then after Harry nodded for him to proceed, he placed the snake around Harry's out-stretched arm, where the snake recoiled himself. Lucius then smiled as much as he could, which wasn't much as he was close to breaking. "Salazar is powerful, Harry; Severus gave him to Draco to ensure his safety. My son was a Parselmouth, did you know that?" Harry shook his head. "Not many people did. You're the only other person who can communicate with him and Salazar will be good to you, Harry; he will protect you as best he can."

Harry knew he should be wary of this, and a month or so earlier, he would have never accepted such a gift, but now he was certain that Draco's dad was being sincere. He wasn't sure how he knew this, but he did.

"When I reentered my son's rooms this afternoon, Salazar was coiled up on my son's bed, hissing loudly. I had the feeling he was expressing his grief over his master's loss. It is almost unbearable for me to let him go, Harry, because he is the one thing that was always with my son. They never went anywhere without each other – until this morning. But Salazar needs you now more than me. Please accept and take care of him, as he will take care of you. I know you will be a good master to him, Harry."

Harry looked at Draco's father and nodded his head. "I will accept him, Mr Malfoy, and I will take care of him. Thank you." Harry felt this was too much and he wanted to give Salazar back to this grieving man sitting next to him, but Draco's father had thought this through, Harry could tell. He accepted what he was given, but in the process had to also accept what had been lost for him to be given this.

_"Sev, Draco is really gone, he's not coming back to Hogwarts."_

_"No, Harry, he isn't coming back."_

Harry looked at Severus and nodded his head; he was ready.

Severus stepped back. "If the two of you will excuse me, I need to go talk to the Headmaster. Harry, I will be back in ten minutes," Severus said as he studied Harry's face, trying to ascertain if he was really okay with this. He had asked for a moment alone with Lucius, and Severus had agreed, but he wasn't at all sure it would be a good idea.

Harry nodded towards Severus. After taking a deep breath, he gathered his nerve and turned to face Draco's father. "Mr Malfoy?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Er… when Draco and I last talked, he wasn't sure at that time if he was going to receive the Dark Mark or not, but he knew either way that he was not in a very good position. A few months later, he sent me this letter and asked me to give it to you if anything ever happened to him." Harry took out the parchment and handed it to Draco's father, whose hands shook as he brought the letter to his face and took in a deep breath.

Lucius felt a wave of emotion hit him, but he tried valiantly to push it away until Harry left. It had to be uncomfortable enough for Harry to be standing here with him, talking about Draco. "Thank you, Harry. I really do wish you and my son could have become friends and learned more about each other; you would have liked him, Harry – he was nothing like me."

Harry wanted to say this was untrue; he wanted to say that Draco _was_ like Lucius because somewhere, there had to be a part of Lucius that was also good, and honest. For all the misery the elder Malfoy had put Harry through, he knew that this man had not become that person on his own.

Severus chose this moment to return, which Harry was relieved about. He had had to give the letter to Draco's father, but he wanted nothing more than to get away from this oppressive setting, and from Draco, who was about to be left alone. Harry couldn't stand the thought of that and didn't want to be around when everyone left him.

"Lucius, Harry and I should be going. When will you be arriving at Hogwarts?"

"I will be arriving tomorrow morning. Albus wants to meet with me. He said it is important."

"Will you join Harry and me for dinner in my rooms at one?"

"Yes, Severus, I will. Thank you for the invitation."

"My friend, it is time we put our past grievances behind us. Not all can or will be forgiven, but for now, it can be put aside." Severus glanced at Harry, who inclined his head in agreement.

Lucius nodded. "Then I will see the two of you at one." He then turned to Harry and whispered thank you. Severus hugged Lucius, then he and Harry left Malfoy Cemetery, leaving a very somber Lucius behind with a letter in his hand.

Watching the two leave, Lucius opened the parchment and began to read the words his son had written:

_Father -_

_I have come to a decision today, one which should make you very happy. I have decided to receive the Dark Lord's Mark, to follow him. Only, if you are reading this, you are probably aware that my true loyalties never were with him, but with the Order, and Professor Dumbledore._

_Father, I have spent my entire life wishing just once that you would tell me you loved me, but I guess us Malfoys don't do emotional well. I have never been like you, and have never wanted to. It is a hard thing to do, telling your father you never want to be like him, but it is the truth. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you when you do not know you are being watched, and I can see something in your eyes. I think you want to denounce the Dark Lord, but I do not think you ever will._

_Father, I do love you, and fear for you. I won't ask you to change your loyalties for your dead son, but I will ask you to think of yourself and Mother. She has been distant recently, and I worry about her. I knew when I decided to fight against your side that I was risking my life, father. There are many of us who will probably not live to see our twentieth birthdays, I fear. But, if we can help end the war, then our lives will not have been lost in vain._

_I forgive you, father, for everything: for not being there when I needed you, for not being there when I cried myself to sleep, but most of all I forgive you for not loving me; I know you would have if you could. I think I loved you enough for the both of us._

_I talked with Professor Snape today and he shared some information with me that has helped me understand you better. You could have told me – I would have listened, and I would have understood. I am sorry you had to grow up in such a hateful environment, father. I have always been a needy and spoiled child, needing and wanting so much more attention than I could possibly have got. When you see me, I hope you do not think me uncaring or hateful because I am truly none of those things. It has taken me six years to realise this, but I do care what others think of me, and I do want to be liked and loved. I am writing this letter now, during the second week of July 1997, but we have no idea of knowing when or if you will ever read this. If we are truly fortunate, father, much of what I have written here will no longer be the case when and if you do read this letter at a later date. I will always hold out hope for us, father._

_I love you and Mother more than I can say and wish I could spare you the loss of your only son. Please do not grieve too long for me. I would rather have died fighting for something I believed in than to live for nothing._

_Your son,_

_Draco_

Lucius sat down, allowed several tears to fall, then composed himself and smiled at his son's final resting-place. "Oh Draco, I do love you. I will always love you, my son."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two`**

"Good Morning, Severus. Would you care for a cup of tea? I was about to pour myself one," asked a chipper Albus as he surveyed Severus's demeanor, which looked only somewhat dour this morning as opposed to overwhelmingly so as it had the night previous. Albus wanted to believe that Harry's countenance had improved the same, but the current mood of Severus seemed to indicate otherwise. He poured a cup of tea and handed it to Severus, who sat down in his usual chair and looked towards the steaming cup in his hands; he looked forlorn and alone. Albus sighed and shook his head as he poured the tea into his cup. As he took his seat behind the desk, he wondered if Severus's current musings had to do with Harry – there was a one-hundred percent probability that it did. A slight grin found its way to his face, though he did try to hide it with a cough: How could it be that Severus had gone from one extreme to the other in the span of not even sixty days? It was no minor miracle, and Abus thanked Merlin and Harry for the transformation in Severus. Harry had done wonders for him. Now if only Severus could return the favor. Albus had every confidence that he could and would. "How is our young Harry fairing this morning?"

_Our young Harry?_ Severus thought as he looked up, his frown increasing. Harry was no one's, yet he thought everyone was counting on him. Severus had spent more than a few days and nights trying to calm Harry and not allow him to dwell on what others wanted from him, and then things such as this happened: innocent words spoken without malice, yet they were ones that proved that Harry was not j_ust Harry. _That is, at least in Severus's mind_: _if he'd ever spoken his thoughts to the others, they would have assured him that Harry really was no one else's, that Harry was his own person and that he owed no one anything. Severus hadn't asked, however, because when one grew up expected to do what others thought they should do, their expectations about others were that their circumstances were the same as his.

Severus sighed and felt as the façade he had been wearing for the past few hours began to falter. He was thankful that he felt secure enough to allow Albus to see the real him. "He is not at all well, Albus. He's unchanged from your visit of last evening. That is why I have come to see you this morning: I'm concerned for his well-being. You know that I have tried everything to get him out of this depression he seems to be slipping into," Severus said, his eyes imploring Albus to understand that he really had tried, "but as we both know, once depression has taken hold, it isn't easy to disengage yourself from its grasp. As much as it pains me to say this, I think Black might be the only one who can get through to Harry at this point. Harry always did seem unbearably cheerful when Black was around, so I am counting on him to perform his _canine magic _again," Severus finished, knowing that the usual reproach from Albus wouldn't come this time, but also knowing that he wished he were at a point where Albus could sternly tell him to behave: The look of sorrow on the only person, other than Harry, who loved him and cared what happened to him, hurt Severus far more than he wished it did.

"I couldn't agree more with your assessment of Sirius's effects on Harry. Sirius is taking care of some business for me and will be back this evening. When he arrives, I will send him directly to your rooms, Severus; you need to be the one to explain how serious this situation is. I am counting on you and Sirius to get over your animosity for Harry's sake, and I know neither of you will let me down. And I should add that while I am hopeful that Sirius will be able to help Harry, if he is unable to do so, then we will need to think about other alternatives to quell Harry's depression before it takes over completely. We need Harry well, Severus."

_We? _ Yes, everyone needed Harry well, didn't they? But it wasn't for him that they needed him well – it was for themselves – Harry was expected to rid the world of Voldemort. Severus wanted to lash out at Albus. Well, Harry might be a means to an end for everyone else, but to Severus, Harry was the most important person in his life and there was no way he was allowing Albus's plans to quell Harry's depression to happen. No, absolutely not. The Headmaster's alternative was St Mungo's, and Severus would not allow that to happen; it would send Harry round the bend, and he'd be lost from them forever. "As much as I appreciate your concern, Albus, and I know you are only trying to help, I do believe that between Black and myself, Harry will be fine. The main reason I came up here is to tell you that I am taking Harry into Diagon Alley so he can meet Granger and Weasley. He needs to be around his friends." If Severus knew Albus, he wouldn't be at all happy about this…

"I think perhaps we should send Minerva to get his things in Diagon Alley, Severus. Harry is in no condition to be going anywhere. I know you are trying to stimulate him by getting him out, but is that wise? You don't think it could do him more harm than good?"

… and he hadn't. Truth be told, neither was Severus. He didn't think Harry was ready to confront others yet, especially his friends, who would bombard him with asinine questions, but they didn't exactly have time on their side, did they? "Albus, you know as well as I do that in two days Harry will be expected to act as if Draco's death was of no significance whatsoever to him. Albus, he is non-responsive half the time and distracted the other half. I've got to get him out of here and around his friends. He mightn't like it one bit, but at least he will have to talk around them. He is depressed, yes, but if we can get him talking and involved again, then perhaps it will help him. You must know that I would not be allowing him to go if I thought it would harm him in any way."

Albus wanted to believe that; he knew Severus's heart was in the right place, but he worried for both his students. "You are endangering Harry and yourself needlessly, Severus; Minerva should be getting Harry's school supplies. What makes you think Voldemort will not try to get you and Harry today?"

Ah yes, so this was the real reason… it wasn't Harry's health Albus was worried about. "There is nothing stopping him, Albus, if that is his objective; but I know him, and he will not act today because he knows we expect him to. Nonetheless, I have taken every precaution to ensure Harry's safety. You know I will not let any harm come his way. Harry needs to get out today. I know his needs, Albus. Please trust me on this."

The look in those black as coal eyes reminded Albus that there was a small boy behind that adult façade. "Yes, Severus, I do trust you and am well aware of your feelings for Harry; I am aware he could not be in better hands. My only concern about today is for you and Harry, you both are very special to me."

Severus inclined his head towards the Headmaster in acknowledgment. Albus was very special to him as well, and no matter how exasperating he could be at times, he was always going to be the one who believed in Severus when no one else did – that meant more to Severus than Albus would ever know. "If that is all, Albus, I need to go see to Harry. He and I have two days to get him adjusted to how things will be once classes begin. I despise what I have to make him do, Albus, but it is the only way."

Albus removed his spectacles and cleaned them off with his robe. "He will get through this with your help, Severus."

Severus nodded his head then left the Headmaster's office, his thoughts running rampant with worries about Harry. A week earlier Severus had been concerned about how Harry would react once classes began, but now with Draco's death, on top of everything else, Harry was more fragile than ever, and Severus worried how much more he could take. In the two days since Draco's death, Harry had gone from being upset, to being in an almost catatonic state. He had spent a night in hospital wing but then the following day, for obvious reasons, Madam Pomfrey had suggested Harry remain with Severus. Severus had held Harry during the night as he cried, and had rocked with him during the day as the young wizard slept. Harry had suffered a panic attack the night after Draco's death, in the hospital wing, when Severus had turned out the lights, and had been unable to speak. He had begun shaking violently and hyperventilating as he screamed for the lights to be turned on.

From then on, Harry was never left alone or in darkness.

Salazar, the familiar that had belonged to Draco, tried talking to Harry, and had been able to elicit small bouts of communication from him, although what they spoke about, Severus would never know. The snake remained coiled around Harry's arm, and Harry was as protective of him as he was of Severus.

The one time Severus had suggested Harry allow the snake to roam around the room free, Harry nearly had a fit at the thought of not having Salazar with him. It was then that Severus knew Harry wasn't the Harry he had come to love, but he loved the new Harry all the same and would love him no matter if _his Harry_ returned or not.

Lucius had come to lunch with Severus and Harry the previous day, but not even his presence had been enough to cause Harry to talk. Severus remembered how difficult it had been for Lucius to see Harry so affected by his son's death:

_As the three of them sat around the table, Harry stared at his plate, but made no move to eat anything._

_"Come on, Harry, You need to eat something." Harry ate a few bites before pushing his plate aside and looking sadly at Severus._

_"Severus, perhaps I should go and give you and Harry some time alone. We can talk some other time."_

_Severus nodded. "Yes, that would probably be best." Severus and Lucius both stood and walked to the door. Just as Lucius was about to leave, they heard Harry hissing, and turned around to see him talking to Salazar. Both men noticed how animated Harry had become._

_"He doesn't blame you."_

_Severus went over to Harry and asked what he meant by that statement. _

_"Salazar just told me to say that to Mr Malfoy."_

_Severus knelt before Harry and took his hands in his. "Did he say anything else, Harry?"_

_The snake began hissing again:  
_  
_"Tell him hisss little dragon isss sssafe_

_"Tell him Little Dragon knew his father tried to sssave him._

_"Tell him Little Dragon is at peacccce now."_

_"Do you ssspeak with him, Ssssalazar? Can you hear Draco?"_

_"You are my masssster now, Little Prongsss, but there have been othersss; I am connected with all of them. I can feel Draco, yes, but cannot ssspeak to him any longer. Asssk Little Sssnake, he will tell you what you need to know."_

_Harry had heard "Little Snake" mentioned before and then remembered it was the password to Severus's rooms. Harry looked at Severus. "Salazar says that he will always be connected to Draco and all of his former masters, and that I should ask you about that."_

_Severus nodded his head in affirmation of Harry's statement. "Yes, before I gave Salazar to Draco, he was mine, and therefore he remains connected to me as well as Draco. When I received him, I was bound to him, and then when I gave him to Draco, I bound them, and soon I will bind the two of you, Harry. Usually the bearer of the familiar would do the bonding, but it is imperative you have full trust in that person, and as of yet, I doubt you have that with Lucius, so I will do the bonding if that is okay with you."_

_Harry nodded then proceeded to tell Lucius what all Salazar had told him._

_After Harry finished relaying everything to Draco's father, the elder Malfoy left, but not before thanking Harry for telling him everything he had._

_After Lucius had gone, Harry came up behind Severus and leaned against him. "Will you bind me to Salazar now, Sev?"_

_"Yes, Harry. But don't do this thinking you will be able to speak with Draco, I am afraid it does not work that way, Harry."_

_"I don't know why, Sev, but I've just gotta try. Something in me is telling me to try."_

_Severus bound the two together, but as he had feared, Harry quickly became distressed when nothing happened. The lack of Harry being able to feel anything from trying to get in contact with Draco seemed to send Harry back into his former state, where he remained silent and unresponsive._

Returning to the present, Severus entered Harry's sitting room and found the young man lying on the sofa in the fetal position, facing away from him.

"...Harry, Ron and Hermione will want to see you and if you do not show up, you know they will worry." Severus sat down beside Harry and pulled the younger man into his lap.

Harry looked at Severus with blood-shot eyes and shook his head. "Don't wanna go, Sev, please don't make me."

"Harry. I don't want you going out there anymore than you want to go out there. I hate that once school begins, your friends will all probably not lose any sleep over Draco's death and I hate that today Mr Weasley will probably be gloating about it. Seeing you this upset is tearing me apart. It frightens me to think about what you are being asked to do. I don't think anyone realises your well-being will be compromised. I want to protect you, yet in two days, I will be expected to look in your eyes and prove my hatred towards you. Dear Merlin, how much more can you handle before it is all too much, Harry? I wish nothing more than to protect you love, but unfortunately, we cannot remain in our perfect utopia forever You will have to face your friends eventually, and whether it is today or Friday, it will be difficult for you, no doubt. At least today I will be there with you. I think seeing your friends will be therapeutic for you. You are showing all the signs of depression, and I do not wish to see you slip any further; I have suffered from depression for much of my life and it is not something to take lightly. It can consume your life if you allow it. We will all help you, Harry, but only your friends will be able to cheer you up. Please allow yourself some fun; you and I both know there will be dark days ahead. I only wish I could shield you from those, love."

Harry looked at Severus and allowed a barely visible smile to escape his formerly emotionless face. He could do this, or he would try, anyway. "I'll be fine with Ron and Hermione. Like you, I have to play a part in this, and like you, I will not allow my personal feelings to get in the way. And I'll be fine when lessons begin."

Severus hoped so. "You will have to be my most hated student in public, but in the privacy of our rooms, you cannot allow that facade to remain. It will be difficult, but we have to keep Harry and Sev alive as we pretend to be Mr Potter and the greasy git Potions master, Professor Snape. I will not allow you to leave me, Harry."

"Severus, I would never leave you, why are you so worried about that?"

"Because, Harry... that is how I lost one of the best friends I ever had. I lost myself to the role I was playing and pushed him away until he gave up on me... and before you ask, no, it was not Lucius."

"Who was it?"

"We need to go, Harry... your friends will be worried if we are late."

"Sev, you can't just leave it at that. If you are so worried that I will push you away, I want to know who you pushed away. And also, Severus, just because you did something, doesn't mean I will do the same. Please tell me, Severus."

"Fine. It was Lupin."

It probably should have been more of a shock, but it really wasn't. Harry knew the two had been more similar than most people probably thought. "How did you and Professor Lupin become such good friends?"

"After we left Hogwarts, Lupin was recruited by the Ministry to be in the Order. When I began spying, he befriended me. Albus knew we had similar interests, and thought both of us could use a friend, and he was right, as always. Initially, I avoided Remus, but with his persistence, eventually we did become friends. When Voldemort began increasing his attacks, I began to withdraw from everyone, Remus most of all. If they knew what I was being asked to do on a daily basis, they would run from me as quickly as they could. Instead of allowing that to happen, I was the one who ran away. I turned on Lupin: told him we had nothing in common, but he knew all along the truth as to why I was pushing him away. He continued trying to be friends with me but eventually gave up and left me alone. I hated myself for what I did to him then, and still do; he genuinely accepted me for who I was, Harry, and I scoffed at his offer of friendship."

Wow. That was a lot to digest. Harry found himself sitting up, and he felt himself becoming emotionally stronger with each second. It was odd, but he guessed that he was now more worried about someone else than about himself. "Professor Lupin was one of the nicest people I have ever known, Severus; I wish the two of you had remained friends and I wish you could have known him as I did. I won't push you away, Severus; our relationship is not some up in the air thing. I would like to think there is a commitment there on both of our parts to make you and me work, and judging from this past month, that should not be difficult to do."

"I am quite committed to you, Harry. Again, I was only doubting your willingness to be with _me_ for the rest of your life."

Harry felt himself becoming a bit stronger. How was it that Severus could be so dense? "For the umpteenth time, Severus, I LOVE YOU, you greasy old bat! Do you understand? Nothing, and I mean nothing will keep us apart...**Nothing**. Your love is what will keep me sane this year, and your love is what will keep me from pushing you away. Can I ask you a question about Professor Lupin?"

So much for attention spans – Harry's had never been that good. "You are going to ask regardless, so go on then."

"Were you in love with him?"

"First of all, where did that come from? Secondly, no, I have loved no one else but you."

"It's just... the way you acted, Severus; your body language. You just seemed different when you started talking about ending your friendship with Professor Lupin; I could hear sadness in your voice. Was he in love with you, then?"

Severus, shocked at Harry's perceptiveness, allowed his expression to give his answer, then he growled. Harry grinned. Severus was becoming frustrated, but he knew Harry wouldn't let this go, and as far as secrets and unspoken things went, this one wasn't that important. Harry wouldn't be upset if he heard about this, and Harry wouldn't hate him for not telling him sooner. "Oh good Merlin, Harry... what do you want me to say, that he was, and I ran him off because he scared me? YES – he was in love with me, although he never told me." Severus's voice sounded mad, but his facial expressions revealed his true feelings of sorrow.

"I'm sorry, Severus. He told me he once loved someone, but it had been an unrequited love. He also told me that this person was the only one, besides the Marauders, who treated him with any respect. I could see the hurt in his eyes when he was speaking to me about you, although of course I had no clue who it was at the time."

"Yes, Harry. I am sure you saw much sadness in his eyes; Remus was never one to hide his emotions. As I said earlier, I did not love Remus, but it scared me to think he loved me. He was so inherently good that I was afraid of wanting to love him. I wanted to live in his world and be with someone such as him, but I did not deserve such a reward as that. As with Lucius, I was lonely and knew my need for acceptance could be Remus's downfall if I let myself become involved with him. Instead of ruining such a wonderful young man's future, I did the only thing I could: I ran. Voldemort was and is the excuse I still use when trying to justify my actions, but it was always about Remus deserving better than me."

How could anyone ever think so lowly of themselves? Harry was appalled, and again found himself feeling stronger than he had earlier. "You were wrong to think so lowly of yourself, Severus. Remus was a wonderful judge of character and would have never allowed himself to become attached to you unless he knew you were honest... but enough of this for now – we should get going, or else I am going to have some major explaining to do to Ron and Hermione." Harry grinned and could see the relief in Severus's face, which made Harry feel a bit stronger.

He had sensed Severus's uneasiness and felt badly for bringing the subject up so he decided to change the direction of the conversation.

Gathering his cloak and supply list, he and Severus departed for the Apparition point on the edge of the forbidden forest. Walking outside of Hogwarts, Harry couldn't help but smile. In two days this fantasy world that he and Severus had been living would come to an abrupt end. That fact saddened him greatly, but the thought that their hatred and mean looks that they would have to share in public would all be an act, and he would have his Severus in the privacy of their rooms, made him grin. "Severus, what will I tell everyone about Salazar?"

"Hmmm...that is something I haven't considered, but there has to be a something everyone will believe." It took a few minutes, but then he thought he had a plausible explanation. He began to speak, then stopped and put out his arm to stop Harry from walking into a tree limb, and let out a nervous laugh. Harry was forever running into things; he needed to watch where he was going or he was going to end up hurt. "Everyone knows you are a Parselmouth, Harry," Severus began again as Harry looked at him and smiled, "so tell them you bought it this summer after your relatives were killed, at the request of Professor McGonagall. That is a believable story, I think, and a much safer one than the reality of the situation. And, Harry... no matter what... you must never repeat your familiar's name; you can imagine what people would begin to think."

"All I have to do is remember second year to know what they would think. Don't worry, Severus, I'll call him... Sapiens, how does that sound?"

"Very wise, indeed."

Harry grinned at his too-smart-for-his-own-good Severus, then hissed something to Sapiens and looked up at Severus. "Okay, Salazar will answer to only Sapiens from now on and nothing else, not even his former name." Harry made a show of stepping over the limb that was on the ground before them and smirked as he shook his head. "See? I do look where I'm going."

_This time_. "Now do try to do so when I'm not around; we wouldn't want you falling into any traps." It was meant to have double meaning and Severus hoped Harry took it as such. "You do know that even with your friends, Ron and Hermione, you cannot allow yourself to slip up; no one can know you are in possession of a snake that once belonged to Draco Malfoy. Voldemort is more than likely highly interested in you now, but if he were to hear that you had come to be Salazar's new master... well, it is a safe assumption that your life would be in immediate danger. Voldemort knows the snake has certain abilities as well as the ones that are always possessed by its master. He will use what he knows to get his hands on you just as he did with Draco."

"Are you saying that Sapiens is linked to _him_?"

"Oh yes...in much the same way your scar links you to _him. _The difference being Sapiens is connected to Voldemort at all times unless you disable the connection, but Voldemort can only see the snake when you want him to. For Draco, this was used to prove his loyalty to the Dark Lord. To activate the link between Sapiens and Voldemort, you need only say Voldemort. Harry, that is why I told you that it is critical that you never speak his name aloud, unless there is some reason you want to open the link between Voldemort and Sapiens. Until recently, my Dark Mark worked in much the same way. I concocted a potion to block Voldemort's mind last year, but it is doubtful it would work with another living creature being the catalyst for the link."

"I understand." Harry really had no idea what Severus was talking about, but he didn't need to.

Severus stopped, turned towards Harry, and took the cloak that the young wizard had been carrying, and slipped it around his shoulders before clasping it. "I love you, Harry. We will get though this." Severus pressed his lips against Harry's for a quick kiss, then they Disapparated to The Leaky Cauldron, which was almost completely empty as it was still early.

Severus looked at Harry and wanted to turn around with him and return to Hogwarts where they wouldn't have to face what today would surely bring, but he knew the importance of Harry needing to be around his friends, even if Harry was not so sure about that. He squeezed the smaller hand in his and nodded with a reassuring smile before letting go, and then the two of them entered Diagon Alley.

Harry had sent Ron and Hermione owls telling them to meet him at nine o'clock; he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. He'd been so excited not even three days ago: He had been missing his friends terribly and couldn't wait to see them again. Now, however, he wasn't sure if he would be able to make it through the day having to pretend everything was fine. He felt much better since he and Severus had talked, but he also knew that it was a temporary fix; all it would take was one bad thought or word to send him back to where he had come from only minutes earlier. Harry hated it, but it was what it was. He only hoped that Ron would keep his sarcasm to a minimum – that would go a long way in assuring Harry's continued well-being.

Neither Hermione nor Ron had known that Draco was working against Voldemort, and both of them, especially Ron, resented Draco a great deal... with good reason, but that was not going to make today go any smoother, and that worried Harry, and he knew it worried Severus even more. But even with all of these potential risks, Harry knew that Severus was right: he couldn't hide forever.

Harry heard his name and grinned when he saw Hermione's and Ron's smiling faces. He'd already informed them that _Snape_ would be accompanying him. Ron, of course felt sorry for him, but, Hermione, ever the pragmatist, said it was much safer for Harry to be accompanied by Professor Snape than anyone else. "Who would dare try to get Harry with such a menacing figure as Snape towering above them?" she had said.

Severus had already replaced his carefree look, reserved for Harry alone, with his more readily identifiable scowl. "Potter, we best get your money. We are on a time constraint."

"Yes, sir." Both Ron and Hermione had already got their money, so they told Harry they'd wait for him.

Severus began his assent up the steps, black robes billowing out in all directions. "Come on, Potter, we don't have all day."

"I'm coming."

Severus glanced back at Harry who was looking apologetically at his two friends, and cleared his throat. "Now, Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Severus thought he heard greasy bat but wasn't sure. "Potter, do you make it a habit to talk to yourself?"

Harry glared at Severus. "Only when I have something to say."

"That cheek of yours will be your ruin, stupid boy. I suggest you watch your mouth with your elders from now on."

"Yes, sir."

"Do come along, I have supplies to purchase and do not wish to be here any longer than is absolutely necessary."

Hermione witnessed this contentious exchange and smiled.

_Well, Harry and Professor Snape's truce seems to be over. _Of course, there was every possibility the two currently bickering wizards were still on good terms; she knew that in public Professor Snape had a role to play, and couldn't act in any other fashion.

Thirty minutes later, Severus and Harry departed Gringotts with enough money to last them a long while.

Hermione met Harry at the bottom of the steps. "Ron's mum wants to know if we can meet her for lunch in The Leaky Cauldron at One?"

Harry turned to Severus and raised his eyebrows. "Does that fit in with your schedule, Professor?"

"Oddly enough, Potter, it does. I shall use that time to purchase my potions and other necessities. I will accompany you to meet Mrs Weasley. Being your chaperone was not my idea, but as you are my responsibility, I will see you safely returned to Dumbledore; It would not do to have his treasured _Golden Boy_ turn up missing, now would it?"

Harry ignored that comment.

It was awkward having Severus along while Harry visited with his friends. Harry was glad he was there and felt much safer knowing his lover was protecting him, but he could see the hateful looks that Ron aimed towards Severus and it was driving Harry mad.

Over the next few hours, the three students purchased their supplies and a few other items that caught their fancy. Severus remained silently in the background, rolling his eyes at the juvenile discussions the Weasley boy insisted on initiating. Severus thanked Merlin that his Harry was an astute and knowledgeable conversationalist.

"...So Harry, are you going to be accompanied everywhere by _him_?" Ron turned his head jerkily towards Snape.

"I hope not. Since Malfoy was killed, everyone's been watching me so closely; they think I'm being targeted as well."

"I heard Dad saying Malfoy really was working with us, but I don't believe that for a second," Ron said as he rolled his eyes. "Ferret boy was just like his dad: born to be bad. I still can't believe Dad allowed him and his father to sit in that meeting when Professor Dumbledore told us about the heirs to _you know who_."

"Ronald Weasley, how can you say that? Draco had changed; if you would have been paying attention you would have seen it yourself, and you know very well that your father, as well as Professor Dumbledore, would never have allowed The Malfoy's to be present at that meeting if their loyalty was not a certainty," was Hermione's immediate acerbic response.

"Come on, Hermione, you heard him at the end of term. You heard his rant about ridding the world of _Mudbloods_. How does that fit in with his sudden change as you seem to think he had?"

"Honestly, Ron, are you really as thick as that? Did it ever occur to you that what he said could have been an act?"

"Nope, can't say it did. That scum was up to no good, and if you ask me, he got what he deserved. What was it they said? Oh yeah... he was found in a field, all bloody; about time he got his, I'd say."

Harry was walking beside Hermione as Ron was ranting, and began shaking as Ron's words continued to become harsher. "Stop it, Ron, just shut up!" Harry turned to face Ron and could feel his face burning. "How can you stand there and say he deserved it? Merlin, Ron, no matter what his beliefs, he was still a human, and no one deserves to be left in a field to die."

"Harry's right, Ron, even Draco deserved a better fate than what he got."

Harry glanced at Severus, who looked ready to strangle Ron, and mouthed, "Take me home, please?"

"Mr Potter, a word."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yes, sir. Guys go ahead; I'll be there as soon as my _lecture _is over." Both Ron and Hermione looked sympathetically at Harry before entering The Leaky Cauldron.

Severus took Harry by the arm and led him to the deserted alleyway behind The Leaky Cauldron. "Harry, I know it is difficult, but you have got to watch what you say about Draco. I do not want you upsetting yourself over what Ron says: he speaks without thinking, and even when he thinks that does not guarantee anything intelligent will come out of his mouth. Harry, have lunch with the Weasleys and Miss Granger while I go purchase the few supplies I need, then I promise to take you home. A couple of hours is all I ask, Harry."

"I don't want you to leave me, Sev." Harry felt tears prickling at his eyes.

"Harry, please. I will be fine and so will you. Please trust me; just a while longer and we will be back home." Harry nodded as the two made their way into The Leaky Cauldron.

Harry heard his name being shouted, so he and Severus made their way to the table where Mrs Weasley, Ginny, Ron and Hermione were seated. "Good afternoon, Mrs Weasley. Please make sure Mr Potter does not leave your sight."

Molly did not need to be told; she knew that all of her charges were in need of constant supervision. "He will be perfectly safe with me, Professor Snape."

"Very well then. I will meet you back here at three, Mr Potter. Do not leave Mrs Weasley, for any reason."

"Yes, sir."

Severus swept outside and made his way to the Apothecary, where he purchased several phials of bicorn hair. After leaving there, he entered The Owl Emporium, which also housed many other unusual animals. After conferring with the storeowner, and searching the storeroom for half an hour, Severus left with his purchase. He couldn't wait to see the grin on Harry's face when he discovered what it was.

He completed his shopping early and decided to enter one of the bookstores to see if the latest edition of Moste_ Potant Potions _had come out. As he was being waited on, he heard a piercing scream fill his mind and the air. He bolted out of the doors and ran as quickly as he could to The Leaky Cauldron, where he found Harry clutching his head and whimpering, and the other inhabitants of the room staring at him, terrified.

Severus placed his hand on Harry's forehead and could feel the heat radiating from Harry's scar.

_"It was Draco's father."_

_"Are you sure, Harry?"_

_"Quite."_

_"Did you see him?"_

_"Yes."_

"We must return you to Hogwarts, Mr Potter. Dumbledore will no doubt want to hear what happened from you and not from _all of these nosey onlookers_," Severus said, his voice loud enough for the others to hear. His traveling, piercing eyes were enough to send the gathering crowd back to their previous endeavors.

"Yes, sir. Sorry guys, but the Headmaster is overly protective."

"Mr Potter, you manage to attract trouble like a magnet. Dumbledore will go to any lengths to ensure his 'Golden Boy' is all right." Severus scowled.

"Bye, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mrs Weasley; thank you for lunch," replied Harry, looking upset. Well, he was upset, and the longer they had to continue this farce, the more upset he would become.

Harry and Severus Flooed to Harry's sitting room, and immediately after exiting the fireplace, Harry collapsed on the floor and grabbed his head. "They have Draco's father, Sev."

Harry's head was throbbing; the pain was much worse than he could ever recall it being. He was sure he was close to passing out. He could hear Severus talking, but whether it was to him or someone else, he couldn't be sure.

"Harry, love, look: it's Lucius Malfoy, and he is fine." Harry turned his head until he saw the head with long blond hair bobbing in the fireplace. "Don't let them get him, Sev. I saw them; they were all cursing him and he wasn't moving."

Lucius stepped out of the fireplace. "Look at me, Harry. I am okay; no one has me."

"I saw them, Mr Malfoy; they had you. They are going to come and get you, I know it."

Severus picked up Harry off the floor and motioned Lucius to follow him. "When were you planning on moving in to Hogwarts, Lucius? I thought by today you would have been all settled."

"I told Dumbledore tomorrow would be better for me. My meeting with the Headmaster yesterday morning necessitated me to make certain preparations which I have yet to complete."

"You can't leave; they'll get you, I know they will," Harry interjected.

Severus entered his sitting room and went directly to his bedroom where he gently placed Harry on the bed. "Can you tell me exactly what you saw, Harry?"

Harry nodded and his face took on a dark look. "I heard someone yelling traitor, then someone else said something about did you think you could really prepare them for what they needed to know. Then they all laughed."

Severus looked at Lucius. "So I guess you told him yes?" Lucius nodded. "Well, this had to be a vision that Harry had, as this is not public knowledge yet."

Harry looked between the two men and suddenly the vision as well as the tiny amount of bitterness that Harry had heard in Severus's voice were beginning to make sense. "You're gonna be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?"


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Lucius opened his mouth, a look of surprise on his face as he stared at Harry, completely flummoxed. How had the boy done that? How had he known that he'd be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts? Lucius looked at Severus, hoping for some help, but only received a smirk and barely discernible grunt, probably meant to be humorous, but Lucius didn't much appreciate the gestures. Admitting defeat, he looked back at Harry, certain that he would never understand the ways of bonds. His great grandfather on his father's side had been under the influence of a bond and Lucius recalled his father telling him stories of how the old man had seemed almost otherworldly. That was exactly how Lucius felt at the moment, that Harry and Severus seemed very otherworldly. "Yes, I will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Instructor," he answered, somewhat distractedly.

Harry could see how surprised Lucius was, and by the looks on Severus's face, he was the same. Harry shook his head and smirked, but then he shut his eyes and took in a deep breath as pain lanced through his body: couldn't he get through one day without Voldemort ruining it for him? Ha, that was a stupid question – Harry knew that day would only come the day that the evil, ghastly creature was killed… for real. Opening his eyes once the pain abated, Harry shook his head when Severus made to reach for him. He would be fine. Refocusing his attention on Lucius Malfoy, Harry wanted to laugh at the completely gob-smacked look on his face. Didn't he and Severus know by now that Dumbledore liked to give people second chances? Harry had considered this inevitability as soon as he'd seen Lucius and Draco at the meeting where they found out about the heirs, and as it had done then, it now did a number on his nerves. He felt dread course through his body, but as odd as it seemed, it wasn't dread of having Lucius Malfoy teaching: it was dread of what would happen if Draco's dad did teach. Harry's visions seemed to be getting longer and, in his most recent one, Lucius had been placed under increasingly dangerous curses. Something was about to happen.

It was somewhat disconcerting: these feelings of concern towards Lucius Malfoy, and Harry wasn't sure how he could suddenly care about this man's wellbeing after all he had done, yet he did. He tried to think of something to say, but was coming up blank. What should he say? What was there to say? He knew he had to look a sight: his clothes sticking to his perspiration-laden body, and his hands still trembling, oh and he was sure his face looked all kinds of awful, "Er, other than Severus, I guess you're the most qualified person to teach us, but why? Won't you be a target for all the students of Death Eaters? It seems risky on your part, but then again, Professor Dumbledore always has his reasons for doing things, even if no one can understand them." Harry intended on continuing but stopped when Severus mouthed for him to slow down. Harry felt as if he had been rebuffed, but he'd probably been babbling. He wasn't so sure he had even made any sense. He knew he was a bit on the disoriented side as it was, and this news hadn't helped. He tried to clear his mind, which was busy going over what all had happened over the past few days –everything was beginning to blur – he needed sleep.

Masking emotions had never been one of the young Potter's attributes, and that was one of the things that could end up costing him his life. Lucius sighed as he realized that he would need to work with the boy on this once term began, but for now he needed to calm Harry's nerves. The boy really had been through enough to drive a grown man mad, and Lucius was well aware that he had played a major role in bringing Harry to the point he was at now. "You may not believe me, Harry, but I didn't want to take this job; I would rather do just about anything else than teach here, but Professor Dumbledore made me an offer I couldn't refuse: he is giving me a safe haven and he is also placing me in a position where I will be able to spy on the students to see what is going on. It is not at all what I deserve, but this is my opportunity to atone for some of my past wrongs – I feel it is not something I can refuse."

A look towards Severus made Harry shiver: Lucius's reasoning for returning to teach was eerily similar to the reason Severus had been hired all those years ago. Harry pulled up the covers and tried to get warm, then, in the span of a few seconds, everything from the day came crashing down on him and he wanted to be alone. Couldn't Lucius just leave and let him get some sleep? Harry looked at Severus and received a small smile: it helped, but not very much. He looked back at Lucius. "It shouldn't matter to me what you do with your life, or how you live it, Mr Malfoy, but I can't get that vision I had of you being cursed out of my head. I know you're in danger, and I don't wish to see anything further happen to you; there has been enough loss already."

Who knew Harry would care? Not that Lucius didn't appreciate the concern, because he did, but he felt entirely uncomfortable with this situation and needed to get Harry to stop being so… _Harry_. He would no doubt be reproached for his methods later, but he needed to get Harry out of his current state of worry and he needed to cease Harry's misplaced concern. He'd had to do the same with his son enough times recently to understand that sometimes you just had to tell it as it was, and damn the consequences. "I appreciate your concern, Mr Potter, truly, I do; however, this is going to happen – I _am_ the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. This should not be any of your worry or concern." Lucius glared at the boy and hoped he had succeeded in quelling Harry's concern.

Harry's face fell as he looked at Severus and saw him nodding."

Mr Malfoy is correct, Harry. This is nothing you need to worry yourself about."

Harry turned back towards Draco's father, then looked at Severus. So neither of them cared what he thought. It was expected from Lucius Malfoy, but not from Severus. Harry looked down at his hands, which were shaking worse than before – they did that a lot these days. He continued to survey his hands as he began to speak. "No, I suppose not... I suppose my seeing Mr Malfoy cursed unconscious at the hands of Death Eaters shouldn't bother me; I suppose I should just act as if it never happened." Harry lifted his head and shook it as he stared at Lucius. His body began to shake.

Lucius noticed that Harry's countenance had changed drastically, so he looked at Severus and knew immediately that they hadn't chosen their words very well: Severus was glaring at him. Lucius glared back. Severus had agreed with him, hadn't he? Admitting fault and defeat, again, he cautiously walked over to Harry's side and sat down in a chair that was near the bed. "Harry, perhaps Severus and I were wrong to say it was none of your concern, but please do not think I will be left alone for one minute. You and Severus are not the only two whose movements have been restricted at Hogwarts. Once I have moved in, there will be no more privacy for me, yet I am thankful for the protection; it is not anything I ever expected, being who I am. Believe me when I say that I am safe. No one will be taking me anywhere; I would like to see them try." Lucius stood up and straightened his robes. "I must be going. Thank you, Harry, for warning me about the vision. I will be okay."

Harry returned his gaze to his hands; he refused to look at either Lucius or Severus, but he nodded even though he was still unconvinced. As Severus led Lucius out of the bedroom and then the sitting room, Harry curled up and began rocking back and forth.

_"You're a little freak, just like your parents were."_

_"You're a wizard, Harry."_

_"I'm your godfather, Harry."_

_"Kill the spare."_

_"I think I love him."_

_"I'm so sorry, Harry... Sirius and Remus were two of the aurors killed."  
_  
_"Hermione's parents were killed, Harry."_

_"Please don't... please... please don't do this to me..."  
_  
_"Sirius is alive, Harry."  
_  
_"Voldemort made Remus take Polyjuice Potion; it was he who died, not Voldemort."_

_"Father... I love you...."_

"**Stop... just stop, please... I can't take it, leave me alone....**"

When Severus returned from walking Lucius out, he heard Harry's cries, and ran to the bedroom. "Harry!" Severus sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around the shivering and now whimpering Harry, and pulled him into his lap. "Shhh. I'm here." Severus sat with Harry and rocked him. Pulling back so he could see Harry's face, Severus took his thumbs and wiped away the remaining tears. Harry was seventeen years old, but he seemed so much younger. It wasn't difficult for Severus to think back to another time that he comforted someone like this. That little boy had had Severus's heart. Severus grinned as two tears fell from his own eyes. The more things changed… "Can you tell me what just happened? What upset you so, Harry?"

Harry sniffed and shook his head, angry that he had again lost control of his emotions. "All these memories... playing in my head, Sev. Hearing that Sirius was dead, hearing that we killed Remus, hearing that Hermione's parents were killed... Draco calling out to his father... just so many memories. They keep running through my mind; the major events of my life are replaying non-stop and I can't make them go away. I can't stop hearing the screaming and crying. Make them go away, Sev, please." Harry had never felt like this, as if he were going mad. Perhaps he was. "I can't take this anymore, Severus. When Cedric died, everyone told me it wasn't my fault. When I thought Sirius was dead, everyone told me he was doing what he had chosen to do, and I shouldn't think it my fault. Then, when we killed Remus, everyone said we couldn't have known it wasn't V— _you-know-who _(Harryhad very nearly said Voldemort's name, which would have been bad if Severus was correct about his new familiar having a connection with him_) _standing before us_,_ so again it wasn't our fault. Then Draco was killed and Ron said he deserved it. Everyone is trying to justify their deaths, Sev, but how can they? Not one of them deserved to die; it wasn't time for them to go yet. Severus, I just can't take it anymore. It's too much. I'm not strong enough for this. I just want the pain to go away. I just want _him _to leave me alone. I just want it all to go away, Severus." And Harry knew that he sounded like a child. And Harry didn't care.

Severus felt himself go rigid_. No... no... it's too close... my words... "_Harry, you're scaring me... look at me." Harry opened his eyes, allowing Severus to watch as a haunted look replaced the usually vibrant shimmering emerald eyes that Severus loved so much. "Harry, we will get through this, I promise. You will not leave me. I will not allow you to do that." Severus began shaking and could feel the tears threatening to fall. If Harry ever did anything…

"What's the difference, Severus?" I will end up the same whether by my hand or _his_. I'm just tired, Sev... so tired." And he was. But he knew that he would never do anything. He'd suffer a million deaths at Voldemort's hands rather than put Severus through any more sorrow. But this was so hard and he found it almost unbearable to face. He tried to relax as Severus rocked him back and forth, but it only upset him further. He began to cry, tears spilled onto his shirt and he tried to quell others from falling but to no avail.

He'd had more than his share of scary moments, but this was the most frightening for Severus, by far. There was no way Harry could do this, but he could, and Severus knew that. "Merlin, Harry, I have waited thirty-seven years for you and now that I have found you a— I refuse to let you leave me. Yes, it is selfish, but Harry... I love you. **I love you more than anything.** Do you know what it would do to me if anything happened to you? No... I refuse to even think about that... you will be fine, Harry... you will be fine."

Harry looked up into Severus's watering eyes, and in an emotionless voice, he spoke quietly. "It's not you, Sev, that sees what _he_ does to me, it's not you who saw Draco being slowly killed, it is not you that wakes up screaming because of something _he_ has done. It hurts, Sev... it just hurts so much."

Yes, that much, Severus did understand. "You're right, Harry. I haven't been a witness to most of your experiences; I have, however, been a participant in similar experiences more times than I care to remember. Please don't tell me about wanting it to end. If you only knew..." Severus was angry: He would not allow Harry to do this, and he would not allow himself to dwell on what he almost did all those years ago.

It was this, which finally got Harry's attention. He wasn't daft – he knew what Severus was referring to. "Knew what, Severus?" Not that he expected an answer; there were many questions he had asked that went unanswered, but he would always ask, with the hope that someday Severus would trust him enough to talk to him about these things that seemed to hurt him so deeply.

This was not at all what Severus wanted to think about, but the concern in Harry's eyes made it impossible for Severus to keep silent. He was asking a lot of Harry, so this was the least he could do – he could be honest with Harry. "I wanted to forget it all; I wanted to make it all go away, I guess I still do. To this day, I cannot shut my eyes without hearing the blood curdling screams... the incessant begging... the infinite pleading, all of this for their lives, the lives that we were expected to so callously take.

"I tried to make it stop, Harry... I tried to make it go away. I was just as much a failure at that as with everything else in my life at that time. Thank Merlin for that. Before I realised you returned my feelings, there was not a day that went by when I did not consider how much easier it would be if I weren't here... it would have been so simple to just simply go to sleep and never wake up. Then you came into my life and gave me another reason for living," Severus finished, feeling immense relief. He didn't at all wish to think about these things, but he would for Harry, who still looked unconvinced about anything. Severus sighed. "Harry, I never really wanted to die, you see, I was merely feeling sorry for myself. You have helped me to realise that I am worthy of this life that I have been given, and I intend on doing the same for you. So, you see... I do understand and can empathize with you, because I have been there. We will get through this with or without help, even if you and I have to go public with our relationship. You are far more important to me than teaching, or spying. Whatever it takes to help you get through this is what I will do. I will take you away from Hogwarts if need be and we will live our lives in solitude if we have to, but I refuse to allow you to fall any further into this deep abyss that is claiming you."

Harry felt so sad. "I just feel so alone."

"But you're not, Harry. You will never be alone."

"Okay." It really wasn't, but Harry was ready for this conversation to be over.

Severus wasn't fooled for a moment. He took Harry's face in his hands. "Listen to me. You. Are. The. Most. Important. Person. In. My. Life. I will do anything it takes to save you, Harry. I love you. I love you. I love you." If it was the last thing he did, Severus was going to get through to Harry.

Harry allowed more tears to fall as Severus held him and wiped the tears away.

Not too many minutes later, Severus heard the steady rise and fall of Harry's breathing. He wasn't far away from sleep himself, but before he could seriously consider it, he heard what sounded like someone Flooing into the sitting room, so he gently placed Harry under the covers, placed a kiss on his forehead then quietly entered the other room.

"Black. Did Albus tell you what happened?"

Sirius noticed the dark circles under Severus's eyes. "Yes, he did. How is he now?"

"Not good, not good at all. Harry all but told me he wanted to die earlier. I've tried talking to him. I've told him how I felt the same way... I just don't know what else to do, Black. He is so scared... but hell, I am scared too. I don't know if I can do this." His admitting possible defeat to Sirius Black was a sign of how desperate Severus was.

"You can and you will do this, Snape. My godson needs you; he needs all of us. I have not, and still am not, exactly a model father-figure or anything like that, but Harry is all I have, Snape. I will do whatever it takes to help him. I think you are being too harsh when you say you do not know how to help him. I know Harry, and believe me, Snape, you being there by his side talking to him is the best medicine he could possibly receive."

A nod was all that Severus could manage. "I think it might help if Harry sees you; he needs you now more than ever, Black. Please help him. I know how close the two of you are, and if anyone can make him see reason, it is you."

Sirius gave a short, curt nod. "I owe you an apology, Snape. You told me this might happen to Harry and I dismissed it, thinking he wasn't capable of such a thing."

"Black, each of us is capable of such a thing under the right circumstances. Harry has reached his breaking point and doesn't think he can cope any longer. We've got to help him."

"May I speak to him alone then?"

"He is asleep for now, but he never stays that way for long. I need to go meet with Albus; you may sit with him until he wakes then the two of you can talk. If he asks for me, Black... you better Floo the Headmaster's office, immediately. I will not have anyone upsetting him further." Black and him might be on civil speaking terms, but Severus wanted there to be no doubt who was in control here.

"If he asks for you Snape, you will be sent for, I promise. No matter my personal feelings towards you, my godson means the world to me; he is the _only_ ray of sunshine in my otherwise mundane existence. If you bring him happiness and make his life complete, which you seem to do, I'll do whatever I can to make sure you two are together forever." And those words had been the most difficult ones Sirius had spoken in over fifteen years, but they'd needed to be said.

The two former enemies shook hands and Severus left Sirius with Harry.

Just as Snape said he would, Harry woke up not fifteen minutes later. He looked over at Sirius and tried to smile. "

I should have known you'd be here. Severus knows what I need more than I do."

"He loves you, Harry, and he would do anything for you, love. He only wants you to be okay and safe."

"I guess he told you what happened earlier?"

"Yes, and he is very worried, as we all are." Sirius was careful not to look too upset, although he was furious. Didn't Harry realise there were all these people who loved him and would do anything to help him?

"I prob'ly scared him senseless... I don't know why I said it, it all just hit me: everything that's happened this summer, but not only that, everything that's happened my entire life seemed to surface all at once and it just overwhelmed me, I guess. Everyone has always thought I was so brave to have faced all that I have, but Sirius, I had no choice in the matter; I wasn't brave at all. I 've always been and still am just as scared of all of this as everyone else, but I feel like I can't be scared or show that I am because then I will let everyone down. They all expect me to be the one, Sirius, and that scares the hell out of me. I didn't ask for any of this, and as more things continue to happen and more lives are lost to that bastard, it is getting harder for me to hold it all in. I think that is what happened today. I just reached my limit and had to release everything. I just wish I hadn't done it in front of Severus – he must think I'm mental."

"No, Harry. Snape knows more than anyone else what you are going through."

"I don't want to die, Sirius. I couldn't do that to Severus or you."

"I am relieved to hear that, Harry, but hopefully you want to live for you, as well."

"I can't believe how I acted earlier. Severus must be worried sick that at any moment I will off myself."

Sirius was aware Harry had ignored his last statement, and that scared him, but if he and Severus were what Harry was living for, then for now that was going to have to be good enough. "Yeah... he was rather beside himself when we talked. That man loves you, Harry James Potter, and I can promise you one thing – if you go and do something as stupid as taking your own life, you will have also taken his because there is no doubt that he would follow you. That man has been through hell, Harry, and he wouldn't be able to sustain a loss such as yours."

That much Harry did know, and it worked both ways. If anything happened to Severus, Harry knew he would not be left behind. "Thanks for the talk; I really did need you here, Sirius; you seem to always be there for me when I need you, and you always know what to say to calm me down when no one else can."

"As far as being here goes, it was Snape who requested I come have a talk with you. This is the second time he has come to me about you. Your remark about me knowing what to say to you: you must remember, Harry, your father was one of my best friends; I knew him well, and knew his moods. You are similar to him in many ways. I can see much of your mother in you: her temperament, and her wonderful sense of duty as well as her gift of understanding of others' feelings. Your father was stoic most of the time, but he could become emotional; when he was in one of his moods, I seemed to be the only one who could get through to him. I guess that is why I know what to say to you, Harry. You remind me so much of him right now, us sitting here talking together."

It made Harry sad to sit here and talk about his father. "You would make a great dad, Sirius, heck, you basically are my dad." It was the truth and Harry didn't feel bad for saying it. He loved his parents more every day because he missed them so much, but Sirius was here and he was the one Harry counted on. Yes, now there was Severus, but there would never be another Sirius.

Sirius grinned and shook his head. "I'm your godfather, Harry, you only had one dad, and that was James, No one could ever take his place."

Harry appreciated the sentiment. "I know that, but I never knew him; you are the closest person to him I have, so I guess I kind of think of you like a son would a dad... er... is that okay?"

A bigger smile, Sirius Black had never worn. "Of course, it's okay, Harry. It means more to me than I think you will ever realise. I love you. You are my only family, and I do think of you as a father would a son. I only wish we could have had more time together when you were younger. That was the most difficult aspect of my being in Azkaban – I had no idea how you were getting on. Not a day went by that I didn't think of you. I can't imagine my life without you, Harry."

Harry felt awful because he had been so selfish. No matter how bad he felt, he owed it to the two men in his life not to do anything stupid. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Well, it's not likely that I can stop you."

"Why didn't you ever get married? I mean...you would be a great dad to some kid." Harry immediately sensed Sirius's change in demeanor and wished he could take back his question, but he couldn't.

Sirius sighed, looked at Harry, then stood up and began pacing by the bed. "Hmmm... that's not so easy to answer, Harry. It's not that I didn't want to get married, it's just... I couldn't be with the person I wanted, and then when I finally could have been... well, it just didn't work out. But with recent revelations coming to light, it was for the best. That would be one more screwed up situation that none of us needed or needs."

"I'm sorry, Sirius. Um, I really don't mean to pry, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think I know who you were in love with." Sirius raised his eyebrows. "We didn't know it was him, Sirius... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... oh Merlin, Sirius... we killed him... if I had thought..."

Sirius sat down on the bed and hugged Harry as he whispered for him to calm down. "Don't, Harry... love... look at me... there is no way you and Severus could have known. You will not berate yourself for that sick bastard's doings. Remus was killed by _him_, not you and Severus."

"That bastard has taken so much from all of us."

"That he has, Harry... that he has... and to think Snape, Me, and Malfoy have his blood running through our veins..." Sirius not only shivered, he exaggerated his movements to make the entire bed shake and wrinkled his face as if he was sniffing an unpleasant odor.

Harry smiled. "Indeed... but, I still love you and Severus… despite that."

"Oh thank you my wonderful and loving godson, Harry." Sirius mockingly bowed his head to Harry, who laughed.

"Now that is a sight I want to see more of, young man... you need to smile and have fun. I want to hear that laugh more often."

"Aye aye, sir."

"So, can I tell your beloved that all is well in Potterland? At least as far as you trying anything stupid?" Harry was seventeen years old, but he looked so vulnerable, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to protect him from life.

"Yeah, Sirius."

"When's the last time you ate?"

"I had some lunch, but that's when I had my vision about Draco's father."

"Well, then, you need some food, and I can hear my stomach rumbling, so I'll go order us something. I guess I'll order something for er... that man you love as well." Sirius winked at Harry.

"Thanks, Sirius."

Sirius was ordering supper for three when Severus entered the room. When Dobby left, Severus turned to Sirius. "How did it go, Black?"

"Rather well, Snape. We had a nice long talk, which I should mention, he did most of the talking."

"You are as close to a father as Harry has and as such, your words go a long way with him. He thinks the world of you, Black."

"As do I, him. He really is doing okay, for now. He knew almost immediately that what he'd said to you wasn't what he really felt. I will not delude myself, however; we'll probably have to have this talk again, but if I have to repeat what I said to him today every day for the rest of my life, I will, Snape."

"I know you will... Bl... Sirius. Listen, if we're going to be there for Harry, we need to be able to at least call each other by our first names. Please call me Severus."

Black wasn't sure he could do that, but for Harry he would try. "Okay."

"I have a favor to ask of you, Sirius, one which Harry has no idea I am asking."

"What is it?"

"Once classes begin, I am afraid my time will be limited. Harry and I will no doubt still be spending every moment we can together, but with my classes, as well as his, plus my duties as a professor and as head of Slytherin, I worry about leaving him to his own devices. He has his friends: Mr Weasley and Miss Granger, but I do not think that will be enough for him right now. Hermione will eventually be a great source of strength for Harry once he lets her back in, but I do not think Harry and Ron's friendship will be able to survive. The young Weasley has made too many ill-advised comments, and Harry is much too smart to surround himself with hot heads such as that for too long. I know you just moved to your rooms the other day, but I was wondering if you would consider moving in with Harry. I would feel much better knowing you were here with him, Sirius. I have been concerned about how classes and the other students will affect Harry and my relationship for quite awhile now, but now, with what he has recently gone though, it terrifies me to think of him being alone, ever. I know we can't watch his every move, but I am sure going to give it my best effort; I will not lose him."

"It's not something I have to think about. I'll do it." Severus wasn't the only one who refused to lose Harry.

"Harry thinks you hung the moon anyway, so I doubt we will have a tough time convincing him this is a good idea. Why don't you bring it up while we are eating."

Just then, Dobby appeared with three covered dishes. "Dobby is bringing Masters' Black, Potter, and Snape's supper. Is Masters be needing anything else from Dobby?"

"Thank you, Dobby, that will be all for now."

"Yes , sir, Master Snape."

**~*~**

Lucius had packed only his necessities, storing the rest of his belongings. He was not looking forward to leaving Malfoy Manor: it was his home and he had lived there since he was born, in fact, his father had been born there. It was also where Lucius could still sense his son's presence; he felt him everywhere, but nowhere was his son's presence as strong as in Draco's bedroom. That is where Lucius was currently, sitting on his son's bed, clutching his son's new Quidditch broom, not even in stores yet.

Lucius had heard that Harry received the same model from the teachers at Hogwarts just days after Draco had gotten his, and he had looked forward to seeing his son go head to head with the Gryffindor Seeker on their new brooms. All that was but a mere dream now. There would be no more Quidditch matches for the young Slytherin. Now Lucius would go to cheer on his once most hated enemy.

_They say I won't be safe here and I will be at Hogwarts, but how can I leave you, my little dragon? You are everywhere I look. There is your baby broom, your baby wand, your baby robes... this room is you, my son. Seventeen years' worth of you; how can I leave it? I wasn't even here for you when you needed those baby things, but I wish I had been. I wish a lot of things, Draco. I wish I could have been a better father, a better husband, a better man. I know I will be able to come back here to your room anytime I want and everything will be as it is now, just as you left it Draco, but there will never be my son's laughter in here again. That is why I will go to Hogwarts, my little dragon. I can't take the quiet... it's so quiet... so quiet that it is deafening._

Lucius was roused from his musings by a pop.

"Hello, Lucius."

Lucius looked up to see who had been able to break through Draco's heavily warded room. "Did Albus send you?"

"Think again."

Lucius furrowed his brows at the other occupants that had just appeared; they were all wearing Death Eater robes and masks, all except the one who was doing the talking.

"So supremely confident are we? _Oh, no one will get me... I'd like to see them try... _that was a good one, Lucius."

"But…how? I have never seen you at a meeting... no, it can't be."

"Wrong on both accounts, _Lucius._ I have been at every meeting that you have been to. You didn't think our master shared everything with his Death Eaters, now did you? If you did, then let me be the one to correct your sheer stupidity. You see, our master trusts no one. Let's just say... he took certain... shall we say, precautions? Oh yes. It was a brilliant plan, and what even makes it better is that there are several of us, so just when you think you have us all... well then... you really don't, do you?"

Lucius was almost speechless. "Obviously not. Your being here is not an invitation to dinner I take it, so would you please enlighten me as to why you are interrupting my quiet time with my son?"

"Oh don't be daft, Lucius, your son is not here – he's out back six feet under. Get a hold of yourself, man. Yes, you are quite right, I did not come to invite you for dinner: I came to kill you. We cannot let you run around free with all of our little secrets now, can we? Ah... dear, dear Lucius... it was all in your grasp: you only had to ask and it would have been yours. But, no, your sanctimonious son had to ruin it all. He batted those lush eyelashes and won your sympathy. You weren't a father to the boy for his first seventeen years, so what made you think you could start now? You know, don't even bother answering that, because, really... I don't care... I came to kill you and that is what I am going to do. Did you think we were really after your son, Lucius, that he was the one we wanted dead? Oh he was a brat, and yes his death is one less irritation we have to worry about now, but what we did to your little dragon, as you so _sweetly_ refer to him now, was our little gift to you... we wanted to show you how much we appreciated your... _loyalty_ as it were."

Lucius's face had turned beet red. He wasn't worried in the least that he could end up dead in the next few seconds, he never expected his life to end any other way. No, he was furious; how could anyone be so callous about killing someone? Lucius knew how evil the Dark Lord was, but until he had just heard this person speaking about his son, he really had been unaware of just how ludicrous it had all been. He had sold his soul to the devil for this: for some perverse ideal that his parents believed in, believed in enough to sell their son into this slavery… this death trap that had claimed his son, and now most likely him. _I'm sorry, Draco... I really am sorry, son._

"You are wondering why it is me who was sent to do this? It was my idea actually. Since you thought you could trust me, I wanted to let you know: you can trust no one, Lucius. I was going to let my _friends here _play with you for awhile, but as we are behind schedule, I will save us all some time and kill you now."

Before Lucius could make any response, a wand was directed at him, and Lucius heard words coming out of the mouth of his executioner; words he had said so many times before – Avada Kedavra. Then he saw the green light slowly making its way towards him. He wasn't scared, nor was he sad. Lucius was prepared to die; he was prepared to face whatever was waiting for him.

"I love you, Draco." Then his world went black.

**~*~**

Severus, Harry, and Sirius were finishing their supper when Harry fell to the floor, screaming and convulsing. He was rolling around, kicking and thrashing violently.

Severus fell to Harry's side and immediately began shaking him, trying to get his attention. "This is what Harry did when Draco was killed. It's Lucius... it's got to be Lucius." Severus picked up Harry and took off for the hospital wing. "Sirius, go get Albus; tell him we think Lucius is in trouble."

By the time Severus had put Harry in a bed, Madam Pomfrey already knew what had happened from the Headmaster. She poured several phials down Harry's throat and had Severus apply cold flannels over Harry's entire body; he was burning up. Harry had lost consciousness soon after falling to the floor, and his temperature was continuing to rise dangerously high.

It was about ten minutes later that the doors burst open. Sirius and the Headmaster entered, each holding one of Lucius's arms and legs. Lucius appeared dead: there was no sign of life in his body.

"We found him in Draco's bedroom. He has an extremely faint pulse, but that is the only sign of life we could find. He has no wounds, so he wasn't placed under _Cruciatus_. I don't know how he is still alive because he must have received the killing curse. Nothing else would explain his being so near death with no visible signs of any type of struggle. He should be dead by all accounts." Albus handed Lucius to Sirius as he finished talking to Poppy.

Sirius took Lucius's body and placed him on the bed that was next to the one Harry was in, and then he went to stand by his godson's side. "**Bastard, leave my godson alone!**"

Severus was the one to take Sirius aside. "I feel the same way, Sirius, but you know how much Harry needs you now. Please remain calm for him. I can't even begin to imagine what he will be like when he wakes; he is already so broken, I just don't know if he can take Lucius's death on top of everything else."

Madam Pomfrey was taking Lucius's vitals again, hoping for change, but the dour look on her face didn't look promising.

"How is he, Poppy?" asked Severus.

"Barely holding on, Severus, although I don't know how. I am sorry, but I don't give him any chance of survival. His pulse is weakening and that is the only sign of life I can find. Even if by some miracle he did survive this, he would never be the same man he was before; the internal and mental injuries he sustained by the curse would make him all but a vegetable. I know that sounds cruel, and it is, but that is what we are facing."

**~*~**

Harry awoke the following morning; he was confused because he wasn't in Severus's bed. Looking around, which was difficult because he wasn't wearing his glasses, he looked to his left and right. There were beds on either side of him, both empty. Then Harry realised where he must be. He heard shuffling in the next room and sat up in the bed.

"Oh Harry, dear, you are awake. I was so worried." Madam Pomfrey was checking his temperature, when Harry thought he saw Severus entering the room with someone else.

"Madam Pomfrey, where are my glasses?"

"Here they are, dear." Poppy placed the glasses on Harry and watched pensively as Harry saw the two other inhabitants of the room approaching his bed.

Severus sat down by Harry and kissed his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

Harry nodded his head and looked over Severus's shoulder where he saw Lucius standing against the wall; he was pale and didn't look very steady, but Harry knew he should be dead, so seeing Lucius at all was more than he could have ever hoped for.

"I saw it... but who… and how are you alive?"

Severus stood and went to help Lucius over to Harry's bed, where Severus sat him down, allowing the still very shaky wizard to lean on him.

"I don't know, Harry, I think whoever it was, Obliviated my memory before sending the curse. Since we know that Voldemort is aware of his link with you, I doubt you have any memory of who it was either."

Harry shook his head; he could see a fuzzy blob, but nothing more.

"As to how I survived, I have no idea. I woke up this morning and nearly scared poor Poppy to death."

"You sure did, Lucius. I have not had a jolt to the old heart such as that in quite a while, but, to see you sitting there talking makes it all worth it. You were all but dead when Albus and Sirius brought you here last night."

Lucius turned to Harry. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"A little shaky and my head is killing me, but I feel okay."

Severus took a phial and gave it to Harry. "You shouldn't be feeling any more pain for a while, love, but you should also sleep for a few hours now. You need your rest." Severus then looked over at the pale figure of Lucius struggling to remain upright. "As do you, Lucius. The two of you have lost a lot of strength from your ordeal and both need plenty of bed rest."

Poppy and Severus both helped Lucius to the bed beside Harry and helped him to get comfortable. Lucius was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Severus walked over to Harry's bed and placed a kiss on his lips. He was surprised when he felt Harry returning the kiss.

"Love you, Sev."

Before Severus could respond, Harry was asleep. "Love you too, Harry."


	24. Chapter 24

**Twenty-Four**

Standing against the wall, a worried Minerva watched as Harry slept, and wondered why his life seemed dominated by trials. She had faced hardship in her life, but nothing near what Harry had. She wanted to help him, and being as she was his guardian, she thought it her responsibility to see that he was doing well, or as well as he could be under the current circumstances. This being the case, she wondered if she should reassess her priorities in order to be more readily accessible to him. Perhaps if she had done the same almost twenty years earlier, then Severus Snape wouldn't be the dour, unhappy man that he was today….

If only things were that simple, and if only she could forget her familial responsibilities. Alas, such was not the case.

Minerva's summer holiday hadn't been at all relaxing this year as in summers' past: instead of enjoying her free time, she had found herself spending an inordinate amount of time with her sister, who had been acting rather odd over the past few months. Minerva would have rather not done so, but as her sister was her only remaining family, she felt that she had no choice, and really, she didn't. There were those things in life that you just did, without question, no matter your personal feelings.

Yet something had to change: Harry was struggling. He needed the gentle touch only a witch could provide. Poppy was doing as much as she could, but she was busy with all the other students as well as Harry, and it left her little time for non-matronly duties. Perhaps Molly could begin coming round more and talking to Harry, but Minerva knew that Harry would know something was going on if his best friend's mum began coming round the school.

No, the witch who helped him would have to be her.

When Minerva'd heard that she'd be Harry's guardian, she'd understood that it wouldn't be an easy thing, but she had anticipated it with great fervor: James and Lily's son was one of her favorite students, even if teachers weren't supposed to have favorites. How could she help but have a special place in her heart for him? She need only close her eyes and see his smiling little face, then his scrunched up one as he held out his hands… that little boy had deserved far better than he'd got, and he still did. To that end, Minerva would see to his continued well-being, even as it would now be from a distance, or at least not at close as she had thought not so long ago.

Instead of living with her, Harry would be living in the dungeons to be near Severus. Minerva had serious misgivings about this arrangement, but there was nothing to do but accept it: He and Severus were soul mates, and they were together, which was what bothered the conservative, set-in-her-ways, elderly Transfigurations teacher more than anything else. How could young Harry Potter and the gruff, older Severus Snape be in a relationship? An intimate one at that. Minerva knew how these things worked. There was no possible way the two weren't intimately involved. It seemed so very wrong on every level, and not even their being soul mates seemed to excuse that fact. Nonetheless, they were together and Minerva knew how good Severus was for Harry, and oh yes, she knew the reverse to be the truth as well. Her boys had found each other and were happy. Who was she to argue with what stared her in the eyes?

**~*~**

Exhausted and frustrated, unable to make the slightest bit of progress with anything, it seemed, still Severus refused to rest. He'd attempted with little success to feed Harry both lunch and supper because the weak and almost completely unresponsive Harry had been unable to feed himself, and he had tried to engage his Harry in conversation, but that, too, hadn't bore fruit.

If it hadn't been for Minerva practically begging him to let her watch Harry, who was, after all her student, house member, and charge, Severus wouldn't have left his side at all, and even then he only did so after reminding Minerva that Harry was more his than hers. As he'd shut the door to the hospital wing, Minerva had given him an encouraging smile, and he had smiled back. She knew him better than anyone, other than Albus.

As he made his way to his rooms, he wished things were as they had been all those many years ago. Life had been so much simpler then. Only, it really hadn't: at that time, he'd had to endure both physical and emotional abuse, but at least he had been able to live with his decisions. Once the abuse stopped is when the real heartache of his life began. Now he was so very tired, but he had Harry, and that made everything Severus had ever gone through worth it, even the near exhaustive state he now found himself.

Severus knew he was pushing himself beyond the breaking point and he wondered how long it would take before he could go on no longer, yet he wouldn't cease his work on the potion until it was finished. Only then would he allow himself rest – rest which he needed if he were going to help Harry properly. Dark gray circles beneath his eyes were becoming more pronounced and, more than once, he had nodded off while sitting by Harry's side. The potion, that was thankfully, almost ready, had to sit for twelve hours after it was prepared, so it would be ready for Harry the following morning. Only then would Severus rest, but he would go check on Harry before midnight and if he were needed, he would stay. As sad as the reason was, Severus cherished being needed.

Poppy Pomfrey had begged him throughout the day to get some sleep, even asking him to use the empty bed on the other side of Harry's, but Severus wouldn't. Harry had slept, but not restfully: His body would suddenly convulse and tiny whimpers could be heard escaping his throat every hour or so. Severus would climb in beside Harry at these times, rub his back, and hold Harry close to him for warmth until he calmed down.

The potion simmering on a low fire, an exhausted Severus entered the hospital wing near midnight to see that Harry was having one of these episodes. Poppy was checking Harry's vitals and prodding him with her wand. Not saying a word, Severus glanced at the bed Lucius was in and saw that he seemed to be sleeping, then climbed in the bed with Harry and wrapped his arms around his trembling Harry.

This is how he was finally able to sleep.

Poppy had only been back in her office two minutes when the alarm went off alerting her that one of her patients was in distress. Reentering the room she had left only minutes earlier, she found Lucius violently thrashing around his bed and crying out in pain. Severus and Harry remained oblivious thanks to the SilencingCharms that had been placed around Harry's bed. Poppy took a phial and helped a distressed Lucius get the liquid down his throat, and within seconds, his body relaxed and he opened his eyes, looking scared and confused.

"Where am I?"

"You are at Hogwarts, Mr Malfoy, in the hospital wing," Poppy replied, her voice not altogether pleasing, yet not angry sounding either. The same as the other staff members, she hadn't yet warmed to the idea that this once faithful follower of Voldemort could now all of a sudden be good and be allowed to teach amongst all of these vulnerable children; she wanted proof that his loyalties had changed, but she knew if any proof had been given, she'd never know about it. She did know that Albus would never place his charges in danger… on purpose, however, so that gave her some small comfort, albeit not much. That being the case, and knowing that this man, for better or worse was her patient, she would treat Lucius Malfoy with the respect each of her patients received.

Lucius could see that Poppy Pomfrey wasn't exactly pleased with the situation, and he didn't blame her. "Yes. I think I remember now." He very much wish he didn't.

Poppy began examining Lucius and was surprised that he continued to improve. She wanted to know what exactly had happened to him because the results did not match up with what she had been told. Something was amiss, but then again, with this lot that was currently in the hospital wing, there was always something amiss it seemed. She took his temperature and was pleased to see it normal. "You had us worried; you have been sleeping all day. I should have woken you hours ago, but you appeared to be resting peacefully and I wasn't willing to interrupt that after the events of this morning. You were in a fair amount of pain earlier and I shouldn't have allowed you out of bed, but with both you and Severus pleading with me that Harry needed to see you, well... I had to let you get out of bed. You did over exert yourself, however, as I knew you would, and that is why you slept much longer than expected."

Yes, Lucius had known with each step he had taken earlier in the morning that he was doing more than he should, but it had been worth it for him to show Harry that he was alive. "How is Harry?"

_He took the curse for you and suffered its effects internally; he is not well at all_, is what Poppy was tempted to say, but she knew it wasn't right to blame this man for what Harry was going through; Lucius hadn't come through the ordeal completely unscathed, himself. "I think he'll be fine with plenty of rest; having Severus with him is helping. The dear has been through so much; I don't know how he has coped as well as he has."

Lucius now took the time to look over at the two sleeping, and it sent a wave of grief over him, but he wasn't all that certain just what it was for: probably it represented many things. He looked back at Poppy. What had she said? Coping? Harry? Was she serious? Lucius didn't think Harry had been coping at all, and how could he? A lesser person wouldn't have lasted this long. It was more than a miracle that the boy still lived. "I need to speak with the Headmaster, Poppy. Do you know if he is here?"

Poppy glanced over towards Harry and Severus, then back at Lucius, and wondered what the elder Malfoy was thinking. He looked properly upset, as he should, but he also looked to be in a fair bit of discomfort, which Poppy didn't at all like. "Yes, he is in his office and asked me to get him if you or one of them woke up." Poppy glanced over at Harry and Severus once more and saw that now their hands and legs were intertwined around each other. She would never become accustomed to the idea of them together in an intimate relationship, but she loved that they were there for one another. She smiled and hoped that fate would give them a break. "I will go get him."

"Thank you." Lucius watched Poppy turn away from Harry and Severus, who looked happy in their current state. If he could, he'd sacrifice his life so his former best friend could always look that at ease. It seemed a morbid thought, and so very un-Malfoy-like, but where Severus was concerned, there were no boundaries. Lucius loved that man as he had never loved another. If only he'd had the courage to accept that his thoughts weren't so different from Severus's all those years ago, then perhaps he could have accepted that he loved Severus and wanted them to go down the same path in life together. As it happened, however, Lucius had chosen the path of least resistance while Severus had chosen the opposite.

When he heard the door open and close, he turned his head and wondered what Dumbledore would have to say to him. Lucius wanted to help if he could, and just maybe he had information now. He was beginning to remember small fragments of his ordeal when the killing curse had been sent to him. Most of what happened remained fuzzy, but he was beginning to remember voices and features, as well as certain things that had been said, which could possibly help identify his _supposed executioner_.

As far as the Death Eaters were concerned, Lucius was dead, but he wondered how long that would last : a day… at most, and his own deeds were not going to help keep that fact secret. He would not go into hiding and he was going to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. He wouldn't allow these people to dictate how he lived. His life had always been in peril, so why should he change his lifestyle now? He knew what the outcome for him would be; it was just a matter of who and how which gave him food for thought. His eventual death didn't at all upset him; in fact, it gave him hope: hope that when he did finally meet his end, that just perhaps he would see his son again. Probably not, as he didn't believe in that religious nonsense, but just the idea that perhaps… well, that did make Lucius want to believe.

He knew one thing with certainty, however: when it was revealed that he was indeed alive, there would be one less Death Eater to worry about. Voldemort didn't take kindly to botched missions, especially ones as important as this one surely had been. Voldemort had had his chance and now it was gone: Lucius was behind Hogwarts wards now; he was as safe as anyone could be.

~*~

"How can this be?"

"I do not know, Master. He should be dead."

"But he is not dead, is he?"

"No, Master."

Voldemort looked down at the most valuable member of his elite group of _Furtim Fighters_, and laughed. "Did you not understand how important this mission was? Of course, you did. I have kept you hidden for such an occasion as this: you were my diamond in the rough. No one would ever suspect you as being one of my followers. As such, I had access to what was going on in that crackpot Dumbledore's head. I was able to neutralize Severus with you, and as a reward for all of your hard work, I gave you this one task. I think I recall telling you that this was your only chance because once this was over you would return to your former position and have nothing further to do with me. You seemed so eager my Furtim, so why, might I ask, is he still alive?"

"As I said before, Master, I have no explanation."

"Crucio."

Voldemort watched as the Furtim fell to the floor and began writhing in pain. He could hear the gasps for air and he could hear the sounds escaping the constricted throat of the now almost unconscious form on the stone floor as muscles were being ripped apart. Finally, he decided his fun was over for the time being and ceased the _unforgivable_. "You will find out for me what happened and report back to me without delay. Now get out of my sight." As the figure walked towards the barrier to Apparate, Voldemort pointed his wand – "Obliviate._"  
_  
The Fertim Apparated to the forbidden forest then lost consciousness.

**~*~**

"Good evening, Lucius. You are looking much better."

"Thank you, Albus; I am feeling somewhat better. I think I have had some memories of what happened to me. Perhaps they will be able to help us determine who did this."

"What can you remember?" Albus asked, trying not to seem too eager, but he was. He needed to know what was happening, so he could know how best to continue protecting Harry.

Lucius was about to answer when out of the corner of his eye he noticed Madam Pomfrey rushing to Harry's bedside. He could see the young man leaning over the side of the bed being sick.

The Headmaster followed Lucius's gaze and looked sadly at the sight that met him: Severus was sitting up holding Harry around the middle as he continued to be sick. Harry had tears running down his face and Severus looked to be in a daze. Albus could see Severus's lips moving but, because of the Silencing Charms, not a sound could be heard: It was a surreal moment.

"Albus, this is not making any sense," Lucius said as he continued to watch, mesmerized by how loving Severus was being with Harry, moving the fringe from his eyes and wiping away tears. It seemed just yesterday that Severus had done the same for him. "I was the one who received the killing curse; I should be dead. Even alive, I should be suffering more than Harry. He is not looking improved from this morning at all, and here I am feeling much better. That should not be," Lucius said, wondering what was going on.

Albus nodded as he scratched his beard. "I agree, Lucius, but Harry has many connections with Voldemort, many more than we know about, I am afraid. Something protected you from death and the severe internal injuries that are always fatal when the killing curse is used. While you suffered quite a few injuries, they were nothing to what Harry suffered. He suffered those effects of the killing curse just as he would have when feeling the effects of someone being killed with it. This is going to sound quite unbelievable, but it is my thought that you survived and weren't hurt badly because Draco's room had been sealed off to death."

Lucius looked confused. Yes, he had heard of such a thing as rooms where death wasn't allowed, but he'd thought that was a mere myth. "Meaning?"

"It is an ancient and rare charm that when performed can prevent the charmed area from being the site of any deaths. It is not a preferred method of protection, however. This method of death prevention was supposedly discovered in the 1100's as a way of keeping traveling parties from entering and ravaging villages. This sounds a wonderful cure all for death, but there is one drawback. When performed by someone who is not well-versed in the true origins, this potent charm can reverse itself, rendering everyone who enters the thought-to-be protected area or room, dead. After a few unfortunate mistakes using this charm, it was banned, and all but forgotten. As you are probably guessing, the incantation is supposedly extremely complex. There could be other reasons you survived, of course, but the Sealing Off Death Charm seems to be the best we have to go on as to why you survived. The only other person to survive the killing curse, as you know, is Harry, and we know his mother's love saved him. Do you know if Draco could have possibly found out about this Sealing off Death Charm and placed it on his room?"

Lucius began to feel sick: Had his son tried to protect himself from death? "My son, as you well know, was exceptionally bright, and yes, I suppose he could have very well found out about and performed the charm. He knew from my experience how to fear the Dark Lord, and I do recall him speaking about not feeling safe. The more I think about it, the more I can believe my son would try this on his room if he had come across it in his reading."

Albus nodded. He was quite certain this was what had happened. "Regarding the charm, it did save your life; however, it does not fully explain your diminished internal injuries. The charm is only to prevent death, but as happened in Draco's case, a person can still be injured badly while in a room sealed to death. I believe Harry suffered your injuries for you, Lucius, at least internally. Whether he was connected to you through his scar, his new powers that he has recently gained, or his familiar, we do not know. Sapiens is connected with Draco's room because that is where Severus bound your son to the snake. It will take further research to determine any further information."

It was quite a bit to take in. "What should I do, Albus? I do not wish to run from my fate, but I am not willing to put Mr Potter in any further danger."

Albus rearranged his spectacles and sighed. "I do wish it were that simple and that you alone were the reason Harry is being sought, Lucius. That is not how it is, however. I am afraid Mr Potter will be in danger regardless of whether you are at Hogwarts or not, and although these walls have thus far protected you and all of us from the outside world, we cannot hide from our destiny, Lucius. Whatever will happen will happen. Having said that, for Harry's sake, at least until he is doing better, you will remain here; if anything happens to you, he _will_ think it his fault."

It hadn't been a request; it had been an order, and Lucius hadn't taken orders from anyone other than Voldemort for the last two decades of his life, and it didn't make him happy to hear another order from someone else, but this someone else was not just anyone – Albus Dumbledore had given him another chance, which he hadn't at all deserved. He nodded.

"Of course, Lucius, we aren't certain of your status among many of the Death Eater families, but we must assume they are all aware of your move to our side. You will, of course, continue acting as a Death Eater, even if no one believes you. As you have already told me, you are not sure how Voldemort knows that you were a traitor. Thus you will try to convince him that you have gained my trust and will be a spy for him while you are here. We will devise a strategic approach to all of this when you are feeling up to it. I do not think this will be easy, or successful long-term, but we need the time, and I do think it could work. I am afraid it has to work." Albus knew that he was more than likely sending Lucius to his eventual death, but this was as it had to be. This was war….

Another order and another nod. "Albus, is it possible that someone knew about my son's room? They did take Draco elsewhere to kill him."

No, they probably hadn't, but Albus knew why Lucius was asking: Voldemort and his followers would be able to use the room to their advantage if they found out about it. That couldn't be allowed to happen. Albus would need to speak to Arthur about neutralizing the room so no one else could use it. "I think Draco's death was planned to happen the way it did, Lucius. It is likely Voldemort gave orders for the others to do whatever they wanted before bringing Draco to him. There is little doubt that Voldemort did things the way he did to taunt you: Draco's torture and subsequent death were used to send you a message. When he wanted you dead, he had nothing to prove to anyone so it mattered little who did the actual killing." Albus saw brief sadness flicker across Lucius's face and felt badly for the man. No matter that he had in many ways brought all of this upon himself, it was still a difficult thing – knowing that this man's son had been tortured in front of him and had then been murdered; it was a fate befitting no one.

"What will the students be told about my son and me?" Lucius wasn't sure why he was asking, as it mattered little to him what anyone was told. He'd be acting the loyal Death Eater.

"This year I think it best if we are straightforward with the students regarding Voldemort. Keeping certain secretshas its merits, but we must be careful what we leave out. What is not said can have dire consequences, and cause what otherwise would have been a preventable death." Lucius nodded his head, but looked somewhat confused. Albus allowed a slight smile. It would be good to keep Lucius guessing. "Now... you mentioned earlier that you are having flashbacks of what happened which might help us identify the participants. What can you tell me, Lucius?" Albus asked, hoping the change of subject would be fruitful.

_Fair enough_, Lucius thought. Albus wouldn't include him in his plans, which was understandable. If Lucius were Albus, he'd keep him unaware as well. "I recall asking whomever it was if you had sent them." The Headmaster's neutral face took no time in turning into a frown. "And... I am not certain, but I am almost sure it was a female because I am almost certain she had a dress on, and this person was not wearing any robes."

"Is there anything further you recall, Lucius?"

"Something was said about them showing me that I cannot trust anyone, but that is all I remember."

The Headmaster nodded sadly and sighed, but did not say anything.

"Albus? Do you have any ideas who it could have been?"

"No, Lucius, but it does sound like this could be someone who has a prominent position here at Hogwarts if you asked had I sent them. I don't see how that could happen; there are many safeguards at Hogwarts and the surrounding grounds: the wards being the most important. I do not believe it possible a Death Eater could pass through the front doors of Hogwarts without having set off numerous alarms.

**~*~**

It was Friday morning and in less than twelve hours, Hogwarts would be filled with students. Poppy had released Lucius the prior evening, but Harry had yet to keep down any food so he had to remain until Poppy was satisfied he could keep something down. Severus had remained with him through the night, taking the bed that Lucius had been in only hours earlier. Harry's temperature had begun to fall, and his sporadic convulsions and whimpers were decreasing.

Progress, as little and slow as it was, was progress.

Finally, when Harry kept down a bowl of soup and a couple of crackers, Poppy released him to Severus's care, making him promise that Harry would go directly to bed until the welcoming feast. Severus assured her that was his intention, then picked up his young charge and carried his still weak Harry to the dungeons.

Before going to his rooms, Severus stopped by his workroom and picked up a phial of the potion he had made for Harry. With some help, Harry swallowed the sweet-tasting liquid and closed his eyes. By the time Severus entered his bedroom and put Harry down in their bed, he was in a deep sleep. Severus kissed the scar then changed into something more comfortable and climbed into the bed as well, and soon fell asleep curled up next to Harry.

When the alarm clock went off six hours later, Severus woke up, not at all happy to be awakened in such a way, but he had to grin when he found that he was spooned behind Harry and that their hands were intertwined. If this could be how he woke up each day, his life would be so much more bearable.

"Sev?" Harry asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Yes?"

"Your alarm is going off and it is LOUD!"

Severus found his wand and pointed it toward the alarm. "Merlin, didn't we just fall asleep? It can't be three yet," but he saw that it was, and yawned. _Here we go again, _Severus thought. He had never looked forward to the Welcoming Feast, because it was then when he had to resume his cover. And this year he had the added pressure of an extremely vulnerable Harry, who just so happened to be his soul mate. How was he going to react to this change? Severus was many things, but naïve, he was not: he knew that Harry wouldn't react well. He turned back towards Harry and leaned down for a quick kiss, and was encouraged to see that Harry's coloring looking somewhat better – not good – but not as pale as it had been. Harry lifted a hand and ran his fingers through Severus's hair, and Severus wished for nothing more than to stay with Harry and not go upstairs. Alas, he couldn't do that, and neither could Harry, who would be expected to sit at the Gryffindor table with his fellow housemates. "Time to get up and face the masses." Harry made a sound that needed no explanation, and Severus wanted so badly to allow Harry to sleep a bit longer.

Severus had set the alarm to wake them up an hour earlier than needed because he wanted him and Harry to talk before they left each other to get ready for the feast. He knew what was about to happen, and he wanted to reassure his Harry how much that he was loved, especially now, because the events of the week hadn't been kind to anyone, least of all Harry, who had suffered in so many ways. Severus wasn't sure how Harry would make it though tonight's opening feast, or if he should even try, but he also knew nothing short of death would keep Harry from attending.

Harry wondered what Severus was thinking: it probably had to do with him, and Harry didn't like to think that he caused Severus such worry. "I'm not ready to go out there, Severus." Yet he continued to say these things that made him sound so weak. He didn't want to say these things and he didn't want to be weak, but he was and he was so very tired. How was he supposed to face everyone and act normally? That would be impossible.

Well, perhaps Severus had been too optimistic; perhaps Harry didn't want to attend the feast after al. But he really did need to, and Severus knew that if he didn't it would raise many more questions than Harry would be willing to answer, and he'd have to face it all soon enough as it was, so he might as well begin with the feast. "Well, if you are truly not feeling up to it, we will think of something, Harry. I don't think you should go to the Welcoming Feast; you have been through quite an ordeal and there is no way your body is anywhere near healed." Severus was counting on Harry to do just the opposite.

"N-no, I want to go, Severus... well, I need to. I can't hide down here forever, and if I don't show up, then Hermione and Ron will find me and bombard me with questions I can't answer. I promise to be careful, Severus. I really do feel fine for the most part, I'm just so tired, I feel like I could sleep for days."

It gave Severus little joy that he knew Harry so well. "Your body will need much more rest before it is properly healed. You do realise that you must have taken Lucius's injuries as well as the pain; Poppy said she has never seen anything like what she saw when she examined you. The potion I gave you this morning seemed to work well, and its effects will remain for another few hours. I will give you another phial after the feast. If you become too sleepy you can always pretend you are listening to Albus and sleep; he says the same thing every year." Severus didn't smile, but he was grinning on the inside and he knew Harry was aware of that fact.

Harry let out a small laugh. It was so odd, and perhaps more than a little wrong hearing Severus saying such things. It hadn't been so long ago that Harry had thought there was nothing remotely interesting about Severus Snape. Oh how wrong he had been. "I could try, but you know the _greasy git_ would've never let me get away with that in the past. No matter how careful I was, he would have caught me."

"So then, I will be looking elsewhere. Slytherin will be needing my full attention. Draco's death will be quite the news." As soon as he said it, Severus wanted to take it back. Harry disliked any mention of Draco, but then again, Severus knew Harry needed to get used to others speaking of the Slytherin, and probably in not very flattering terms.

"How do you think everyone will react to Lucius teaching?" Harry asked, preferring to not speak of Draco, at least not at the moment.

"Probably not very well. The Death Eater children will be furious at him and want him dead for his supposed treason against the Death Eaters, and the other half will want him dead for his ties to the Death Eaters. It will not be easy, but if anyone can do this, it is Lucius. The man is a master of charm, and I do not mean incantation speaking; he has a habit of getting what he wants, and will not stop until he does."

"Yeah... I saw that in his eyes whenever he—"

Severus shifted over and lifted Harry onto his lap. "Are you still uncomfortable around him?"

"Not really, but sometimes I just freeze when I'm around him and it all comes back. I feel okay being in the same room with him most of the time, and I know he'd never try anything again, but it's just weird."

Weird might not be quite a strong enough word for how Harry probably felt. It hurt Severus that Harry had to work with Lucius, but he did and had, without complaining Unfortunately Severus was about to suggest something he wished he didn't have to. But he knew Harry and knew what he needed. "As much as it pains me to say this, Harry, the only way I see this situation improving for you is if you talk to Lucius again and tell him your fears, and let him know exactly how you feel. I don't want you to have to face him with this, but until you do, you will not be able to function normally. I know a lot is being asked of you, being here in the same school with a new teacher, one who attempted to rape you. If there was not a bigger goal we were all trying to reach, and if he was only going to be teaching, and if we did not need him so much, I would be demanding he not be allowed to teach. No matter that the two of you seem to be getting on better, there is a limit to what people can be asked to do, and yours has already been reached. I do not want anyone hurting you intentionally or unintentionally, and I fear Lucius's presence will hurt you. Unfortunately, in this current situation, we all have to work together. I don't like it, and I really wish there were something I could do or say that would make this situation easier for you." It was vastly unfair and Severus couldn't wait until the day when this would all be over.

Harry reached out and traced Severus's bare right nipple. "You're doing a good job of making me feel better right now, Severus. I agree that talking to Lucius is something I need to do. Most of the time I really do feel okay around him. After what we've been through this week, I feel that he and I have a connection that will forever bind us to one another. Seeing Draco tortured was bloody awful, and knowing that his father also witnessed that, haunts me, Severus.

Severus again thanked Merlin for this wonderful gift. Harry really had grown up, and he was turning into a very fine young wizard. "Go talk to him, Harry. Believe me, he will want to hear what you have to say." Severus and Harry then kissed, but Severus broke it off before Harry could deepen it, and forced himself out of the warmth of the bed. He walked over to the wardrobe and picked up a large box. Returning to sit by Harry, Severus handed him the box. "I think this should make you smile."

Harry opened it and his grin immediately covered his entire face. "She's beautiful, Severus." He took her out of the box and placed her on his arm, the arm that Sapiens was not currently sleeping on.

"I thought so, as well. Harry, this is Ara, our new owl. She is for your use as well as mine when we need to talk to one another. No matter what time of the day, or what you need, Ara will find me, or vice versa, and no one else will ever see her. The other special thing about her is that you do not have to write any message for me to see; all you need do is to think what you want to say to me and tell her, then she will come find me, and I will retrieve your thoughts."

Harry's grin increased, if that were possible. "So, then I can talk to you any time I want and tell you anything? And you can do the same with me, without anyone knowing? And no one will be able to see her?" Harry threw his arms around Severus.

"That is correct. She is invisible. Ara will allow us to never be lonely during the day." Harry was still hugging Severus like there was no tomorrow. "I take it you are pleased?"

"You have no idea! She is really ours?"

Relief warmed Severus. He had been so worried about Harry, and he would still be so, but with Ara, things just might work out. "Yes, Harry, she is really ours." Severus felt the tension as it continued to leave his body. He knew Harry had been apprehensive about the coming school year and when he'd heard Ara was available, he knew she could be an answer and had immediately inquired as to her location. He'd then had her flown in from Greece, where she had belonged to a prominent wizard family.

If Harry really thought about it, as he surely would with time, he'd realize that with the bond, he and Severus could talk to each other at will anytime during the day, but Severus knew that Harry needed something tangible to put his hands on, and Ara would accomplish that. There wasn't anything Severus wouldn't do for Harry.

He continued to watch Harry admire their new owl for a few minutes more, then stood to dress for the Welcoming Feast. "Your friends will be missing your presence on the Hogwarts Express, don't you think?"

Harry looked up and shrugged his shoulders, then returned his attention to Ara. He wondered if Sapiens would be jealous of her. "Prob'ly so. I actually wish I could have ridden it with them, but... oh well," Harry said, a rather deep sigh that sounded rather forced.

After what all Harry had been through the past few days, Severus knew there was no way that Harry would have ridden the Hogwarts Express. "They will be here soon enough, and then the three of you can talk as much as you want."

"Yeah." Harry frowned as he turned his attention to Sapiens, who was finally awake and looking at him; she had yet to discover Ara.

That was not a very resounding sounding response, and Severus knew the next few hours were going to be difficult for Harry.

Severus looked through his wardrobe for a cloak, and after retrieving the one he wanted, he walked over to Harry and lifted his chin to look into his eyes. "Harry, I am not making you be with your friends. You may return here anytime you like; I just thought you would want to talk to them."

"Part of me wants to talk to them, Severus, but a bigger part of me wants nothing more than to hide from them."

"Why would you want to do that, Harry?" He needn't have asked because he knew all too well why, but he needed Harry to talk about it.

"Questions, Severus: so many questions about Draco, why I was here this summer... I just wish everyone would leave me alone, but I know that's not going to happen."

Unfortunately, what Harry said was all too true and there was little Severus could do to prevent that inevitability. "I have been informed that you, Neville, Ron, and Hermione will all be meeting with the Headmaster tomorrow morning regarding what we discussed a few weeks ago in our meeting. I think the four of you will be spending quite a bit of time together this year."

Again, Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I just wish I knew how Ron was going to be; I'm still boiling mad at him."

"As well you should be. Listen, Harry: Ron is a hot head, but I do think that he would do anything for you if asked. Perhaps the two of you can work this out. If not, then so be it. Whether you and he remain close matters none to me, and I do not mean to sound as mean as I do regarding him, but he does nothing for me. I do think Hermione will be a good friend for you this year, however. Please do not push her away."

"It would be so much easier Severus if I could just tell her about us; I know she wouldn't say anything." Harry hated the idea of keeping such a huge secret from her. Ron, he would never tell, but Hermione – she deserved to know.

"You know as well as I do that we cannot tell her, Harry. Lives are at risk here, and for her to know about us would put her life in danger."

"Yeah, I know, and I wouldn't do or say anything that would cause harm for Hermione. That doesn't change that I want to tell her, though. Merlin, Severus, it's going to be so hard seeing you and having to pretend I hate you, and when I'm in Potions and have to sit there looking at you being all mean to me, that's not going to be easy, but I'll do it."

Severus took Harry in his arms and kissed the pink chapped lips before moving down to the inviting throat that was exposed due to Harry's lack of a shirt. The two had done little more than peck each other's cheek and forehead the last few days, and both men were frustrated.

Breaking for air, Harry was breathing heavily. "I want you, Severus, so badly; I want you to make love to me all night long, and not the sweet and slow kind, I want you to make me feel you inside of me, I want you to make me feel alive. I want you to bugger me into the bed until I can't see straight."

That brought a smile to Severus. "Oh and I can assure you my little Gryffindor that I too want to feel that sumptuous body underneath me writhing in response to my body slamming into yours; oh yes, Harry, I want that very much. However, you are in no condition for me to fully show you what I want to, and will not be for a while. Believe me, it would set you back quite a few months, and I want you healed, the sooner the better. Only then will we be able to do as we wish."

"So, you're telling me we can't have sex for the foreseeable future?" what a horrible thought. Harry frowned and stuck out his bottom lip, as he knew that always got to Severus. No, Harry was not beneath acting as a child.

Severus reached out and touched that bottom lip. Ah, what a terrible thing to say to a teenager. Oh, the joys of youth. Severus tried to look serious but failed miserably. "There are other things we can do besides me _buggering you into the bed,_ as you so bluntly put it, yes?"

Harry managed a small smile. "Well, yeah, now that you mention it, it has been a while since... Okay, I will meet you back here after the feast." That small smile was now a toothy grin.

Ah the resiliency of youth. There were a several things that Severus was being reminded of that made him both sad and happy that his youthful days were long ago finished. "And tell your friends what, Harry? 'Oh sorry, I have an appointment with my greasy git Potions master for a blow job?'" Severus laughed along with Harry.

"How'd you know? I'd love to see the look on their faces! I'll spend some time with them and then I'll say I'm tired because it's been a long day, which it has been, then I'll come and begin my _healing. _Does that sound good to you?"

"I should think so, yes, it sounds quite lovely to me, and I am quite certain it will feel even better. For now, however, you should go have a shower and get dressed."

Harry glanced down at his minimal attire. "Yeah, probably no one would wish to see me appear at the Welcoming Feast in my boxers. It wouldn't do to have the entire female population drooling over me because one Harry Potter could not keep his body covered." Harry laughed aloud.

"I concur, Mr Potter. It would not do at all for you to parade your body in front of anyone. You are mine, all mine, and no female, or other male, will ever be seeing you in your boxers; that is reserved for only me, and might I add, I'd rather see you _not _in them. But enough of this talk; if we continue as we are, neither of us will be at the feast and all matter of speculation will begin."

Harry reluctantly forced himself out of the bed and then he backed out of the bedroom, his eyes never leaving Sevrerus's until he reached the door, and made his way into the corridor, then entered his room, which seemed cold and lonely. He had spent very little time here recently. In fact, he couldn't even think of five nights that he'd spent in his bed. That wouldn't be changing, but he would be spending more time in his rooms once lessons began.

Sirius had talked to Harry about moving in with him, and Harry actually thought it was a good idea. Now he and Sirius could spend more time together. Harry's nights would still be spent with Severus, but it would be nice to have a roommate, especially one as fun as Sirius.

**~*~**

Sighing, Severus couldn't help grinning at Harry who was now twirling around causing his robes to billow around him. The once gangly, short boy had grown into quite the handsome, diminutive wizard, and the only downside to this little display of cheek was that it reminded Severus that Harry was very much a student.

Grinning from ear to ear, Harry straightened his robes then hugged Severus as he tried to think of what he wanted to say: he needed to tell Severus how much he appreciated all of his help. He owed Severus so much, and he didn't think it possible that there was any way he would ever be able to adequately thank Severus for all he had done. "When hols began a couple months ago, Severus, it seemed as if my world had fallen apart; Sirius was the only person who really knew and understood me, and when I thought he was gone, I wanted to die. Then you came and found me by the Whomping Willow and took care of me and made me see that I did have something to live for. You made me realise I had friends who loved me, and you told me about how much my parents had showered me with love – love that still resides in my heart. Then you showed me I had love in me yet to give; you showed me that I was capable of loving and being loved. You showed me how to love, Severus. You showed me how to love you. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for everything. I have known you for six years, but until two months ago, I really didn't know you. I'm so glad it was you who found me that day. Um, and I'm rambling, aren't I?" Harry pulled away and blushed. Why couldn't he ever talk like a normal person instead of a bumbling fool?

Severus took Harry's hands in his. Yes, Harry was rambling, but Severus didn't mind, except that Harry's words had touched him far more than he had wanted them to. There was so much he wanted to say, but someone was walking towards them, about to turn the corner. Severus took a deep breath and gently squeezed Harry's hands as he nodded, trying to tell Harry that all would be fine. Then he mouthed, "Let's go."

When they reached the stone steps leading upstairs, Severus took Harry in his arms and hugged him to his chest. They remained that way as long as they could. "I love you, Harry, and don't you forget it."

"I love you, too, Severus," Harry said as he breathed in the smell of Severus, not ready to let go.

The two gazed into each other's eyes until Severus mouthed, 'You need to go.' After one final quick kiss, a slightly trembling Harry turned around and walked up the steps to meet his friends. He didn't look back.

_Fertim is Latin for Stealth._

_Ara is Latin for refuge and protection._


	25. Chapter 25

As Harry approached the entrance hall, he could hear the shuffling feet and voices of the students who were about to enter the Great Hall for the Welcoming Feast. His stomach was aflutter with butterflies; as he'd told Severus, he wanted to see his friends, yet he didn't. Regardless of what he wanted, in a few minutes his two best friends were going to walk through those doors looking for him. As if said friends had heard his thoughts, Harry heard his name yelled from across the room.

"Haaaaarry." Hermione ran towards Harry and embraced him in a huge hug. "We missed you on the train."

"Yeah, mate... wasn't the same without you," Ron added, sounding distracted. "I had to listen to Hermione talk about the books she read over the hols; it wasn't the slightest bit interesting."

Harry grinned and let out a small chuckle when Hermione glared at Ron. "Thanks, guys; I wish I could've ridden here with you, but it wasn't safe _they said_." Harry was careful to sound as if he'd really wanted to ride on the train.

"Yeah, Mum said Dumbledore wasn't going to let you leave Hogwarts at all this term, and she also said that the three of us were going to have to be extra careful this year; she was really worried about letting Ginny and me get on the train, but I told her we'd be fine. I got a letter telling me to meet with Professor Dumbledore tomorrow morning. I wonder what that's about?" Ron said as he reached for the door to the Great Hall.

Harry watched as Hermione found her letter, and looked at it, along with Ron. Harry hadn't received a letter, but Severus had told him about the meeting. Harry did a quick search of the hall looking to see if Neville had entered yet, but didn't see him. He was curious to know what Neville's reaction would be when they met with Professor Dumbledore.

Neville, once the shy and unimpressive student, had begun to emerge last year as quite the intelligent student in all except Potions. Professor Snape had continued to undermine the young Gryffindor at every corner and Harry had never understood why. He had known the reasoning behind the hatred of _him_, but what could possibly make the man loathe Neville so much? He had wanted to ask Severus, and had come close many times, but he'd always stopped short. He had an idea that whatever it was had to do with Neville's parents because he had heard bits and pieces of conversations about Snape regarding the Longbottoms from Sirius. This might be another one of those things Harry was better off not knowing.

It was more than a bit disconcerting to think of how many things Harry was probably better off not knowing about Severus. It bothered him, but he didn't allow it to overwhelm him: he had someone to love him and he'd take the secrets any day over the chance that Severus would leave him because he asked too many questions.

As Ron and Hermione continued to talk, Harry saw a flash of red and found himself embraced by Ginny, whom Harry had become close with during last term. Ginny's crush on him had long since abated and now she saw Harry as another brother. Harry also thought of Ginny as a sister. Their experience in the Chamber of Secrets had been harrowing, and being the only two who knew exactly what had happened had helped forge their close relationship; Harry was extremely protective of the youngest Weasley.

"Sorry, Harry, can't stay; my friends are calling. I just had to come give you a hug and say hi."

"Thanks, Gin. See you later?"

"Of course; we haven't had a chance to visit with each other all summer, I've got loads to tell you." Without any further comment, she was gone.

Hermione began walking into the Great Hall and motioned Harry and Ron to follow. The Gryffindor witch never liked entering anywhere late, and her newest title as Head Girl only made her more determined than ever to set a good example for everyone else. Finding three places in the center of the Gryffindor table, they sat down. They hadn't been seated two minutes when the majority of the students came bursting through the giant oak doors, immediately filling the hall with noise.

During the time that the students were finding their seats, the staff began filing in from the side entrance behind the High Table. Harry made sure he had a neutral look on his face as he glanced up and saw Severus taking his seat. The older wizard had his usual scowl plastered across his face and looked as if he could kill if provoked. Harry had tried that look, and could not for the life of him figure out how to do it. Severus was staring coldly at the Slytherin table. Professor Sprout approached and sat next to Severus, which did nothing to improve his mood; if anything, after she left, Severus seemed to be in an even more foul mood then before. Severus then scanned the room and his eyes stopped on the Gryffindor table. Harry's heart was beating a mile a minute. He met Severus's gaze, and met him with the most sinister of frowns. If anyone had caught the look between the two, they would guess that the greasy git and _the boy who lived_ were waging war against one another. Harry increased his frown, their exchange only interrupted when the double doors opened revealing Hagrid and the first years.

As the first years continued to file up to the front of the hall, Harry once again glanced at the High Table. There were four empty seats, which Harry knew belonged to Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, Lucius Malfoy, and his godfather. Sirius was going to assist Lucius with DADA, giving him a valid reason for being at Hogwarts. Harry couldn't wait to see and hear the shock on his fellow students' faces when the Headmaster introduced their new Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor.

Hagrid led the nervous-looking group to the front of the hall then went to take his seat. Professor McGonagall placed the sorting hat on the stool already in front of the High Table, and then began her explanation to the students about what would happen. Then the Hat gave his speech and the sorting began.

Harry was trying to pay attention to what was going on, but all he could think about was how sleepy he was becoming. After waking up from his and Severus's long nap, Harry had felt refreshed for the most part, and thought everything was going to be fine, but now he was extremely sleepy and his body was beginning to ache all over; when he tried to shift in his seat to get more comfortable, the sharp pains only increased. Harry glanced at his friends, making sure they weren't looking his way; he wasn't prepared to answer questions as to why he was in so much pain, and he didn't think he was up to conjuring a story Hermione would accept.

At the High Table, Severus hid behind his scowl while scanning the room. The sorting had commenced, drawing the students' attention to the front center of the room. Severus rested his gaze on Harry, with his scowl firmly in place, and noticed that the Gryffindor looked flushed. Harry was watching the sorting, but Severus knew he wasn't listening. Then Severus saw Harry grimace and raise his eyes to meet his. Those young, dull eyes looked at him with a blank expression, and Severus knew just by that look that Harry was experiencing severe pain. He wanted to do something, to go get Harry, to take him away from all of this. Instead, he reluctantly looked away – he could do nothing else until the Welcoming Feast was over..

Harry returned his attention to the sorting and noticed that his house had increased by quite a large number. _The sorting must be nearing the end..._

_"Sev?"_

_"I'm here, Harry. You look flushed; are you feeling okay?"_

_"Not really, but I'll be okay."_

_"I knew it was not a good idea for you to be here; you should still be in bed resting."_

_"Prob'ly so."_

_"You should tell Miss Granger and Mr Weasley that you are tired."_

_"I can't do that, Sev. They would know something's up; I'll be fine. I'll see you about nine."_

_"Please be careful, Harry."_

_"I will, Sev."_

Harry turned to Ron, rolled his eyes and pointed to the sorting. One of the girls who had just been sorted into Slytherin looked horrified.

Ron leaned over to Harry and Hermione and whispered, "If she is that terrified just being sorted into Slytherin, what will she do when she has to face Snape?"

"Ron, you know he coddles his Slytherins; he reserves his hate for us, and if you keep talking, that hate he has for us will get us in trouble before lessons even begin." Hermione seemed put upon that Ron had interrupted her watching of the sorting and quickly returned her attention to the front of the hall.

Finally, the sorting was over, the hat had been removed, and the tables were full of hungry students. Professor McGonagall tapped her glass to get everyone's attention and Dumbeldore stood up to give his beginning of the year speech. Harry thought about what Severus had told him about going to sleep, but Harry knew if he fell asleep, he mightn't be able to wake up.

"I see we have another excited group of first years," Dumbledore began. "Hogwarts will be your home away from home for the next seven years and I hope each of you leave here with as much knowledge as our current seventh years have. Each and every one of them has grown from scared first years to confident and secure seventh years. Speaking of them, I need to present our Head boy and Head girl: Dean Thomas and Hermione Granger. Will the two of you please stand..."

Harry watched Hermione stand up and heard the Headmaster begin speaking about she and Dean's duties, but that is the last thing he remembered before blacking out.

If it hadn't been for Severus glancing at the Gryffindor table, it is probable that Harry's state might have gone unnoticed until the food appeared. When Severus's eyes fell on Harry, he saw him slumped over in his chair with his eyes shut. Most might have thought him merely sleeping, but Severus knew better. He got Minerva's attention and turned his gaze to Harry.

Minerva didn't think twice: she immediately walked over to the young student and took him in her arms. He was unresponsive and burning up.

Madam Pomfrey soon joined Professor McGonagall, and it wasn't long before they both left for the Hospital Wing, leaving a mystified group of students and staff wondering what was going on.

Severus couldn't leave the feast, and supper hadn't been served yet. He glanced at the Headmaster, who just happened to be looking at him. There was nothing to be done other than continue as if everything was normal. Severus almost left, consequences be damned, but he knew Harry was in good hands with Poppy and Minerva. Albus continued his announcements and introduction of the new teachers, which Severus had been eagerly anticipating for obvious reasons. Seeing the terror on the faces of the students was something he hadn't wanted to miss when Albus introduced Lucius Malfoy as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, but after seeing Harry being carried out, Severus's mind closed off to everything else, and all he could think about was his Harry. Albus's words seemed to last an eternity, but eventually supper appeared and everyone ate.

The Great Hall was full of noise, but it was subdued compared to most Welcoming Feasts. Most everyone seemed excited to see their friends again, but there were two tables filled with students who did not seem excited in the least. In fact, both of them had a somber look and feel to them. The Gryffindor students wanted to know what had happened to Harry, and the Slytherins were in shock over Draco Malfoy's death, which the Headmaster had told them about soon after the incident with Harry had taken place. Most of them had known what had happened to their fellow year mate because, of course, many of them were children of Death Eaters, but there had been those who hadn't known anything, and the news was quite a shock.

As if that news weren't jolting enough, then Professor Dumbledore introduced Lucius and Sirius as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructors, even as Sirius would only be assisting occasionally. If someone had dropped a pin when Lucius Malfoy entered the Great Hall, it could have been heard. The looks on the young faces were a mix of awe and fear. He'd walked to his seat without any emotion on his face.

Lucius knew that he was going to have to set his tone immediately; he had a reputation, and that would serve him well. He glanced over at Severus and thought that Hogwarts may not be ready for two former Death Eaters.

**~*~**

"Poppy, I know Harry was severely hurt, but with his and Severus's bond, shouldn't he be healing faster?"

Poppy stopped her wand-waving and looked at Minerva. Harry hadn't been healing quickly for days now. Where had she been? Oh right… with her sister. Nevertheless, Poppy appreciated Minerva's help and didn't want to upset her. "You know Minerva, I had the same thought. Being hit with the killing curse, which, in effect, Harry was, it is possible, perhaps, that the sheer magnitude of it was too much for his bond to overcome, but I am more inclined to think that his pain potion that he took this morning probably wore off, and that is what caused the intense pain to return, causing him to black out. Severus had some phials delivered to me earlier, and I just gave him another. He is in a deep sleep now, and as long as his vitals don't change, I say let him stay as is."

~*~

As soon as the Welcoming Feast was over, Severus swept to his workroom and picked up a phial of invisibility potion so he could visit Harry without prying eyes.

**~*~**

Ron and Hermione went straight to the Hospital Wing after they left the Welcoming Feast and found Madam Pomfrey sitting by a sleeping Harry. The matron was holding a wet flannel to his forehead.

"Is he okay, Madam Pomfrey?" Hermione asked, pensively. Harry didn't look so good; in fact, he looked awful: his face was pale and she could see the sweat glistening over his body. A light blanket covered his lower body and his chest was covered with flannels.

"He is only sleeping, Miss Granger; I think he will be fine by morning." Of course, the word 'fine' was subjective, and Poppy used it rather lightly. Her _fine _in actuality meant that he would survive.

"We were just sitting there and all of a sudden Professor McGonagall came and carried Harry off. What happened to him?"

"Mr Potter will sleep until the morning, then he should wake with no lingering effects. The two of you should be getting back to your common room, and Miss Granger, as Head Girl, don't you have responsibilities? If you want, you and Mr Weasley may come visit him in the morning after breakfast when he will be able to talk to the two of you."

Ron and Hermione left the infirmary and made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. Hermione left to fulfill her duty as Head Girl but was back within an hour. The two found their usual seats and began talking about Harry and what could be wrong with him. "Ron, Harry was running a high temperature, and he didn't look well at all; did you notice him looking pale at the Welcoming Feast?"

"Not really. He was a bit quiet, but I just thought that is how he is now, you know with all that he's been through this summer." Ron and Hermione continued discussing Harry until the Prefects entered. Ginny made her way over to the two and enquired about Harry. The three of them decided to go see Harry together after breakfast the following morning.

**~*~**

Severus made his way to the Hospital Wing and found it empty except for Harry and Poppy. He hadn't taken the Invisibility Potion and wouldn't unless it was necessary. Thankfully, Harry was in the back room, so Severus should be safe; students weren't allowed in the back unless given special permission. He walked over to Harry's bed and sat in a chair recently vacated by one of Ron Weasley: the Chocolate Frog wrapper on the bedside table giving the Weasley boy away.

Poppy was busy working in her office but looked up when Severus entered. She noticed how tired he looked, and wondered if he had gotten any sleep during the day.

Severus took one of Harry's hands in his and looked at his young lover, really looked at him. Severus knew Harry's body by heart; he knew the young man was ticklish on the back of his neck, knew he had a birthmark on his left foot and knew every curve on that well-toned body. He knew that Harry was not a morning person, knew that he loved the night, and most importantly, he knew that his Harry loved him. Would their love be enough to get them through everything? Severus wanted to believe it would; he wanted to believe that he could help Harry. Harry had already helped him begin his healing process and Severus had to do everything in his power to help Harry begin his.

Harry heard Severus's voice as he began whispering – he was speaking softly, but the silky tones still resonated beautifully in Harry's ears. "You might want to speak up a bit, Severus."

Severus's head shot up and he allowed a smile to escape – the first one he had allowed since he'd left Harry before the welcoming feast. "I was saying how much your friends wanted to see you, so you better wake up soon."

"I'm awake and feel fine now… er well, I feel about the same as I did earlier." Harry then opened his eyes and yawned. Severus looked tired. "You need sleep."

Yes, Severus was well aware of that fact. "You should have received another phial of the potion before you left this afternoon. Twelve hours is the normal duration of the potion's effectiveness, but with your severe injuries, I should have made the dosage stronger, or in the very least realised you would need it more often, such as every eight hours. When you were brought in here, Madam Pomfrey gave you a phial, so you should be fine until three in the morning. For the first few days, you will need to take it exactly every eight hours, but by Wednesday of next week, we should be able to decrease your intake."

Harry tried to sit, but Severus pushed him back down as he shook his head. Harry frowned, but wasn't really upset. He knew Severus was only trying to help. "How did I get here? All I remember is looking up searching for your face to let you know I was in pain, but I never could get your attention. I didn't even think about mentally talking to you. I started getting this awful ringing in my ears and began seeing white spots in front of my eyes. Then I must have blacked out."

It bothered Severus that he hadn't sensed Harry's unwell state. "When I was scanning the hall, I noticed you looked pale and that you weren't moving so I nudged Professor McGonagall and looked your way. She immediately went over to you and was joined by Madam Pomfrey; the two of them brought you here."

"I seem to have a knack for drawing attention to myself. What was everyone's reaction?" It was going to be a long year if this was going to happen with frequency, and Harry was not at all looking forward to that possibility.

Severus conjured a wet flannel and pressed it against Harry's forehead. "The Gryffindor students were subdued after you left, and with my house hearing about Draco's death, the entire hall was eerily silent during supper. You did miss the introduction of Lucius: you should have seen the looks he received. I do not envy his position in the least."

Neither did Harry. "How did your house react when Draco's death was mentioned?"

"A lot of shocked faces looked up at me, but I believe many of them knew that Draco's death was in retaliation for his father and thought it was a good thing. Death Eater children are raised in a harsh environment and retribution is part of their everyday lives. I don't believe many people knew about Draco being a spy. Crabbe and Goyle looked as if they were about to burst. Their fathers are in with Voldemort over their heads, yet their sons worshiped Draco as if he was some kind of god, thinking he would be their ticket to the good life with Voldemort. If they only knew that Draco was not following Voldemort any longer, but I doubt they had a clue. They of course will take Draco's death hard as they no longer have their little master to tell them what to do; we'll have to watch out for them."

Just what Harry had wanted to hear. If he never saw Crabbe and Goyle again that would be fine with him. "Anything else exciting happen?"

"Albus has decided to reinstate the dueling club. Lucius, Sirius and me will be in charge of it, and there is a sign-up sheet in your common room to sign up,_ if you want."_

Harry had a mental image of second year Dueling Club with Lockhart and Severus, and it made him grin. "Of course I want to join, Severus. I feel much more confident with you three than I did with Lockhart, that's for sure."

Green eyes smiling at him always did something to Severus. What would his students think if they could see him now? "Well, _my little Gryffindor_, you ought to get some more sleep. Madam Pomfrey will be in here at three to give you another dose of the potion. I would love to stay with you, but that is a risk we cannot take at this time."

Yeah, that would be bad if they were caught. "You're right about that, plus, you need to get some real rest, and watching over me all night isn't going to get you that."

Harry did speak the truth. "I will come see you early in the morning, Harry." Severus kissed Harry on the forehead then headed for the door when he heard Harry saying his name.

"Love you, Severus."

"Love you too, Harry."

**~*~**

"Master."

Voldemort stood before the figure currently kissing the hem of his robes and smiled, this was indeed his most faithful servant, even if his plans for her had not worked as they were meant to. "Rise, Athena. You have pleased me greatly; I am guessing she suspects nothing?"

"Correct, My Lord, she suspects nothing."

"Very good... yes, that is indeed good news. You know what has to be done, Athena. She is a liability now; if someone were to somehow get into her mind and open up her memories, that would be very detrimental to our cause, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, Master."

"She must be eliminated. She has served me well and has given me a wealth of information thanks to your encouragement of her continued closeness with Dumbledore. It would be advantageous for me to have her continue her current duties, but the risk in doing so is far too great; she will be taken care of. I am assuming you have no problem with doing this?"

"No, Master. I understand it is necessary."

"You are a wise sister, _Athena,_ very wise indeed. That is all for today; you are dismissed."

**~*~**

Harry woke in time to see the sunrise. He had got out of bed and walked over to the window, but upon hearing footsteps coming his way, he quickly returned to the bed.

"Good morning, Harry. Feeling any better this morning?"

"Much better, thank you, Madam Pomfrey," Harry answered as he pulled up the covers and tried to act as if he had just woke up. He knew he didn't fool her for one second.

"I have brought you some breakfast; try to eat as much as you can because you need to regain your strength."

Harry nodded and had just taken a bite of his toast when black robes swept into the room. Harry grinned. "Do you always have to make such an entrance?"

"Of course. It is what is expected of me, is it not?"

"Yeah... guess it is. Count Dracula has nothing on you."

Severus had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but he figured Harry did and that was all that mattered. He swooped down on his young lover and gave him a kiss, which shocked Harry, who eventually returned the kiss with the same fervor Severus was using.

"I've missed that, Severus. You need to do that more often."

"Indeed." Severus sat on the side of Harry's bed and took a piece of toast, spreading marmalade on it before taking a bite. With his mouth half full, he still managed to speak. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Pretty well, I guess, better than I was, at least. I think Ron and Hermione might come see me after breakfast. I hope that maybe Ginny will come as well; she must be worried just as much as the others; I hate causing so much worry."

Severus kissed Harry on his nose. "You are Harry Potter; everyone worries about you whether you want them to or not. That reminds me, Albus has moved the meeting with you, Ron, Hermione and Neville to Monday evening after dinner."

"Okay. What are your plans for today?" Harry wished that he and Severus could spend the day together but that wouldn't be happening. Pity, that.

"As much as I am not looking forward to it, I must prepare the Potion's lab for the students that will descend upon it Monday morning; that will take me the better part of this morning. I have left open the remainder of the day for you if you do not already have plans."

"No - no plans. Only thing I'm doing is visiting with my friends; getting away for a few hours to rest shouldn't be a problem as I'm supposed to be taking it easy."

"Indeed you are, and just because you and I will be together does not mean I am not making you rest; I am quite anxious for you to heal, quite anxious indeed." Severus winked at Harry as he took another piece of toast.

"Yeah, I think I'll rest then." Harry returned the wink and took the last piece of toast for himself. He had been dreading the beginning of term; he had dreaded how Severus would have to treat him in public. But he wasn't going to allow his worry about what might occur next week to hamper what was happening in the here and now.

"I should be going, Harry. It would not do for us to be caught before lessons begin. I will see you this afternoon. Should I order you lunch, or do you want to eat with your friends in the Great Hall?"

"I guess I should have lunch with them... er, is that okay?"

Severus would never become accustomed to Harry asking permission for the most mundane of things; it was so very wrong, and Severus wished he could have just five minutes with Harry's relatives. "Yes. Harry, I want you to spend as much time with your friends as you possibly can. We will be with each other every night, all night, and we have weekends, not to mention weekdays when we can make time to be alone. Believe me, I am not complaining about you spending time with your friends; I think spending time with them is a wonderful idea. I know you have missed them."

"Yeah, I have, and I can't wait to talk to Ginny. I told you she had gone to Rome for the hols,, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. I am sure she will have a plethora of pictures and other things to show and tell. Please rest and don't get out of bed until Madam Pomfrey releases you." Severus leaned over Harry, gave him a chaste kiss on his soft pink lips, and received the same in return.

"Love you, Severus."

As Severus opened the door, he turned back towards Harry. "You can call me Sev, Harry. I know you want to and I really don't mind."

**~*~**

"There you are; I have been looking everywhere for you. This place is crowded for a Saturday morning."

"Would you like to go someplace a little less crowded?"

"You know me well."

"Yes, that I do."

After the two women exited The Three Broomsticks, they headed towards a new restaurant that had just opened the prior weekend called Wiz's. It was a mild, clear, blue day, which was rather unusual for Scotland in Late August. There were quite a few others out and about, but it seemed everyone for the most part was in doors.

There was a sudden popping noise, causing both women to turn so they could see what had happened, but before the taller woman could fully turn around, a green light encompassed her and forced her to the ground, where she fell lifeless.

Athena gave her sister a final look before Disapparating.

**~*~**

"Harry, what happened last night?" Ron, Hermione and Ginny had all found chairs and were seated around Harry's bed.

"I've been a little under the weather lately, and I just did too much yesterday, I guess." Harry had to make this sound as convincing as possible. His friends knew he had visions of what Voldemort did to his victims, but Harry didn't want them knowing he had witnessed Draco being killed, and then Lucius as he was almost killed. Harry didn't want to think about the two events and wasn't prepared to see his friends feel sorry for him and pity him.

"It's a good thing Professor McGonagall saw what was happening. I didn't know anything was wrong with you until I saw her carrying you out of the hall with Madam Pomfrey at her heels," Ron said, looking more concerned than was his usual.

"Well, it's not like Professor Dumbledore was talking or anything." Harry rolled his eyes at Ron. "Everyone was looking at him, as they should have been, Ron. Don't go feeling bad that you didn't notice. You know how I hate it when you all feel sorry for me when I'm in here."

"Sorry, mate."

"Gin, how is being a Prefect?"

"Pretty cool I guess."

"You should tell me all about your trip, how was Rome?"

"Italian," Ginny smirked.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Meaning?"

"It was amazing, Harry. I'll have to show you the pictures I took; they turned out really well."

"Maybe we can all look at them after supper tonight."

"Sounds like a good idea to me. I hate to run, but Melody and Alan want me to meet them at ten, so I better go. I'm really glad you're feeling better, you had me worried."

_There is that word again...worry...worry...worry. _"See you later, Gin."

After Ginny left, Harry turned towards Ron and Hermione "How are you doing, Hermione?" If Harry kept up the conversation long enough, maybe his friends would ask no further questions regarding his being sick.

"I'm good. My aunt and uncle have me seeing a counselor twice a week. I told them it wasn't necessary, but they felt otherwise. Talking about everything to someone other than family or friends has actually been very helpful."

"I'm glad. Are you and Percy still an item?" Ron rolled his eyes and Harry thought he saw a bit of jealousy. Well, it wasn't as if Ron hadn't had ample opportunity to let Hermione know how he felt.

Hermione smiled. "Yes. We have gone out a few times, and he is the perfect gentlemen."

"Well, good to know you are happy, even if it is with Percy." Ron laughed with Harry, who had made the comment."

"You two should take a few pointers from Percy: he is polite, and courteous."

"Things which I strive never to be, My Lady!"

"Oh shush, Ron."

Ron made a face at Hermione.

The three continued to visit for the next two hours, then Madam Pomfrey released Harry after giving him another phial of the potion. Famished, they made their way to the Great Hall, which was already teeming with students busily chatting and eating. Sitting down they dished up their lunch and ate as if the food would be taken away at any moment. Harry hadn't had an appetite all week, so he knew his being hungry was a good sign.

Most of the teachers were present but there were a few empty spaces. Severus had decided to eat in the Great Hall, and seeing him made Harry smile. Even with the sneer in place, Harry knew what was underneath, and the fact that he was one of the only ones who really knew the man made him feel all warm inside.

Screams echoed from the entrance hall rendering the noisy Great Hall silent. Professor Dumbledore stood and ordered everyone to remain seated, then he went to see what the commotion was about, his wand at the ready. Upon entering the entrance hall, there stood Hagrid, just inside the doorway, a lifeless body in his arms. A group of seventh years had been leaving to go outdoors when they had seen Hagrid carrying someone, and were the ones who had screamed when they realised whom it was Hagrid was holding in his arms.

Harry, Ron and Hermione heard Hagrid's voice as he began to speak loudly, and no matter what the Headmaster had told them, the three were worried about their friend. They ran from their seats and quickly made it into the Entrance Hall, where they stood with mouths hanging open and looks of shock on their faces as they saw Hagrid holding the body of their head of house, Professor McGonagall. Hermione screamed, but the two wizards on either side of her remained silent. Ron just stared and Harry clasped his hands to his mouth and tried to run, but two large pale hands stopped him. Harry was trying to get away; he had to get out of there and he needed to breathe.

"Can't breathe, please let me go... please let me go!"

Madam Pomfrey had by this time beckoned Hagrid to the hospital wing. The Headmaster then ordered everyone to his or her common rooms for further instructions. Professor Dumbledore then spotted Ginny and asked her to remain with him for a word. Then he told Severus to take Harry, Hermione and Ron to his office.

"Mr Potter, once again, you and your friends' abilities to ignore the rules should shock me, but once again, they do not. You three will come with me."

"B... but Professor... that was Professor..." Harry looked behind him.

"**Quiet.** Not another word until we reach my office."

Once they were all in the Potion master's office, Hermione began crying and sat down in a chair that Professor Snape offered her. Ron sat down in the chair beside her, and Harry remained standing behind the two others so that he could look at Severus without his friends seeing him.

Sitting behind his desk, Severus began speaking. "Miss Granger, being Head Girl, we will need you to help with the younger students. Until we know what Professor McGonagall's prognosis is, if she is even still alive, we will need all of the help possible. It is imperative we keep our wits about us, and not become hysterical in front of the younger students. They will look to the staff, to you, and Mr Thomas as Head Girl and Boy, and the Prefects for guidance, and it would be beneficial if you could give them some."

"Yes, sir," Hermione replied, trying to regain her composure.

"Please go to your common room now and inform your house that there will a mandatory meeting for everyone in the Great Hall this evening immediately following dinner. At that time, we will explain what we know. You are dismissed, Miss Granger."

Hermione left Professor Snape's office, no longer crying, but with bloodshot eyes.

"Mr Weasley, you will be expected to help your sister with her Prefect duties until further notice. The two of you will make yourselves available to the younger students who wish to talk about what happened. I do not expect you to counsel them, as you surely haven't the faintest idea as how to do so. I only ask that you listen, and if you think there is something valid that you can contribute to possibly help the situation, then you may share it with them. That is all, Mr Weasley. You are dismissed."

Ron practically ran out of the room, not even remembering that his best friend was still in there.

"What is wrong, Harry?" Severus saw how shaken Harry was and noticed his hands trembling,

"It was her, Severus." Harry's body was trembling almost uncontrollably.

"Pardon me?"

"Professor McGonagall was the one who I saw trying to kill Lucius."

Severus stood up and walked over to Harry then knelt in front of him. "It can't be, Harry. Minerva has always very adamantly opposed the Dark Lord; you should know that."

"I do know that, Sev, but I also know what I saw, and it was her. When I saw her in Hagrid's arms, she was wearing the same dress. I don't know how it could be her, Sev, it makes no sense, but I will take Veritaserum if need be. I know what I saw, Severus."

**~*~**

"There was nothing we could do; she was already dead when she got here. We did, however, find out some interesting information from her autopsy; it seems that her memories have been banished: her mind was empty," Madam Pomfrey explained to the Headmaster while he contacted the Ministry regarding the inevitable investigation that would need to take place.

"Is that a typical occurrence when receiving the killing curse?" Albus asked, knowing it wasn't.

"No. In the few cases known to me, everyone of them had their memories intact when they died," replied Poppy, her voice cracking; she couldn't quite believe that her friend had been murdered.

"Very curious. Someone was afraid of what Minerva knew, but whom and what are the questions we must ask ourselves."

Both knew whom the other was thinking about but neither spoke his name.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Steeling himself for the hours ahead, Severus closed the door and walked down the corridor towards the stairs that would lead him to the Headmaster's office. He hadn't wanted to leave Harry, who was visibly upset, but had no choice – this meeting was mandatory and none of the other Heads of House would be excused for personal reasons, and neither would he. That being the state of things, he had wanted to have Harry stay in Albus's rooms while the meeting was in progress, but Sirius had wisely talked Severus into letting Harry stay with him – he'd said that Harry's presence in the next room would send a mixed message to certain members of staff, and now that Severus was about to enter the _lion's den, _as it were, he had to admit that Black had had a point. Severus could only hope that Sirius Black could accomplish what Severus hadn't been able to in the past few hours.

The realisation that his Head of House was indeed dead and not coming back had finally hit Harry, and he hadn't reacted at all well. When he'd first seen McGonagall in Hagrid's arm's, his only thought had been that his professor was who he had seen in his vision, but after he'd told Severus, the events seemed to replay in his head and he had became quite upset, saying that it was only a matter of time before he or Severus was taken. He had become quite hysterical, but because he had been taking so many different potions, Severus hadn't wanted to add another one, but it was soon apparent he had no choice, and he gave Harry a calming potion.

Harry hadn't acted any more upset than would be expected of a student who just lost a teacher, one with whom he was quite fond, and Severus knew that what Harry was going through was normal, yet he worried. So much had already happened, and he had a feeling this year would not be one for the weary. When Severus had left, Harry had been whimpering and staring at the wall, not saying anything. Severus hoped Sirius could somehow get through to Harry.

When he finally reached the gargoyle, Severus entered the Headmaster's office, which was already occupied by Professors' Flitwick, the Ravenclaw Head of House, and Sprout, Hufflepuff's Head of House. After taking his usual seat, Severus nodded slightly to Albus. Everyone was staring at him as if he had a growth on his nose. Severus sneered, but quickly schooled his face once more into a frown. He had to play nice, and he knew important issues were about to be brought up.

There had been contingency plans set up for just such an occasion as was currently facing Hogwarts: losing a high-ranking member of staff. In such an event, Severus had been delegated the task of ensuring that students under the leadership of the said affected party were given proper guidance. Severus was a take-charge type of person, therefore he was to make certain said house would remain as near their previous state as possible. That is why Severus had chosen Miss Granger and Mr Weasley to help the younger students in Gryffindor.

Most everyone looked up to Hermione; she was, after all, the brightest student Hogwarts had seen in many a year. Ron, while not generally considered one of the smarter students… or even one of the smart students (he was smart, just not in Severus's eyes), he did carry weight: Weasley had been a prominent name at Hogwarts for centuries, and most people would therefore listen to anyone with that surname and follow their lead. Severus knew both seventh years would immediately gain their fellow housemates' trust when they told them that while the current situation was not a good one, everything would return to a sense of normalcy as quickly as possible.

Maintaining calm was Severus's task.

Severus was not considered a calm person, by anyone.

The Potions master was not a calm person, ever.

Severus Snape was one of the calmest people you could ever hope to meet when the situation called for it.

As he and the other Heads of House had completed the implementation of their assigned tasks, they were now meeting to discuss what would happen next; there were immediate concerns that needed resolutions quickly. Being that lessons were to begin on Monday, there was precious little time to ponder possible remedies, and as such, this meeting was going to be quite contentious and stressful. Severus knew this would be a long afternoon and evening. After dinner, the staff would be meeting with the students to inform them of what was happening. Severus tried to prepare himself mentally, and hoped that Harry would be fine for the next few hours.

"I must apologize for my being detained longer than anticipated, Headmaster. Upon completing my responsibilities regarding Minerva's death, I have been visiting with Mr Potter for the remainder of the afternoon. He has given me some rather unsettling news, and he himself was quite unnerved by what he told me. I kept him with me until right before I came here; he is with Black until I am finished." Severus was doing his best to maintain formality in public and in the presence of other staff members, but he needed to let Albus know that Harry was not reacting very well to the day's events.

"May I enquire as to what _Harry_ had to say that unsettled you so much, Severus?" Albus asked, well aware that he was possibly inciting certain staff a bit more than he ought to

Upon hearing the Headmaster refer to Mr Potter as Harry, the other two Heads of House furrowed their brows. Severus couldn't help but notice, but he chose to ignore them and continued. He proceeded to tell the other three what Harry had relayed to him regarding seeing his professor trying to kill Lucius, leaving out the personal references to Harry and his amount of emotion at having to witness these recent events.

The other two Heads of House had not been privy to much of Harry's past dealings with Voldemort, necessitating Severus to give both of them limited background information regarding the Gryffindor's link to Voldemort through the scar on his forehead. He told them about Harry seeing Draco killed, and even mentioned earlier events such as the killing of Hermione Granger's parents.

"Severus, if Harry was able to see Draco being killed and Lucius being almost killed, then how come he did not see what happened to Minerva? It makes no sense to me," said Flitwitck.

"Filius, it is my belief that the Dark Lord is now in full control of the link he shares with Mr Potter. While Voldemort does not have constant contact with Harry through the scar, I believe he can control when and what Harry sees and feels. Harry only has visions of select events; if he had a vision of everything bad the Dark Lord did, then he would have gone insane years ago from the terror." The thought made Severus feel a bit ill.

"That could be possible I suppose. Believing though that it was Minerva who tried to kill Mr Malfoy is not something I am inclined to believe, however. It is too preposterous to consider, Severus." Professor Flitwick's expression was one of mystified indignation that Severus could be voicing these words, ones that a student had told him. "I mean…what did he say? She was wearing the same dress? There could be a handful of women with the same dress – that is not enough to say it was Minerva."

"You are quite correct, Filius," Severus said, almost smiling, just to see the shock on the others' faces,but he was disappointed to note that there were no changes of expression. "If that is all I had to go on, I would not be sitting here telling you this. As I have already mentioned, Harry noticed the dress and that caught his attention but it was not what convinced him Minerva had been the one in his vision. He told me he saw her eyes and that brought back the vision to him, and reconnected the memories that had been Obliviated from his memory, allowing him to remember what he had seen in his vision. He has agreed to talk with anyone who needs to hear what he has to say regarding this, and he has even agreed to take Veritaserum if that is what is needed for him to be believed. Harry was and still is very upset with how this has turned out and I know that he is telling the truth." He almost dared anyone to challenge him or Harry on this. He was already irritated, knowing his two fellow Heads of House thought he was giving Harry preferential treatment. "You both need to understand that I am saying this as a concerned professor for his student and as a concerned co-worker of someone who has been murdered. Whatever Harry and my relationship outside of the classroom, and outside of academia, this has nothing to do with that. Having said that, I will not allow anyone to bring any undo stress to Harry. He has been through quite an ordeal, and no one will be adding to his misery. I will resign my position before I allow that to happen." Severus glared at both of his fellow Heads of House, challenging them to disagree with him.

Albus knew how serious Severus was and knew how important the Potions master was to Hogwarts. The Headmaster would do whatever was necessary to keep the other teachers away from Harry if that was the only way of ensuring Severus's continued employment at Hogwarts.

"Severus, thank you for sharing with us what Harry told you. I can assure you on behalf of the entire staff", the Headmaster gave both professors a look that said this was aimed at the two of them, "that Harry will be_**left alone**_ today and no one will be allowed to upset him. You will be present during any questioning that may be necessary in the future, I assure you." Then he continued in a civil voice. "What you have told me fits with what I have just learned from Poppy. She performed the autopsy on Minerva and found her brain had been tampered with. Her memories were nowhere to be found; either they were removed or repressed to a deeper recess. Minerva was most likely killed because she either failed to complete a mission or because she knew too much, or both. If Minerva had actively and of her own free will been involved with Voldemort, I doubt there would have been a need to Obliviate her. Therefore, it is my belief that she was somehow being forced against her will; it is quite possible she was placed under Imperius. Lucius Malfoy was more than likely also Obliviated after the attack on him; if we can somehow probe his mind, perhaps we will be able to allow the memories of that night to resurface and give Lucius the information he needs in order to confirm what Harry has said."

"How can we be sure we could trust Mr Malfoy?" Filius asked frustration evident in his voice.

Albus sighed, but his eyes masked his agitation. "Filius, I have confidence in Lucius, and if you do not, then you are free to bring that before the board of Governors. I am more than aware that you are not alone in your inability to trust that Mr Malfoy is being honest with us. Now if that is all on that subject, there are other things which we must decide, such as replacements for the openings Minerva's death has left vacant. Severus, I wanted to avoid this situation, but there is no way around it. Will you accept the Deputy Headmaster position?"

Severus wanted to appear surprised, but he couldn't. He had never envied Minerva's position as Deputy Head Mistress and certainly had never coveted it. He was quite content with his Potions and Slytherins, and did not want the added stress that taking on such a position would entail. And now, he had Harry to think about. He wanted to decline the offer, but knew he would eventually accept it. He knew Hogwarts needed a unified staff more than ever now, and the Headmaster trusted him to bring that about. "I would appreciate a day to think about this, Albus. You know my situation this year has a new component. I am worried about Harry and will not be accepting any new duties without discussing this with him first."

"That is quite understandable, Severus. I asked you to take this position because you demand much from your students and will be able to instill in them a sense of authority and respect. There are others whom I feel could fill the position almost as adequately as you would, so please do not feel pressured to accept."

Severus wanted to laugh. Albus had always veiled his wants well. Formally, what Albus had asked was a request, but Severus knew this was nothing less than an appointment. "I will have your answer tomorrow, Headmaster."

"Very well. Now, we need to discuss who will be teaching Transfiguration. I have someone in mind: Sirius Black. He is an Animagus and as all of you know, he specialized in Transfiguration while working for the Ministry of Magic; he is more qualified than anyone else I am aware of."

Severus had to agree with the Headmaster; Sirius had done extensive work while with the Ministry regarding Transfiguration. Having him take Minerva's place was a foregone conclusion in Severus's mind.

Both other Heads of House nodded their heads, but neither spoke.

Albus sensed tension, but that was no less than he had expected. He just wondered how long before something was said. He had a feeling it wouldn't be long. "I will be meeting with Sirius this evening and will offer him the position. That brings me to the final position that needs filling: Gryffindor Head of House. I am tempted to offer this position to Sirius as well. While he is not as structured as the three of you, he has much to offer his students, and would undoubtedly be a great addition to your Heads of House group."

Severus looked panicked as he looked questioningly at the Headmaster. No. He could not do this to Harry.

Albus inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I said I am tempted to do this. However, for the same reason Severus cannot answer today whether or not he will accept the Deputy Head Master position, I cannot ask Sirius to become the head of Gryffindor: he is needed elsewhere."

Both professors' Sprout and Flitwick knew exactly _who _needed Sirius, and were again agitated that he was able to manipulate who was awarded what position. It was Professor Flitwick, who spoke; Professor Sprout seemed not to mind him doing her talking for her since she wanted to ask the same questions.

"Headmaster, pardon me for being so crass, but why does Mr Potter figure so prominently in your decision making? I understand the boy has been through many harrowing experiences this summer, and maybe even further back than that, but he is still a student first and foremost. Why show him any favoritism?" Filius had always admired that Harry had never wanted the fame or adulation, and had always felt close to the boy. He didn't wish his feelings to change, but this was getting a bit much – allowing a mere boy to dictate with such authority.

"I am pleased you asked about that, Filius. There are several reasons for my concern regarding Harry, but if I may be quite blunt for a moment, please allow me. I have caused Harry much distress without realising it. You do not need to know the details, only that Harry has not led the life most of us thought. As a result of his relatives' deaths at the end of last term, Harry has been residing at Hogwarts over the summer holiday, as you both are aware."

Flitwick and Sprout then turned to Severus and then back to the Headmaster. Severus felt uneasy; his fellow Heads of House had never accepted his and Harry's relationship. He had thought originally they were upset because of him, but it had been discovered that the two held equal animosity towards both Harry and himself. Most of the staff had come to accept Severus and Harry's unusual circumstances, but these two never had.

Albus cleared his throat to detract the other two from staring at Severus. "Harry is one of my students, and as such, is my responsibility. It is true he and Severus are involved in a most unusual situation, and of course, I expect not everyone will understand. I have condoned the relationship, and you know exactly why; I need not repeat what was said in our initial staff meeting of a few weeks ago. Harry has had a most disconcerting summer, and if I am somewhat over indulgent in making certain he is looked after, then so be it. Until you have walked in Harry's shoes, please do not make assumptions you have no business making. We are doing what is best for Harry, I assure you. Regarding Sirius, if he were to become Head of Gryffindor, and if Severus were to become the Deputy Head Master, then Harry would be vulnerable. I do not ask the two of you to understand, because it is a complicated situation. I only ask that you trust me on this: Harry must not be left alone."

Filius wasn't at all convinced, yet he had to appease Albus… to a point. "Perhaps there is more than meets the eye; that is quite obvious, but why condone his and Severus's relationship? How do we know they are truly soul mates? They could just be saying that, Headmaster."

"Filius, you know why this relationship is being condoned, and you know very well they are not just saying that they are soul mates. I will not repeat myself. There is no way I am reversing my previous decision, so please refrain from bringing this up again ;we have far more important matters to discuss."

"Are you at least going to offer the position to Sirius? I think he should make the decision himself," Filius added, unable to stop himself, and not really wanting to. No matter how good of a person Harry was, and Filius did adore the boy, he was that: a student and should definitely not be the reason all of this was being allowed to happen.

Albus was losing his patience. "I think I will, if only to appease your curiosity of this situation." He really did have no choice; he couldn't afford for these two to garner sympathy from any other staff members. It was difficult enough in this room Albus turned and glanced at Severus, trying to ascertain what his mood was, and he was unsurprised to see that he didn't look at all happy..

Severus didn't miss the sideways appraisal, and frowned. He wanted to go see Harry, and his head was beginning to hurt from the back and forth bickering. "Headmaster, I only have one thing to add to what has already been mentioned here." At Albus's nod, Severus looked pointedly at the other two wizards. "I fully trust Lucius Malfoy now, but it is amazing to me that adults, no matter how dodgy their pasts, for the most part, always seem to insight trust and believability, while the opposite can be said for younger people. Why is it so hard to believe Harry could be telling the truth? With what the Headmaster has told us regarding Minerva's memory, it is quite apparent she was not working under her own accord. It is not as if we are saying Minerva purposefully tried to kill Lucius Malfoy. Just because she was the one used to instigate this act does not mean she was a bad person at all. If you could get past that, then perhaps you could realise this must be dealt with so it does not happen again. If that is all, Headmaster, I should be getting back to _Harry_," Severus added, making certain he was looking at Flitwick and Sprout (who must have come down with the inability to speak) as he said the name of his… yes… soul mate. He grinned and didn't try to hide it. Acting childish? Oh yes, and Severus was enjoying himself, something he did little of these days.

"I am finished with what I had to say," Albus added before Severus could make any further disparaging faces. "I will see the three of you at supper; Severus, a quick word, if you please?" Albus added, dismissing the other two.

After the other two Heads of House left, Severus returned to his seat.

"I believe we need to inform Harry about Minerva's involvement, Severus; he is upset, I assume, because he does not want to believe his Head of House could have done such a thing?"

"Yes, that is a large part of it, Albus."

"Will you go get him and bring him back to my office? He deserves to know what is going on."

"Yes, Headmaster." Severus left without saying a word. Harry would be immensely relieved to hear what he would be told, but it wouldn't erase the fact that she was dead now. Harry had suffered so much loss already this summer, and this was another blow to his already deflated spirit. Severus was at a loss: how could he make this situation any more bearable for his young Harry? In short, he couldn't, but he would do everything in his power to try to make it so.

Severus entered the bedroom and shook his head, unsurprised and disheartened. Sirius was sitting on the bed by Harry, who was lying down facing the other wall. Sirius looked sadly at Severus and shook his head. Severus beckoned the other to join him in the sitting room. "How is he?" he asked after shutting the door to the bedroom.

"He hasn't spoken two words since you left. I have talked to him about anything that I could think of, but haven't been able to garner any response from him. He called out your name a couple of times and I heard him crying. I tried picking him up and rocking him but he became rigid when I tried, so I stopped; I feel so helpless."

At least Severus wasn't alone in that respect. "You and me both. The Headmaster wants to talk to Harry. We have some news for him that should help him somewhat. I am going to take him to the Headmaster's office." Sirius nodded and walked back into the bedroom with Severus, who picked up Harry and went to the fireplace to Floo to the Headmaster's office. "We will be back soon."

With a pop, both Severus and Harry entered Albus's office. Severus took Harry to the sofa and placed him underneath the blanket the Gryffindor had been wrapped in. Looking sadly at the Headmaster, Severus sat beside Harry's small silent figure.

"Harry, love, the headmaster needs to talk to you. We have some news you need to hear."

Harry opened his eyes, which were red and puffy, and raised his head up just enough to see the Headmaster.

"Hello, Harry. I had Severus bring you here so I could tell you that Professor McGonagall was not working under her own powers when she tried to kill Lucius. Madam Pomfrey performed the autopsy earlier, and the results showed that someone had tampered with her brain, either removing her memories, or repressing them. We were both mystified as to why this would be, but when Severus told me what you had told him, it all began making sense. Harry, I believe someone, and all three of us know who, was in control and caused Professor McGonagall to do what she did in your vision. Even with her memory being Obliviated, I am thinking the possibility of someone finding out what had happened was too great a risk, therefore she was eliminated. I know her death has hit you hard, and I am sorry for that, but I did want you to know that she was not bad at all. She was an unfortunate victim; I needed you to know that."

Harry sat up. ""We are all pawns to _him_, sir, and no matter what we want to do, he does with us what he wishes. This will never end, Headmaster. We must find out how this happened to Professor McGonagall; someone had to gain her trust, but who? She was not someone that trusted easily, so who could it be?"

Albus almost said this was nothing Harry needed to concern himself with, but thought better of it. Harry needed something to focus his attention on, and keeping him from helping in this situation could end up being detrimental to the young wizard. "I don't know, Harry. Minerva was quite reclusive when it came to associating herself with anyone other than the staff here at Hogwarts, or her sister, Athena."

Severus took another look at Harry, and cleared his throat. He had been asked to bring Harry here for a reason and now that there was nothing further to be gained by keeping him here, Severus was ready to take him back to where he would be comfortable. "Harry, we should probably leave the Headmaster to his work; I know he has a meeting to get in before supper and the student body meeting afterwards."

If Albus were wearing a hat, he'd tip it to Severus, who was very good at getting what he wanted, but that had come only after years of never getting anything, so the tradeoff was not such a lucrative or enviable one. Nevertheless, Albus gave Severus a slight nod, then looked at Harry. "Yes, I am about to meet with Lucius, and will be meeting with Sirius after our student body meeting. Would one of you please ask Sirius to meet me after the students are dismissed?"

A few minutes later found Harry and Severus walking to the dungeons in silence. Harry felt much better knowing that his Head of House wasn't working under her own devices when she had attempted to kill Lucius, but knowing that _Voldemort _could succeed in gaining control of such a powerful witch as Minerva had been, gave him reason to be concerned. If this happened to Minerva McGonagall, it could happen to Severus.

Entering Severus's sitting room, Harry and Severus sat on the sofa. "You haven't said a word since we left Albus's office, Harry. What are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to figure out how _he _could have gained control of Professor McGonagall. She was far too smart, Severus; she would've never done anything to compromise herself."

Severus sighed. "As Albus mentioned, Minerva watched her step everywhere she went and trusted virtually no one outside of Hogwarts."

"You don't think her sister could have somehow been involved with _him _and lured her into _his_ web?" Harry asked, a bit more animation in his voice now.

"No, I have never seen her sister at any Death Eater meetings, and would know if she was one. Also, if you met Athena, you would understand how she and her sister were so close; they shared a mutual hatred of _him_. She would not be involved in that circle."

"I don't know, Sev, _he'_s not stupid; I don't believe all of his plans are known. I am not saying Professor McGonagall's sister had anything to do with what happened, but you must admit, she'd be the perfect person to get Minerva."

"I suppose you have a point. I am sure Albus has thought along the same lines. I have learned with _him _that nothing is out of the realm of reason. It is just not something I can really believe, having seen her and Minerva together."

"Appearances can be quite deceiving, Severus. You are proof of that."

Severus inclined his head in acknowledgement of a very true statement. "Point taken; I will have a talk with Albus tomorrow morning about Athena." Severus really didn't think this would lead anywhere, but it was worth looking into, and it would appease Harry.

Standing, Harry stretched his back. "I've been moping around for far too long; it's time I get over it, yeah? Life can suck dragon eggs, but that isn't reason for me to act the part of a zombie. Sorry about that. I'm going to see if Sirius needs any help; he was going to move his things when he left here, so I guess that is what he's doing. Maybe I can help him before we go down to supper."

As happy as Severus was to see Harry this way, he tempered his response. No need to let on that Harry had worried him to near death. "If you want to stay there tonight since it is his first night there, please do. The two of you more than likely have some catching up to do, and besides they are _your_ rooms."

Yes, Harry understood that, but _his rooms_ didn't mean much of anything to him. The only rooms he was concerned were the ones he had been staying in for more than a month. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Severus? Sirius and I do have some catching up to do, but we can do that anytime. My rooms are with you. I don't want to sleep anywhere but our bed, and our bed is anywhere you are. I know we talked about this already and had decided I needed to move back to my rooms and sleep there, but if I promise to be on my best behavior once lessons begin, may I stay with you at night? I'm doing much better, but I'll need to be reassured at night that we, you and I, are really going to get through this year." Okay, that had been more than a bit pathetic, even to Harry's ears, but just maybe it would work.

Severus would have normally received that last statement as a coy display of fun-loving affection from his young Harry, and that is probably how Harry meant it, but Severus knew all too well how serious Harry's words had been. He would have to reassure Harry repeatedly of his love; it was not some game the two of them were playing in order to spend more time together: it was a reality and necessity for the two if they were going to get through the year.

Even with Harry seeming to have perked up somewhat, Severus was looking into the same scared, innocent and confused eyes he had looked into when he found Harry by the Whomping Willow. Severus had watched Harry grow in mind and spirit over the summer, yet in one week all of the progress had vanished. Harry again resembled the scared and starved for love young man Severus had cried over two months prior. Severus would do whatever it took to get his Harry back. He nodded. "I think that would be acceptable, now go see Sirius, oh and will you please remind him to meet with Albus after the student body meeting? I'll see you in the Great Hall."

Not a minute later, Harry entered his sitting room and was greeted with a pile of clothes almost directly in front of the door entrance. "Sirius?" He could hear his godfather unpacking, or at least that is what it sounded like.

"Hey, Harry, Just trying to unpack."

"Yeah, I see; need any help?"

"No, I've got it. You sound better than you were when I saw you last. You scared me, Harry," Sirius said as he walked into the sitting room and picked up the pile of clothes while he appraised his godson to see what his current state-of-being was: it seemed as though he changed from second to second these days, and that couldn't be good. At least he looked and sounded much better. His eyes alone gave Sirius hope, but all it would take was another bout of bad news and it would all begin anew. That gave Sirius serious pause, but he was thankful that he was here for Harry. Perhaps he could now make up for not being around for the first part of Harry's life.

Harry nodded and smiled apologetically. "I think I scared Severus, as well. I feel better now that I have talked to Professor Dumbledore. Speaking of, Severus asked me to tell you to find Dumbledore when the students are dismissed."

Very interesting, only not, because Sirius had a suspicion what the meeting with Dumbledore would be about. He had waited a long time for such an opportunity, but he hadn't wanted it to happen this way. He noticed Harry looking at him oddly, so he shrugged his shoulders. "It probably has to do with the Dueling Club."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

After the last dessert disappeared, there was little noise in the Great Hall, which was, in itself, quite a feat: When more than two-hundred and eighty students were congregated, the likelihood of controlled chaos was about as good as could be expected. This night, however, was vastly different from most evenings at Hogwarts: One of their professors had been killed, and the students were waiting on Headmaster Dumbledore to tell them what had happened. The tension in the air was palpable; everyone seemed to sense that this had something to do with _He Who Must Not Be Named_ and conversations could be heard with the whisperings of his name from every corner of the castle.

The Headmaster entered the large room and perused the hall, getting a sense of the mood. He had decided it was best to be truthful with his students, but he didn't want to begin a panic. They had a right to know what was going on, but until he knew exactly what that was, he would have to tell the students what little he did know.

What little sound there had been before the Headmaster entered, died down to nothing within seconds. Albus pushed up his spectacles so they'd rest on his upper nose and took a shallow breath, knowing that nothing at this point would help him with what he had to say. Careful to keep his voice calm, he began: "Students, this has not been an easy day for any of us here at Hogwarts, and as difficult as it is to tell you, it is something you all need to know: Professor McGonagall's body was found in Hogsmeade earlier this afternoon, and she died soon after. We do not know what happened. I believe it should be obvious whom we suspect, but I must emphasize to you all that there is no proof of this. Because of this uncertainty, and until we get definitive proof either way, all Hogsmeade visits will be canceled."

There was the expected murmur of disappointment, but everyone seemed to understand the reasoning; it simply wasn't safe to leave the grounds of Hogwarts.

"I will not keep anything from you, my students. _He Who Must Not Be Named_ is somewhere out there waiting for the opportunity to strike. He is in hiding, but I do not know for how long. In the past, we have kept the details from the students, feeling it was in the best interest to keep the disturbing facts away from you, but I think if your parents are entrusting your safety to me and the staff here at Hogwarts, then we owe you the truth. This school is the safest place for any of you, and while you are on Hogwarts grounds, you will remain safe. Please remember that, all of you."

He went on to announce that Sirius Black would be taking over the Transfiguration classes. The Headmaster had asked Sirius before the meeting about taking the position. Sirius had agreed to teach the class, but only after he had talked to Albus for a half-hour. When Sirius was introduced to the students, the reaction was mixed: Most of the Gryffindors were excited; they knew about Sirius from Harry, but the remainder of the students gasped at having a former Azkaban prisoner as their teacher. The Headmaster assured everyone Sirius had been cleared, and that, in fact, he had been framed for that which he spent twelve years in Azkaban for.

One of the last announcements, one that Albus made very clear that he was serious about, centered around respecting Professor Malfoy's privacy regarding his son's death. For someone who had never cared what others thought of him, Lucius was now paranoid, and he had every right to be. Albus had seen the looks of the students and heard whispers as he returned to his office after the Welcoming Feast, and he wanted to ensure that Lucius wouldn't be approached by anyone enquiring about Draco. He made it clear that any student who disregarded this request would report to him immediately.

**~*~ **

"Did you know about Sirius teaching Transfiguration?" Ron asked as he and Harry stood to leave.

"He hadn't said anything to me," and he probably wouldn't have, Harry thought as he shrugged his shoulders.

"It's going to be bloody brilliant with him as our teacher, Harry. Sirius is so cool!" Ron exclaimed, seeming far more excited than a seventeen year old had a right to about anything having to do with school.

Harry made a face. Was this his best mate? The one who could care less about going to lessons, who would do anything to avoid going? "Yeah... Ron, now that he'ss a professor, I wouldn't let him hear you say that. He has a hard enough time being strict with me. We wouldn't want to ruin his image, would we?" Harry was only half-serious. He was as excited as Ron.

"Yeah, guess you're right. Still, it should be fun this year. It is horrible what happened to McGonagall, but—" Ron stopped when Harry glared at him. "What? I was only going to say—"

"Ron, do yourself a favor and stop; just stop. We all know how you felt about her as a teacher, but now isn't the time to discuss that. Yeah. You'll probably do loads better now with Sirius, but I'd rather McGonagall were still here."

"Hey, you two, wait up." Hermione ran to catch up with Harry and Ron, and had no idea of the hint of unease she was walking into, but it didn't take her long to catch on by the expressions on Ron's and Harry's faces. "What's wrong?" she asked Harry.

Harry shook his head as Ron responded, although not to answer her question. "What were you doing back there that was so important?" asked Ron, looking behind him and seeing Neville walking by himself.

"For your information, Ron, I was talking to Neville."

Both Ron and Harry looked at Hermione, willing her to continue "...And?" both wizards at the same time asked.

"He looked really down, so I went over and asked him if he was okay. He said he was, but something is bothering him. I wonder if it has anything to do with our meeting Monday night with the headmaster?"

"Hermione... er... how did you know Neville was one of the students that had gotten a letter from the Headmaster?" Harry asked, a bit disconcerted; the know-it-all, at times, really did, or so it seemed. Truthfully, Hermione was simply far more aware of her surroundings and paid attention, something that Harry did little of, and he knew Ron was the same.

"I saw it; he was holding it in his hand. I didn't say anything, but it was the same as my letter looked. Neville had a tight grip on it and he was evasive. Did you know that Neville was going to be at the meeting with us Monday night?"

Harry briefly met Ron's eyes. He couldn't exactly tell Hermione that both he and Ron knew what was going on… well he could, but it would be better if she waited and found out from Dumbledore. "Yeah, I did. Professor Dumbledore told me."

"You know why Neville was upset. You're not telling me something, Harry. What is it?"

"You'll find out Monday night. I can't say anything. I promised." Harry wished for an easy escape but didn't see one. Hermione on the war-path to find out information was never a good thing. Harry gave Ron another look and sighed, but he hoped Hermione hadn't seen.

"Harry James Potter, I deserve to know what is going on. You know I would tell you if the situation were reversed."

"No, Hermione, you wouldn't. Look, I would tell you if I could, but it isn't my place, and I did promise not to say anything to anyone." So far so good, but Harry didn't hold out much hope of Hermione letting this go.

"You've changed, Harry," Hermione said, rather dejectedly. "Last year you would have been telling me everything you knew without a second thought." She thought about saying more on the subject, but then thought better of it. Harry had been through a quite an ordeal the past few months and if he didn't want to talk about it, then so be it. Hermione would find out soon enough what was going on. "Did either of you notice that Snape looked nervous? He looked different. I saw him glance your way a few times, Harry. They think Vo—"

"Don't say his name," Harry said, rather huffily.

"Why?" asked Hermione, looking at Ron.

Harry replied. "I'll explain later, just don't say his name."

"Er, okay. But they think he is coming after you, don't they?"

"Yeah, but that's not exactly news, Hermione. He's been after me since first year. I am sick and tired of letting him ruin my life. If he wants me, he's going to have to find a way to come and get me. But seriously guys... we are safe, and I have something else to keep me safe as wel." Harry lifted his robe-sleeve to reveal a sleeping Sapiens coiled up around his upper arm. "I'll tell the two of you more about him later, maybe tomorrow when we can go somewhere private."

Ron was staring at the snake in awe. "Harry, that snake is poisonous."

"He won't bite me; I'm his master," Harry replied as he covered the snake once again, careful not to let anyone see him. Everyone would see him soon enough, but Harry wanted to keep Sapiens a secret for as long as possible.

"Ron, we better hurry if we don't want to be late for the meeting with the Prefects; Ginny will never let us hear the end of it if we walk in late."

**~*~**

Lucius entered his rooms, took off his cloak, and poured himself a cup of tea; his nerves were on edge: he was playing a dangerous game and wasn't sure he would live to see this year out. He was aware that he wasn't welcomed at Hogwarts; he was only here because he could be of use to Dumbledore, but the man surely would not ever trust him. Lucius mused how only a week earlier he had been Voldemort's closest advisor. Voldemort would definitely never give him another chance, but acceptance by Voldemort was not at all what Lucius was after; all he needed was to hear what was going on. If he could gain certain people's trust, perhaps he could begin to atone for his past actions. It was a roll of the dice; what he was about to attempt was a strategic chess move; his next move with the Death Eaters was going to be like getting the Quaffle by the best keepers in the world. He was up to the challenge, especially now that he had another reason to get back at the vile creature that he had worshiped for much of his life.

Much to Lucius's disgust, Narcissa had been taken into Ministry custody earlier in the week. He hadn't believed that she could be the one behind ratting him out, but she had and now Lucius felt nothing but hatred towards his estranged wife; she had killed their son, and for that, Lucius would never forgive her, even as he knew that she had probably been as much a victim as he: Voldemort had his ways of getting his followers to do what he wanted them to do. Still, what she had done to their son was unthinkable, unimaginable, and unpardonable.

Even as it had been a facade to the outside world, as well as to them, the Malfoys had been a seemingly happy family of three until the prior week. Now Lucius's son was dead, buried next to the elder Malfoy's grandparents; his wife was in a holding cell waiting to be sentenced to Azkaban; and Lucius was hiding at Hogwarts under the guise of teaching. He would be an excellent teacher, that he had no doubt about, but ultimately he was doing it for protection… protection from Voldemort, but it was also protection from his own thoughts that seemed to run rampant when he was alone. As long as he kept busy, he wouldn't have time to sit around and think about his son.

**~*~**

"Harry, I need to talk to you."

Harry put down the book he'd been reading and looked at Severus, sensing uneasiness in the strained voice. What was wrong now? Harry had to stop himself from panicking; it was probably nothing. He joined Severus on the sofa. "What happened?"

"Nothing is wrong, Harry, I just need to discuss something important with you."

"Okay," but it was a weak okay. Something was wrong, no matter what Severus said, and Harry wasn't at all sure he wanted to hear what it was.

"Albus offered me the Deputy Headmaster position."

As far as _wrongs_ went, this was a fairly good _wrong_; not great, but good. "You'll accept then?" There was no doubt that Severus would, and Harry wouldn't want it any other way, but he did know what that would mean. He tried to keep the frown from appearing, but it did, and he watched as Severus did the same.

"I don't want to, Harry."

"But you will." And Harry knew he had sounded pathetic with that statement; he hadn't meant to sound as such; he really did want Severus to accept.

"No, Harry... I won't." Severus meant it. What he was hearing in Harry's voice was all he needed to make up his mind. Nothing would ever be more important than Harry.

The Harry of old would have accepted that and been happy and not thought about it again. This new Harry, however, thought of others a bit more than in the past. "You have to, Severus. I don't fancy you being taken away from me any more than you have to, and if I were to be completely honest, I don't want you taking on these new duties, but you're the only one truly qualified, and I know with you, everyone here is in good hands. I really don't wish to see what Flitwick or Sinistra would do with the position. And of course, these are dark times and there is no one better than you to get us through those."

"I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not, but I'll take it as such. "I told Albus I would give him my answer tomorrow."

"What do _you_ want to do, Severus?"

"Harry, it's not about what I want anymore; I think you, me, and Albus all know that."

Harry moved closer to Severus, wrapped his arms around his neck, and brought their faces together so that their foreheads were touching. "I want you to accept, Severus."

"You know this is going to keep me busy and I am not going to be able to spend as much time with you as I would like."

"I know. I'll be okay, Sev; I've got Sirius to keep me company when you are busy. Don't worry so much."

_"_True, andonce lessons begin, you will be with your friends, so that will be good for you."

"Plus I will have loads of homework which will keep me busy. Sev, I really will be fine."

"I know, Harry, I just worry." And he had reason to. He knew Harry hadn't seen the end of the visions; it was only a matter of time.

"Well, don't." Harry pressed his lips against Severus's and got up on his knees so he was straddling Severus. "Want you... need you, Sev."

"Severus pulled away from Harry slowly. "I will always worry about you, Harry," he whispered as he began kissing Harry's shoulders and then moved to his neck. "How do you feel… and the truth, please." Severus continued giving his young lover love bites as he waited for Harry to answer him.

Harry was becoming highly aroused, making him feel very good. "I feel fine, Sev. I haven't felt this good since before Draco—" Harry swallowed.

_I'm okay. I'm really okay. I can't do this every time I think about seeing Draco and what happened to him._ Harry smiled weakly. "Sev, I promise, if I wasn't ready, I would tell you. I feel perfectly fine; there is no way you can hurt me. Please make love to me."

"Okay, Harry, you win, but I am in total control, and what I say goes, no matter what, understood?"

Harry gave Severus one of his boy-ish grins that Severus wished he didn't have to see; it reminded him of how young Harry was, and how old he was.

_"You are not old, Sev."_

_"Old enough..."_

_"To be my lover and soul mate, not to mention best friend. If you keep saying you are too old for me then I can say I am too young for you... what would a mature, sophisticated and intelligent man, like yourself, want with me: ruddy, immature Harry Potter?"_

"Is that the best you can do, Harry? Well, _ruddy and immature _Harry Potter, I want you because you compliment me in every way; you are my other half and I cannot imagine living without you. Need I go further?" Severus then thought about what he'd said. How is it that he had said those words? The bond… Severus sighed. He'd have to accept it, just as he had already accepted Harry. And it wasn't as if he didn't feel and think these things that he had said, it was only that they seemed so sentimental and romantic: two things that Severus was not.

"Maybe later." Harry smiled. "That will do for now." There was a knock on the door. Harry groaned; he should have known that something would end up interrupting what was about to happen.

Severus knew it was Sirius and that he had come to talk to Harry. After dislodging a frowning Harry from his lap, Severus opened the door with his wand and pointed towards a chair glancing wearily at Sirius. Harry was disappointed he and Severus had been interrupted, but he'd forgive his godfather.

Sirius looked tired and upset as he sat down. He hoped he'd made the correct decision; his talk with Albus hadn't gone as the Headmaster had expected, and Sirius wasn't looking forward to explaining his reasons again for the decision he had made. Before Minerva's death, when Sirius was merely going to be assisting with Defence Against the Dark Arts and heading up the Dueling Club, he had felt at peace for the first time in a long while. Even as he found himself practically a prisoner behind the walls of Hogwarts, he was much happier than he had been for the previous two years when he had been able to travel freely as an Auror. Minerva's death had changed Sirius's peaceful existence. "I just met with Albus, Harry. He offered me the Gryffindor Head of House."

"He what? Are you serious? You did say yes, didn't you?" And this reaction, unlike his previous one when Severus had announced his news, left no doubt that Harry really was happy and excited about this.

"I did. So, you're happy about this?" Well, honestly, Sirius should have known that this would be how Harry reacted.

"Why wouldn't I be? Now I have an excuse to be in Gryffindor Tower more. If I can't spend time with Sev or you, then I at least want to be with my friends, and since you will be staying there, I will be able to spend time there as well."

Harry may have been happy, but Severus certainly was not. With both him and Sirius having full-time positions, what was that going to mean for Harry? Severus had made a promise to himself to keep an eye on Harry as much as he could, and now he was finding that was going to be more difficult than he had anticipated. He glared at Sirius and exasperatedly looked at Harry. "Harry, I need to speak to Sirius."

Harry thought he knew what Severus was going to say, and he wanted to stay, but Severus had an expression on his face letting Harry know this was not something that would be happening.

"Okay, fine... I'll leave, but no shouting from either of you, or I'm leaving, and don't think I won't." Harry went into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Severus stood and walked over to Sirius "Albus never wanted you to take the position, Sirius; he only asked because Sprout and Flitwick pressured him. He knew Harry would need you. Damn it, Sirius, why couldn't you have said no?"

"Severus, do you want to see if Harry was bluffing just now? Because if you keep shouting I am sure we will find out; keep your voice down. I am well aware of why I was asked; Albus told me everything. Now if you will allow me to explain, I will."

Severus glared at Sirius.

"Harry's reaction startled me just now when he mentioned being with his friends because that is the entire purpose of me taking on this position, Severus. You and I both know Harry needs to be with one of us as often as possible, but we should also be aware of his friends and what they will think if he's not allowed to spend time with them as often as he has in the past. Harry is getting better but he is not back to where he should be yet, and we both know that. I don't want his friends knowing just how affected Harry has been by everything; he has had to deal with enough without having his friends wondering about his mental stability. We need things to remain as normal as possible for him, and have you forgotten that that evil creature who has ruined our lives is still out there somewhere lurking in the shadows? I fear for Harry, Severus, and think him being surrounded by his friends and in a secure environment will be far more productive for him than sitting down here in the dungeons waiting for you. If I were not working, then he could stay with me while not in lessons, which would be wonderful, but it wouldn't be with his friends. And... do you really want Harry turning to someone else, because you know there is someone who would be more than happy to spend time with Harry. Come on, Severus, you know as well as I do that Lucius would love the chance to weasel his way into Harry's life. I'm not saying he has any ill-intentions anymore, but he just lost his son and he is going to be lonely. If Harry needs a friend, Lucius would be happy to fill that role. I know you trust Lucius, but I don't. Severus, we are all trying to do what we think best for Harry, but exactly what that is, we can only guess. Whatever you thought of James, or think of me, Harry's father asked me to take care of his son if he couldn't; I am just trying to do what he asked me to do, and I don't know how else to do it. I love Harry as do you. We both only want what is best for him. I hope you can understand my reasoning for what I did, but if not, then...." Sirius left the remainder of his thought unspoken.

He had accepted the offered position immediately upon it being offered because he'd been worried about Harry being kept from his friends, but it had never occurred to him that anyone would be upset with him and think he was being irresponsible for taking the position. He was trying to be civil with Severus for Harry, and the two had even become somewhat tolerant of the other's presence for prolonged periods. Now Sirius felt as if he had messed up; he felt like a berated child, but he knew he'd done the right thing.

Severus wasn't sure how he should feel; it was all so confusing. "About you taking the Gryffindor Head of House position, you are correct: Harry does need to be with his friends. All I could think about was having you be there for Harry when I was not available, and never once did I give a thought as to what Harry would need. You must forgive my near-sightedness when it comes to Harry. I worry about him, Sirius, constantly. There is not a minute that goes by that I am not thinking how he is coping. Knowing that I will have to be away from him more than I had anticipated is tearing me apart. He may have grown to depend on me this summer, but I will tell you, I depend on him just as much. He is everything to me, Sirius, and I will do whatever I have to in order for him to be safe and happy. For what it is worth, I do think you made the right decision, and I know you did it for Harry. Thank you."

Sirius nodded and allowed a small smile. "For what it's worth, now that I have removed myself somewhat from the situation, Severus, I can see that you and my godson are meant for each other. He loves you, and I know you love him. As his godfather, I guess I must thank you for helping him, especially when he thought I was dead. If I think about that, it upsets me because I know how much grief I caused him; it is the same grief I suffered when his parents died. I never want to feel that way again."

"Nor do I." Severus cleared his throat and stood. "I guess we should let Harry back in now that we are okay?" Sirius nodded and Severus went to open the bedroom door and found Harry asleep, his small body curled up by the door.

Sirius saw Harry was asleep and motioned to Severus that he was leaving.

Severus picked up Harry and carried him to their bed, took off his shoes and clothes, then tucked him in and kissed him on his scar before changing into his own nightclothes.

It had been a long and exhausting day for everyone; losing Minerva was going to create quite a stir in the school. Severus hoped everyone, him and Harry included, was up to dealing with what was to come.

Making sure Harry was taken care of, as well as the other students, had kept Severus busy and unable to allow his mind to wonder. That was a good thing, because if he had stopped and taken a minute to think about the events of the day, it all might have been too much and he might not have been able to maintain his ability to reassure everyone.

Minerva had been one of Severus's most trusted friends, at least for a brief time, long ago. Even when Severus was a student at Hogwarts, Minerva had watched out for him; she knew his life had been less than ideal. She had kept her distance because Severus shied away from anyone who tried to help him besides the Headmaster, but she'd made it known to the troubled youth that she was always there if he needed anything.

Whenever Severus had begun teaching at Hogwarts, and spying, the Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor was the first person besides Albus to approach him; Severus never forgot that. She was also the one who broke through Severus's emotional walls: the ones he had built around himself after going through the events that had led to him joining the Dark Lord. Severus had withdrawn further into himself after beginning his teaching duties, and Minerva knew the troubled young man had been holding back something. She pleaded with him to tell her what was bothering him.

Somehow, she was able to gain his trust enough so that he told her everything, about the rapes, the beatings, the tortures, the taunts, and everything else. He had not cried once throughout telling this to Minerva; his tears were long since gone, but talking to someone had been enough for him then. The feelings of worthlessness still crept up often, but he had known there was someone he could talk to if he needed someone to listen.

Severus finally fell asleep, but it was not restful. Knowing that one of his mentors was gone upset Severus and caused him to dream about his days as a Death Eater.

He woke up a few hours later in a cold sweat. Looking at Harry and making sure he was asleep, Severus went into the sitting room and sat on the sofa. _What am I doing with him? I am Voldemort's son. I cannot possibly endanger someone I love so much because of my blood. I love him too much to hurt him though._

Severus knew he would hurt Harry either way. If he pushed Harry away, the Gryffindor would retreat and slide back into his depression. If he and Harry remained together, Voldemort would find some way to take Severus away from his young lover. That bastard would never allow his son to be happy with the one who had caused him to lose his body.

Severus heard footsteps and looked at Harry, who was rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing out here, Sev?"

"Thinking."

Harry didn't say anything. If Severus wanted to expound on what he had said, he would. Harry sat down and leaned his head against the warm chest next to him. "If you want to talk, I'm here."

"You wouldn't understand. That bastard is my fucking biological father, Harry... he screwed around with my fucking life... and now here I am...."

Harry was startled at the sudden outburst, but at least he now knew what was bothering Severus. He didn't know what to say, or what he should do. "You are not his son, Severus. You may have his blood running through your body, but that is the only connection."

Severus took one of Harry's hands in his and kissed a finger. "Until he decides he wants me back, Harry. Do you really think he is going to let me or the others get away from him? I don't know whom he wants more Harry: Lucius, Sirius, you, or me. We will never be rid of him."

"_When and if_ he comes back and makes his presence known, he will be killed once and for all. I will make sure of it."

"You will do no such thing, Harry. I'm not letting you get anywhere near him, ever again."

Was he serious? Harry almost began to laugh, but he stopped himself. "Everyone has always told me that I was the one who would save the wizarding world, that I would be the one to finally end his reign of terror. Now, you are telling me not to go near him. What the fuck am I supposed to do, Sev? Huh? Can you tell me?"

Severus took a deep breath. "Of course we'll be the ones to finally kill him; it is our joint destiny, after all. I just wish it were not so. And I know he is not really my father, but it makes me sick to think that his blood is in me; it doesn't bother you?"

Truth? It did, a little. "I love you, Severus, all of you. Whose blood you have coursing through your body makes no difference to me, and since we are talking about carrying around parts of him in us, how about the Parseltounge? He gave that to me when he tried to kill me. So, we both have some of him in us. What does bother me is how this upsets you. Until now you haven't said anything about this. I have been so wrapped up in my own troubles that I guess I didn't stop to think you were hurting as well."

"Believe me, Harry, this is the first time I have really thought about my situation regarding him. I think it just came out today because of what happened to Minerva. As I've told you, she was the only person besides Albus who truly accepted me and tried to help me when I began spying for the Order and working here. I woke up earlier and came in here to think about everything: Minerva, Voldemort, and you and me."

"What conclusions did you come to regarding us?"

Severus looked very intently into Harry's eyes. "That I could never leave you, no matter how much I wanted to protect you."

"Severus, you are protecting me while you are with me. If you left… I don't even want to think about that."

Severus pulled Harry into his lap. "You'll never have to think about it. There is no way that I could ever leave you. I'm sorry I even brought it up."

"I'm not. I wish you would've told me how you felt. Look, I know that you and I are soul mates, but I also know that I am still not as mature as you need me to be and sometimes I act like a brat, but I want to know if you are upset about something. I know you, Severus, and understand that you deal with pain in your own way, but please don't lock me out of that part of your life. I want to help you, but you have to let me in." There were so many locked doors and Harry wanted so badly to be allowed to enter them.

"Remember, Harry, that I fell in love with you; no matter that a bond was behind it, my own feelings had to already be there – that is how bonds work. I knew exactly who you were and how you acted. That is why I fell for you. Everything that makes up you is what I love about you. I love it that you are dedicated to Quidditch and I love your loyalty to your friends. I get such joy out of watching your young mind at work. Harry, I don't want you to act older than you are, I want you to be who you are."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Lucius's slumber ended far too soon. After yawning, he let out a small groan as his eyes assessed their surroundings: dark, dank, dilapidated – Hogwarts. Not at all his usual posh, comfortable, familiar bed chamber within Malfoy Manor, but this was his present residence and he had no choice where he now resided, not if he wanted to live, and that he did, if only to avenge the death of his child.

After showering and ordering a light breakfast, he decided fresh air might help to wake him further, thus he went outdoors and after a walk around the grounds, he settled under a tree and closed his eyes, allowing the week's events to replay in his mind.

The students were never going to accept him, and most of the staff had already made their displeasure known. To them, he was as bad as Voldemort – a fallacy to be sure, but one Lucius couldn't blame them for. He had killed many innocent people, and no amount of restitution would ever make up for what he had done. Lucius had known all that he would face when he accepted the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, but what he had not thought about was having to face the one memory that haunted his nightmares every night, and for that matter, every day. Oddly enough, the one time Lucius hadn't killed his intended victims and the one time that Voldemort had not been the instigator, was the memory that haunted Lucius more than any other. Even all these years later, the memory was as fresh as if it had happened the day before. The images came to him, and soon after, it was as if he were reliving the memory:

_"Severus, you go round back and I will enter through the front door."_

_Entering the house, Lucius pointed his wand in front of him as he walked further into the room. A light came on revealing a man and woman. The woman screamed and was immediately thrown to the ground by Lucius's wand. Lucius looked to the back of the house wondering where Severus was. Finally, Snape joined him and they both pointed their wands at the couple who were huddled together on the floor against the wall. The woman kept mumbling, "Not my baby... you leave him alone... please leave him alone."_

_Lucius looked to Severus, who lifted his wand and pointed it towards the two inhabitants of the house._

_"Diluo."_

_The man and woman slumped over unconscious, then Severus and Lucius Disapparated._

They hadn't accomplished what they had been sent to do: Severus and Lucius had been sent to kill the couple, but instead they had sent in the two other members of their team to curse the Aurors. However much Lucius had been looking forward to what they had been sent to do, Severus hadn't been. He never had told Lucius his reasoning; he'd only made it clear they would not be killing anyone that night. Severus used what little advantage he had over Lucius and the others in his small group at the time to make certain that as far as their new _master_ was concerned, they had completed their mission as scheduled.

Lucius had never forgotten that mission; the haunted look in Severus's eyes was something Lucius would never be able to banish from his memory. He couldn't forget how close he had come to killing the two before him with his wand, even after being told by Severus that they would not be killing them. Lucius had been furious with Severus, but he had owed his friend a favor. They hadn't been close friends any longer, but they did look out for each other.

Looking back, Lucius couldn't believe that he and Severus, as well as everyone else who had been with them then, had taken orders from such an incompetent person. Shortly after the Longbottoms' admittance to St. Mungo's, the young Voldemort-in-the-making was killed by Aurors, ending Death Eater activity until Voldemort's return to power.

Now in hindsight, it made sense to Lucius: Severus had been a spy for the Order. That was explanation enough, but Lucius sensed there was something more to Severus's reasoning behind his decision that night, and Lucius thought he was close to unraveling the mystery: it always came back to Harry Potter. It was unfortunate that Harry Potter wasn't the only student that concerned Lucius. _I wonder what Neville knows about what happened to his parents; does he know about Severus and me?_

Lucius had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that Neville did know, and if that was the case, Lucius knew he and Severus would eventually have to confront the boy. He knew how much Neville feared Severus, and he knew it most likely had to do with what had occurred. If the boy only knew what would have occurred if not for Severus Snape. _The boy should fear me; I would have killed his parents without a second thought. Severus is the reason I didn't. Neville should know that._

_**~*~**_

Harry was awakened in the most pleasurable way he had experienced in his seventeen years. His body was on fire and his hips were moving of their own volition. He had been having a wonderful dream about him and Severus: their bodies had been slamming against one another as waves of pleasure overtook them. As he felt a wave of euphoria flowing through his tingling body, Harry woke up and gasped, realizing part of his dream was definitely not a dream at all. He slowly cocked open one of his eyes and took a peek at Severus whose head could be seen giving him some much needed attention. Harry's grin spread as he moved his hands down and began running his fingers through Severus's hair. Harry began shaking and it didn't take long for him to orgasm. He moaned Severus's name as he came hard into Severus's mouth.

"Mmmm... Good Morning, Sevvvvrus," Harry managed to say.

Severus raised himself up to meet Harry in a brief kiss. Pulling himself away, Severus sat up and pulled Harry to him. "Good morning. How did you like your wake up call?"

Was Severus serious? "Mmmm...liked it. I thought you were being more careful with me. Wha—"

"Shall we move this to the bedroom where we can get more comfortable?" Severus interrupted Harry. Harry wanted this, as did Severus, and only Harry could end this with his mouth by reminding Severus how this shouldn't be happening. _ Silly boy_, Severus thought. _If you only knew how much power you have over me and this thing we share._

Harry shook his head. "Want you here, Sev... I need you, now."

"As you wish." Severus grabbed his wand, which was on the floor by his boxers, and removed what little clothing Harry was wearing. Then he summoned a phial from his bedside table, then reached in between their bodies and grabbed the younger wizard's quickly hardening cock. He began stroking it softly, then began to increase his thrusts.

Within a couple of minutes, Harry began shaking uncontrollably and moaning in Severus's ear... "need you in me, Severus, please.... NOW."

Severus was close; he could feel it. It had been a long time, and Severus knew it wouldn't take him long at all to have an orgasm. He picked up the phial, sat in between Harry's legs, and began preparing his young lover, who looked as excited as a little kid waiting to look into his stocking on Christmas morning. He summoned a pillow from the bedroom and propped it beneath Harry's hips. This was going to be cramped: them trying to make love on the sofa, but if Harry wanted it this way, then so be it. Severus didn't think Harry daft: this – making love on a sofa – wouldn't be repeated. He grinned and let out a deep chuckle, but shook his head when Harry asked why.

"Harry, you have to tell me if this hurts; I think this should be okay, but if you feel any pain whatsoever, you have to tell me, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm serious, Harry. You may be almost healed, but you are still sore and weak inside, even if you feel fine on the outside. I want this as much as you do, but I cannot give you what I know you want, Harry. We have to take it slow and easy for a while. I will make love to you, but nothing more."

"Severus, I told you it doesn't matter how, I just want to feel you in me."

Severus proceeded to enter Harry with his fingers and gently stretched him as much as he could. He was nervous. He thought Harry was ready, but it had been a horrible week, and Harry seemed to have one set back after another. The stress could not have helped Harry's healing. _What if I hurt him?_

_"You won't hurt me, Sev."_

Harry reached out his arms and lifted Severus's face so he could look into his eyes, and saw tears threatening to fall. That wasn't at all good. Harry pushed himself into a sitting position. "It's okay, Severus. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hurt me; we can wait." Now Severus was shaking and Harry felt horrible.

"I can't hurt you, Harry... I just can—"

"'s okay, Sev."

Severus felt bad because he was the one who had initiated this, but when he really thought about it, he knew Harry wasn't ready. Harry may not understand, but Severus knew it wasn't as easy as saying, _we'll take it slow_. He knew their lovemaking would get heated and rough, too rough for Harry's still healing body.

"_I understand Sev, and you're right."_

Severus lightly kissed Harry then smiled at his beautiful soul mate. "Our bond is getting stronger. Do you realise that you're reading my mind without me trying to link to you? You seem to be doing that more and more, lately."

Harry nodded. "Can you read mine as well?"

"I have a couple of times. I am curious what else will happen with us." Severus had been aware of his increased awareness of Harry: he could read the young Gryffindor's mind without trying; it was as if it were his own mind having the thoughts that Harry was having.

"Does it bother you that I can read your thoughts, Severus?" Harry knew that it had to. Severus was such a private person.

Severus shook his head. "There was a time when I did not want anyone knowing how I felt or what I thought, ever. I have always been a private person, Harry, and probably always will be. I don't expect that most people would understand me, so that is why I shy away from having much to do with anyone. But to answer your question, no, it does not bother me that you can read my mind at will. You are the only person who truly understands me; you know my temperament and you respect how I feel. I hold back my emotions and thoughts every day when I am around other people , even Albus does not see the real me, only you do. Knowing that at the end of the day I can come to you and you will accept me no matter what, is an indescribable feeling. I want to share everything with you, Harry. There is nothing that I have that has not already been given to you."

Well, that was not completely true, and knowing that Severus still hid information from him hurt Harry, but he knew that what Severus was telling him was as true as it could ever be, and that was enough – it had to be enough. "Same here, Severus." Harry kissed Severus lightly on his forehead and felt something hard against his stomach. Looking down he grinned. "Lay down."

Severus obediently complied and settled against the pillow that had been underneath Harry's hips only moments earlier. Almost immediately, he felt Harry's warm mouth embrace the tip of his very swollen cock. Harry licked his way down then took as much of it as he could in his mouth and begin speeding up his movements. Severus had to fight very hard not to lose control.

As he tried to suck more of Severus's cock into his mouth, Harry could hear simpering moans, and those erotic sounds almost undid him. Severus's voice in any form was enough to send Harry over the edge when he was not aroused, but Harry wanted to concentrate on Severus's need, and to make this as pleasurable as he possibly could.

Harry cupped his lover's balls with his free hand and began gently caressing them. As his movements became more forceful, Severus's moans become more heated and urgent. With one final thrust of Harry's mouth taking almost all of the cock, Severus came and Harry took all of the ejaculate and swallowed it, or tried to – it slipped from his mouth and coated his neck and face, and Harry let out a small sound of distress; he didn't wish to waste any of what Severus had to offer him. But when he looked up and saw Severus grinning at him, Harry slowly slithered his way up Severus's body to meet him in a kiss, and he closed his eyes when Severus licked his neck and face clean. Did it get any better than this? Harry thought not.

As soon as he could think clearly, Severus lifted Harry up and changed their positions so that now he was hovering over Harry, who was hard again, but Harry was always hard it seemed when they were together. Being with the seventeen-year-old seemed to have a similar effect on Severus; he found himself becoming aroused much quicker than he could recall ever having done before.

Severus saw a few tears escape Harry's closed eyes. Kissing the tears away, he began whispering softly in Harry's ear.

"I love you.

"I need you.

"I want you.

"I give my heart to you, Harry James Potter."

Then he moved down to the inviting neck, free of ejaculate now, and softly placed a love bite on the golden skin, marking him. It didn't take long until Harry came, moaning Severus's name.

"You already have my heart, you know that, right?"

**~*~**

_"McNair, Nott, Rookwood... my faithful servants... I have called you here to witness what happens when my orders are not followed. Take this as your warning; __**I do not give second chances to anyone, anymore, no matter how much they may beg and grovel**__. There are two who must pay for their betrayal of me, and soon my faithful servants... very soon... Lucius and Severus will be brought to me and then they will find out how I repay such loyalty. I think death outright is too good for them – no, they shall die a slow and painful death. But first we must deal with this situation. Bring her in, Lestrange."_

_Lestrange brought the woman to stand before Voldemort._

_"Dear, dear, Athena. How you disappoint me, child. I took you in, gave you a home, gave you everything you ever desired, and only asked one favor of you in return: that you bring me your sister and make certain that she was under your full control. You did manage to keep her under control quite easily until that night. So, may I ask... what happened?"_

_"I do not know, Master. I did everything the same as always. Minerva received the same instructions and I placed her under the same exact curse as always. Whatever happened, it had nothing to do with what I did."_

_"Crucio."_

_Lifting the curse, Voldemort hissed. "So, are you inferring that it was my doing that led to the failure of this operation?"_

_"No, Master, that is not what I said."_

_"But that is what you meant. Crucio." This time Voldemort did not lift the Cruciatus; he simply pointed his wand at the writhing and screaming woman and very casually said, "Avada Kedavra."_

**~*~**

Harry fell off the sofa and began screaming as he rolled around on the floor.

"He killed her... you're next... It hurts... Lucius... You... make it stop.... oh Merlin... Sev, make it stop." Harry felt hands turning him over and heard someone speaking to him, but he lost consciousness before he could respond.

Severus dressed Harry in his boxers after saying a quick cleaning spell on them both and wrapped him in a blanket before dressing himself as fast as he could. Harry was pale and his face was ice-cold.

_What has he done to deserve this? Tell me...what in Merlin's name has he done?_ Severus made it to the hospital wing in record time and found Poppy getting her supplies in order for the upcoming school year. "Poppy, I think Harry had another vision." He put Harry in one of the beds and let the matron check him. He sat down and put his head in his hands as Poppy tended to Harry.

"Severus?"

"Severus?"

Severus, who had been in deep thought about Harry, looked up at Poppy. "Will he be okay?"

"He'll be fine, Severus. He is sleeping. I gave him a draught that will keep him asleep until later this afternoon. He needs rest, Severus, but other than that he should be fine."

Severus allowed a smile to escape and closed his eyes. If anything happened to Harry, Severus was not sure he would be able to go on, and he had already been through this more times than he cared to remember.

"If you want to take him back to your rooms, you may Floo from here; you can watch him as well as I could, and we both know he will rest easier being in familiar surroundings with you."

"Thank you, Poppy." Severus gathered Harry in his arms and Flooed to his sitting room, then quickly made his way to the bedroom where he placed Harry in the bed and made him comfortable. Sitting by Harry's side, Severus continued to watch the small chest rise and fall. He looked fragile, and Severus knew he was. Voldemort was playing with his Harry's life, and unless someone could find a solution to this problem, his Harry was going to die. No one, not even _the-boy-who-lived_, could withstand many more of these attacks. No, no one had said that Harry would die, and perhaps he wouldn't, but Severus knew what his young soul mate could handle, and he had almost reached his limit.

Severus had begun to think that what Harry was experiencing was not merely a result of what others were experiencing; he now believed Voldemort was trying to weaken or kill Harry through their link since he had not been successful in their one on one confrontations. There had to be a solution; Severus was not going to sit by and watch his Harry slowly fade away into nothingness, but what could he do?

**~*~**

Hermione and Ron were looking for Harry; the three of them had decided to meet out on the Quidditch pitch at eleven, and it was now noon. Hermione had a bad feeling about what was going on with her friend, and she needed to know what was happening. Harry had never been one to leave his friends out of anything that was going on with him. _Who would know what is going on with Harry? I can tell he needs help._ "Ron, did Harry say anything to you last night about feeling bad?"

Ron shook his head. "Didn't say anything to me and he looked just like he always does. He's prob'ly just messing around in his room. Mum says he spends a lot of time alone now."

"And you think that is good for him? My Aunt refused to let me be alone, Ron, and Harry shouldn't be, either. I know Harry needs us right now more than ever."

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "Hermione, I didn't say it was good for him, did I? It's his life and however he chooses to spend it is up to him. I can't play babysitter with him like you seem to want to do," Ron said, shrugging his shoulders and rolling his eyes.

"That is not fair, Ronald Weasley, and you know it. Harry is our friend and I am worried about him. I thought you did as well, but I suppose I was misinformed." Hermione had finished with her lunch, so she gathered up her cloak and left without another word.

Hermione headed for the Gryffindor common room but took a turn at the stairs. There was one person who might possibly know what was wrong with Harry, but Hermione wasn't at all certain if it was a prudent idea to go looking for trouble, and she was sure if she found who she was looking for, she would be in trouble. However, she was desperate. Harry was definitely not himself, thus, she found herself approaching the dungeons, and Professor Snape's office.

Taking a deep breath, she reached up and knocked on the Potion master's office door. _Am I crazy? School has not even begun and I am placing myself in a position to have Snape yell at me. It is for Harry, though. I know Professor Snape and Harry at least get along, so perhaps Snape will have some idea of what is wrong with him._

No one ever came to the door. Hermione left the dungeons dejected. As she reached the top step, she heard a door open and close behind her.

"Miss Granger, what may I ask are you doing down here?"

Hermione turned around and glanced up at her professor. He looked, as always, foreboding, but there was nothing for it; she had to do this. "Actually, Professor Snape, I was looking for you, sir." For a seventh year, Hermione thought her voice sounded far too child-like. It wasn't fair how a teacher could do that to a person.

Snape cocked an eyebrow. "Classes have not begun, Miss Granger. Pray tell what would you need me for?"

"It's about Harry, sir."

Severus had to fight to keep his face blank as he secretly praised the young witch; Harry needed his friends now more than ever, and Severus would not dilute their eagerness to be involved in Harry's life, at least not while his life was in such peril. "Why would you be asking me about Mr Potter, Miss Granger?" Severus was not stupid, dumb, or blind. If any of Harry's friends would notice anything between himself and Harry, it would be Hermione Granger. Now all he needed to know was what exactly did she know?

"Sir, I am worried about Harry. I know you don't hate him, sir. In fact, I know that Harry thinks quite highly of you and even considers you a friend. As a friend to him, I was hoping you would know what is going on with him."

"Miss Granger, your assumptions regarding Mr Potter and myself are quite mistaken. Did he tell you we were friends? He had a rough summer and I was the one unfortunate enough to be assigned to watch over him, but once he was no longer a danger to himself, our forced time together ended. Whatever trouble he has gotten himself into is no longer any concern of mine, and as for him thinking us friends? Potter really is quite full of himself." Severus managed to sneer at Hermione, then he turned and began walking, but then turned abruptly. "I do hope that was all you had, Miss Granger. I am quite busy."

Hermione didn't say anything, but she mouthed, "You are his friend, Professor, I know it." Then she turned and walked away.

Severus stood there not quite knowing what he should do. What he wanted to do was run after the Granger girl and take her to Harry, but that was not an option Severus could consider, at least not at this very moment.

~*~

Neville walked to the edge of the forbidden forest and sat down by a tree. Taking out the note Professor Dumbledore had sent him, the Gryffindor read it again:

_Mr Longbottom -_

_Would you please meet with the Headmaster on Saturday morning 02 September, 1997 at 11:00 a.m. in his office? This meeting is of the utmost urgency and secrecy. Please tell no one about this. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter._

_Minerva McGonagall  
Deptuty Head Mistress Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

The meeting had of course been rescheduled for Monday evening because of what had happened Saturday. Neville shivered just thinking about it. He was apprehensive, yet he didn't know why. It was only a meeting, but the seventh year had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had been having nightmares recently about the night his parents were tortured, and he had an idea this meeting had something to do with what happened that night, or what hadn't happened.

The one thing that upset Neville more than this meeting though was having to face Professor Snape in a few days. Neville had seen everything that night: he knew that his professor hadn't killed his parents, but he had allowed others to come in and do whatever they wanted to them. To Neville, this was just as unforgivable. Now not only did he have to face Snape, he would have to see Draco's father, the other one who had been with Snape that night. Neville never could stand Draco, and hated his father even more, for the same reasons that he hated his Potions professor.

Neville's reverie was interrupted when he heard a rustling noise coming from behind him in the forest. He didn't think it wise to enter the dense brush, but he wanted to know what the noise was.

**~*~**  
_  
_Lucius had fallen asleep and woke up when he heard a loud pop. He looked towards the forest where the sound had come from. Seeing nothing, he slowly approached so as not to scare anything away. Walking further into the forest, he stopped dead in his tracks. Neville Longbottom was sitting by the body of Athena McGonagall, looking at the body and shaking his head as he cried out the word no.

Lucius knelt down by Neville in order to get the young Gryffindor's attention. When Neville looked up, his eyes widened.

"It's okay, Neville, I'm not here to hurt you. Please go tell Headmaster Dumbledore that I am bringing Professor McGonagall's sister to the hospital wing, and please make sure no one else hears what you tell the Headmaster."

Neville, extremely shaken, tears running down his face, nodded and left without another word. Lucius looked at Athena's body and then at Neville, who was halfway to the entrance of Hogwarts by now, and furrowed his brows. _Does he know who she is? Why is he so upset?_

Lucius picked up the lifeless body of Athena McGonagall and carried it to the hospital wing, where she was officially pronounced dead. Lucius turned and watched the boy as he stared out the window.

Neville stood by the window looking out of it, but seeing nothing. He turned around to see Madam Pomfrey talking to Lucius Malfoy. He wanted to scream. _Why her? Isn't it enough you had to make my parents unable to recognize me, and that you took Professor McGonagall? Now you take her also? _

Lucius looked back at Madam Pomfrey. "Did Neville know Athena?"

"I am afraid so. Athena was once very close to Neville's mother, so close in fact that Athena was asked to be Neville's godmother. Until he was four or five, Athena was a large part of his life, but then when his parents were taken to St. Mungo's, Athena ceased all communication with him. I am almost certain he has not seen her since then, until today."

Poppy began to Athena's body, leaving Lucius and Neville alone. Lucius didn't know if he should say anything; he didn't know Neville well enough to know how he would react. "I am sorry about your godmother, Mr Longbottom." Lucius walked over to where Neville was standing, causing the younger wizard to turn around and look at him, shrugging his shoulders.

"She wasn't my godmother, not really; she never came to see me after my parents were put in St. Mungo's. Whatever right she may have once had to me, she forfeited away when she abandoned me, leaving me all alone." Neville's words were little more than whispers, yet Lucius heard every one of them quite clearly.

"My apologies, I should not have brought it up."

No, he shouldn't have, and Neville had the urge to shout at the man who had caused him such grief over the years, but instead, he found himself inexplicably calm; it was as if all of the fight had gone out of him. "You didn't know, and you are the one who found me crying over her dead body; you deserve to know why. I hadn't seen her in over ten years other than brief glimpses of her when she ate with Professor McGonagall in the Great Hall. But she never even attempted to come talk to me. I had always believed that one day she would come back and take me away from my grandmother and we could live as a happy family. When I saw her body today in the forest I knew that would never happen." Neville then stopped, unsure why he was telling all of this to someone he was supposed to hate, but he needed to talk and no one else seemed to care about his feelings right now.

Neville turned back around facing the window and watched as many of the students out on the grounds were enjoying their last day of freedom before lessons began. He thought they all looked happy, like they didn't have a worry in the world. Neville had never been so fortunate: His life had been one constant worry after another. He had gotten through the last six years of Hogwarts by remaining isolated and acting cheerful and happy around everyone, but he was neither of the two. He was tired of the fakeness, and wanted his friends to understand the real him.

"Mr Longbottom, if you ever need anyone to talk to, please find me. I know I am not someone you wish to spend time with, but I am a good listener and I do wish to help you, if you'll allow me." Lucius began walking towards the door to leave. He had made an offer to the boy, but could do nothing further; it was up to Neville.

"Yes, sir, I think I would like that. Mr Malfoy?" Neville added, nervously, his chin now quivering ever so slightly.

"Yes?"

"I am sorry about Draco."

Lucius was momentarily stunned speechless. How? What? Lucius would never understand people. Neville should hate him, and he probably did, yet here he was giving his condolences regarding Draco, and he looked as if he were about to cry. Lucius felt a bit uneasy himself; he was unaccustomed to kindness from his victims. "Thank you, Neville."

**~*~**

"...and you are sure about this, Severus?"

"Yes, Albus. I have talked it over with Harry, and he was the one who talked me into taking the position."

"Very well. Nothing will change as far as your office; I know how comfortable you are in the dungeons, and I will not ask you to leave your comfortable confines. I will, however, ask a favor of you."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I understand Sirius's reasoning for taking the Gryffindor Head of House position, but I do worry about Harry. Even while he will be spending a great deal of time in Gryffindor Tower, I want him to be with you at night, Severus. I have always relied on the fact that my students are safe behind the walls of Hogwarts, but Harry seems to be our exception. He is in serious danger, and I would feel immense relief knowing he is with you at night... every night."

Not at all a problem since Harry and he had already discussed this and come to the same conclusion. "Consider it done. I trust Sirius and I also trust Harry's friends, but the one I do not trust has found a way to get to Harry. I want him to be with me so I can help him; I am continuing to try to brew a potion that will block Harry from seeing and feeling the things he has been, it is the only solution I can think of. He will die, Albus if nothing is done. Each time he has an attack, he becomes a little weaker."

"I know." Albus looked weary and haggard. The past two days had been difficult, to say the least. As he was about to begin speaking again, he heard knocking on his door. "Come in, Lucius."

Lucius entered and acknowledged both Severus and Albus. "Athena McGonagall's body was just discovered on the edge of the forest; she is dead."

Severus looked at Albus. He had told the Headmaster earlier of his and Harry's suspicions about Athena's involvement with Minerva's death, and having Athena's body turn up dead at Hogwarts only seemed to cement this connection. Voldemort knew the connection between the sisters would eventually be made, so he decided to eliminate his liability before anyone could question her.

"Thank you, Lucius." Albus glanced at Severus. It seemed Severus had been correct in his assumption.

Lucius could tell that Severus seemed upset. He wished to enquire why but knew better than to do so. "Mr Longbottom found her and he is quite upset; I talked to Poppy and she explained to me about Athena being his godmother. He will not leave the hospital wing; I thought you might like to know that."

"Yes, I will go see him now. I am afraid Neville's troubles may have only begun, Lucius."

"When he saw me in the forest, I could see the fear in his eyes. I don't think it is fair that he has to sit through my lessons thinking of me the way that he does; I have come here for my protection, but my presence is going to create tension. I have already noticed that fact, Albus."

Yes, as had Albus, and it gave him no pleasure. "So you have an opportunity then, Lucius. You could use this year as your reintroduction to how we here at Hogwarts view the world. Even while you and Harry are not getting on much at the moment, at least you two are trying. I think if you give Neville a chance, he will surprise you." Yes, Albus knew he was asking rather a lot, but he was confident that this thing with Lucius and Harry and Neville needed to be resolved for either of them to be able to move on.

Incredulous would be an apt descriptor for Lucius's demeanor. "Albus, I went to his parents' house to kill them, to leave Neville parentless. I would have if it had not been for Severus. Why would Neville ever want anything to do with me? He wouldn't."

**~*~**

_Deluo is Latin and means to resolve or remove problems._


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

First day of lessons had arrived much too soon for Harry's liking. He felt as if he had been trampled by a herd of thestrals, and voices from the other side of the wall weren't helping his muddled brain or his tense nerves. He longed to return to the warmth of his and Severus's bed... and the comfort of Severus. This was not going to be an easy day; that fact had been made more valid by the uneasy past few hours. Harry would laugh if he truly didn't feel so very close to losing control, but, at least now he didn't feel as though he could go mental at any moment... thanks to Severus, who had given his a calming draught, which had helped, somewhat; Harry thought that perhaps he'd be able to get through the day without any further incidents. He knew that was a thought he'd not voice too loudly, however; fate was bound to intervene if he did so.

He hesitantly entered the Gryffindor common room unsure of what he was about to hear in the way of accusations about not caring for his friends. If they only knew... He saw a group of younger students congregated by the door that led upstairs, then he spotted Hermione sitting on the sofa, reading a book. He knew she was becoming increasingly worried about him, and he also knew that he wouldn't be able to avoid her forever. She looked up at him and frowned.

"Harry, where have you been? You don't look so good."

In fact, Harry knew he looked ghastly. "Thanks."

"What is going on with you? You haven't been honest with Ron or me; it's me, Hermione, Harry, you can tell me anything."

He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her he felt as if he were about to go mad. His thoughts were such that he was beginning to believe that Voldemort was messing with his mind, trying to kill him through their link. "It's just been stressful; so much has happened since term ended in June. But, really, I'll be fine." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Why are you looking at me that way?" Harry really should have known that she wouldn't go for any of this nonsense. He couldn't tell her anything, though. What was he going to do?

"Oh, I don't know, Harry. Perhaps because you will not be okay if you keep going around like this. It is quite obvious you are hiding something from me."

Harry closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Hermione, I am fine. Just leave it, okay?"

"No, I will not just leave it. You acted as if everything was fine at the welcoming feast but you were not all there, both Ron and I noticed. You did black out after all, and something had to cause that to happen. Then on Saturday when we found out about Professor McGonagall, and saw Hagrid holding her body, you freaked out. We were all upset, but you should have seen the look on your face. If Snape hadn't stopped you, Harry, you would have bolted out of the room screaming. Snape had to physically restrain you from leaving. I have never seen you like that. You seemed okay Saturday night when we talked about Sirius becoming the new Transfiguration teacher, but again, I could tell you were not all there. Then you didn't show up yesterday to meet Ron and me. What are we to think? You could have sent Hedwig if you couldn't make it. It's not like you at all to disregard your friends. Look, Harry, I know something is going on with you, probably having to do with Vol—"

"Don't say his name."

"_He Who Must Not Be Named_, and I know Snape is helping you deal with it, am I correct?"

"Why would Snape be helping me, Hermione?" Harry could feel a headache coming on, and rubbed his temples as if that could prevent it.

Hermione shook her head incredulously and furrowed her brows. "You even told us at your birthday party that Snape had helped you when everyone thought Sirius was dead. You also snapped at Ron when he made a derogatory comment about Snape. I am not daft, Harry. Why are you pretending to hate him again?"

"Pretending? Why should I have to pretend?" Harry opened his mouth again but hastily shut it. Hermione was not stupid and if he kept repeating how much he and Snape hated each other, it might only serve to increase her curiosity. He had to balance what he told Hermione; she needed enough to leave him alone, but no more. Harry was beginning to doubt he could fool her much longer. He couldn't tell Hermione much, but he could tell her something to maybe get her to leave this subject alone in the future. Ron, on the other hand was someone Harry was unsure about. Their friendship was still in a very precarious limbo and Harry didn't want anything else to come in between him and Ron. Ron loathed Snape more than just about anyone, and even though Ron didn't have Potions any longer, Harry could just hear Ron going off about his greasy git teacher. He would think about what he should tell Ron later, but now he had Hermione to contend with, and she was much more dangerous because once she grasped on to something, she wouldn't let go until she had solved whatever it was that needed solving. "Hermione, er... yeah, okay, Snape and I did spend some time together this summer, and we seemed to get along, at least I thought so. He helped me, and yes, he is still helping me cope with everything, but he has made it quite clear that once lessons begin, things will go back to how they were before. He told me Dumbledore could manipulate him with me during the summer, but not during school." Bitterness laced Harry's voice, and it was not a ploy; he felt every ounce of bitterness that was coming out of his mouth. He was tired of being in these situations.

He only wanted to be like everyone else.

He only wanted to be allowed to love Severus without endangering anyone.

"Harry, surely not even Snape would be that cruel to help you then just drop you like that. No matter what he says, I seriously doubt he hates you, and I am willing to bet that he never did. Obviously, Snape doesn't have many friends, we can all see that. If he and you became friends, I can't see him giving that up; he seems the type to keep a friend forever once he has one."

Harry smirked and shook his head, but he knew how very true to form Hermione's words were. "Friends? Forever? We're talking about Snape. It was hardly his decision to watch over me this summer; Professor Dumbledore practically forced him. So, what if we actually had some things in common. Why should he be any different from anyone else in my life? Everyone leaves, eventually. I am quite used to it by now, and anyway, we were certainly never friends." Harry hoped he didn't sound overly melodramatic, but as he was talking to the queen of dramatics, he doubted she would notice.

"Well, I still think you're wrong about Snape. He may act like he hates you, but he doesn't. Remember Harry, I saw the two of you in Diagon Alley." Harry's expression changed. "Don't worry, it wasn't obvious, but I could tell that he really did care about you, Harry. I could see it in his eyes."

_Shite. _"Don't you get it, Hermione? None of that matters now. Once we see him in class, I'll be Potter again. I am okay with that; I have gone through six years being the bane of his existence, what is one more?" Harry was lying to one of his best friends, and he detested himself for it. But the danger Hermione and Ron would be in if they found out the truth was too much to risk. Harry would lie to the two of them for as long as he had to. Whatever else he might do, he was not going to risk his two best friends' lives just so he could share his happiness with them.

Hermione was looking sympathetically at Harry. She wasn't certain what Snape was up to, but she knew it was affecting Harry in a negative way. That had to stop.

What was Hermione's mind contemplating? Probably nothing at all good. Harry shook his head and clinched his teeth, then rolled his eyes, as if those three things would send Hermione away. "Please don't look at me that way, Hermione. I don't need or want your pity, okay? This is for the best, anyway. If Snape and I were to continue being whatever we were, then his life would probably be in more danger because of me. That seems to be the way of it. They all die, eventually, and he would too, more than likely."

"You still have Ron and me, and we are not going anywhere, Harry." Hermione was furious. She still believed Snape probably did care about Harry, but how dare he help Harry all summer and then cut him out of his life. Harry looked downtrodden, and now she knew why. The one person whom Harry had counted on over the summer holidays was now shunning him from his life.

"I'm sorry, Harry. He's not worth it if he's going to treat you this way. I have the urge to—"

"Whatever you're thinking, he's not worth it." Harry had no choice but to say all of these things about Severus, but he silently cringed. The world needed to think that _Potter_ and _Snape_ loathed each other, but it was a struggle for his soul, because it knew that Harry and Severus loved each other. His soul also realised, however, that their love for each other was why the two of them were going through this, and they would do anything they had to in order to remain together.

"You know what, Hermione? I'm tired of letting him get to me. Maybe I did think he had changed, that he actually liked me, but I was quite off the mark on that one. So now I know not to ever expect anything from anyone again; it only makes it harder. As you said, he's not worth wasting my time over, so as of now, I am not going to let him. I'm sorry, Hermione. I have been so stupid, letting him get to me like that. I was feeling sorry for myself, but not now. I'm a real git for allowing Snape to get to me." And had he done his job? An actor he was not, but if he could fool Hermione, he had done well. All Harry could do now was hold his breath and hope that he had just given a command performance.

Hermione shook her head. "No, you needed to believe him; you needed to trust in someone, even the slimy bastard!"

"Hermione!"

"Well, it's true. How dare he treat you that way."

It seemed as if it worked. Harry wanted to grin, but it had cost him a lot to say the things he had about Severus and he wanted to divert Hermione onto another line of thinking. "Do you mind if we change the subject? There have to be much more interesting things to talk about other than Snape." If there were, Harry couldn't think of them: Snape was the most interesting subject he could think of. "Maybe we can talk about something a bit more cheerful?"

"Sorry, Harry."

"s'okay. My nerves are just a little on edge right now and I need to be calming down instead of getting angry." There was absolute truth in this; Harry did need to remain calm, and having to speak about his lover as he had been, was wreaking havoc on his already frayed nerves. "What is taking Ron so long? I am going to go drag him down here; my stomach is growling." About that time, Ron came bounding down the stairs, his hair still wet.

"Sorry; guess I kind of overslept."

"It's the first day, Ron. You should set a better example for the younger students." Hermione glared at Ron and shook her head.

"Dumbledore excused me from my extra duties last night, so I am no longer a Prefect." Ron smirked at Hermione.

"Still, it would be good if you could be someone who younger students could look up to," Hermione added, disapproval in her every word.

Ron rolled his eyes and mouthed _mental_ at Harry, who nodded his head slightly, a grin on his face.

"Hey, Harry. That is so cool about Sirius being the new Gryffindor Head of House."

Ron seemed to be in a cheerful mood, more so than Harry had seen him thus far. "Yeah, it will be fun having him here; he's excited about it."

"Where will you be staying now?"

"Gryffindor Tower, but I'll be in a room joining Sirius's. Dumbledore doesn't want me far from him. I get the feeling they still think I'm a danger to myself." Harry was getting good at this game he had to play with his friends, but he didn't like it, because with every lie, he separated himself from them further.

"_You know Who_ really has found a way to hurt you. How can you sound so calm?"

Harry gave his friends a small smirk. Little did they know how much _he_ was hurting Harry, and literally, not figuratively, as his friends were suggesting. "Tell me then, should I be yelling or cursing? Because I could, you know. Bet you didn't know that he_ is_ trying to _kill me_ this way because he has not been able to get to me any other way, did you?" Hermione brought her hands to her mouth and gasped. "Well, he is. It's another fact of life for me. There is nothing to be done for it now; what choice do I have?" Harry shouldn't have said that. It wasn't fair of him to burden his friends with his unfortunate circumstances; it wasn't their fault that his life was as messed up as it was.

"He is trying to kill you through your link? Since when? Does Professor Dumbledore know?" Hermione asked.

Harry wished he hadn't brought this up. His vision of Hermione's parents being murdered was his first vision where he had a bad physical reaction. "This summer; I don't know for sure that he is trying to kill me using our link, but it makes sense that he would, and my visions and the resulting physical toll they have been taking on me are getting worse. Look, I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend, it's just that with everything going on with my visions, and Snape, I'm stressed to the limit."

"I understand about being stressed. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you, please remember that."

Hermione hugged him and Harry was happy that he and Hermione seemed to be okay again. He needed her to understand, even if no one else could.

"Hey mate, you know you can count on me as well, right?"

"Yeah, Ron." Harry nodded and smiled, but he wished he could have done so with true conviction rather than with the misgivings he was currently having. He doubted Ron would ever accept him and Severus. "We should probably get to breakfast; I'm starving."

The three entered the Great Hall and ate a quick breakfast. Sirius, or Professor Black, as Harry and his friends were to now call him, handed them their timetables. After eating, they compared them and found out all three had Transfiguration together after breakfast. They were all anticipating an exciting class from Professor Black – with the former Marauder as their teacher, the three knew this year wouldn't be boring.

**~*~**

No, Professor Black was not going to be a boring teacher at all. After leaving his classroom, the three had looks of shock on their faces. The fun and unpredictable wizard known as Harry's godfather had not shown up; the person that had was someone who was about as friendly as Snape. Well, Professor Black did at least smile, but other than that, his demeanor and teaching methods were similar to those of the Potions master.

Harry wanted to laugh. Obviously, Severus had gotten hold of Sirius and had given him some words of advice. Harry had worried how Sirius would survive the year. The former Marauder had never been one for enforcing discipline. Though he might do well to tone it down a few notches, Harry was impressed with his godfather's first lesson.

Ron and Hermione were shocked to say the least, but as they each had different lessons immediately following Transfiguration, they didn't have time to discuss anything.

Harry went to Herbology next, which was uneventful except for the fact that Professor Sprout kept looking at him and making condescending remarks to him when others weren't near enough to hear. He ignored her and tried to concentrate on what they were doing. He knew this class, as well as Charms, would present him with challenges since these two professors seemed to be the only two who were against him and Severus being together as soul mates. As there was little to be done for this, Harry simply went about his work and tried his best to avoid contact with his teacher.

History of Magic was next, and as always, it was the most boring lesson imaginable. Harry was glad he, Ron, and Hermione had it together. Professor Binns droned on about what they would be covering during the upcoming term. Ron stifled a yawn, but that seemed to trigger a chain reaction, and half the room began yawning. Hermione rolled her eyes and glared.

By the time lunch rolled around, all three were starving for food and for an escape from Professor Binn's monotone voice.

Harry was beginning to get somewhat nervous; he had Potions next. Severus had assured him both last night and this morning that he would be fine and would get though Potions okay, but Harry didn't believe him.

Severus had made no secret that once lessons began, he would have to resume his former treatment of Harry; there was no way around it. Severus had worried about Harry's reactions, but he'd spent as much time as possible reassuring Harry that regardless of what was said in class, Harry knew the truth, and if he ever doubted it, all he had to do was look in Severus's eyes. So, yes, there would be one minor difference; the hateful words would not be accompanied by scorn-filled eyes, only blank ones.

Severus had also reminded Harry about Ara, their _'invisible to everyone except them_' familiar who could transmit messages between the two without either having to write anything on paper. She would land on their right arm and peck their cheek letting them know of her presence.

Harry smiled. Ara would help him get through this year.

As the three sat down and began filling their plates, Harry chanced a glance at the High Table. Severus was looking at him, but just as quickly, turned away. For Harry, that was all he needed: just a look, a reminder of what he was going home to after lessons.

**~*~**

Severus sat at the High Table, moving the food around on his plate, but not eating. Seeing Harry had raised his spirits immensely, but all he could think about was how sad Harry had looked before the two left each other for the day. Harry had clung to him throughout the night; he had been scared, but couldn't explain why. Severus had been awakened by whimpers coming from Harry, whose eyes were filled with tears. It broke Severus seeing Harry like this, and he knew things would probably only get tougher for the two of them.

Seventh year NEWT Potions was Severus's next lesson; the one he had been dreading all day. His dark mood in the morning classes had been accentuated by his almost visible emotions. He had been quicker than usual to find an unsuspecting _victim _to taunt, and his words seemed to have had a more than usual acerbic bite to them.

The Headmaster had seen Severus walking the corridors during break and had given him some words of encouragement. He also told the younger wizard that Harry was strong and that they both would get through this.

_You did not hear him crying as I held him in my arms._

_You did not see him cling to me as if this would be the last time he saw me._

_You did not feel him holding on to me before we left with a death grip around my waist._

It was true: Harry had been strong; he had faced Voldemort many times and escaped imminent death year after year, never once complaining. Severus had silently watched all of this, knowing that the young wizard could not continue this way. He knew the boy would break under the pressure, and that sooner or later, his good fortune would run out, and the boy would be faced with adversities that would easily send him into a downward spiral. No matter how strong the human psyche, there was only so much one person could be asked to take on. Harry had been asked to take on the wizarding world's greatest threat and fear.

Severus had seen this happening and had done nothing to stop it. He, of course, went to the Death Eater meetings and fed them incorrect information, and he never revealed anything about Harry that would spark the Dark Lord's interest, but Severus had never once tried to approach the boy to help him, and if anyone could have helped, it would have been him. It was hard for Severus to think about that now but it had been the only way he had been able to cope. He had had to separate himself from Harry completely. Thankfully, that had changed, and he had let Harry in… much too late, but he had let him in.

It was time for his next lesson. Severus drank the rest of his pumpkin juice and headed for his dungeon.

**~*~**

Harry and Hermione walked into the cold and damp classroom and sat down in their usual places. Hermione kept glancing at Harry from the corner of her eye, but tried to do so without him knowing. Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, revealing the Potions master, looking menacingly angry as ever. He glared at the students who ceased all movement. Snape was in a foul mood, but that was no different than usual.

Most students thought that to be his only mood.

Snape yelled at Neville when the Gryffindor entered the classroom a minute later, telling the horrified boy he was late, even as class did not officially begin for another two minutes. Neville's face turned red, and he cowered in his seat as his most hated professor continued to berate him.

During the following hour, Snape took thirty points away from Gryffindor, and awarded forty to Slytherin. It seemed Snape was getting nastier instead of more tolerant; not at all what some of the previous seventh years had said he would be.

He then looked at Harry and asked him a question.

And, of course, it was a question Harry couldn't answer. He sat there, still as stone, and waited; he tried to brace himself for whatever would come out of Severus's mouth, but he knew that he wasn't prepared.

"Foolish Gryffindor. Do you ever open a book or do you prefer being read to? Perhaps you believe studying to be beneath you, Mr Potter, well, do you?"

"No, sir." _It is all an act... an act... remember that._

"Then why is it that you never feel the need to prepare for my lessons? Is it that you think Potions will not be useful to you? Think again, Mr Potter. Your chosen profession requires you to have extensive knowledge of Potions. You have had eight weeks to complete your homework. Even a dunderhead such as yourself should be competent enough to read one measly chapter. But then again, I forgot _Just. Who. You. Are_."

Harry could feel his face burning. _An act, all an act._ Unlike previous years when Harry had simply let the biting words roll off his back, he now internalized the lethal words that were being thrown at him. He stared at Severus, on the verge of tears. He knew this was an act, but didn't understand why Severus had to make that last comment.

Class was dismissed and Harry was one of the first ones to bolt out of the room. He fought to keep his emotions under control. This was only the first day. He wasn't prepared for this, and he never would be.

Care of Magical Creatures was next and Harry was looking forward to seeing Hagrid, who had been gone for the last two weeks doing some work for the Headmaster. He'd just arrived back a few days before he found Professor McGonagall's body in Hogsmeade. Harry needed cheering up and he could always count on his friend Hagrid to do just that.

"Hey, Harry, how was Potions?" Ron asked as he walked down the steps and caught up with Harry. He was happy he didn't have to face Snape this year, and he could tell that Harry wasn't too happy about having to. Better him, though, Ron thought.

Harry wished he could be honest with Ron, but he couldn't. "Don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. Hey, there's Hagrid, and he's carrying a… oh no."

Harry looked to where Ron was pointing, and sure enough, Hagrid was bounding towards them with a baby dragon in his hand. "No. This should be interesting. If he couldn't handle Norbert, how does he expect his classes to deal with them?" Harry and Ron exchanged grins. Hagrid… would he never learn?

"Hi, Harry 'an Ron. How yer doin'?" asked the dragon-bearing teacher as he approached Harry and Ron.

"Er, good, Hagrid. What are you doing with a dragon?" Harry asked, not hiding his apprehension. Bad luck seemed to find him these days; he didn't need a dangerous dragon to add to that.

"Just wait an' ya will fin' out when everyone else gets 'ere. Why do ya look so sad, 'Arry?"

"s'nothing. Just first day and all." Harry knew Hagrid would have a kind word to say about Snape if he knew Harry needed to hear one, and Harry needed to hear someone saying something kind about Snape in the worst way, but that couldn't happen under these conditions.

Hagrid gave Harry a skeptical look but left him alone. He knew what was going on just as well as all of the other teachers, and he wasn't going to make it any more difficult than it already was. He squeezed Harry's shoulder and smiled at him. "Yer goin' ter be fine, 'Arry. Wait an see."

As soon as the students had all gathered around Hagrid, he began. He'd placed the dragon behind him so no one could see it until it was time. "Yer goin ter be studyin' and lernin about dragons dis year." Many of the students had worried looks on their faces, and a few gasps could be heard. "Dumbledore knows; said yer all need ter know wha to do if a dragon came ter ya. I have brought one of 'em with me, but da others are not 'ere yet, so we will spen' the rest of dis ere class getting use to bein aroun dis one."

For the remainder of the class, everyone pensively walked around the small dragon, not getting too close in case he decided to douse them with fire. Harry and Ron knew this year would not be a dull one with Hagrid teaching them about dragons.

After Hagrid dismissed them, Harry hurriedly gathered his things. Telling Ron he was going to meet Sirius, he instead ran to his rooms as quickly as he could, then Flooed to Severus's. No one was there. Harry had known that would be the case; he just needed to be surrounded by Severus's things. He needed to breathe in his scent. The smell of Severus always calmed Harry when he was upset.

Harry had been assigned two essays to write, one for Transfiguration, and the other for Herbology. While he was waiting for Severus, he began writing out his essays. He wanted to get his homework done as quickly as possible so he could have as much time as he could with Severus.

No, Harry had not forgotten how mean Severus had been to him, and he knew that he was going to get angry and probably yell and act like the hurt wizard he was when Severus arrived, but he was tired of acting as if everything was okay. No one else had to sit through class being yelled at and belittled by their lover. Not even Severus could know how deeply he had hurt him. But, even with all of his anger, and there was quite enough of that, Harry loved Severus, and nothing would make him leave his soul mate; nothing could ever be that bad that it would cause the two to drift apart. Harry needed Severus like he needed air to breathe. The older wizard was a part of Harry now; if he lost him, he would be losing a part of himself.

He had been working on his Transfiguration essay for about an hour when Severus entered. Harry kept writing, not acknowledging the arrival. He heard Severus sigh, and couldn't help the small smile. He was going to make Severus feel bad... well, he had said words that were deserving of being made to feel bad, hadn't he?

"I want to apologize, Harry," were the first words Severus could speak. It was obvious that Harry was upset and ignoring him, which were both deserved, but Severus needed Harry to understand and to forgive him.

Harry shrugged his shoulders and continued writing, and he could feel the tears as they fell. He was furious with himself, livid at Severus, and completely unable to continue ignoring the one person who meant everything to him. He slowly turned around with tears now falling one after another. **"You didn't have to say that about forgetting who I am**." When Severus didn't respond immediately, he continued. **"Merlin, Sev. You haven't said anything about my father in two years, why now? You know how much that upsets me." **Harry roughly wiped at his face and thought he might have snorted. Oh well, he might as well go all out if he was going to cry and be a big baby.

Severus knelt down by Harry and wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Yes, I know, Harry. I had to say something mean to you, love, and that was the cruelest thing I could have said, so I used it. It is the one thing that hurts you more than anything, I know, and I am so sorry. I had to get it out of the way. I will never say it again, I promise."

Harry nodded into Severus's chest as he tried to calm himself.

"It hurt me so much to see you on the verge of tears, Harry. I hated myself for saying what I did. I could see the hurt in your eyes and when you left after class without looking at me, I wanted to yell about the injustice of it all. It is not fair what I am asking you to go through. I don't know if I can allow you to go on like this. You are wasting away in front of my eyes and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. By being mean to you, I am supposedly protecting you from _He Who Must Not Be Named_ ever finding out that you are my soul mate, but at the same time, I am causing you further pain by my very actions towards you. What good will saving you from _him_ be if I push you away from_ me _and you go and do something—"

As if. "Stop it, Severus," Harry said, his voice now angry. "Yes, I was furious with you today. You hurt me, but I do understand we have to do this. You have to trust me when I say I won't be doing anything foolish. I'll be fine." Harry was getting quite accustomed to saying the three words; they now rolled off his tongue quite easily.

"It's only the first day. I will do anything to protect you from _him,_ but at the same time, I will not allow you to forget that I love you, Harry. I may have to belittle and demean you in class, but all of it is so I can love you and be with you for the rest of our lives. Me being _his biological son_, and you, my soul mate, well, that is great incentive for him to get you. His methods are brutal, Harry, and even he has not used some of his former methods recently, although with Hagrid, earlier in the summer, and now with Minerva, he seems to have begun again."

"You are talking about Imperius_."_

Severus nodded. "Yes. If the Dark Lord uses Imperius to get you, Harry, there is little anyone can do. I have been under its effects before, and believe me, it is a helpless feeling. I pray that I am wrong, but my experience tells me that soon we will have to question everyone we meet outside of Hogwarts. _He _cannot place anyone under Imperius here behind the wards of Hogwarts, but anyone leaving the safety of the grounds for any reason could be placed under the unforgivable curse and return here appearing perfectly normal."

"Why couldn't I have been born a normal wizard? My life is so complicated." Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. This situation was serious but in a sadistic way it was comedic, and that is the way Harry had to look at it when things became too much.

Severus smiled and hugged Harry. "You were not born a normal wizard because obviously you were destined to become the soul mate of another wizard whose life was as equally complicated as yours."

Harry looked into Severus's eyes as he smiled. "We do make a good team, Severus. No one else could put up with us."

"Indeed. I really am sorry about what I said to you today."

Harry took in a deep breath and drank in the smell of Severus, loving that he was so loved. "Just don't let it happen again. You can say anything else but please leave my parents alone." Harry had tears in his eyes again. "It hurts, Sev, that they are not here, sometimes I just need them so badly."

"I know it does, love... and I know you miss them." _Would you understand it if I told you I miss them every bit as much as you?_ "You have my word that I will never refer to your father again."

Harry frowned. He could feel Severus's emotions and thought he was beginning to hear his thoughts, but then they left in a haze. "Thanks, Sev."

"So, how was your first day of lessons, other than mine?"

"Fine, I guess. Oh yeah, we had Dictator Black in Transfiguration. What did you say to him?"

Severus chuckled. "I simply gave him a few pointers and told him to take charge of his lessons from the minute the students entered. I take it he did that?"

"Oh yeah, and some. I think he is another you in the making."

"Dear, dear, we can't have two of me running around can we? Maybe he went a bit overboard today, but it is better that he sets his limits early on. I was afraid he would be the opposite and allow the brats to run over him."

"Nope, definitely not going to let that happen. He even told Hermione, Ron, and I that we have to call him Professor Black when in public, which I understand, of course, but it was just weird hearing him say that to us."

"Not to worry, my love. Your godfather is testing the waters; you can be rest assured that at any time, you could look at him with your big green eyes and get your way. He is an old softy when it comes to you. I guess I am as well." Severus placed a light kiss on Harry's forehead. "Did you get to spend some time with Ron and Hermione?"

Harry tensed. "Hermione knows that we were friends this summer and it is only a matter of time before she figures out the truth, or at least the part about us still being friends. I don't think she would ever suspect you and me of being anything more than friends, though, so that is good."

"Miss Granger is quite observant, yes." Severus didn't want to tell Harry about his confrontation with Hermione of the day before. Severus knew Harry was being bombarded by her as it was and didn't wish to add to his worries. "As she left Potion's today, she gave me an intense hateful look and I could tell she was not only upset, but disappointed. When I was berating you, I thought she was a step away from hexing me, and I am quite surprised she remained seated. I have never seen Miss Granger quite so animated."

That fact made Harry feel good. He knew Hermione was looking out for him. "Sev, I know we said none of the students could be told about us, but you must believe that she will find out eventually. Once she puts her mind to something, she will not let it go until she has the desired results. What if she does figure it out and tells someone else? I know it is risky, but I will feel much better knowing Hermione is aware of what is going on and how important it is to not let anyone else know. I mean, all the teachers already know, Sev. It's not like we're a complete secret."

"Harry. We have had this conversation before. I understand and agree with your reasoning, but your friends must not be placed in danger needlessly."

"And you think _he_ will leave them alone? They are my friends, Sev. They are not safe because of that fact alone. _He'll _do anything to get me, anything. You said so, yourself."

"Yes. He will. But you must remember, as long as they are behind the protection provided by Hogwarts, no one can get to them, and, _he _cannot extract information from them that they do not have, am I correct?" Harry nodded. "Harry, I do believe Miss Granger will more than likely figure this out on her own, and I also know that she is quite intelligent. She is not going to go broadcasting this across the castle. Obviously, this is being kept quiet for a reason, and she will pick up on that. If she comes to anyone, it will be you or me. When that time comes, we will deal with it. Until then... we keep it quiet, understood?"

Harry nodded his head again, glad that Severus was able to think rationally in these situations. Harry was getting there, but he still acted without thinking through situations most of the time.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty **

"Come on, Harry, we'll be late."

Harry began to say something rather flippant, but decided it best not to – Hermione was in one of her moods, but, then again, weren't they all? "I'm coming, Hermione. Don't worry; we'll be the first ones there."

"I can't help it if I am anxious. It's not every day that Professor Dumbledore requests my presence in his office with an official letter. It must be important."

Another smart remark came to mind, but Harry kept his mouth shut; it wasn't everyone who had the luck to be the _boy who lived_ and to have meetings with Dumbledore on a regular basis. He'd much rather be like Hermione and Ron, but that was a wish that would never be. Harry grinned and nodded and grinned at Hermione. Despite his numerous visits in the Headmaster's office, he was more than a little nervous, himself; he had a feeling that this meeting was going to change quite a few things. Term had barely begun and already there had been far too many disturbing happenings for Harry's comfort.

And, as if those issues were not enough to be going on with, his only form of relaxation had been taken away from him.

The Headmaster had made the announcement at breakfast: due to the increased security threats, there would be no Quidditch this year. Even with the pitch being on Hogwarts grounds, it was risky; someone might try to infiltrate the airspace. Harry knew Dumbledore was concerned for all Hogwarts students, but he also knew that this was about him being kept safe, and he felt sick to his stomach knowing that, because of him, there would be no Quidditch. The student reactions had been predictable, and there had been many unhappy students, Harry among them. This was his final year at Hogwarts and he had been so looking forward to winning the Quidditch Cup with his teammates, as well as experiencing the freedom he was allowed when on the Quidditch pitch. No matter what his mood, the feeling of gliding through the air and the feeling of the cool breeze whipping against his face brought him a peace that he had yet to find anywhere else. Quidditch had always been his release: When things became too stressful, he could take his broomstick up over the grounds of the castle and, for a brief time, forget his problems. They would be waiting for him when he landed, but for those few minutes or hours, they were forgotten. Now there would be little opportunity to fly; he knew his movements were going to be greatly restricted, and he was beginning to feel trapped, more so than he already had been.

He was going to miss Quidditch.

Harry and Hermione talked about the dueling club as they approached the Headmaster's office. The first meeting would be held the following Monday and both were looking forward to it. It would be much different from their second year, when Gilderoy Lockhart had been in charge of the club. Lockhart had been more interested in displaying his skills and achievements than he was about teaching the students anything of real value.

This Dueling Club would prove to be challenging; having two former Death Eaters and an Auror as their sponsors, there was not much possibility that the students who participated would leave this experience without being well versed in the fundamentals of dueling.

As the two approached the gargoyle, Lucius Malfoy turned into their path and the three nearly collided. Harry glanced hesitantly at the elder wizard. "I'm sorry, Professor Malfoy." And Harry meant it, but he still felt weird apologizing to him; shouldn't it be the other way around?

Lucius nodded his head. "Are the two of you here for the meeting with the Headmaster?"

Harry glanced at Hermione, whose face had paled. This wasn't at all good. "Yes, sir," was Harry's almost whispered reply as he tried to figure out what to do and what to say to Hermione, who looked about as terrified as someone who was facing the person who had killed her parents should probably look.

"I see," Lucius said, noticing the furtive glances Harry was giving his friend. "Then we should enter, as it is almost time for it to begin." He gave the password, which was _nutter butter,_ then followed the two Gryffindors to the Headmaster's office, more than a bit apprehensive. He did not want to have to face Hermione Granger, but he also knew he would have to. And as if that weren't enough, Lucius knew where he stood with the Headmaster. To be sure, he would never have anyone's full trust again, and since it was by his own hands, he had no one else to blame but himself.

Albus heard footsteps coming up the stairs and opened the door, waiting for them to enter. "Ah, welcome Miss Granger, Mr Potter, Lucius." Albus gave Lucius a slight nod, but his eyes were not sparkling as usual. The two had met on two different occasions in order to discuss Lucius's predicament. Albus now felt as if he could trust the former Death Eater enough to know that he would never betray him or hurt any of the students, but he would never fully get to that place in his comfort level where he would feel true ease in the other man's presence. Nevertheless, he had given shelter to those in need of it in the past and he wouldn't shy away from doing so now.

Harry turned to Hermione and saw that her face hadn't regained its colour and that now she was shaking. He turned slightly and his eyes met those of Lucius Malfoy, who looked down at his hands, which were balled up in his lap. "Professor Dumbledore, would it be alright if Hermione and I went outside for a minute? I need to ask her something. We will be back as soon as everyone else arrives."

Albus knew what Harry was doing, and was proud, as proud as a grandfather would be of their grandchild, and Albus did think of Harry as such. He felt a great responsibility for his surrogate son and grandson, and reveled in their successes and growth. "Yes, but why don't the two of you use my sitting room; it is through that door behind Fawkes."

Harry nodded. "Thank you, sir." He and Hermione entered the sitting room. Closing the door, Harry turned towards her. "Merlin, Hermione, I didn't think about Lucius being here; are you okay? Dumbledore can't expect you to be in the same room with him."

Hermione hesitantly nodded her head. "It was just a shock, I guess. I knew I would have to see him eventually."

"I'm sure Professor Dumbledore would understand if you wanted to leave."

Absolutely not. No matter how much being around Lucius Malfoy upset her, there was no way she was leaving. Hermione shook her head. "I am not leaving, Harry. I'm going to have to sit in his class, so I might as well get used to seeing him now."

"Yeah, guess you're right. I'm still not sure why Dumbledore allowed Draco's father to teach here. I believe his loyalties have changed and that he's being truthful with Dumbledore, but for what he did to your parents and tried to do to me, that is asking an awful lot of you and me."

"Yes, it is, but do you remember at your birthday party when I told you about him looking at me with a lost expression on his face when he was about to kill me?" At Harry's nod, Hermione continued. "I can't get that image out of my mind; he looked almost apologetic. I almost thought he was going to break down in front of me; I just don't understand. Do you think he regretted what he was doing?" Even as Hermione said it, she couldn't quite believe that she was thinking such things… but she was and she knew it could be true. Perhaps Lucius Malfoy was not completely bad. She was already beginning to realize that someone else whom she had never liked at all was not at all what she thought, so just maybe the same could be said for Lucius Malfoy.

Harry knew a great deal about what was going on since he had been at Hogwarts all summer, and because of Severus. He knew that Lucius had already begun spying when Hermione's parents were killed. He and Severus had been discussing this earlier in the day. Severus was beginning to think Lucius could have been under Imperius. Harry couldn't say anything to Hermione about this until they had definitive proof, however, and Harry was feeling rotten. He knew if Hermione heard this information, it would help her, but his hands were tied. "The Dark Lord is powerful, Hermione. Lucius must have already been considering his loyalties then, and he probably didn't want to murder your parents. But, as he was most likely still unsure about where his loyalties should be, he went through with _You Know Who's _plan, but when faced with you, maybe it occurred to him that you were the same age as his son, and how would he feel if someone murdered Draco. Unfortunately, now he does know how that feels. So, yeah, I think he regretted what he did. But nonetheless, he did murder your parents." Er, perhaps he had given a bit more away than he'd intended, but he really did want Hermione to not worry any more than she needed to.

Hermione tried to smile; she knew Harry was trying to help. "I don't think I'll ever want to be alone with him, Harry, but like you, I am willing to put my personal feelings aside because we all need to work together to bring down _You Know Who_. I think that is one of the reasons we are being called to the Headmaster's office: to discuss what will happen next."

Harry and Hermione talked for a few more minutes until they heard voices in the Headmaster's office. The two entered to find Professors' Snape, Black, and Malfoy, Neville, and Ron, all seated and chatting among themselves. Albus conjured two additional chairs for Harry and Hermione. Once they seated themselves, the Headmaster cleared his throat, immediately bringing to a halt any conversation that had been going on.

Albus began the meeting by informing both Hermione and Neville about what had transpired in the previous meeting. Both were obviously quite shocked upon hearing about Voldemort having had four heirs, which of course now, were only three.

Albus proceeded to tell them about Voldemort's plans for them. "I am concerned for the safety of each of you in this room. _He Who Must Not Be Named _will no doubt be in hot pursuit of his three remaining heirs, and he will also be wanting to rebuild his following; his ranks have been all but decimated by Aurors. From the information the Ministry has recovered, even since we met last, I am more convinced now than I was before that he is after the four of you; he wants to make you his followers. As long as you remain at Hogwarts, you will remain safe, but once you leave the confines of the grounds, you are unprotected.

"In the most recent files translated by Ministry officials, it has been revealed that the Dark Lord not only wants to gain your following, _he_ wants to bind each of you to each other and then bind all of you to him. In doing this, _he_ will have complete control over you. Once each of you is bound, _he_ will be your life force. If _he_ dies, each of you will die as well. Each of you will be the submissive part of the bond to his dominant position. With the four of you being the submissive part of the bond, _he_ will be able to affect each of you by punishing one of the others of you. When _he_ inflicts pain on one of you, each of you will experience the effects just as if the pain was being inflicted directly on your body.

"For these reasons, it is my belief that 'he' is not really after the four of you to follow him. It is my belief that he wants the four of you to recruit his new followers for him. He never has been one for exerting himself when there are others who could do his work for him. " Albus glanced at Severus and raised his eyebrows as if asking for an affirmation of his statement; Severus nodded.

Albus then proceeded to tell everyone that the Dark Lord was thought to be employing Imperius again as his weapon of choice. He made it clear that, for this reason, it was imperative that the students and heirs stayed within Hogwarts grounds at all times.

"Last week, Ministry officials raided the Lestrange Manor and found documents containing information regarding each of you students; your timetables from last term were included. This is indeed serious," Albus added, not enjoying having to watch his students looking so forlorn.

All of the students were staring wide-eyed at the Headmaster, but Harry broke the silence. "He won't get us; we won't allow him to, Headmaster. We will do whatever is necessary to ensure our safety."

Hermione, Ron, and Neville all nodded their heads in agreement.

Severus allowed a slight smile to escape: This was the Gryffindor with the never-say-die spirit that Severus had been searching for. _Welcome back, Harry._

"With that attitude, each of you should feel confident; in these times we need all the strength we can muster. I have no doubt each of you is up to the challenge. To ensure this, I have devised two plans of action in order to help each of you." Albus allowed his eyes to travel around his office to rest on each of the inhabitants. "As you all know, the Dueling Club has been reinstated this year. I thought it would be a good release for the students, and it is always prudent that students know at least the basics of dueling, especially in these times. However, this will also serve as a diversion. Each of you students in here needs to be trained in advanced dueling and defense tactics. This club will be your cover. Your professors' cover to teach you these highly difficult and intricate skills will be their sponsoring of and presiding over the club. Since these are dark times, the level of the techniques taught will increase every week. We encourage everyone to participate, but it is likely there will not be many students who will be able to keep up with the challenging abilities required for competing at such a strenuous level. This will allow each of you more time to devote to your individual lessons."

Neville looked up and the Headmaster could see his eyes had grown to the size of saucers, and he chuckled. "I am aware that you all practiced dueling in the DA during your fifth and sixth years, with Harry, so I am sure you each are prepared for the advanced rigorous training required of you. I have heard quite a lot of talk around the castle about the dueling club; interest in it seems very good. I am sure it will be a nice diversion from the other goings on of late." Albus sensed excitement as well as nervousness from the students, but he knew they all would do well with dueling. "As I said, there are two things I have devised to help you. The second is that I have assigned each of you students a mentor; this is first and foremost a safety precaution, but your mentor will also be able to help you with revision, dueling, and anything else you might have a problem with. Hogwarts is safe, but with you four, we can take no chances. Being that all seven of you in this room are being actively sought out, I have decided to pair up Miss Granger and Mr Weasley with Professor Black, Professor Snape will be Mr Potter's mentor, and Professor Malfoy will be Mr Longbottom's. It is up to each of you to schedule your meeting times, but it is mandatory that you check in with your mentor at breakfast and then again at supper."

After a few other remarks, the meeting was over and everyone left except Hermione and Neville, who had been asked to stay behind. Harry and Ron were talking quietly among themselves by the gargoyle when Severus approached them.

"Potter, come to my office now so we can schedule our _mentoring_ sessions, and be done with it."

"Yes, sir. I'll see you later in the common room, Ron." Harry then caught up with Severus and sighed as if he were put upon. "I was just talking to Ron."

"And I was just keeping up appearances_,_" Severus said, his voice soft, a hint of humour. The two entered Severus's sitting room and removed their cloaks before kissing.

Harry pulled back and licked his lips. "I missed you, Severus. Do you know how hard it is to sit in the same room with you and pretend to loathe you? I'm just happy we were sitting on opposite ends of the Headmaster's office so I could see you."

"I thought the same. What is that noise?" Severus asked as he as he scrunched up his face and looked around as if something smelled bad, but he knew what it was, which led him to wonder why the sound wasn't coming from Harry's arm.

"Oh, that must be Sapiens, I left him on the bed. He prob'ly heard us come in."

"Why didn't you take him with you to the meeting?" enquired an alarmed Severus. Harry was never to be without Sapiens.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know; just thought I'd leave him here and let him rest."

That wasn't at all good and Severus would have to impart the importance of Harry keeping Sapiens with him at all times, but that could wait… a few hours, at least. He had rather urgent needs at the moment, ones that did not include a hissing snake. "You better find another resting place for your familiar."

Harry looked pensively at Severus, but soon a smile broke out across his face and he ran into the bedroom, removed Sapiens from the bed, and placed him in the box he had conjured for the snake. A few minutes later, he felt strong arms sneak around his waist and lips that attached against his neck. "Mmm, Sev." Harry somehow maneuvered himself so that he could turn his body so that he could look into Severus's eyes. Severus then picked him up and placed him on the bed before joining him.

The two continued looking into each other's eyes, blinking only when necessary. Hands explored each other, but the two sets of eyes never moved. Their faces were not smiling, nor were they frowning.

Severus broke the spell. "What are your plans tonight?"

"I told Ron and Hermione I'd meet them in the common room after you and me finished our meeting."

Severus opened his mouth to correct Harry, who hadn't mastered the correct usage of me and I. but then smiled and shook his head. Did he really want to teach Harry proper English tonight? Not particularly. "Hmm. Are you in a hurry?"

"No. They said they'd wait for me." Harry thought he'd said that rather quickly, but the look in Severus's eyes was promising, and Harry wanted to see just what the promise was.

"Excellent. I have plans for you that will last as long as you wish, and I promise your friends will not know the difference when you return to them; they will simply think you had a long and boring meeting with the greasy git Potions master." Severus leaned down and kissed Harry briefly.

"Mmm, I like your plans." Harry reached up and returned the quick kiss from Severus with one of his own. "But I really shouldn't leave them waiting too long; can't have them getting suspicious."

Harry giggled as he kissed Severus on the nose, and Severus rolled his eyes. His young soul mate really was the purest form he had ever come across. No matter what past events had marred Harry's life, he possessed a spirit about him that was always present; it may not always be easy to discern, but it was there, nonetheless. With Harry by his side, Severus would never be allowed to feel old. Harry was a free spirit and would take Severus with him for the ride.

For the next hour, Severus and Harry forgot about everything and their world shrunk to a population of two as their minds, bodies, and souls became one. Severus was gentle with Harry but took the young man where he wanted to go.

**~*~**

Lucius entered his office after Neville, and shut the door. "How are you feeling today, Mr Longbottom?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Are your lessons going well thus far?"

"Yes, sir."

Lucius sensed the young man in front of him was slightly uncomfortable, and why wouldn't he be? "Would you like for the Headmaster to assign you another mentor, Neville?"

Neville shook his head. "No, sir; Professor Snape doesn't like me and Professor Black already has Ron and Hermione."

So yes, Lucius was once again the last choice… it was more than he deserved. "If you should change your mind, please let me know; this is for your safety, and if you are not comfortable, it will be a long year I am afraid."

"Yes, sir." Neville could do this; he would get through this; he had no choice, and he didn't want one, really. He had come to the conclusion that he needed to understand Lucius Malfoy and what made him the way he was. It was completely mental, and Neville thought he might not always feel as generous as he did now, but he wanted to try. He also knew that Dumbledore wouldn't have allowed a dangerous person to walk the corridors of Hogwarts… he hoped.

Lucius conjured a chair for his student to sit in and then sat behind his desk. "Neville, before we begin scheduling our meetings, I must talk to you about my role in your—"

Neville shook his head. "You don't have to say anything, Professor."

"But I do, Neville."

"I saw it, Professor. I know it wasn't you and Professor Snape, sir."

So Neville had seen what had happened. "Have you told anyone?"

"No, sir. No one asked, and I was too little to understand what I should have done. All I could understand was that my mother and father had been sent away. After that, it didn't matter who did it to them — they were gone; that's all I needed to remember."

"But you did tell someone eventually about Professor Snape and myself, correct?"

"No, sir. I was angry at both of you; you had come to murder my parents, and even though you didn't, you allowed two other Death Eaters inside to torture my parents. I watched in horror as my parents slowly went insane from being under Cruciatus. Do you know what that does to a four-year-old child?"

Lucius knew all too well what witnessing Cruciatus did to a four-year-old child. He nodded his head.

"But as angry as I was, there was no way I could allow the Ministry to put the blame on the two of you."

"It would have served me right to have been sent to Azkaban, Neville, but that is not a topic I want to discuss. What you do need to know is that Professor Snape is the reason your parents were not murdered that night. He risked his life to make sure your parents lived. Unfortunately, he was unable to make sure they survived mentally intact." Lucius didn't know how much information Neville knew about Severus's spying for Dumbledore, so he decided to find out more information before he and Neville continued this train of thought.

**~*~**

"Hello students. I do hope you are all prepared for this very important year; your NEWTs will determine how far you go after Hogwarts, and what you will be doing with the rest of your lives. I cannot emphasize enough how vital it is for each of you to take this class seriously. I will accept nothing less than my students' absolute best. I am well aware that each of you is capable of NEWT-level material, as each of you had me last year for first level of NEWT Charms. Today we will review what we studied last year. Who can tell me what was the last topic we covered last term?"

Of course, it was Hermione who had her arm up before anyone else. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Patronus charms, sir."

"Correct, Miss Granger; five points to Gryffindor. Can you also tell me what is the origin of one's Patronus: what causes one's Patronus to show itself and what a Patronus charm is used to get rid of?"

"Yes, sir. A Patronus can only be conjured when the person trying for the Patronus thinks an extremely happy thought. Once a happy thought is conjured, the one performing the Patronus charm must say Expecto Patronum with conviction in their voice, and once the Patronus shows itself, it will get rid of Dementors that are near."

"Well done, Miss Granger. Another five points to Gryffindor. Once Expecto Patronum is said with conviction, one's Patronus should appear. Being that this charm is used in situations where the bearer is facing a Dementor, it is not unheard of for one to perform the Patronus charm several times before their Patronus finally reveals itself. Dementors are vile and evil creatures who force you to relive your most horrible moments. For anyone unlucky enough to have ever faced one of them, they will never forget the experience."

Everyone in the room turned to look at Harry.

"I believe that only three of you were able to conjure a Patronus last year. Mr Potter, would you come to the front of the room and show the others your Patronus? I have brought a Boggart and will release it for you when you are ready."

Harry slowly stood and walked to the front of the classroom where Professor Flitwick was sitting. Having to see a Dementor, boggart or not, was not at all what Harry wanted to be doing. He hoped that he was strong enough to conjure his Patronus; he hadn't done any strenuous magic since before Draco was murdered, and since then, his body had gone through quite an ordeal. All of the professors had been asked, by Dumbledore, to allow him to slowly acclimate himself with his magical abilities. Obviously, Professor Flitwick was disregarding this request. Harry was nervous, but he refused to let it show.

The Boggart was released and immediately took the form of a Dementor, one that was currently floating towards Harry, who raised his wand, conjured in his mind an image of him and Severus exchanging rings, and then yelled with as much intensity as he could muster, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

The students gasped in awe at the beautiful silver stag that appeared out of the end of Harry's wand. The stag looked at the Dementor and headed towards it.

The Dementor disappeared as the stag made contact with it, but the amount of energy used by Harry had left him weak. He began seeing white dots in front of his eyes, and a few seconds later, he fainted.

The students gasped and Hermione let a small scream escape. After a few minutes, Harry began to stir and finally sat up, but remained seated on the floor as everyone stared wide-eyed at him.

Professor Flitwick looked pensively at the young man on his floor and looked up at Hermione. "Please accompany Mr Potter to the hospital wing, Miss Granger."

Hermione helped Harry stand, then the two proceeded to leave the Charms room.

"Harry, can you walk? I can get someone if you need help."

Harry found it difficult to breathe. "I can walk."

But halfway there Harry couldn't go on and slid down the wall. Hermione was frantic; there was no one in the corridors and she had to get Harry to Madam Pomfrey as soon as possible. "Harry, I'll be right back. Don't move, okay?"

"I couldn't if I wanted to." Harry's eyes peered up at his friend and saw sadness in her eyes that seemed to mirror his own. He wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep.

Hermione ran all the way to the dungeons and went to the Potions classroom, which was empty. Praying that Professor Snape would be in his office, Hermione walked until she saw the light on underneath the Potion master's door. Not caring, Hermione began knocking frantically.

Wondering who was currently incessantly knocking, Severus opened the door. Seeing an out-of-breath Hermione, his heart fell – he knew. Perhaps he was wrong, but he doubted it.

"Miss Granger, what brings you to my office at this time? You most assuredly should be in class, I am guessing, am I correct?"

"Yes, sir, in Charms. There has been an accident: it's Harry."

Severus tensed but kept his eyes averted from Hermione's prying eyes.

"Professor Flitwick made Harry conjure his Patronus, and he passed out; I think he exerted himself too much. He said he could walk to the hospital wing, but when he couldn't walk any further I didn't know what else to do. He is so weak, Professor. You've got to help him." Hermione's voice was full of panic. She couldn't understand why Harry had passed out from performing the Patronus charm, but she did know that he had been having visions and nightmares recently, and thought that probably had something to do with it. She was hoping she had done the right thing by getting Professor Snape. No matter what he had told her, she knew he and Harry were friends.

"Please take me to him, Miss Granger." Severus remained as calm as he could outwardly, but screamed on the inside. Hermione began walking and Severus followed her, seething with anger. _Filius knew damn well that Harry was not strong enough to use the magic required to conjure a Patronus. Damn him. I will not allow him to take out his frustration about Harry and me on Harry. He can do what he wants to me, but he will not hurt my Harry._

Severus caught up with Hermione, whom he could tell was worried. "Was he able to get rid of the Dementor?"

"Yes, sir, then he passed out."

Hermione could feel the tension in her professor, and she felt sorry for him; his countenance had changed dramatically in just the few seconds she had been in her professor's presence: his fists were balled up and his knuckles were white. "He'll be fine, Professor, he just needs rest."

Severus could only nod solemnly as Hermione studied his face. Hermione continued looking at him, and eventually his eyes met hers. Almost in a whisper, he spoke. "Miss Granger, we all have our roles to play; I am sure you understand."

Hermione nodded.

When Severus saw Harry, it took every ounce of reserve that he had not to run to him and pick him up. If Harry had been unconscious he would have, damn the consequences. As it was, Harry was leaning against the wall looking at the two approaching him, his face flush.

Severus looked at his watch: there was an hour left before the corridors would again be filled with noisy students. Severus made his decision and picked up Harry as gently as he could in his arms and proceeded to the hospital wing, with Hermione at his side. "Miss Granger, I think it best if you return to Professor Flitwick's class and inform him that Mr Potter is safely in the hospital wing." Hermione looked upset at having to leave her friend, but nodded and turned to leave. "Thank you, Miss Granger, for coming to get me."

As Hermione left to return to Charms, Severus quickened his pace. He knew Harry would be okay. He had exceeded his abilities, and it had sapped him of his energy, but with rest, he would be okay. Severus was tempted to take Harry to their rooms and keep him there; he had the potions Harry needed, but this was not an option; Harry had to go see Madam Pomfrey.

Three potions and two hours later, Harry was released from the hospital wing after he promised to take it easy. Severus had left him soon after telling Poppy what had happened. There were students already being looked at by Poppy, so there was no choice but for him to leave.

Entering the Great Hall, Harry spotted Ron and Hermione. He took a seat across from Ron and began filling his plate. His friends looked at him as if expecting him to give them a detailed account of what had happened. "I'm okay: Madam Pomfrey gave me some potions that made me sleep for a couple of hours, and now I am okay."

"What happened? Did your visions cause you to become weak?"

"Yeah, Hermione, they did."

"But surely all of the professors know, and wouldn't have you do any strenuous magic until you have regained your strength."

"Maybe Professor Flitwick forgot." Harry shrugged his shoulders; he knew good and well that Flitwick hadn't forgotten.

"I bet Flitwick gets it from Dumbledore." Ron looked at Harry as he filled his plate up with seconds.

The three finished their lunch then headed for their next class, which for Harry and Hermione, was Arithmancy. Harry was taking this class because he was no longer interested in sitting through Divination, where his death had been predicted daily. He didn't need this class, but that was fine with him: He enjoyed having a class that wouldn't count against his NEWTs – it was was only the second day of lessons, and already, Harry was beginning to feel overwhelmed; it reminded him of his fifth year when the teachers were constantly on them about preparing for their OWLs.

**~*~**

Severus kept a close watch on Harry during supper, careful not to draw attention to himself. He was pleased to see that Harry was in a cheerful mood. After last night, he felt confident Harry was getting over his recent setbacks. The incident with Flitwick had been unfortunate, but Severus felt confident Harry wouldn't let it get to him.

Also paying close attention to Harry from the High Table was Sirius. Severus had told him about what had transpired during Charms, and to say that Sirius was upset would be a gross understatement. He'd already heard that his godson had been subjected to some rather rude comments in Herbology the previous day. His days as a troublemaker were long gone, but Harry's future could very well be in the balance, and Sirius wasn't willing to sit or stand by and watch as two of his fellow staff members treated his godson in such a way. _The two of them have another thing coming if they think I am going to simply sit here and allow them to taunt my godson. Why is it so difficult for them to accept Harry and Severus? Hell, even I've accepted them; that alone should prove anything is possible._

Most of the students had left, leaving only a smattering of Hufflepuffs and a few teachers behind, including both Professors' Flitwick and Sprout.

_This is for you, Harry, _Sirius said, his face all seriousness_._

Standing up, he made his way over to where the two were talking. "Excuse me, we need to talk… **now**." Both of them looked at him, shocked expressions on their faces. "Oh please… the two of you know exactly why I am here. Now why in Merlin's name would you have Harry conjure his Patronus this morning, Flitwick? You knew damn well that he was not ready for that level of activity yet. And you, Sprout, what gives you the right to make comments behind Harry's back when you think no one is listening? Tell me, both of you, I want to know."

"I most certainly have never made any rude comments about Mr Potter, and I quite resent you saying I have," sputtered Pamona Sprout.

"Well, Sprout, obviously you thought you were safely away from prying ears, but it seems you weren't. I would trust the ears that overheard you over your word any day. You have done nothing but try to denigrate Harry and Severus since you found out about them being soul mates. You too, Flitwick. I thought for sure that you,of all people,would support them; you were always one of Harry's biggest supporters, helping him when he needed it. Is it Severus? Well let me tell you both, I held a grudge against Severus Snape for over twenty-five years, and couldn't stand to be in his presence. I hated him because of an event that neither of us had any control over. I could have continued brooding over my past hurts, but then I had to make a choice between continuing to harbor my grudge against him and in the process lose my godson, or get past my grievances and be involved in my godson's life. Fortunately, with the help of Harry, I have realised how wrong I was to blame Severus for something he had nothing to do with. Through Harry, I have come to know a decent and honourable human being. It didn't happen overnight, but I can honestly say that now I respect Severus Snape more than I thought possible. I trust him with my godson's life, and I think you know how much Harry means to me. That man would die to save Harry and that is more than the two of you would do for **any** of these students." Filius opened his mouth to respond, but Sirius raised his hand, then continued as if there had been no interruption. "The two of them would never have been allowed to be together in a relationship as teacher and student if it were not for them being under the effects of Substringo Infinitio. They are **soul mates. **Do the two of you have any idea how rare or how special that is? Is it really asking too much for the two of you to accept this and welcome it as a true blessing instead of turning up your noses at it? This is new to all of us, but I know Severus and Harry need all of our support. The two of you must be aware of what is expected of the two: they will more than likely be the ones to face and kill _He Who Must Not Be Named._ That is not a fate I am wanting for my godson, but I have no choice in the matter. Those two men will risk their lives to save us all. Should you be looking down upon them, or should you be lifting them up and supporting them?"

Sirius turned around and left.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One**

As Sirius walked away from Flitwick and Sprout, he smirked as he thought about how his little speech had gone: his impassioned plea, disguised as it was, had gone far better than he could have imagined; James would be proud, as would Lily. He glanced over his shoulder: the two were talking to each other, worried looks on their faces, and that caused a satisfied grin to break out across Sirius's face. He might be grown up, but he would never tire of putting inept people in their places.

**~*~**

"How dare he insinuate that we have been—"

"Come on, Sprout, admit it: Sirius is right; we have both been giving Harry and Severus a hard time. You and I were the ones who objected to them being allowed to be together. Everyone knows how much we were and are opposed to this. I still don't like it, but I suppose Sirius is right; this is the way it is and it is not going to change. We both know where the Headmaster's loyalties are; he would do anything for the _Golden Boy_. So, I think our best course of action would be to lay off Harry. I never have cared for Severus Snape and certainly have no plans to cease treating him as I always have. We both know Sirius wouldn't care about Severus if it were not for his godson. As long as we are cordial to Harry and ignore what is going on, we should be fine." Filius hadn't at all liked the dressing down he and Pamona had received, but he would at least attempt to be a bit nicer to Harry. Unfortunately, Pamona wasn't looking at all convinced.

"Filius," Pamona said, anger evident, "are you saying that you are going to accept this and allow it to happen?"

"I am not _allowing _anything to happen, Pamona. Albus is the one doing that. We're going to lose this battle, no matter what we think, do, or say. I like Harry, and I did help him last year. He was one of the few students who seemed to genuinely take an interest in what I had to say, not just about the charms I taught, but regarding the theories behind them. If it is true that he and Severus will be the ones to face _You Know Who_, then it is our duty as his teachers to prepare him as much as we can. Now don't think I've suddenly gone soft and changed my mind about everything, because I haven't, but, this is only the second day of classes, and I refuse to begin the year with the Headmaster breathing down my back. If he wants his _Golden Boy_ treated as an equal, then so be it."

Pamona couldn't tell if the smile Filius had on his face was genuine or not; she had the feeling it was the latter and returned it with a smirk of her own before turning and leaving.

**~*~**

Harry entered the Gryffindor common room where he saw Ginny and Hermione talking. He wanted to turn around and leave, but as he had already been spotted by some others, it wouldn't do for him to leave; he'd never hear the end of it. He wasn't trying to avoid them, really he wasn't. It was just that it was getting harder for him to act as if everything was okay when it wasn't, and he knew his friends knew something was wrong with him, especially Hermione. The two had most of the same lessons together, and Harry could feel Hermione's constant stare – it almost seemed as if she was keeping watch over him, as if he might do something bad if she looked away.

Taking a few breaths and mentally preparing himself, he approached the girls and sat down beside them on the sofa, and Ginny turned and looked at him, with pity. So much for his hoping they'd not be like the group that had just stopped him in the corridor and told him he didn't look at all well. Of course, he didn't look well! He would have used a charm to cover that fact up if it had been a possibility, but Severus had warned him about using Concealment Charms. It seemed that Harry's body, having been weakened, wouldn't be able to accept the charms, or if they did, they'd likely not work correctly. This being the case, Harry had been ordered not to use them, a fact he detested; he loathed anyone telling him what to do, but he had to admit that being told by your soul mate, one who was quite a bit more intelligent, made it easier to abide by their wishes. So, by order of Severus, Harry couldn't cover up the black circles underneath his eyes or the puffiness and redness that were surrounding them, nor could he hide the weight-loss that was becoming more evident.

He was ready to scream; he was so damn defenseless; he knew if Voldemort came after him, there wasn't a thing he could do to stop him. It wasn't a feeling he liked, and it was something he hadn't experienced before. He'd always been the strong one, the one who faced the evil and came out on top. Everything was different now, and Harry knew it was all part of Voldemort's new strategy to get him. It hadn't been proven, but Harry knew – he'd always known – Voldemort would win in the end.

Hermione turned towards him and did her best to hide the concern she felt; she knew Harry reacted badly to others pity towards him. Ginny, not being able to hide her pity, engaged him in a discussion about the European Quidditch Cup, and then she showed him her scrapbook from her holiday in Rome. She and Hermione managed to keep him interested for a while, but they could tell he didn't want to be there. Then Harry fell over and began moaning.

"Harry? Harry? **Harry**?"

Harry shook his head and looked up at the two concerned faces peering closely at him. Could he ever get through one day without something happening to him? Not6 likely. "I'm fine; it must have just been my scar; he must be happy or mad."

Hermione knew better and gave Harry a knowing look. "Ginny, could you go get a wet flannel?" Ginny immediately darted up the stairs towards their dorm room.

"Harry, I'm going to take you to Snape; he'll know what to do."

"Wh—"

Hermione glared. "Don't. I know about the two of you being friends. He all but told me this morning when I was taking you to the hospital wing. Don't look at me like that. Look, I'll explain later; you need help. You look like you are going to pass out and I'd really like to get you there before anyone else sees us."

**~*~**

Severus was in his workroom working on Harry's potion. He had been working on a potion for Lucius during the past week, and now that it had been perfected and they knew without a doubt that the elder Malfoy had been under Imperius, he was anxious to get back to the Voldemort-blocking potion. He felt sure he was close to perfecting it, but unfortunately, for it to work effectively, Severus was going to need a drop of Voldemort's blood. Getting close enough to get the blood would be next to impossible and then getting the blood was even trickier. Severus needed a plan, and a backup plan. He would get what he needed, as there were no other answers to Harry's rapidly declining health. Barring a miracle, if Severus didn't get this potion perfected, Harry's future was looking rather bleak, and it hadn't escaped Severus's thoughts that his future looked the same. He had never cared before if he lived or died, but now that he had Harry, he wanted a long life.

Severus heard knocking on his door and saw through his wards who it was. Opening the door with his wand, he beckoned Hermione and Harry inside and closed the door behind them. "What happened?"

As upset as Harry still was at both Hermione and Severus, he was in a bit too much pain at the moment to care about that. "I was talking to Hermione and Ginny and my head began hurting. I started moaning and Hermione told me she was going to bring me to you."

Oh. Not good. Severus noticed the glare Harry was giving him, and wondered what was wrong, other than the fact that Harry wasn't feeling well. He turned and looked at Hermione. "Thank you, Miss Granger. He'll be fine, I assure you." She took this as her dismissal and turned to leave. "And Miss Granger?"

Hermione stopped and glanced back at Professor Snape. "Yes?"

"Please tell Professor Black I will have Mr Potter back before curfew."

"Yes, sir. Bye, Harry." Hermione didn't want to leave, but she knew there was no choice in the matter.

As soon as Hermione left, Harry turned on Severus. No matter that he felt as if his head was about to explode, he was furious and needed to vent his anger. "Hermione said you told her about us; she knows. So it is fine for you to go telling everyone about us, but I have to keep my mouth shut, I guess?" Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes as a sharp pain shot through his head

"Harry, calm down; you shouldn't be getting yourself worked up like this."

**"Don't tell me to calm down, Severus. I am sick and tired of doing what everyone says. **_**Don't tell her, she will be in danger. Rest, and you'll get your strength back. Remember it is all an act and I love you. It will be okay**_**," **Harry all but shouted**, **but then he stopped and took a few small breaths and shut his eyes again. He only re-opened them when he felt Severus's cool fingers caressing his cheek. He opened his mouth to continue his tirade, but then decided that yelling would get him nowhere. "I am so damned tired of hearing everyone telling me it's going to be okay; it's not okay, Sev. _You Know Who is _trying to kill me, and I am expected to act as if everything is normal? I don't think so. I have been calm and have tried to accept everything that has happened. Up until this year, I didn't really care enough about what was happening to me, but now I do, Severus; I have reason to care, and I refuse to just sit by any longer and take it. If that bastard wants me, then you know what? Let him have me." Harry's rant seemed to take a lot out of him and as he finished, he collapsed in one of the chairs and put his head in his hands.

Harry looked to be near the breaking point, and Severus was secretly applauding the young man for lashing out; it was long overdue. He nodded as Harry looked up at him, frown still fully in place. "That must have felt... liberating; I wondered how long it would take you, but I don't want to ever hear you say anything about letting him have you. Come on, Harry, that is not you talking. And about Hermione, she was the one who brought me to you this morning. You were correct; she did know we were friends. She saw how sad I must have looked and told me you would be fine. I owed her the truth: I told her we all had our roles to play and I knew she understood. I think I was well within my rights to tell her that, but I revealed nothing further; I would not do that to you."

Harry shook his head; not even Severus could understand him. He was lost and was afraid he would never find his place again. "I'm tired, Severus. All I want is to love you, and to leave Hogwarts, but with these visions I'm being subjected to, I'm not being allowed either. I'm too weak to be your lover, and I'm too tired to pay attention in lessons. How can I possibly be expected to do anything in this pathetic state I am in? You know, even though I never knew, you and everyone else always did know what my destiny was. You al—"

Not good. Even as Harry had every right to be upset, he needed to calm down before he ended up back in the hospital wing. "Sto—"

"No, Severus, you want me to get it all out, so you're going to hear what I have to say," Harry said, not caring that he was being childish, or that he was making himself feel worse by the second. He coughed a few times and shook his head when Severus reached out to him. "You all knew that I was the one who was going to have to eventually kill that fucking bastard. So what does it matter that my mother's love saved me? Lots of good it did her; she is dead, just like my father. So she saved me, but no one could save her. Didn't you tell my parents it was going to be okay? Yeah, I think you did. If I recall correctly, you told them Dumbledore knew of the bastard's plans and the two of you had devised a way to make sure my parents were safe. What happened? Can you tell me, Severus? My parents trusted you with their life; they trusted you with my life. It's all just too much, why me? Why does it have to be fucking Harry Potter who has to save the day? What makes you think I can do it when you couldn't?"

Harry had tears falling on his cloak but he didn't move to wipe them away. As he lifted his head and looked at Severus, however, he brought his hands to his face and covered his eyes. What had he done? He hadn't meant to say any of that. Severus didn't even know that he knew most of what he had just said. "Oh Merlin, I'm sorry, Severus, I didn't mean it. I'm—"

Severus nodded, but couldn't say anything: everything Harry said was true. He had assured both James and Lily that he and Dumbledore had things under control, and he had been wrong. It had been his responsibility to find out who the spy was; he should have seen the signs that it was Peter and not Sirius. He had allowed his personal hatred of Black to colour his decisions and that had led to Severus making the biggest mistake of his life. Harry had every right to lash out at him. That didn't mean the words Harry said hadn't hurt, however. Not a day passed that he did not grieve the loss of James and Lily; his inability to protect them was something he would never forgive himself for. He sat looking sadly at Harry as tears began running down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Harry."

Harry wanted to die. He had hurt Severus in the worst way possible, and he didn't know why. He loved Severus and would never hurt him for the world, but he had, and couldn't take back what he'd said. "I'll just go get my things; you won't have to see me ever again, I promise." Harry ran to Severus's rooms, and as he entered their bedroom, he fell on the bed and cried so hard he couldn't catch his breath, his sounds muffled by the comforter. He was so upset with everything: he wanted it all to end so he could be happy with Severus, but now Severus wasn't going to want to be happy with him. Why oh why had he said that to him? He hadn't meant to.

Harry felt an arm wrap around his back and arms and felt another arm under his legs, then felt himself being lifted. He opened his eyes and saw Severus holding him. Harry reached up and wiped a tear away. "You must hate me, Sev."

"I love you, Harry, and I think if it is possible, I love you even more now, knowing that you got all those feelings out in the open. I know you don't blame me, and I know much of what you said was in anger, but I did have a great deal to do with what eventually happened. No matter how close we are, Harry, there is no way you could not hold some animosity towards me for what happened."

"But Sev, I don't, I really don't. You couldn't have known. I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it—"

Severus placed a finger over Harry's mouth and shook his head. "Shh. It's okay, I'm here, and I'm not leaving." A few minutes later Severus heard the steady rhythm of Harry's breathing; he had fallen asleep. "I'll never leave you, Harry."

Severus had been deeply hurt by Harry's words, but hearing the desperation in Harry's voice had been worse. He had been through so much and had never been allowed to mourn properly. Severus knew that what Harry was now going through was the result of everything the young wizard had ever been through his entire life. He also knew it had been more important for him to allow Harry to vent his feelings rather than have Harry keep the feelings inside and have them manifest themselves in a much worse and potentially deadly fashion later.

**~*~**

Ron entered the Great Hall and sat by Harry as he grabbed some toast and pumpkin juice. "What do you have this morning?"

"Muggle Studies, Defence Against the Dark Arts, then Charms. Where's Hermione?" Harry smiled and tried acting as if everything was normal; he couldn't continue thinking about what he'd said to Severus; it was making him sick.

"She told me she would meet us in here; said she needed to talk to Neville. If I didn't know better I'd say she and Neville had something going on."

A chuckle was Harry's response. "Hernione? And Neville? Not likely, mate. Anyway, she is hopelessly in love with your brother."

"Yeah, I guess, but whatever Hermione and Neville are discussing must be important; they've been spending a lot of time together."

"Are you jealous, Ron? I think it probably has to do with the fact that they can both relate to each other. Neville's parents are in St. Mungo's and Hermione's parents were killed. I think the Headmaster suggested they become friends and help each other."

Ron shrugged his shoulders, but didn't look convinced. "That makes sense, I guess, and no I'm not jealous; Hermione can do what she wants. She and I tried dating if you remember, and we ended up almost hexing each other. She and Percy are a perfect match." Trying to change the subject, Ron looked at the High Table and saw Professor Black looking their way. "I wonder how Flitwick and Sprout are going to treat you now?'

"Why would you say that?"

Ron rolled his eyes at Harry and sighed as if Harry was daft not to know. "You didn't hear about what happened?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Ron." But he had a bad feeling that it was about him; everything these days was about him. "What's going on?" he asked, noticing that Ron suddenly looked as if he might shouldn't have said anything. "Tell me."

"Er, I heard that Sirius really let Flitwick and Sprout have it last night."

Harry turned his gaze towards the High Table where his eyes met those of his godfather, and frowned, receiving a perplexed look in response. "Who told you?"

"I overheard a Hufflepuff talking to her friends. All she heard was your name mentioned and you not being strong enough yet to do difficult magic. But she said Professor Black looked murderous." Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, that is what she said."

"That is bloody wonderful; now Flitwick will really let me have it. Sometimes I don't understand Sirius." Harry looked back at Sirius, who appeared to be standing up to leave. "Ron, I'm going to talk to Sirius. Tell Hermione I'll talk to her later.

He ran and caught up with his godfather, and when they were out of the Great Hall, Harry couldn't control his voice. "Why did you have to confront Flitwick and Sprout, Sirius? They can't stand me and Severus as it is; now they will be intolerable."

"Harry, someone had to say something because you certainly weren't going to. You could have suffered permanent damage from conjuring your Partronus, and I will be damned if I sit around and allow anyone to make condescending remarks about you. You act as if everything is fine, but it isn't, is it? You know as well as I do how weak you still are. Merlin, Harry, if anything happened to you—"

"Stop, just stop, okay? I'm sorry, Sirius. Yes, I know exactly how weak I am, and how close I came yesterday to being injured. Thank you for doing what you did, it really does mean a lot to me. I'm just so mad. Everything seemed to finally be coming together for me; I was happy for the first time in my life. Then all of this started." He pointed to his scar. "At first I thought it was not a big deal; Dumbledore kept telling me that Severus and I being under Substringo Infinitio would allow me to heal quickly. But then for some reason, I began getting worse instead of better. None of this makes sense, Sirius. I feel like I am losing my mind. Severus is working on a potion to block _You Know Who_ from getting into my mind, but until then, I don't know what to do."

"You haven't had any visions this week, have you?" Harry shook his head but Sirius had the impression Harry was holding something back. "Harry, please don't shut me out. I want to help."

"Yeah, I know. I better get to Muggle Studies," Harry said a bit too hastily. "Talk to you this evening,okay?"

After Harry left, Sirius saw Severus approach him. "Hello, Severus."

"Sirius. I guess you saw how Harry is doing this morning."

"He looks like he is about to collapse; what is going on?"

"He is fed up with everything, Sirius, but I think he is doing better than he looks; he and I had a rather heated conversation last night and he said some things to me that he wishes he hadn't. He won't forgive himself. He slept very little and when he did, he woke up because of a vision. He wouldn't talk about it. Sirius, I am scared for him; he cannot take this. I am trying to concoct this potion for him, but I just have to find the exact combination that will help him. We don't have much time. If that sick bastard does not kill Harry, I fear Harry will do it himself. He is not sleeping, and he hardly eats anything. All I can do at night is hold him. He was fine the night before last, but this morning broke me seeing him so forlorn."

"May I ask what Harry said to you that has him all upset?" Sirius asked, hopeful, but not expectant.

"He'll tell you, Sirius; he has to talk to someone about it, so try to get him to tell you, please."

Sirius could see the pleading in Severus's eyes, and nodded. "Severus, I can't believe I am asking you this, but do you think if you and Harry officially bonded, your bond would strengthen and that would help with what Harry is going through?"

"I don't know, Sirius. Since we are bonded already, the ceremony would be just that, an official showing of our commitment, but it is something I have considered since we are running out of options. I just didn't want Harry to have to do this; I wanted it to be his choice, when he was ready."

And people thought he was clueless? Sirius shook his head at how completely daft Severus was being. "Have you talked to Harry about this, Severus? He loves you, that much I know without a doubt. He wouldn't bring this up; he is the student, after all. Severus, Harry wouldn't be sacrificing anything to bond with you; I can't think of anything that would make him happier. When he and I are together, you are all he talks about, rather sickening if you ask me, but that's how it is." Sirius allowed a devilish grin to creep across his face.

"I'll talk to him," Severus said, somewhat bewildered by the words Sirius spoke; yes the two had reached a rather peaceful truce, but still…"By the way, what exactly did you say to Flitwick? He tried talking to me this morning; said he wanted to apologise for his rude behavior towards Harry and me. He kept glancing your way, so I assumed that it was you who was responsible for his sudden change in demeanor."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "I just told them that they had no right to treat Harry or you that way. I won't allow anyone to hurt my godson, or the people he loves, so that includes you."

"You obviously said quite a bit more than that. Whatever it was, thank you. I would have killed them, I'm afraid. Let Filius suffer Voldemort's wrath for a few seconds and he would be begging for mercy, and that is nothing to the endless minutes at a time that Harry has to endure the curses."

"They'll never understand, Severus what it's like to be tortured, and no amount of talking can make them understand. But I don't think we have to worry about those two anymore."

"Yes, well at least that problem seems to have been addressed. Harry has Lucius second period; how do you think he'll do?"

"He'll be fine, Severus; if he has a problem, I told him to leave and come get you or me. I also talked to Lucius since he will be favoring the Slytherins as you do, and he has assured me that he'll ignore Harry as much as possible. He did say if Harry brought undo attention to himself, he would have to either yell at him or give him detention. Severus, he'll be fine, and remember Ara, the two of you have her, so use her. Harry needs assurances right now, and we should make him feel as loved as we can."

"Since when did you become Mr Philosophical? Can it be that Sirius Black, the Marauder, has finally grown up?"

"Haha, I'm just one constant surprise, aren't I?" Sirius said, certain that Lily Potter wouldn't believe her eyes if she witnessed him and Severus talking so amicably.

"Indeed. I must get to my first period before the miscreant's tear up my room. We'll talk later."

**~*~**

Harry sat through Muggle Studies, not paying attention. All he could think about was what he'd said to Severus, and the vision he had experienced the previous night. In it, he had seen Severus being beaten by Death Eaters. After the torturing was over, Severus had looked at Harry with a pleading look in his eyes, but had said nothing. It had been so real that Harry had awakened, tears running down his face. Severus had asked him what happened, but Harry hadn't wanted to tell him. It was a vision of what was going to happen in the future: Harry had known that much. What he had to do was make sure Severus didn't leave Hogwarts for any reason.

Fortunately, Harry wasn't called on to answer any questions, and before he knew it, he was walking into Defence Against the Dark Arts with Ron, Hermione, and Neville. The four of them took their seats and waited for Professor Malfoy to enter. When he did, there was a gasp from the Gryffindor side of the room. It seemed that seeing was believing, and some of the Gryffindors hadn't believed that Draco Malfoy's father was actually going to be their teacher, but now that they saw him, there was no denying it.

"You all know who I am, and after going through your files, I know who you are. If you respect me, I will respect you. I expect nothing less than your complete attention whilst in my class, and I expect you to behave yourselves and use your manners whilst in my presence. If anyone finds these rules not to their liking, please do everyone a favour and leave my classroom now. This class is NEWT level, therefore we will be dealing with advanced studies. Just because you may have passed this subject with high marks last year does not ensure the same this year. One final word of warning before we begin today's lesson." Lucius's eyes scanned the Gryffindor side of the room. "If I hear _anyone _so much as mention my son's name, you will be kicked out of my class without a warning. Do I make myself clear?" Lucius could hear yes sirs being mumbled across the room. "Very well."

The remainder of the lesson went by with no further excitement, and halfway through, when Harry heard his familiar speaking to him, he was more than a bit happy for the disruption of his otherwise morose thoughts. Professor Malfoy was droning on about things Harry knew already, and he was bored.

"Ssso Little Prongsss, why are you ssso sssad?"

"I hurt Ssseverusss'. I can't forget the look he gave me, Sssapiensss. He looked ssso sssad and lossst. How can he ever forgive me?"

"Little Prongsss, Little Sssnake lovessss you and would do anything for you at anytime, no matter what. He knowsss what caussssessss you pain and will take away the pain. Remember that; he would do _anything for you._

Harry looked down at Sapiens with an odd look. That last statement seemed to be a warning that something was going to happen and Severus would be the one to help Harry. Harry had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, but that feeling was quickly pushed to the back of his mind as he felt a peck on his right cheek; it could only be his and Severus's familiar, Ara. Harry smiled as the owl allowed Severus's thoughts to transfer to him.

_I am sitting in my classroom with twenty inept first years; three cauldrons have been ruined, and I feel as though I am losing a never-ending battle with these young over-righteous Gryffindors. You were never this trying, although I am sad to say I treated you much worse than I would treat any student now. How can you love me, Harry? All that I have put you through, and still, you love me. I love you, too, more and more every day. I want us to be together forever, and want the world to know it. We deserve to be happy just as other couples are. Merlin, another cauldron ruined. I should tend to the hellions. All my love, Severus._

Harry smiled when he heard these thoughts, especially since he knew Severus had cut off the message at a rather interesting point. He couldn't believe that Severus was being so sweet to him; he had ripped out his heart yesterday, even as he hadn't meant to, but Severus was now acting as if everything was fine. Harry knew what he said could never be taken back, nor could it ever be forgotten, but he was beginning to understand that part of the reason he lashed out was because of the stress he had been under. Severus obviously understood that.

Harry knew exactly what to say in response.

**~*~**

Severus had just dismissed his class, who thankfully hadn't destroyed any further cauldrons. He was thinking about Harry when he felt Ara pecking his cheek. Severus closed his eyes and allowed Harry's words to wash over him.

_I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you for everything, Severus. I don't deserve you, but I thank Merlin that you think I do. I too want us to be happy forever and will do anything to see that happen. I want the world to know how wonderful you are and I want to shout out for everyone to hear that I love William Severus Snape. All my love, Harry_

_**~*~**_

Harry was confused. He felt reassured by Ara that Severus really did love him and everything was okay now, but he was still having a difficult time believing that Severus would act as if their confrontation of the previous day had not happened. He needed to talk to someone, but was embarrassed for anyone to know how he had lashed out at Severus. There was only one person who might be able to understand, and fortunately, he was just walking out of his classroom.

"Sirius, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Harry. I was just going to lunch. Walk with me and we'll talk."

"It's kind of private; do you think the Headmaster would mind if we ordered lunch and ate in our rooms?"

"Not at all. What's wrong?"

The two walked into the sitting room, and after ordering lunch, sat down "I lost my temper, Sirius, and said some extremely cruel things to Severus yesterday. I blamed him for not being able to save my parents. I have never blamed him, Sirius, not even a little bit. I don't know why I went off like that. He acts like everything is fine; he isn't upset with me at all, but Sirius, he has to be. I totally went off on him."

Sirius tried to decide how best to handle this. Severus had been right: Harry needed someone to talk to. "I know. Severus told me; he didn't say much, but he knew you would be upset and would probably come find me. Harry, he is not upset at all, believe me. For one thing, and I know this will not make you feel any better about what you said to him, but it's the truth: Severus does blame himself for his inability to save your parents. He truly thinks he could have saved them, so he thinks you have every right to be upset with him."

"But I'm not upset with him. Why did I have to say that?"

_Because you meant it._ "Everything we say has an ounce of truth to it; somewhere in the back of your mind, you did at one time blame Severus for what happened to your parents." Sirius saw the fury increasing on his godson's face. "Now just listen to what I have to say, then you can say whatever you need to." He smiled when Harry nodded, and hoped what he was about to say wouldn't fall on deaf ears. "Okay, this is going to take a while, but please listen, yyou need to hear this, Harry."

"Okay." Harry could feel his heart beating quicker. Was Sirius going to tell him about why Severus never talked about his parents? Harry had wanted so badly for Severus to open up to him about this, but he never had.

"When your parents died, Harry, it was the worst day of my life – not for what eventually happened to me, but for what would never be. You were being taken away to live with Lily's sister, someone who I knew for a fact didn't think highly of your mother, her husband, or her friends. You were raised hearing what those Muggles taught you; you had no other way of learning about your identity. Then you came to Hogwarts, and again you were inundated with new information about your true heritage. But in all that time, I don't think anyone ever sat you down and explained to you exactly what happened that night; we all worried about you finding out half-truths, yet no one made the move to tell you the whole truth."

Harry opened his mouth but shut it when Sirius shook his head. So this was about Severus; it had to be about Severus. Harry was on the edge of his seat, literally and figuratively.

"Breathe, Harry, Severus would have my hide if you passed out on me. Okay now?" When Harry nodded, Sirius continued. "Severus was the one out of all of us who fought for your right to know; he told us that nothing good could come from you not knowing. I think his main reasoning for wanting you to know is so that you could have someone to blame. Severus, as you know, has never thought that highly of himself, and after your parents died, he seemed to sink even further into himself. When you entered Hogwarts, Severus didn't know how to act around you, so he reacted in the only way he knew how: with cruelty. He never hated you. He did hate himself, however, and somehow channeled all of that self-hatred to you. He knows you don't hold him responsible; he knows it was the stress that brought all of this up. But give him some credit, love. He knows you have been hurt in your life, and that you miss not having your parents. He loves you, Harry, and if you need someone to get mad at then he is okay with that. I know this is going to sound strange coming from me, but it is the truth. Severus Snape is the most patient and understanding person I have ever come across. I don't fully understand how he can be so uncaring about himself but care so deeply about those he loves. That is why it is important that you care for him and make sure he is okay, because he is not going to do it himself. Is this making any sense?"

Harry nodded, but was a bit sad; Sirius hadn't really told him anything, at least not what he had wanted to hear. There had to be more. "I think so. Do you think he and I will be okay, Sirius?"

In Sirius's opinion, the only thing standing in the way of Harry and Severus being truly happy was Severus not being honest with Harry. It was more than time for Severus to allow Harry to know his feelings towards Lily and James, as well as what his role in their lives had been. Sirius had shared what he absolutely had to in order for Harry to begin his understanding, but there was more information that only Severus had the right to share. "Yeah, I do. Kiddo, you've been through hell, and so has that man you love. If anyone deserves happiness, it's the two of you."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

Classes were finally over for the day. Harry had made it through Charms with not so much as a glance from Flitwick, a feat for which the Gryffindor was grateful. After lunch, he'd had Arithmancy with Professor Vector; his timetable was such that he ended up having this lesson two days in a row: not a good thing as it wasn't an interesting class, but one in which Harry could get by without much study in, which was really quite nice as the only thing on his mind this day had been Severus: The person who was his soul mate was complex, which, of course, Harry had always known, but after his talk with Sirius, he was thinking there was so much more, probably more than he would ever know. Dealing with Voldemort was enough to be getting on with, but Severus had added an entirely new dimension to Harry's life – it would never be boring, that much he knew.

Lovers and soul mates they were, but there was still much about Severus that Harry didn't know, and he was beginning to realise that this was how it would more than likely always be. Severus had been through a hell Harry could only imagine; even Harry's current problems would surely pale in comparison. Fortunately, those current problems had become a bit easier to deal with because of his godfather. Harry knew how very fortunate he was to have Sirius in his life, and he'd never forget how lost and alone he'd felt when he'd thought Sirius dead.

Because of Sirius, Harry was slowly beginning to feel somewhat better; Sirius had helped him understand more about what motivated Severus, and he had strongly encouraged him to go see Severus as soon as he was finished with classes for the day.

All Harry wanted to do was sleep; his talk with Sirius, combined with his lessons, had taken a lot out of him. In previous years, this wouldn't have been a problem, but these days it didn't take much to exhaust the once vibrant and athletic Gryffindor. Regardless of how he felt, however, he needed to talk to Severus, and that couldn't wait.

As he approached their rooms – for all intents and purposes, the rooms that belonged to Severus were now theirs together – Harry tried to relax and calm himself before entering. He really had no reason to be as nervous as he currently was, yet his feelings were more confused and uncertain than they had been when he and Severus had first admitted their feelings. Harry felt like he was entering sacred ground; he wanted to turn and run, but if he loved the man who was on the other side of the door, and he did, he knew he had to keep walking until he walked back to Severus.

Entering the sitting room, Harry's eyes met with darkness, and there was a chill in the air that sent shivers up and down his thin frame. With a quick flick of his wand, Harry had the fire roaring and the room lit. Severus hadn't returned. _He's probably marking papers in his office. Maybe I'll just lie down and rest until he gets here._

Harry lit the fireplace as he walked into the bedroom, then he fell onto the bed and closed his eyes.

_"William? William?_ _Is anyone here? It's me, Harry._ _I really need to talk to you, William."_ _Harry heard running through the brush and looked up to see William running towards him, looking worried and tired._ _"Hi, William."_

_"Hi, Harry. Sorry, I heard you calling but I was busy. What do you need?"_

_"I just needed to see you; I haven't talked to you in quite a long time."_

_"You don't look so good, Harry. What is wrong?"_

_"I don't think I can talk about it."_

_"Sure you can; you can tell me anything."_

_"Not this, William; if I did, this existence could very well cease."_

_"What do you mean? Do you know something about where we are?"_

_"Yeah, I think I do, but you will just have to trust me, William. I can't say anything yet."_

_"Okay, that is fine, but something else is on your mind; what is it?"_

_"I've decided to run away, William, so I can save everyone. He is getting closer to me every day, and it is only a matter of time before he finds a way to use me to get to everyone I love. I can't allow that to happen."_

_"Harry, you cannot run away from your problems; they will find you, believe me."_

_"I don't think so, not this time."_

_"Please don't do this, Harry."_

_"Why do you care what I do, William?"_

_"I just do, and I think you know why. Why else would you be telling me this?"_

_Harry nodded; he had guessed right and did know why William cared, how could he not?"_

_"Thanks, William, I better go now."_

_"Okay, but please think about who you will hurt if you leave, Harry. Think about that before you make any hasty decisions. As I have said, your troubles will follow you. It is best to face that which we fear."_

_Harry nodded._

_Harry found himself surrounded by Death Eaters, and saw a man tied to a tree, both his wrists bound to a heavy branch. The man was screaming and writhing in pain and Harry could see the open lacerations covering the entire length of the naked pale body. Harry ran forward to help the man, but was halted by two sets of hands. Harry felt himself as he was beaten and then as he fell to the ground when the Cruciatus was thrown at him._

_"Stop it, please, make it stop, make it stop... Severus, I'm coming, please hold on. I will save you, I promise."_

_"It hurts... please make the pain go away. Stop, sto—"_

Severus had just said the password to get in when he heard screams coming from inside. Almost ripping the door off its hinges, Severus ran towards the sound and saw Harry curled up in the fetal position, screaming and rolling around. Harry's familiar, Sapiens was wrapped around Harry's neck hissing loudly. Severus removed the snake and practically threw him to the floor before he began gently shaking Harry, trying to wake him without startling him too badly.

"Harry?"

"Harry?"

Harry sat up with a start as he saw Severus sitting over him shaking his shoulders. He tried to breathe normally, but couldn't. Pulling back, he looked in the black eyes hovering over him.

"It was you. They were torturing you, and they almost killed you. I tried saving you, but then they started torturing me. Merlin, it hurt. I kept yelling for you to hold on; it was so real, Sev. Promise me, promise me you won't leave here for any reason. Please promise me."

Severus brought Harry closer to him and began rubbing circles on his back. He wouldn't make a promise he couldn't keep. He would never make another promise such as the one he had made to Harry's parents.

"I'll be fine, Harry, don't worry about me. Concentrate on you." Severus found the potions he needed and poured them down Harry's throat. Harry eventually calmed down further and was able to relax into Severus's embrace.

Harry knew Severus didn't promise what he'd asked for, but he understood why, or so he thought. All he could do was trust that Severus wouldn't place himself in harm's way. "Thanks, Severus, I'm okay now."

"I would hardly call this okay, Harry. I had just entered the sitting room when I heard you beginning to scream. It would seem the Dark Lord has changed his tactics somewhat if he is showing you me being tortured. He is baiting you, no doubt."

"Yeah, the thing is, what if it is a true vision of what is going to happen?"

"I can't see how it could be, Harry. But don't worry, I'll watch my step, that I can promise you."

"Okay. Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you may ask me a question – that it is an unnecessary question and you know it."

Harry stuck out his tongue. "Do you ever dream about me?"

"Well, yes. Quite frequently, actually. Usually one does dream about the person they love."

Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes. "No, I mean like... do you ever dream that we are talking in a far away place, like we are both searching for something?"

Severus pondered what Harry had said, and ever so slowly his eyes widened in realization. _How could I not have known? _

"You're James in the dream, aren't you? How did you—?"

Harry was a bit perplexed about the _James _bit, but he knew he and Severus were talking about the same dream. "I don't know, it just came to me as I slept. I was there and when I saw him, and he started talking to me and giving me advice, it hit me. You are William, or at least he is part of you, but how? Wouldn't you have to be asleep for both of us to be in a dream together?"

"Indeed. I was marking papers and guess I was more tired than I thought because I was awakened by a student's knock on my door shortly before I returned here. And, yes, I did dream about you, or James, as that is the name he gave me."

"This is weird, Sev."

"I would have to concur with you there, but it is probably not as strange as we are making it out to be. You see, I have had those dreams since I was a young boy, although you, of course, only recently entered them. I have gone to that place as far back as I can remember. But lately, I have not been going often."

"So, do you think it is a safe haven for us to deal with our problems?"

"More like a safe haven for us _not _to deal with our problems, Harry. With you and me being soul mates, this could be an extension of that, or it could be completely separate. We'll probably never know."

"I guess. If it is a safe haven, then we were both running away from our problems today."

"It would appear as such."

"I don't want to run anymore, Sev." Harry was serious about this, but in his mind he was talking about much more than just running away from his problems, he was tired of dealing with everything and just wanted everything to stop. Unfortunately, Severus couldn't read his mind to know his thoughts, well, if he really tried he could, but he wasn't trying at the moment.

"I am glad to hear you say that, Harry, and I am happy to know you do listen."

"Oh I listen, Severus, I do."

Severus nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Can we talk about yesterday?" If Severus said no, Harry wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he was nearly at the breaking point. It was like he was on a roller-coaster: one moment he was at a low valley, then he was on the peak, and then he was in between. His up and down moods were too much for him to deal with.

There was something going on with Harry and Severus needed to find out what it was. Yes, Harry, I think we should; there are some things I need to tell you. Sirius told me the two of you talked earlier?"

"Uh huh. He did help, but I'm still confused."

"That is my fault, Harry. Since we have been together, I have been terrified of the consequences of telling you what you deserved to know all along, so I have avoided it. But, I'm ready to tell you now if you'll hear me out. It's a long story, but if you'll bear with me until I tell you everything, then I will answer any questions you might have."

Harry nodded and braced himself. He knew whatever he was about to hear would probably again change his life, he hoped not for the worse. Part of him was upset that he and Severus were so close, yet there would probably always be things Severus wouldn't share with him.

Looking into Harry's eyes, Severus began. "The only time in my life I made a promise that meant anything to me, I failed. I failed your parents." Harry moved to put his hand on Severus face, but Severus shook his head and motioned Harry to sit beside him. "I need you to listen to what I have to say, all of it, please." Severus was looking at a picture he had removed from the drawer on his side of the bed. "There are things I should have told you, but I couldn't. It hurt too much to think, much less talk about, so if I have misled you regarding certain events, please accept my apology, Harry; I never meant to hurt you." After saying this, Severus looked at Harry and received a reassuring squeeze.

"When I left Hogwarts, being a part of your parents' lives was the last thing on my mind; they were happy and in love and I was going through my own personal hell. When I eventually began spying for Albus, however, your parents became a part of my life, much to my consternation.

"I envied your father for so many reasons. Even as he had treated me badly in school, I clamored to be accepted as he was, but when I was forced together with him and your mother, it nearly killed me. I was so full of hatred for myself.

"Your parents were targeted by _You Know Who_ long before you were even thought of. As a result of this, I was eventually placed with your parents when they were married, two years after we left Hogwarts. Yes, I lived with them. It was part of the grand scheme – the fail-proof plan, one which both Dumbledore and I meticulously mapped out. It was quite brilliant, we thought.

"I convinced _You Know Who_ that I was a faithful Death-Eater who was playing spy for Dumbledore and had been placed with the Potters for my own protection. I also convinced him that Dumbledore was not convinced of my supposed change of heart, and he wanted the Potter's to keep an eye on me to make sure I was indeed working against, and not for _You Know Who_.

"As a result of this, I had no idea where your parents' house was. Whenever I needed to be there, I activated a charm your mother had performed on me, allowing me to Apparate there or to lead me in the right direction. It could only be activated by me, thus my cover remained intact. I could honestly tell the Dark Lord that there was no way he could activate it. Living with your parents placed me in the perfect position to give him information, and that I did, albeit, fabricated lies with just enough truth to maintain my credibility as a member of the inner-circle of the bastard's lair.

"The funny thing about being surrounded with love, Harry, is that you eventually cannot help but allow it to embrace and consume you. I remained closed-off and guarded, but in those few years, I learned what it was to be accepted. Your father never did warm to me fully, although he did come to respect me in the end. We had several enlightening conversations over the two years I lived with them. Your mother, who had been someone I respected immensely at school, embraced me from the beginning; she never asked anything of me, nor did she question my intentions. I had the distinct impression your mother saw me as her special project. I knew she was wasting her time, but as I felt my body and soul healing as I bathed in her kindness and attention, I never deterred her.

"During this time, I was able to somehow thwart several plans to kidnap your parents. It was always a risky and intricate dance we had to perform. The information had to come from someone else, as I obviously could not be the informant, so we always had to choreograph every incident with pinpoint precision. It was a tenuous undertaking, but one I relished. If I could succeed in protecting your parents, then just maybe my life had meaning. To that end, I did everything to ensure their safety.

"By the time you were born, we were feeling quite confident, but the feeling of exuberance soon ebbed as You _Know Who_ changed strategies – no longer was he after your parents – he wanted you. This, of course, presented us with new challenges, but ones that seemed no more complicated than the previous ones.

"Unfortunately, for your parents, this is where my past came back to haunt me and, in the process, take their lives. It had been decided to place the three of you under the Fidelius Charm, and as your father's best friend, James chose Sirius to be their secret keeper, or so they had everyone believe.

"Because of my hatred towards Sirius, I missed the conversations that would have alerted me that something was going on with Peter. Peter owled your parents on several occasions, and I always had a bad feeling about him, but it never made sense. Had I not been so consumed with hatred towards Sirius, I would have realised Pettigrew was up to no good. I have always prided myself with being observant of my surroundings and reacting to them. This time, however, I failed. I failed.

"You know what happened next: Pettigrew betrayed your parents and went to the Dark Lord. Then your parents were killed and you were left an orphan. I'm truly sorry for not telling you this sooner, Harry. I just wasn't ready for you to hate me."

Harry sat there as still as a statue; he wasn't even sure if he was breathing. He didn't know what to think; this was a lot of information to digest. What he did know, however, was that Severus hadn't told him anything that would lead him to believe that Severus was responsible for his parents' deaths. In fact, Harry now knew just how emphatically Severus had fought to keep them alive, and, for that, he was immensely proud and grateful. Severus may not have thought he had any self-worth then, but Harry felt quite differently about the man who had sacrificed so much to help his parents.

He took the picture from Severus and smiled; it was a picture of the four of them: Harry's parents, Severus, and him. The three adults looked happy, and he looked as content as any baby should, being with his parents. "Thank you, Severus." Severus furrowed his brows, which garnered him a similar response from Harry. "Severus, did you really think I would blame you for my parents' deaths? Okay, so maybe you did not pay as much attention to Peter as you could have. But to say that is what caused their deaths is presumptuous of you, and is something I will not allow you to continue believing."

"What if I were to tell you that I overheard Peter talking to Lucius Malfoy the day of your parents' murders? What if I told you Peter was bragging about what he was going to do? Yes, Harry, that is exactly what happened. Peter sounded so sure of himself, and arrogant, just as he always had been. But I thought it was a ruse to throw the Death Eaters off. It did not even occur to me that I would have known about such a plan, which I most certainly would have. Instead, I just smirked, thinking our plans were only becoming more secure. No one would have ever considered anything Peter said seriously; he had always been a wannabe, so maybe we should have paid more attention. But I didn't, and your parents died as a result of that."

Harry was speechless and motionless; this was what he had dreaded; this is what he had hoped to never hear. Harry wanted to believe everything had been done to protect his parents, and that there was no way the outcome could have been any different. But now he was hearing that it could have been prevented, from Severus, no less. Harry was unsure of what to do. He couldn't blame Severus; what if's were just that. What if Severus had believed what Peter had said, and what if Severus had stopped the plans of _He Who Must Not Be Named_? What if his parents had been saved that night? What if—

No, Harry wouldn't go there; it was a no-win situation. "Thanks for telling me, Sev." Harry swallowed. It was going to be okay. He didn't blame Severus. He could never blame Severus.

"Now you can see why I blame myself so much, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "I think I can understand why, yeah, but none of us can say what would have happened. I think my parents were supposed to die that night, Severus. If not that way, then some other way. What right do you, I, or anyone else have to second guess the events that night? I do wish you had caught on that Peter wasn't lying to Lucius; I wish a lot of things, Sev. I would love nothing more than to have my parents here with me today, helping me plan my life with my future husband, but they aren't, Severus, and we can't change that. If you need to forgive yourself, then please, Sev, do it now. We've got to move on with our lives. My parents are with me; you are the one who made me understand that. I will always be sad they died, but I'm not the only one who has suffered from loss; hell, Severus, you had to watch as your entire family was murdered in front of you."

"You're right, Harry, we don't have any right to second guess what happened that night, but it is human-nature. They loved me, Harry; you're parents loved me. I had never felt that kind of warmth in my life. When they died, a part of me died, and I did not care anymore."

"Why did you go to Lucius that night? Did it have anything to do with my parents?"

"What happened to your parents had nothing to do with me going to Lucius," said a bitter sounding Severus.

Harry nodded. "We have already talked about that and I really don't wish to bring it up again, but why would you go to him if he had been talking to Peter earlier in the day? I know you thought Peter was trying to throw Lucius off, but knowing Lucius was a part of that whole thing, how could you go to him?"

Lucius… the man would forever be a thorn in Severus's side. Severus ran his hands through his hair, and sighed. "I should first tell you that Lucius was not involved in your parents' deaths in any way. He was working on another project and had no clue as to what was going to happen to your parents. When I arrived at Lucius's house that night, nothing had happened with your parents. As far as I knew, everything was fine. It was not until later that night that we heard about what had happened.

"During that particular time, _You Know Who_ trusted me – I had no doubt about that fact, but he was constantly testing his followers' loyalties, and I was no different. For some inexplicable reason, he had it in his mind that Lucius and I were meant to be together, thus he manipulated our time so that we would spend time in each other's presence. That is why I ended up at Lucius's that night. Lucius had no idea of our being forced together. I only knew because I had overheard some other Death Eaters talking. So, when Lucius came on to me later that evening, it was of his own doing, which I am grateful for. I had been used by that bastard enough as it was. At least Lucius and I were real, even if it was for the wrong reasons. And you know the rest of that story."

"Yeah," and Harry didn't want to hear it again. "Is there anything else you need to tell me about that night?"

"No. I think I said everything I needed to."

Not exactly the answer Harry had wished for, but it would have to do. Even knowing there would always be things Harry would never know, a million stone evaporated and Harry felt lighter than he had in quite some time. Yes, it had been difficult hearing most of what Severus had said, but what in Harry's life hadn't been difficult? "Will you forgive yourself, please?" Harry forced himself into Severus's lap and straddled him. "You have to, Sev."

Severus took Harry's face in his hands and looked into the younger wizard's eyes. "I'll try, Harry, that is all I can do."

Harry brought Severus near him and cradled him to his chest. "Let it go, Sev. You've got to let it go."

Severus lifted his head and met Harry's eyes again. "I have buried my emotional scars from that period so deeply that I do not even know if they can be accessed. It is as if I have a block on emotions from that period in my life. Even as I think about that time in my life every day, I do so emotionless. The pain was too much for me to handle. I don't know if I am capable of moving past this, Harry."

"Tell me how to help you then. I 'll do whatever it takes to help you get over this. Anything."

"Forgive me."

Harry closed his eyes as he felt a tear escape. Severus needed this, and Harry was beginning to realise he needed it just as much.

"I forgive you, Severus, and I accept your apology. I know you would have done things differently had you known. I know from what you have told me that you loved my parents just as they loved you. I forgive you." Harry felt Severus's thumb wipe a tear from his face, and opened his eyes. "I forgive you, Severus."

"Thank you, Harry."

Harry leaned towards Severus and kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Harry." Severus cleared his throat and sat up straight. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel good, Severus, really I do. I'm glad we talked."

Severus nodded and frowned as he glanced at the floor.

Harry's gaze followed. "What is Sapiens doing down there?"

"I put him down there," Severus answered, studying Sapiens, worriedly.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

Severus took a deep breath and continued. "I'm not sure, but I have reason to believe that somehow your familiar has been tampered with. I think there is every reason to believe Sapiens has been part of the problem: making you ill and weak, or at least not allowing you to heal properly."

"What? That can't be, Sev. I was already ill before I got him. What gave you that idea?"

"You know how I am, Harry: I am paranoid about everything, and trust no one. I have been watching Sapiens from the moment Lucius gave him to you. Although I have never had any true indications that he is affecting you, my instincts, which are usually correct, say he is. It is my belief that somehow _You Know Who_ placed a charm on Sapiens that would block you from healing."

"Wait a minute, Sev. How? I mean, this is ridiculous. How could he have had access to Sapiens? He couldn't have."

"Oh but your wrong. If the charm was performed while Draco still had him, it would have been rather easy."

"Sev, you are not just pulling these things out of your head, are you? You know something."

Severus nodded. "Remember I told you how Lucius was under _Imperius_? He brought Sapiens to _You Know Who_. Lucius wasn't told why, but I think the Dark Lord knew if Draco died, Lucius would give the snake to you. If you want my opinion, I think You Know Who suggested it to Lucius, and that suggestion remained with him. It would have been quite easy to accomplish. I must say that I feel like a complete imbecile for not realising Sapiens might have been bad for you."

"But how could _You Know Who_ be sure—"

"I don't know, Harry. All of this is pure conjecture right now, but I know I am on to something. That snake has been impeding your recovery."

"Severus, I trust you, and know you well enough to realise you know what you are doing. This is way over my head. I don't know how you came up with any of this, and really, I don't think I want to know. Is there any way to find out for sure if Sapiens has been tampered with?"

"Oh yes: it is almost the same potion that I used on Lucius to reveal what magic had been performed on him. With a few variations, it will be able to do the same with Sapiens. I will complete everything this evening."

This was a lot to take in. How could Sapiens be bad? Harry had come to depend on him. Had that been part of a sinister plan as well? "I want to be there to see you test him, but I told Lucius we could meet tonight. I can postpone it, though."

"No, I think you and Lucius need to talk. I must tell you, Lucius is the one who gave me the idea that maybe Sapiens wasn't all that we thought. He is as suspicious of others as me, and he began sensing something was not as it should be. We'll find out this evening, either way."

**~*~**

"How are your classes coming along, Neville?"

"So far, so good, sir."

"Very good. You do know if you need help with any of your revision, you may ask me for help. That is what I am here for."

"Yes, sir. Professor Malfoy?"

"Yes, Neville?"

"How can it be that this year I am being included with Harry, Hermione, and Ron? I understand about Harry, and his friends, Ron and Hermione, but no one has ever bothered me before. I'm just curious why the sudden interest?"

"Well, a major reason is your parents, as you well know, but I think there is a much more sinister reason why the Dark Lord is interested in you, and it has to do with Professor Snape and myself. You deserve the truth, Neville, and I will tell you, but only if you are truly prepared."

"Yes, sir. I want to know." Truth was, Neville needed to know as much as he could. He felt so alone, and it felt good that he was finally being included. It would figure that it was for a bad reason.

"Neville, it is my thought that somehow the Dark Lord is aware that you witnessed what happened the night your parents were attacked. Until now the official story has been that Professor Snape and myself tortured your parents and sent them to St. Mungo's. We were both severely reprimanded of course for not killing them. But, as your parents were damaged permanently, we were allowed our transgression. However, in the process, the two others who accompanied the two of us on that mission were eventually given the Dementor's kiss for their part in the crime. The plan was to hide behind the other two. Professor Snape and myself were too valuable to lose as Death-Eaters, so _You-Know-Who's_ successor turned in the other two. Of course, they had actually committed the crimes against your parents, but only Professor Snape and I, knew that. It was a great loss, losing two allies, but in his mind, it was the lesser of two evils. He sacrificed two of his loyal servants for a semi-loyal and a spy. You can imagine what You Know Who would think if he ever found out. I think he has, Neville, but he wants you to confirm what he has heard. Not that he needs any confirmation – the Dark Lord never asks before killing or pillaging, but in this case, I think he is seeking a sweet revenge, with you as the catalyst."

"I would never tell him what I witnessed, Professor."

"I know you wouldn't tell him anything intentionally, Neville, but he has his ways, and would get it out of you one way or another. If the truth ever came out, this would go far beyond only You-Know-Who's wrath, however. This would go directly to the Ministry, I have no doubt. Even as we did not harm your parents, the fact that we were there and allowed the others access to them is enough to get Professor Snape and myself sent away for life, and most likely a meeting with the Dementor's kiss. Neither of us are particularly concerned with either. We have both done horrific deeds and would take our punishment if need be, but unfortunately there are two others who would also be hurt, you and Mr Potter. I cannot go into Mr Potter's information with you, but in regards to you, understand that _You Know Who_ would frown upon the fact that two of his men were sacrificed. If he was able to get his hands on you, I cannot even begin to imagine the horrors he would inflict upon you, Neville. I have been through all of them, and it makes my blood boil thinking of you in his hands."

Neville was visibly trembling. He had sensed there was something being kept from him, but this was way beyond what he had imagined it to be about. He wanted to run out and hide, but he couldn't. He was no longer that scared little boy who was afraid of his shadow: He was someone who stood up for what he believed in now, and this was no different. He had been placed under Lucius Malfoy's protection, and now he understood just how badly he needed it. "Thank you for telling me everything, Professor."

"You're welcome, Neville. I'm sorry to weigh you down with all of this at once; I know it is a lot to absorb." Why was it that innocent children had had to carry such enormous weights? Lucius would fight to his death to prevent any other children from ending up damaged as Harry, Neville, Severus, Sirius, Draco, and he had been. "If I may give you a piece of advice, I would beg of you not to repress any memories that you might have of that night, Neville. It is best if you release them. Harboring this anger inside will leave you bitter." And oh yes, Lucius was speaking from experience.

Neville allowed a grin to escape. "Erm, sorry, I just had an image of Professor Snape in class, and I think I understand what you're saying."

Lucius chuckled and it lightened his dark mood substantially. "Indeed. You do not want to end up like him." Since Harry had come into his former best friend's life, Severus had changed immensely, but the students would never see that side of their Potions professor. There was a good chance that Neville would eventually find out about what was going on between Severus and Harry because of the close proximity he would share with the other two, but for now, he was not to know.

Lucius looked at the clock and realised it was time for supper, and soon after, Harry would be sitting where Neville now was: it was a meeting Lucius both anticipated yet dreaded.

After dismissing Neville, Lucius quickly straightened his office with his wand, then left for the Great Hall. Whatever this night would bring, Lucius knew he would wake up a different person in the morning.

**~*~**

The Great Hall was filled with the happy chatter of students as Severus entered. He immediately took his seat, but almost immediately, he thought he heard someone saying his name, and as he turned to his right, he saw Lucius Malfoy looking at him. Severus mouthed the words _after we eat, _and Lucius, understanding, returned to his meal. Severus was perplexed, but as he needed to talk with the man, this would be his opportunity. Severus felt that Lucius needed to give Harry his reasoning for the suspicions about Sapiens.

After eating, Severus glanced at the Gryffindor table, and was happy to see Harry eating and appearing happy. _Just maybe Harry can heal properly now and be allowed some happiness. _Severus fervently hoped so. It had been a trying time for both of them. Harry was being subjected to cruel punishment through no fault of his own, and even as he was going through this, he was having to learn new information about Severus's relationship with his parents. The timing couldn't have been worse, but Severus knew it was better that Harry knew everything now. There were no more secrets regarding that night. There would always be secrets that Severus would have – ones that he would never ever give voice to, but at least now Harry knew about the most important ones, the ones that had concerned his parents.

One problem seemingly solved, now Sapiens presented another – problematic situations never did cease for Harry, did they? If Sapien's signature revealed that he had been placed under a charm, Severus would feel much better, knowing that another of Harry's many problems could be attended to. Harry had become attached to the familiar, and Severus, himself was quite fond of the small snake as well: the two had quite the history. Severus was not at all looking foward to possibly having to end this creature's life, but he would if he had to; he'd do whatever he had to do in order to make Harry well.

Severus knew that if anything had been done to the snake, his true character remained. The snake had helped Harry, Severus had no doubt about that. That is why it was so important Severus find out what had been done. He was beginning to think this was an elaborate plan of his former master; the Dark Lord had been after Harry for sixteen years, and there was no limit to what he would do to get him. Severus had denied to himself, and to Harry, how important the young wizard was to the dark side, but Severus knew deep down that Harry was the answer to everything that ailed the dark side. If Harry could be turned, then there was no limit to what could be accomplished. Severus silently shivered at the thought. _He'll never get his hands on Harry... NEVER!_


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

Neville was overwhelmed; he had never mattered in anyone's eyes as far back as he could remember. His parents had been all he had and then one day they were gone, two shells of their former selves. Now, he found out that he did matter: he mattered to Voldemort. _How appropriate that; the one person who does give a flip about me wants me for what I can supply him with, and even then, he will kill me._

His talk with Professor Malfoy had given the young Gryffindor much to think about, the main thing being: why was it that he even thought about talking with Lucius Malfoy and allowing him to mentor him? The former Death Eater had played a role in his parents' torture, so how could it be that he didn't hate him? Well, to be honest, he didn't have any feeling at all towards the man, and that bothered Neville because he was certain his apathy wasn't at all normal.

Not only did Neville not have any feelings, good or bad, towards his professor, the young wizard had no feelings at all, for anyone. He couldn't remember how long he had felt this way, but he supposed it had begun with his grandmother. She acted sweet and nice for the outside world, but to Neville, she was anything but. The elder witch had never gotten over her son's torture and for some reason took it out on the boy. Neville had closed himself off but was able to put on a good show for his friends and teachers at Hogwarts.

Now, having met with his mentor, Neville was beginning to feel differently, but exactly why that was, alluded him. Perhaps it was because for the first time, someone had actually treated him as a human-being worthy of respect.

Professor Malfoy was going through his own personal grief after losing Draco, and Neville appreciated him taking the time to explain what had been asked. Neville hadn't expected as much; he assumed his professor would wave him off just as everyone else seemed to do.

The information he'd been given had of course upset him, but he felt oddly reassured; in his mind, he had gone from insignificant bother to significant bother, and all because of Voldemort. It seemed as though attention, whether good or bad, sometimes appeared better than not receiving any at all. Nevertheless, he was smart enough to realise that this attention had the potential to be lethal. As long as he was under the protection of Professor Malfoy he would remain safe, he was certain of that one thing.

**~*~**

Harry slowed his pace as he neared Lucius Malfoy's office. Was he really going to do this? There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea, but for the Order, he would do this. This was something he had to do, and as much as he dreaded it, he looked forward to having it behind him. His feelings were jumbled: he wanted to hate Lucius and yell at him for what he had done, but there was another part of Harry that wanted to simply have his say then leave. He reached Professor Malfoy's office and took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Come in, Mr Potter."

Harry pushed open the door, stepped inside the office, and marveled at his surroundings. Compared to previous years, the Defence Against the Dark Arts office appeared organized and inviting. The office was decorated in warm colours of mixed burgandy and dark blue, not the green and silver Harry had envisioned, and there was a sofa and chairs which made having meetings more comfortable than having to face your professor across from his desk.

There were weapons mounted on the walls, plaques underneath each describing when and where they had been used, and by whom. They were all Muggle devices, which perplexed Harry. Directly across from where he currently stood there sat a medium sized cannon.

Lucius noticed Harry eyeing the contraption and motioned him to approach it. "That cannon was used in the Second World War, Harry."

Harry was mesmerized by what he saw; even being raised by Muggles, he had never seen a cannon, but then again, he hadn't seen much of anything because of his relatives hiding him away from the world as much as they could.

"You are probably wondering why I have Muggle weapons in my office?" Harry nodded. "I am here to teach you and your classmates how to defend yourselves against the dark arts, which is magical in nature. But, as our world takes up but a small segment of this planet we share with the Muggles, I wanted a constant reminder of what most people are faced with in battle. Some would say we in the wizarding world have an advantage over Muggles because our weapons are small wands that have power from a wizard propelling them to exact a certain spell or curse that will result in injury or death. It is quick, easy, and inexpensive they say, and the end-results are easily accomplished because of the magic used. Others would argue that Muggles have the advantage because their weapons do not require much of their personal power. They simply aim and shoot – quite impersonal. And in many cases, especially now with all of their technology, Muggles can be far away from their intended target, lessening the personal involvement, while we have to be in close proximity to our victims in order for our weapons to be used correctly."

Harry was mesmerized by what he was hearing, not only because it was interesting, but there was such passion in Lucius Malfoy's voice. Harry had never given much thought about weapons, and really, he didn't think of his wand as a weapon, but then again, he knew anything could be used as a weapon.

"…side is correct, Harry. War of any kind is extremely personal and always ends up exacting a toll on a person's personal power. The origin of the power may be different. The result, however, is the same. We don't fight wars to kill individuals, we fight wars to kill certain ways of life, but I have yet to hear of a war where no one has been killed. War is a way of life for us all, and it is good to never forget what we are facing."

Harry didn't know what to say after his professor's speech; It was almost as if the man were giving him a lecture and would now ask him questions. Harry certainly hoped that wouldn't be the case. While it had been interesting, some of it had been rather daunting and had gone over Harry's head. Why had Lucius Malfoy told him this?

This was not at all what Harry had expected. This was not the person Harry saw Lucius Malfoy to be: someone as introspective as this. Harry knew he had been morose recently and was still mourning his son, but that was different: losing a child was a horrific experience. Of course, the older man would be subdued and serious. But this… this went against everything Harry knew about the man.

Lucius seemed to realise he was being stared at. He shook his head as if shaking off his thoughts and sat down, motioning Harry to do the same in the chair across from him. "Despite what you and everyone may think, my world has not always revolved around the dark arts, Mr Potter. I think it only prudent to show what we may one day be faced with from the Muggles. This," Lucius motioned his hand around his office, "will also serve to reinforce the fact that we are superior to Muggles. I have nothing against them, as you all think, but I do believe us to be highly superior to them."

Harry somehow felt oddly and disturbingly comforted, even as he strongly disagreed with his professor's assessment. _Now this is the Lucius Malfoy I know. _

Harry had nothing in reply to his professor's last comment, therefore he remained silent.

After several minutes elapsed, Lucius cleared his throat and spoke rather forcefully. "I don't believe you asked to meet with me so we could have a staring match, Mr Potter. Please have your say so I can have mine, and then we can be done with this."

Harry grinned, but quickly schooled it when Lucius looked at him oddly._ Definitely the Malfoy I know. _Harry cleared his throat as he continued to wring his hands together. He was nervous but knew what he had to say. "When you see me, like right now, what do you see, Professor Malfoy?"

Lucius knew this was a loaded question and his answer would be important. "Now?" Harry nodded. "At this moment, I see a young man who appears to have the weight of the world upon his shoulders. Then? I think I saw a young spoiled boy who looked too much like the boy whom I fell in love with. Nothing of what I see now, Harry, reminds me of your father. I do not know how to explain it, but the connection is not there any longer, it vanished sometime after… well, it disappeared weeks ago."

"If you loved my father as much as you profess, how could you even think of doing such a thing to his son?" Harry was willing himself to keep his voice down. He would not shout, as that would get them nowhere (Severus's advice, of course).

"I was consumed with hate. Even as my opinion of _You Know Who_ began to change, my hurt over losing your father continued to eat away at me. I think it must have originated with my lack of ability to hold on to your father. I knew that if I was a better person, and if I were not the son of Death-Eater parents, your father would have been allowed to love me without preamble. As it was, when your father broke up with me for good, I was about to do the same with him. There was no way I was going to endanger your father's life by bringing him into my family's world, one in which he would be hated and in constant danger. I loved him too much to put him through that. If I had done that as planned, then this situation with you more than likely would not have happened, I would have just internalized everything. As it was, when your father made the first move to end our relationship, I reacted badly. I regret my actions more than you can imagine. I am sorry, Harry, for everything."

Harry could see the sincerity in his professor's eyes, and knew he was telling the truth. Even knowing the other man was in essence saying Harry's father could have potentially prevented this, Harry knew he had probably gotten as much remorse out of Lucius as he was going to. Much of the anger he held against the man began slowly ebbing away. It would never be gone completely, but Harry now knew he could get past this. Maybe he was forgiving too quickly, but he didn't know what else to do. Should he harbor a hatred for this man, just for the sake of it? He didn't hate this man, nor did he want to expend any more negative energy on him. Lucius was the one who would live with his indiscretions, and he was the one who had to get over his bitterness. Harry wanted no part of either.

"What you did to me, _Lucius _(Harry knew it was so very wrong to use his teacher's name, but in this situation, he needed the man to know how very personal this was)_,_ hurt me a lot." You already know why, so I won't repeat what has already been said previously. After being subjected to my uncle and cousin's repeated assaults, I didn't want to think about sex: it was dirty and was used only for power. Yes, that is what I truly thought, Lucius. Then you had to go and prove my point. Everything Severus had done to help me was undone by you and your stupid idea that raping me would be proper repayment for something that was between you and my dad."

If Lucius had felt uneasy when Harry first walked in his office, now he felt horrible. He knew he had undone all of the good and positive thoughts that Severus had slowly given to Harry. Until now, Lucius really hadn't considered just how deeply his actions had affected Harry, and along those lines, he hadn't realised how much Severus had meant to the boy at that time.

"There are no words, Harry, no words at all to say. All I can do is apologise." Lucius knew Harry could not give him a verbal acceptance of his apology, but he was not expecting one. If it came later, then that would be fine, but he never expected it would come, and that was fine with him. He didn't deserve forgiveness for this transgression.

**~*~**

"Professor Black, may I have a word with you?"

"Sure, Hermione. I was just going to my office. What is on your mind? Nothing's wrong, I hope."

"Oh, no, nothing like that; I'm just concerned about Harry. No one knows where he is; he just disappeared after Arithmancy and no one has seen him since."

"Hermione, I assure you that Harry is fine; he's with Professor Snape having one of their mentor sessions." Severus had told Sirius about Hermione knowing that he and Harry were friends but she didn't seem to suspect anything further. Sirius wondered how long that would last. As both her and Ron's mentor, one of Sirius's assignments was to help steer the two clear of Harry and Severus. The two needed their space, and Albus was going to give them as much as they needed.

There was a loud knock on the door and through the wards, Sirius saw that it was Ron. "Come in, Ron." The out-of-breath Gryffindor barreled in the room wide-eyed.

"Sit down before you fall over. What happened?"

"I saw Harry running from Professor Malfoy's office; he looked quite upset. I followed him to Snape's workroom. He was really distraught, Professor Black."

_Damn, Lucius. _Sirius had no idea what the two sitting before him knew regarding Harry's confrontation over the summer with Lucius, but he was certainly not prepared to tell them anything. "You said he went to Sn…Professor Snape's workroom?"

Ron nodded.

"Then Harry is in capable hands, Ron… no matter that it is your most hated teacher he is with. While we are talking about Professor Snape, he is no longer your teacher, so I think it quite childish of you to continue holding such animosity towards him."

Hermione smirked. If she had a pound for every time those very words had come out of her mouth aimed at the wizard beside her, she would be a multi-millionaire.

"Just because I don't sit in his class every day, Si—Professor, doesn't mean he likes me all of a sudden; our feelings towards each other are quite mutual, thank you very much. He sneers at me at least three times a day, so why would I want to even attempt to be nice to that—" Ron stopped when Sirius cleared his throat and when Hermione let out a gasp.

"Watch it, Mr Weasley… remember who you are talking to... I'm not above taking away points from my own house."

Ron knew he had gone too far; this was his best friend's godfather, but now he was their professor as well, and as such, demanded respect. "Er… sorry, Professor Black."

"No matter how casual our relationship might have been in the past because of my being Harry's godfather, Ron, I am your professor now, so please respect that, especially around other students." Both Ron and Hermione nodded their heads. "While we are discussing respect, Ron, it makes little difference to me what you think of certain professors, but it would do you well to respect all of them. Being that your best friend is under the mentoring of Professor Snape, I will advise you here and now to lay off with the nasty comments about Snape. Harry has had a rough time of it as of late and needs our help. Professor Snape is giving it to him. Whether or not he is doing it for selfish or selfless reasons, that is none of our concern. What should concern us is that he is helping Harry. I have already seen an improvement in Harry and will not allow anyone, including you, Ron, to stand in the way of Harry's progress." Sirius hadn't wanted to be rough with the boy, but was getting tired of the young Gryffindor's childish antics.

"Yes, sir." Ron hadn't all enjoyed that dressing down, but it had been deserved and he had the idea that he'd get an earful more of the same from Hermione when they left.

Sitting back in his chair, Sirius surveyed the two before him. He knew they were concerned about Harry, and as much as he wanted to tell the two to not worry, he knew that wasn't going to work. "I am sure Harry is fine, but I will go check on him myself and will send him up to the common room to see the two of you later this evening." Both students stood and thanked Sirius before leaving.

Sirius decided to visit Lucius before going to see Harry.

**~*~**

As soon as Harry left for Lucius's office, Severus had gone to his workroom with Sapiens. The potion was almost ready. There was one ingredient left to add: the skin from the last molting Sapiens had experienced. After adding the skin, Severus stirred the mixture clockwise three times and counter-clockwise six times over a low flame before removing the cauldron and allowing it to cool for the thirty minutes the directions called for.

He looked at Harry's familiar and silently sighed. _Another victim of the Dark Lord._

Severus hadn't felt it prudent or wise to give Harry the likely outcome of these tests. They had to know if Sapiens had been impeding Harry, regardless of the outcome regarding the snake's life. It was not a sure thing the snake would not survive, but it was a high probability. Severus had many fond memories of Sapiens (Salazar to him) coiling around his arm or neck as he went about his daily activities as a child. The snake had been his only light in an otherwise bleak existence.

When Severus saw that the potion was ready, he gathered Sapiens and administered the potion, then waited. Two minutes passed and Severus waved his wand over the still form of the snake, and words appeared above the familiar's head:

_Sanitas Sepelio_

_Curatio Subsisto_

_Munimentum Conscindo_

As each new curse appeared, Severus's brows furrowed deeper. Not only had Sapiens been tampered with, it was a wonder the snake had lived. The amount of energy needed to invade the snake's body with the curses must have been immense when compared to the size of the snake. Whoever had done this had known exactly what they were doing.

They had made sure whoever was in possession of the snake would soon come into trouble.

The curses were meant to destroy the mind, cease the effects of medical attention and healing, and to tear down the defenses of said person. Severus had his answer, or at least one of them. Harry's problems had begun before Sapiens, so not everything would be remedied by this discovery, but much would.

Severus heard footsteps nearing and knew it was more than likely Harry. Opening the door with his wand, he motioned Harry to join him. Rather than stalling for more time, Severus gave Harry the news immediately regarding what he had found out. He also showed Harry his familiar and said he wasn't sure if he was going to survive or not. To his great relief, Harry seemed to take it well, but Severus knew it was affecting him, whether he showed it or not.

"So what do we do now? Do you have to do anything with me? Or will it be enough to stay away from Sapiens? And if he lives, will you be able to remove the spells from him?" Harry asked, only minimally worried that the snake had made him ill; he was more concerned about Sapien's life.

"If the notes I have been reviewing are correct, you should be fine within twenty-four hours of being separated from the origin of the curses. I will of course have to do some further studies, but I tend to agree that you should begin improving very soon." Severus finally allowed a smile to escape and could not resist pulling Harry into his arms. I doubt all of your ills will be healed because of this, but I have a feeling that this will be the beginning of your true healing." Severus could not know this, of course, but he did know that psychologically, if Harry thought he was getting better, it would help him physically.

Harry allowed himself to be embraced. It felt so good being encircled in these loving arms, knowing that he would get better, knowing that maybe he could begin living normally again, not having to worry if he was going to collapse of exhaustion the next minute.

"Sev, even if Sapiens lives, I won't be able to keep him, will I?"

"No. Even if I were able to remove the spells that were placed on him, there is the chance that there would be lingering strands left behind. I wouldn't allow you to take that risk, Harry."

"Will you try to remove the spells?"

"If he wakes up from this, then I'll see what I can do, but you must understand, once non-humans have been subjected to spells such as these, they will never be normal again. It might be more humane if he just did not awaken. I am sorry, Harry, but it's the truth. The potion I had to give him will likely kill him."

"Then I hope he doesn't wake up. He doesn't deserve to suffer," was all Harry could say.

"I told Lucius I would contact him with the results, so I should do that now," Severus said as he stared at the motionless snake. "How was your meeting with him, Harry?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders, not sure how it had gone. "It was okay. You were right, I do feel like a huge weight has been released; talking to him helped, I just thought I would feel a lot better."

"You will, Harry, it will take time, though. Lucius reopened some serious wounds when he hurt you, and it will take time. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you."

"Thanks, Sev. I should be okay around Lucius now, but I have a feeling that being around strangers is going to freak me out. I am so clingy now and hate it."

Yes, this Severus understood all too well. "I can honestly say I have been in your shoes, and yes it is scary, but as I said, you'll not have to go through this alone, ever."

Harry snuggled further into Severus's embrace before stepping back. "I love you, Severus."

"And I you." Severus and Harry walked arm in arm to the hearth where they contacted Lucius, who seconds later stepped through to join them in the workroom.

Lucius's blank face remained as such but he couldn't help but grin inwardly at the sight that greeted him, Severus and Harry arm in arm. They were in love if Lucius had ever seen two people in love, and he had. He was truly happy for the two: they both deserved happiness and true love.

Severus explained to Lucius what had been found regarding Sapiens, and Harry watched as Draco's father lowered his head dejectedly.

"So that is how they broke through my son's wards. His defenses were destroyed and that allowed the wards to be lowered. _You Know Who _must have been very careful however because Draco was never sick or anything such as that."

"Lucius, _he_ wanted your son dead, and did what he had to in order to ensure that nothing would be suspected before that could happen. _He _also wants Harry dead, but, well, Harry is Harry and is rather difficult to kill, fortunately. He also wanted Harry to suffer, though – we both know how much pleasure he gets from watching others suffer. He knew that weakening Harry would be the best way to get to him. I would say that he seemed to have us all rather well pegged: he knew what our moves would be. He is much smarter than we give him credit for. Fortunately, we have cottoned on to his plan."

Lucius didn't feel much like talking after hearing what Severus had to tell him. It was he after all who had taken the snake to the Dark Lord in the first place. Even if he had been under the effects of the Imperius curse at the time, he still felt responsible.

Excusing himself, Lucius left for his rooms, not sure what to think about the past few days' revelations. He needed to sleep; his mind was racing. There was Harry, then there was Sirius, and always… there would always be Severus.

It sickened him to know he and Severus had been manipulated into spending time together, time that eventually led the two of them to become lovers; lovers who just happened to be half-brothers. Lucius was furious. There were many taboo subjects for him, and he regarded incest as the absolute worst.

**~*~**

After Lucius left, Severus and Harry began cleaning the workroom, putting the phials back where they belonged and clearing the cauldron of its contents. Sapiens had not awakened, but neither wizard expected he would. He was in a box, and Severus had placed a charm around the snake to inform either him or Harry if there was any movement.

It had been another exhausting day for both, but for the first time in almost two weeks, both felt that a sense of peace had settled around them. After walking back to their rooms, Harry poured two cups of tea, then joined Severus on the sofa.

"Thanks, Severus, for everything."

Harry grinned and, as always, it made him look years younger than his already young age. Fortunately, Severus no longer felt like a predator taking advantage of a young boy. Rather, he felt immense gratitude towards whatever force in the universe had felt him deserving of such an extraordinary gift. He smiled, and he knew that this time, his smile reached his eyes. He didn't do this often, but he was genuinely happy.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Harry asked, wondering what was wrong.

"You are beautiful, Harry."

Harry was uncomfortable hearing Severus talk like that and didn't know how to respond, so he remained silent.

"What? The famous Harry Potter speechless? Well, wonders never cease…"

Harry smirked at Severus and threw a pillow in his face. "Ha ha very funny. What am I supposed to say? Yes, I agree, Sev, I am beautiful? That's not going to happen."

"But you are, Harry. It is easy to forget you are only seventeen, but when I look at your face, it is all there for me to see, and I am still amazed that you want to be with me: Severus Snape, former Death Eater, who—"

"You had better stop that line of thought right now, Severus." Harry leaned in and kissed Severus, and it didn't take long for the kiss to become more, and as they tried to make themselves more comfortable on the sofa, Harry found himself on top of Severus kissing the pale neck beneath him. He removed Severus's robes with his wand, then the shirt, button by button. He could feel Severus pressing his body closer into his, trying to increase the friction, but Harry ignored the silent pleas, and once the shirt was removed, he continued his amorous explorations of his lover's chest and lower region. When he finally made his way down to Severus's trousers, he undid them, and with a flick of his wand they were gone, leaving Severus in his silk black boxers.

Harry grinned wickedly at Severus before he placed two fingers on the insides of the boxers and lowered them ever so slowly. Harry kissed Severus's newly exposed skin as the boxers made their way down to his ankles, and then with one quick pull they were yanked off completely. Harry gazed at the naked form before him and felt energy flowing through him; he felt stronger than he had felt in weeks. He would not be denied the frenetic pace he needed their lovemaking to be tonight, that he knew.

Harry inched his way up so he was again directly on top of Severus and met Severus in a kiss that begged for more. Harry ground his hips into Severus and began panting. Then the movement below him stopped and Harry looked up. "Anything wrong?"

"Yes, Mr Potter: your clothes are in the way. Would you be so kind as to let me remove them for you?" Harry kissed Severus on the forehead and then nodded. Within seconds, Harry found himself naked and aroused, and unable to move… and on the bottom.

"Not fair, Sev. I wasn't finished with you."

"That can wait, love, this cannot." Severus attacked Harry with a ferocity that brought Harry closer with each thrust.

Feeling his lover's skin on his and feeling their erections sliding against each other was all it took, and Harry was gone, followed soon after by Severus. That feeling of total oneness they had missed so much was again filling both of them, and their bodies shook with intensity as they orgasmed together.

Severus gathered Harry in his arms and turned over, resting the younger man's head on his chest. Severus was about to drift off when Harry sat up.

"Shite."

"What is it, Harry?" Severus asked, thinking he had hurt Harry.

"I was supposed to meet Ron and Hermione this afternoon. Hermione isn't going to be happy with me. I better go see them; I'll be back here in a few hours."

Severus groaned but sat up as Harry slowly dressed. He had been anticipating a lovely evening of lovemaking, but, well, they could resume in a few hours' time. Not much consolation to Severus's libido, but since when did one's libido take precedence over anything else? "Very well. You know you are going to be the death of me. Don't say anything about your familiar, Harry, understood?"

Yes, f—I wasn't planning on it, Severus," Harry amended, not missing the brief look of disquiet on Severus's face.

"When we know more information regarding how you are progressing, I think it would be wise to inform both Miss Granger and Mr Weasley. They have been worried about you and will be pleased to hear you will be improving."

"Yeah, they will. Thank you for thinking about them; they're my best friends, Severus, and that isn't ever going to change." That was meant exactly as it had been said. Harry loved Severus and would do almost anything for him, but he needed both Ron and Hermione in his life.

"I know, Harry."

~*~

_Sanitas Sepelio — Latin words meaning to destroy the mind_

_Curatio Subsisto — Latin words meaning to cease medical and healing attention_

_Munimentum Conscindo — Latin words meaning to tear down ones defenses _


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

Less than a week after Sapien's death, Harry was sitting with his two best friends at supper in the Great Hall, laughing, eating, and having a good time: He would never regain all of his former strength, and, of course, the snake hadn't been the cause of all of Harry's ills, but the transformation was nothing short of a miracle in Severus's eyes. It was amazing to witness how resilient the young body could be, and Severus knew that this was as much a balm to his soul as it was to Harry's health. The only thing that could make this day any better was if Harry could look at him, smile, and not have to worry about the wrath that would surely follow, but Severus knew there was a time and place for everything, and this was not the time for the two of them to be careless. They still had a Dark Lord to kill.

Severus's gaze never left Harry during supper; the Slytherin Head of House was very good at his stealth activities; spying had its advantages. As well as Harry seemed, Severus knew that the nights were not nearly as good as the days, and that Harry still suffered ghastly nightmares. At any time, Severus fully expected Harry to fall over and have another episode. Sirius and Hagrid did their best to convince Severus that the worst was over, but just as he had no idea of what would happen next, neither did they. Nevertheless, Severus very much appreciated their attempts to cheer him up. Not many people had attempted such a thing over the years and Severus knew how fortunate he was. Yes, it was all because of Harry, but that was more than fine with him.

To his right, Severus could see that Sirius was speaking in hushed tones to Albus, probably about the Dueling Club, which was meeting at seven for the first meeting of the term. Quite the opposite how he had felt about the Dueling Club of five years previous, Severus was actually looking forward to this attempt at reviving the once hallowed pastime of Hogwarts students. Severus, as a first and second year, had spent many a night hidden away in a cupboard behind where the High Table usually sat, stealthily watching as the older students defended themselves against others.

A commotion from the Ravenclaw table brought Severus out of his musings and he was unsurprised to see that it was one of the sixth years who was speaking loudly. Such behaviour was most unflattering, and not at all befitting a Ravenclaw, Severus thought as his gaze then returned to Harry again before drifting over to the Slytherin table, where his students looked tired. Severus understood.

It had been a long day: His sixth and seventh year NEWT Classes had explored the forest looking for plants that contained certain ingredients needed for an upcoming potion they would be making, and while his seventh years had known what to expect, his sixth years had been quite troublesome. Severus had lost his temper several times, although, to be fair, his students hadn't been able to tell the difference; he was always losing his temper as far as his studnets could tell.

Harry and Hermione were the only two of his seventh years to find everything on their list. Harry seemed to know exactly where to go for what he needed; he even delved deeper into the forest then he should have. But as he had gotten what was needed, and because Severus was secretly quite pleased with Harry's knowledge, he had said nothing. He would be finding out later how Harry seemed to know so much about where to look for things. Severus was quite certain that only he and Hagrid had explored the entire forest, but Harry had gone quite deep into the thick brush, and Severus was curious just how far, and why.

**~*~**

Harry, Ron, and Hermione finished eating and then returned to their rooms to change into comfortable clothing for the Dueling Club. After they were all changed, they headed down to the Great Hall, which had been transformed into a dueling stage. The five tables were no longer situated in their previous positions, and there was a lengthy raised platform running the entire length of the spacious room. There were no other students present yet, so Harry and Hermione stepped up onto the platform and looked around. Ron remained on the floor watching them.

"I say we have a little go before everyone else arrives," Harry said, looking at his right hand, where his wand should be. Severus had given him an old one of his to use, but it didn't work that well. Harry needed to get a new one, but he and Severus, along with the Headmaster, had decided that it was time to make his ability to do wandless magic public knowledge, at least as far as the students were concerned.

"We really should wait, Harry. We could get in trouble."

"Oh come on, Hermione, no one is here yet; it's not like we didn't do this in the DA."

"Okay, but if Professor Snape walks in..." Hermione shook her head before nodding. The two of them bowed towards each other then turned around and began walking the appropriate distance before turning around and facing each other again. Just as Harry opened his mouth, Hermione gasped.

"Hello, Professor Snape."

"Miss Granger. Mr Potter. Do go on. I will count to three and then I want to see what the two of you can do when it comes to dueling." Severus had a sneer plastered on his face, and his voice was full of malice, but both Harry and Hermione knew it was for show.

They both responded at the same time, "Yes, sir."

"One, two, three..."

"Stupify."

"Amitto Vox."

Hermione and Harry's words were spoken at the same time; soon after, Harry was looking like a statue, and Hermione was unable to speak. Severus raised his eyebrows as he walked up to each of them and reversed the spells.

"Mr Potter. I do not recall that particular spell being taught yet. I have underestimated your ability to learn... I guess." Harry only grinned. "But you do realise that your chosen hex would not stop someone as powerful as the Dark Lord. For all we know, he may be able to perform magic without speaking. Being able to perform Wandless magic, as you can and are doing, Mr Potter, will be advantageous to you, but do not ever underestimate the powers of your opponent; you could very well be the inferior of the two. As much as having you put in your place would please me, we do need you in one piece." Harry smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Miss Granger, I dare say if you had been dueling against anyone else, you would have won that duel; your reflexes are just what will be needed against those that would oppose us. Howeever, your choice was also not a good match against a strong wizard; it could be thrown off easily. The two of you should take your seats beside the platform before everyone else enters."

Harry and Hermione joined Ron, and as if a whistle had been blown, the double doors opened and students began pouring in and filling up the spaces along the raised platform. Professors' Black and Malfoy were the last two to arrive. There were fifty students: not as many as Severus thought would come, but that was fine with him. The fewer students they had, the more time the three of them could spend with Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Neville.

Severus walked up on the platform and, as soon as the students were all quiet, he began. "Many of you sixth and seventh years probably attended the dueling club we had five years ago. Let me assure each of you that this will be nothing like what Professor Lockhart led you to believe a dueling club was. The Headmaster decided we should reinstate this so that you can all be made aware what is expected when dueling, and, this is another extra curricular activity, just as Quidditch is. Professor Dumbledore thinks this good way to unite all students no matter what houses they are in."

Severus stepped down with his death-glare firmly in place, and Sirius stepped onto the platform. "Since most of you seventh years were members of the DA during your fifth and sixth years, you are no doubt quite advanced in dueling already. All of you who were in the DA may be seated, as we already know your capabilities. This evening, we will not be dueling. What we need the remainder of you to do is try to disarm one of us. You will be divided into three groups and each of you in turn will have to disarm Professor Snape, Professor Malfoy, or me, whichever is in your group.

Severus wondered how many students would know the disarming charm: _Expelliarmus,_ and how to execute it properly. This first lesson of the dueling club had been planned before classes began, therefore each Defence Against the Dark Arts class had been taught the disarming charm.

There were thirty students, so each professor had ten assigned to them. One by one, they each had to try and get their professor's wand away from them. To the professors' great surprise, most of the students successfully disarmed them of their wands. Of course, there were those who were unable to do it correctly, but overall, the first meeting of the dueling club was a success.

After the Great Hall had cleared out of most of the students, Severus walked up to Lucius. "Do you have anywhere you need to be? I think we need to talk."

"I am going to my rooms now; join me for a drink."

Severus nodded. He had watched Harry leave with Ron and Hermione, and he knew this was a good opportunity for him to visit with Lucius.

Entering his sitting room, Lucius removed his cloak before pouring two glasses of gin. He handed one to Severus and then both men sat in the two chairs situated on either side of the fireplace. "How may I help you, Severus?"

"You have been more distant than usual. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"No need to worry about me, Severus; I am resilient after all, aren't I?"

"Not as much as you would have everyone believe, Lucius. I think we both know what is bothering you, or at least what one of the things bothering you is." Lucius raised a brow and nodded for Severus to continue. "Remember, Lucius, I am your former best friend. I know your moods better than anyone else. You're having trouble getting past the fact that you and I had an intimate relationship when all along we were half-brothers, am I even close to the truth?"

Lucius nodded, sadly. "Damn it, Severus: He had no right to mess with us like that. As if my life is not messed up enough."

"I could say the same thing, but Lucius, we did not know, and had no way of knowing. Yes, it is sickening and perverted that our own biological _father,_ and I use that term in the loosest possible way, as he will never be my father, would arrange it so you and me would become intimate. I don't pretend to understand what motivates that sick bastard, but I do know that you and I cannot give him any more power than he already has. Even us being his heirs, he wanted to gain control of us from the beginning. When you and I were together, he had won in his mind; he had accomplished his goal of joining his two sons together, making it easier for him to dictate our futures. Thankfully, we didn't last, or else the consequences could have been quite dire. We entered a relationship for all the wrong reasons, and I wish it never happened, but it did and there is not a bloody thing we can do to change it."

Lucius looked up at Severus and managed a weak smile. "Sodding prat. At least you have someone in your life now that truly loves you for you. You and Harry seem very happy together."

"We are very happy, Lucius."

"It is hard to believe you are the same person, Severus; Harry has done wonders for you. I have never heard you so confident and sure of yourself."

"As you said, Lucius, Harry has done wonders for me. I do not deserve him, but I thank Merlin every day for him. If he had not come into my life, I probably would not be standing here right now. Not so long ago I wanted to die, and I am not being melodramatic when I say that. I seriously could not face waking up every morning: looking in the mirror and knowing what all I had done. The world would be better off without me. You had Narcissa and Draco, and I had no one. Who would care if I lived or died? Absolutely no one, Lucius. Until Harry came into my life, I had no one. Thank Merlin all of that has changed."

"You know, Severus, I tried like hell to get you out of my mind and life, but I am so glad that we somehow have remained friends. There is no one other than you who can relate to me, and knowing that I can talk to you is somehow reassuring. I mean, you didn't have to enquire how I was doing this evening. I am sure you have other things you would rather be doing, and I know you will never forgive me for my past indiscretions."

"No, that I will never do, Lucius, and if it is all the same to you, I would rather you never mention that again in my presence. I will tolerate you and try to move forward, but you need to be aware that my thoughts about what you did are such that I could kill you at any given second. I refrain from doing so because of outside forces. Harry is my life now, Lucius. He is my everything, but I will always have time for my friends, and yes I do count you among the few I have. You have disappointed me, but I guess when it comes down to it, we have to look out for one another because no one else will. Life is filled with contradictions, and perhaps that is what we are: Voldemort's contradictions." Severus let out a small laugh but there was nothing at all funny about it. He was sitting across from someone he should have the right to kill for what he had done to Harry, yet he was carrying on a civil conversation, one which he was enjoying. What would Harry think?

**~*~**

Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting by the fire in the common room chatting when Pig flew up to Ron and began flapping his wings as if trying to attract attention.

"Calm down, Pig, what is so important?" It was rare that students received owl mail anytime other than breakfast. Ron looked at the envelope then glanced at his two friends nervously. Both Hermione and Harry nodded, so Ron tore open the letter, read it, and his face turned deathly pale.

"What is it, Ron?" Ron shakily handed the letter to Harry, who along with Hermione, read it silently.

_Mr Weasley -  
_  
_Do you really think extra dueling lessons will help against me? Think again, foolish Gryffindor. I will get you, then Miss Granger, and finally, Mr Longbottom, and anyone else whose loss may cause your friend great sadness. Then Mr Potter will have no choice but to come get all of you. I will have him, boy. Don't bother watching your step. I know your every move and will have you in my grasp before you can do anything to stop me. Just so your friends don't feel left out, they too will be receiving similar letters before I take them. Oh, and do not try to play the hero and take this to that fool Dumbledore. He'll be the first to go if that happens. Am I serious? Do you want to take that chance? I look forward to seeing you, Mr Weasley._

Hermione almost screamed and had to clasp her mouth with her hands. "Harry, we have to tell someone." Ron hadn't moved, and his face continued getting paler.

"Yeah... er Ron can you talk?" Harry asked as he felt all of his blood turning cold. No. This couldn't happen, not now when he thought he was finally getting better.

"Y... yeah." Ron was obviously quite shaken up.

"Hermione, can you take Ron to the hospital wing? Tell Madam Pomfrey he has a headache and needs a pain reliever and a calming potion. I'm sure she'll find out the truth later, but for now it's a headache." Hermione nodded to Harry. "I'll meet you back in here later tonight."

"You're going to show this to Professor Snape, aren't you?" Hermione asked Harry as she put a hand on Ron's shoulder.

"Yeah, I have to show it to someone, but we can't risk telling Dumbledore in case _you know who_ was telling the truth. Snape'll know what to do, I hope."

Hermione halfway dragged a listless Ron towards the hospital wing as Harry made his way to the dungeons. He couldn't believe his luck. It hadn't been a week since he'd begun feeling like his old self again, and here was another threat lurking around the corner. He read the letter again.

_He wants me... He wants me... He wants me...  
_  
**~*~**_  
_  
Severus had finished his nightly reading and was resting his eyes when he felt a kiss against his lips. He grinned and never opened his eyes as he reached out and pulled the face that was so near his, closer, then deepened the kiss. As a body made its presence known on top of Severus's, he sighed contentedly. Then he opened his eyes and almost instantaneously, he felt his trousers tighten.

"I thought you were going to be busy with your friends this evening." Harry looked hurt and sat up quickly. Severus pulled him back towards him and held him close. "I didn't say I wanted you to be with your friends, Harry. I am quite pleased to see that you are here with me."

Harry smiled. "I just missed you, Sev. I know we spend every night with each other, but I miss you. Ron and Hermione are my friends and we have great fun, but they can never take the place of you. I wish I could stay with you forever." Harry snuggled deeper into Severus's chest.

Severus sat up and brought Harry with him, facing the younger wizard so that the two could look into each other's eyes. "What's going on, Harry? You know that we will be spending forever together. Why do you sound so maudlin all of a sudden?"

"Don't know, Sev. I just don't have a good feeling. And I want to be with you all the time. I know it is wrong of me to be so clingy, but I can't help it. Will you make love to me, please?"

Harry was behaving strangely. For the last six days, Harry had been happy, and the two of them had resumed their previous activities as Harry was no longer weak and tired all the time. The two of them definitely had no problems when it came to the bedroom. For Harry to come and ask him to make love, that was definitely odd. Severus wanted to know exactly why Harry was acting so evasive, but he could see the distress on his younger lover's face and could not turn him down, he never would.

"Do you even need to ask?" Severus stood up with Harry and carried him into the bedroom. Gently laying him on the bed, Severus removed Harry's clothes as well as his own. Harry moaned as Severus's weight settled on him, and he closed his eyes. "Harry, open your eyes."

Harry did as asked and smiled as he was met with a soft kiss, a kiss that turned into several light feathery touches that began on his mouth but quickly trailed down his neck and chest. Harry ran his hands through Severus's hair and began massaging the pale shoulders that were moving above him.

Then Severus sat up and told Harry to turn over. He then summoned some oils from his bedside table and began rubbing Harry down before beginning a deep massage over Harry's entire body. He began with the thin shoulders, worked over the small arms, threaded his hands through the talented hands, kneaded the limber back, squeezed the perky buttocks, kissed the hairy legs, then he finished by working each of Harry's feet.

Harry was a bucket of mush. He was feeling so relaxed and happy. Being with Severus, no matter what they were doing, always made him happy.

After the massage was finished, Severus turned Harry over and kissed him for a few seconds, then caressed Harry's face. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Severus." The two continued to kiss and grind their bodies together until Harry was almost shaking with need. "Sev, please."

Severus took some of the oil that was still coating Harry's body and slowly entered him with a finger, then quickly increased it to three. As soon as Harry was prepared, Severus once again met Harry in a deep kiss. Then Severus gently entered Harry, and soon the two found their rhythm and a true peace. It didn't take long for either to find their release, and soon both were resting side by side, sated and feeling once again that all was right with the world.

But Harry knew that wasn't the case at all.

When he heard the steady breathing of Severus, he quietly exited the bed and dressed himself. Looking down upon his sleeping lover, Harry allowed a tear to escape. This would be the last time Harry would see Severus, he was sure of it, and leaving him was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done, but it was the only way to ensure his friends safety. Sitting down at the desk, Harry took a quill and some parchment, and began writing.

After folding the parchment and placing it in an envelope with Severus's name on it, Harry walked quietly to Severus and gently kissed him on the forehead as he placed the letter on the other pillow before leaving the rooms he had called home for the past two months.

He had no time to return to his room to retrieve anything. If he was going to do this, he had to do it now, or he would lose his nerve. There was only one way to protect his friends. If Voldemort thought Harry was dead or gone from Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione would be safe.

It was the only way.

**~*~**

"Hermione, it's been almost four hours since Harry left. Where could he have gone?"

Hermione knew exactly where Harry had gone, but the fact that he hadn't returned was beginning to worry her. Harry knew how important that letter was, and he wouldn't leave his friends in the dark about what would be done regarding it. "Will you be okay if I leave for a few minutes?" Hermione asked, not sure if Ron was really okay or not. He still looked rather pale.

"Yeah, I'm okay, the calming potion helped."

"Okay. I'll be back as soon as I find out what is going on." Hermione practically ran to the dungeons not caring that it was after curfew. Something was wrong, and the Gryffindor witch had a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She had no idea where Professor Snape's personal rooms were but she was determined to find them because either Harry was with him, or he was the last one who had seen him, she was sure of it.

**~*~**

Ron eventually went upstairs. He wanted to wait for Hermione, but he was exhausted. He also knew she would come let him know what was going on. As he entered the seventh year dormitory, he glanced towards Harry's bed, and frowned. Although he fervently hoped he was wrong, he had a bad feeling; something wasn't right. Ron went over to the window and looked out. The moon was almost full: it bathed the grounds in pale moonlight. Ron saw movement below and pressed his face against the windowpane to have a closer look. _What the hell? Why would Snape be outside now? Usually he is lurking the halls looking for students to harass. _

Ron didn't have any good feelings towards his former Potions teacher and could never foresee a reason that he would. He despised the man who had tormented him and his friends. But looking at Snape, Ron had the feeling something wasn't right with the man. This was beginning to get creepy. Harry hadn't returned, and now Snape was looking oddly out of place.

His vantage point from the window did not allow Ron as much access to Snape as he wanted, so he decided to sneak outside to get a closer look. He, Harry, and Hermione had sneaked outside more times than Ron could remember. _If I could only find Harry's Invisibility Cloak. _He had never gone through Harry's things, but this was important; he had to find it. He opened Harry's trunk and fortunately saw the Invisibility Cloak on top. He quickly removed it and covered himself before exiting the dormitory.

Luckily for him, another student returned to Gryffindor Tower after curfew, giving Ron the perfect opportunity to leave the common room unobserved. Meeting the occasional ghost – thank goodness not Peeves – and barely missing Miss Norris, he eventually made his way to the giant oak doors. Opening them ever so slowly, he found himself standing in the cool September night.

He quickly descended the steps and made his way to the area he had seen Snape standing earlier. The man was in the exact same spot, but now Ron had an unimpeded view of Snape. Ron could see that he had tear streaks coursing down his face, and he could tell that Snape's eyes probably would be releasing more tears soon.

_Huh? Snape crying? What the hell?_

Ron was mesmerized by what he saw. He wondered what could have made his former professor so sad. Ron surely was not even a step away from hating this man, but the Gryffindor was not heartless, and he didn't enjoy seeing anyone as upset as Snape surely was. He knew something bad must have happened, and Snape didn't have any friends that Ron knew of for him to go to for comfort. It wasn't long before Ron was feeling sorry for Snape.

Just as he was turning to return to the castle, Snape pulled out a piece of parchment and stared at it before he began speaking in a low voice that Ron had to move closer to hear.

"Oh Merlin, please let Harry be alright. Why did he have to leave? He should have told me about the letter." Then Ron saw his professor totally lose control of his emotions as he fell to the ground and cried. All Ron could hear was Harry's name repeated over and over again.

Having heard and seen far more than he had the right to see, Ron silently backed up until he was at the entranceway and made his way inside the castle. His mind was racing; what had he just witnessed? Hermione had tried telling him that Harry and Snape were probably friends, but what Ron had just witnessed was not someone crying over a friend – Snape was heartbroken. That was someone who was crying for someone they loved… someone who happened to be _Harry_. Ron knew the feeling; he knew because it was the same feelings he had experienced when Hermione's parents had died and Hermione had been attacked. Ron had never been so scared in his life. He had been so scared his friend was going to die. He had been so scared that he would never get the chance to tell her how much he truly loved her. Of course, Hermione had recovered and, of course, Ron had since discovered he and Hermione were truly meant to be only friends, but watching his professor reminded him of his feelings and how deep they had gone. Ron had no doubt that Snape would be needing help, and soon.

There were so many questions, but one thing Ron knew was that he wouldn't tell anyone what he had witnessed. It was the least he could do. _No wonder Harry would never tell me. I hated the git and never let an opportunity pass to tell anyone who would listen how much I hated him for what he had done over the years. Does Harry feel the same way about Snape? I can't imagine it, but Snape looked so heartbroken, like he had lost everything. Harry and Snape had to have been together; there is no other explanation._

Surprisingly, Ron was okay with this revelation. When he thought about it, Harry and Snape had quite a lot in common and if they found happiness with each other, then Ron was fine with that. But he knew it was against the rules for teachers and students to become involved with one another. That was what perplexed him. Snape wasn't the type to break any rule. He was the strictest person Ron had ever come across and his regard for rules was second to none. And Harry: Why would he be involved with Snape? It seemed the more Ron thought, the more questions he came up with.

**~*~**

"Cracker Jacks."

"Come in, Severus."

A pale Severus entered and immediately took his normal seat. "Harry's gone." The Headmaster's eyes widened as Severus handed him the parchment with the letter Harry had written to him, as well as the letter Ron had received. He read it aloud:

_Severus -_

_I'm sorry, but I have to do this. He will hurt Ron, Hermione, Neville, and probably you as well, trying to get to me. I can't allow that to happen. Please forgive me, Severus. I never wanted to hurt you, but I know I will by doing this. You once told me everyone you ever loved left you. Merlin, I hate doing this, but I have no choice. It will be better in the end, you'll see. I would have only brought you sorrow and pain. Whatever happens, Severus, I love you._

_Love always, Harry_

Albus closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Oh Harry, child, what have you done?"

"He's gone and got himself killed, Albus, that is what he has done. He may not be dead yet, but how long do you think it will take for them to find him? Damn that boy. How could he do this to me? To us?"

"Severus, do not do this. We don't know where Harry went or what his plans are. He may still be a student, but he is far wiser than we think, my boy. I sure do wish he would have consulted us first so we could have talked him out of this insane idea of his, but he knew what our reaction would be so he bypassed us."

"Yes, Albus, and all because of his friends and me. He left so we would be left alone. I have lost count of how many times he has lamented at the unfairness of his friends being targeted when it is he the Dark Lord is after. Each time I did my best to get through that thick skull of his that it is not up to him to save us all, but obviously I failed."

"Do you have any ideas where he could have gone?"

Severus shook his head as he began pacing. "I hardly think he would have told me that, Albus. You know he must have been planning this from the beginning. He made me fall in love with him, then he just up and left. Yes, I see how much he really loved me. It was all an act."

"Severus, bite your tongue. You know you speak untruths. Harry did love you; it was evident to everyone on the staff. That young man would do anything for you, Severus. ANYTHING!"

"Including getting himself killed to protect me, Miss Granger, Mr Weasley, and Mr Longbottom. Yes, Albus, Harry would do anything for me, I know that all too well. I just wish he knew I am not worth it; I never was."

"Severus, I do not have the time to sit here and listen to you feeling sorry for yourself, son. We have a job to do, and I do not intend on sleeping until we find Harry. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Of course I'm going to find Harry, and when I do, I plan on wringing his sorry little neck for putting me through this. Impudent Gryffindor."

Albus walked over to Severus and placed an arm around the younger wizard. "We'll find him, Severus."

**~*~**

Hermione had been sitting by Professor Snape's office and was about to leave to return to Gryffindor Tower when she saw said professor coming towards her.

"Professor Snape, have you seen Harry?"

Severus pulled out the parchment that Ron had received and threw it down at Hermione's feet. "It seems he has left, Miss Granger. I am guessing it has something to do with this letter. He and his damnable Gryffindor honour, Insufferable brat."

"Where could he have gone, Professor? He told Ron and me he was going to see you about the letter. Did he? And why did you let him leave? You had to know what he was thinking, so why?"

"Miss Granger, I knew nothing about the letter until he had already gone."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "But that does not make any sense, Professor; he went to see you because of the letter."

"Miss Granger, I do not know what Mr Potter's motivations for coming to me were, but whatever they were, he most certainly did not show me the letter. If he had, do you think me so horrid and uncaring that I would not have known his feelings? Miss Granger, I am aware of the boy's feelings regarding this and know he would do anything to save his friends. So, if he had told me, then he would be here right now. Now if you will be so kind as to get back to where you are supposed to be, my only concern I have at the moment is getting Mr Potter back, alive. To that end, I do not have time to waste talking with you or Mr Weasley."

"So why aren't you out looking for him now, Professor?"

"I was on my way to do just that when I was unnecessarily detained, Miss Granger. Now if you do not mind, I would very much like to get on with it; your foolish friend has again managed to get himself into trouble. I really am beginning to think he rather enjoys it when one of us has to pull his sorry arse out of a near-death situation. You may leave now, Miss Granger. I assure you when your martyr of a friend is found, you will be notified."

Hermione was stunned. She knew how biting her professor's words could be, but hearing him using such language in front of her, shocked the young witch. She knew her professor must really be upset and probably furious with Harry for doing this. She herself was not happy that Harry had felt the need to take such drastic measures. She turned and left after giving Professor Snape one final look.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. _Where are you Harry? _He had been hateful to Hermione, but he couldn't help it; he had no clue as to where Harry could be. The Dark Lord hadn't been giving any clues as to his position, so that wasn't any help in this instance. The thing that irritated Severus the most was the fact that Harry had known how dangerous it was to leave Hogwarts: He knew what risks he was taking and had promised not to do so. But he had. Now if Harry was found alive, could Severus trust that it was really Harry and not someone else dictating his moves? Probably not.

**~*~**

"Hermione, what is wrong?"

Hermione showed Ron the letter that Pig had brought him not even four hours earlier. "Harry is gone, Ron."

"What do you mean, he is gone?"

"He left the castle. Professor Snape was the one who gave me this letter and told me it was Harry's way of protecting us. He was really upset, Ron."

"Why isn't Snape out looking for Harry then if he is so upset?"

"He was on his way to do that when I stopped him."

"He has to find him, he just has to. What about Dumbledore? Does he know?"

"I am sure he does. He is probably out looking as well. Look, we should get some sleep. We may be needed to help search in the morning and neither of us will be worth much in our current state."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

"Well, well, well…what have we here? Could it be?" Voldemort laughed deeply as he bent down and roughly grabbed Harry, who had been lying half on his side, his head on what looked to be the remains of a stone pillar, up off the ground. "So, we meet again, Mr Potter. My plan worked just as I had imagined it would. You are so very easy to predict: you and your willingness to be the martyr makes this far too elementary." Voldemort threw Harry back to the ground and motioned his two Death Eaters to approach him. "Tie him up and bring him to me after you are finished."

As he departed, Voldemort's laughter increased in intensity as if he were mocking everyone; he most certainly was. Crabbe grabbed Harry and roughly tied his hands together behind his back before dragging him by his hair, causing him to scream. He tried not doing so, but one could only take so much pain, and hadn't he already been through enough?

"Shut Up, Potter. You think this is bad? You have no idea what we have in store for you. You won't live to see the morning."

Harry could hear a group of Death Eaters guffawing at him. He knew this was serious and knew what they said to be the truth.

He had been careful; it had never been his intention to get caught, but he had known it was a possibility, but it had been a risk he had been willing to take in order to keep his friends and Severus safe. He had put a glamour on himself and Apparated to Hogsmeade from the forbidden forest, then he had Apparated to where the Dursleys had lived. He had planned it all out: he would send Severus a suicide note and some of his clothing with blood on it, making everyone believe he was dead, or at least the Death Eaters. Severus was not stupid and would not believe Harry dead without a body, but he would make sure that certain people were told Harry was dead.

None of that mattered any longer. Harry was hours, possibly minutes away from certain death, and there would be no final note sent to Severus. He closed his eyes as he felt himself being beaten and whipped as his captors took turns, laughing evilly as they gleefully tore at his skin.

**~*~**

Sirius, Severus, and Lucius had spread out, combing the forest for signs of Harry. Severus knew the likelihood of finding him so near the castle was not good, but they had to try. Albus had been out searching with them, but they had convinced the older man to get some rest. The Headmaster was not getting any younger, and the students who were still at Hogwarts needed him just as much as Harry did.

Harry could be anywhere; the castle had even been searched, but to no avail. No one had any ideas about what should be done first. Severus berated himself continually for not questioning Harry further the previous evening when Harry had been so maudlin. Severus was on the precipice of falling apart; it was taking every ounce of energy he possessed to force his emotions back. It was not helping that Sirius and Lucius kept looking at him.

"Stop it you two, right now. If you are going to continue looking at me that way, you can leave. I don't need your pity; I need your help."

"Severus, there has to be something else we can do. My godson is out there somewhere, in danger, and we have to find him."

"**I am so glad you understand how dire the situation is, Sirius, because obviously I did not**," Severus spat out.

Sirius had to hold his tongue. He knew Severus was under a lot of stress and couldn't be held accountable for his harsh words. "You said he was acting strange last night, Severus. Why in Merlin's name did you let him go?"

"I. Didn't. Let. Him. Go. anywhere, Black. I had no idea that anything was amiss. Harry was acting strangely, but I decided to ask him about it later. When I woke up he was gone and I found his letter."

"So he came to you for one last shag, did he?" Sirius asked, unrepentantly.

It would be so easy to lift his wand and end the Mutt's suffering. Severus glared. "Sirius, is this vital to us finding Harry? I think not, so bugger off. If you are going to help search for Harry, that is fine, but no more questions. I am sick to death of having questions thrown at me that have nothing to do with finding Harry."

Fair enough. "I had no right to ask that, Severus, I'm sorry; I'm just so mad at Harry, but I'm scared to death for him as well. I don't think he realises the danger he has got himself into."

"Oh, Harry knows, Sirius; remember he has witnessed the Dark Lord's wrath first hand, and through his visions. He knows exactly what he is doing. He knows what will happen if he gets caught. I would not be surprised if Harry was lured: His damned noble streak is widely known, so why wouldn't the Dark Lord take advantage of it? He would."

**~*~**

Harry woke up to a searing headache. He was curled up, his knees pressed to his chest, and he was chained to a wall, and couldn't see anything; he wasn't sure if it was day or night. He tried sitting up and groaned. Every muscle in his body was on fire and the least movement sent spasms of pain shooting through him. He could feel something wet running down his arms and legs and guessed it to be blood. _Bloody brilliant. I was so careful; how did they find me? I was almost free, but now I am as good as dead._

Harry closed his eyes and thought of Severus. He couldn't talk with Severus. He couldn't endanger him that way, but Harry wanted to connect to Severus just to make him aware that he was okay, even though he was far from it at the moment.

Eventually he fell into a restless sleep. When he woke next, he felt strange, yet it was a peaceful feeling. He was still somewhat tired, but he felt almost weightless; it was an odd sensation. Then he heard footsteps descending down stairs.

"Good morning, Potter, get enough sleep?"

Harry remained silent.

"Not that it matters; you'll be dead soon enough."

_"Sev?Sev? Can you hear me? I am sorry. I didn't want to leave you, but I thought it was the only way. But they have me and are going to kill me. I never thought this would happen. You were right, Sev: I am a foolish Gryffindor. I'm so sorry, Severus."_

**~*~**_  
_  
"_Harry? Think, think hard, think of you and me, and think of you returning here to me at Hogwarts. I know you can do it, please think with me, love."_

_"I'm trying but I can't feel anything; I'm too weak. I want to close my eyes and go to sleep."_

_"__**NO, **__Harry, you must not go to sleep. Keep concentrating, love."_

Harry lost consciousness.  
_  
_Severus ran to the Headmaster's office and found the door open waiting for him. "Albus I heard him; he talked to me, but I sense that he is badly hurt. He says he is weak and hasn't the energy needed to try to transport back here. I could hear the weariness; he is not far away from death." Severus was choking on his words, and was finding it hard to remain standing.

"Sit down, Severus." Albus conjured a plate of sandwiches and a flask of pumpkin juice. "Eat. You have been out searching for Harry and I know you have not eaten. You are already looking overly fatigued. I will not allow you to leave my office until you have eaten adequately."

Severus was hungry, so he thankfully ate as much as he could. After three sandwiches he was feeling a bit more energized. "Thank you, Albus. I must get back to looking for Harry."

"It has been almost twenty-four hours, Severus; you won't find him in the forest."

"So what now? I cannot simply sit around waiting for his body to show up on the front steps, and that is what will happen, Albus. He is out there somewhere and I have to find him if it's the last thing I do. I have to get through his mind somehow. The two of us were able to free him from the Riddle House when he was weak, so I see no reason why the same cannot be done now."

"Keep talking to him; will him to come back to you, Severus. There is no way of knowing what you and Harry can do with your joint powers. Whatever you do, do not lose faith."

Severus nodded and gave the Headmaster a weak smile before turning to leave.

**~*~**

Ron and Hermione hadn't been allowed to help look for Harry since they had lessons. Nothing had been mentioned about Harry's disappearance as of yet, but there were whispers everywhere that something was wrong. Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Transfiguration, were all cancelled for the day, causing much speculation among the students that something had happened to their professors.

Finally, when Hermione got out of Arithmancy, and Ron Divination, they ran outside to see if they could find any information about Harry. Hagrid was standing at the edge of the forest, and the two young Gryffindors could tell he was upset. They ran to him.

"Hagrid, have they found Harry yet?"

Hagrid looked sadly at Hermione. "No."

"Well, we can't just stand here, we've gotta go help find him."

"No, Ron, you and 'Ermione have to stay 'ere, Dumbledore made me promise to keep the two of ya away from the forest."

"Who is out looking for him?" Ron was wringing his hands together; he couldn't sit around waiting until something happened.

"Professers' Black, Malfoy and Snape. The Ministry has been notified and has sent Aurors to see if they can find out anything. The two of ya should go inside. I'll come get ya if 'ere is any news, promise."

Seeing as how they had no other choice, Ron and Hermione returned to Gryffindor Tower.

"Ron, why would Harry tell us he was taking the letter to Professor Snape, then decide to leave without doing so? It doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah well… er, Hermione, I think we need to talk about that."

Hermione shot Ron a perplexed look but sat down and motioned Ron to join her. "Go on. You obviously know something."

Ron took a deep breath. He had to tell Hermione: This was too big to keep to himself. "First, you can't tell anyone what I am about to tell you."

"Well, Ron I can't promise that until you tell me; if it is dangerous, then I have to tell."

"Oh yeah, Miss Head Girl and all, I forgot. Well, no, what I have to tell you isn't dangerous, but it could be if certain people found out. I wouldn't ask you to promise if it were not really important."

Hermione could see the desperation in Ron's face, so she nodded. "Okay, I promise."

Ron then recounted what he had witnessed the prior evening, leaving nothing out. He told of how desperate Professor Snape seemed. "Hermione, the letter mentioned getting to all of his friends, and anyone else who would be affected by Harry's loss. From what I saw last night, I think Harry left to protect all of us, including Snape. I think from the moment Harry read the letter, he knew what he was going to do. I just wish we had known."

"Me too. Poor Professor Snape. I thought they were close friends, but… wow, the two of them together? I never saw it."

"Me neither. And maybe… maybe they aren't and maybe I'm misreading what I saw and heard, but I don't think so. I mean… Hermione, Snape looked so helpless, and the way he kept crying out Harry's name. It was all I could do to restrain myself from going up and hugging him. And you know for me to say that about him, well that is saying something."

**~*~**

Mr Weasley, meet me in my office in fifteen minutes and do not be late," Severus said before stalking off.

"Yes, sir." Ron looked nervously at Hermione as they were getting up to leave the Great Hall. "You don't think he knows about me seeing him last night, do you?"

"I don't know, Ron, but if he does, then just tell him you saw him and were worried about him."

"Er yeah… like Snape is going to believe that I, the bane of his existence, actually had some concern for him."

Hermione glared at Ron. "We don't even know what he is calling you in his office for; perhaps it is for something entirely different."

"I doubt it. Well, I better get down there; wouldn't want to be late."

Ron made it to Snape's office with a few minutes to spare. He knocked then entered as the door opened. He noticed Snape sitting behind his desk with an envelope in his hands. _Oh shite!_

"Sit." Severus pointed to a chair across from his desk and Ron hurriedly complied. "I believe this belongs to you?" Severus handed Ron the envelope that the letter he had received the previous night had been in.

Ron's face went pale. "Yes, sir."

"Would you care to know where I found it?"

Ron remained silent; this was a no-win situation.

"I was outside last night, and when I turned to return to the castle, that envelope was lying on the ground directly in front of me, and it had not been there when I arrived. Would you be so kind as to enlighten me about how it arrived at that particular spot?"

Ron gulped. He couldn't lie; Snape would be able to tell, and Ron knew his former professor was more than likely aware of what he had been doing outside anyway. "Sir, I saw you from Gryffindor Tower and thought something must be wrong."

"So, you took it upon yourself to leave… after curfew… to come check on me, your favorite professor. Is that how it is?" Snape's eyes were burning holes through Ron.

Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"How long were you there?"

"Not long, sir."

"Long enough, I am sure. Mr Weasley, I need not tell you that anything you heard last night must remain between you and me. I am not sure what you heard, but I can guess and can assume you have already made your own assumptions as to what you heard. Keep it to yourself, Mr Weasley: Such information could get people killed. Do not let me hear that you have been talking. If you thought I was a greasy git and bastard before, then I will prove it once and for all if I hear that you have talked. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"I hope so, for your sake. That is all; you are dismissed."

Ron wanted to bolt out of the room; he had forgotten how intimidating Snape could be face to face, but he also wanted to find out if anything had been discovered about Harry. "Sir?"

Snape raised a brow in Ron's direction then spoke in a sad voice. "No, Mr Weasley, we haven't found anything regarding Harry."

Ron slumped his shoulders, gave his professor a frown, and nodded before leaving the Potion master's office.

**~*~**

Harry awoke to someone shaking him violently. "Get up, Potter, now." Harry slowly opened his eyes, which were almost swollen shut, and saw two red eyes piercing his body.

_Bugger. Voldemort._

"Stand up, Potter. I want you to face me when you die."

Harry stood up gingerly. Every part of his body was on fire and ached, but he would not give his nemesis the satisfaction of knowing just how hurt he was.

_You bastard… you don't deserve to live, you need to die. I want to rip your soul out and tear you to shreds. Because of you, Draco, Remus, Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, Dudley, Cedric, my mum, and my dad are all dead, and those are only some of your victims. Just die already._

No sooner had Harry had those thoughts when the Dark Lord clutched his chest and fell to the ground writhing in pain. Harry was stunned.

_What the… no way._

Voldemort's eyes began fluttering and he began spitting up blood. Then Harry saw a white mist exit the top of Voldemort's head. Within a minute, all movement was gone. Harry knelt down and pressed his finger against the man's neck, then wrist; there was no pulse. Then without warning the lifeless body erupted in flames, leaving behind a pile of ashes minutes later.

Harry wasn't sure what to do: not that he could do much anyway. He had lost a lot of blood and could feel himself losing consciousness.

"_Severus… I want Severus… please take me to Severus"._

**~*~**

Severus was sitting in his sitting room not knowing what to do. He was sick with grief. He would never see Harry again. Harry would be killed. Severus would never be able to say I love you again.

_"Severus… I want Severus… please take me to Severus_."

Severus ran as quickly as he could until he was standing at the Apparition point.

"_Come back to me, Harry… think of me… please come back to me, Harry."_

With a pop, Severus was standing before Harry's bloodied body, which showed no signs of life. Severus gathered the young wizard in his arms and wrapped him in his cloak as he ran towards the hospital wing. But halfway there he turned around and made his way to their rooms. Something inside him knew it was not safe to have Harry anywhere else."

Once in their bedroom, Severus stripped Harry, called Madam Pomfrey and the Headmaster, then began examining Harry's injuries. Poppy immediately Flooed in and assessed the damage.

Harry had an extremely weak pulse, but there were no other signs of life. He was turning blue, his body was convulsing almost continuously, and his temperature was lower than it should be. Severus gathered all the blankets he could find and wrapped Harry in them as tightly as possible before he himself got in the bed and wrapped himself around Harry

The Headmaster walked in. "What happened, Severus?"

"I don't know, Albus. I was sitting in here and heard him calling out to me. When I began talking to him at the Apparition point, he suddenly appeared."

Albus nodded as he scratched his beard, assessing the situation. "Whoever did this to Harry meant for him to die. Until we know what went on with Harry, I think we must carry on as if he has in fact died. At this point, Harry probably will not survive this, but if he does, unfortunately, we need everyone to think he didn't. I won't have what Harry tried to do be for naught. He did this to save you, Severus, as well as his friends. If the Death Eaters and Voldemort think him dead, then that is what we will let them think."

"Albus, there must be another way… we can't lie to his friends."

"You are right about that, Severus. The boy has been through too much as it is. If we cut him off from his friends, I fear he would take drastic measures. No, we will tell Miss Granger and Mr Weasley what is happening, but no others. For now, that is all I can give you."

Severus continued looking at Harry. "I will go talk to them now."

"Harry is in good hands, Severus."

The Slytherin nodded as he extricated himself from Harry's side. After placing a kiss on Harry's small forehead, he left to go find Harry's friends.

**~*~**

"Ron, Hermione, there is someone to see you in my sitting room."

Sirius was looking somber, making both Ron and Hermione almost certain this was about Harry. Hermione stood up shakily and almost fell but Ron helped her stand.

"Come on, Hermione." Ron put an arm around his visibly trembling friend's shoulder and the two of them followed Sirius. They looked into the piercing eyes of Professor Snape, who was standing just inside the doorway, and knew something was horribly wrong.

Severus looked at Sirius before turning his attention to the two young Gryffindors. "We found Harry." Severus raised his hand. "He has been hurt badly and is unconscious. He probably is not going to live through the night." Severus had to close his eyes to keep himself from breaking down. "In the case that he does survive, we have decided the outside world must believe Harry to be dead. Harry left the castle to protect us and we cannot allow that to have been in vain. Whoever had him, wanted him dead, so that is how he must remain. We have decided to tell you for Harry's sake, but I must stress how important this is to the both of you. No one must know, not even your sister, Mr Weasley. I am aware of her and Harry's friendship, but that cannot be helped. We will do what must be done to protect Harry. If he wakes up then we can find out if he has any new information for us, then we will go from there. Do the two of you understand?"

Both Ron and Hermione's faces had paled considerably, but they both nodded. "Where is he?"

"At the moment, he is in my rooms." Severus knew it was only a matter of time before the two students standing before him found out about him and Harry. Ron had enough information to figure it out on his own, which the Potions Master was sure he had done. "Miss Granger, you may want to talk to Mr Weasley."

Ron looked at his former professor and the older man nodded. "He can enlighten you on the finer points of just why that is." Severus glared at Ron. "I would advise you to give Miss Granger the same advice I gave you regarding this information. I will be holding you accountable if word gets out. Now, if the three of you will excuse me, I must get back to Harry. Sirius, you can bring them down in an hour unless you hear from me before."

After Severus left, Sirius turned to Ron. "You know?" Ron nodded.

"So do I," Hermione said rather hesitantly.

"You both realise that no one can know, absolutely no one. The other staff members know, but no others."

"Don't worry, Sirius, we won't tell."

**~*~**

When Ron and Hermione entered Professor Snape's sitting room with Sirius, they were met by the Headmaster. "There has been no change I am afraid. The two of you should be prepared. Harry is hurt badly and we could not heal many of his wounds, as they were caused by dark magic. He will look much different then you last saw him."

Approaching the bed her best friend lay in, Hermione began crying as she saw her best friend's battered body. He looked dead. She glanced at her Potions professor, who was holding a damp flannel to Harry's forehead and staring at him, unblinkingly, as if in a trance. Hermione reached out and lightly touched one of her friend's battered hands. "Please wake up, Harry." It was too much for the young witch and she backed away and broke down.

Sirius took her, sat her down on the sofa and gave her some water. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't want you to see him, but no one knows if he is going to make it and I knew you and Ron would want to see him."

Hermione nodded as she began crying again. Ron soon joined her on the sofa, his face ashen. He stared ahead looking at nothing. He couldn't even cry. This was a nightmare; his best friend was going to die.

Sirius walked back into the bedroom and sat beside his godson, as Severus reluctantly left them alone

"Please wake up, Harry. We all love you so much. You have always come back in the past, but maybe this time it is just too much for your body to take. Whatever happens, I love you, Harry." Sirius had tears running down his face as he exited the bedroom and went to stand by himself in a corner of the sitting room.

Severus reentered the bedroom and sat beside Harry. "You can't leave me, Harry. I can't live without you." Severus could barely talk and was having trouble catching his breath. "Please don't leave me, please. I love you, Harry. I love you."

Out in the living room, everyone could hear the muffled cries coming from the bedroom.

Ron walked to the door going into the bedroom and stared at the doorknob.

_Oh Harry. You can't die. You just can't._

**~*~**

"Crabbe, where is our master?"

"Last I saw, he was on his way to kill Potter. I guess he probably took him out somewhere and killed him."

"Yeah… your probably right. I just thought he would be back by now."

"Oh he'll be back soon enough, gloating about finally killing Harry Potter."

**~*~**

Severus felt something on his face and slowly opened his eyes to see Harry's fingers gently prodding at the side of his face. Sitting up, he looked down at Harry, who had his eyes open just enough to see.

"Sev?"

Harry's voice was raspy and barely audible, but it was his Harry talking to him. "Hello, Harry." Severus could hardly believe his eyes.

"He's dead."

Who is dead, Harry?"

"V…Vol…Voldemort."

It was a whisper but there was no mistaking what Harry had said. "How?"

"I wished him dead and he died… I don't have any other explanation. I wanted him dead and wanted his soul to be destroyed and then it happened." Within seconds, Harry was once again asleep.

Severus should have called Poppy in, but he knew Harry was going to be fine now, so he wanted to let him rest before everyone began bombarding him with questions. Severus would let Poppy and the Headmaster in, but his and Harry's room would be off limits to anyone else until Harry was healed completely.

Severus wanted nothing more than to talk to Harry and to hold him and never let him go, but he knew there would be time for that. He leaned over and pressed his lips softly against Harry's. "Sleep well, my love."

**~*~**

"Severus…SEVERUS…**SEVERUS?"**

Severus sat up with a start and noticed that Harry was staring wide-eyed at him, shaking uncontrollably. "It's okay, Harry, you're safe now. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Severus gently placed his arms around Harry and pulled the younger wizard nearer to him as he stroked Harry's back. Severus could feel the trembling and hear the soft cries as Harry held on to him. Severus wondered what his young lover had been through; it must have been quite a harrowing ordeal judging from his wounds, but what worried Severus far more, were the emotional wounds.

_"I'm not worth this, love."_

_"Yes, you are. You're worth everything I went through, Severus. I would do it again if it meant keeping you safe."_

Severus gently placed Harry under the covers and moved Harry so his head rested on his chest. That is how they fell asleep, and that is how the Headmaster found them when he entered the room to check on Harry.

**~*~**

"Why can't I tell Ginny? She'll be devastated."

"Harry, the fewer people who know about this, the better."

"I won't do it if Ginny isn't told the truth, and that is final." Harry tried sitting up but was still too sore to move without great pain. He grimaced and, with Severus's help, returned to his previous position.

Albus nodded slowly as he glanced over at Severus. "Very well. Miss Weasley will be brought down here and you can tell her yourself what is happening."

"Thank you, Headmaster." Harry had a grin on his face. He knew how important this was, but there was a point where one's loyalty as a friend should mean more than one's loyalty to a cause.

"If I didn't know any better, Harry, I'd say you had something going on with my sister," Ron said, chuckling.

Harry rolled his eyes at Ron. "Ah…come on, Ron, you know Gin and I have been close for a long time, but you also know there is only one person for me." Harry still couldn't believe that Severus had all but told Ron and Hermione it was okay for them to know about him and Harry. Harry looked over at Severus and smiled. Severus returned the smile then stood up and left the room, giving the two friends some private time.

"Er… yeah… er… Harry?"

"Yeah… Ron?" Harry knew his friend was having difficulty with this newest revelation.

"I just wanted you to know I'm okay with you and Snape being together. I know I've been a right git about him. Over the past two days, I've seen a side of him I didn't think existed. Harry, he was heartbroken when you left. I've never seen anyone with so much emotion coming out of them at one time."

"I can't believe he didn't lynch you for seeing him like that, Ron. Severus is such a private person, and to think that you saw him at such a moment, I can't imagine what he felt when he discovered you had been there."

"I'm sure he felt like flogging me. He did make it quite clear that if I spoke of what I'd witnessed, he would prove to me just how much of a bastard he could be. Man, Harry… he's a bit scary when he gets like that."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. "And then he told you that it was okay to tell Hermione?"

Ron nodded. "Well, I think it was more like he knew she would find out."

"Well, I'm just glad I don't have to keep this secret from you any longer. I just wish I could stop with the secrets all together; I hate having to lie about this, having to make people believe I'm dead."

Sirius walked in as Harry was saying this. "We all hate it, Harry, but it has to be done. Even if that bastard is truly dead and gone forever, there are still throngs of Death Eaters out there. Thanks to Tonks, we have identified most of them, and all of the main ones are among those, so it is only a matter of time before we catch them. Then you can safely come out of hiding."

"So, where does that leave me as far as school goes? I refuse to leave after everyone else in my class."

"That has already been taken care of, Harry. With Severus and me as your tutors, the Room of Requirement should provide anything you need in order to keep up with your lessons." Sirius then looked at Ron and glanced at the door.

Ron understood and got up to leave. "I'll see you later, mate, okay?" Harry nodded.

Sirius picked up a flannel and placed it on Harry's forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty buggered." Harry wasn't feeling well at all; talking took a lot of energy out of him, but he hadn't wanted to disappoint his friends or Severus.

"You probably could use some more of the potion Severus has been giving you." About that time, Severus walked in with a phial of said potion and went to sit down on the side of the bed beside Harry. Motioning Sirius to scoot over, Severus neared Harry, tilted up the young wizard's face, and helped him to down the contents of the phial. Lifting the flannel briefly, he kissed Harry gently on the forehead, then lowered Harry's head so he was in a more comfortable position to sleep.

"You need rest." Severus looked at Sirius and mouthed, 'later.' Sirius nodded and left the room, leaving Severus and Harry. Harry had already fallen asleep. Severus picked up one of the small hands and began softly caressing it. Then he climbed in the bed beside Harry after taking off his shoes, and fell into a light sleep as he held his Harry to him for dear life. Severus now knew that he wouldn't survive if anything ever happened to Harry.

Harry was his life.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

Severus was near exhaustion; he hadn't slept much since finding Harry. Poppy tried in vain to make him take Dreamless Sleep and rest, but he wouldn't leave Harry's side. Everyone had offered to sit with Harry but Severus emphatically refused their help and was becoming increasingly agitated by their constant hounding. Harry was his, damn it, and he was going to be the one to tend him, no matter if it was exhaustive and depressing. That is what one did when they loved some one, was it not?

Yes, he most certainly knew his actions and feelings to be irrational, but he couldn't help it: The more he thought about what was being asked of Harry, the more upset he became. He no longer thought it a good idea for the Headmaster to have Harry pretend to be dead; he thought it would be too much for the Gryffindor to handle. Harry was already exhibiting troublesome signs, ones which Severus had thought they'd successfully traversed. They had, but now they were going to have to do so again it seemed. Harry was obviously not destined to have anything in his life be easy.

**~*~**

Harry woke up confused, then it all came back to him: the Death Eaters, the non-stop beatings, his confrontation with Voldemort… Severus finding him. Harry sat up to reach for his glasses, but grimaced as his body revolted against his movements. He was alone and it was dark – too dark, and he couldn't move without feeling as if his body were on fire. He was trapped. Tears began forming in his eyes. Then he heard voices from the other room: they were those of Severus and Dumbledore, and they were discussing _him_. Harry was tired of being the reason for so much despair. He was tempted to make his way to the sitting room, but the state of his body being what it was, that wasn't going to happen. But he could hear the voices just fine without moving, so he lay back down and closed his eyes as the voices continued.

"Keep your voice down; do you want Harry to hear you, Severus?"

"He is asleep, Albus. He should sleep for another three hours because of the potion I gave him."

Harry could hear trembling in Severus's voice and wondered what had caused him to speak in such a way.

"Severus, you've got to pull yourself together. Harry is going to get through this. He'll be fine."

"Will he, Albus? I wish I could believe you, but when I hear those words coming out of your mouth, I recall another time when you said the exact same words regarding Harry. You assured me that he would be safe when you sent him off to live with Petunia and her family. But he wasn't, was he?"

Harry opened his eyes and felt his breathing speed up. Would he find out anything more about Severus and his parents?

"Severus, no one regrets that more than I, but this is an altogether different situation."

"Perhaps, but again, as then, decisions are being made for Harry based on his physical capabilities alone, by those who do not seem to be taking his emotional well-being into consideration. It was unfair then, and it is unfair today."

"Yes, it is unfair,Severus; what we have asked of young Harry is vastly unfair, but as you and I know, life is anything but fair at times. I am one man; contrary to popular belief, I do not have all the answers. Many of Harry's problems stem from the poor judgment I used sixteen years ago and Merlin only knows how I have tried to make up for that since. The child was denied love and happiness, Severus, the result being he is insecure and needs our approval, and that has placed him in harm's way far too many times. Harry is not a normal wizard, Severus; I don't think even you realise how special that child in there is."

As if Harry needed reminding of how _special_ he was. Why couldn't he be like Dean or Neville, or Ron?

"How can you say that, Albus? To you and the wizarding world, that young man in there is _The Savior_; he is the one whose hopes and dreams have had to be dashed time and time again because of who he is – all so he could one day fulfill some forgotten prophecy and kill the Dark Lord. Well, he has done what was expected of him; however, instead of being allowed to move on with his life, he has to remain in hiding, and as far as the outside world is concerned, Harry is dead and Voldemort is still alive, therefore these people who have always counted on Harry in the past still think Harry their only hope. It is time to allow him his space; he needs to be able to live without the burdens of everyone else. Harry is special to _me_, Albus, because I love him; I would die for him… I would do anything for him. Albus, I am not asking for much; I gave up on happy endings a long time ago. All that I care about is Harry and his well-being. If we can get him through this unscathed, or at least no more damaged than he already is, then I will be happy. I just want him and me to be together. That is all I am asking."

And that was all Harry wanted as well. That is all he had ever wanted.

"I wish there were another way, Severus, but there isn't. Until we catch the remaining inner-circle Death Eaters, Harry must remain dead to everyone. This will be over soon and then you and he will be able to live without any fear of Voldemort or the Death Eaters coming after you."

Curling up, Harry squeezed his eyes and tried to block everything out. It was all too much.

~*~

It was decided that during the day when Severus was teaching, Harry would be confined to the Room of Requirement, where he would do his class work. During off periods, Sirius and Severus would tutor him. At night, he would resume his normal routine and would remain with Severus or Sirius.

Harry's friends were forbidden to enter the Room of Requirement; only Severus and Sirius had permission to do so. A reluctant concession to Harry was that his friends would be given Potion's tutoring every Tuesday and Thursday evenings after supper, giving them an opportunity to visit. While not ideal and not at all satisfying, it was the way it had to be: Until the handful of important Death Eaters were caught, Harry and his friends were not safe.

**~*~**

The Great Hall was eerily devoid of sound; even with it being filled with students, a pin could have been heard had one been dropped. There was a sense that something was amiss, and having the Headmaster stand up before them and clear his throat after supper did nothing to quell that feeling. Hundreds of eyes peered towards the High Table.

"Students, I have some sad news to report to you: Hogwarts has sustained a great loss." Albus took a deep breath and continued. "Harry Potter was found dead yesterday in the forbidden forest." Gasps could be heard coming from each of the four tables, including the Slytherin one. "I am not at liberty to divulge the details, but please be assured that each of you is safe. Mr Potter was not within the protective barriers of Hogwarts at the time of his death."

Little consolation that should be, Albus mused. The older students had permission to enter the forest for Potions classes. Now, he might need to re-think that allowance. Truth be told, he should have put a stop to it years earlier, when Voldemort had initiated his first war against the wizarding world. But he hadn't because the forest was a cornucopia of herbs and other ingredients, and it was the perfect place to train young students how to search for food. As he had told Minerva back then, if you protect students from everything then you allow them nothing. There would always be a precarious trade-off, but then, wasn't that how life was as well?

After a few further comments, the Headmaster finished his speech and left the Great Hall, a sorrow he had rarely felt descending on him. He cared for Harry as a son, and even as he was alive and well, it broke Albus's heart to think that this could really have happened.

~*~

Harry, tired of lying listless in bed, nothing but morbid thoughts to keep him company whenever Severus was away, had finally convinced him that he need not be confined to the bedroom; thus, he was currently lying on the sofa, his head resting in Severus's lap, watching his friends, who were congregated by the fireplace, doing homework and talking softly. Every few minutes, Ginny looked up to check on him, and each time, she smiled as her eyes looked at Professor Snape. Harry had told her about him and Severus, which he'd known she would appreciate: She was probably the only other person who could see what the he saw in the tall, dark, Slytherin. Ginny had developed a huge crush on her Potions professor in her second year, and it had lasted into her fourth year, but she had never told anyone, not even Harry, until after the fact. She had since recovered from her infatuation, and now that Harry and the tall, dark Slytherin were involved in a relationship, Ginny couldn't have been happier.

**~*~**

"No, it hurts… stop… ouch… no, No, **No!"**

"Harry!" Severus shook him and watched as scared eyes darted around the room.

"Where am I?"

"You're safe, Harry. I'm not going anywhere." Harry collapsed in Severus's arms and started shaking. Severus felt the tears as they fell onto his chest, and that caused Severus to tighten his embrace.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I was sure I could protect you and my friends if I left, but I only made matters worse as I always seem to do. You must hate me now."

Severus tilted Harry's pale tear-streaked face up so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "How could you ever think that I would hate you, Harry? You should not have run off as you did, but all that matters now is that you are safe. I am just sorry for what all you went through because of your need to keep everyone safe."

"I hate having to pretend I'm dead, Sev." Harry again rested his head against Severus's chest and leaned into the fingers that were threading through his hair.

"I know you do, Harry, so do I, but we are only doing what you tried to do by leaving. We are protecting you, as well as your friends. You took a huge risk by doing what you did, and I agree with the Headmaster; I won't have what you did be for naught. Can you understand that?" Harry nodded. "I doubt you will have to remain this way for very long, but we will not jeopardize your life just so you can be more normal. I will not lose you."

"I love you, Severus," Harry said, his voice weak.

_And, I you_, thought Severus. Such innocence, his Harry. Not for the first or even thousandth time, Severus marveled that this was his life. "I love you, too, Harry. We'll get through this, I promise." It was an awfully foolish thing, to make such a statement, but there was no alternative, and Severus was well aware that he had to say what Harry wanted and needed to hear. There would be time for truths later. Severus wiped at a tear that was about to fall out of the corner of Harry's right eye, and Harry looked at him with such a pitiful expression that Severus had to turn away for a moment. When Harry made that face, he almost looked like the eleven-year-old that had entered Hogwarts six years earlier. Severus shook his head to clear that disturbing thought from his mind. "What have you done to me, Harry?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders and his lips continued to pucker out in a pout. Severus couldn't resist such an inviting sight as those lips craving attention, so he leaned down and softly brushed his lips across the smaller ones of Harry. When he pulled away, Harry whimpered, trying to pull Severus back down to him. Severus pulled Harry up to sit in his lap and held him as close to his heart as he could. Severus didn't look at Harry as he began to speak, but instead looked across the room at the bare, stone wall. It had been there for hundreds of years, and had seen many inhabitants occupy these rooms. It would always be there, no matter what, just as Severus would always be there for Harry.

"Can you hear that, Harry? It's my heart. For a long time, I didn't know if I had one. After losing my family, then your parents and you, I didn't want it anymore; it hurt too much to love people when they always ended up leaving me. After Hagrid took you away that day, sixteen years ago, I completely withdrew. No one could understand why I was so miserable; they said I should be celebrating the Dark Lord's demise, but all I could think about was your parents and you. From the day you left until the day I saw you again, when you were sorted, I was full of hatred and loathing. Even seeing you again did nothing to melt the exterior of what once had been my heart. I had grown too distant and didn't think anything could ever break through my loveless heart, although that is what I wished for more than anything. I had to act as if I loathed you, and that killed me, but it wasn't difficult to do, because somewhere deep down I did blame you for my unhappiness. But, I knew it was wrong, and I wanted so badly for you to understand me and know why I was treating you as I was. You were as lost as I was at times it seemed, but I could do nothing to help you. Eventually, I decided you were better off without me in your life, so I tried to stop caring about you; why would The-Boy-Who-Lived want anything to do with a mean old shell of a person such as me? It never worked, Harry. The more I tried to distance myself from you, the more I was drawn into your world. You were so like me, yet you were so completely different. I longed to have your sunny disposition and your ability to make friends so easily. You were who I had always wanted to be when I was growing up."

Harry interrupted Severus. "I wouldn't think anyone would want to be me." He found Severus's hands and clasped them in his before snuggling closer. He could feel Severus's heart beating, and that, combined with Severus's voice was soothing. Harry closed his eyes.

Severus chose to ignore Harry's self-deprecating statement. "But then I realised your life was not so perfect and that you were having to face things far more disturbing than anyone else your age. When Mr Diggory died, it was all I could do to keep myself from taking you and giving you a huge hug. I knew you needed to cry and get out all of the pent-up emotions that had been building inside. I wanted to let you know that there was someone out there who loved you for you and not for what you had done when you were a baby. I am so glad Mrs Weasley was there for you that day and allowed you to cry; you needed to get it out of your system. I'm certain there were plenty of similar times when there was no one."

When a tear found its way down Harry's face, Severus wiped it away with his thumb.

"Harry, don't ever feel like you're alone. I will always be here for you. If you need to cry, laugh, rant, throw a tantrum, whatever it is: let me be here for you. This heart of mine is finally full of love again, for you, and I have an endless supply. Please let me love and protect you." Severus leaned his head back against the wall head board and closed his eyes. This was so much more difficult than it should have been. How differently things would have been had he got his way and raised Harry…

Harry had tears streaming down his face as he looked into Severus's eyes and nodded. "I'll never leave you again, Sev, I promise. I need you just as much as you say you need me." It was the truth, and for the first time, Harry got it – this was real – he didn't quite believe it: that he and Severus Snape were at this point was so far beyond anything he could have imagined six years ago. How could it be that he had come to love this man? And how could it be that this man loved him? It was more than he could think about, so he closed his eyes again and allowed Severus's voice to lull him into comfort. He might not understand what was happening, but he would never refuse what had been given.

Severus Snape was Harry's life, and that was all Harry needed to know.

Harry wiped his face with his arm and took a deep breath. "Er Severus, I knew that it was hard for you to accept my parents' deaths, but you make it sound like losing me was harder; I was just a baby."

Yes, just a baby. Harry had been a mere baby, a helpless one at that. "When Hagrid took you away, Harry, it was the saddest day of my life. Yes, you _were_ only a baby, someone who was dependent on others for your every need. Your mother and father loved you and took care of you; they would have done anything for you. You were their son, their pride and joy. But, you were also the first person who loved _me_ unconditionally from the beginning. Of course, you were only a baby and had no idea of that, but there you were, this bundle of joy, whose smile lit up the room. When you looked at me, I was Sev, I was not someone's unwanted child, not some sniveling teenager who had no friends, nor was I a Death Eater: I was simply Sev. You and I became instantly inseparable, Harry. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were someone special, and fell in love with your indefatigable spirit." Severus could very easily have allowed a few tears at this point, but he wasn't the least bit sad about this now. He was so very happy, and reliving those memories, as painful as they were, and they were filled with sorrow, made him smile.

"Why haven't you ever told me this before, Sev?" Sev – now Harry smiled. He had worried whether or not Severus liked it when he was called Sev, but now he understood why Severus allowed him to use the nickname.

"When I first realised my feelings for you were somewhat more than platonic last year, I initially hated myself for what I felt; it didn't seem appropriate that I should have these feelings for you. When you were a baby, I loved you, Harry, but I loved you as a father would a son, or an uncle, their nephew. I was one of your protectors. Even you being taken from me when you were only one, the bond between us was already there. I knew that you would always be my little Harry. How does one justify falling in love with someone after going through all of that? If circumstances had been somewhat different, I may have very well raised you. I felt it was wrong and undignified to have these increasingly lustful feelings for you, and most importantly, I thought you would be disgusted with me for these feelings I was having for someone I could very well have raised."

Harry backed away a few inches and looked into Severus's eyes. "Sev, for ten years you had no contact with me and had no idea what my life was like. Okay, yeah… if you had raised me and been in my life for all of those years then suddenly began having these feelings of love for me… yeah, that would have probably freaked me out, but what happened between you and me… there is nothing wrong about that."

That one was not so easy for Severus, but he was trying to believe that what Harry said to be the truth. "I have come to realise that, Harry, and I know that your parents would approve of us being together. It just took time for me to come to terms with it. I don't have any regrets when it comes to you and me." Not completely true, but almost, and almost was as good as it would get for Severus.

"Good." Harry grinned, then carefully turned so he could kiss Severus on the chin.

**~*~**

_"Boy-Who-Lived Found Dead on Hogwarts Grounds"_

_"Ministry officials verified for us yesterday evening that the body of Harry James Potter, 17, the son of the late James and Lily Potter, was found in the forbidden forest, but would not comment as to the cause of death. Speculation has been running rampant that the death was a result of Death Eater activities; however, this has not been proven._

_"It was Harry Potter who ended He Who Must Not Be Named first reign of terror when the boy was fifteen months old. Two-and-a-half-years ago, He Who Must Not Be Named reemerged and has been wreaking havoc since._

_"Mr Potter's autopsy results were not available, but it appears at this time that this death is directly linked to Death Eaters. Sources with the Ministry have told the Daily Prophet that they are actively pursuing all former Death Eaters…."_

"Damn it, Albus. Why don't they just advertise it to the entire world that we are looking for Death Eaters! Don't they realise that making this public knowledge is not helping our cause?"

Albus began to chuckle, but quickly hid it when Severus glared at him. "They are selling papers, Severus. I don't believe that they stop to think about the consequences of what they write. This doesn't help matters, I agree."

"Tonks owled this morning to inform me that they caught Avery and Goyle last night," Severus said with a slight smile.

Yes, so Albus had heard. "That is indeed welcome news; are they talking?"

"Not at the moment, but they will once they are under the influence of Veritaserum."

"Let us hope that they have the information we need to find the others. For Harry's sake, I am wanting this to be over and done with as soon as possible."

"Me too, Albus. Perhaps Arthur will have some news when he arrives. He is coming to talk with Harry this evening, and that has me more than a little worried. You know Harry can't say he wished Voldemort dead and it happened. I will not allow anyone to use him, and you know that is exactly what would happen if word got out about what actually took place... about us sharing this bond."

"Yes… yes… I do know that, Severus. Here is how I see it: Harry was attacked violently by Death Eaters and left to die. Nothing has been mentioned regarding Voldemort, therefore I see no reason to begin. It is not as if the Death Eaters can say Voldemort killed Harry unless they want to implicate themselves by association. Of course, the Ministry has to know Voldemort is behind this, which we know he was, but they just won't find out that Harry killed him, not until it is safe."

Severus took a deep breath. They seemed to be digging themselves in rather deep. "I hope we are doing the right thing, Albus by not telling the Ministry that Voldemort is dead."

"I hope so too, Severus."

**~*~**

"Mr Longbottom, please meet me in my office in ten minutes."

"Yes, sir." Neville was sitting at the Gryffindor table staring at Harry's empty place among all the students. It couldn't be true; Harry had to be alive. Neville had just seen him at the Dueling Club a couple of days ago. They had shared a few laughs and Neville remembered how happy Harry had looked. When the Headmaster had announced Harry's death, it had upset Neville a great deal and he had run from the Great Hall as soon as he heard what happened. Neville didn't have many friends, and the few he did have, meant a lot to him. Harry was someone Neville thought of as his best friend, even though before this year, they hadn't spent a great deal of time together. Neville looked up to Harry as a big brother even with them being the same age.

Dragging himself along the corridors, Neville arrived at Professor Malfoy's office and entered as the door opened.

"Please have a seat, Neville. There is something I need to tell you about Mr Potter."

Neville was as rigid as a statue and knew he must have paled. _What could be worse than Harry being dead?_

Lucius stood, came around to where Neville was sitting, knelt in front of the obviously terrified boy, and tried to summon the strength to begin speaking. "What I am about to tell you, Neville, you must promise to keep to yourself; no one can know."

Neville wasn't sure what he should do, but he nodded. It was more than a bit disconcerting the way Professor Malfoy was kneeling in front of him; something bad must be going on.

"Harry is alive, Neville."

Whatever Neville had expected, it surely wasn't what had just come out of his professor's mouth. "How?" Neville's chin began to quiver and he could feel the tears beginning to fall. He tried unsuccessfully to quell them.

"Mr Potter was hurt badly, and we really did think he was not going to survive, but thank Merlin, he did. For several reasons, ones which I am sure you can guess, for now it is better if Harry appears dead to the outside world. The only ones who are aware he is alive are the staff members, a handful of Ministry officials, as well as Mr and Miss Weasley, Miss Granger, and you. You, Ron, Hermione and Harry have been spending a great deal of time together and the students know that. We had to have you react naturally to the news of Harry's death to ensure believability. I am sorry, Neville."

"Can I see him?" Neville asked. Professor Malfoy nodded. "When my parents had to leave me, I was too young to fully realise the impact their leaving would have on me, but I missed them every day. Last night when the Headmaster said Harry had been found dead, I knew it had to be the work of Death Eaters sent by _You Know Who_. I didn't want to believe Harry could be dead; he was one of the few of my classmates that from the first day had included me instead of ignoring me.

Lucius looked at Neville and couldn't help but see his son. The Gryffindor had the same haunted look in his eyes. _How could I have agreed to go along with this? Neville trusted me and accepted me as his mentor, and I helped keep the truth from him._ He was sure the boy would never trust him again. "I am so sorry, Neville."

"I want to see him, to see that he is really alive. I don't know who to believe anymore. Why does everyone have to lie to me?"

Lucius stood, taking deep breaths trying to quell his emotions. "Please follow me, Neville. I will take you to Harry."

Neville did as his professor asked, and the two walked in silence until they reached Severus's rooms.

"I must warn you that Harry is still very weak and his appearance will probably shock you. He is doing better than he was, but he still has a long way to go. Whatever you say, please do not upset him; his emotional state is extremely precarious, but I know you understand about that."

Neville nodded. He knew that Harry had more than likely been subjected to much the same things as his parents had, and knew that even with the results being not as severe, Harry would be requiring a lot of help and support to get over this.

"Yes, sir."

Lucius and Neville entered the sitting room, which was currently empty. Walking to a door directly across from the entranceway, Lucius softly knocked, and upon hearing Severus's voice, opened the door.

Neville couldn't move from where he was. Across from him was Harry, propped up against several pillows, looking at him.

Harry looked over at Severus and nodded.

Severus walked over to Neville, who was shaking again, and spoke in a soothing voice. "It's okay, Neville. Harry wants to talk to you." Severus knew he was talking to a seventeen-year-old, but it was easy to think that Neville and Harry were younger; both had endured far more than they emotionally could handle, and their emotional growth had been stunted as a result, just as his had been.

Neville looked again at Harry and slowly approached the bed. There was a chair on Harry's side of the bed that Neville sat in. The two professors left the room, but kept the door cracked.

"I'm sorry, Neville," Harry said, then he coughed and grimaced when his ribs rubbed against one another. Neville's eyes widened and Harry quickly schooled his face. "It's okay, just a bit of pain, but hey, I'm Harry Potter; I'm used to the pain." Harry smiled, but wasn't surprised that Neville didn't.

"I'm just so happy to see you alive, Harry," said a nervous Neville, his hands balled up in his lap.

"They should have told you; I should have made them tell you."

"It's okay, Harry, really. All that matters is you're alive." There was a lot more Neville wanted to say and ask, but he remembered Professor Malfoy's words about not upsetting Harry. Neville glanced around the room. "I guess you never thought you'd be down here in Professor Snape's rooms, did you?"

Harry grinned. "Yeah... er… about that… Neville, er Professor Snape and I are together."

Neville's eyes widened in shock and it took him a few seconds to respond. "You're serious?"

"Quite, but you can't tell anyone. If anyone else finds out, it's Ron's head." Harry chuckled and Neville raised a brow at that comment. "Just don't say anything… Ron may have his faults, but he's a good friend."

"I won't say anything… but you and Snape? Sorry, Harry, it's just weird. You and he haven't exactly got along… ever."

"Yeah, well… things change." The door opened and Neville saw the person they were currently discussing enter the bedroom and walk over to Harry. Forgetting that the man had been so nice to him only minutes earlier, Neville tensed. Six years, well, actually more, spent being terrified of his Potions professor was not so easily dismissed. Neville stood and began walking towards the door. "Well, I guess I should go. I'll come talk to you later, Harry."

Harry smiled and nodded. "He doesn't bite, I promise, but okay, we'll talk later. Thanks, Neville for coming to see me."

"I'm glad you're okay, Harry."

**~*~**

Severus, Sirius and Lucius were sitting in Severus's office waiting for Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. The four Gryffindors needed to be briefed about the relationship between Harry and Severus. While the three were meeting with Harry's friends, Albus was with Harry, who was again sleeping.

Severus had begun to feel uncomfortable and did not want Harry's friends thinking he had seduced Harry or something along those lines. The rules were clear regarding such situations: it was against school policy, and violating said policy called for the automatic expulsion of the student in question and immediate termination of the professor or staff member, no exceptions. Severus felt it necessary to inform Harry's friends of what exactly was going on between their friend and himself because he didn't want anyone thinking Harry was being given special privileges. Ron and Harry seemed to be doing much better and their friendship seemed stable, but Severus knew how fleeting that could be, and if Ron thought Harry was being allowed to skirt the rules, then he might turn on his once best friend. That was the last thing Harry needed. Harry needed his friends now more than ever, and Severus would do anything to ensure that they would help Harry as much as they could, even if it meant revealing personal information that he would rather keep between him and Harry.

Once the four had entered and were seated, Severus launched into the oration he had prepared. It was not as if he were telling them any intimate details of his and Harry's relationship, but Severus could feel heat rising to his cheeks, and he knew the students could tell he was blushing. _Bugger all… I'll never be taken seriously again._

Severus's speech, because that is what it was, didn't take long, and to his great surprise and relief, the students were very interested in the bond aspect of the relationship. Hermione shocked Severus (why, he wasn't sure) by saying she had read about _Substringo Infinitio_ over the summer when she was doing some advanced research. She asked a few questions, but nothing probing. Severus should have known… the witch would always be a know-it-all.

As Severus was leaving his office to return to Harry, Ron stopped him.

"I owe you an apology for the other night, Professor Snape."

"Apology accepted, Mr Weasley."

"And… er…well…"

Severus could see the nervousness on Ron's face and allowed a small smile. "Do speak up, boy, I've recently heard I don't bite."

"I'mgladyouandHarryaretogetherIcanseethatyoulovehimalotandthathelovesyoutoo."

Severus allowed the slightest of chuckles. "Thank you, Mr Weasley. Harry is very special to me, and despite what you might think, what his friends think of us being together, matters to me."

Ron nodded, mouth still open in shock.

"Not to worry, I haven't gone soft, Mr Weasley. When I next see you, it will be just like old times, and those times being as such, do not forget our talk we had previously; I most certainly will not."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

The Ministry was in chaos; there had been no new news of any Death Eater activity, and no recent reports of Voldemort sightings in almost a month, which was perplexing to the Minister because sightings had been coming in almost continuously for a week before _Harry Potter's death_, then suddenly all activity stopped. Fudge was becoming suspicious, but of what, he wasn't sure.

Of course, the consensus was that Voldemort had found Harry and killed him, but Fudge was not buying that story, not even a bit. If Voldemort had killed the boy, he would have come back and flaunted his conquest to his followers; Voldemort wasn't at all modest about his achievements and would have wanted praise and adulation from as many others as possible. And Fudge also knew that Voldemort would love nothing more than to laugh in his face about the Ministry's inability to protect their _Golden Boy_.

Yes, something was amiss.

This brought other interesting facts to the forefront of the Minister of Magic's mind, such as no Death Eater would dare kill Harry, would they? From Severus, Fudge knew that there were many rules one had to adhere to when serving the Dark Lord, the most important being that the only person who had the right to kill Harry Potter was Voldemort, himself.

Harry was dead.

Someone had killed him.

But if not Voldemort or Death Eaters, then who? Fudge was getting nowhere and was becoming increasingly agitated. He Flooed to Arthur Weasley's office to see if any new information had been discovered.

~*~

Arthur knew the Ministry was becoming suspicious. After all, he did work there and had first-hand knowledge that questions were being raised. He, himself had more than a few of his own. He had spoken to Harry, of course, not long after he had gone into _hiding_, and Harry had confirmed that Avery and Goyle were the two Death Eaters who attacked him. Their wands had been confiscated and Priori Incantatem had been performed. Each of the wands emitted dark curses that were consistent with the injuries Harry had received, and neither could explain why their hands were so badly injured.

Even with the secrets and precarious nature of what was going on, Arthur had never wavered in his decision to go along with Harry's death, and he'd promised the young wizard that justice would be served. He knew the danger Harry and his friend were in, and also was aware that the three remaining heirs of Voldemort would be highly sought after as well. The remaining Death Eaters would do anything to get their hands on the three, and Arthur knew that if Severus and Lucius were caught, they would suffer slow and painful deaths, and he was not going to allow Harry to suffer any more than he already had. Harry blamed himself for recent happenings, and his surrogate father was going to do his best to see that no one else died in this conflict.

His going along with it didn't mean that he agreed with it all, however.

He needed to talk to Albus and Harry; it wouldn't take long for the Death Eaters to begin questioning where their master could be, and then it would only be a matter of time before they began deducing that Harry had killed him and was probably alive. Arthur hadn't been told that Harry killed Voldemort, but he had an idea that he'd not been told because of his position in the Ministry, which was understandable. If he was going to be a party to deception, however, he wanted to be in on the entire story, and obviously there was something not being said, something which Arthur thought he knew the answer to.

But it wasn't as if the Ministry would have discontinued protecting Harry, his friends, and the heirs. Until all of the important Death Eaters were caught, Harry's life would be in danger with or without Voldemort being alive, and the Ministry would have done everything in their power to protect them all.

If Voldemort were dead, if Harry had killed him, and if Albus had knowingly neglected to tell Arthur, then someone was protecting something, something that they didn't want anyone to know, not even him. Arthur was becoming increasingly concerned – there was something someone wanted badly enough for Albus Dumbledore to hide Harry, and that was troubling.

**~*~**

Severus was not having a good day and wanted nothing more than to get these students out of his room so he could go see Harry. It had only been a month, and Harry had seemed to be adjusting to his new routine relatively well, but over the weekend, he had begun to withdraw again, and that was upsetting. Harry had refused to see his friends since then; the only two people he wanted contact with were Severus and Sirius.

Both Professors currently had classes, which left Harry alone in the Room of Requirement, doing his homework. Severus had made a promise to Harry that he would take care of him, and to that end, he would do whatever it took to make sure his vulnerable Harry was okay.

**~*~**

Lucius was sitting in his office marking a large stack of first year essays, out of which, only a handful were legible. He shook his head and sighed as he sat back in his seat and set down his quill. He would never become accustomed to such inept students: Draco had certainly never been this oblivious.

Draco…

Teaching had given Lucius a purpose, and the former Death Eater had eased into his job with little difficulty. It did him good to stay busy, but even with all of his responsibilities, Lucius found that he had far too much time to think, and that was exactly what he did not wish to do.

Draco came to Lucius in his dreams each night, and night after night, the young deceased wizard would tell his father he forgave him and that he loved him. Lucius always awoke, sweating, tears coating his pillow. How could his son love him? How could Draco ever forgive him? Lucius knew he would not be able to do the same if he were the one dead and was meeting his father in his dreams. Lucius hated his father. Yes, hate was a strong word, even for Lucius, but if anyone deserved hatred, it was Luthien Malfoy. Because of him, Lucius had sold his soul to the devil.

Lucius vaguely wondered if word had reached his parents about Draco's death. Neither of his parents had any contact with him; in fact, they had moved to Germany and had cut off all ties with him as soon as their son had left Hogwarts.

Even after their perfect little Death Eater son was marked, and even after he had pledged his unwavering loyalty to Lord Voldemort, Luthien and Lucinda Malfoy had severed all ties with their son. One day they simply left, giving Lucius no warning. That was the last time the three of them had spoken to or seen one other.

His parents had ruined his life and when their job was finished, they left. Lucius couldn't understand what had happened. He had done as his parents had asked; he had grown up to be what his father expected him to be, so what had he done wrong?

Now, of course, it all made perfect sense. Lucius had never belonged to Luthien, but the elder Malfoy had been the good and obedient servant and had ensured that little Lucius would grow up to be just like his biological father.

Lucius was lost in thought when he heard someone knocking on his door. Not in the mood to deal with students today, he made his way to the door in a few strides. "What do you want?" came out harshly as he opened the door and started talking before he saw whom it was: Neville.

"Sorry, sir. I can come back later."

"Mr Longbottom, shouldn't you be in class right now?" Neville nodded as he lowered his head. "Are you sick? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey?"

"No, sir. I was in Transfiguration when…" Neville looked up and scrunched his face up.

"Go on, I'm listening."

"…When Crabbe and Goyle began making fun of me and saying rude things about Harry being dead. They would wait until Professor Black was busy and had his back to the class, and then they made the other Slytherins look at me as they made faces. I couldn't stay there, Professor, they were making me so mad, so I stood up and ran out of the room. Professor Black caught up with me and knew something had happened. He told me to come see if you were here. He told me to stay with you until time to go to my next lesson."

Lucius reined in his temper; it wouldn't do at all to upset the Longbottom boy. "Neville, I am pleased that you came to me with this, but you must understand that the Slytherins will not cease their rude comments. No matter how upsetting it will be for you, you are going to have to learn to not take what they say seriously or personally. They are baiting you, Neville. I know it must be difficult; none of us are enjoying this charade we are having to play out, but for now, it is the best we can do. Actually, I believe you leaving class as you did probably helped solidify your grief and rage over what happened to Harry, but we don't want Harry finding out that this is affecting you to such an extent. Neville, Harry would rather die than cause any of his friends any harm. It is killing him to know that his friends have to pretend he is dead. He has made it clear that he'll not continue this much longer. Please, for Harry, try to keep it together."

"I never thought about Harry, Professor. I'm sorry. It's just so hard."

"I know. And I have not been here for you as I should have, and for that, I apologise. We are all asking a lot of you. I will do better, I promise."

"Please don't. Promises to me are always broken," Neville replied without thinking. Well, it was true.

Lucius sat down and motioned the very sullen and dejected looking Neville to sit across from him. "How was your visit with your parents?"

"Not good. I don't know if I can go back, Professor; I can't look in their eyes and know that they don't recognise me. I just can't."

"And you shouldn't have to, Neville, at least not as often as your grandmother seems to think you should. You are an adult now and can make your own decisions. I have thought for a while now that your grandmother taking you every other day to St Mungo's was too much for you, but I never thought it my place to say anything. That is no longer the case. You have withdrawn over the last month, and I know Harry's predicament has much to do with that, but after each of your visits to your parents, there is a little less spark in your eyes, and I have seen you return each time more forlorn looking. It is as if you die a little more each time."

Neville nodded; he couldn't believe someone knew how he felt. "That's exactly how it feels. I love my parents, Professor, but it hurts so much to see them and to know they can't have a conversation with me."

"I will speak with your grandmother. This is unhealthy for you."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Is there anything else you would care to talk about? Are you having any problems in any of your lessons?"

"No, sir. Lessons are fine…"

Lucius heard hesitancy in his student's voice, and saw something akin to desolation pass over the boy's face. Lucius knew the feeling all too well. "But…?"

"Well, I don't know how to say this, but I think I need to talk to Professor Snape. I need to ask him some questions."

Lucius's eyes widened in surprise. Well, well, this was certainly not at all what he had expected, and he wasn't certain it was a good idea, but he also knew that Neville had to begin somewhere, as Did Severus. The two needed to talk at some point, and sooner was always going to be better than later, even if the opposite seemed true. "Are you sure, Neville?"

"Yes, sir. That day when you took me to see Harry, Professor Snape was nice to me; it was as if it was second-nature to him. But even with that, every time I pass him in the corridors, I clam up and feel like I am sitting in Potions again, waiting for him to yell at me."

"Se… Professor Snape is as complex a person you'll ever meet, Neville. He would kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but let me assure you, that man has a heart of gold when it comes to those he loves, and he will do anything to protect them. That day when I took you to Harry, you were traumatized and Severus knew that. He was worried about you for you, but he also was worried about how Harry would react to you. Throughout all of this, Harry has been concerned for you, Ron and Hermione; he didn't think it fair that the three of you would have to pretend he was dead. When Harry wanted to see you, Severus was worried that you would come across as being upset, therefore upsetting Harry. When Severus acted nice to you, that was not an act, that was the real person coming out, Neville."

"So he was being nice to me because of Harry, then. Why does he hate me so much, Professor?"

"Neville, you'll have to ask him about that. But, I think I can safely say that he never hated you. He is a good person; you should know that by the fact that Harry loves him. Severus loves Harry as well, Neville. I have never seen my friend so at peace with himself. I think you should talk to him; it would do the both of you a world of good. I shouldn't say anything further, but Neville, know that there are wounds that remain opened, and only you can close them properly. You remind him of a not so pleasant time in his life, but if you approach him about this, I can tell you that both of you will feel much better."

"I'll think about it, Professor. Thank you for the talk. I better get to my next lesson."

"Come to my office anytime, Neville. My door is always open."

**~*~**

Harry had finished his revision for the day and was bored. The first week of his being in hiding hadn't been so bad; the newness of being able to conjure whatever he wanted in the Room of Requirement had been fun and entertaining, but after a week, the novelty had worn off and was no longer there. For the last three weeks, Harry had been restless, and he knew he couldn't continue this much longer.

Severus's last class was almost over, and Harry was ecstatic. This loneliness that he was enduring day after day was beginning to take its toll on him and the prospect of seeing another human, especially Severus, made him giddy.

Harry heard the door creak, and immediately stood up, prepared to hex whatever might be lurking on the other side. Of course, it was Severus, and it took all of five seconds for Harry to run across the room and throw himself into his arms.

"Miss me, did you?" asked a grinning Severus as he removed a few strands of Harry's hair from his mouth.

"Uh huh."

Severus, with an attached Harry, went to sit on the sofa, and then Harry began kissing him all over his neck. Now this was the way to be greeted after a long day of insufferable ingrates. Severus sat back to give Harry more freedom.

"You don't know how lonely it gets sitting here all day long with no one else to talk to," Harry said in between kisses.

Severus pulled Harry up for a much needed kiss and melted into Harry's warm inviting mouth, then reluctantly pulled away. "Did you complete your lessons?"

"Yeah… did those straight away this morning."

Severus noticed how sad Harry looked and kissed him more deeply and passionately than before, causing Harry to moan. "I see. Have you forgotten that we have Ara? You can use her anytime you wish to talk to me, Harry, even if it is every five minutes. I don't like the idea of you becoming so maudlin when there is absolutely no need for it. I am but a thought away at any moment of the day, love."

Harry nodded and a small smile formed on his lips. He hadn't thought of Ara. If he really needed to talk to Severus, he usually just talked to him through their mind link, but he only did that if it were important. If Harry wanted to communicate with Severus on a more frequent basis, Ara would be less invasive and would allow Severus to retrieve Harry's thoughts when it was convenient for him. His small smile turned into a huge grin. Oh how he loved Severus.

"Harry, you're going to have to talk to me. I know you are lonely, but I sense that something else is bothering you, am I correct?"

Snuggling into Severus, his head resting against one of Severus's shoulders, Harry played with Severus's hair. "Yeah, but it's really nothing." Severus slightly shook his head and frowned, which made Harry realise he was being dishonest to Severus. Harry opened his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. After repeating this several times, he forced himself to speak. "I thought I'd feel different, Sev. I thought I'd feel relief with him gone, but all I can think about is that I killed him."

Ah yes. This. "Harry." Severus brought Harry's head up so their eyes met. Severus had wondered how Harry was dealing with the fact that he had killed Voldemort, and until a few days ago, the Gryffindor had been acting as if everything were normal. "Killing someone is never easy, or perhaps a more appropriate thing to say would be, it _should _never be easy."

"I see him when I try to sleep, Severus. It's like he won't leave me alone, like he knows he is still able to get to me. He'll never leave me alone, Sev, NEVER."

"He won't leave any of us alone, Harry. He is far too ingrained in our memories. For me, it's part of my penance; for you it is a reminder of how good can triumph over evil. Harry, you were not even aware that your thoughts would kill him. I thank Merlin they did."

"Yeah, me too. I know he needed to die, and I'm even glad he is… it's just that it was me who did it. I'd never thought of how it would feel to kill another person. No matter who he was, knowing that I killed him is weird. But I know he had to die, and it is good that he's gone."

Severus wasn't sure Harry believed what he was saying, and he knew Harry was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince him. Harry had been through so much in his seventeen years, but never had he faced the realisation of directly causing another's death, and as Severus was now seeing, Harry was having problems accepting it. It was going to take time, but Severus knew that Harry would eventually be able to accept what he had done.

**~*~**

"Arthur, so nice to see you. Sherbert Lemon?"

"No thank you, Albus."

"By the late hour, I am assuming your visit is urgent?"

"Oh yes, I believe urgent might be an understatement. Fudge knows something is being kept from him and is asking questions, very pointed questions."

"Such as?" Albus asked, knowing things were about to change.

"What would the Headmaster have to gain by faking Potter's death?"

"That pointed, hmm. And what did you say?"

"I told him that was not possible and that I could not fathom a reason why you would do such a thing."

"And he did not buy a word of it, I am assuming." Albus stood and walked to his window and looked out at the setting sun. "Well, we knew it would come out eventually, if not by Fudge's own reasoning, it would be because Harry refused to hide any longer. Arthur, there is something I think you should know."

"I had an idea you hadn't been completely forthcoming with me, Albus."

"Harry killed Voldemort." Albus trusted Arthur completely, and as well, he was almost certain he could trust Fudge and the Ministry, but if his assumptions were wrong, Albus was sending several people to their premature deaths. It was a large burden, but one Albus would take on willingly.

"You are protecting Harry, that I know and understand, but why the secrecy about his killing Voldemort?"

"Well, most importantly, we wanted to protect Harry, Arthur. It was a good story to deflect Death Eaters from pursuing him. But yes, you are correct: there is a larger reason for the deception." Albus cleared his throat and looked pointedly at Arthur. "I tell you this with the understanding that you will use your judgment before informing anyone else."

Arthur nodded; he knew whom Albus was referring.

"Severus and Harry are under _Substringo Infinitio_. Are you familiar with it?"

"Y… yes, Borzod?" Albus nodded. "Oh… he and Severus have new powers… strong powers, strong powers that killed Voldemort."

Albus was happy to know that he'd not have to enlighten Arthur as to the particulars of the bond. "Precisely. If anyone got hold of Harry, Severus, or both of them, they might be able to use them for good or bad. We think Voldemort might have figured it out, but another concern was the Ministry. Arthur, what do you sense is the mood surrounding this situation at the Ministry?"

"There is no need for us to protect Harry from the Ministry any longer, Albus. We have lost a rather large percentage of our employees over the last three years, but because of that, the Ministry is safe now. Fudge is not a problem. As you are aware, it was the people working around him that caused the uproar; many of them are now in Azkaban. Believe me, Albus, if I thought Harry's life were in danger, I would be the first one to advise you to keep him in hiding. Of course, there will always be those who are after him, but we cannot keep Harry hidden unless it is for a valid reason, and as I have said, the Ministry is safe. You have my personal guarantee."

"I am trusting you, Arthur. You know how I feel about Harry, and I know how you feel about him. I am placing his life in your hands. You do understand that, do you not?"

"I do, Albus. My wife and I love Harry as if he were our own son. When we first heard about Harry dying, before the two of us were told the truth, I thought Molly would never stop crying. I had never seen her as distraught as she was that day; she treats him as our eighth child. I would never put Harry in a dangerous situation, Albus. But, as I said earlier, we cannot keep him locked up just so he will be safe forever. That young man deserves to live as normal a life as possible, and I think the sooner the better.

Albus nodded in agreement. He wouldn't keep Harry hidden any longer, and he knew that Harry deserved to live out in the open, not in hiding. "We will have to come up with a reason for Harry's absence, but I think that can wait a few hours. We need to inform Harry and Severus of our talk."

Albus couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he saw Arthur raise an eyebrow. Albus nodded his head as he smiled. "Yes, they are together, Arthur, and might I say… I have never seen two people more perfect for each other."

"Is that for public knowledge, Albus?" Arthur asked, wondering how the wizarding world would react to their vaunted Harry Potter being the soul mate of a Death Eater (that he was a former death-eater wouldn't matter to most people).

"No, not yet. You get the rest of the Inner-circle in Ministry custody, then we can talk about this again. Until then it must remain between us. The staff knows, as well as Harry's close friends, but none of the students do."

Arthur nodded. "I won't say a word. Speaking of Death Eaters, Tonks says Rookwood and Parkinson were caught yesterday. That only leaves two others."

"Good. I believe that guarding against two Death Eaters as opposed to fifteen will give us some breathing room."

**~*~**

Harry was spending the evening with Sirius; the two hadn't spent much time together lately, and Severus knew that Harry missed talking with his godfather. As Severus made his way towards the dungeons, he couldn't help but give himself a self-deprecating snort as he thought about how far he and Sirius's relationship had come in a relatively short period-of-time, all thanks to Harry. It was difficult to describe his relationship with Sirius, but whatever it was, it pleased Harry, and Severus would do anything to please his Harry.

He was passing by the Great Hall when he saw a small figure sitting at one of the tables. There was a full moon; the light was filtering in through the windows, illuminating the tables in long strips of white. Severus wondered who would be sitting in the dark at this time of night, so he walked closer, careful not to give himself away. Standing almost directly behind the student, Severus realised it was Neville Longbottom.

Severus suddenly wished he hadn't come to see who it was.

Neville saw his former professor's reflection as he entered the Great Hall. He turned around and stared, startling his professor. Neville was nervous but knew he had to talk to this man who was standing before him, or else he was going to go crazy. This animosity between them had a reason, and Neville needed to know what that was, or confirm what he already thought he knew. He was no longer the scared and inept young boy of six years earlier, and it was time he proved that. He took a deep breath and tried to remember that the man didn't bite. That thought actually brought a smile to his face.

"The reason you didn't kill my parents that night was because of what happened to Harry's parents." It was spoken softly, but loudly enough so that Professor Snape could have no doubt of what Neville had said.

Severus had been looking at Neville, but turned away and nodded as he stared at the ceiling. "How did…" Then Severus turned back towards the boy and tried his best not to look too menacing.

"Professor Malfoy mentioned something to me a few weeks ago about him being under Imperius when he was forced to kill Hermione's parents. He told me he had been fighting the curse the entire time, but only when he was faced with killing Hermione had he been able to break free. He didn't talk much more about it, but he did say there was no worse crime than killing innocent children; he said he had learned that lesson twice from a very close friend. I knew he wasn't telling me this just to tell me, and it was obvious he was referring to me, but he had said children. Then I thought of Harry and knew it had to be him."

"A lot of good it did. I spared your parents' deaths, Neville, but they ended up worse off."

Oh no. Never that. Well, yes, at times he did think that his parents would have been better off to have been killed, but this was not one of those moments. Neville vociferously shook his head. "No, Professor, you're wrong. I love my parents more than you can imagine, and even if they don't know who I am, I know who they are. Some might say they would be better off having died that night, and at times, even I think that, but it's not true. I know they'll never be like they were before, but that doesn't matter to me as long as I can see them and tell them that I love them. It kills me to see them as they are, but it would be far worse if I were unable to ever see them, if they were in the ground somewhere where they were beyond my grasp. I can't imagine that, Professor. If it hadn't been for you, my parents would have been killed. I don't think you understand what that void would feel like. I can't imagine my parents not being here." Neville was a bit surprised at the passion with which he had talked; he rarely spoke about his parents, but he loved them. He didn't wish to see them as much as his grandmother wished for him to, but that in no way diminished the love he had for the two people who had given him life.

Severus sat down beside Neville and spoke in a low, but audible voice. "Neville, I understand about the void; I have the void. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think about how old my brothers would be or who my sisters would have married; I even think about my parents and how they would probably be grandparents by now. I would give anything to have them all alive, I truly would." And it was the truth. No matter how much Severus thought that he had hated his parents, he would give almost anything to have them with him again. "Neville, I don't hate you."

A tear rolled down Neville's face.

All Severus could do was give a curt nod. Sometimes he wished his tears would come, but they rarely did. "When you first came to Hogwarts, I was terrified of you finding out it was me who had sent your parents to St Mungo's. I was afraid you would approach me and ask questions. Thus, I did everything I could think of to deter you from wanting anything to do with me. Part of it, of course, was my being a spy for the Headmaster, but much of how I treated you was my conscious choice. I don't find any pleasure in knowing that I have caused a student such strife. I was cruel to you; there is no other word for it. I am sorry, Neville."

Apologies mattered. They didn't change anything that happened in the past, but they mattered. "Thank you, Professor Snape."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

**~*~**

Severus returned to his rooms after telling Lucius about his and Neville's talk to find Harry and Sirius playing chess. As happened most of the time, Harry was losing. He was a master of several things, chess not being among them. Severus had joked with him that Neville could probably beat him. To that, Harry had replied saying that was mean, and that of course, Neville would beat him.

Looking up when the door opened, Harry jumped up and sighed, a small smile forming. He tended to imagine the worst sorts of things happening to Severus – even knowing he was safe at Hogwarts was no consolation to Harry. "Where've you been? It's late." Harry then noticed how strained Severus looked and saw how tired he appeared. "What's wrong?"

"I just had a talk with Neville."

Sirius decided he ought to leave so Severus and Harry could talk. He stood. "I'm going to go, Harry. See you tomorrow."

After Sirius left, Harry went over to Severus, who was sitting on the sofa, and snuggled up to him. "So... how did it go?" Harry knew this had been a huge obstacle for both Severus and Neville.

"You'd have to ask him, Harry. I apologised, and he seemed receptive, but I don't know. I am not sure if I could be as forgiving of someone who treated me as badly as I've treated him."

"Sev, I know Neville fairly well and am sure that he forgave you as soon as you apologised. All he has ever wanted is acceptance. Sometimes I think he and I have more in common than me and Ron, or me and Hermione. He's sincere, Sev."

"I know. If anything, at least he doesn't have to act so scared around me now."

"Yeah... you did incite a bit of fear in him." Harry giggled; he had to lighten the mood. He snuggled deeper and grabbed onto Severus's robe and started playing with it "I missed you."

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry. "I missed you, too. Did you finish your essay for Arithmancy? That is what you were working on when I left."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, it was easy. Sev, I don't want to be a whiner, but I don't think I can take this any longer. I'm sorry you have to be the one to hear me complain day after day, but this really is getting to me. I miss you so much. Even when we had to hide and be careful before, I still saw you more than I do now. I'd rather take my chances with the Death Eaters than remain all day by myself, without you. Can you please talk to Professor Dumbledore and tell him that this isn't working? I know he's only protecting me as well as everyone else, you included, but for what? What if they never catch the others? Am I going to be conveniently hidden forever to ensure my safety? What good is being alive if I'm not being allowed to live?"

Severus could hear the emotion in Harry's voice and it made him want to hold him and never let him go. Very well, I'll talk to Albus."

"Talk to Albus about what?" asked a voice coming from the fireplace.

Severus and Harry looked at the fireplace and saw the head of the Headmaster peering through the flames. "Join us and we'll tell you," Severus said, wondering what the Headmaster needed to talk to them about.

"Very well. Arthur needs to talk to the two of you as well."

In the next second, Albus and Arthur both stepped out of the fireplace and sat in the chairs across from where Harry and Severus were sitting.

"How are you doing, Harry?" Arthur asked.

"I'd like to say fine, Mr Weasley, but I am bored and tired of being _dead_."

"Harry, Arthur has some news that I think you will like to hear," said Albus, whose blue eyes once again proffered a hint of their former twinkle.

Harry's eyes lit up and he looked at Mr Weasley expectantly.

"All but two of the inner-circle Death Eaters have been found and are currently sitting in the Ministry's holding cells waiting for their hearings. Albus and I agree that with only two of them still on the loose, it will be safe enough for you to come out of hiding. We cannot continue keeping you hidden just so you won't be hurt; you do deserve to live your life as normally as possible. The Ministry can adequately protect you and the others from two remaining Death Eaters and anyone else who might wish you ill-will. If we can't, then we have no business being in the positions we are."

Harry's rather somber expression quickly changed, and he now wore the widest grin Severus had ever seen.

"Are you serious? Just like that?" Harry was sure there had to be a catch somewhere.

"I am very serious; Harry, I think we all owe you an apology. What you were asked to do was not at all easy, and you have been most understanding, more so than most people would be under these circumstances."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I didn't really have a choice, did I? I knew by my being hidden, that all of us would be safe, so I did it willingly. What are you going to say to the students about me suddenly reappearing?"

"We'll discuss that later, Harry, I only wanted to let you know that within the week, you will be allowed to resume your life as normal."

Thank Merlin! Harry couldn't wait to be _un-dead_. "Thank you, Mr Weasley."

Arthur nodded. "I think we should be thanking you, Harry. Thanks to you, we don't have to worry about Voldemort again."

Harry and Severus's eyes went wide and they both looked at the Headmaster.

"Arthur assured me the Ministry is going to be fine with this."

That didn't reassure Severus, but for now, Harry was happy, and they could deal with the other matters later. Honestly, though, what had Albus been thinking, to tell Arthur, who worked at the Ministry, about Harry's role in the Dark Lord's death?

Arthur could see the doubt, and he couldn't blame Severus. "Severus, I can assure you that Harry is safe, as well as you. I will not be saying anything about you two, but even when everyone finds out what the two of you possess, the Ministry will only want to ensure both of your safety, and nothing more. I would never endanger Harry. He is a member of my family, and now I guess you are as well. As long as it is in my power, Harry will have the best protection available. Just because we are bringing him out of hiding does not mean he will be without protection. He is no doubt still being sought."

Arthur then turned to Harry. "It is only a matter of time before the Death Eaters begin putting two and two together and realise that you killed Voldemort. When that happens, it is probable that even if all of the major inner-circle Death Eaters are caught, others will be looking to secure a high position within the ranks. Even with Voldemort gone, there will be others who want to take his place, and being the one to capture _The Boy Who Lived_, would probably more than likely ensure them that power."

Severus couldn't believe it. Absolutely, he could not believe that Arthur had said what he had. Glares pointed at unseeing eyes were quite meaningless, but that had never stopped Severus in the past, and it wasn't stopping him now. If Arthur really knew Harry, he would have stopped with his incessant narrative about the _Death Eaters_, but he unfortunately did not know Harry well enough to know that Harry would internalize what had just been said and silently blame himself. Severus, however, did know, and any feelings of relief and joy that had briefly appeared were quickly replaced by ones of worry. He could already see the worry, and that beautiful smile that he saw so little of these days, was already gone.

Harry had been feeling giddy. Knowing that within the next seven days, he would be allowed to walk the corridors again freely and attend classes with his friends had raised his spirits tremendously. But, just as quickly, those feelings of euphoria had been replaced by more worry. No matter what, Harry would always be the cause of worry, and he hated that.

Forcing a smile, Severus cleared his throat. "Thank you, Arthur. I for one will be quite happy to have Harry back among his peers."

"Well, gentlemen, If you'll excuse me, my wife made me promise to be home at a descent hour tonight, and I do not want to disappoint her," Arthur said, noticing how tense Severus seemed. Arthur wondered why.

"Please tell Mrs Weasley I said hi, and thanks for the biscuits she sent."

"I'll do that, Harry." After they all shook hands, Arthur left.

"I think it is time for me to retire also. Harry," Albus said as he stood. "I don't want you to worry about what Arthur said. I told him to be straight forward with you against my better judgment, only because you do deserve to know what is happening; it is your life, after all."

"Thanks, Headmaster. I guess I'll never have real freedom, but as long as I am told what's going on, that is fine. I just don't like people knowing more about me than I do."

"That's understandable, young Harry. We were wrong in the past to not be honest with you, but I can promise you from now on that you will know everything that you should know. Well Harry, Severus, I wish you both a good night." With a pop, the wizened man Flooed away.

Harry looked over at Severus and gave a half smile. "It'll never be over, will it?"

Severus walked to Harry and embraced Harry as tightly as he could without hurting him. "No, love, I'm afraid not. There is always going to be someone out there who thinks they need to be the one to finally bring in the great Harry Potter. I wish more than anything that I could protect you from everything, but I can't. Arthur is right; we can't keep you locked away from danger. You deserve to live your life just as everyone else does. I'm sorry that I was one of those who wanted to keep you hidden away."

"I never wanted to be hidden away, Severus, but you have nothing to be sorry about. It means a lot to me that you love me enough to want to protect me. I would do anything in my power to protect you, so how can I get upset with you for doing the same?"

Severus took Harry's hands and wrapped them in his own. "We'll get through this, Harry. I don't know what the future holds for either of us, and as I told you the morning of your birthday, none of us knows what will happen and I won't make promises I can't keep, but I promise you here and now that I will do whatever it takes to protect you. Of that, have no doubt."

Harry knew what Severus said to be the truth, and that scared him more than anything. He knew there would be dangerous situations ahead. With him, danger never lagged far behind. If anything happened to Severus, Harry would be lost. He had finally found what he had been searching for his entire life, and he knew if he ever lost it, it would kill him. "Just promise me you won't go doing anything stupid like getting yourself killed." Harry looked into Severus's eyes and saw sadness. He knew Severus couldn't make that promise and he knew it had been unfair to ask it, but he was desperate to hang on to Severus. Harry felt a tear fall and reached up to wipe it away, but Severus stilled his hand and wiped it away himself before placing a soft kiss on Harry's lips.

"Harry, I would do anything for you: move heaven and earth if I could, but please do not ask me to promise you what you want me to. You have all of me; all that I am is yours, but knowing I would die for you is something I do not think I want to ever give up. You can't ask me to do that, you just can't."

Harry's heart broke; he suddenly felt so very alone. He had been exceedingly happy only minutes earlier when he'd found out his days in hiding were almost over. Now he just felt empty. He was being held in the arms of Severus and he felt safe and secure. He wanted him and Severus to remain that way forever, but they couldn't and Harry knew it. Just as Severus was having to accept the fact that Harry couldn't be protected by hiding him away, Harry knew that he couldn't protect Severus by asking him to make unrealistic promises. Severus was a man of honour, and he would do anything to protect the one he loved. Harry then remembered someone else who had done whatever had to be done to save him: his mother. She had sacrificed herself so that Harry could live, so that Harry could grow up, so that Harry could defeat Voldemort as the prophecy said, and so that Harry could meet his soul mate and lover… again.

It was amazing what thinking about his mum could do. Harry was no longer sad. He remembered next to nothing about her, but that didn't matter. All he needed to know was that he had been loved, and he knew that. Thanks to his godfather and Severus, he knew that his mum and dad had loved him, and that that love was going to live within him forever.

Although he would never feel secure knowing Severus couldn't give him that promise, he now knew what true love was; to him it was the ultimate sacrifice.

**~*~**

The next few days went by in a haze. Harry was happy, yet he was nervous. What would the students think of him suddenly reappearing? The Headmaster had told Harry what his story would be earlier, and much to his great surprise, it was the truth, albeit maybe without a few of the details. The students would be told that Death Eaters had kidnapped Harry and had left him to die, and, to protect him from the Death Eaters and _He Who Must Not Be Named_, Harry went into hiding and was declared dead.

Since it was the truth, Harry had no qualms about the story. The Headmaster was going to warn the students against asking Harry questions. They would be assigned detention or worse if they bothered Harry. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but it couldn't be any more difficult than being segregated from the rest of the student body for a month.

**~*~**

Albus cleared his throat when the tables seemed to be completely filled with hungry students waiting for their breakfast. After gaining the attention of the student body, Albus proceeded to tell everyone what had happened to Harry and why. The way Albus was talking, it was as if Harry had simply gone away for a while and had returned. The Headmaster had always been one for theatrics, so it was funny and unusual hearing him being so direct and to the point about this.

Harry could hear the Headmaster's every word from his vantage-point behind the side door, which led into the Great Hall, and heard the nervousness in the older man's voice. No matter how much everyone tried to convince him that this – his reemergence into the world of the living – was going to go smoothly, Harry knew it wasn't to be; he knew there was danger, and he had to accept it.

Before he knew it, Harry heard his name. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"_Are you ready, Love?"_

_"I think so."_

_"Love you, Harry."_

_"Love you, Sev, and thank you, for everything."_

Harry slowly walked through the door that the Headmaster was holding open, and immediately went to sit in his usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Harry felt every eye on him and it made him uncomfortable. He hadn't wanted to be reintroduced to everyone like this, but there really had been no other way. Harry glanced to each side and smiled as he saw his two best friends, and nodded before turning back to his plate. It was without doubt the most awkward he had ever felt in his life. He felt as if he were on display in a cage.

**~*~**

"Harry, can we talk?"

"Yeah, come in."

Sirius embraced his godson and ruffled his head "It's good to see you smile again, Harry."

"That's what Severus said; was I really that bad?"

"I had never seen you that down before, not even when... just never."

"You can say his name, you know, you had never seen me that down, not even when Cedric was killed." Sirius nodded. "It was lonely, Sirius. I missed everyone. I even missed going to lessons."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me, I know about lonely, myself. You can't imagine how much I missed you when you thought I was dead."

"But you're not dead. You're here now and that's all that matters."

Sirius nodded. "You have a lot of people who care for you, I hope you know that, Harry."

"Yeah, I do."

"Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I think it is time I tell you something, and I will ask that you please not interrupt me until I finish, okay?" Harry nodded with a puzzled look on his face.

"Sixteen years ago I was framed and sent to Azkaban for betraying your parents. Of course we all know it was Peter now, but at the time, everyone thought me the guilty party, one more than any other." Sirius could tell Harry knew whom he was talking about.

"Not long after I was imprisoned, Severus was brought in for questioning by Arthur Weasley. Arthur was new to the Ministry but he was one of their most promising young talents. Usually any questioning is done at the Ministry, but for some reason, Severus was brought to Azkaban. As I was a new prisoner, my cell was near the offices. For some reason that day, they were not as careful with security as they usually were, and left a door open that gave me a straight-forward view of Severus being questioned. I could not hear the questions clearly, but I heard bits and pieces. But it's not what I heard that is important. Harry, Severus was crying; I am not talking a few tears. He was devastated. I knew he was being brought in that day, not as a suspect, but as a possible witness in James's and Lily's deaths.

"I couldn't imagine why he would be crying. Mind you, I thought he was working for Voldemort and thought his living with James and Lily had been a front. I had tried to tell Lily and James this, but they just scoffed and said I was wrong. Anyway, for some reason, I just could never get that image out of my head of Severus crying. It didn't make sense.

"A few days later, I heard some of the Ministry officials who had congregated outside one of the offices talking, and one of them asked the others if they knew why Severus Snape would have been repeating the name Harry over and over. Of course, they had to have known that Severus had lived with your parents, but they seemed as baffled as I was.

"Harry, Severus has always cared for you; he has always loved you. I just thought you needed to know how much you mean to him. And not just as his lover. I think he would be lost without Harry James Potter, the individual. Being in Azkaban for twelve years, I had forgotten that memory of Severus, but the other night I had a dream and it all came back to me, and I knew I needed to share what I remembered with you. He was lost without you then, and he would be lost without you now."

Harry sat there looking at his godfather with a steady stream of tears coursing down his cheeks. Harry had known that Severus had been upset when he'd been taken away – Severus had told him as much – but to hear it from Sirius, who by all accounts had hated Severus, it meant everything.

"Thanks, Sirius, it means a lot that you would tell me this."

"I know he and I have not exactly got on well with one another, and that is a gross understatement, but I knew then that whatever was causing his grief was real; he was desolate. And now that the two of you are together, you need to know it's always been you, Harry. He's always loved you. I know I sound all sentimental and sappy here, but you need to know that Severus really and truly loves you."

Yes, Harry did think Sirius was being a bit sentimental and sappy, but that is why he loved his godfather so much. Sirius had probably spent more time during the day with him while he was in hiding than Severus, and had seen his mood swings and had listened to his constant doubts about him and Severus. Harry had said that Severus deserved someone more mature then him. "I do, Sirius. It's hard to explain, but I think I always knew he loved me. I can't even begin to tell you what I mean, but I think I always knew."

"I'm sure you did. There was no way Severus could deny his love for you, ever, even when he treated you so horribly. Personally, I am still having difficulty with that aspect. It disturbs me that he could have been so mean to you..." Harry put up his hand, and Sirius knew he had gone too far.

"You know, Sirius, I don't want to think about that, okay? That's in the past, and I'd rather forget it because yeah... it wasn't a happy time for me. It still bothers me as well, and I just can't think about everything he said to me."

"Sorry. Look, kiddo, I'm here for you any time you need to talk, okay?" Harry slowly nodded. "You mean the world to me, Harry, you really do, and I want you to be happy, not sad. You have someone who loves you and you love him. You are so worried about the future that you are not living in the present. I know Severus has told you this, but I will tell you again: None of us know what is going to happen tomorrow. Harry, love, go to Severus, love him and let him love you, and let that be enough for now. Don't let this moment pass you by. You might not get it back."

Harry heard Sirius's voice crack and knew he spoke from experience.

**~*~**

"Hi, Neville, are you busy?"

"Nope, just finishing up my Transfiguration essay. Your godfather is really cool, Harry."

"Yeah... he is."

"So how is it being back in lessons again with everyone?"

"It's going good. I still get stared at, but then again, I always got stared at before. Er... can I ask you a question, Neville?"

"'Course, Harry."

"When Severus told you why he treated you as he did, did you forgive him?"

"Yes, I did."

"But does it bother you that he treated you that way, even though he had a reason?"

"Yeah... of course it does. No one wants to be treated that way, Harry. But he apologized. What more can he do?"

What more indeed. "You're right."

"Harry, you're not still upset with him about how he treated you, are you? I thought you and he were together."

"Yeah, we are. I don't know, Neville, it's just that I don't know how you can love someone so much yet treat them so badly." Harry didn't know why he was telling Neville this, but he felt comfortable around him.

"Harry, you don't doubt his love for you, do you? You doubt your ability to fully love him, is that how it is?" Harry looked wide-eyed at Neville.

"Er... how did you get that from what I said?" Harry asked, unbelievingly.

"Come on, Harry, I wasn't born yesterday. It is so obvious Professor Snape loves you..." Harry mouthed Severus. "Okay... okay, Severus... Severus loves you, Harry. He LOVES you. I don't know where this doubt of yours is coming from, but let it go. The man is crazy about you; if someone looked at me the way he looks at you, oh Harry... I would melt."

"Bugger. No one can know, Neville, no one. Are we that obvious?"

"Not around everyone, just when you, Hermione, Ron, and I are with Professors' Black, and Malfoy and Pr... Severus." Neville couldn't say Snape's name without stuttering, but Harry didn't like it when anyone used _professor_ in his presence, so he forced himself to say _Severus_ when Harry was around.

"Are you sure? I mean, like at meals is there anything that you can see that is different than in the past?"

"Nope, he seems as hateful as ever, and you seem just the same as you always were before."

"Good. That's the last thing we need: for all the little Death Eaters to know about Severus and me."

"Don't worry, they don't have a clue."

"Thanks, Neville."

"Anytime, Harry. And remember what I said. You have it really good, mate. Don't let him get away."

Harry grinned. "I won't, thanks."

**~*~**

Eventually, the constant murmurs when Harry walked by a group of girls, ceased, and eventually things returned to normal, or at least as normal as things could get for Harry. His days were spent in lessons, afternoons with his friends, and nights with Severus. Harry had never been happier. His brief indecision about his feelings for Severus hadn't lasted long thanks to his godfather, Neville, and most of all, Severus, who had known something was bothering him and had made him talk. Harry had been reluctant, but eventually he had told Severus everything: his doubts of Severus's love for him, his doubts about his being able to love Severus, and his doubts about him being worthy of another's love.

Severus had been patient and they had talked through the night, both sharing with the other why they feared the love of another so much. By the next morning, there had been no doubt the two were both over any doubts they may have had.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

It was five days before Christmas break was to begin and all of the students were excited about the prospect of returning home in a few short days. Hogwarts was as festive as ever: giant trees, lights, and Mistletoe decorating almost every room. And, of course, the Headmaster could be seen and heard humming a verse from his favorite Christmas carol, which was always something different when he was asked what he was humming at that particular moment.

It had been a stressful term, and no one was more relieved about it being nearly over than the young wizard everyone in the wizarding world knew as Harry Potter. The Gryffindor had been through more than his share of turmoil since June, but thankfully, over the past two months, Harry had enjoyed a peaceful existence with Severus without anything of major significance happening.

He had enjoyed every moment he was able to spend with Severus because he fully expected the current interlude not to last. He had never been allowed happiness and peace, so why should he be allowed it now?

**~*~**

Waking, Harry noticed Severus was still sleeping soundly, so he studied the stern-looking Severus Snape. Sleep perhaps made him appear less angry, but he was never going to look peaceful – that was a fact Harry would never be able to change.

It was almost impossible to believe how vastly Harry's life had changed in less than a year. He had lost his godfather, then discovered he was alive; had met his soul mate; had killed Voldemort; had witnessed one of his fellow classmates being killed, and he had watched one of his godfather's closest friends meet the same tragic end. Yes, Harry had been through quite an ordeal during the past year, but he knew he wasn't the only one. He was thankful he had Severus; without him, Harry would have been gone long ago, he wouldn't deny that fact to himself, and he knew that Severus was aware of that as well.

Harry saw Severus stirring and smiled when he opened his eyes.

Severus looked at Harry and smiled a genuine smile as he gently brushed his lips across his beautiful young soul mate's lips. "I need to ask you a question," he then said, his voice soft with sleep. "I know you have six months until you leave Hogwarts, but I was wondering if you would possibly consider officially bonding with me this summer? We are already bonded, but this would make us _official_." Severus was most serious, but when Harry's reaction happened – the patented Harry grin, teeth showing and eyes barely visible – Severus let out a laugh. Oh how he loved his Harry.

Harry didn't have to think for an answer. "YES. YES. YES!"

Severus kissed Harry on the nose and the two began laughing as they took turns kissing each other. "You're sure about this? You know I'm not at all easy to live with."

"Sev, I said, Y.E.S, Yes. I want to bond with you; I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care how irascible you are. Can I make it any clearer that I want this?"

"No, that won't be necessary, but if we don't get ready for the day, it will be necessary for us to explain why we were late, and I would prefer this to remain between you and me for now. I do not want to share any more of you than I already have to. Oh, and five points to Gryffindor for your word usage." Severus ducked his head when Harry grabbed his pillow and aimed it for his head.

**~*~**

Later that afternoon, when Harry had a break, he found Severus busy marking papers in his office. He didn't want to disturb the busy looking Deputy Headmaster, but he wouldn't be able to see him again before the dueling club, so he knocked on the door softly. Severus opened the door and beckoned Harry to him.

Harry walked to where Severus was sitting and sat on his lap. In response, Severus pulled Harry closer to him, kissed him ever so briefly, then opened the top drawer of his desk, took out a small package and handed it to Harry, who looked questioningly at him. Severus nodded, and held his breath, hoping he hadn't acted too hastily. He watched as Harry slowly unwrapped the small package, then as Harry looked at him before opening the box. Harry's hands were shaking, so Severus covered them with his and tilted Harry's face so they were looking at one another. "Don't be nervous. I'm here."

After nodding, Harry slowly opened the box and found a smaller green velvet covered box. Again he looked at Severus and again he was encouraged to open it. Harry's hands were now shaking again as he opened the box, and he gasped when he saw the contents. He reached in and carefully withdrew a pair of gold rings, one of which said Sev and the other one, Harry. He opened his mouth as he felt his eyes begin to burn with the need for tears, but no words came forth.

Severus took the ring that had Sev engraved on it, slipped it on Harry's finger, and then kissed him. Harry wordlessly took the other ring and did the same to Severus.

"These are our bonding rings, Harry, but I want us to wear them now; I feel as if we are already bonded in every way. In my eyes we were wed the day that we first made love. Will you wear my ring?"

"I would be honoured to wear your ring, Sev. Will you wear my ring?" Harry asked, his voice now filled with the emotion that had been needing release.

"I would be honoured to wear your ring, Harry," Severus answered as he wiped Harry's tears. "I have placed Invisibility Charms on them, so they will not be seen by anyone unless we wish them to."

Harry glanced down at his ring and smiled. "Why did you have Sev engraved instead of Severus?"

"Because I have never been Severus to you, Harry… it's always been Sev."

There was so much to say in response to that, but Harry wanted action rather than words, so he decided to change the subject before things became too heated. "So what are we learning tonight in the dueling club, my future husband, Sev?"

Severus smiled: His Harry always knew when things were becoming too heavy, and could always be counted on to change the subject in order to lighten the mood. "Nothing new. We're going to review everything you have been taught thus far, and I thought we could have some demonstrations between the students." Severus held Harry's gaze a few seconds, then nodded. Yes, Harry would be one of the students he called on to show their skills. Not that he was giving preferential treatment, or anything of the such. Harry just so happened to be the best student in the lot.

"Better be careful, Severus; the students might think you like me or something." Harry rolled his eyes as he reluctantly extricated himself from Severus's lap.

Indeed. "Or something…" Severus said, then he watched Harry gather his bag and as he stopped in the process to admire the ring. How had it come to pass that this was his life? No matter how many times Severus asked that question, he knew he would ask it again. There would never be an answer, and perhaps it was best that there wouldn't be one. "I might be a few minutes late to the meeting tonight. Albus needs to speak to me after we eat."

"Okay. Well, I better get upstairs before Ron and Hermione start scouring the castle looking for me. Love you, Sev, my future husband!" Harry mouthed the words _thank you_ as he approached Severus and placed his ring over the other man's heart.

**~*~**

Harry found Hermione in the Great Hall. "Hey, Hermione, where's Ron?"

"He was talking to Neville and said he would meet us later."

Harry and Hermione took their seats and began serving their plates. Harry could hear the excitement in the air about the upcoming holidays and, for once, he was actually looking forward to them as well. He and Severus would be spending their first Christmas together, which filled Harry with such joy. He hadn't been allowed to leave the grounds of Hogwarts, but had found the perfect gift for Severus, and through Sirius, had purchased it. He couldn't wait to see the look on Severus's face when he opened it.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Ron and Neville sitting down. Neville looked happy for a change, and Harry was glad. So much had been happening that he hadn't realised all that Neville had been going through. When Severus had told him about Neville's parents worsening, and about his grandmother's insistence on taking Neville to see them on an almost daily basis, Harry had felt badly that he hadn't realised his friend had been so distressed. But, whatever had happened today must have been good, and for Neville, Harry was relieved.

He then glanced up at the High Table and saw Professor Malfoy looking in Neville's direction with a look of relief on his face. Harry then looked at Severus, who just so happened to be staring back at him. Usually, Harry would quickly look away, but not this time. He was transfixed. Eventually, however, his reverie was broken and he forced himself to turn his head back towards Hermione, who had begun talking.

After supper, Sirius came up to him and asked if they could talk. After telling his friends he would see them at the dueling club, he joined Sirius at the High Table. The Great Hall was empty now, except for the two of them. Sirius looked distressed and Harry almost allowed himself a moment of panic, but no. Severus had told him to stop thinking everything that happened had to be bad. Harry was trying to heed those words, really he was, but it wasn't as easy as it probably should be.

"I don't know how to tell you this other than just to come out with it, Harry: I'm not going to be here for Christmas," Sirius said, his eyes darting around the room as if he were afraid to look at Harry.

So he had been right to worry. This was bad news. "What? You can't leave, Sirius. This was supposed to be a family Christmas: you, me, Severus, Lucius, Ron, Hermione and Neville. What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Harry, I just don't think I can do this: be here with everyone and act all happy. I just need to get away for a few days. Memories are just too hurtful"

Oh. Yes. That. Harry nodded in understanding, but had a determined look on his face. "You will not do this, Sirius, I won't let you. Merlin, I know you miss him, but I miss him too. And don't forget that Lucius lost his son this summer. He is going to be missing him very much, but he isn't leaving. Sirius, you can't run away from it; he'll never be here for Christmas again, or for anything else, at least not in person, but he'll always be with you, and with me, and with everyone who wants him with them."

"Harry, you don't understand, I don't even understand."

Oh yes Harry did understand. "Sirius, give me some credit, please. I have eyes, I have always had eyes… I noticed things. Don't think I didn't. I know it is all screwed up now, you finding out you and Remus were half-brothers, but that doesn't change the fact that you loved him, and you know, I think he loved you too, he just didn't know how to say it."

"I did love him, Harry, more than I ever admitted to myself, until he was gone."

"But…you will stay for Christmas, yeah?" Harry decided the best way to deal with Remus was to ignore him for now. They could talk about him later, but for now he had to make Sirius promise to stay. He gave his godfather the saddest look he could muster and then broke out in a huge smile, trying to make Sirius do the same.

"Yeah… I'll… stay, for you, Harry. I love you, kiddo."

"Love you too, Sirius." Happy that he had got his way, Harry smirked. Yes, Severus had been right: Sirius would do anything for his godson.

**~*~**

Severus, Lucius, and Sirius entered the Great Hall and were greeted by thirty faces looking happy and expectant; it must be the end of the term excitement, Severus thought, because there was little chance that these students were excited about a dueling club meeting. But then he remembered telling Harry about what they would be doing for their final meeting of the year and surmised that his husband to be had more than likely told everyone else. If anyone could get these students excited, it was Harry.

"Gather round close, everyone." Sirius said as he stepped up onto the platform. He had been the one of the three who had identified most with the students. Not only was he a good teacher, he was empathetic to the plights of the young students, and always had an encouraging word or two or three for anyone who needed it. He remembered what it had been like to be a student, and did everything he could to help his students if he could, in class as well as in the dueling club.

"As I'm sure you have all been told," Sirius grinned at Harry, "we will be pairing you up this evening to see what you have learned. Each of you has shown tremendous improvement over the last four months. I am so very pleased with each of you for being as dedicated as you have been. You all should be very proud of what you have achieved." Sirius smiled at the group congregated in front of him and then stepped down as Severus stepped up to take his place.

Severus looked out over the group and saw the looks of anticipation. He hadn't expected much to come from having this club, but the students had surprised him immensely; they were always attentive, and had seemed eager to learn the dueling techniques they were being taught.

"This evening I wish to find out what you can do with what you have been taught. I will be calling two names at a time. When your names are called, you will step up onto the platform, then duel. You each know the steps involved – now is the time to show us what you can do. Treat this as an actual duel: I want to see proper etiquette, and if at any point after you begin, you are not following proper technique, I will stop you immediately and you will be asked to repeat the steps. I do not think I need to go over the dueling club do's and don'ts; you all know what is acceptable and what is not. I know I need not repeat myself since this is the final meeting of this term, but illegal curses will result in your immediate expulsion from not only the dueling club, but from Hogwarts as well."

The students all nodded their understanding; it was unlikely anyone would dare disobey the formidable Potions master; the man was bad enough to deal with in class, there was no need to get the professor known as 'The Greasy Git' mad at them in dueling as well.

"First up are Granger and Parkinson."

Hermione and Pansy walked onto the platform their professor had just stepped down from, bowed to each other, then walked in opposite directions from each other until the count of ten. Then the two turned around and said their curses almost at the exact same time.

Pansy yelled Conturbo Animus as Hermione yelled out Corpus Contigo.

Pansy knew her chosen curse was a good one; it would cause Hermione to immediately become disoriented and confused and would render the Gryffindor useless.

Hermione had chosen to defend instead of acting offensively. She had erected a protective shield around her body to block against whatever Pansy chose to throw at her.

When Pansy's curse met with the protective barrier Hermione had placed around her, a large blue light was emitted from the arc.

Both girls looked at the professors to see what they thought. Pansy was unhappy; she didn't think it was fair; they had been told to duel, and to her, that meant offensively.

Severus stepped up onto the platform and took down the shield that was still glowing around Hermione. "Well done, Miss Granger." Severus then turned to Pansy. "Miss Parkinson, you chose a very effective curse, one which, I believe would be most effective against almost anyone. However, nothing will be able to penetrate through the strong shield Miss Granger placed around herself."

Severus then looked out at the other students. "As you have just witnessed, dueling is not all about being on the offensive; in fact, I would say it is very much about defensive strategies.

"Having said that, if you are going to take the defensive approach, you better make sure you are quicker than your opponent; if not, then you could find yourself in a rather precarious situation. Miss Granger has extremely quick reflexes; she has proven that time and time again. Both of you did very well; you may return to your seats, thank you."

Pansy threw Hermione a quick scowl, which the Gryffindor chose to ignore. Severus witnessed what had taken place, and under normal circumstances, he would not allow such an action to go unpunished. Dueling was a serious undertaking, and just as he would not tolerate anything less than his students' complete attention and obedience in his Potions classes, he demanded the same of his dueling club members. But, Severus had proposed to Harry and his young lover had accepted, therefore the usually harsh professor was in a very good mood and felt charitable; he would allow Pansy's failure to adhere to proper etiquette to go unchecked, for now. He would, however, confront the disgruntled Miss Parkinson and have a few words with her after the meeting adjourned.

Severus looked at his parchment. "Next up is Potter and Longbottom."

In previous years, this pairing would have seemed grossly unfair, but that was no longer the case. Neville had improved beyond anyone's expectations because of Harry's DA classes, and the Dueling Club had sharpened his skills further.

Neville and Harry approached the platform and stepped up as their professor stepped off. Once Professor Snape was in position to witness their duel, the two bowed to one another then began their walk away from one another before beginning their approach.

Lucius looked at Neville and froze: a feeling of immense fear overtook his body as he slowly watched the young man who he had mentored for the last four months. Something was not right. He began sweating as he approached the platform, and noticed that Severus was also approaching the platform looking towards Harry with a look of pure terror on his face. Lucius saw Severus open his mouth but nothing came out. Lucius began running, as did Severus.

Nothing could happen to either Harry or Neville.

The students must have sensed something was amiss, but Lucius couldn't hear anything; he could only see Neville getting nearer his destination, which was Harry. Lucius swallowed. This was what it had all come down to. This was why… He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. He briefly closed his eyes, then opened them and took a deep breath. His and Serverus's eyes met for a brief moment, and that was all Lucius needed.

"I'm coming, Draco," he said, but it was doubtful anyone heard his words.

Panicked that he would be too late, he looked at Harry, then Severus again. Harry would usually be safe from the Killing Curse, but Lucius wasn't sure about Severus. Regardless, Lucius knew that the young Gryffindor had been through so much over the past few months that it probably wouldn't take much to push him over the edge. It was likely a stunning curse that hit the boy in the right place would kill him at this point in time. If Harry were killed, there was little doubt that Severus would soon follow. If the bond didn't kill him, then Severus would do it himself.

His body now trembling and his breathing erratic, Lucius next looked at Neville, and his heart began to ache: the boy had no idea what he was doing: it wasn't Neville Longbottom controlling his movements, yet it was his body, and Lucius knew that Neville would never forgive himself if anything happened to Harry because of his actions.

Six, Seven, Eight…

Nine…

Ten…

Just as Lucius reached the platform, Neville whirled around and shouted, "Avada Kedavra."

Hermione looked around her and screamed, then she stood up and began running towards the platform where Harry was lying, and soon everyone in the room was screaming and crying. Ron ran to Hermione and tried to hold her back, but he was almost as despondent as the young witch. He called out Harry's name a few times, then looked over to where Sirius had been standing, but he was no longer there. Ron looked back at Harry and shook his head. No, Harry was not dead; he couldn't be dead.

The Headmaster entered and immediately sent the students, including Hermione and Ron, out with Professor Flitwick, who had entered the Great Hall with him. Hermione didn't go without a fight, but go she did.

Albus turned around as he heard someone crying, and witnessed Sirius kneeling by the still form of a student. When the Headmaster neared, he gasped: it was Harry. _No._

He then noticed Lucius Malfoy's body lying motionless almost immediately in front of Neville, but his body was almost completely off the platform. Albus had to sit on the platform when he saw the still figure of Severus lying almost directly on top of Harry. _No._

"Sonorus. **Poppy… Great Hall… Now**!"

Albus first went to Lucius. He lifted a limp arm and checked for a pulse, but found none, but he'd known that he wouldn't – Lucius had taken the brunt of the curse. Sadly, there was nothing to be done for him, so Albus left Lucius's body and went to an ashen Neville, who was breathing, but barely. About that time, Poppy ran in and gasped. Albus motioned her over and shook his head as he scanned the room. Minutes earlier the only thing these children had been thinking about was that they would be leaving for a fortnight in a few days. Their lives would never be the same, for now they had witnessed death. A touch to his shoulder brought him out of his reverie and he was grateful for Poppy's calming presense.

"Poppy, take Mr Longbottom to the hospital wing; Sirius and I will bring Severus and Harry." Albus looked towards Sirius, who had Harry, then he looked back at Poppy. "You'll need to prepare something for Sirius as well; I fear he is going to be in need of a strong calming potion. I know I can count on you for that." Poppy nodded, then left with Neville.

Sirius walked over and handed the much-too-light Harry to Albus, then picked up Severus, who had a weak pulse, as carefully as he could. _You cannot die on me, do you hear me, Severus? Harry loves you and I will not lose either him or you. Do not do this to me, Severus. Do not die on me. "_You must live, Severus."

Albus and Sirius made their way to the hospital wing and placed Harry and Severus in beds beside the one where Neville was.

Albus looked at Sirius. "What happened?"

The Gryffindor Head of House shook his head. He had no idea. It had happened so fast. Oh Merlin, no, Harry could not die. With a shaky voice, he tried to answer. "They were going to duel – Harry and Neville – we were testing the students to see what they had learned. They bowed and were walking away from each other, then I saw Lucius and Severus both running for the platform with looks of horror on their faces. I didn't even have time to wonder why they were doing that because then, just as Neville… oh my Merlin, Neville…" Sirius stopped what he was saying and closed his eyes as the reality of what must have happened hit him. They had talked about this for the past few months, and Arthur had been saying, just the other day, how Hogwarts seemed to have escaped the use of this particular Unforgivable. They had spoken too soon, hadn't they? Sirius re-opened his eyes and looked down at Harry before returning his attention to Albus. "Sorry, Then Neville said Avada Kedavra, Lucius stepped in front of Neville, and Severus, in front of Harry. Then there was this tremendous burst of green light, and all I could hear were screams coming from the students. It all happened so fast, Albus."

Sirius sat on the bed beside Harry, but Poppy made him move so she could examine Harry more thoroughly. He reluctantly sat down in a chair by the bed, then he began to cry. He looked up at Poppy when she finished examining him. "Is he?"

Poppy smiled her motherly, matronly smile, reached out and put a hand on Sirius's shoulder, and shook her head. "No, Sirius, Harry is not dead, nor will he die tonight, at least not from the curse. Lucius took the Killing Curse for Harry. Your godson did receive a rather nasty injury from what did hit him, but he should recover; he might not regain consciousness for a day or so, however, because of his weakened state."

Sirius looked down at Harry, took one of the pale hands in his, and squeezed it as he tried to smile.

Albus was sitting by Severus and looked expectantly at Poppy, who looked at him and gave a halfhearted smile.

"Yes, Severus, too will be fine once he wakes. They both received enough from the curse to cause them harm, but not enough to kill them. It is unlikely either would have died even if they had received the full brunt of the curse. Since Harry already survived it once, it is likely his immunity would have been absorbed by Severus as well because of them being soul mates."

"What about Neville?" Sirius asked as he looked over at the boy who, like Harry, had lost so much. Sirius was having a hard time digesting all that had taken place.

"I believe he will be fine as well. Whoever placed him under Imperius must have placed another curse on him, because he shouldn't have had any ill effects from sending the curse. He seems to be breathing normally now. We'll just have to monitor him and see how he progresses."

Sirius turned to Albus. "How could this have happened? Lucius and I discussed this very thing today, the possibility of someone from the outside using _Imperius _on a student. But we took every precaution. I don't see how anyone could have got to Neville."

Albus frowned and sighed. All the precautions in the world wouldn't prevent someone from doing harm if that was their intention. "Yes, we all took every precaution, Sirius, but Neville wouldn't be protected from his grandmother, would he?" Sirius furrowed his brows. "You haven't heard the news I guess." Sirius shook his head. Bellatrix Lestrange was caught this afternoon outside of St. Mungo's. I fear that she got to Neville's grandmother and placed her under some form of the Imperius, which would allow her to transfer the curse to her grandson. There was absolutely no way anyone was going to enter or leave Neville's parents' room without being noticed, but Neville's grandmother came and went as she pleased.

**~*~**

The Heads of House informed their students of the events later that night. Albus was the one to talk to the Slytherins. The students were, of course, upset and shocked. It was a very good thing that the holidays began the next day, because until there was no further threat, there would be no students allowed to remain at Hogwarts.

Sirius had taken both Ron and Hermione to see Harry, and Hermione was inconsolable. Ron was not far from it. They weren't allowed to remain for long, but it was enough to see Harry and to know that he was going to live.

**~*~**

Harry slowly opened his eyes. Then the memories began rushing past him like a filmstrip: him stepping onto the platform, him and Neville bowing, him walking, turning around, then the last thing he saw was Severus falling.

"SEVERUS?

"**SEVERUS**?"

Harry began shouting and had tears streaming down his face.

"NO.

"NO.

"**NO, pleeeeeease. SEVERUS…SEV**?"

Sirius was sitting by Harry's bed when his godson began shouting, and immediately he sat on the bed and pulled Harry into his arms. "Shhh… Severus is going to be fine, Harry."

"SEVERUS?"

"HARRY?" Severus slowly opened his eyes as he heard his name being yelled out, and could tell it was Harry's voice, and it sounded strained.

"HARRY?"

When Harry heard Severus's voice, he broke down in Sirius's arms. He remembered it all; he had seen it all as if it had been in slow motion. He had seen Neville mouth the Unforgivable, he had seen Lucius trying to block Neville's path to him, and he had seen Severus throw himself in front of him. Then it had gone dark.

Sirius picked up Harry, carried him to Severus's bed and placed his godson beside the pale man in the bed. Immediately, Severus turned to Harry and began crying as he wrapped his arms around his precious Harry.

"I saw his eyes, and I knew… I knew what was coming… Oh, Harry…. he was going to kill you… I couldn't let him. I saw… Oh… NOOOOOOOO." Severus lost any control he had and broke down as he remembered seeing Lucius run in front of Neville.

Severus turned to Poppy, who had just entered the room.

"Lucius is dead." Poppy sadly nodded as Severus again allowed his anguish to wash over him. "And Neville?"

"I think he will be fine, physically, that is. Emotionally, this will devastate him."

**~*~**

After the students, with the exception of Hermione and Ron, left for the Christmas Holidays, the remaining inhabitants of Hogwarts stood in the hospital wing. Severus was now sitting up and holding Harry, who was doing better, but not as well as Severus.

Harry looked at Neville's still motionless body and began to talk as a tear fell down his face. "Professor Malfoy died because he didn't want Neville or me to suffer. He knew I wouldn't have died, but he knew that Neville would have never gotten over what he had done if he had cursed me with an Unforgivable. He died to protect Neville."

Severus brought Harry closer to his chest and began rocking the now sobbing Gryffindor. "Harry, I'm going to give you some Dreamless Sleep; you need to rest. It is not good for you to be so upset. You need to calm down so you can heal."

Harry looked up at Severus and frowned. **"Yeah, Sev… I can heal; Professor Malfoy was killed… he can NEVER heal, and Neville… who knows how he'll be when he wakes up? It was his mentor who DIED, SEVERUS…. HIS MENTOR. So, don't tell me to take it easy and calm down. I am so damned mad…. you don't understand… I was just hurt…."**

Severus now understood just how far someone would go for love. Lucius had sacrificed himself to protect these two young and vulnerable wizards. The Slytherin, who had until recently, been an active Death Eater, had changed sides and had made the ultimate sacrifice. Severus would miss his friend whom he had shared so much throughout his life, but he understood what Lucius had done as well as the reasons why – Severus would have done the very same thing had it been his duty to do so. This time it had been Lucius's, but Severus knew that one day his time would come as well.

Harry looked up at Severus with a half smile and nodded his head in understanding. He now understood why Severus hadn't been able to make the promise he had asked him to make a little over a month ago. He reached up and wiped the tear that was trailing down Severus's face and then kissed him on the lips. It was short and soft, but held the only promise the two ever needed: love.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty**

Peering out through the side door, Harry could see many of his former professors and friends taking their seats as they talked excitedly. He softly closed the door and turned to face his two best friends, who were currently standing by the window, holding hands and smiling as they watched guests arriving below. Harry couldn't help but smile: Ron and Hermione were meant to be together, and he was so very glad they had finally come to the same conclusion.

After the events of the previous year, specifically the events before the Christmas holidays, when the two had witnessed one of their professors being killed, as well as their best friend almost dying, the two had finally admitted their feelings for one other. Harry grinned as he thought of that first kiss, one where he had been an awkward bystander.

Hermione turned to Harry and gave him a huge smile as she walked over and hugged him. "Can you believe that in fifteen minutes you are going to be getting married?"

Harry wanted to correct her. No, they were not getting married, well, not really. They were going to be officially bonded, but yes, it was pretty much a wedding, so yeah, maybe he was getting married. Harry shrugged his shoulders, but then shook his head in wonderment as he took a deep breath. "Not really, but I guess once I get out there and see Severus, then it will seem real. Have you seen him this morning?"

"Your husband-to-be is wearing a hole through the floor in Professor Dumbledore's office; I'm not sure, but I think he is having Harry withdrawal," said a mischievous Hermione.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, it wasn't my idea to be 'kidnapped' by my two best friends, locked up in my former room in Gryffindor Tower, and isolated from Severus for the past er, lets see… fourteen hours," Harry said with a grin on his face. Upon receiving Hermione's knowing look, Harry continued, "I know, I know, Hermione, don't get started about the not seeing your soon-to-be betrothed the night before the wedding. It's just that Severus and I don't believe in such nonsense." Harry then furrowed a brow and gave a slight sneer to his friends.

"Er …Mate? You really have been around him too long, yeah? And I am guessing it will only be a matter of time before you begin wearing those billowing robes as well?" Ron asked, his face not masking his disgust at the mere thought.

"Yeah, uh huh, Ron, they are waiting for me in our bedroom. To be quite honest, I would never be caught in those heavy robes; they are bloody hot!"

There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Hermione asked, unwilling to let anyone in who wasn't supposed to be there.

"Don't worry, Hermione, it's just me, Sirius."

Ron walked past his girlfriend and opened the door, allowing Sirius, who was dressed in deep blue satin robes with silk gold trimming, to enter. Sirius looked at Hermione and nodded towards the door and then to Harry.

She smiled; Sirius wanted some time alone with his godson, so she grabbed Ron's arm, and the two left.

A serious and nervous Sirius turned towards Harry and shook his head slightly. "Your mum and dad would be so proud of you, Harry. In fact I am sure they are watching, from somewhere."

"Thanks, Sirius; that is the only sad thing about today, them not being here, but I can't dwell on it, I know. I have Severus now, and I'll always have you, and there are my friends. I'll be fine."

"I know you will, kiddo. I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am; you continually amaze me, Harry. Knowing that you are about to marry Severus, someone whom not so many years ago, you could hardly stand to be in the same room with, and knowing how hard it is for anyone to break through his outer exterior, you and he ending up together makes me even prouder. The two of you have overcome so much and deserve true happiness. I can see that both of you have found that in each other and I couldn't be happier."

Harry gave his godfather a big hug. "That means so much to me, Sirius, and I know Severus feels the same way."

"Speaking of, I have a message from him, for you."

Harry's eyes lit up. "What is it?"

Sirius loved seeing his godson so animated and happy; it had been a long time in coming. "He wanted me to tell you he loves you and can't wait to hold you in his arms as Harry James Potter-Snape."

Harry closed his eyes briefly.

"Well, we better get out there so you can marry that _greasy git._ Sirius's eyes were full of mirth as Harrym opened his eyes and shook his head, smiling.

**~*~**

Severus had never been this nervous. He had never felt this scared, yet sure of himself. He knew that bonding with Harry was what he wanted more than anything else; he loved him with all of his heart and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life making the younger wizard happy. He looked out over the Great Hall and smiled: These were the people who mattered the most to him and Harry, and were the ones who had been there for the both of them throughout the previous school year during all of the rough times.

Severus caught the eye of Albus, who nodded. It was time. Severus began walking towards the front of the Great Hall, along with Ron and Neville, who were serving as Harry's Best Men. Albus was doing double duty as both the one who would be officiating Harry and Severus's ceremony, and Severus's Best Man.

As he began making his way to the front, his breath caught in his throat as he saw his beautiful husband to be, exiting the side door, dressed in deep red silk robes with gold satin trimming. Severus noticed Harry's hair had been tamed to lie parted to the side. He was a vision of purity if Severus had ever seen one. Once their eyes met, neither one looked anywhere else.

Harry looked at Severus and was so happy he almost began crying. His future husband was wearing deep green silk robes with silver satin trimming, his hair had been pulled back into a silver clasp, and sitting on his shoulder was Ara, their owl. Harry fell in love all over again.

Severus finally made his way to Harry's side and gently placed his hand in his future husband's. The two then faced the Headmaster.

**~*~**

Albus stood before the intimate gathering congregated in the Great Hall and cleared his throat, immediately attracting the attention of everyone. He turned towards Harry and Severus and smiled as his eyes twinkled merrily at the sight of his two favorite people in the world.

Turning back to face Severus and Harry's guests, Albus began to speak. "This is such a wonderful occasion: the two people dearest to me have been joined together, strengthening that which they already shared. If two people in this world deserve happiness, it is surely these two." Albus glanced at the newlyweds and winked.

"I can still recall the uproar that took place when Severus and Harry's relationship, and the details surrounding it, were made public. It seems that not everyone approved of our Potions master being in love with Harry Potter, _The Boy Who Lived_." Albus noticed many smiles at this comment. "It was mass chaos at times, and even as both received negative feedback from some, they did not allow what those people thought to affect them in the least. They had both performed their duties that they had been given, and weren't going to allow anyone to tell them how they should live their lives now that they were free to live them as they chose. I am so proud of them for holding their heads high.

"After the strenuous year we have experienced here at Hogwarts, it would have been understandable if the two would have wanted to get away from all of the publicity and spend some time alone, but they both wanted to share their special day with family and friends. I, for one, am eternally grateful for that, because they gave me the most beautiful present this old man could ever wish for – they gave me the privilege of marrying them, and that, Severus and Harry, is a true gift you have given me, one I will cherish forever.

"I could go on and on about both Severus and Harry, about all of the grey hairs they have given me over the years," there was audible laughter heard from around the Great Hall, "but I shan't."

Severus and Harry looked at each other and smiled as Severus turned and laughingly shook his head at the Headmaster.

Turning again to the two wizards, Albus became serious. "You each began a journey almost eighteen months ago that has brought you to this place you find yourself today. It has been a truly magical experience watching the two of you as your love grew for one another. I have no new wise words of wisdom to give you today; no doubt the both of you know them all by heart by now." Again soft laughter erupted. "However, I leave the two of you with one word: love. Please stand everyone, and join me in toasting these two amazing people." As soon as everyone had a glass in their hands, Albus continued, "To Severus and Harry: love each other, forever." Albus hugged Harry, then Severus, and he handed the latter an envelope before returning to his seat.

Severus put the envelope in one of his robe pockets as Harry glanced at him curiously. Severus mouthed that he would explain later.

Ron looked at Neville and nodded. Neville stood up slowly, tapped the spoon on the side of his champagne glass to get everyone's attention, and cleared his throat. He looked around the large room and tried to remember what Harry had told him about underwear and older people. It didn't help as much as Neville hoped it would. "I've been up all night trying to come up with something appropriate to say today, but I've never been that great with words, so please bear with me. I wanted Ron to speak but he told me this was my speech to give." Neville laughed nervously as he looked at Harry and Severus, who were seated beside him. They each nodded reassuringly to him.

"From the first moment Harry and I met, I knew that we would be friends. He was genuinely nice, and I liked him immediately. It was hard for me to make friends, but Harry always made time for me, and that meant a lot." Neville looked at Harry and smiled, "That means a lot."

"Over Christmas break as you all know, Professor Malfoy was killed, and as you also probably know, he had been my mentor. Since I was injured as well, I didn't wake up for a week, but when I did, the first person I saw was Harry. I didn't need to ask what had happened, because I knew somehow. Harry held me as I cried and told me we would get through this; I'll never forget that.

"It is also because of him that Ginny and I started going out; I will never be able to thank him enough for that." Neville glanced at Ginny and grinned impishly.

"Harry's godfather has also been there for me; he took it upon himself to help me through everything, and he is the closest thing I have to a father figure since my own father can't be here for me." Neville glanced at Sirius and noticed that the older wizard had tears trailing down his cheeks. Neville thought he had probably been crying since the wedding began.

Sirius nodded at Neville and managed a huge grin and wink.

"As you all know, my relationship with Severus has not always been a smooth one." There were chuckles to be heard throughout the Great Hall. "However, things change and people grow up. I respect Severus more than I respect anyone, other than Harry. He has helped me tremendously over the past six months, without which I would be nowhere near as okay as I am now."

Neville picked up his glass that had just been refilled with fresh Champagne, and looked at the newly married couple. "When I see the two of you together, I know that there is such a thing as true love. The two of you being together is probably the very last thing any of us thought would happen since we all know the two of you haven't exactly always been friends, but that is what makes what we see now all the more special. I can't imagine either of you without the other.

"Severus, now that you have married Harry, you are one of us, whether you want to be or not. I just want to welcome you and wish you and Harry all the best."

Severus nodded as he smiled at Neville.

"And Harry, I know that you are happy; I can see it in your eyes, and I know it is Severus who helped put it there. You are my best friend, and I love you like a brother."

Harry stood and he and Neville shared a long hug. When they pulled away, each had tears coursing down their cheeks. They both had been through more in one year than most people experience in a lifetime, and because of that, their friendship had grown into much more; they were more like brothers now.

"Would all of you out there please raise your glasses and help me toast Harry and Severus?" Turning back to Harry and Severus, Neville continued. "May the two of you find serenity and joy in each other forever. To Harry and Severus."

Everyone raised their glasses and toasted the couple.

**~*~**

"Why are we stopping here, Sev?"

"Because I have a surprise for you." Harry opened his mouth to ask another question, but Severus shook his head. "Not yet; you'll find out soon enough, Mr Potter-Snape."

Harry's face broke out into a huge grin as he heard his husband addressing him as such, and he reached up and pulled Severus's head down so he could kiss him. "Whatever this is, it better be good, Severus, because we have some place we need to be, unless you have other ideas?"

"Oh no, Harry, no other ideas, but yes, I think you will soon agree that this stop was quite necessary."

Harry shrugged his shoulders, but gave Severus a smile as he nodded.

Severus led Harry down a long corridor and turned left at the end, where they passed through a set of double doors and entered another long corridor lit by sconces; it had only one door, which was located a few meters away, directly ahead of Harry and Severus.

Harry looked up questioningly at Severus as they slowly approached.

Severus cleared his throat, took a huge breath and then released it. "I wasn't sure if I should bring you here or tell you what I am about to before we left for holiday, since this time should be ours alone, spent together without any other worries or concerns. However, I know you all too well, and you would want to know this as soon as you could, believe me."

Harry's eyes widened. "What is it?" Obviously, this was something very important, but what could be so vital that he would want to know about it as soon as possible?

"Harry," Severus began, his tone now serious, "last night Narcissa Malfoy somehow retrieved her wand from the guards and killed Bellatrix Lestrange with the Killing Curse."

Harry opened his mouth wide but it quickly turned into a small smile. "Oh my goodness, Sev. We have to tell Neville. But, what happened to Narcissa? Anything?"

"Not yet, and I highly doubt anything further will, since… since she is already serving a life sentence in Azkaban. No matter that she has redeemed herself somewhat by what she did last night, she still supplied Voldemort with information that led to the death of her son."

"Did anything else happen?" Harry knew there was more. There had to be more. They did not stop in this dark, foreboding place for their health.

"According to Narcissa, Bellatrix began taunting her about Lucius dying and even made a few derogatory comments regarding Draco before admitting that she had placed Neville's grandmother under a variation of the Imperius, which could then be transferred to a predetermined individual. Bellatrix then said Lucius's dying had been one of her goals, but unfortunately, it had not worked as well as she had hoped. Apparently, Bellatrix wanted Neville to kill not only Lucius, but Sirius, you, and me as well."

"And that would have eliminated Voldemort's heirs as well as his executioner."

"Exactly. Narcissa told Arthur and me that she had to do it, and told him she knew he would understand, to which Arthur nodded. Of course, I was clueless as to why he would understand anything Narcissa said or did. Arthur saw my confusion and turned to Narcissa, telling her it was time."

"Time for what, and why are we here?" Harry interrupted, not able to stand the not knowing.

"There is someone whom I think you would like to meet." Severus smiled as he and Harry interlocked their arms and began walking again until they reached the end of the corridor.

Severus cleared his throat once again and took Harry's hands in his. "Before we go in the room, I want you to know that this is completely up to you." Harry furrowed his brows. "You'll understand. I would tell you now so you won't be surprised, but maybe it is best we just go in and see what is in there, together." Severus slowly opened the door and allowed Harry to enter the room first. The younger wizard gasped as he placed his hands over his mouth: his eyes met that of a woman sitting in a rocking chair holding a baby, who could not be more than a couple of months old.

The woman was Narcissa Malfoy, and Harry didn't have to guess what this was about any further. He turned to Severus and nodded vigorously as he quickly closed the few steps between them and hugged his new husband; he and Severus would raise this baby as their own. Or, at least he hoped they would. Harry turned towards Severus, hoping he hadn't jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"You, and me?" Harry pointed in between him and Severus, "and the baby?" Severus nodded and smiled at the excitement he saw emanating from his young husband.

Harry turned around when he heard the woman saying something quietly to the baby. He looked at Narcissa as she held out her baby to him.

"I cannot keep him with me, and there is no one else. Though I do not understand completely why, Lucius respected and trusted the two of you more than anyone else. That is why I would like the both of you to raise Lucius's and my son as your own."

Harry was holding the small baby and nodded when Narcissa finished. Harry took the baby to Severus and the two of them cooed over the tiny infant before returning the baby to Narcissa.

"Narcissa, Harry and I will be more than happy to raise your son as our own, and when the time comes, if he wants to know about you and Lucius, then we will tell him. Harry and I refuse to raise our son based on lies."

**Epilogue**

Severus, Harry, Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville watched as the students began walking towards their seats at the front of the Great Hall.

Leading the students was a petite girl named Minerva, who looked just like her father, Ron, but had the tenacious personality of her mother, Hermione. She caught a glimpse of her parents and smiled at them brightly.

Following Minerva was Alice Longbottom, the pride and joy of both Neville and Ginny. She had the dark hair of her father but the rest of her was the spitting image of Ginny.

Severus leaned over to his right and whispered in his son's ear, and whatever was said caused the young man to laugh out loud.

The blond-haired and profusely blushing young man quickly covered his mouth when he realised he had been heard.

Alice glanced back at him and a huge grin broke out on her face when he looked at her.

Severus and Harry watched as their son's and Alice's eyes met, and the two proud fathers smiled at each other. When the two of them had brought Remus Lucius Potter-Snape home with them twenty-one years earlier, neither Severus nor Harry had been prepared for parenthood, but the two had adjusted quickly, and with the help of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Sirius, Remus grew up surrounded by love.

A few years later, when Remus had asked why he had blond hair and his parents both had black hair, both Severus and Harry had sat the nine-year-old down and told him the truth about everything, including his brother, Draco, on the level that a nine-year-old could digest the information.

The young boy had been fascinated upon hearing what his father and daddy told him, and, of course, he'd asked endless questions, to which his parents answered as truthfully and as thoroughly as they could.

After the questions had finally stopped, Harry asked Remus if he wanted to meet his mother, and the young boy had enthusiastically nodded.

_"Yes, Daddy, I want to meet Aunt 'Cissa, but will you and Father come with me?"_

Harry and Severus had both hugged their son and told him that of course they would go with him; they would never allow him to face anything alone.

Twelve years later, Remus had grown into a young man whom Lucius Malfoy would be proud to call his son. That the privilege was Harry and Severus's, the two proud parents never took for granted. Love had done strange things in their lives, but when the call had been made, it had always been answered, and would continue to do so, always.

**~ Finis ~ **


End file.
